tomorrow never dies

you first brought the sun for everyone to see

[celestialdownfalls]

talk me down; holly & wendy

[tomorrowverse]

Weston let himself hold Holly for a little bit longer, jaw working as concern consumed him. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear about whatever was going on either, but he knew it was better if Holly got it off his chest. Hearing the truth would be ten times better than Holly leaving. Slowly, he pulls back from the hug and gestures towards one of the chairs in the dressing room, sitting in one himself. “That’s okay,” He finally said, voice quiet as he swallowed down nerves. “You can tell me. I know I acted badly last time, but you really can tell me anything, Holly,” He murmured, cheeks flushing as he brought up their last encounter. He didn’t want to get in to that just yet–or ever. Weston wasn’t sure he would ever be able to confront what happened that night, but he knew he had to eventually. 

[celestialdownfalls]

When Weston untangled himself from Holly, the man felt cold. He felt like he could start shaking at any point even though the warm weather of a California fall was supposed to be keeping him anything but. He wanted to pull Weston back into his arms, to hold onto the man for hours and just never let him go, because this was the first time in over a month that he’d actually not felt like he was falling apart. “It’s, uh.... There’s too much,” he breathed out as he turned towards the chair, slumping down into it. “Everything’s just too much right now and I don’t know how to deal with it other than to just...drink.”  There was so much more that he wanted to say, but even though Weston said he wasn’t going to react like last time, Holly was scared that it’d get worse and that’d just solidify the fact that he needed to leave the band. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking the locks so they fell over his eyes. “I can’t get through a day sober anymore. I’ve tried, but I just...I can’t.”

[celestialdownfalls]

hold me close; erin & rohan

[tomorrowverse]

Rohan watched Erin wearily, concerned for the other. Rubbing at his eyes again, he sat up along with him and licked his lips nervously. “Let me get it,” He insisted quietly before pushing himself out of the bed, “You can relax. You had a bad dream, right?” He asked hesitantly. He didn’t want to pry, but he wanted to learn more about the dealer he was currently sleeping with. He was pretty taken by him the moment he met him, and it only grew more intense the longer he knew him. “You don’t have to tell me about it, but you don’t have to be embarrassed, yeah? Everyone gets those, right? It’s nothing to be ashamed about,” He insisted. He used to have nightmares quite a lot when he was younger, but the vividness of his dreams seemed to fade every year. 

[celestialdownfalls]

“You don’t have to do that,” Erin responded as he slowly twisted to look at Rohan. He hadn’t wanted to wake the man up from this but it seemed like there really wasn’t much choice in that at this point. “I mean I’ve got the glass right here and everything, no worries.” Erin reached for the cup that he’d made sure stayed on the bedside table for reasons like this. The pain from his nightmare hadn’t gone away yet and Erin knew that probably had to do with the fact that it was actual pain as well. He needed to take his pills, of course. “Yeah, just...thunderstorms,” he said in response before he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “M’not embarrassed about it, mate. Having a bit of pain is all.” He didn’t exactly want to talk about the fact that his nightmares were something he couldn’t get rid of, especially when they lived in such a rainy, thunderous area of the world.

[celestialdownfalls]

hold me close; erin & rohan

[tomorrowverse]

Rohan wasn’t dreaming of anything in particular. He was convinced he didn’t dream, though it was more likely that he just didn’t remember them in the morning. Rohan was also a fairly deep sleeper, but the sharp gasp and body writhing against him caused him to wake up with a start, blinking around the dark room in a daze as he tried to comprehend his surroundings. When he realized that Erin seemed to be nearly gasping for breath, he quickly removed his arm to give him some space. “Erin?” He asked softly, rubbing at his eyes. “You alright, mate?” Slowly, he reached forward to rest his hand on his back, lightly tracing his fingers along his spine. He doesn’t really know how to handle a situation like this. Comforting people has never been his strong suit. 

[celestialdownfalls]

The sound of Rohan waking up next to him had Erin calming slightly, mostly because of the fact that he didn’t need to react so weirdly with a person he was sleeping with, especially considering he was also a client. The last thing he needed was to weird Rohan out in any aspect, mostly because he didn’t want to lose someone who was so cute and interested in sleeping with him. “Fine,” he breathed out, trying to calm his breathing. “I’m — yeah, alright.” The feeling of Rohan’s fingers lightly touching his back was both necessary and uncomfortable to the man. It almost felt like each touch was a spark to the scarring that was there but it also provided so much comfort that Erin didn’t immediately expect it. Erin shifted in the bed, moving to sit up. “Gonna grab some water,” he mumbled, his voice still expressing a hint of shakiness as he stood up. “Go back to sleep.”

[celestialdownfalls]

hold me close; erin & rohan

Nightmares were a normal experience for Erin. Since the incident and all the time spent in hospital recuperating from the pain, he’d been having nightmares of thunderstorms, of seeing the lightning come out of the sky and watching it hit him in slow motion, killing him instead of letting him live. Sometimes they varied, but usually there was always some sort of thunderstorm in the terrifying dreams and they always revolved around Erin dying. This one was no different. It was like he could feel the pain of the electricity coursing through his body as he jolted awake from the painful dream, a painful gasp escaping his lips as he tried to untangle himself from the arm draped on top of him. In the moment, he didn’t know who was in his bed or what was going on. The only thing that Erin could think about was stumbling out of bed and getting a glass of water to remind himself that his dream wasn’t reality, that he was alive and well despite the pain that he swore he could still feel throughout his body.

[celestialdownfalls]

talk me down; holly & wendy

[tomorrowverse]

“Yeah,” Weston answered softly, voice shaking as he met his gaze. Nerves caused his stomach to churn, making him feel a bit ill. He was tempted to lean forward and do what he did in that hotel room that one night, but he kept seeing his parents faces in his mind, and he couldn’t do that to them. Shaking the thought away, he cleared his throat. “You were so full of…life. Unapologetically yourself. I wish I could be like that,” He confessed, jaw working as he tried to get his pulse to slow down. Biting his lip, he looked up at Holly with concern, knowing something was going on, but not what. Whatever it was it had to do with Nora, because the girl was practically a hermit lately. “Then you talk to us,” He murmured gently, giving Holly’s hands a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t just leave. That’s not making sense, that’s just being rash. We all love you and we don’t want you to go anywhere,” He insisted before standing on tippy toes and pulling him in for a tight hug, wrapping his arms around Holly’s neck. 

[celestialdownfalls]

Holly didn't know what to say or do at this point. The mere fact that Weston was being so nice, that he was touching Holly and interacting with him and making him feel like everything hadn't been completely fucked up by the fact that he'd admitted that he was in love with the man. He let Weston talk to him and hold onto him and tell him all these good things that Holly wasn't seeing in himself at the moment. When the man pulled him into a hug, Holly didn't know what to do. He hugged Weston back, sucking in a soft breath of air as he acknowledged just how good it felt to hold Weston again. He squeezed the man in his arms, holding onto him tightly as he tried not to let out everything that was messing him up just yet. "I...we can talk about it I guess," he mumbled as he pressed his face into Weston's hair. "I just don't know if you want to hear it, honestly." He was scared to tell Weston all of the things that that were going on in his mind, especially since the last time he told Weston things that were on his mind, he lost his friend for a month.

[celestialdownfalls]

talk me down; holly & wendy

[tomorrowverse]

“You’re not understanding me,” Weston protested, eyes a little wild with how desperate he felt. He wished he was better at communicating his feelings, but he grew up in an environment where feelings were never talked about. Without thinking, he took Holly’s hands in his, more of a way to keep himself grounded than anything. “This isn’t about the band staying afloat. I never cared about being famous,” He bit, shaking his head. “This is about making music with the people I care about. You, Holly. I don’t want to do that with a stranger.” Frustration clawed at him as Holly dismissed his confession, nearly growling he was so put off. “I did!” Weston cried, his voice going several octaves higher. He never yelled, ever. “If it was just Nora, I would’ve turned her down on the spot. I never wanted to be famous, I never wanted to be stuck on a bus with people who never heard of an indoor voice. I joined, because there was something about you that I couldn’t just ignore. I–” Weston cut himself off there, breath coming in shaky gasps, because he knew where this was going, and it couldn’t. He knew how he felt about Holly, and it scared him more than anything in his entire life. “I don’t want you to go,” He said instead. 

[celestialdownfalls]

Holly was startled by Weston grabbing onto his hands. At the point that they were at, he didn’t expect that the man would even consider touching him. Honestly, Holly felt that Weston had been a bit disgusted by him since his confession, so the fact that the keyboardist was holding his hands had Holly immediately calming. This was what he needed, honestly. Even though there was so much tension in the room, the feeling of Weston’s hands holding his had Holly calm. “You would still have Nora and Stef,” he said weakly as he looked at Weston, not sure what to say or do at this point. There was so much pent up anger and frustration and overall things that Holly needed to say, but he couldn’t find the words. Instead, he found himself quietly trying to twine his fingers together with Weston’s so he could hold onto him. “There was something about me?” he asked, his tone holding a slight bit of disbelief, because he didn’t understand it. He was just obnoxious, over the top, blatantly anything but what people expected him to be, but he didn’t think that he was the reason why Weston had decided to join the band that day when they’d approached him. “There’s....there’s a lot going on,” Holly said after a moment. “I don’t want to — I’ve put a lot of stress on this band, lately, and I don’t know if it makes sense to still be in it. It’s not that I want to leave, because I don’t, but.... It just feels like it makes sense.”

[celestialdownfalls]

talk me down; holly & wendy

[tomorrowverse]

Weston just stared at Holly, at a loss for words. At a moment like this, all he could think about was how his life had turned out. The thought of being a band never crossed his mind, and being in a famous one wasn’t even fathomable. He was a shy, reserved teenager who had more family issues then hairs on his chest. Then one day, he was playing piano for a gig and Nora and Holly approached him. Obviously, Nora was impossible to forget, but Holly was…all consuming, full of life and excitement, all bright eyes as he gushed about the band he was forming with the girl. Weston was enamored from the start. He told himself he just admired him, that he wanted to be his friend, but it was more than that. Weston just refused to admit it and still did. The memory was at the back of Weston’s mind as Holly spoke, heart constricting when he mentioned the “L” word again. Instead of defending himself or arguing more, he deflated completely, looking up at the boy with sad hazel eyes. “Please, don’t go,” He breathed quietly, heart pounding so hard he was sure Holly could hear. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I joined, because of you, and I don’t want to be in it without you. Please don’t throw it all away.”

[celestialdownfalls]

The fact that Weston wasn’t arguing with him at this point had Holly a little hysterical. He wasn’t sure what he was doing or what was happening at this point because he didn’t know if he was talking to the Weston that was once his best friend in the world or if this was just his band member Weston, the one who was thinking about how the band would change without Holly there. “You don’t need me to keep this band alive,” he said as he looked at Weston, shaking his head. “No one needs me here to make sure that the band’s alright. A replacement drummer can do the exact same thing that I do. Hell, there’s probably better ones out there too who’d jump to be in such a famous band.” Holly swallowed at Weston’s words, almost immediately shaking his head because he knew it wasn’t true. He knew it wasn’t. “You didn’t join because of me, Weston,” he emphasised as he wrapped his arms around himself. “You joined because we found you and bombarded you and for some reason you thought it wasn’t the craziest idea in the world. I’m not the reason you came to HB and you know that. Please don’t lie to me, not about that.”

[celestialdownfalls]

talk me down; holly & wendy

[tomorrowverse]

Weston didn’t do stuff like this. He didn’t fight or yell. Confrontation made him feel ill half the time, but he wouldn’t let Holly just destroy everything he created. “Bullshit,” He spat with a short laugh. “They love Stef, but they live for you. You’re the charming one, the funny one, the one the fans make all those silly fan videos of,” He waves a hand with a slight roll of his eyes. “You fit in the most, because you and Nora created the band,” Weston emphasized, shaking his head in bemusement. “We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you two. I don’t care what you did, that doesn’t change that. If anyone doesn’t fit in, it’s me.” He doesn’t know how to make Holly stay. Words weren’t his forte, which is why he didn’t write the songs. “You’re crazy if you think Nora would let you leave this band alive,” He huffed a laugh before his face fell, letting out a deep sigh. “Look, please don’t go because of what happened with me. I’m not worth that. I’m sorry I pushed you away like I did, it wasn’t very considerate, but you scared me, Holly,” He confessed quietly, gaze averting to the ground nervously. “I honestly had no idea you felt that way and you really caught me off guard. You didn’t give me anytime to process it. I didn’t want to stop being friends with you, because of how you feel. I just…I didn’t know how to think or feel.”

[celestialdownfalls]

Holly let out a bitter chuckle. “I’ve got a personality, go me,” he said before he shook his head. “We created a band, but I don’t think it’s the same one it was when it started and at this point you definitely fit in more than I do, so leave it be.” Weston’s comment about Nora had Holly letting out a startled laugh. “Nora? Nora’s barely even talking to me at this point, so I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t give a shit what I do with my life. What I’m trying to say here is I think my time with Halcyon Imbrued is up, and that’s fine. Shit, I’m surprised it lasted so long and got to where it was.” Holly took in a slow breath as he looked at Weston. It was hard to do this, to be in the same room as him without letting that slew of feelings that he’d been drowning in alcohol come back. “Not everything’s about you, Weston,” he said coldly, biting down on his tongue almost immediately after he said it. “Fuck!” he exclaimed, stepping back and running his fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands. “I’m in love with you, you don’t feel the same way, it’s fine! It’s whatever. If you wanna feel bad and blame yourself for this shit, go for it, but it’s a lot bigger than just that. We can’t be friends anymore, clearly. We haven’t spoken to each other outside of concerts and interviews in a month, and that’s fine.” It wasn’t, clearly, but Holly wasn’t about to begin explaining all the things that were wrong with that scenario. All he wanted to do in this moment was to let out everything that was building up in his head, all the tiny thoughts that were growing into monsters that kept him from sleeping, but he couldn’t. This wasn’t his best friend anymore, and Holly had accepted that. Honestly, at this point, he didn’t know what he and Weston were anymore, and if they were even friends.

[celestialdownfalls]

talk me down; holly & wendy

[tomorrowverse]

Weston knew he was being a little unfair, but he was just frustrated with the situation and scared of himself, at the moment. Biting his lip, he contemplated apologizing when Holly dropped the bomb. For a moment, he just stared at him in shock before springing to life and blocking the door from Holly. “You’re not serious,” Weston hissed, voice cracking a little. “You can’t just up and leave the band like that and expect to be replaced like it’s nothing, Holly. The fans will start a riot. You’re the favorite,” He pleaded, brown eyes going wide, his heart pounding in his chest. The thought of losing Holly is more painful than it should be. Of course, he considered the drummer to be his best friend, but the thought of losing him made it feel like something even more. “Is this because of what I did? Because I pushed you away?” He murmured shakily. “That’s not a good enough reason, Holly. It’s not a reason to leave the band you created!” 

[celestialdownfalls]

“I’m not serious?” Holly recoiled a little bit at the words and the action, torn between surprised and slightly angry by Weston’s response. “No, clearly I just walked in here and told you I’m leaving the band all for good fun. What in the world would I have to be serious about?” He shook his head, trying to get around the barricade that Weston had made in front of the doorway. “Stef’s the favourite and we all know it. They’ll survive without me. I’m just the drummer, and a crap one at best.” The fact that Weston brought up their last interaction — the kiss, the fight — Holly didn’t know what to do about it. He hadn’t expected to be confronted about that, just about the band, but of course that’s what this all came down to. “Then tell me, what is a good enough reason because I’m all ears,” Holly snapped back as he stared at the man. “I don’t fit here anymore. The band’s a mess, you can’t tell me you don’t see it. Everything’s fucked up and most of it just seems to be my fault so how about we just remove the problem from the situation and I leave before we end up actually breaking up because of this rift between us all.” Holly swallowed thickly. “Now I told you what I needed to. Can you get out of my way so I can go figure out how to tell the others?”

[celestialdownfalls]

talk me down; holly & wendy

[tomorrowverse]

Weston was definitely the quietest of their very loud group, reserved by nature. He chose to silently observe when it suited him best, and he saw a lot. Something was clearly off with Nora, and Holly was in the middle of some sort of downward spiral. He probably thought no one noticed that he was drinking more than eating, but Weston did, and he couldn’t help but be a little frustrated over it. All of this, because he didn’t jump in Holly’s arms and admit his undying love for him. He still felt a little bombarded by Holly’s confession, honestly not having any suspicions, considering the man was almost constantly sleeping with Nora. He tried to keep the kiss out his mind, because it just wasn’t an option. Lost in his thoughts, Weston jumped a little in surprise when the door opened, blinking at Holly. The drummer hasn’t spoken to him in ages. “Depends,” He murmured, running his fingers through his black hair. “Are you sober enough to hold a conversation?” 

[celestialdownfalls]

Holly couldn’t help but chuckle a little bitterly at the question. He couldn’t say that the whole reason behind this spiral was Weston’s doing, because it wasn’t, but when the person who had helped ignite Holly’s major fuck-up was pointing it out, the man couldn’t just not react to it. “You’re hilarious,” he said as he leaned back against the door frame, looking at Weston. “If I wasn’t, I’m pretty sure I’d have a bottle on me, Weston. Doesn’t look like I’ve got one now, does it?” It hurt Holly to call the man by his actual name. All the good things that had been there about their friendship seemed to fade the second that Holly confessed his feelings for the man, and Holly knew that at this point there was probably no way to get those back. He’d lost a lot this past month, and at this point, losing the band didn’t seem like that much more to sacrifice. “Just figured that you should be the first to know,” he said as he gestured towards Weston, the sleeve of his jumper billowing a bit more than usual. “Thought about it long and hard. After this tour’s over, I’m leaving the band.” He paused, pushing himself off the way. “Don’t worry, though. I’ll help you find someone else to replace me. Wouldn’t want to make anything too hard on you guys.” There was so much more that Holly wanted to say, but he couldn’t find it in himself to do so. Instead, he turned back towards the door, figuring that he’d said what he had to, might as well get out before it backfired on him once more.

[celestialdownfalls]

talk me down; holly & wendy

Holly was by no means sober. These days, it was rare to see the man walking around backstage or on the tour bus without a bottle of some kind of alcohol in his hand, and at this point he was pretty sure that more and more people were picking up on it. The only positive thing at this point was that he had managed to get to a point where he’d raised his alcohol tolerance despite managing to lower his normal food intake. Olly was worried, he knew, but it wasn’t like he was skin & bones yet, and Holly wasn’t going to let himself get there. He was definitely a bit buzzed as he made his way to the dressing room, knowing that he’d find Weston there. It was the first time in a long while that he was going to talk to the man, but Holly knew that he had to say it. At this point, he couldn’t keep in the band anymore, not with the way things were going, so if he had to break the news to someone before he did it to everyone, that someone had to be Weston. Holly pushed the door open, fumbling a little bit as he stepped inside, sans bottle, luckily. “You have a moment?” he asked as he looked at the man, his usual cheerful attitude long since gone when it came to being around the keyboardist.

[celestialdownfalls]

bottom of a bottle; holly & olly

[tomorrowverse]

Olly moved to rub Holly’s back gently, in an attempt to comfort his distressed brother, only to freeze completely when he broke the news. “What?” He gaped, careful not to make his tone short, so he wouldn’t upset him. He knew instantly who was pregnant. Nora was the last person he’d expect to go in to isolation. “How did that happen? Well, I mean–I know how it happened, but I thought you two were usually safe,” He murmured, finally coming to his senses and continuing to rub Holly’s back. It was shocking, and it was hard not to freak out, but he had to stay calm for his brother’s sake. “It’s not the end of the world. There’s still abortion and adoption, right? You two don’t have to become parents now.” 

[celestialdownfalls]

Holly shook his head. Even in the process of telling Olly one of the hardest thing he had to say, he knew what his brother’s reaction would be. It was almost comforting to know that his brother’s first thought would be to comfort him, but then again, it seemed that that’s what he had been doing the entire time. “Yeah, but not always,” he mumbled. “Sometimes we get kinky, skip that shit or, if it’s really spontaneous like it was the night before tour... We fucked up, but if she wants to keep the baby, I’m going to be there.” Holly sighed softly, burying his face in his hands. “It’s just... I’m not ready to be a dad, you know? I’m only twenty-three. I don’t want to be a dad yet. I’m still a fucking kid; more of one than you are most days.” He sighed. “Everything’s just too much right now, Ols. I can’t keep living like this.”

[celestialdownfalls]

bottom of a bottle; holly & olly

[tomorrowverse]

Holly wasn’t making sense, unsurprising considering his state, leaving Olly feeling extremely confused. All he caught was something about being honest and safe sex, which were both two very worrying things. “What are you talking about?” He asked softly, reaching over to take his brother’s hand in his own. Maybe if he had something to hold, he’d be less focused on the bottle. “I’m sure whatever happened wasn’t your fault, Holly. You can’t blame everything on yourself. It’s not healthy.” He knew that Holly didn’t care about being healthy right now. It was evident by the lack of eating and too much drinking, but Olly cared enough for the both one. “And neither is that,” He gestured to the bottle. “That won’t solve anything and neither will not eating.” 

[celestialdownfalls]

“No one said it was supposed to solve anything,” Holly mumbled, closing hsi eyes as he set the bottle down on the ground next to him. He had no intention on solving things with too much alcohol and not enough food. No, this was just his coping mechanism. It was how he survived high school, and up until he fainted and ended up in the hospital, it had worked pretty well. “It’s my fault, Ols. It really fucking is, and feeling like this sucks.” He let out a sigh, raking his hands through his hair as he tugged roughly on the locks. He wasn’t going to start pulling his hair out again. He liked it too much these days. “I fucked up a really good thing, and I’m  —  I’m gonna be a dad...” It was the first time that he said that aloud since Nora had told him, and it didn’t feel good in the slightest. In fact, it felt pretty horrible.

[celestialdownfalls]

bottom of a bottle; holly & olly

[tomorrowverse]

Olly nodded solemnly and put his sandwich back on the platter, his appetite gone. “I’m leaving it here in case you do get hungry, alright? You might want it if you need to sober up fast,” He murmured, leaning against the porch wall and admiring the view of the city. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I can tell something is off with you guys. Nora won’t leave her room, Weston is quieter than usual, and you’re…well, yeah. Is something going on?” Luckily the band was good at putting on a show, so Olly was pretty sure none of the fans have noticed, but the crew had. The stage manager came up to him earlier asking him if he knew what was up, which was concerning. 

[celestialdownfalls]

Despite the fact that Holly knew Olly would leave the food there for him, he probably wouldn’t touch it. He’d pick at something before the show, probably eat enough bread to soak up the alcohol, and then after the show he’d drown himself in another bottle. It wasn’t ideal, but Holly knew that he was going to continue doing that until he found a better solution to his problems, not that there was one. “Why’s it matter?” Holly mumbled, lips pressed against the mouth of the bottle. “The whole thing’s gone to shit and Stef’s the most sane of us all, who knew?” Holly shook his head, downing the last of the contents, a grimace crossing his face as he swallowed it down. “Tried to tell the truth, fucked it up. Tried to have safe sex, fucked that up too. Everything’s a mess and it’s all my fault.”

[celestialdownfalls]

bottom of a bottle; holly & olly

[tomorrowverse]

“It’s not cool with me,” He responded instantly, a deep frown set on his lips. He wasn’t usually forceful with Holly, definitely the quieter sibling, but he remembered what it was like a few years ago, and he couldn’t see his brother like that again. “We don’t have to talk about it. That’s fine, but please just eat the sandwich, at least a few bites,” He pleaded, brown eyes wide with worry. “For me?” He asked softly, putting on his best puppy pout. It probably wasn’t the best tactic, but since their parents weren’t around, it was his job to look out for Holly–to make sure he was eating and taking care of himself. Nora also helped a lot, but she seemed off too, always locking herself in her room as soon as their shows were over.  

[celestialdownfalls]

Holly knew that he wasn’t going to get rid of his brother that easily. It seemed that he never was able to make Olly go away when he wanted him to, and right now, Holly wanted to be alone. “I don’t want to talk, and I don’t fucking want to eat, so leave me alone.” He ducked his head, running a hand through his hair as he tried to keep himself calm. Taking it out on Olly wasn’t going to help anything, and he didn’t need to turn anyone else against him. He’d already basically lost hold of his grip with the band, he didn’t need to lose his family too. “I’m not —  I’m not getting bad again, okay? I’m just not hungry right now. I’ll eat something before the show, soak up all the alcohol and shit, okay?” Holly wasn’t really in a position to be bargaining with his brother, especially considering the past, but he couldn’t do any of this right now, not when his head was a mess. 

[celestialdownfalls]

bottom of a bottle; holly & olly

[tomorrowverse]

Knowing Holly for nineteen years meant Olly could tell when the other was upset. And when Holly got upset, his eating habits took an unhealthy turn. With a sandwich platter in hand, he went to Holly’s hotel room, heading for the porch when he saw it was empty. He couldn’t help but frown when he spotted his brother drinking away his troubles. “Have you eaten?” He asked softly, taking a seat beside Holly and handing him the platter. “I know you haven’t, so I brought you a sandwich. You can wash it down with the alcohol.” Taking his own sandwich he took a bite, watching his brother worriedly. Olly considered his older brother his best friend and hated it when he was hurt or not okay. “You can talk to me, you know. It’s not good to keep it all in when you’re on tour.” 

[celestialdownfalls]

“Go away, Olly.” Usually, Holly wasn’t much of a dick to his brother unless it was solely in jest, but right now he wasn’t in the mood to deal with any interaction, let alone his brother who knew him better than almost anyone. “I’m fine.” The mere idea of eating something made Holly’s stomach turn, although that might’ve had something to do with the level of alcohol that was inside of him. He set the platter down, ignoring the sandwiches as he looked out on the city in front of them. This was one of the nicer hotels they’d stayed at lately, but that wasn’t something that Holly was appreciating like he should’ve. instead, his mind was muddled. “I don’t wanna talk about it, Ols. I just wanna keep on drinking until I can’t feel anything, so if that’s cool with you...” Holly took another gulp from the bottle, the liquid burning his throat as it went down.

[celestialdownfalls]

bottom of a bottle; holly & olly

Staring down the bottom of a bottle was not exactly what Holly was supposed to be doing with his life, but he couldn’t seem to find it in himself to do anything but. Between the knowledge that he was going to be a father and the blowup that he’d had with Weston, he couldn’t find a reason to not invest his time and money in destructive vices. The entire dynamic of the band was changing, and Holly was beginning to wonder if he was even needed in this band at all. As he took another swig from the bottle, he considered what would happen if he left. After all, he was just a drummer, easily replaceable with the right kind of talent. They didn’t need him here, or at least that was what his brain was telling him as he contemplated just how much better off they’d be if he turned into nothing more than a stay-at-home dad once Nora had the baby, if she was even going to keep it at the rate things were going.