From the tap @catherinematthews - Tumblr Blog

“Those secrets kill.”

It’s time. Change the way you see mental illness, change the broken system, change someone’s life.

#strongerthanstigma #waynebrady #brandonmarshall #bringchange2mind #mentalhealth

Chicago

A few weekends ago I crashed my friend's apartment while she was on vacation. She's on the 24th floor of a highrise near downtown Chicago and the view is stunning. I snuck a few photos:

It's snowing outside, and Alison Krauss is always cozy and comforting.

The River

Sun--stand in the sky; -Rise in my soul Winter melts to sweet warm air It's the perennial bloom of spirit Spring soaking in and nestles with my heart

Burdens peel themselves from me Each slipping into the water as it rises against the rocks Then rushing on to meet the sea

It's in me still by evening Wandering the late-sun spattered fields Delighting in a cold beer and the mazical pattern of sunlight Slipping through branches of the trees It seems the world's begun again and I'm at it's peak, Bursting.

The Intersection of Wentworth and Vincennes

It’s around 3pm on a Tuesday in February, and I’m waiting for a bus at the intersection of Wentworth and Vincennes, Chicago, IL. I’m heading home – a weary hour and a half trip – after a day of legal screenings with kids at a detention facility. I’ve got one ear bud in, listening to some indie playlist or another, and an eye on the traffic.

A nice, black Lexus-sort stops, window rolled down, and a suit peers out. He’s wearing sports sunglasses on this somewhat bleak day, and is well-groomed, but not overly. He’s heading north, likely to his fancy sales team or rolling financial analysts. “Do you need a ride?” he interjects.

It’s not like I haven’t been asked this before. My past visits to this part of town have included various encounters with black men of all ages obviously trying to get a date with me. I always defer politely, only allowing that I live far to the north but maybe they’ll see me around. I do the same today, but he repeats the invitation. Again, I decline, assuring him I’m fine. He warns with a questioning tone, “So you know the neighborhood you’re in then.” I repeat my refusal, and assert that I come to this area frequently. Minutes later I’m on the 74 heading north too.

It’s clear that this man was attempting to keep an eye out for a young woman in a bad neighborhood, but it is entirely illogical that I would accept a ride from him. Just because he is white and drives a nice car, he’s still a stranger. Furthermore, what is he doing driving through Englewood at 3pm?

Data from December 31 to January 30, 2013 show Englewood is rife with crime. Wikipedia (albeit maybe not the most credible source) states that Englewood’s poverty rate of 44% is higher than Chicago’s overall poverty rate of 20%. And per capita income in Englewood is approximately $15,000 below that of Chicago at a low of $11,993. In fact, this article does a fantastic overview of the neighborhood: http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/community/englewood. So let me put it this way, it’s quite possible that this man was just in the area buying drugs. There are no fancy businesses in the area - in fact, it’s just the opposite – and if he were coming from further south, he would be on the expressway.

I think this is an interesting example of the privilege of whites, and the assumption, perhaps made by many, that whites are not subject to the same scrutiny or judgment as are other races. If a black man had driven by in a car (which, in fact, has happened) and offered me a ride, it would not necessarily be safe to accept either. It seemed this man held the assumption that because he is white and has economic status I would consider it a good idea to get in his car. But being white doesn’t lift him to a higher standard than any other person in this neighborhood. I’ll continue to ignore offers from all strangers in Englewood.

Impressions

First,

(besides the precise metro)

Lunch and sun on the Harbour Steps

And already I was falling in love

When I saw the waterfront,

Sat on that bench, gazing at the mountains

On the other side of the sound,

I knew.

by Catherine Matthews, 2011

The World

A man from the town of Neguá, on the coast of Colombia, could climb into the sky.

On his return, he described his trip. He told how he had contemplated human life from on high. He said we are a sea of tiny flames. "The world," he revealed, "is a heap of people, a sea of tiny flames."

Each person shines with his or her own light. No two flames are alike. There are big flames and little flames, flames of every color. Some people's flames are so still they don't even flicker in the wind, while others have wild flames that fill the air with sparks. Some foolish flames neither burn nor shed light, but others blaze with life so fiercely that you can't look at them without blinking and if you approach, you shine in fire.

- Eduardo Galeano

Beautiful blog written by the ever-lovely Carmen Beunza Gonzalez (disclaimer: its in Spanish)

http://lovemedo.blogs.elle.es/

Trepidation

P. broods. He comes quietly to the back-alley gatherings and greets all parties with the usual handshake or clap on the back. But he is often silent, less gregarious than the others, who hoot and holler, take cracks at each other, clown around. I wonder, sometimes, if he is less open around me, an outsider, because I'm not fully trusted, or understood, or if there is something heavy in his mind. I know little of his personal life, only that his nickname, meaning "black", became a fond layer when, as a boy, he hung out with all the black kids at school.

Written 26/September/2012

(Note: names are changed to protect identity)

Kroger

It was oddly nostalgic today, as I checked out of the grocery store. Buying tapenade, pumpkin spice half and half, and chana daal left me with an upbeat tickle of that last year. {The pumpkin spice half and half was no good, by the way.}

Maurice Sendak passed away today. Check out these great interviews from the Colbert Report; what a special man Maurice was.

The Violence Against Women Act...and men, too

As a paralegal in the field of immigration law, I frequently work with clients petitioning for legal status in the United States under VAWA, the Violence Against Women Act, passed in 1994. VAWA is a large bill, primarily providing aid for U.S. citizens; however, one of the provisions in VAWA applies to immigrants to the United States. This provision allows battered spouses, parents and children of current U.S. citizens or legal permanent residents to apply for legal status. This is pretty great, right?

However, implicit in the name of the act is that violence only occurs to women, that, seemingly, the relief will only apply to female victims. Yet, women are not the only victims of violence and men are not the sole perpetrators, and while the law does include provisions for men, it is titled and thus explicitly directed at women while only recognizing men implicitly. It is laudable that men are included in the act, but why are they excluded in the very title of the act yet included in the provisions? How has nobody amended this contradiction? Men face great stigma and often must overcome feelings of shame, guilt, and confusion when victimized; often they may not even realize or accept that they were victims. Thus, men must be overly explicitly included in an act such as VAWA so as to reach as many male victims as possible and to help them to understand their victimization and how to seek legal relief.

Furthermore, as I discussed in a previous blog post, "Terminological Chaos", as well as in my report on male victims of sexual and gender based violence in conflict*, the term "violence against women" is not an appropriate term to be using. And, in fact, the act itself does not at any point actually define the term used throughout. What is "violence against women" intended to mean under VAWA? We don't truly know. Considering men are considered victims eligible for relief under VAWA, the title of the act and the key term must be changed to accurately represent the appropriate violent acts and victims included in the provisions. So, read "Terminological Chaos" VAWA drafters, and then let's make some necessary changes.

*If interested, please contact me for more information

Opening Shop

Please check out my new crochet business at http://www.etsy.com/shop/thestrandcrochet?ref=seller_info. I'm selling crochet items handmade by me. I've put up 5 items for now, the other projects I've completed are available for viewing at catherinematthews.wordpress.com and if/as I sell items on Etsy, will be posted for sale. I can also make items made to request if desired, I just need some time in advance! Pass along my shop info to friends, family, etc. and stock up on scarves for the fall and winter!

Men as Victims of SGBV

Increasing noise about male victims of SGBV:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/jul/17/the-rape-of-men

http://english.aljazeera.net/programmes/insidestory/2011/07/2011728101626315380.html

Check out this great group I recently discovered (and he's from Virginia!)

More music on their site - http://wesswing.com/music

Terminological Chaos, Part II

“Language is dynamic; it grows, changes and develops. This is particularly true with the language of diversity and the terms (labels) we use to identify ourselves. As respectful individuals in a civil society, we should strive to be sure that our language does not demean, exclude, or offend. We must allow others to self identify, for definitions of terms will vary for everyone. These definitions provide a starting point for discussion and understanding.” (OK2BME)

LGBT, LGBTI, LGBTIQQ, LGBTQQIA, the list of potential acronyms goes on. There does not seem to be a universal acronym used for the range of sexes, genders and sexualities, likely due to the fact that most of us don’t know which terms to use or what they each mean. Is “queer” an acceptable word? What exactly does being “asexual” entail? The University of Richmond Health Center has a pamphlet on “Being Gay/Lesbian” but the Student Alliance for Sexual Diversity talks about LGBT rights. It seems to be just as confusing to decide which term(s) to use as it is to determine which sex, gender, and sexuality one actually identifies with. These days, we’re beyond the point of using the binary terms of “gay” versus straight” and “homosexual” versus heterosexual”. We’ve learned it’s a bit more complicated than that. To begin with, it is important to understand the meanings of the words “sex”, “gender” and “sexuality” (or sexual orientation). Sex is seen as the biological characteristics of a person; that is, male, female, or intersex. A person is referred to as intersex when there is a discrepancy between the standard set chromosomes and genitals due to problems in the formation of chromosomes, gonads, or external genitals. The term intersex is now preferred to “hermaphroditism”. Gender is described as “a socially constructed collect of traits, behaviors and meanings that have been traditionally attributed to biological differences.” (Association of Gay, Lesbian & Bisexual Issues in Counseling of Alabama) Gender was once seen as a binary term differentiating between masculinity and femininity; however, gender is now a much more fluid term, as some do not identify with the gender typically associated with their sex. Gender identity, thus, refers to one’s psychological sense of oneself as male, female, both, or neither. Transgender refers to individuals who do not identify with the gender that is typically associated with their sex. Transsexual is a subcategory of transgenderism and refers to people who do not identify with the gender associated with their biological sex and undergo medical transition, such as taking hormones or having surgery, to change their bodies. There are FTM (female to male) and MTF (male to female) transsexuals. A bi-gendered person is someone who identifies with both maleness and femaleness and lives part time as each. Pangenders do not conform to binary gender standards, identifying as neither male nor female but instead as a third gender. Gender Queers, Gender Benders, Gender Blenders, Gender Variants, Gender Outlaws, Gender Non-Conformists and Intergenders redefine or play with gender, or refuse gender altogether. Cisgender refers to individuals who identify to the gender assigned to them at birth. Sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same. A man who is attracted to men, for example, may or may not identify with the male gender. The exact definition of sexuality is unclear today. It once referred to one’s sexual attraction to the sex of a person; however, there is debate now over the definitions of the terms “sex” and “gender” and many prefer to view them in terms of a continuum, rather than binaries. Personally, I would consider sexual orientation to refer to one’s sexual attraction to both sex and gender, not solely the biological sex of a person but also their traits and behaviors. Being heterosexual or “straight” means that a person is attracted to the “opposite” sex. That is, heterosexual women are attracted to men and heterosexual men are attracted to women. Homosexuals are attracted to people of the same sex, and possibly the same gender; however, in some homosexual couples, one person has adopted more feminine traits and behaviors while their partner is more characteristically masculine. Gays and Lesbians are the two subcategories of homosexuality; gay refers to men who are attracted to other men and lesbian refers to women attracted to other women. Queer is a term once used as a derogative to refer to homosexuals but many younger members of LGBT communities are now reclaiming the term as a political statement which advocates breaking binary thinking and as an inclusive term with which to identify all non-heterosexual and/or non-gender-conforming people. Nonetheless, this term must be used with caution (or not at all) as many older members of the LGBT community feel that the word queer has been used to demean their community for too long and are thus reluctant to embrace it. (OK2BME) Faggot (or fag) and dyke are terms that have historically been used negatively to refer to gays and lesbians, respectively. While some are reclaiming these terms in a positive context, they are still sensitive words to many and I am of the opinion that it is best to use gay and lesbian. Bisexual is the term used to describe people who are attracted to both men and women, but not necessarily simultaneously or equally. Pansexual, or omnisexual, refers to people who are attracted to people across a spectrum of genders. Asexuals, on the other hand, lack feelings of sexual attraction and/or sexual desire. There is a distinction between asexuality and abstention or celibacy, which are behavioral, while asexuality is not a life choice but rather a sexual orientation. When considering each of the aforementioned terms, it is important to remember that sexual orientation is an attraction primarily to sex; however, the gender continuum also affects to whom one is attracted. Where do these definitions leave us? Some terms still have the same definition but it is not clear as to which is preferred. For example, both “pansexual” and “omnisexual” refer to people attracted to people across a spectrum of genders; however, it seems redundant to have two terms with identical meanings. The LGBTIQQ (etc.) community needs to come to a consensus as to which terms are appropriate, which are offensive (such as fag) and which (if any) acronym will be used. Furthermore, should we be lumping sex, gender and sexuality into one acronym or do they merit separate categories? I believe that the codification of these terms is one of the stepping stones toward a more inclusive community. Perhaps one of the barriers toward acceptance of all sexes, genders, and sexualities, is the confusion around terminology and the desire not to offend. So will we remain silent and confused or will we begin to discuss and work towards a diverse and inclusive community?

Terminological Chaos

International human rights groups are now focusing increasingly on sexual and gender based violence (SGBV), gender-based violence (GBV), violence against women (VAW), and sexual violence (SV). But the definitions for these terms are both ambiguous and nuanced – how do they differ? Do they apply to men and boys too? The United Nations High Commissioner on Refugees states that sexual violence, gender-based violence and violence against women are terms that are commonly used interchangeably. The International Rescue Committee, for example, vacillates between using violence against women, gender-based violence and sexual violence. Amnesty International uses sexual violence, gender-based violence, sexual and gender-based violence and violence against women. The terminology is not universalized among the human rights community, nor even standardized within individual organizations. How can we prevent and respond to SGBV, GBV, VAW and SV if we don’t truly understand what they entail? Gender, in fact, is not the same as “sex”, and this is an understanding that is a critical component of codifying what GBV might mean. According to WHO, “gender” refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women while “sex” refers to the biological and physiological characteristics that define men and women (http://www.who.int/gender/whatisgender/en/index.html). It is important to understand the implications of the meaning of gender, as perpetrators often seek to gain power and dominance over the victim through the imputation of homosexual and/or feminine attributes onto the victim. Keeping this in mind, gender-based violence would, by definition, encompass any form of violence targeted at the gender of a person: one’s masculinity or femininity, not necessarily one’s sex (male or female). The general perception is that GBV is synonymous with sexual violence, but, I would argue that it is not necessarily a sexual act but could be any form of violence (emotional, physical, etc.). GBV is an act intended to degrade, to attack human dignity and to assert power and control over a victim. Sexual violence, on the other hand, is any form of violence that is sexual in nature. Sexual and gender-based violence, then, must include violence that is sexual in nature targeted at the gender of a person. How, then, can these terms be used interchangeably with the sex-specific term violence against women? As a human rights community, we need to be more precise with our language. Violence against women, quite literally, is a vague and broad term that would refer to any form of violence against women. However, most organizations apply the definition used by the UN Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women, which is “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.” (http://www.un.org/documents/ga/res/48/a48r104.htm) Essentially, the declaration makes the statement that violence against women is the equivalent of gender-based violence directed at women. This could be a useful distinction to make if they were actually making the distinction; however, the terms violence against women and gender-based violence are, instead, being used interchangeably. In addition, they do not distinguish between violence against women and the equally important “branch” of gender-based violence, which is violence against men. Although many organizations tend to use the aforementioned terms indiscriminately, I believe it does matter which term is used as each refers to very different acts. The lack of precision and calculation directed towards the understanding and usage of SGBV, SV, GBV, and VAW undermines the importance of these issues. The human rights community needs to develop a universal terminology to unite our efforts to prevent and combat all forms of sexual and gender-based violence: gender-based violence (violence against women and violence against men) and sexual violence. Confused yet?

(Originally written summer 2010)

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