some rough thoughts on the dean cas fight in 15.03 the rupture after getting there in my current rewatch:
1. everyone is in SO much pain right now, they’ve lost so so much in such a short time. it’s like the start of s13 but with even less breathing room
2. obviously dean is angry with cas for going off script resulting in rowena’s death, and also for keeping secrets about jack and going off to deal with it on his own, arguably contributing to mary’s death. but a more subtle element is, i think, that when cas went lone-wolf to deal with jack’s soullessness, what he actually DID was get chuck involved. of course, cas had no way to know calling his dad for help would backfire so spectacularly, and chuck could have popped back up without cas calling for him! but chuck is still the one who killed jack, and chuck’s return is what’s sending dean into a complete tailspin existential crisis. so i wonder if cas initiating that is a contributing factor to the hurt he’s feeling.
3. it feels to me like dean wants to fight it out with cas here. his anger with cas is the easiest emotion to deal with right now and i wonder if he wants the catharsis of an argument, of getting everything out between them no matter how ugly. he’s not trying to drive cas away and i don’t think he wants a punching bag, either, i think he wants cas to hit back! (I’ll admit this is just opinion and speculation). the tension between them has been building, and dean seems genuinely thrown and overwhelmed with panic/grief when cas retreats?
and at first cas IS arguing back! but then dean hits too close to home, maybe, triggering his total retreat?
4. cas’s big dialogue feels so oddly speech-y that it comes across as almost planned or rehearsed, even
now, i feel similarly about cas dialogue in some other berens episodes, so I think this is probably just a quirk of his writing style. but it’s still intriguing to consider that cas might have come into this conversation already planning to leave!
5. i feel like I understand cas much less than i understand dean here. i can follow dean emotionally beat for beat, what he’s feeling when he says each thing, what’s driving him. I have WAY less of an idea what’s going on in Cas’s head when he chooses to leave (and why what dean says seems to hit SO hard), and the simplest explanations (feelings are just that hurt that he’s sad ant with bindle) feel maybe true but reductive of the complexity of what he’s experiencing right now. I feel like some of it is that the reminder of jack is too strong for him to bear, but idk beyond that. very much open to hearing people’s thoughts on this!!
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