Change Your Damn Self

Who I thought I was, I wasn't. I am trying to in a healthy way understand that.

[changeyourdamnself]

Help

I am kind of at a standstill with my weight loss... Someone help me to be motivated again. Please....

[changeyourdamnself]

Diets on Holidays

You know, it is really hard to stick to a diet in the midst of a holiday feast! With that said this weekend I didn't stick to my diet but I also didn't stray to far from it. I can proudly say I only gained one pound this weekend! My motivation is strong and I fee great. I still have a lot of weight to lose but one day at a time I will get there! You just see!

[changeyourdamnself]

2 AM Sucks

Waking up at two in the morning with feet on your back, then getting your back peed on then having to deal with a cranky hubby, baby and preschooler all the while having to clean and wash the mess of the morning all before the sun comes up makes something very true. That something is that 2 AM freaking sucks! There is no way around it. Unless you waking up at 2 to go to Disneyland, then it sucks. Don't try to tell me otherwise, it will just make me more mad.

[changeyourdamnself]

Facing the Struggle

When you are in the face of a struggle, whether it be relationships, finances, job or so on, most people endure the entire thing in panic or fear. That is, until they see the light at the end of the tunnel. Have you ever wondered what the struggle would be like if you faced it incomplete peace? My hubby and I are facing a financial struggle right now. He is angry and scared, I on the other hand am at complete peace. I know God will provide. I know that we will have everything that we need. I know it and I am not at all worried. He must think I am stupid or something, but I am so far from that. I have so much faith in God right now that I am choosing to have peace instead of fear. I am choosing calm in stead of panic. I am choosing God instead of worry.

[changeyourdamnself]

Diets

So I am doing this diet called Dukan diet. I thought it was going to be hard but it's not that complicated. Today is the last day of the first phase. I am down 8 pounds! Go me! I am changing my damn self!

[changeyourdamnself]

I Messed Up

I cheated on my diet today. In a moment of weakness I ate a slice of pizza. I feel so guilty about it. I know tomorrow is a new day but today I fee like I screwed up royally.

[changeyourdamnself]

Moody

I get everyone has bad days. I mean we are humans full of emotion and will eventually have those emotions completely takeover, whatever they may be. Happy, sad, mad, giddy... This lost goes on and on. However, but my kids and my hubby all have one of those days at the same time. It makes me want to stress eat and or drink. Today's test for me is not cheat on my diet, not screw up. Don't be a screw up.

[changeyourdamnself]

Stronger Than You Know

In the last 4 days, I have learned a lot about myself. I have always known how strong, and how brave and how courageous I was. I just didn't know the capacity of my strength, bravery or courage was. When you are tested or placed in a obstacle course, you see yourself for who you are and parts of yourself you are not using to the max. Which brings me to this... If you don't like what you see in the mirror, or you see that you aren't using your skills or yourself to absolute max of your abilities. Then you are wasting them. You are wasting yourself. Stop blaming others and step up.

[changeyourdamnself]

Anger Gone

Now that I have cooled off a bit and I have a better understanding of my misunderstanding with my hubby, I am still sad but I am not devastated. Which was the feeing I had with my first little rant. It is a crazy how a misunderstanding or miscommunication can cause a war. Except this war was not between my husband and I, (don't get me wrong I was really upset with him),however, this war was in my mind. Which is exactly what destroys a person from the inside out. Luckily I have a great people and God in my corner. I couldn't ask for a better support group. My take away for today: don't give up, speak clearly, if you are in the wrong fix it. Grow some balls and humbly admit you were wrong. One more thing in regards to my weight I am 2 pounds down.

[changeyourdamnself]

I’m Back, Or Am I?

I am fat. It is as simple as that. Do I like how I look or who I am? No. A million times no. However, if I am being honest with myself, I don’t know who I am. Everything I thought I was turned out to be a lie. All of it. I know who I am in Christ. I know who I am as a mother. I know who I am in my eyes as a wife, but all who I thought I was to my husband, turns out I am not. Were all his words a lie? Were they just half lies (if that is even a thing)? So today I ask myself can I recover who I once was to him? Can I love myself? Am I beautiful? 

[changeyourdamnself]

Day 8: Looking in the Mirror

Have you ever looked in the mirror and saw YOU... I mean the real you. Not what everyone says how you are, or how they see you. Actually taking a step back and looking at God's beautiful creation. No lie, it was really hard for me. To see me as me. I loved the fact that my husband thought I was beautiful, but I can honestly say that considering the insults that I recieved growing up and the weird but clever names, I am beautiful. (The Christina Aguilara song in playing in my head.. "you are beautiful in every single way...) You know it.

So in conclusion.... I AM BEAUTIFUL!!!! The crazy part for me is wondering how many of us have actually judged or said or criticized some for the way that they were created. You may have been a victim or you may have been the one poking fun, whoever you are reading this don't do judging that is not your job to do. Whatever side you are on, there is always an explanation for their actions or their reactions.

Love you all... please remember that I really do appreciate all the feedback and your thoughts.

     Romans 7:15   "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. "

[changeyourdamnself]

Day 3 4 5 6 and 7: Establishing Habits

Sorry I have not been posting, so due to this fact, the topic was an easy pick! My weakness, but its a step that I have to take in order to find my sparkle. Going head to head with this issue will probably will be a battle that I fight til the day I die. But its necessary! Good news, I have lost 9 lbs. Especially in light of the recent tragedy in Tucson, it has come to my attention that the weaknesses and worries of this world has been easily accepted by the minds of many of us. So make it a habit to stay n prayer and in God's word to not adapt to the world but to Jesus Christ. Romans 12:2

[changeyourdamnself]

Day 2: The Rude Awakening

As I woke up this morning and looked at myself in the mirror, I saw a pretty face with a fat body. My "roundness" has formed my attitude and the way I look at myself. Well as stated in Day 1, I am embarking on this journey to lose weight and find my sparkle. You me losing my sparkle is like that old man "losing his marbles" in the movie Hook. He eventually finds his marbles and eventually I will find my sparkle. So my rude awakening from this morning was absolute torture, but as think about how I used to be and how much I desire that again, I do what I do best... I smile. On a plus side, not plus size (just kidding), I have lost 4 lbs from yesterday. So again thank you for your support and thoughts, I truly love them. Today's report: breakfast: eggs lunch: the insides of a sandwich ( and shame on me) a cookie dinner : green chili soup Philipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

[changeyourdamnself]

Day 1: The Hardest Step is the First Step

How do I begin.. well by explaining to you why I am basically makng a fool of myself to share my journey with you. For the last 5 years I am and have been what I liketo call a "tub- o- lard". Cruel.. maybe, but it is what it is. My current wieght is ???lbs, (did you think that I would tell you), and I want to be what I weighed when my husband and I first started dating. Isn't that every girls dream!! How do I justify sharing this very personal and emotional roller coaster ride with you? Well because I  NEED your help. It is extremely difficult for me to admit this, however, I can not do this on my own strength any longer. As crazy as this sounds I need your help, as well as God's, to achieve this getting my life back goal.

I like to call this My Journey Back to Sparkle... corny? A little but it is truly what I desire, what I need to become the healthy wife, daughter, friend and hopeful mother that I NEED to be. So I am making you accountable to keeping me in line and encouraging me to NEVER give and see the beauty that my husbands see's in me. Please, this is my cry out to you, please help me find my sparkle that I lost.

So Day 1: Breakfast: Nothing---- Lunch: Salad with some weird dressing---- Dinner: Baked chicken with green beans.

My attempt for the next 2 weeks is to eat no carbs, no sugar, workout (which I did not do today). Of course, as my husband says, taking one day at a time.

Thank you so much for helping me, you do not know how much I cherish your thoughts and encouragment..

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength..