I have not been myself these past few days. My heart and mind have been engaged in war... fighting over a thought I have for so long now. I have been contemplating of giving up my career in the BPO Industry, for too many reasons.
I have been this industry's "slave" for 12 years.. yes, I am here that long now. But don't get me wrong. I have come to love this industry which has tied me down for more than a decade. This industry has given me a "career," to which some people do not believe or call it at that. It had made me believe in myself more, boosted my self-esteem to the highest it can reach, given me the friends I cherish the most, discovered the leader in me, but most importantly, this industry had taught me a lot of lessons in life. With my years of stay in the BPO world, many people would say I should have been at the top of the ladder, to which, apparently, I am still not. I have also asked myself that question a thousand times. I should have been a Senior TL, Trainer or Analyst, or better yet I may have already been a head in Operations or Training, like what some of my colleagues have accomplished. Yet, here I am, still in the middle of the ladder. I have been equipped to know the ins and outs of the industry. Like everyone in this world, I started as an agent, a TSR to be more specific. But my efforts paid off that I have also moved up the ranks and became a Quality Analyst, Team Leader, Communication Coach/Specialist/Analyst, and Language Trainer. But if I were to look down at myself from the top, I would ask,"Why are you still there?" It was not all perfect... heck, nothing is perfect in this world. There were circumstances that has made me stay at where I am now. But then, I just woke up one day and dictated to myself, "I don't wanna do this anymore..."
Burned out? Too routinary? Uninterested? Maybe. Maybe not. Of all the jobs I have had in this industry, I love training the most. It gives me that sense of fulfillment, especially that feeling when you realize how much you have contributed to one's growth individually and professionally. But the same thought controlled my head. I am tired... literally and figuratively.
My body is also telling me that I have abused her for quite some time. I guess this job is taking its toll on me. I have also felt I have neglected my kids for so long. This chosen career is hardest for a mother like me, and when I look at my kids slowly growing up, I bawl thinking of the times I have lost.
I know some would just tell me, "So quit then!" But it's easier said than done. At my age, is there life after my call center life? Will I find a career outside of the industry that I have been in for so long? I have a degree in Hospitality Management and knowing that industry, I am over-aged. What am I good at doing? Training. Teaching. English. Admin Tasks. Reports. Writing. These are the jobs/fields I am confident at. Would I find a job (at least) that would give me a better, if not the same perks I had when I worked in the call center industry? Maybe. Maybe not. I have shed tears just having this dilemma. I have mouths to feed for one. And to those who know me, I also have to satisfy my "stress reliever" sort of thing... that I couldn't be without a job. I have options.. and working from home is one of them. I don't want to be a "slave" anymore.. I want to be free enough to take care of my kids and have more time for them. I want to have that liberty of doing what I wanna do in my own free time. I want my body to be well again.
So I am praying for guidance... I guess HE is the only one who could give me a clear answer. I am also wishing I'll be out of this dilemma too. I know some people who have said goodbye to the call center life and survived. I hope I could be one of them... soon.
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