Ours is a grief shared.
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@cdramandaspock-blog
Ours is a grief shared.
naaiiled iiit
My mindset today.
Sorry guys, I need to vent. My anxiety is kicking in and I am SO not in a good mood right now.
So today was just a normal day. I woke up after talking to my boyfriend on the phone on his way home from work and I ended up passing out once I got off the phone with him. Woke up, felt refreshed, only to find that my roommate needed my help with her video thingie. Totally fine, whatever. I didn’t wanna have to get up but whatever.
We get done with that, and I can’t fucking get into my room. Why? Because the new door locks that my school INSISTED on buying for no fucking reason are being updated and I had to wait for the RD to let me in. Whoop de fucking doo.
After that I go to class. I find out when I’m on my computer that the Quidditch match that we had scheduled THREE HOURS AWAY on Saturday at noon was moved to Saturday at 10am. WHAT. THE FUCK. And this is after the same fucking person told me I’m doing my math wrong about how much people need to pay me for gas. BITCH I KNOW MY CAR BETTER THAN YOU, DO NOT QUESTION MY MATH. I DID IT THREE TIMES.
So I tried messaging my mom. Because I have to be one of the people driving and I’m seeing if she can let me and my teammates I’m driving spend the night on Friday so I only have to drive 2 hours instead of three in the morning.
She hasn’t answered me.
And then Daniel tells me his hives are acting up really badly and it’s so bad he may not go to work. And then he says he’s going to fencing. Boys, I will never understand them. Either way, worried about my baby. :/
NEEDLESS TO SAY, THIS TUESDAY IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.
I like plans! I like knowing what is going on, when it’s going on and what we’re doing beforehand and when people poke HOLES in my plan I hate having to scramble to fix it!
"My name… Tiger Lily. I am the daughter of the chief in Neverland… But something is not right. I…
MY NEWEST OUAT CHARACTER.
This is what happens when I’m without OUAT for too long. I come up with elaborate subplots for Season 3.
Muse is low, gonna try to do replies after I nap. T.T
thelogicalhybrid has entered the bridge
Spock had to force his body to remain relaxed when her fingers found anchor in his hair. He could only assume that this was a habit formed from years of contact such as this. He could feel her motion toward someone but with his back to the rest of the bridge he could only assume it was one of her crew and he likely could figure it out easily enough but did not find himself interested enough in the other person to do so.
"I am sorry Amanda." He told her as gently as he could, he was almost positive that she seemed to think him some form of illusion at the moment. He was there, however, younger than her father but still his double much like he was Spock Prime’s double. He could feel her almost tangible pain and he tightened his hold, continuing to draw his fingers through her hair, “I am not going to be going anywhere, Amanda." He told her, resisting the urge to comment that he was not, in fact, her father. At least he was not at this point in time. That was incorrect, though, for she shared his DNA and pointing out things that were currently inconsequential was not important.
"Promise...?" she whispered, feeling herself continue to shake in her future father's arms. This was painful, but she'd have to get over it. Amanda needed to continue on, like Spock said. Live long and prosper. It was a saying passed on through the generations in her father's Vulcan culture. She needed to do as he said and she needed to be strong. It was exhausting for her to be so strong all the time, though.
The hybrid sniffles slightly, rubbing her eyes before she buried her face in his shoulder. She hated being so emotional, but she remembered her grandfather telling her once that emotions run deep in Vulcans.
+5 have entered the Bridge
"Welcome aboard the USS Sunchaser. Is there anything I can do to help you? The captain is currently off hiding from his medical evaluation so I have the con."
thelogicalhybrid has entered the bridge
Amanda was fortunately able to keep herself composed… Until she felt her father’s hand on her hair. The floodgates opened, and the commander shuddered as a sob ripped through her throat. Everything came flooding back; the Enterprise hailing them and Admiral Kirk ordered his son to run and let them handle this threat, the looks on her mother and father’s faces pleading her to talk some sense into Jim and get them to leave, the way all of the crew members on the bridge looked in their very last moments. Her father knew seconds before everyone else that he was going to die. He held up his hand in the way all Vulcans did in greetings and in farewells, and her mother held onto her father as she cried. Amanda had screamed for them, watching the Enterprise be destroyed along with the rest of her crew as the feed cut out—and their parents were dead. The rage she’d felt when Will was almost completely gone from this world because of Khan mixed with her grief, and Jim had gone into semi-comatose state, watching the debris from the Enterprise float there before them.
"I’m sorry… Daddy I’m so sorry," she sobbed, clinging to her father for dear life. Everything hurt, everything was wrong. This was not supposed to happen. Amanda and the rest of her crew had learned about their new enemy when he hailed them after destroying everything they held most dear to them. David Marcus. Coming to their time to avenge the fact he didn’t get to be born, he didn’t stop there. He wanted to make sure that if he didn’t get to be born, none of the Kirk children would be born. He went back in time, and they followed, but none of them have forgotten the pain left behind from that battle.
Spock felt the moment her resolve broke. He felt the sob that shuddered through her. He gently turned her so that his body shielded hers from the rest of the bridge crew currently present. They were working with a skeleton crew for this shift because of the unusual circumstances of having two different crews that were so similar and a rough few weeks. Things were being sorted out and quite a few people had been put on mandated rest. Without the link that Amanda had undoubtedly had with her father, Spock could not understand fully her emotions or the images coming to him through the contact he had initiated. He caught flashes but he quickly closed them out. He did not want to but knew that he had to, for the sake of not jeopardizing the autonomy of their lives anymore. Some things were inevitable and sometimes it was better not knowing.
"Shhh." He murmured softly, gently running his fingers through her hair, his other hand rubbing slow circles into her back. He did not know where it came from, the urge to comfort her, but he knew what to do. It was what his mother did when he came home, dry eyed and tortured from school. Even if he didn’t cry for himself, she had always had tears to spare for her young stoic son’s troubles. He had heard part of what was supposed to happen, more time travel, more destruction. He was not sure why it seemed to be their timeline that wanted to split but it did not matter. All that mattered is that Amanda, this girl hardly more than a child, his child, was hurting deeply, “Things to not happen without reason. There is a natural end to everything and while that end may be tragic and exceedingly painful, those who find their end would likely want you to recall their lives. Mourn but do not fall so deeply that you do not live yourself. Keep their memory close to yourself, keep their life close to yours, but continue to live. Dif tor heh smusma." He told her, trying to find the words that he had needed when his mother had died. It was exceedingly difficult in Standard, he found, dropping into Vulcan for his traditional ‘Live long and Prosper.’ If only because it felt raw to say it at the moment, when the last thing that seemed possible to do after such a loss was to live and prosper.
Amanda squeaked when she felt her father turn her, in that protective way he did when she was a child. Using himself as a Vulcan shield to keep her safe from the world. Her hand found her father's hair, tangling her fingers in it as she cried. Everything burned, and she wished she could make it stop. To make the pain stop. She felt Will start towards her and her free hand moved to make him stop, the lieutenant doing as she asked before his mother came to retrieve him. Amanda rarely released any sort of human emotion, and when she did it was normally in the safe embrace of her parents or with her sister. She refused to let Will see her cry. It almost ended their friendship a little earlier.
The way he was comforting her... The motions... It was just like when she was a child. "I just don't know what to do..." she whispered, tightening her hold as if she was afraid he'd disappear. "My sister and I are orphans... I cannot imagine my life without you and Momma. I don't know what to do. Daddy please don't leave me," she choked, her body shaking. Her resolve was gone. She couldn't hang on anymore. She needed to be human. Just this once.
SPOCK MUN I AM REPLYING
Amanda was being a butt and hiding.
Seriously?
Read More
That's ok, let me love you.
//OOC: I think I accidentally killed someone with feels. Amanda-mun, you okay?
So YOU'RE the one who broke my tag! *just had to sift through her dash* and I'm ok now. xD the other day I wasn't.
*SCREEEECH* I WAKE UP AND SEE THAT AND NOW I AM SOBBING. TOO MANY FEELINGS.
letsbones has entered the bridge
"Doctor McCoy, a pleasure,"
papa-trek has entered the bridge
Amanda stopped short, staring at the man before her. She'd seen his picture in Will's grandmother's house... But this couldn't be! George Kirk was dead! The hybrid took a step back, raising an eyebrow at him as she took him in. "You are George Kirk?" she asked, tilting her head curiously. William, James and Winona were her first priority (probably because Will was her best friend and Jim was her captain) and if this man wasn't who she thought he was... She'd have to get him out of here.
PERFECTION
I CRIED STOP
THEY LOOK LIKE PARENTS AND CHILDREN SHIT A+ CASTING
star trek legally blonde au
#you got into starfleet? #WHAT LIKE IT’S HARD
I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE LIKE I NEED AIR
thelogicalhybrid has entered the bridge
Amanda smiled at his words, shaking her head in hopes to reassure her father. “You told me once how you felt your father didn’t love you as a child, and you found out later it was quite the opposite, but you vowed to both my mother and I the day I was born that you would make sure I knew I was loved. For that, I am grateful."
She wanted to tell him so much. She was scared, and she was rather unlike herself these days. Before they were sent through the time stream, the Enterprise was destroyed, and its crew with it. It was only after her first and last encounter with Khan that this happened, but the reason the Sunchaser was here was to track down the ship that killed their parents. The Kirk boys were on edge and Amanda was having a tough time trying to keep her captain, her lieutenant, and even her little sister calm during these times. Sometimes it sucked being Commander Spock.
"I… I hope you do not hold this against me, Spock, but…" she murmured, emotions from her remembering her parents overcoming her and soon she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around her father in a hug, burying her face in his chest.
Spock was surprised at the sudden contact. His breath rushed from him in his confusion. His shields very nearly crumbled at the unbelievable sadness he found came from her, even though they were not touching skin-to-skin. It was impossible not to feel it. There was a mental bond between parents and children and of course it was his own mind that she was bonded to, even if it seemed weak. It was much like himself and Spock Prime with Kirk but familial instead of a deep friendship. There wasn’t a bond between them but a ghost of…something.
Slowly his arms fell around her and he relaxed, drawing her close to him, “I believe that the point of comfort is to be held close, Amanda." He told her soothingly, “I could not begrudge you this." He added softly. It was strange but not unwelcome. He found himself feeling an unfamiliar warmth, a need to comfort her in whatever way she needed comfort. He lifted a hand carefully to her hair, breathing slowly, measured breaths. He was unfamiliar with how one was supposed to comfort a child but he would try.
Amanda was fortunately able to keep herself composed... Until she felt her father's hand on her hair. The floodgates opened, and the commander shuddered as a sob ripped through her throat. Everything came flooding back; the Enterprise hailing them and Admiral Kirk ordered his son to run and let them handle this threat, the looks on her mother and father's faces pleading her to talk some sense into Jim and get them to leave, the way all of the crew members on the bridge looked in their very last moments. Her father knew seconds before everyone else that he was going to die. He held up his hand in the way all Vulcans did in greetings and in farewells, and her mother held onto her father as she cried. Amanda had screamed for them, watching the Enterprise be destroyed along with the rest of her crew as the feed cut out--and their parents were dead. The rage she'd felt when Will was almost completely gone from this world because of Khan mixed with her grief, and Jim had gone into semi-comatose state, watching the debris from the Enterprise float there before them.
"I'm sorry... Daddy I'm so sorry," she sobbed, clinging to her father for dear life. Everything hurt, everything was wrong. This was not supposed to happen. Amanda and the rest of her crew had learned about their new enemy when he hailed them after destroying everything they held most dear to them. David Marcus. Coming to their time to avenge the fact he didn't get to be born, he didn't stop there. He wanted to make sure that if he didn't get to be born, none of the Kirk children would be born. He went back in time, and they followed, but none of them have forgotten the pain left behind from that battle.