Psychedelic Silhouette

Living partly in the past, making sense of the present.

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

How many people have you said I love you to and meant it?

Am I one?

Who did you love the most?

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

Did you really not love me When we said goodbye?

Was I really that easy to wipe from your mind?

Cause I thought about you often, loving you still. A small part hidden inside a shell.

Wasted moments

A life that could've been

If you call I'd still answer

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

I can't work up the nerve to tell you I miss you and I will definitely never tell you part of me still loves you.

I don't want anything from you. I just want to have mattered.

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

When we talk it's surface level, if you reply. But I want to know if you miss me too?

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

I'm so close to asking you, how did you just fall out of love? Was I so terrible?

[thegoodvybe]

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

How stupid to be processing a break up now, instead of 10 years ago.

It wasn't my choice to quit. You made that choice and I have had to make my future choices based off that.

I genuinely love my family, but part of me still loves you too and I don't know where that's supposed to go? I didn't fall out of love like you.

Where does it go? Will it always be a small piece of my heart that I dip into every now and then to fix the wounds?

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

I could loose myself in the feeling of missing you.

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

And here I am, end of a weird year where I thought about you a lot, still wondering if I'm your favourite ex (probably not) and if you still care.

I just think I'll always have love for you and do many unanswered questions.

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

I don't like it when you say my name.

I prefer the one you knew me as, the name you used whilst we were 'us'

It feels unnatural, it feels sad.

It's what you used to break away from me.

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

I miss you, but I forgot the bad. Forgot how you were embarrassed of me when I met your uni friends....and how she hid in the corner noticing the discontent, ready to slither in.

How you sulked when you didn't get your way, made fun of me in the most intimate ways.

Told me I can't laugh at my own jokes and call myself funny.

But I still miss you the good times, when we laughed, shared secrets and ran down the hills. I miss holding your hand and walking round the woods. But we're not teenagers anymore.

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you?

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

Dear J,

I don't know if I ever wrote you letter. If this is something I'll ever send, but I miss you. Oh, how I miss you. I feel it in my bones and it catches my breath.

I want to see you, to talk to you. To know how you feel about what we were, about who we are.

I'm happy to be where I am, and I love my family more than words could say. But the back of my mind wonders could we have had that? I know we could've, and we could've been happy.

Would we be as happy as I am now?

Part of me wishes you hadn't given up on us. I know we grew up and grew apart, but I miss your friendship.

I think I loved you more than I let on. Did you know how deeply? I wish you loved me as much, but I have a feeling you didn't love me as much as you said.

Love always,

L xxx

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

I think I spent some long telling myself I never really loved you that its only hitting me now how much I did.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy where I am, it's just strange processing it now.

[heartwurm]

we made quite a mess, babe, it’s probably better off this way

[stillgotscars]

i almost do - taylor swift

[catch-myself-in-the-rye]

Forever living in nostalgia, thinking about 1, 2 and 3.

Living off a piece a paper,

Do they think about me?