THE SILENCE RINGING FOR DAYS.

Eager for affection and for disaster, oscillating between extreme audacity and the most dreadful anguish, as inconceivable on a scale of real beings as a mythical being, he tore himself on the thorns with which he surrounded himself until becoming nothing but a wound, never allowing himself to be confined by anything or anyone.

[cataclysmxs]

               cataclysmxs  :      dependent  multimuse  roleplay  blog  for anarchic2044 ( jo, she / her | twenty-six | gmt+2 )

— priya shah | biography, character study, mirror, pinterest — kang min-jae | biography, character study, mirror, pinterest — tanaka yuto | biography, character study, mirror, pinterest

[redance]

she wears her pain well, the way some women wear dresses or jewels passed down from one tender hand to another. she wears it around her wrists, lets it accentuate her hips and give a new, better shape to her feet. it still feels like a performance, all of it, like she has to make it elegant, watchable, and easy to digest.

''it's the same as always.'' which is her way of saying that it's worse. perching herself on the examination table, she turns to him with measured gracefulness, as if she's there to entertain. ''most people have their fate written in the lines of their palms...'' she pauses, nearly reaching for his hands only to remember where she truly is. so she smiles instead — this is the closest thing to an embrace. ''but mine is written on my feet.''

''— and of course, you may.'' still, akane doesn't dare to cast her gaze downward. in fragments, split apart, she waits for the right twist of his hand to stitch her back together. the blood that soaks her shoes is only hers. ''has it been a busy night, doctor kang?''

[cataclysmxs]

The  same  as  always. It  echoes  through  the  empty  room,  bounces  off  the  cold  white  walls.  Her  voice  doesn’t  speak  the  full  truth,  and  he  knows  it  —  he’s  always  been  capable  of  reading  her  flesh  and  movements  better  than  words.  So  he  is  silent,  and  with  the  precision  of  a  hand  that  only  a  lifesaver  (and  taker)  could  have,  he  is  now  untying  her  shoes,  slowly  taking  them  off. 

“Your  fate  and  your  story,  written  on  your  feet.  Am  I  wrong  for  believing  this  fate  should  become  a  little  less  painful?”  His  fingers  now  bloody,  he  doesn’t  stare  at  them  for  too  long  —  they’d  soon  be  fully  painted  red,  dripping,  leaving  pieces  of  her  on  the  floor.  “It’s  been  quite  slow,  actually.  Until  now,  at  least,”  a  silly  tease,  and  a  smirk.  He’d  never  mind  it. 

“Now…”  shoes  on  the  ground,  socks  —  nearby.  “I’ll  have  to  disinfect  it  and  look  at  how  bad  the  wounds  are.  I’m  sure  it’s  nothing  bad,  but  it  might  sting  a  little,”  and  he  finishes  his  short  mantra,  one  he  keeps  repeating  for  every  patient  —  for  her,  too.  Every  time,  without  a  miss.  And  then  he  cleans  it  up,  with  an  additional  touch  of  care. 

[redance]

the sound of her footsteps, well-practiced and perfected, lighter than the sound of rain falling, loses its momentum before reaching a waiting room devoid of any patients, a place bled of its colour under relentless fluorescent lights. it smells clean, well-nigh sterile, awash with bitter antiseptic — it almost smells like him. almost but not quite.

sharp discomfort slides between her shoulder blades when she catches a glimpse of her own reflection in a looking glass. bereft of her wonted attire and carefully curated ornaments, with half of her makeup wiped off in a hurry, she almost looks like someone else — but she knows this girl, knows her bones.

silent, swift, akane knocks only once, seeking no permission to enter an all too familiar office. '' i know i don't have a scheduled appointment, but i really need to see dr. kang. it'll only take ten minutes, i promise.'' she says, graciously peering, nearly hiding behind a half-opened door, like a cat that knows it shouldn't be there. she could recognize him with her eyes closed, eyes gouged. '' perhaps fifteen. '' @cataclysmxs

[cataclysmxs]

It  falls  silent  there  at  this  time  of  the  day  –  it’s  only  one  of  the  reasons  why  he’d  like  to  imagine  that  her  soft  footsteps  send  vibrations  that  can  reach  his  fingertips;  he’d  like  to  say  he  can  feel  it,  but  there  certainly  are  more  logical  reasons  for  his  anticipation:  a cyclic  apparition,  she  was  missed  –  it  was  long  since  he  last  saw  her,  at  least  here. 

He  hears  her  voice  and  a  sigh  of  the  assistant  that  follows  it  –  he  knows  they  can  recognise  her,  but  he’s  already  nodding  to  them  in  approval  before  there  are  any  words  said.  “Come  in,”  he  steps  towards  the  examination  room  –  she’s  following  him,  he’s  sure  of  it  –  after  all,  it's  a  dance  they’ve  had  before:  a  silent  peer  and  request,  a  waltz  to  the  door,  his  eyes  –  on  her  feet. 

There  are  nights  he  leaves  an  open  time  slot,  just  like  tonight  –  a  prophecy  usually  fulfilled,  even  though  he’s  unaware  of  her  calendar.  “How  bad  is  it  this  time?”  Sat  in  front  of  her,  he’s  almost  ready  to  help  her  take  her  shoes  off.  “May  I?”

[urheartsamess]

“The people who walk by you, the food you eat, the pills you take. Whatever it is, be careful with everything.” — “You’re a doctor. You can’t do that.” — “Don’t worry, I won’t get caught. Because I’m a doctor.”

[pantagruelic]

“I imagine myself covered with blood, broken but transfigured and in agreement with the world, both as prey and as a jaw of time, which ceaselessly kills and is ceaselessly killed.”

— Georges Bataille  (via rabbitinthemoon)

[dailyworldcinema]

DEEPIKA PADUKONE as ALISHA in Gehraiyaan (2022) — directed by Shakun Batra

[valtsv]

casual wear (splattered with blood) vs. evening wear (drenched in blood)

[deepikapadukonesource]

Deepika Padukone for the Jio World Plaza opening on Octorber 31, 2023.

[azulafacts]

have you ever considered therapy for your repressed anger issues? it would help.

they’re not repressed i’m expressing them a lot

[storge]

Kasamatsu Sho | Tokyo Vice (2022) 1.03 “Read the Air”

[dingyuxi]

LEE DO HYUN as JOO YEO JEONG THE GLORY PART 2더글로리 파트 2 (2023) dir. Ahn Gil Ho

[stars-bean]

Murder at the Gallop (1963) dir. George Pollock

[antigonick]

In his tent, Achilles grieved with his whole being and the gods saw he was a man already dead, a victim of the part that loved, the part that was mortal.

Louise Glück, excerpt of The Triumph of Achilles (via antigonick)