~caren bmy

caren suchan merkan | 17 years old | new zealander

[cerenbmyfc]

@barismrtyagci ♡

[cerenbmyfc]

Before you I was a warrior who didn't know the real meaning of winning

I know for the first time that I really love someone, but I don't know what it means to [love].

I've searched for the right word a million times to tell you, I think that's enough

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

I want the smile on your face,

not to know who made it

:

I'm trying to survive this damn hell

with a little sun in my hand

:

the collapse of this great building

will be glorious and bad

:

because their bricks were made of love

and i haven't other home to go

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

I'll visit you someday, my angel. And I'll tell you what I've been through, what I've done after getting to know you. I'll tell you why I have shed so many tears for you and how many times I have searched for the right word to describe my feelings for you. I'll explain what you have contributed to me and what I want to add to you, how much I value you and how much value you deserve, why I call you my angel. I'll hug you until I show you the love in me and maybe cry because I can't show the love in me. I'll find you in case I can't go to heaven, my angel.💫

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

I want to put heart emoji but it sounds very simple, I want to write I love you but everybody says it to everyone. It is clear from here that no one feels what I feel, nobody has produced a word that I would like to write now. Maybe if you could hear my heartbeat you would understand a little, or if you could see my tears, how I'm looking at you....

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

You know, when one really listens to one's heart, one can write beautiful things and do it only with the people they love with their heart...

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

Maybe i should just wait and draw a clover

And it goes further🍀

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

All this time i'm where i want to be

And every day i'm in a hell where it's sunny

I would give my eyes to touch, never to see

'Cause you're high place and they have a ladder, baby

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

I made a promise,

i made an unforgivable promise with tears

🌊

And every time I see that face,

those eyes and the dried river inside

☁️

The brightest light I've watched it fade slowly

🌙

because I made a promise

and I tried to make up with my tears

i tried to close with my love letters

i see what I used to dream now in my worst nightmares

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

the only sea you can drown,

formed of our love tears

~♡~

and deeper you go,

the closer you can see us

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

the night i waited to cry

darker than ever

now i cry in the daytime

for the strangest love of all time

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

they built a big wall, between us

all we want is larger holes

we played with very heavy stones

and willing to break our bones

this game is over but unfairly

we couldn't see everything cleanly

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

they hide real games behind the curtains

they care more about a piece of paper than dreams

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

we cried together for hours

in different places, for the same reasons

I'm one of the millions of stars in the sky

If I had everything, I would have found a way

to give it to you, because without you

the universe is nothing, same as dying

@barismrtyagci

[cerenbmyfc]

now i count my tears on my pillow

because I know

you shed your tears

I will scream, I open the window

because I know

you want to shout

I will not sleep even if my eyes are red

Cause I know, you pretend to sleep

@barismrtyagci