faded colors, blurred lines

[chalkpanda]

will you still hold my broken pieces even after you find out I was never whole?

[remanence-of-love]

[chalkpanda]

sometimes I wonder if the person you love isn't really me.

Because 99% of the time, I am pretending to be the person that I think I want to be.

You think I am spontaneous, passionate, and invigorating.

I am not.

Every action, planned. Every expression, calculated. Every decision, part of a longer plot, designed to manipulate the grander scheme, in an attempt to be somebody I'm not.

But all it does is wind the noose tighter around my own neck.

[chalkpanda]

it was all going so well.

but all it took, was one bad day to tear it all down.

[chalkpanda]

sometimes I still wonder if I'm just dreaming.

[chalkpanda]

what if I'm a disappointment?

or worse what if I'm a failure at everything.

[chalkpanda]

Sometimes I get scared that I am too sad of a person for you.  I am afraid that my sadness will infect you and that you will become sad too. 

That would be unfortunate, because you are so bright.  You are my sunshine. 

[funeralheart-deactivated2023061]

𓆉⊹˙༄

[lionfloss]

by mauro_roberto__

[chalkpanda]

how do I stop this voice in my head

it never shuts up

and keeps telling me how I'm

not good enough

not pretty enough

not important enough

to be loved by you

or else you would call more

I try to fight but what do I do when I feel like i can't even compare to a game

that I'm not comforting enough for you to want to talk to me first

and so all I can do is lie here

crying

thinking about how

you're not really in love

[chalkpanda]

your smile is a salve to my aching heart.  your eyes are like sunshine breaking through after a rainstorm.  your laugh sweetens my day like honey.  your voice is my favourite song. 

[chalkpanda]

You are why the stars twinkle so beautifully each night. You are why the sun is warm and comforting as it shines down. You are why the wind whispers through the trees and tickles my hair.  You are why the rain washes away the gloom and refreshes my mind.

You are the reason I can see the world anew. 

[aestum]

(by Karsten Winegeart)

[chalkpanda]

homesick

I struggle to wrap my head around the fact that you're so far away.

I long to be back in the familiar places where people know me and I know them.

I miss the warmth of your voice and the comfort that I find in your embrace.

somehow the afternoon is still cold.

[chalkpanda]

The way you smile is as natural as the rain falls. Your laugh washes over me like sunshine, and your touch is like the kiss of the morning dew.

I hold back the throughts of fear and anticipate our life together, bursting with excitement like a child, right before they open a gift.

[chalkpanda]

There are those who can see the flaws and still find value in my being.  However, I am not one of those people. 

All I can see are scars, imperfections, and emptiness.

[chalkpanda]

tear me open because if you don't, I will.