True Crime and Cats

A blog that no one ever asked for. Bringing you everything you never wanted to know about cats, crime, and more…all right from my very own brain.

[catsandtruecrime]

The Idaho 4: Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan

It’s been a while since I’ve felt the need to get all of my feelings out on a particular topic, especially one that’s been in the news as heavily as this has been. I’ve always been a decidedly outspoken person; I think it’s the Libra in me that feels the need to balance the scales. She craves justice and wants to scream from the rooftops about what is right and what is wrong, and who am I to deny her that pleasure? 

At this point, everyone knows where I stand on politics, social justice, and human rights. I’ve come to the conclusion that in today’s world, there is no room for debate regarding those topics and very little room for discussion. My patience for stupidity is wafer thin, and I’m no longer interested in engaging in keyboard fisticuffs with those who choose to deny facts, and instead wish to see the world through tacky, gold plated, aggressively orange stained glasses. 

The internet is a dangerous place for people who refuse to see facts. These days, places like Twitter (no, I will not and will NEVER call it “X”) make me feel like I’m at a bad improv show as I watch new and destructive echo chambers form. Stupidity and ignorance post a poorly thought out comment regarding a current tragedy, then hatred and malice scream, “YES, AND…” as an unrealistic and ill-intentioned conspiracy theory gains legs. Before you know it, the worst people you know are all telling each other how smart they are, how they see things no one else does. They egg each other on, deep in a Reddit thread, and they lurk in the TikTok comments, spreading the “information” they’ve convinced themselves everyone else is overlooking. 

My presence on the internet is carefully crafted. I’ve figured out how to use the algorithms on each site to my advantage. Follow as many artists as you can. People who paint. People who sketch. People who make art. Not only is it good for inspiration, it’s also safe. Who’s going to have a hot take about paintings of cats and seascapes? Throw a like to every cute animal video you see. Who would ever say anything mean to a raccoon that doesn’t let his birth defect stop him from owning the streets of Seattle? Funny but wholesome trends? Watch and leave a comment. Tweet about Love Island and Bravo shows. Taylor Swift. Follow other Swifties who are also artists. People whose dogs howl along to The Life of a Showgirl. On the internet, I am safe in my bubble of Taylor Swift, art, and animals. 

I do have one niche that I overlooked, however. Two paragraphs ago, you were probably thinking, “A current tragedy? This seems weirdly specific…” and that’s because it is. 

If you know me at all, you probably know that I’ve been interested in true crime for as long as I can remember. “Interested” feels like the wrong word, though; maybe it’s because I’ve been consistently exposed to death from an early age, but I’ve always been compelled to bear witness to the more morbid sides of humanity. When it comes to true crime, I think I feel a sort of duty and responsibility to engage with true stories of kidnapping, abuse, and murder. Hear me out, though, I promise I’ll bring this one home in a way that doesn’t make me sound insane…

Bearing witness or holding space feels like a more appropriate way to explain how I feel about true crime, more accurate than saying that I’m “interested” in it. 

There is a lot of discussion these days regarding the ethics of true crime and consuming true crime content. Many argue that consuming this sort of content for entertainment is unethical; the victims were real people, after all, so isn’t it wrong to use their deaths to entertain ourselves? I would agree with this stance, so I think it’s important to reflect on why you’re consuming true crime content if you choose to do so. 

As someone who chooses to consume both true crime and horror content, I’ve always been able to feel the difference between the two, though I don’t think I was ever able to articulate it until recently. I believe that it’s imperative to consistently remind yourself that true crime is fundamentally different than horror, and needs to be handled and consumed differently as a result. 

Horror content, like a scary movie or a mystery book, is fiction. True crime content is different. 

Podcasts, documentaries, and TV shows about true crime cases MUST be consumed with a degree of empathy, respect, and care, because true crime is exactly what they are: true stories about real people who experienced some of the most terrifyingly horrific things that most of us can’t even imagine. 

From my high horse, I can say that this is the only correct way to engage with true crime content. Even as a self-proclaimed empath, though, I know that this can be a hard thing to remember. When a true crime case is presented in a way that looks like your favorite TV show or two girls gossiping on a podcast, it can be hard to remember that the story you’re hearing isn’t made up. I think one of the most important things when engaging with true crime content is to be aware of your motives and check yourself; if you’re consuming the story for the same reason you would a horror movie or Freida McFadden’s newest captivating thriller (for entertainment), consider pausing and reflecting. 

How would you feel if you were in the same situation as the victim? 

How would you feel if the victim was one of your family members? Your best friend? 

Remind yourself that you’re not just hearing about a fictional character. You’re bearing witness and holding space in your life to learn about someone’s final moments and what brought them there. You’re learning about a real person, who lived and breathed the same way as you, who had their own thoughts, beliefs and dreams, and you’re choosing to listen to the very real story of how all of that was cut short, or how their life was irreparably altered due to an often callous act of violence. 

Personally, I’ve always joked that if I ever get murdered, my favorite true crime podcasts better cover my death. I’m serious though, and I think that feeling is what I try to lead with anytime I hear a different true story of someone’s untimely demise. To me, the primary function of true crime content isn’t, and shouldn’t be, entertainment. The primary function should be to honor and remember victims, and if you want to ethically engage with the content, this should be your primary motive for doing so, too. Put yourself in the victim’s shoes. Put yourself in the survivor’s shoes. Put yourselves in the shoes of their family, friends, and loved ones, and consider how you would want the story to be told if someone you loved became a national news story. 

I think some people fail to realize the reality and truth behind well known true crime cases, especially as they’re playing out in real time. Whether because of pure ignorance or because of malice and the sadistic desire to pile more pain onto an already tragic situation, I have seen some of the most disappointing and disgusting opinions flooding the internet lately. 

As the case of “The Idaho 4” or “The Idaho Student Murders” finds its way back into headlines, my carefully crafted bubble has burst. My algorithm knows about the podcasts I listen to and about the documentaries I watch. It knows that I tend to read articles and stay up to date on recent crime news, and it knows about the things I’ve Googled as I’ve tried hopelessly to determine what makes evil people do evil things or why bad things happen to great people. My algorithms have watched as I’ve tried to learn as much as possible about victims that I never met, but felt the need to mourn nonetheless. 

My algorithm has guessed (correctly) that I have closely followed this case from the very start. What it doesn’t know, though, is how I’ve felt sick to my stomach every time I see a photo of the house at 1122 King Road in Moscow, Idaho. It doesn’t know that at first, I could hardly stand to look at the photo of 6 college kids being passed around to appear on every screen in the country, because I knew that four of them were dead.

It doesn’t know that every time I looked at that photo, I thought of my own photos with my friends and college roommates. We were only a couple of years older than them. We had taken photos and videos just like theirs. It doesn’t know that when I looked at Kaylee Goncalves, Maddie Mogen, Xana Kernodle, and Ethan Chapin, I instantly felt like I knew them. I saw myself in them, and in their surviving roommates, Dylan and Bethany.  

An algorithm doesn’t know the fear I felt as days and then weeks went by from November to December of 2022, as there were fewer and fewer updates on the case. The fear wasn’t for my safety, or of a boogeyman that hadn’t been caught yet. My fear was that the case would go cold. My fear was for the families and friends of those four kids. Fear that they would never get justice. Fear that they would never know why their loved one was here one day and gone the next. 

An algorithm doesn’t know the relief I felt when I finally got the breaking news update that an arrest had been made, or how nervous I felt at first, thinking “I hope this actually means something real, something big is happening.” It doesn’t know the butterflies I felt as I read through the probable cause warrant that allowed police to make that arrest, because as I read the words, I thought, “Holy shit. They got him.” An algorithm could never understand the gut feeling I got the first time I saw the guy’s face. He did look like a boogeyman. His eyes were soulless and I remember thinking, “Oh yeah…that’s him.” I think half of America had the same gut feeling. 

An algorithm only understands trends. It knows what people are talking about and whether you’re likely to be interested in a particular topic. It knows words, but not the meaning, context, or impact behind them. 

As this case has made its way into recent headlines once again, my algorithm picks up on the fact that I have followed this case closely, and it shows me Tweets, TikToks, Reddit threads, articles, and opinion pieces containing the keywords that it thinks will grab my attention. They do, but I have been increasingly repulsed by the things that people are saying, commenting, reposting, and regurgitating when it comes to this case. 

To put it simply, I’m absolutely disgusted and disappointed, but ultimately not surprised, at the number of people who think that they’re smarter than detectives and that they’ve cracked the case. I’m astounded at the number of people who want to insist that the police got it wrong and that the man behind bars is innocent. He was railroaded by the cops and the evidence they have is fake! It’s planted! They interpreted it wrong! It was this person or that person! It’s a cover up! 

Full transparency, if I’m going to lose credibility, it’s probably now. Anyone with delicate sensibilities should probably stop reading here, because some of my following thoughts and feelings can only be described in four letter words, and I don’t intend to hold back. My views on this case are black and white, and my beliefs regarding what is right and what is wrong here are strong. 

Continuing, I will not be saying the perpetrator’s name. In the recent Netflix documentary on this case, Kristi Goncalves mentioned that she refuses to say his name, and I will do the same out of solidarity and respect for the victims’ families’ wishes. He does not deserve his name to be spoken. He does not deserve to be known. He is not important. He is a worthless shit stain who does not deserve a morsel of sympathy, respect, or understanding, and if you believe for one second that he is innocent of the crimes he is accused of (and PLEAD GUILTY to), you’re either ignorantly naive, a fucking moron, or both. 

A big reason why I felt the need to write this all out is because of how many posts and comments I’ve seen claiming that there is some grand conspiracy going on here. I have seen too many idiots telling each other, “YES, AND…” with their interpretations of this case, as they convince each other that they have it all figured out. I have seen too many people with too much time on their hands who want to play detective because they think they’re smarter than the police and the FBI, just because they have access to Google and can type on a keyboard. 

I am absolutely sick and tired of seeing stupid people perpetuate idiotic beliefs, and I’m tired of seeing them grow their echo chambers of ignorance and malice under the guise of “being informed” or “finding the truth.” 

I believe that the core reason these people continue to advocate for his innocence is simply that they WANT a conspiracy, so they’re creating one when the ingredients aren’t there. There is no ambiguity or room for interpretation of evidence here. 

The murder weapon is consistent with a knife that he purchased on his own Amazon account months prior to the murder. A knife sheath matching the one that he purchased was found under one of the victims’ bodies. The sheath had DNA on it that was later matched to him. Even though the knife itself wasn’t found, all of this alone should be enough to convince someone with half a brain that he is the perpetrator, not to mention the surveillance videos, cell phone data, and other circumstantial evidence that point to him undeniably being the one who murdered Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan in November of 2022. 

Internet “sleuths” are insisting on a conspiracy because they refuse to see the truth. Because the truth isn’t as entertaining for them as a conspiracy would be. 

The truth is this. The perpetrator was a fucked up individual who had driven past the house where Dylan, Bethany, Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan lived on multiple occasions prior to the murder. People who know him have said that he was creepy and had a hatred towards women, especially those who reminded him of his high school crush, a pretty blonde girl who may or may not have known he existed. He’s been reported to have tendencies toward OCD and a need for control. He was a criminology student and he was a loser that had a fascination with how killers are caught. 

The horrifyingly simple truth is that in all likelihood, there was no motive. Just violence, hatred, and lack of regard for human life. He probably drove by the house on King Road one day, saw the 5 pretty girls who lived there, and decided that he was going to kill them, because he hated women, and thought he was smart enough to not get caught. 

The truth is that the police caught him because he’s a sniveling, narcissistic, idiot with a misplaced confidence in his own intelligence. The truth is that there are no words for how evil and cowardly this shit stain is. Calling him a monster would be too kind. Calling him the devil would imply too much cunning. The truth is that a cowardly shit stain is exactly what he is. A disgusting, putrid smear on the earth, masquerading as a man. 

The truth is that since he is behind bars, he has lost control and is grasping at straws trying to get it back. Pleading guilty gave him control. It took the death penalty off the table and made him feel like he got to decide his fate. Now that he’s been sentenced, he has once again lost all of his control. He is a loser who wants attention and wants people to talk about him so that he can feel important again. 

The people who don’t want to see this truth are the same people who think that true crime is the same as horror. They refuse to acknowledge that the people involved are real people and expect entertainment instead of reality. They want a better story, a more compelling motive, or more perfect survivors. 

One of the things that bothers me the most about this is that last part. While the primary victims of this crime were Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan, this perpetrator left two survivors for society to attack and abuse instead. The conspiracy theorists on the internet love to call attention to these two survivors, the other two roommates, Dylan and Bethany. 

Dylan, in particular, seems to be the subject of the most hateful comments, because she reportedly saw the perpetrator in the house that night. At some point, Dylan ran to Bethany’s room and locked her door. Neither of them came out of Bethany’s room for 8 hours as they heard the noises of their roommates being attacked. At approximately noon the next day, Dylan and Bethay called a friend’s boyfriend to come check on their roommates, and he was the one who ultimately got Dylan and Bethany out of the house and called 911.

On the surface, that does seem suspicious if you’re picturing it like a horror movie. An intruder, clad in black, holding a knife, chasing college students around a house like an 80s slasher film. 

But this isn’t a movie. These are real people, not perfectly written characters acting out a scene that’s been staged to illicit fear in a captive audience and further the plot towards a dramatic ending.

If you find Dylan and Bethany’s actions suspicious, I would tell you to put yourself in their shoes, but the truth is that none of us can do that. Very few, if any, of us have been in a comparable situation to find out how we would react. The truth is that everyone reacts to trauma differently, and it isn’t reason or logic that guides your decisions in a stressful situation. Your instincts throw you into survival mode, and your brain takes over your fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses to give you the best chance at making it out alive. 

Adding to this, these girls were barely adults. Dylan and Bethany were both 19 at the time, and everyone had been drinking that night. Show me a 19 year old college student who makes reasonable decisions on a good night when they’re drinking. I’ll wait. 

I can only imagine the confusion and terror Dylan and Bethany must have felt that night. When you’re living in a house with your four best friends, everyone is constantly coming and going and it wouldn’t be all that surprising to see people you don’t know in your house. Even after running to your friend’s room and locking the door, you would never assume that your four roommates were being murdered upstairs. If it were me, I know I would have talked myself out of thinking the worst. Especially after drinking, I would have told myself that I didn’t know what I’d seen, it was probably just somebody’s friend, somebody was probably just fighting, and this is all assuming that I would be capable of intentional and rational thought in such a stressful situation.

Ultimately, I think anyone who seriously thinks that they could be suspects needs to get a fucking grip and think about this realistically instead of expecting Dylan and Bethany to have acted predictably in an unfathomably unpredictable situation. Furthermore, I’m sure they blame themselves and wonder what they could have done differently every single day. The last thing they need are shitbags on the internet adding even more pain and accusations to an already tragic situation that they will be battling their own wounds from for the rest of their lives. 

This goes for every family member, friend, and loved one of Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan who now have to deal with people on the internet who insist on creating their own entertainment out of an unimaginable tragedy. Their families and friends have to be some of the strongest people on this planet, because I genuinely do not know how you deal with seeing a bunch of morons imply that one of the kids’ friends or a loved one is actually to blame, especially when you know the truth without a doubt: that the fucker responsible is already sitting in prison, and those morons are trying to insist that he’s innocent. 

In an age where anyone can spew any accusation or outlandish theory, no matter how unrealistic, unfounded, and unsupported by real, tangible facts, I think it’s more important than ever to stand with the families and emphatically state that facts are facts, and in this case, the facts undeniably show that the human shaped piece of shit sitting behind bars is exactly where he belongs. 

Stop talking about him. Stop insisting that he’s a victim too. Stop inventing smoke where there is no fire. Just. Fucking. Stop. 

If you want a good story with a fun twist, a clear motive, and ideal characters, go to Barnes and Noble. Walk over to the “Mysteries and Thrillers” section. Pick out a book. Hell, pick out two, three, as many as your heart desires. Go home. Instead of logging onto the internet, open your new books. Read them. Write a review. Write to the author. Tell them what you would have done differently. Write your own book. 

Then, look at the photos, videos, and stories being shared about the wonderful, beautiful people Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan were. They are not characters in the book you’re too unmotivated, illiterate, and unintelligent to write. They were kids. Funny, bubbly, sweet, loyal, loving, loved kids who were violently taken from the earth far too soon. 

Do not speculate. Do not force their families and friends into a mystery that doesn’t exist. Do not insist that you’re smarter and know better than the people who knew and loved Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan. You’re not. You do not know better than the police. You do not know better than the FBI. If you want a conspiracy, a fun little mystery, then write one, and do not use a very real tragedy and real people to entertain yourself in the meantime. 

Knowing the insurmountable rage and disgust I feel when I see people online insist on this freak’s innocence, I can’t imagine how difficult and all consuming it must be for the families of Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan. I’m just some random girl from Illinois who never spoke a single word to any of them. 

To be the ones who raised each of them, to see their hopes, dreams, ambitions and futures developing, and then to have their lives so carelessly destroyed is something I can not fathom experiencing. And then to have countless strangers claim that they know what REALLY happened…I think I would have to go into hiding. Move to a deserted island in the middle of nowhere, and forsake the society that insisted on creating a whodunit out of my anguish. 

Instead, these families persevere. Instead of hiding their stories away, instead of keeping their memories of Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan sacred and secret in an effort to protect them from being tainted by a cruel society, they’ve made those memories sacred in a whole different, much louder way. They have not closed themselves off. They have not chosen to gatekeep videos and photos of “The Idaho 4.” They have chosen to show us again and again who these shining souls truly were.

While wannabe whistleblowers on the internet attempt to turn their heartbreak into conspiracies and entertainment, the Goncalves, Mogen, Kernodle, and Chapin families continue to fight back and keep the focus on what is most important: Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan, and fighting for something that resembles justice when justice can never truly be served; I firmly believe that in cases like this, cruel and unusual punishment would not be enough.   

In the newest Netflix documentary about this case, Kristi Goncalves states that the only justice would be if Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan came back. While this is a heartbreaking impossibility, perhaps the closest thing to justice would be the perpetrator rotting away in a jail cell, while the whole world continues to remember and honor Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan for the people they were. 

Maybe justice is keeping their memories alive while refusing to acknowledge the perpetrator who longs to be remembered and feel important. Perhaps justice is him fading into obscurity and the world remembering Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan instead. Maybe one day, justice will be served when the world refers to “The Idaho 4” and we all picture the smiling faces, the college shenanigans, the four lifetimes of memories that happened to be shorter than they should have been, instead of thinking about the reason why that’s the case. 

In the meantime, I’ll continue to follow this case in the hope that eventually, we won’t be following this case anymore. I’ll keep reading in the hope that soon, there will be no more to say, no more hot takes; only support, solidarity, and healing for everyone that Kaylee, Maddie, Xana, and Ethan left behind. 

[catsandtruecrime]

What happens when “justice” doesn’t feel like justice?

This morning I was listening to Morbid, one of my favorite podcasts for true crime and all things spooky. In particular, I was listening to their episodes on the Galveston 11, who were 11 girls, murdered in and around Galveston, TX in the 70s. Links to the two part episode can be found below in the references section.

Technically, the murders are still unsolved, though they’re commonly attributed to Edward Harold Bell, who confessed to the murders while in prison for the unrelated murder of Larry Dickens in 1978. Aside from his confessions (he had actually confessed multiple times to multiple people), there was also a mountain of circumstantial evidence that linked him to each of the Galveston 11 murders, including the nature of his known offenses, proximity to the victims’ abduction sites and/or dump sites, and witnesses who reportedly saw Bell at the locations where some of the victims disappeared on the same day and time that they went missing.

Even though pretty much everyone attributes the murders to Bell, he was never actually charged with any of them as he spent his life in prison from the time of his sentencing in 1993 to his death in prison in 2019 at age 79. At the time of his death, he was about 26 years into his 70 year long prison sentence; he wasn’t getting out any time soon, even if he hadn’t died in 2019.

Some people would say that since he was spending his life in prison anyway, justice was served even if the exact crimes carried out against the Galveston 11 were never definitively linked to Bell. This doesn’t sit right with me.

As I dive deeper and deeper into the world of true crime, I feel like I keep finding case after case that just leaves me with an icky feeling; I’m sure this is partially just part of hearing about murder and some of the most depraved acts humans have ever committed, but some of that can be curbed if the case ends with, “…and in the end, Jeffrey Dahmer, who received 15 consecutive life sentences, was brutally beaten to death by a fellow inmate. The end.”

The sense of justice you get almost lets you breathe a sigh of relief as you learn that the murderer finally got what they deserved. For a petty person like me who loves a good dose of revenge, there’s nothing better than a vicious murderer or sex offender getting their comeuppance in prison after being publicly held accountable at trial for their crimes.

Sometimes, though, even when “justice is served,” it’s still not good enough to make me feel like the perpetrator got what they deserved. One great example of this is the Golden State Killer case.

If you’re not familiar, the Golden State Killer case is a lengthy, horrendous case that spanned decades as Joseph James DeAngelo began by burglarizing homes around Northern California. He soon escalated to rape and eventually murder, ultimately burglarizing around 120 homes, raping 50, and murdering 13 people across the state of California from 1973 to 1986.

The case went unsolved until April of 2018, JUST THREE YEARS AGO, when he was finally apprehended after detectives used DNA data collected from GEDMatch, which is a DNA database that collects and compiles DNA data from sites like 23 and Me, Ancestry, and other similar sites. Comparing DNA collected when the crimes occurred, detectives were able to identify a relative who had submitted data to one of these sites, which eventually lead them to DeAngelo as a suspect.

Once they had him in their crosshairs, they were able to compare the DNA from the crime scene to DNA they were able to collect from a tissue DeAngelo had used and discarded. From there, it was confirmed that DeAngelo’s was a match to the crime scene DNA and that he was without a doubt, the Golden State Killer.

He was taken to trial and charged with his crimes, accepting a plea deal that took the death penalty off the table. He’s now serving multiple consecutive life sentences without the possibility of parole for his crimes. Which is all well and dandy…except for the fact that HE’S 75 YEARS OLD. He’s been married, has three daughters, and worked as a police officer and mechanic not only during the time of his crimes, but also afterwards as he built a life as a family man with his wife and children. He eventually retired and was living life as any retiree would at the time of his arrest.

Like, COME ON. For arguably one of the most prolific serial killer/rapists in America, he got to live out his life and while he’s behind bars now, for what? FOR WHAT?! It makes me so unimaginably angry that his victims have had to live for so long, knowing that their rapist was still out there, unknown and unidentified; he could have walked by them at the store and they would have never known it was him. I can’t imagine the terror and stress that would cause, not to mention the 13 PEOPLE HE MURDERED. And then just…went on living his life. With no consequences. Until he was 75 YEARS OLD. He got to live totally normally for such a long time, after destroying the lives of so many people. Tossing him in prison when he’s nearing the end of his life anyway and calling it justice would make me absolutely livid if I was one of his victims.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome that he was caught at all, and the DNA matching with GEDmatch that’s being utilized now is absolutely incredible, but the petty, revenge seeking side of me can’t get over the fact that this is all he gets for the immense terror he inflicted. Sure he’s being held accountable for his crimes finally, but he’s really not losing anything by spending his last few years in prison. His punishment seems so small compared to the crimes he committed, and it really doesn’t feel like justice at all to me.

A few other specific cases that get me fired up in my search for justice are some that I plan to write about eventually, but that I have to take the time to dive into in a way that doesn’t make me want to completely rip my hair out. The murders of Sylvia Likens and Zahra Baker are two that immediately come to mind, and Israel Keyes is another giant pile of trash that didn’t get even close to what he deserved. These cases all have a lot to unpack so just…stay tuned for those.

All of my past English teachers are going to want to crucify me here, because this is probably about to be a mish-mash of contradictory, stream of consciousness statements, but bear with me. Perhaps I’ll try to edit this for once to try and make the inner workings of my mind and my qualms with the justice system more cohesive…

Justice is something that’s hard to define and hard to carry out in a balanced and objective way, and I think this is part of the reason that even when “justice is served” according to the law, it can seem like it’s not enough in the eyes of society. Or in my eyes. Because I’m a petty person who wants revenge if someone proves to be a murderous piece of shit.

For example, in the past (and still in some parts of the world), theft could be punished by cutting off the thief’s hand. To me, and to most people, this seems incredibly extreme and unnecessary.

On the other hand, though (haha, get it?), I do think that banning “cruel and unusual punishment” was a bad move on the part of our founding fathers. When I say this, I’m sure some people will inevitably think I’m insane, but hear me out, even though I’m sure there will still be people who strongly disagree with me…probably most people to be honest…

To me, in cases where someone has tortured, raped, and murdered countless people, perhaps even children, life in prison isn’t enough. Especially when they readily admit to their crimes and show no remorse, life in prison isn’t NEARLY enough, and neither is the death penalty.

The death penalty is often seen as the most extreme sentence that can only be handed out for the most extreme, heinous crimes, but to me, that’s far too easy. It gives the perpetrator an easy out so that they don’t have to live with the consequences of the unimaginable pain and suffering they’ve caused. This is probably a hot take, especially in the liberal circles I run in, but I think those people deserve to be tortured. THAT would be justice to me.

NOW I HAVE TO CLARIFY. Part of the reason I’m still on the fence regarding the death penalty is the argument that “sometimes the system fails and you get the wrong person.” This is a completely fair and true argument. I’m not advocating for torturing someone that “we’re pretty sure” did it. I’m strictly talking about the people that, once caught, gladly give themselves up, proudly and without remorse for their crimes. Normally this would be the most depraved of serial killers, child molesters, etc. Like we’re talking the absolute SCUM OF THE EARTH. I think that for those people, “cruel and unusual punishment” is the only thing that will truly feel like justice; causing them the same pain and suffering that they caused for so many innocent people.

“BUT WAIT! If we do that, what makes us any better than them?!” you say. And I don’t have an answer for that. They’re bad and we’re not? We’re simply showing them what they’ve done to others? The Golden Rule, if you will? I really don’t know.

I fully recognize that this way of thinking brings up a whole host of ethical dilemmas; where does the line get drawn on the spectrum from “here’s a ticket for speeding” to “here’s a life of torture and confinement for whatever horrible crime against humanity you don’t regret committing?” I have no answer for this; let’s just put me in charge and I’ll address it on a case by case basis, Kristin for President 2024, vote for me and my “Let’s Torture Serial Killers” platform. Just kidding.

In all seriousness, though, when I say that these people should be tortured, I don’t necessarily mean that we should break out The Rack or The Iron Maiden or send someone in to flay them. Although in some cases…not a bad idea…just kidding, that’s a little too dark, even for me.

For example, if it were up to me, I would have some of these people in solitary confinement, in straight jackets, with nothing but their thoughts to take up the rest of their days. Force them to sit in absolute and endless BOREDOM and LONELINESS with no way out of it. Just in case hell doesn’t exist, let’s make them live in it while they’re still here.

“BUT THEN we have to pay for it with our tax dollars!” you all yell. YES I KNOW. Obviously it’s not the most ideal system, but neither is incarcerating someone at 75 for horrendous crimes, long after they’ve already been given the privilege of a life well lived.

As someone who seeks endless suffering and pain as penance for the most horrific crimes, it’s incredible to me when victims’ families or victims themselves forgive their assailants. Maybe it’s a character flaw, but I couldn’t imagine ever forgiving someone who tortures and/or murders one of my family members. It blows my mind when victims’ families address their loved ones’ murderers at trial and they don’t tell them that they hope that they rot in hell for the rest of eternity. I commend their strength, composure, and willpower to move on, but it could never be me.

I honestly don’t even know where I was going with this blog post other than to express my frustration with the fact that justice is so hard to serve in a way that feels sufficient, especially in many true crime cases that I learn about. Hearing a story about a child who’s endlessly tortured until finally being murdered, for example, feels like it needs a much more grand conclusion than, “…and now their murderer is in prison and may be eligible for parole in 9 years.” It’s just not fair, and YES I KNOW that life isn’t fair, but it’s one part of true crime that can really take a toll on you. It’s easy to keep your head up and keep bingeing cases when you know that the murderer really has to pay for their crimes in the end, but when that doesn’t happen, it feels so defeating.

As someone who believes so strongly in justice and holding people accountable for their actions, it can be challenging to stay optimistic and to have faith in the justice system. It makes it feel more like the “justice” system than the justice system. And while I don’t have any real answers on how to fix that (other than bringing back cruel and unusual punishment, Kristin Drew 2024, let’s go), I can’t help but feel like each case I share is helping to bring some sort of justice to the victims. Even if it’s just letting one more person know what a piece of shit their murderer was, that’s one more tiny drop of justice in the victim’s bucket as one more person learns their story.

Maybe one day we’ll develop some better system that doles out justice that really feels like JUSTICE. Until then, I’ll just have to keep writing.

REFERENCES AND OTHER STUFF

Morbid Podcast on the Galveston 11: Part 1 and Part 2 on Spotify

I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, about the hunt for the Golden State Killer, a miniseries on HBO

[catsandtruecrime]

The Tragic Case of Susan, Charlie, and Braden Powell

Stay away from guys with the last name Peterson (see Scott, Drew, and Michael).

Do not move to Puyallup, Washington (seriously, so many murders and disappearances happen there).

These are two things that the world of true crime has taught me to avoid. While today’s story isn’t about a man named Peterson, Puyallup is where our story about another wife murdering psycho starts and ends. I would consider this case one of “my” cases. Other true crime junkies know exactly what I’m talking about; “my” cases are the ones that I never stop thinking about. I want to share them with everyone I know and whether solved or unsolved, they live in my head rent free, as the kids would say.

Today’s story is neither solved or unsolved; it’s a bit weird in that way. While most people are confident that Susan Powell’s family will never see her again, her body has never been found, so she’s never been confirmed dead. With that said, though, the end of this story makes it pretty easy to assume that that’s the case and that Susan’s death can be attributed to her husband, Josh. But I’m getting ahead of myself, so lets start from the very beginning.

Susan Cox and Josh Powell both grew up in the Mormon community in Puyallup, Washington. Susan was born in 1981 and was one of four daughters. Her family remembers that she loved riding horses when she was younger, and spent a lot of her time singing in her school and church choirs.

When Susan was 18, she met Josh Powell at an event for young Mormons that they had both decided to attend. Their church regularly held services for congregations of young, single Mormons; it was as much a church service as it was a place to potentially meet your future spouse in their eyes.

Josh was 5 years older than Susan, making him 23 at the time that they met. He’s described by family and friends as being ambitious and confident, but also nerdy and awkward. Apparently Susan saw something in him, because after just meeting in October of 2000, the pair were engaged by December of the same year.

Susan and Josh Powell were married in April of 2001 and Susan quickly took on the role of the provider once they relocated to West Valley City, Utah near Salt Lake City; Josh was constantly in and out of jobs while Susan worked at the local branch of Wells Fargo in investments.

What seemed like a relatively happy marriage only seemed to become more picturesque once Susan and Josh had their two sons, Charlie in 2005, and Braden in 2007. While Susan was a doting mother who showed unconditional love for her boys, Josh was described as an “unattached dad” and Kiirsi Hellewell, Susan’s best friend, said in the 20/20 episode on Susan’s case, “Josh held Charlie when he wanted to show him off…he didn’t want to change diapers or bathe him…” It seemed to most people that unless his kids were making him look like a respectable, attentive, great father in the eyes of the public, Josh couldn’t care less about them.

Susan’s friends and family also described Josh as “controlling,” and Susan herself showed fear that Josh’s abusive tendencies could one day become her downfall. Before her disappearance in December of 2009 (we’ll get there…don’t worry…) Kiirsi eventually convinced Susan to meet with a divorce attorney after repeatedly expressing concerns about Josh’s controlling and manipulative behavior. Although Susan was the one making money for the family, Josh was the one who liked to spend; he regularly made extravagant purchases for himself, while monitoring and policing the purchases Susan wanted to make with her own money. As there was clear strife within their marriage, her attorney advised her to document her assets on video, which she did, along with documenting property damage that she attributed to one of Josh’s fits of rage.

Susan burned the video to a DVD which she then locked in a secret safety deposit box, along with a makeshift will that police later found when investigating her disappearance. In her will, Susan made several concerning statements, including, "I want it documented that there is extreme turmoil in our marriage" and, "If I die, it may not be an accident, even if it looks like one.”

On the night of Sunday, December 6th, 2009, JoVanna Owings, one of Josh and Susan’s friends from church, came over for dinner. JoVanna recounted that while she and Susan chatted and crocheted, Josh and the boys took to the kitchen to make everyone dinner. From Josh, who had never taken an interest in anything domestic, this act was seen as odd and out of character from everyone involved.

JoVanna also described that the way in which Josh cooked struck her as strange; he had decided to make pancakes for everyone, and JoVanna noticed that he made the pancakes one by one, and served everyone one by one. In the 20/20 special on Susan’s disappearance, JoVanna described how she and Susan ate their pancakes in the living room, while Josh and the boys ate in the kitchen. Kiirsi Hellewell points out that this was incredibly out of character and not a normal routine for the family at all. “That would  have been completely out of the ordinary. I’ve never, ever, ever seen them eat in the living room.”

Shortly after eating, Susan began to feel ill and decided to lay down to take a nap. JoVanna took that opportunity to leave for the night, and Josh followed JoVanna out, saying that he was going to take Charlie and Braden sledding for a bit. JoVanna was still sitting in her van in the Powells’ driveway when Josh and the boys left.

The next morning, on Monday, December 7th, 2009, Charlie and Braden didn’t show up to daycare, and Susan and Josh were both absent from their jobs. Naturally, everyone who knew the Powells became worried when they didn’t hear from anyone in the family that morning. Friends and family worried that the family may have fallen victim to carbon monoxide poisoning, and the police were called to perform a wellness check.

When they arrived, police entered the home to find no sign of a disturbance, and none of the Powell family members inside. They noted that Susan’s purse was on a table with her wallet and credit cards inside. Police also noted that there were two box fans running on high, pointed at wet spots on the living room carpet. There was no vehicle in the garage.

On the evening of Monday, December 7th, at about 5 pm, Josh finally showed up at his house with Charlie and Braden in tow. He explained that he had taken Charlie and Braden to go camping at Simpson Springs Campground, about two hours away from their home. They had left sometime between midnight and 12:30 am according to Josh. Keep in mind here…Charlie is 4 and Braden is 2…not a move from the world’s greatest dad, waking your toddlers up in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to go camping. That night, temperatures were below freezing and a blizzard was expected to bring 2-4 feet of snow throughout the day on Monday, beginning in the early morning hours.

When Josh and the boys returned, police questioned him regarding Susan’s whereabouts and they also searched the family’s van that Josh and the boys had returned in. Inside the van, they found Susan’s cell phone in the center console, as well as a generator, gas can, tarps, blankets, and a shovel. The SIM card was removed from Susan’s cell phone and Josh was unable to explain why he had it or why the SIM card was missing.

While Josh was at the police station being questioned on Monday night, police say that he quickly went from putting on an emotional show to entirely emotionless and unhelpful. Josh gave minimal information and asked no questions about his wife or whether the police had any leads. Later, Josh also refused to participate in any searches for Susan.

The same day, Charlie was also interviewed by police regarding the camping trip he had supposedly gone on with his father and brother. Charlie told the interviewing officer, “My dad came home, but mommy stayed at [the park]. She’s where the crystals are.”

In subsequent interviews over the years, Charlie would also say that “We can’t talk about Susan or camping,” and “We can only see Mommy if we go camping again.” Later, when questioned about a picture that he drew of his family in the car, Braden would say “Mommy’s in the trunk.”

After police searched the family home and seized the family’s van to search for evidence, Josh rented a car from the Salt Lake City International Airport; when he returned it 18 hours later, there were 807 additional miles on the odometer. To this day, no one knows where he went.

In subsequent days after Susan’s disappearance, friends and family of the Powells reported that Josh seemed completely disinterested in Susan’s case and didn’t seem to care at all whether she was found or not. Josh arrived late to one of the vigils held for Susan and then left almost immediately. Within weeks, on Friday, December 18th, 2009, Josh took Charlie and Braden back to Puyallup to stay with his father, Steve, “for the holidays.” He had also cashed out all of the couple’s accounts and intended to rent out their West Valley home.

While Josh was living with Steve (spoiler alert, they never went back to West Valley, Utah, they just kept living with Steve), Josh’s sister, Jennifer, worked with police in an attempt to get Josh on tape confessing to Susan’s murder. Jennifer always believed that Josh was the one who had caused Susan’s disappearance and went to visit him while wearing a wire. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to secure a confession from Josh, and Steve kicked her out while calling her names for not supporting her brother.

On August 24th, 2010, Josh and Steve appeared on an ABC interview where Josh was distant; Steve, on the other hand, ended up commandeering the interview when he claimed that he and Susan had had a sexual relationship. As police began investigating this claim, they found that it was half true; Steve had indeed had a sexual view of Susan, but she wanted nothing to do with him.

At the beginning of their marriage, Susan and Josh lived with Steve for a short time. Susan’s family and friends reported that she had mentioned numerous times that she thought Steve was creepy and how uncomfortable he made her. At the time that they lived with him, Steve was never without his video camera.

I bet you’re wondering what could possibly be so interesting that you’d want to be filming at all times. Well, when you’re obsessed with your daughter in law (and Steve was OBSESSED with Susan) you don’t want to miss a moment! When police were eventually able to gain access to Steve’s computers and videos that he had taken over the years, they found hours of footage of Susan, both filmed with and without her knowledge. Some videos included videos taken through cracks of barely open doors, videos underneath of bathroom doors, and videos focused on too conveniently placed mirrors that gave views into other rooms. Steve also had videos documenting things that he had stolen from Susan, including her discarded trash and clothes that Steve had taken from her room. Steve also read Susan’s journals and documented himself leafing through them as well.

Steve also wrote and recorded songs both about and dedicated to Susan (who, again, is his DAUGHTER IN LAW in case you forgot) that he uploaded to a website he created. At one point when they were left alone in a car together, Steve told Susan that he was falling in love with her. Susan told him that she wasn’t interested and that his behavior made her uncomfortable. Steve would continue this behavior until Susan and Josh moved to their house in West Valley, Utah.

As touched on briefly, police were eventually able to gain permission to raid Steve’s house once it became apparent that evidence about Susan’s disappearance may be hiding in his home. They were mainly looking for Susan’s diaries that Josh had taken with him when he left their West Valley home, but they were also able to take all of Steve’s computers and videos that he had stockpiled over the years. On his computers, police also found photos and videos he had taken of the underage girls that lived next door to Steve. He was charged with various things, including voyeurism and one count of child pornography, and was sentenced to 5 years in prison.

After it was established that Charlie and Braden were being raised in an objectively terrible environment with their obviously incredibly creepy and dangerous grandfather, Charlie and Braden were placed in state custody, and then placed with Chuck and Judy Cox, Susan’s parents, a few days later. In an effort to regain custody of his children, Josh began renting a house in Puyallup and was eventually granted supervised visitation with Charlie and Braden.

On February, 1, 2012, during Josh’s custody hearing, West Valley police revealed that in initial searches of the Powells’ West Valley home, they had found a number of disturbing things on Josh’s computer, including depictions of beastiality, incest, and simulated child pornography. As he should have been, Josh was denied custody, and was also ordered to undergo a psychosexual evaluation and polygraph in order to prove that he wasn’t a danger to his children.

Over the next four days, Josh Powell reportedly donated children’s toys to the Salvation Army, and purchased two 5 gallon gas canisters.

Chuck and Judy Cox reported that on February 5th, 2012, Charlie and Braden insisted that they didn’t want to go on the supervised visit that was scheduled for that day. Nonetheless, social worker, Elizabeth Griffin Hall, picked the children up at Chuck and Judy’s house, and took them to the house that Josh was renting for their visit. Elizabeth describes that, as children often are, the two young boys were two steps ahead of her as they ran to greet their father who was standing at a door to the house. When they ran up to him, Josh pulled the boys inside and quickly slammed the door in Elizabeth’s face, locking it immediately.

What came next is possibly one of the most absolutely INFURIATING 911 calls I’ve ever heard in my 24 years of life. There’s no way to accurately describe the absolute incompetency that you hear in this call, so I just ask that you listen to it for yourself, here.

You can also find a brief transcript of the call here.

At the end of her first nearly 7 minute long 911 call which is mostly spent with the dispatcher questioning Elizabeth about insignificant details, the dispatcher tells Elizabeth that he’ll send a deputy to her location. Elizabeth asks how long it will be and the dispatcher replies, “I don’t know, they have to respond to emergency, life threatening situations first.”

At this point, I’m absolutely SEETHING and have no words to describe how enraged this particular part of this case makes me. In case you hadn’t guessed, this was indeed an emergency, life threatening situation as Elizabeth tried her hardest to explain to this dispatcher.

Inside the locked house, Josh was murdering his two children, Charlie who was 7, and Braden who was 5. As he pulled them into the house, Elizabeth had heard him tell Charlie, “I have a surprise for you.” Not only did he murder his wife (because come on), but this sniveling, absolutely TRASH excuse for a human, saw his two little boys running up to him that day, welcomed them into his house, telling them he had a surprise for them, and then struck them each multiple times in their little heads and necks with a hatchet. When this failed to kill them, Josh poured gasoline on their bodies and all over his house, which he then lit, causing an explosion.

Elizabeth then called 911 again and ran to Josh’s neighbors trying to find someone to help her get inside to save the boys. When firefighters arrived, they were able to put out the fire and found Josh, Charlie, and Braden inside the house, all dead from smoke inhalation. Charlie and Braden’s autopsies revealed that gasoline was not only covering them, but was also in their lungs, suggesting that they had inhaled some of it as their father doused them in it prior to lighting all of them on fire.

Investigators interviewed for the 20/20 special on the case described how Josh had been backed into a corner so to speak. He was looking at not only a psychosexual evaluation, but also a polygraph test where Susan would inevitably be brought up. Charlie and Braden were getting older and more difficult to silence, especially when he had limited access to them. They suggested that Josh knew that he was at the end of the line when it came to Susan, and killing the boys was his way of destroying the remaining evidence from his crime.

It’s believed that on the night of December 6th, 2009, Josh may have poisoned Susan, which is why he made each person’s pancakes individually, and why Susan fell ill shortly after eating dinner. That night, Josh likely took the boys and Susan’s body to Simpson Springs, where he likely dumped her in an abandoned mine. At a work party in the past, Josh had reportedly told a coworker that “the best place to dispose of a body is down a mine shaft.” With over 10,000 abandoned mines in Utah, it’s nearly impossible to determine where exactly she may be.

It’s also believed that Steve most likely either had something to do with Susan’s murder, or he knew the whole story and could have lead police to her body. Steve died in a hospital in Tacoma, Washington in 2018, one year after being released from prison.

Chuck and Judy Cox were awarded $32 million in August of 2020 in a civil case that they filed against the Washington State Department of Social and Health Services for negligence that led to Charlie and Braden’s deaths at the hands of their father. They were awarded $16 million for each of the boys, which Chuck says he intends to use to honor his grandchildren, saying, “I intend to use the award to try and help other people, [so] that we can save more children.”

All in all, that’s the end of the story of Susan, Charlie, and Braden Powell. This case is one that hits me so hard because it’s so completely senseless. Josh Powell and his father were both horrible shit stains on this world, and while the world is better without them in it, they managed to take three wonderful people with them for absolutely no reason other than their own selfishness and hatred. It hurts my heart to know that Charlie and Braden died such horrible, tragic deaths at the hands of someone who was supposed to always love and protect them. It hurts my heart to know that Susan still hasn’t been found and that her family still doesn’t have closure. It hurts my heart to know that while Charlie and Braden are buried next to each other, their mother is still out there somewhere and will maybe never be returned to her boys.

I think in every case, I try to find some source of hope, or some good that may come out of it one day. I think this is one case that makes that so incredibly difficult, but I do still hold out hope that Susan may be found one day. I really, really hope that she is so that her family can finally have answers and so that they can finally lay her to rest beside her children. I hope that Chuck and Judy and the rest of Susan’s family will be able to find peace in their journey to help other children and families in Susan, Charlie, and Braden’s names. And I hope that Josh and Steve Powell burn in the epitome of the “fire and brimstone” Catholic version of Hell for the rest of eternity. If anyone deserves that, it’s those two evil fuckwads.

REFERENCES, SOURCES AND OTHER READINGS

ABC News, “Where is Susan Powell?”

KUTV, “Timeline: What we know in the years since Susan Cox Powell went missing”

ABC 20/20 on Hulu, “If Something Happens to Me…”

Crime Junkie’s Episode, “Murdered: The Powell Family”

That Chapter on Youtube, “The Case of Susan Cox Powell”

And also there’s like a million other articles and documentaries out there on this case…

[catsandtruecrime]

Your MLM is a pyramid scheme, not a “small business,” hun.

Hey, girlie! I saw your profile and wanted to reach out to you! I was wondering if you’d be interested in learning a little bit about a terrible business opportunity that’s more than likely not going to make you THOUSANDS every month working from home like you were told it would! It’s called Beachbody/Monat/Color Street/Scentsy/HerbalLife/ItWorks/LuLaRoe/Mary Kay/doTERRA/(insert any one of thousands of MLMs here) and you’re making a huge mistake.

Along with true crime and chameleons, one of my latest 2020 obsessions has been MLM companies, how they operate, and how negatively they impact most people who become involved with them. At the beginning of the COVID pandemic, I found myself with loads of extra time like many other people did. Rather than finding a new hobby or taking up exercising, though, I found myself doing deep dives into the world and culture of MLMs that I’ve seen so many people I know become entangled in.

Throughout this post, I’ll reference a couple of figures, which you can find in a Google Doc here.

Part of the reason I became so interested in learning more about MLMs is because I very narrowly avoided being caught in one. My freshman or sophomore year of college, I went to a Pampered Chef party with my mom and her coworkers, and the Pampered Chef rep almost had me convinced that “investing” roughly $500 (that I didn’t have) to sell Pampered Chef products would be an awesome opportunity that would have me earning that $500 back, plus more, in no time.

Now don’t get me wrong, Pampered Chef does have some pretty handy kitchen gadgets that I love! I grew up with a kitchen stocked full of Pampered Chef products that were so unique and impossible to find anywhere else. Never will I allege that all MLMs have terrible products that have no value. While this is true for many MLMs, there are others like Pampered Chef and Tupperware that have been around forever, in part because they do truly have some great products that the business can stand on.

But let me break this down. At the time I was being recruited, I was a full time college student. I had maybe $1000 in my bank account (those were the days) and the only reason I had that much was because of the $1500 or so that was given to me and paid for with my student loans in order to buy books, supplies, and groceries for the entire semester. I didn’t have a job or income, and yet I was being encouraged to take half of that money and purchase a Pampered Chef starter kit in order to start selling their products as a side hustle.

“You’ll make that back in no time! You’ll be able to pay for school with all the money you’ll make,” I was told.

Sounds great on the surface, but think about that for a second. I was a full time college student. Living in a dorm. All of my friends also lived in the dorms on campus. We lived off of dining hall pizza and ramen. Who was I going to be selling kitchen gadgets to??

In reality, the consultant just wanted me as part of her downline, or the people who work under you in an MLM. As part of her downline, she would get a percentage of all of the sales I made, as well as a portion of the $500 starter kit she was encouraging me to buy. She likely knew that as a college student, there was no way I was going to make any substantial amount of money selling Pampered Chef products, even with a mom who loves them.

This gets into just one of the numerous problems with companies who operate with an MLM format, and that’s the predatory nature of many MLM companies and their sellers.

At this point, you can’t really say that you actively use social media if you haven’t received a message on Instagram or Facebook from someone you haven’t talked to in years, saying something like “Hey, hun! I saw your post and had to reach out! I don’t know if my new business will be a fit for you or not, but would you be open to learning how to make money in a home business and earn a little extra income? I’d love to talk to you some more about this awesome opportunity!”

Some of you may be going into your Instagram messages now, thinking, “Wait a second, didn’t I get that exact message? How did she know that?” In reality, this is just a string of buzzwords that MLM “huns” like to use when cold messaging potential recruits.

In countless team calls that I’ve watched on Youtube from various MLMs, sellers are encouraged to simply copy and paste a generic pitch and send it to anyone and everyone that they can find. Why take the time to personalize a message when you might not get a reply anyway? Just use the same one for everyone!

At first glance, it can be intriguing and you may want to hear more about what the person has to say. By keeping it vague, the recipient may think, “Hmm, earning a little more money from home would be awesome…and since she was looking at my profile, she must think I’d be good at it!”

99% of the time, though, you’re not the only one they’re messaging. That’s why MLM sellers typically use phrases like, “Hey, girl!” “Hi, girlie!” or the now infamous, “Hey, hun!” Using the same message over and over makes it considerably easier to message the greatest number of people in the least amount of time.

It’s also important to note that a majority of the time, the seller isn’t just trying to get you to buy the products they’re selling. They’re also trying to get you to sell the products, too, to become part of their downline. In my experience, people involved in MLMs tend to promote the company’s products on their general page and public timeline, but any direct communication tends to center around the idea that “you should be selling this stuff too.”  

Let’s think about that for a second, because this is one HUGE way that MLM companies differ from any normal company. Consider any legitimate small business, like a local bakery for example.

Of course the person who owns the bakery is going to promote their business to their friends and family, and they’ll encourage people in the community to think of them the next time they need a birthday cake, custom cupcakes, personalized cookies, or any other delicious sweet treat. If they know that your grandma’s 70th birthday is coming up, they might even message you something like, “Hey there! Hope you’re doing well! I just wanted to reach out since I know that your grandma’s birthday is coming up soon! I just started a bakery in town, and birthday cakes are one of my specialties. Feel free to reach out if you need any baked goods for the party and I’d be happy to discuss my rates with you! Have a great day!”

What the bakery owner IS NOT going to do, is reach out and say, “Hey, girl! I just started a bakery in town and it’s going so well for me! You should look into starting your own bakery, too! Let me know if you’re interested in learning more about starting your own bakery, it’s such a great business opportunity!”

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know a ton about economics; I wasn’t a business student and I had to take Economics 101 twice in college. Even I know, though, that that’s not how a market works. When you’re selling a product, you don’t want MORE PEOPLE in the same area selling the same product. That creates competition for you and saturates the market with too many sellers.

To put it simply, if you have 100 potential customers and you’re the only one selling a product, all 100 of those customers are going to come to you to purchase said product. If you recruit 4 other people to ALSO sell that product, though, your 100 potential customers dwindles down to 75…50….20…maybe even less, as your 100 potential customers inevitably start buying from the other sellers for whatever reason. By recruiting additional sellers, you’re creating your own competition in any normal business model as you’re saturating the market with one type of product that everyone is suddenly selling.

In an MLM business, though, you’re not creating competition; you’re creating your downline. Each MLM varies in compensation percentages, and complex compensation plans vary greatly from MLM to MLM, but one thing they all have in common is that recruitment is the goal; when you recruit someone to sell the products, they work underneath you in your downline.

Usually, recruiting someone involves selling them a “starter kit” which you make commission on, and you also get a percentage of that consultant’s sales. It’s impossible not to see the pyramid model that’s created here.

Sure, you’re all selling the products, but of course you’re also going to want to recruit new people to work for the company since that means you’d be getting a portion of their sales as well. Through recruiting more sellers, you get to reap the benefits of their sales, meaning that you’re making money on sales that you’re not making; you’re doing less work, and making more money the more people you recruit, and then those people recruit more people, and so on and so forth.

I’m going to be transparent here and say that math is NOT my strong suit. Anyone who knows me knows this, and it’s only getting worse the older I get. As I think about this, my brain says that if you recruit two people, who each recruit two people, who each recruit two people, you suddenly have…uh…a lot of people working in your downline.

For the more visual people like myself, we can reference Figure 1 in the attached files. Notice the shape? Even if there are 50 people above you, you’re now making a percentage of the sales of 14 other people in your downline. As they continue to recruit people, the pyramid grows.

This is how we end up with income disclosure statements like those that we see for just about every MLM (that releases them, anyway). As the money from any sale flows up the pyramid, the people at the bottom make the least while the people at the top make the most.

“But that’s how it works for any business!” most huns will protest. While this may be true, it’s not due to the business model, and it’s not at the cost of those at the bottom. Of course company presidents and CEOs make more money than those at the bottom of the company totem pole, but that’s because they have more responsibilities and have contributed greatly to the growth of said business many cases.

Take Maui Jim Sunglasses, where I work, for example. I work in customer service, which is one of the lower positions at the company. My daily job is assisting customers with getting their sunglasses repaired, answering shopping questions, and generally providing support for our customers, whatever that may mean that day.

Our CEO, meanwhile, does infinitely more to keep the company afloat. From endless negotiation meetings with our manufacturers, other sunglass company heads, and managers of our international offices across the world, to…I honestly don’t even know what else, our CEO plays a major role in ensuring that we’re able to stay competitive in the sunglass market while preparing the entire company for the future given current trends and sales data. Of course he has other people supporting him and assisting with this, but he has knowledge and experience I can only dream of having. Of course he makes WAY more than I do, and he deserves it for running the third largest sunglass company in the world!

This is not the case with MLMs. The people at the bottom are the ones doing the hard work. They’re the ones with their feet on the ground, selling (usually overpriced, usually not super great) products in an increasingly oversaturated market. They’re the ones doing the work, while the people in their upline are the ones making more and more money the more work their downlines do.

This is illustrated through the fact that in most MLMs, roughly 90% of consultants (usually more) are in the bottom tier of the company, making the least money, while less than 1% are in the top tier, making the six or seven figure salaries MLM huns promise you’ll be making in no time.

While most people rarely make any considerable, much less livable, wage in an MLM, what’s even worse is that many people actually end up losing more money than they make when they join an MLM. This is largely due to the fact that MLM consultants are also a huge portion of the MLM’s customers. Kiki Chanel, who makes videos exposing MLM companies on Youtube, describes this as the “pay to play” model most MLMs use.

One of the MLMs most infamously guilty of this is LuLaRoe, which is is an MLM based around the sale of clothing. Consultants in LuLaRoe and many other MLMs are required to keep an inventory of items to sell, which they have to purchase themselves.

As outlined in LuLaRoe’s FAQ on their site, to become a seller, you start with an inventory of 65 articles of clothing for $499. Of course, there’s a catch, though. When you purchase said inventory, you don’t get to pick the pieces from a catalog, and you never do. You purchase a package where you choose a number of each style, size, and quantity, with style here referring to the article of clothing, such as t-shirts, dresses, leggings, etc.

As a LuLaRoe consultant, you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit with regards to inventory. On Kate’s Closet, a blog by a LuLaRoe consultant, Kate answers questions I’m sure you’re all wondering about this model of business!

“What if I end up with something that I can’t sell?”

Well, Kate says, if you can’t sell something, that doesn’t mean that it’s not cute! It just means that you haven’t found the right customer for it, yet. Kate says that this is the beauty of LuLaRoe; if you were able to pick your own prints from a catalog, you’d only order what YOU like! Even if you think something is ugly, someone else will love it!

Kate, I’d like to refer you to figure 2. I’ve already admitted that I’m no economist or mathematician. I’m also not a fashionista, but…yikes. And I think most people I know would have the same reaction to these leggings, which are the “hot item” from LuLaRoe.

Beyond being stuck with some less than attractive items that I’m sure are hard to sell in most circles, consultants are also required to purchase at least 33 products each month and are required to sell at least 1 each month to stay active. Add to this that most LuLaRoe pieces have an MSRP of $18-$65, it’s easy to see how many consultants find themselves quickly drowning in pieces that they’re not able to sell.

As evidenced in LuLaRoe’s income disclosure statement (available here), the majority of LuLaRoe consultants (72.5%) either made less than $5,000 profit, or lost money in the business in 2019. Included in that, are the 19.4% of consultants who made $0 profit, or lost up to $10,000 or more. This also doesn’t take non-product expenses into account, which would be the costs for supplies like hangers, storage bins, mannequins, other display equipment, shipping, advertising, and travel expenses.

Almost every MLM (I’m not saying EVERY MLM because there are literally hundreds of them out there) operates on a similar model. You have to either sell and/or buy X amount of product each month in order to stay “active” as a seller.

As a result, you end up seeing many consultants purchasing their OWN inventory, or purchasing the inventory of other sellers. Facebook groups exist for most MLMs where all of the members are sellers, and they’ll essentially trade sales; in LuLaRoe for example, this might look like “I’ll buy a pair of your leggings if you buy a pair of mine.”

Suddenly, you end up with money exchanged primarily within the company; your sellers on the bottom are selling each other their inventory, and their money earned through the company flows back up through each upline, instead of coming in from outside sources.

This turns the company into a closed market, where the people on the bottom are basically just giving their money to the people above them in order to stay part of the company, and this is where MLMs start to look even more like pyramid schemes.

Traditionally, pyramid schemes involved no products, and only involved the exchange of money. For example, “You give me a dollar to join my club, and then you find two people to give you a dollar each to join. Congratulations! You just made a dollar.” Of course it’s much more complex than that in practice and involves MUCH more money, but it’s not difficult to see the parallels here.

With pyramid schemes outlawed, enter the MLM business model, squeezing right through the loophole formed by the fact that they do technically sell products that anyone can buy, even if it is mostly their own employees in many cases.

Aside from the inherent issues with this business model, many MLMs also have products that aren’t that great, from products that are just low quality, to products that border on being straight up harmful.

LuLaRoe, for example, has come under fire for the low quality of their items, and a quick “LuLaRoe quality” Google search will direct you to countless articles and complaints, even from consultants, of LuLaRoe clothing being extremely thin and poorly made, smelling of mildew and mold, or arriving with holes.

Scentsy is another MLM with products that I personally really liked…until I found out that you can get almost identical wax warmers and melts for half the price and the same quality at Walmart.

Other MLMs like HerbalLife, Young Living, Medifast and Plexus have received backlash for the negative effects users have seen from their supplements, shakes, teas, and other ingestible things. Many of these companies use weight loss, digestive health, and cleanses as their gimmick, and customers have reported sickness and diarrhea as a result of using products from these “health and wellness” MLMs.

“That’s how you know it’s working!” say the huns. Again, I’m not an economist, I’m not a mathematician, I’m not a fashion expert, and I’m not a doctor, but when you use adjectives like “brownie batter” (and not the good kind…) and “white pants approved” to describe the products you’re selling, something tells me they’re probably not the best for your body.

Monat is another MLM that’s been making its rounds on my feeds recently. I know a few people who are Monat distributors, so I see all kinds of claims that Monat products will repair your split ends, make your hair grow 37 feet in just two weeks, and make it as strong and shiny as a stallion’s mane.

What they don’t tell you, is that Monat is on thin ice right now with the Attorney General, as hundreds of customers have reported painful burns, balding, hair loss, and devastating damage after using Monat’s products.

“That’s your hair detoxing!” Monat huns assure their customers. Sadly, though, as you may be guessing, that’s not at all true. Scalp burns and extreme hair loss are not part of a “hair detox.”

While Monat has refuted claims of damage and injury after usage of their products, hundreds of people have experienced the negative effects of using Monat products, and the company has been sued numerous times by countless people for the damage the products have caused.

Part of what makes me so passionately against MLMs like Monat, Beachbody, and the countless “health and wellness” MLMs is that these in particular have a unique opportunity to target women who are seeking to feel “better.”

Beachbody coaches have been notorious for targeting women who have just had a baby, who have illnesses, or who don’t fit the image of the “ideal Instagram” body type. Coaches message these women, promising that they have the perfect way for them to shed a few extra pounds so that they can be the best (read, skinniest) versions of themselves!

The toxic culture and beauty ideals of our society are a whole other issue entirely, but many MLMs use that to their advantage, promising the perfect shakes, workouts, hair and skin care, makeup, and supplements to make you perfect.

Not only do most MLMs target vulnerable women to sell products to, but vulnerable women are especially easy to rope into joining these get rich quick MLM schemes. Thinking about the people I know who have joined MLMs, most have one thing in common; they joined when they were struggling either financially or emotionally, or they joined when they were otherwise at a low or challenging point in their lives.

If you’re in college, recently divorced, recently laid off, in debt, a stay at home mom, a military wife, or independent at a young age, you’re a great target for MLM recruiters.

Thinking about most MLMs, consultants tend to overwhelmingly be women, and when I picture an MLM seller in my head, I think of one of my peers who had just dropped out of college and wasn’t sure where she wanted to go next in life. I think of my old coworker who was 24 with two kids that she would do anything for. I think of my old classmate who’s now married and trying to put herself through school. I think of the friend of a friend who recently got diagnosed with a debilitating illness and is looking for a way to supplement her income to pay her inevitably growing healthcare bills.

All of these young women got involved with MLMs as a way to make money and improve the quality of live for themselves and their families, but I would bet money that they’re not getting what they bargained for.

In a study by Jon Taylor for the FTC, 99% of MLM participants actually end up losing money, rather than making money. He explains that this is because, “without full-time and long-sustained effort, MLM participants cannot build and maintain a large enough downline to meet expenses, and therefore do not profit.” Taylor points out that you can confirm this yourself by looking at income disclosure statements provided by the companies themselves.

“But wait!” I see you wondering, “why would the companies publish that information if it’s really that hard to succeed with them?”

The answer is that they don’t want to get sued when 99% of their employees end up losing money, despite the fact that they were promised that they would be making thousands right out of the gate. Some Beachbody and Monat consultants have even gone so far as to include a disclaimer in their posts about their MLM. In fact, you can grab Beachbody’s right from their website, under their coach resources!

“Team Beachbody® does not guarantee any level of success or income from the Team Beachbody Coach Opportunity. Each Coach's income depends on his or her own efforts, diligence, and skill. See our Statement of Independent Coach Earnings for the most recent information on the actual incomes of all our Coaches.”

Don’t mind if I do, Beachbody! (See Figure 3)

Not including expenses, 77.3% of coaches in 2019 made an average of $427 for the entire year. The next 18.3% of coaches (Emerald Coach rank) averaged a whopping $3,086 for the year. That means that 95.6% of people selling Beachbody shakes and workouts made an average of less than $4,000 for the whole year of 2019.

Take into account the fact that most Beachbody coaches are expected to constantly be messaging people, recruiting, selling shakes, or participating in team calls, and the “business opportunity” that was marketed as “a side hustle you can do in your free time” starts to look less and less appealing.

Most MLMs have income disclosure statements available, and if they don’t, that should just be another red flag that maybe it’s not the best business opportunity; you would never take any other job without knowing how much you would be making at said job.

As I’ve continued to learn more and more about MLMs and the damage they can do to a person’s finances and personal relationships, the more passionate I’ve become about educating others about the dangers of joining an MLM. Recruiters tend to grab you when you’re the most susceptible to suggestions to join, so it’s important to look for the signs the next time a hun approaches you with an awesome business opportunity.

According to the FTC, you may be dealing with an MLM if…

Recruiting of participants is unlimited in an endless chain of empowered and motivated recruiters recruiting recruiters.

Advancement in a hierarchy of multiple levels of “distributors” is achieved by recruitment, rather than by appointment.

Ongoing purchases (products, sales “tools,” etc.) by “distributors” are encouraged in order for them to be eligible for commissions and to advance in the business ("pay to play").

The company pays commissions and/or bonuses to more than five levels of “distributors.”

For each sale, company payout for each upline participant equals or exceeds that for the person actually selling the product, creating an inadequate incentive to sell products directly and an excessive incentive to recruit.

In the end, it’s always important to do your research about any job, but it’s especially important to do so if your job offer begins with, “Hey, hun!”

Sources, links, and other readings:

“31 Simple Network Marketing Prospecting Scripts – 2020 Update” aka, Phrases to look for that mean “This is an MLM.”

Kate’s Closet LuLaRoe Blog

4 Things LuLaRoe Sellers Say About the Stress and Cost of Their Job

Attorney general cracks down on Monat hair care claims in wake of 13 Investigation

The Case (for and) against Multi-level Marketing by Jon M. Taylor for the FTC

FTC’s 5 MLM Red Flags by Jon M. Taylor

The Finance Guy for an economic take and breakdown on the numbers for the most popular MLMs

Megathread of MLM Companies

IsThisAnMLM.com

Kiki Chanel on Youtube

[catsandtruecrime]

Historical True Crimes: Jonestown, and Why We Need to Stop Using the Phrase “Drinking the Kool-Aid”

The case of Jonestown is one that’s shockingly unknown to many young people today. I had personally never heard of this case until I was making my way through the Casefile podcast and I finally decided to dive into the episode titled, “Case 60: Jonestown (Part 1).” The description for the episode read “You may think you know the story, but do you…”

“Um…I don’t think I do know this story…” I thought, as soon as I read the description. I wracked my brain, trying to think of cases I’d heard before.

Jonestown…Jonestown…that sounds kind of familiar I think? Clearly it’s a town where something bad happened. I ran through my mental list of “Mass Shootings That Have Occurred in My Lifetime.” Aurora, Orlando, San Bernardino, Las Vegas, Sandy Hook….nope, no Jonestown there.

I pressed play and Casefile’s standard disclaimer filled my headphones. “Our stories deal with serious, and often distressing incidents. If you feel at any time that you need support, please contact your local crisis center. For suggested phone numbers for confidential support, please see the show notes on your app, or on our website.”

There was a pause, and then something that I had never heard from the Anonymous Host before.

“This series on Jonestown deals with horrific events. The series deals with mass murder and suicide of men, women, and children, as well as other abuses. The episodes are graphic and distressing, especially episode 3. It will not be suitable for all listeners. Please use your discretion.”

Distressing these episodes were, but most distressing was the fact that I had no idea what Jonestown even was before listening to them. At Jonestown, America saw the greatest loss of civilian life in a single event until 9/11 occurred. Many of us vividly remember the tragedy of 9/11, but the tragedy of Jonestown has fallen by the wayside, and is almost even mocked in a way, by the widespread use of the phrase, “drinking the Kool-Aid.”

After I heard about Jonestown for the first time, I wanted to tell everyone about it. So here is me doing just that.

In short, Jonestown was a compound populated by a church-turned-cult, led by Jim Jones. Jones was born in Indiana in 1931, and grew up in a troubled household. His father was a disabled World War 1 veteran, and his mother was an outspoken factory worker, who was rarely home. As a result, Jones spent a lot of time alone in his younger years.

Noticing that little Jim was often playing outside by himself, a neighbor decided to invite him to church with her one day. At her evangelical Nazarene church, Jones found a sense of belonging for the first time. When he looked at the preacher, he saw someone to look up to, not because of his faith, but because of what the preacher inspired in others; the preacher was loved, adored, and respected by his congregation in a way that Jones wished he could be.

Eventually, Jones branched out to other religious denominations as well, and began going to their various churches. Jones was especially intrigued by pentecostal churches, as he enjoyed the theatrics and faith healings that these churches often offered.

By the time he was 10, Jones had decided that he wanted to be a preacher, and he was practicing on his friends and pets whenever he could. Eventually, he began preaching in lower income black neighborhoods, and he tended to focus on social justice and inequality.

*insert record scratch here* Time to pause the story for a moment. Knowing that Jones would be the one to eventually head the cult that became Jonestown, it’s important to discuss how cults work. We all like to think that we would never join a cult and that we’d be able to see what’s happening before we were to get sucked in.

Cults, though, tend to prey on the disadvantaged. Whether it’s due to poverty, racism, or religion, people who join cults tend to be those that are excluded from “the rest of us” in some way, and they’re people who are searching for acceptance and belonging.

Jones was coming into his own during the 40s, 50s, and 60s, during a time of intense civil unrest and mounting racial tensions in America. On top of that, there was also the imminent threat of nuclear war, which absolutely terrified many Americans.

With that information, and with the scene set, back to our regularly scheduled programming…

It’s largely questioned whether or not Jones actually believed in the need for equality, or whether he was just REALLY GOOD at honing his message to effectively target the people that he knew he could rope into joining him. He certainly knew how to speak and he had mastered the rhetoric that would grip people most tightly, dropping the ideas of desegregation, equality and social justice on the ground, small pieces of candy leading them into his gingerbread house in the middle of a Guyanese jungle, where they would ultimately meet their demise.

But I’m getting ahead of myself…Jones really began building his congregation when he was 21. Initially, he began preaching at a Methodist church in Bloomington, Indiana. When he began calling for desegregation and racial integration between churches, though, the Methodist church’s congregation (made of 100% rich white people) said, “Um…yeah, no thanks, dude.” So Jones said, “Well okay, then, I don’t need you anyway,” and he started recruiting people to form his own congregation, which came to be known as The People’s Temple.

Eventually, Jones became a sort of civil rights icon at the time. He preached in black neighborhoods and welcomed black citizens into his church with open arms. As Jones felt his steam building, he started abusing amphetamines and other drugs, which gave him the energy to visit potential worshippers and preach at all hours of the day and night.

With the energy came some more negative side effects, however. Jones became increasingly paranoid and was terrified at the prospect of a nuclear war. He had an intense fear of abandonment and regularly threatened anyone who tried to leave his congregation after they had joined.

As he continued to build his congregation, he shifted his messaging after reading through the entirety of the Bible. Jones paid particular attention to any negative events or contradictions as he read, ultimately coming to the conclusion that God will protect no one. Jones began telling his congregation that he was their only savior, and that he would be able to do more for them and protect them better than God ever would.

In 1963, Jones urged his congregation to move to Redwood Valley in California, claiming that they would be safe from nuclear war once there. Around this time, Jones and his congregation also began crusades, where they would take busses around the country, stopping along the way to hold events where Jones would preach, oftentimes in low income, minority areas.

During these crusade events, Jones would perform “miraculous” faith healings, in which he would appear to fix ailments and injuries. What the congregation didn’t know, though, was that all of these “healings” were staged.

In one example, Jones had one of his aides pose as an attendee; she sat in a wheelchair with a cast on her leg, appearing to have broken it and was unable to walk as a result. Jones approached the “injured woman” and willed her leg to heal, cutting off her cast and pulling her up from her seat. To attendees, it appeared that this woman had just been granted the ability to not only walk, but run down the aisles, all thanks to Jones.

Jones was also well known for wearing sunglasses no matter where he was. This wasn’t because Jones cared deeply about his eye health, though. They also served a couple of other purposes, like hiding his eyes from giving away his emotions or showing what he was really looking at. For example, when new members would come to his masses, his aides would take their names and phone numbers under the guise of needing a way to contact them for future events.

In reality, his aides would call people’s houses and would sometimes even go so far as to travel to their house and sift through their trash, essentially doing recon on their new members and gathering information about their lives. At the next mass, they would slip Jones a piece of paper with specific details about particular people. Reading from behind his sunglasses, he would call them out by name and reveal details about their lives that he (supposedly) couldn’t possibly have known. He claimed that he had ESP and that he was a prophet, hence why he seemed to “just know” things about his partitioners.

Jones started organizing fake assassination attempts on himself as well; at a time when notable civil rights icons like Martin Luther King Jr. were being assassinated, Jones needed to create the illusion that he was just as important as they were; he told his followers that there were countless people and organizations that wanted him dead. He also used this as an excuse to begin testing his followers’ loyalty.

Jones and his inner circle would write false declarations of child abuse, sexual assault, and even murder on behalf of Jones’s followers. They would be forced to sign the declarations, or else they would be ridiculed and beaten by other members of the church. If anyone wanted to leave at any point, Jones had a signed declaration on file for the person, stating that they had committed some crime, which he could hold over their heads and use to ruin their lives if they left him. He also had his followers sign blank pieces of paper so that he had access to their signature and could make it appear that they had signed just about anything he needed them to.

According to Julia Scheeres in the Sword and Scale podcast episode on Jonestown (Episode 50), Jones was “fascinated with the idea of control, and he wanted to see how far he could push people.” It was around this time in the 70s that Jones became obsessed with the idea of revolutionary suicide. He took the idea from the autobiography of Black Panther, Huey Newton. Newton’s idea was basically that you shouldn’t be afraid to go down fighting; for example, if the police are trying to shut down a protest, don’t go quietly, even if it means being killed. This was still a radical idea, but Jones took it even further.

Jones spun this idea to fit his own narrative and said that revolutionary suicide meant being willing to die “for the cause,” which was really dying for Jones himself. Essentially, he believed that his followers should be so loyal to him and The People’s Temple that they should be willing, and even happy, to die if Jones deemed it necessary.

At the same time that Jones was building his congregation, Guyana was a newly formed country in South America, and the government was struggling to provide enough food for their citizens. Ultimately, the government decided to lease land in the jungle to people who were willing to come to Guyana and build farms to contribute to the country’s food supply.

After a negative investigative article came out in New West Magazine, alleging abuse in The People’s Temple. Seeing his opportunity, Jones and his family, along with several hundred of his followers, moved to Guyana to build The People’s Temple Agricultural Project in the middle of the jungle. The journey to their roughly 3,800 acres of land took them to the capital of Guyana, Georgetown, where they had to journey by river to their settlement. They were roughly 6 miles from the nearest sign of civilization at the settlement that Jim Jones called Jonestown.

When his followers arrived to Jonestown, his aides confiscated their passports, money, and other worldly possessions. They were essentially stuck there, as Jim Jones had reportedly once told them, “If you want to go home, you can fucking swim home because we’re not paying your way home.”

Away from the pressures of American society and the American government, Jones was no longer afraid to be truly himself and make his increasingly radical views known. Armed guards patrolled the compound borders and temple members were forced to spend long days in the fields and participate in “White Night” drills, where Jones conditioned his followers into complacency regarding the idea of revolutionary suicide.

While they started out as a means to berate “disloyal” temple members, the White Nights eventually turned into what were essentially suicide drills. Jones would bring out a vat of punch (which was actually of the British brand, Flavor Aid) and urged his followers to drink from it. This idea had been on his mind for some time, as he had practiced this with his closest inner circle, even before relocating to Jonestown.

After everyone had drank their cup of punch, he would tell them that the punch was poisoned and that they would all be dead within the hour. Guards and Jones’s aides watched his followers, and anyone who appeared to be mad at their seemingly imminent death became targets for the rest of the night. Their lives were made harder and they were watched more closely after the drill if Jones was convinced that they wouldn’t be loyal to him and his commands in the end.

Tim Stone, one of Jones’s former aides, said that Jones once told them at a White Night, “Now I would like each of you to stand up and tell me how happy you are to die for the glory of socialism.”

While Jones produced videos for his remaining congregation still located in the US showing how happy everyone was at Jonestown, the reality was far different. At Jonestown, residents struggled to produce enough food for everyone and many people went hungry most days. Since they were quite literally in the middle of the jungle, they were also responsible for building their own shelters and there weren’t enough shelters for everyone. They crammed into tiny buildings and some members wrote home to their families about the conditions at Jonestown.

Eventually, enough family members of Jonestown residents became concerned for their loved ones and went to the US government for help. They believed (correctly in most cases) that their loved ones were stuck in Jonestown and weren’t being allowed to leave.

Congressman Leo Ryan got wind of this and his interest in the American settlement in Guyana was piqued. On November 14th, 1978, Ryan, along with two of his staffers, nine journalists, and 18 family members of Jonestown residents made their way to Jonestown. Once they got to Guyana, Jim Jones was hesitant to allow them into Jonestown, but when Ryan and the other visitors insisted on meeting with temple members, Jones reluctantly agreed.

Jones and his followers did a good job of putting on a show for their visitors, appearing happy to live in this utopia in the jungle. To the skeptical visitors, however, the act wasn’t good enough. They saw through the propaganda Jones was orchestrating and their suspicions were only confirmed when multiple temple members slipped the visitors notes, begging to leave with them and asking for help. When Ryan confronted Jones about the notes, Jones calmly replied that there was no need for concern; if his followers wanted to leave, they were more than welcome to do so.

On November 18th, 1978, Ryan and the rest of the visitors, along with 15 temple defectors, prepared to leave Guyana. At 5:20 p.m. a plane filled with defectors was preparing to leave when People’s Temple loyalists emerged from the forest and from behind tractors that were parked on the airfield. They were armed with guns and began shooting at the defectors and the visitors.

At the airstrip, Congressman Ryan, one defector (Patricia Parks) and three journalists (Bob Brown, Greg Robinson, and Don Harris) were killed. 11 other people, including staffer Jackie Spear, were injured. Spear was shot in the arm, but survived after hiding behind one of the plane’s wheels. Reporter, Tim Reiterman, along with the rest of the visitors and defectors, survived after fleeing into the jungle to hide.

At approximately the same time, Jim Jones announced another White Night over the loudspeakers at the compound. He called everyone to the pavilion building that was located in the center of Jonestown. As residents filed in, 25 guards, armed with rifles and crossbows, encircled the pavilion. Jones’s aides carried a large steel drum to the center of the pavilion and filled it with Flavor Aid as they had countless times before.

Next, Jones’s medical staff emerged and mixed cyanide, valium, potassium chloride, and chloral hydrate into the Flavor Aid. Jones pulled out a tape recorder, hit record and began preaching.

“In spite of all that I’ve tried, a handful of our people, with their lies, have made our lives impossible…there’s no way to detach ourselves from what’s happened today,” Jones began, on what’s now known as Q042: The Jonestown Death Tape. Jones told his followers that an attack on the congressmen and the other visitors was occurring as he spoke.

He told his followers that once the world finds out about the attack, “they’ll parachute in on us,” and “they’ll kill your children,” referring to the Guyanese military and the United States FBI and CIA. Jones told his followers that the Guyanese military was already moving in, and that they would torture and kill all of them if they did not kill themselves. He instructed everyone to line up, babies and toddlers first, to take their cup of punch, which would bring them all peace. He told them not to fear death, and that it would be like falling asleep.

As Q042 progresses, you can hear children crying in the background, and the tape seems to stop and start throughout. On the Jonestown episode of Sword and Scale, Julia Scheeres points this out and describes that the reason for the starting and stopping is that people were protesting; each time someone would attempt to speak out, Jones would stop the tape, as he didn’t want it known that some of his followers were challenging him.

The only protestor heard on the tape is Christine Miller, who proposed that they should let the children live, or that they could instead take one of the planes at the airstrip and seek asylum in Russia.

As he shut down Miller’s protests, Jones kept preaching and encouraged his followers to drink. He urged parents to calm their babies and instructed older children to comfort their younger siblings. As everyone lined up, Jones’s nurses filled syringes with the punch. The first woman in line used one of these syringes to squirt punch into her baby’s mouth, before drinking her own cup of poison.

The nurses tried to coax hesitant parents into handing over their babies to have the poison administered, and those who refused were forced to hand them over by the armed guards. As babies and younger children began crying, Jones and the nurses told parents that it wasn’t because of any pain, that the punch was just bitter. Soon enough, though, the children started convulsing and writhing in pain. Their eyes rolled back into their heads, and eventually, one by one, they went limp with death, their mothers doing the same shortly after.

Tim Carter was one of the few survivors of this White Night and is quoted in Part 3 of the Casefile coverage of Jonestown, saying, “Outside, I saw a woman named Rosie on the ground, holding her dead baby…inside I just wanted things to stop. I looked to my right and saw my wife with our son in her arms and poison being injected into his mouth…my son was dead and he was frothing at the mouth…my wife died in my arms and my dead baby son was in her arms.” Carter also stated later, “They were fucking slaughtered. There was nothing dignified about it. Had nothing to do with revolutionary suicide. Had nothing to do with making a statement. It was just a senseless waste. Senseless waste and death.”

As panic ensued, nurses began pouring the liquid into people’s mouths and injected it directly into them if they resisted. In the chaos, two of Carter’s friends pulled him away from his dead wife and child, and the three of them escaped into the jungle.

Christine Miller, the protestor heard on the Q042 tape, was forcibly injected with the poison and died soon after.

As Jones’s most loyal followers continued to drink their own poison laced punch, they left the pavilion after they drank, in order to shield remaining residents from watching them die. As the field outside the pavilion filled with dead and dying people, bodies were dragged into rows and placed on their stomachs so that remaining followers wouldn’t see their contorted faces.

Eventually, as aides ran out of room to line the bodies up, they were piled on top of one another and one of Jones’s doctors walked around with a stethoscope to confirm that each person was dead and not faking it.

Roughly forty minutes later, the light had left Jonestown. It was dark, except for lights coming from the pavilion, and Jones concluded his final speech. He switched the tape recorder off. Instead of drinking his own poison as he had forced his followers to do, Jones chose to die with a single bullet to his head. After seeing his followers contort in pain and after promising his followers that their death would be just like falling asleep, Jones decided that that wasn’t how he wanted to die. It remains unclear whether Jim Jones shot himself, or whether he had one of his aides end his life.

Ultimately, 909 people died in Jonestown on November 18, 1978. Of those, 304 were children.

The next day, a rescue team was sent to Jonestown, but they carried no medical supplies as they weren’t expecting to find any survivors. Shockingly, there ended up being 33 survivors who were either able to escape into the jungle, or avoided going to the pavilion all together for one reason or another.

Once recovered, survivors were airlifted to a Guyanese hospital, and then transported to a US Air Force medical evacuation aircraft. Some survivors who hid in the jungle remained there for up to three days before feeling safe enough to emerge. Many had been shot while trying to escape and had infected wounds by the time they were discovered, but all were simply glad to have survived the ordeal.

On November 20th, 1978, two survivors joined the recovery team to help identify bodies. In the end, only 631 of the 909 dead were identified, leaving nearly 300 people whose identities remain unknown. It took 8 full days to put all of the deceased into body bags.

The Guyanese government denied requests to facilitate the burial of the dead, leaving the American government to decide what to do with the 909 bodies being transported back into the country. Of the 631 identified bodies, barely half were claimed by family members back in the United States. The remaining 412 unidentified bodies and identified but not claimed remains were buried in a mass grave near Oakland, California where a memorial for the Jonestown victims now stands.

Larry Layton, who was instrumental in the attack at the airstrip, was the only one who was captured and faced charges for the Jonestown massacre. He was sentenced to 18 years in prison and completed his sentence in 2002. From everything I could find (which wasn’t much), it appears that Larry Layton now lives and works in Northern California.

One of the largest debates surrounding Jonestown is whether this should be considered a mass suicide, or a mass murder. Julia Scheere argues that it should be considered the latter, and that Jones had always had the intention of killing his followers in Guyana, pointing to the early suicide drills he conducted with his inner circle before moving to Guyana as evidence.

Scheere argues that a mass suicide was always Jones’s plan, and that many of the deaths that occurred in Jonestown can’t be considered suicides, as one third of the deaths were children who were forced to drink the poison, in addition to all of the other residents who were either forcibly injected with poison, or had it poured down their throats against their will.

Scheere also asserts that the use of the phrase “drinking the Kool-Aid” is insensitive and offensive to both survivors and victims of the Jonestown incident, and I agree with that assertion wholeheartedly. Since learning about the Jonestown incident, this phrase has essentially vanished from my vocabulary, and it’s my hope that it only gets rarer and rarer as more people learn about the atrocities that inspired it.

There are obviously WAY more parts and pieces to this story, which I would definitely recommend learning more about the next time you need an internet rabbit hole to dive into. From Jones’s “Rainbow Family” to more in-depth accounts of all of the abuses committed against his followers, this is only the tip of the iceberg that is Jim Jones and Jonestown.

I’ve included references and additional readings and recommendations below if you’re interested, but even if not, I hope that the next time you hear anyone talk about “drinking the Kool-Aid,” you’ll think of the 304 children and 605 adults who perished in Jonestown on November 18, 1978, and pass this story on to whoever still feels okay saying this phrase. Besides…it was Flavor Aid…it wasn’t even Kool-Aid, anyway.

SOURCES/SEE ALSO

Sword and Scale Podcast, Episode 50

Casefile Podcast, Case 60: Jonestown (Parts 1-3)

Part 1

Part 2 

Part 3 

Truth and Lies: Jonestown, Paradise Lost, available to stream on Hulu

Jonestown: Rebuilding my life after surviving the massacre

Archive footage of Jonestown

Q042 Transcript and MP3

[catsandtruecrime]

Why True Crime?

“Isn’t that kind of…dark?”

“Doesn’t that make you nervous?”

“I could never be interested in that, I’d have too much anxiety!”

To address these concerns…yes it is, yes it does, and I already do. Anytime I tell someone I’m interested in true crime, these are the responses I tend to get; and that’s also a lie. I’m not interested. I’m OBSESSED. Maybe this obsession began with too many episodes of CSI as a child, or maybe it was seeing cases like those of Caylee Anthony, Laci Peterson, and Natalee Holloway play out in real time during my most formative years.

Whatever the reason, I’ve been obsessed with learning as much as I can about true crime. When I was younger, my (somewhat concerning) interest in serial killers, combined with my love for the show, Criminal Minds, had me wanting to be an FBI profiler for a loooooooong time. I was ready to major in criminology and be the next Emily Prentiss or JJ Jareau as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, my activity induced asthma and ability (or lack thereof) to perform any sort of activity requiring physical endurance had other plans. When I couldn’t get PE out of my high school course schedule fast enough, it dawned on me that maybe I wouldn’t be the best FBI agent.

After reconsidering this career path and deciding maybe it wasn’t the one for me, I was forced to mentally move my “True Crime Obsession” file to the “Casual Hobbies” filing cabinet in my brain. Once there, it joined the likes of “Art,” “Social Justice,” and “Dolphin Training” where it remains to this day.

While art, social justice, and all things animals are also obsessions of mine, my thirst for true crime is one that can never be fully quenched. There are new crimes happening every day, and while crimes continue to occur, I’ll keep wanting to know everything there is to know about as many of them as possible.

I read once that true crime fanatics tend to be women, to an overwhelming extent. It was explained that the reason for this is that women are also overwhelmingly the victims in “true crime” incidents. As a result, true crime fanatics find a sort of comfort in learning about crimes committed against other women.

As counterintuitive as that sounds, stay with me here. Without even realizing it, we tend to start victim blaming to make ourselves feel better, and it actually makes us feel safer.

“This is sad, but I would never pull over for someone I don’t know!”

“I can’t believe she actually met up with that guy she found on some dating site! I know better than that!”

“Who would go hiking alone in the woods?! Not me!”

“Wow her friends are awful, mine would never leave me alone like that!”

We eventually convince ourselves that “I’m safe because I know not to do XYZ that led to this woman being attacked and murdered.” The more we know about how crimes occur, the better we’re able to avoid being the next victim.

Of course this isn’t a conscious thing and I don’t even remember where I read that now, but it’s an interesting theory nonetheless. For me, I definitely think this is part of it whether I want to admit it or not. If I’m obsessed with learning about these crimes, I’ll know all of the things not to do and voila…I’m not going to be the next one dead in a ditch or tossed in a river somewhere.

Clearly this isn’t rational or true at all, but when you spend your entire life being taught to watch your drink at the bar, never leave your friend alone, hold your keys between your fingers just in case you need to stab someone, never walk alone in secluded areas, keep your pepper spray accessible at all times, never walk alone in the dark, always be aware of your surroundings, and maybe just…never walk alone ever…you spend your young adult years anticipating being kidnapped at any moment. Sometimes you just need an excuse to not be terrified for a second.

Whether this is beneficial in the long run is debatable to say the least. When you spend your days listening to true crime podcasts and watching true crime documentaries, the smallest noise in the other room becomes the Zodiac killer (because he’s still out there, you know! That wouldn’t match his MO you say? That’s what he would want you to think…) or the latest guy that you weren’t completely nice to, coming to seek revenge.

Aside from creating the illusion that I’m teaching myself what not to do, I also feel that in learning about true crime, we’re giving victims their voices back. It gets complicated when it comes to serial killers, because it’s easier to remember one guy’s name than the names of his 10+ victims, but in many cases the story being told is truly about the victim. Take true crime podcasts, for example. The ones I listen to anyway. Episode titles are overwhelmingly names of victims such as Jessica Heeringa (Crime Junkie, February 24, 2020), Amy Allwine (Casefile, Case 86, June 9, 2018). These podcasts are my preference, because they tend to focus on the victims rather than the killers.

By putting our attention on the victims and remembering them and their stories, the killer doesn’t win. We remember their names, rather than the name of the person who wanted to end their story.  It almost feels like poetic justice in a way, to continue telling their stories and allowing them to live on through the retelling.

As much as I want to focus on the victims, it can be hard to do that when it comes to serial killers. Aside from it being easier to remember one name than many, someone who killed multiple people is more intriguing than a person who only killed one, as horrible as that is to say. In cases with one victim, a motive is generally easier to pin down, no matter how much sense it makes to us. A scorned lover, a jealous spouse, or a fit of rage is easy to imagine; none of these motives are new to us and have been reasons behind countless murders throughout history.  

In serial killer cases, though, a motive is often much more difficult, if not impossible to determine. What makes someone so depraved that they feel compelled to murder countless women? What “breaks” in a man’s brain that makes him kidnap teenage boys, torture them, and cannibalize their corpses? It’s nothing any of us can imagine in our wildest nightmares, but it’s real and it happens, and we want to know WHY.

I think this desire to know WHY serial killers do what they do comes back to our desire to avoid encountering something so heinous again in the future. For decades, researchers have studied serial killers and their brains in an effort to help crack the code and figure out what building blocks make a serial killer; what happens to these people that makes them do the things they do?

The final reason for my obsession with true crime is the hardest to explain, and it’s just a pure morbid curiosity. There’s no better way to explain this one; it’s just interesting to me to hear about real life monsters and the normal people who are victims of their depravity. It’s like watching a horror movie, except it’s even scarier because it’s real.

All in all, true crime has always been a big part of my life; my morbid curiosity started at a (probably concerningly) young age and has evolved as I’ve grown and learned more and more about true stories of crimes against other people. Whether it’s to make myself feel better, to remember the victims, or to try and crack the code, fulfilling my desire to be an FBI profiler on my own time, I don’t see my obsession ending anytime soon.

Amongst more lighthearted topics, I plan to discuss some of the cases that haunt me the most, cases I’d somehow never heard about until recently, and things that I’ve learned throughout my research and deep dives into the world of true crime. Buckle up, and stay tuned.