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[cdowns17]

Heart of Darkness: ARIN LOSES IT - PART 14 - Game…:

[cdowns17]

Just wanted to say I love you chisarah10

[cdowns17]

Sunday Blues

Sometimes I wonder if people feel like no matter how hard they try they’ll always find a way to fuck up. Yes, I know everyone fucks up every so often but lately it feels like every corner I turn I find pain, suffering, unnecessary words, and impossible hurdles. I feel like for someone who has stared death in the face and laughed that everyone thinks that nothing can bother me but that simply isn’t true for I am human and in turn can be hurt accomplishing all the physical hurdles I have has drained me mentally and emotionally. But to me my emotions aren’t important, it’s when I hurt those that are close to me that I truly begin to care. When the person I love more than anything is crying in front of me…because of ME...that’s when I hate myself when I stay up all night wishing I could take all of it back...that’s when I hurt the most. I’ve wasted so much time trying to be the perfect son, boyfriend, and person that I forget about the people that matter most to me, and just how important they truly are. That’s when I get stuck running down a room of endless hallways of emotion that there is no escape from no end to the suffering and hurt that I have and cause people that’s when I explode on the person closest in proximity. Ironically I never feel better afterwards that’s when I turn to writing, in my opinion, the only true escape from this harsh reality I live in where feelings can be recorded and unjudged. Where no one has to be hurt they only have to read. That’s why I have taken to making Tumblr my personal diary. This is Entry 1.

[twentyonepilots]

frickin sunglasses. [photo by: @PRAKOPCYK]

[cdowns17]

I do not know why I would go

In front of you and hide my soul

'Cause you're the only one who knows it

Yeah, you're the only one who knows it

  And I will hide behind my pride

Don't know why I think I can lie

'Cause there's a screen on my chest

Yeah there's a screen on my chest

  I'm standing in front of you

I'm standing in front of you

I'm trying to be so cool

Everything together trying to be so cool

  I'm standing in front of you

Oh, I'm standing in front of you

I'm trying to be so cool

Everything together trying to be so cool

  I can't see past my own nose

I'm seeing everything in slo-mo

Look out below crashing down to the ground

Just like a vertical locomotive, that's a train

Am I painting the picture that's in my brain?

A train from the sky, locomotive, my motives are insane

  My flow's not great, okay

I conversate with people

Who know if I flow on a song I'll get no radio play

While you're doing fine

There's some people and I

Who have a really tough time

Getting through this life

So excuse us while we sing to the sky

  I'm standing in front of you

I'm standing in front of you

I'm trying to be so cool

Everything together trying to be so cool

  I'm standing in front of you

Oh, I'm standing in front of you

Oh, I'm trying to be so cool

Everything together trying to be so cool

  We're broken

We're broken

We're broken

We're broken people, oh

We're broken people, oh, yeah

  We're broken

We're broken

We're broken

We're broken people, oh

We're broken people, oh, yeah

  We're broken

We're broken

We're broken

We're broken people, oh

We're broken people, oh, yeah

  (We're broken, we're broken)

I'm standing in front of you

(We're broken, we're broken)

I'm standing in front of you

(We're broken, we're broken)

I'm trying to be so cool

(We're broken, we're broken)

Everything together trying to be so cool

  (We're broken, we're broken)

I'm standing in front of you

(We're broken, we're broken)

Oh, I'm standing in front of you

(We're broken, we're broken)

Oh, I'm trying to be so cool

(We're broken, we're broken)

Everything together trying to be so cool