I am angry. I have been getting angrier and angrier and angrier over the last month. I've been angry at the federal government for what they are trying to do to myself, my friends, to those I do not and will never know. I've been angry at the nominally liberal party for having it be a genuine debates on if they should or should not abandon trans rights as a sticking point, concede it for other things they see as more pressing. I've been angry, boiling with rage really, at seeing how ready the general public is to just blame it all on us. Just. Any amount of association with the death of Charlie Kirk, or anything that looks like we're linked to crimes, etc etc. Even while my home city, lauded as one of the safest in the nation, in one of the safest states in the nation, sees a string of transmisogynistic hate crimes in our fucking gayest neighborhood.
But, they aren’t the things making me the angriest. I can understand those events, those perspectives, the motivations and misconceptions. They are evil, all in their own way, but they’re transparently and honestly evil. What is making me angriest, is the way the “queer community” and “trans community” are responding. That on the internet we as trans women are being shut down, gaslit, ignored, bullied into non existence, by our “own” community. But that isn’t even what’s making me angriest, what’s making me feel like theres a constant grinding in the back of my skull.
Its the fucking performative allyship. The constant crooning and crying from tme’s about how they’re one of the good ones, about how its sad that trans women don’t trust anyone else, about how we need to protect the dolls, about how we’re all faggots in the eyes of the state and the best thing we can do to help keep ourselves safe is just shut up and let them handle it. About how we need to trust them, and how we’re the problem for not. As if every girl I know hasn’t lost friends for no good reason, as if every girl I know doesn’t have a horror story, as if every girl I know isn’t terrified of being dropped.
I have been ejected out of two nearly entirely tme “found family” friend groups without ever telling me why. I have had a lover (a trans man) try to socially murder me after constantly pulling at my heart strings for months, literally to amuse himself, for no apparent reason. Over nothing. I have had friend group after friend group refuse to accept me. I have been treated like dirt, again and again.
And you all have the fucking gall, the nerve, to tell us we need to trust you. Earn that trust. Earn that fucking trust, go out and do something, ANYTHING, to help the trans women in your area. Take action, fundraise, defend, do. Fucking. Anything. I don’t know a girl who doesn’t feel stretched to breaking these days, one who isn’t so occupied with school and/or work plus making an escape plan, plus trying to maintain a social life, plus trying not to drink or smoke herself to death from stress that she can have the time to go out and help. Actually, I know one, and she nearly got ejected from her hard one local political seat for no reason other than being a trans woman.
Step up or shut up. Probably both.