gotham knights (2000) #3 // batman (1940) #404 // gotham knights (2000) #3 // gotham knights (2000) #3 // batman: the twenty cent adventure (2002) #2 // dennis o'neil's batbible (1989) // batman: kings of fear (2018) #4 // batman: shadow of the bat (1994) #2 // batman and robin (2011) #22 // batman: the dark knight (2011) #10 // batman: black and white (2020) #5 // gotham knights (2000) #3 // gotham knights (2000) #3 // batman: shadow of the bat (1994) #0 // detective comics (1937) #1047 // dennis o'neil's batbible (1989) // detective comics (1937) #939 // batman: shadow of the bat (1994) #0 // batman (1940) #439 // batman: legends of the dark knight (1989) #29 // batman: arkham city // grant morrison from on fatman on batman // batman (1940) #634 // batman: night cries (1992) #1 // gotham knights (2000) #3 // gotham knights (2000) #3 // gotham knights (2000) #3 // detective comics (1937) #982
Robin!Dick (answering again for Batman): He said no.
Talia (annoyed): I simply think you could benefit from using more lethal—
Robin!Dick (jumping in front of Bruce): No, no, no, a thousand noes! The number of no’s could rival the Tower of Babel. No! No, Medusa! The answer is no!
Talia glared at the young sidekick. He smiled sweetly and then raised his index finger.
Robin!Dick (calm tone): …No.
Batman: You heard me. I’m going to say it again for emphasis—Robin.
Robin!Dick (singing): No!
Robin chuckled with a sinister smile as his father patted him on the head.
Talia (glaring at the child): Does this spoiled brat have to be here?
Batman: Yes. He’s giving you my usual answer. Thank you, Robin.
Robin smiled and nodded. He stuck his tongue out at Talia; she glared at him, clearly wanting to strike him. Batman noticed her anger and gently shooed her away.
Batman: You can go now. You got your answer.
Talia stormed off, shouting that she’d get rid of Robin without killing him.
Many years later…
Robin!Dick (12 years old): Batman, why is it that when you visit Talia, you come back with odd scratches and your wrists look like someone tied you up?
Batman (drinking coffee): You’ll understand when you’re older.
Robin!Dick: Are you fighting her?
Batman: That’s… the best word choice here.
Robin!Dick: Oh, I totally get that, especially with someone as yucky as Talia. Who wins?
Batman: Oh, Robin… I win every time.
Robin nodded, completely unaware that his father was referring to sex.
-----------------------------------------
Talia: My father is the greatest, bravest, most intelligent man, and you will not insult him!
Robin!Dick (13): The man has the charisma of a Taco Bell buffet, all you get is diarrhea!
Talia: You wanna go, kid? I’ll hit a teenager, I don’t give a fuck!
Batman: Touch him, and I’ll beat the shit out of you and your father.
Talia (pointing at the teenager): He started it!
Robin!Dick: I’m just an innocent teen speaking my truth.
Batman: He hasn’t said anything wrong.
Ra’s walked over, having overheard the conversation.
Talia: Father, he called you a Taco Bell buffet!
Ra’s: Yes. Clever insult, child.
Talia growled in anger and stormed off, dragging her father out by the arm.
When Dick found out what Bruce meant by “fighting” Talia, after his own sexual experiences with women like Starfire and Batgirl…
Dick rested in bed with Kori, sighing happily, slightly sore but in a good way.
Dick: Oh my God… That’s what he meant by fighting her. Ew.
Kori: What’s wrong?
Dick: It just clicked... my dad was definitely having sex with Talia during those visits.
Kori: Oh, sweet Zol. You had that moment? It passes, trust me, I’ve been there.
Dick sighed, covering his eyes.
Kori: French toast for breakfast?
Dick: That sounds fantastic. Also, Talia sucks.
Kori (joking): In more ways than one.
Many more years later when Nightwing and his dad weren't on good terms…
Talia: It took some time, but it seems Bruce will be mine.
Nightwing chuckled dryly at first, then burst into a cackle, pointing at Talia as if she were a clown.
Talia: What do you find amusing?
Nightwing: Sorry, it’s just… you think he wants to be with you? Oh, Tali, you’re just the rebound, booty call, who he calls when he needs bail money, you're there until something better comes along. Let me guess, shot in the dark, you answered the phone when he called all depressed?
Talia: That’s not— He's always depressed!
Nightwing: You’re nothing special. Just a chronic booty call. My dad will never settle for you. That’s a fact.
Talia: You know nothing about our love!
Nightwing: Honey, he told me about the annulment. He’s not happy, but he’ll recover and find someone better. While you’re stuck alone. I don’t know when he’ll finally realize he needs to be with Selina, but he will never, ever, ever, get back together with you.
Talia (shouting): WANT TO BET?
Nightwing: I don’t need to bet. I’ll say what I’ve said before, those wrinkles will show before Batman ever settles down with you. Nobody wants to be with a gorgon like you. Bye now.
Nightwing left the palace room with his Robin, Tim, the young hero laughing at his brother’s words.
Ra’s: You need some aloe vera for that burn, sweetheart?
Talia: NOT NOW, FATHER!
Robin!Tim: I thought Deathstroke was your enemy, but Talia seems to top that.
Nightwing: Pretty much. I’ll tell you more about how awful she is later.
Talia: I heard that, and you will do no such thing!
Talia crossed her arms, furious at first, until she remembered the plus sign on the test she took earlier that week. A smirk formed on her face as she placed a hand on her stomach.
----------------------------
Before Bruce discovered he had a son…
Dick: Hi.
Damian: Hello. I’m Damian. What’s your name?
Dick: People call me Nightwing.
Damian: Hm… interesting. You wear blue and black in a unitard. Does that help with fighting?
Dick: It does.
Damian: That's a smart choice then, I'm not a fan of the suit, but whatever helps you defeat your enemies easily is good.
Dick: Exactly. Thank you. He’s so cute. What are you doing here little man?
Damian: I live here with my mother and grandfather.
Talia stepped closer to her son with a malicious smirk.
Talia: Yes, he does! Go ahead, guess who his mother is?
Dick: Is she here?
Jason chuckled, pointing at Talia. He pretended not to be aware. Damian looked around, confused. Talia placed her hands on her hips with a proud smile.
Dick: She’s his… adopted mother?
Jason: Nah, I don’t think she kidnapped him... I think... That’s her son.
Talia’s smirk stayed, silently confirming the statement.
Dick: …Jason, stop messing with me. Where’s this kid’s real mother?
Talia: She’s standing in front of you, because she’s me!
Dick (in denial): No.
Talia: Yes!
Dick (pause then shaking his head chuckling): ...Nuh-uh.
Jason (whispering so Dick can't hear him): I had the same reaction.
Talia (keeping Damian close to her): He ismine.
Dick: Did you kidnap someone’s child?
Damian (worriedly): Kid—kidnapped?
Ra's: If only, then he wouldn't be related to us through... him.
Talia ignored her father and patted Damian's head.
Talia: Don’t worry, Habibi. You’re mine, I had you. You were birthed from me. You hear that, Dick? He’s mine! I pushed him out of my body! I spent hours in a room with a midwife to grace the world with my seed. Father can confirm it!
Ra’s: I can confirm they are biologically related.
Jason (playing dumb): OMG, I think she’s telling the truth. Crazy, right? I am flabbergasted. Like whaaat? I have to take a walk around the castle. I'm going to be thinking about this.
Jason quickly walked off, quietly chuckling because he knew the truth. Dick, unaware Jason had already been aware of Damian's existence, was still doubtful if this was all true. Until he looked at the kid, noticing some of her softer features.
Dick: No, no, no, no, a thousand no's.
Talia: This child is mine! I pushed him out of my vagina, that, he nearly tore that spot! That’s right, Dick. I had a human baby!
Damian (unaware): Mother, why do you keep calling him that?
Ra’s: His real name is Dick. The cat’s out of the bag already might as well name drop him.
Damian: Seriously?
Ra’s: Yes. Remember the names I told you that don't make sense to give a person. Yeah, his name is Dick, short for the name Richard. It a thing to call men named Richard... that.
Damian (genuinely curious): Why did your parents name you that? That's the alterative word a phallic symbol. Did they not like you?
Dick: I am not having this conversation! Talia... Talia, what poor sap did you trick into lying in the snake pit with you and procreating?
Talia: Oh, Himar. Don’t you see it yet? Look at my child closely and you’ll see who he resembles. Hint: I was married to him, and he took you in, circus kid.
Dick looked closely at Damian, and it clicked instantly, yet he refused to accept the truth.
Dick (repeating himself): He... He... there’s no way. No way. No way in hell... He would never... He couldn't possibly have...
Dick gulped seeing the resting angry face more clear.
Dick (voice dry, not computing this): Why does he look like a tan version of him the more I look at him?
Talia’s smirk grew more malicious as she gave Damian an awkward hug.
Damian: You know my father? Mother says he really likes bats.
Dick: Oh, sweet Jesus… no.
Talia picked up the heavy eight-year-old and brought him closer to Dick’s face.
Talia: He’s not only my child but the sole heir of Bruce Wayne! DNA tests proved it! The true son! Look at him, behold the son of me and Bruce, Damian Wayne Al Ghul!
Damian slowly frog blinked in response, the yelling hurting his ear as he stared at his new brother.
Damian (waving): Hi. Again. Mother, you’re yelling in my ear.
Talia: Sorry, son. Nightwing, Dick, circus freak, how does that feel? You were wrong! I told you I’d bear him a child, and here he is! I win, you lose! I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE! I DRANK IT UP!
Dick gasped, hand on his chest.
Dick: You just quoted There Will Be Blood to me?
Damian: I’m confused and scared.
Talia lowered Damian back to the ground, he looked at both people, debating if he should fight someone or run.
Ra’s: We all are. Your mother is almost done. As much as I want to say this child isn’t a Wayne, he is. Sorry, kid.
Talia: Do not apologize to the tight rope walker. He’s finally been shown proof that I was right, and I won!
Ra’s: Having his seed doesn’t mean you’ve won this strange rivalry with his eldest Robin. I’ve told you this for years.
Talia: I will never accept that point and it will stand forevermore that I win!
Ra’s sighed, shaking his head. Dick blinked for a few seconds, then suddenly excused himself, walking a few feet away and dropping to his knees, screaming.
Dick: God, why?! Why did an innocent child have to be born from a crazy woman?!
Ra’s (glancing at his daughter, knowing the answer): Are you happy with his reaction? Is that enough for you my daughter?
Talia nodded with a wide grin and tears in her eyes. She genuinely felt triumphant, but in reality, she hadn’t truly won. Yes, the sex was consensual, and she had an adorable son, but she wasn’t a victor.
Ra’s pulled out a fancy cigarette for a smoke break.
Ra’s: I’m going to smoke. Let me know when the Batman arrives, I want to see his reaction.
Talia: Oh, okay. Make sure to bring a camera. That reminds me!
Talia pulled out her phone and started recording Dick, who was shocked and trying to figure out what had happened and how he could stop it. Damian went over to him, watching him freak out.
Damian: You seem upset.
Dick: I am, but it’s not your fault. How old are you?
Damian: Eight. My birthday was a few months ago.
Dick: Oh my God, you’re eight! Bruce is going to drop like a sack of potatoes… I kind of want that. Now I’m conflicted.
Talia: Yes, yes, but see what our DNA made, you’ll never have that.
Dick flipped her off and looked at Damian.
Dick: Don’t do this to people.
Damian (thinking to himself, not speaking): Akhi Jason says something similar. Tiny world.
Part two to the jason todd part time babysitter and bruce meets his son series will continue... whenever I get to it. Comments help lol