@chaermolypi asked: “Sometimes I feel like I’ll never have it together.” [ from will! ]
late nights | no longer accepting!
i guess we’ll go crazy together, right?
it’s what they’d said that halloween of ‘84. and mike had meant it. he might not have been the best friend since then, but he still meant every word of it. will was still his BEST friend. the two had been thick as thieves since kindergarten and mike truly wouldn’t be able to blame will if he wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with mike after the shit he’d pulled since first arriving in california, but the point still remained.
he might’ve been a shit friend in the past, but starting now, mike would be there for will. they both NEEDED each other; it was clear as day. being apart for six months might’ve made the heart grow fonder, but it did nothing to quell the confusing feelings mike had been conflicted with since the day will left.
he was still confused. he didn’t think he’d ever not be confused.
“ hey, well, i guess that’s why you’ve got me here, right? ” he says after a moment. “ to help you get it together. ”
the amount of time in which will has spent hating himself somehow manages to seem both obsolete and justified in mike’s presence. it’s a terrifying, garbled MESS of emotions that he’s been dealing with over the last several years, always knowing himself to be different, yet the understanding of what that truly meant would only grow more prevalent as he aged.
he’s a FREAK. someone to be automatically hated by society for the feelings he couldn’t control, and sometimes, that made it seem okay for him to hate himself, too.
and then there was his predicament with mike, who always had a surefire way of throwing will’s entire world off kilter whenever he so much as glanced his way. he’s embarrassed to realize the amount of time he’s spent staring at his best friend since his arrival in california, and yet no matter how hard he tries, it’s like a gravitational pull that continues to direct his eyes towards him.
of course, mike’s words of comfort bring a familiar sense of conflicting emotions. he’s overjoyed to hear them, yet simultaneously, it only makes his problem all that much WORSE. sometimes it was torture, although during the moments in which will let himself simply feel, it was heaven. he wishes it was easy to block out all the bad, but his thoughts are so loud.
a tiny hint of a smile tugs at the corners of will’s lips despite it all, heart racing. “i… think you may have bitten off more than you can chew with me…” he murmurs quietly, hunching up his shoulders slightly as he forces himself, once again, to look away. “i just- i’m not sure any amount of time- or help could... fix me...”