Imagine being amazing. Kind, easy to talk to, patient, great sex. But no one wants to show you off, because you aren’t the perfect idea of beauty. I’m tired of being a secret.
we're not kids anymore.

titsay
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occasionally subtle
KIROKAZE

pixel skylines

Andulka

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

tannertan36

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styofa doing anything
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Claire Keane
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Xuebing Du
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Kaledo Art

roma★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

⁂

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@celibac90-blog
Imagine being amazing. Kind, easy to talk to, patient, great sex. But no one wants to show you off, because you aren’t the perfect idea of beauty. I’m tired of being a secret.
Whose Penis is it Anyway?
The fun thing about committing to a lifestyle of celibacy is all the reflection it brings about. This is my second time around so I’m a slightly under qualified expert. In addition to the positive reflection, the first few months are a series of very intricate flashbacks. I’m talking vivid memories in perfect detail. Good and bad sexperiences. I think when you’re reprogramming your mind and body, your mind naturally produces negative feelings that triggered your desire to change. (I hope that makes sense….) Anyway, one of the perks of discontinuing a casual sex lifestyle is the peace you’ll receive when you realize you’ll the lessen the chances of running into a random hookup….or said hook-ups Girlfriend, Baby Mama etc…. Because if you’re me, this will occur, repeatedly. 🙄 So when it happened last month it put me into deep thought. I thought to myself…. girl, how many more times are you gonna be out enjoying your life and run into a woman you’ve shared a penis with? Community penis….. 😒 And it’s always weird and uncomfortable. Because you all both know you’ve shared one person during such an intimate experience. And it makes you realize that it’s really not intimate at all. It’s not personal, and it definitely doesn’t make you feel special. Becsuse even if it was casual….I still willingly gave apart of my physical self away. And I recognize that can be taxing, mentally and emotionally. Whose penis is it anyway? Everybody’s girl… (That’s how I answered myself when that very obvious question popped into my mind…) I’m not ashamed to say…. I want my own personal-forever penis. That’s the goal right?? It’s mine. Fall in love with my best friend, and lock that shit down for a lifetime. Because those awkward stare offs were never fun anyway…. And it kinda makes you feel gross, and sends your mind into a series of forever unanswered questions. What number was I? Who else knows? How many others? Why girl? Why?! I’m almost 30 days in, and I look forward to avoiding occurrences like this in the future…. cause that shit is wack. Goodnight. ✊
I am so over being single. It’s something about being in your late 20’s that makes you start to wonder if this is going to be permanent.
My Damn Self
Reset
The last time I blogged, I was deciding if I was ready to take on the Great task of celibacy once again. That was in December…. I’m here to report I decided to go in the complete opposite direction. Why? Because sometimes, bitches be basic. And that’s that. I guess I needed to test the waters one more time. Have a Hoestravaganza, if you will. I’m fancy and I’m a lady…. And I was feeling hoetastic....follow along. So starting in March, I had a grand time. Minus running into a student and parent at HyVee at 12 o'clock in the morning trying to gather things for my mission. (I practically ran to the checkout line. I still haven’t recovered from the shame). Anyways, niggas are niggas, and they always gonna nigg. So when the shit hit the fan, everything was shutdown immediately… And then there was nothing. For a second. Until my SnapChat phase. Laaaawwwwdddd……. It really does go down in the DM’s. There are some saved snaps out there I couldn’t come back from. I did not have mobile relations with that man…. I didn’t realize how quickly a snap off could escalate. Like, we were trying top one another. (That’s what she said) The middle of my summer was like waking up from a drunken night, checking my phone and going over all the ridiculousness that ensued. But I was never drunk. Fast forward to August, during morning meditation, I had one of those moments of honesty where I thought…. I might have taken it too far. And when I say “might have” I just mean I did. So I’m hitting the restart button on this thing…. because all good things must come to an end. After most of my shenanigans I always ask myself….. “Was it worth it though?” And to that I say, “Hell yeah nigga!” Shoutout to everybody, I had fun! (Pause, Restart). Here’s to Day 1 🙂
Whose Penis is it Anyway?
The fun thing about committing to a lifestyle of celibacy is all the reflection it brings about. This is my second time around so I’m a slightly under qualified expert. In addition to the positive reflection, the first few months are a series of very intricate flashbacks. I’m talking vivid memories in perfect detail. Good and bad sexperiences. I think when you’re reprogramming your mind and body, your mind naturally produces negative feelings that triggered your desire to change. (I hope that makes sense….) Anyway, one of the perks of discontinuing a casual sex lifestyle is the peace you’ll receive when you realize you’ll the lessen the chances of running into a random hookup….or said hook-ups Girlfriend, Baby Mama etc…. Because if you’re me, this will occur, repeatedly. 🙄 So when it happened last month it put me into deep thought. I thought to myself…. girl, how many more times are you gonna be out enjoying your life and run into a woman you’ve shared a penis with? Community penis….. 😒 And it’s always weird and uncomfortable. Because you all both know you’ve shared one person during such an intimate experience. And it makes you realize that it’s really not intimate at all. It’s not personal, and it definitely doesn’t make you feel special. Becsuse even if it was casual….I still willingly gave apart of my physical self away. And I recognize that can be taxing, mentally and emotionally. Whose penis is it anyway? Everybody’s girl… (That’s how I answered myself when that very obvious question popped into my mind…) I’m not ashamed to say…. I want my own personal-forever penis. That’s the goal right?? It’s mine. Fall in love with my best friend, and lock that shit down for a lifetime. Because those awkward stare offs were never fun anyway…. And it kinda makes you feel gross, and sends your mind into a series of forever unanswered questions. What number was I? Who else knows? How many others? Why girl? Why?! I’m almost 30 days in, and I look forward to avoiding occurrences like this in the future…. cause that shit is wack. Goodnight. ✊
C: My New Year’s resolution for 2017 is to undo my self-destructive mentalities. Starting with my social anxiety. I’m so tired of feeling uncomfortable around people especially men. I get so tight around them but i will grow out of my shell. I’m going to stop over analyzing every situation and thinking that everyone is judging me or laughing at me. I’m going to rid myself of the mentality that i am inadequate because im not like my peers. I will be confident in everything i do and achieve!!
I Waited for You - Janette…ikz Wedding Vows
Five A.M. Focus Shenanigans
So during week whatever of seriously considering celibacy, I had a major slip-up. One of those slip ups that make you reconsider your decisions and reevaluate your lifes purpose. Yes, it was an encounter where I received the short end of the stick…aka nothing. I’m sure this has happened to the best of us, and by the best of us…. I just mean women who don’t mind being Queen of the Best Job (get it?) Anyway, as I drove back to my room at 5 in the morning, that overwhelming feeling of emptiness crept into my mind. Followed by….what were you thinking? You’re too damn old for this. But of course, I’m a glutton for punishment, so there was no possible way I could stop there. Because one bad decision before the end of the year just wasn’t enough. Fast forward a few days, I was stood up for the meeting that should’ve completed what I had started in the front seat of my Focus at 5 am with reclined seats. I decided to take this L as divine intervention. Perhaps it really is time for me to be celibate. Because every time I want to go the other way, it’s always some bull shit….and I’m drained. I’m almost 27, which makes casual sex for someone my age pathetic, and kinda sad. I’ll finish my thoughts about this later. I need to go meditate.
#celibate #celibacy #nosex
I thought I was 21 again....
2016 was pretty amazing for me. I lost weight, started a career and finally found my purpose. But there’s some personal stuff I participated in that made me rethink my choices and decisions. I did a few things I couldn’t repeat to anyone. Not even my closest friends. Just know…when you’re 26 and older, casual sex is no longer a thing. At least not for me. It’s absolutely overwhelming and draining. At the same damn time. I was celibate almost 2 years when I decided to start having sex again. I can’t go back and continue along that same path, and I accept that. Time to take a stab at celibacy for the second time. Create a new plan to follow.
#celibate #celibacy #nosex