find college!nct (here) & hs!haechan (here) | hs!jeno (here)
favorite subject: physics & world history
least favorite subject: english
voted most likely to: visit mars
jisung’s favorite thing to proclaim is that he is NOT a nerd - he is a open-minded intellectual
“you have an entire theory about how aliens are real.” haechan points out flatly and jisung just rolls his eyes “not just aliens. micro-universes. honestly, that’s not nerdy - it’s genius.”
the rest of his friends have given up on trying to get through to him,,,,,,watching star wars re-runs till 5 in the morning isn’t being open-minded,,,,
and jaemin has whispered this to jeno before, that maybe jisung’s over the top jokes and jabs at others is just him hiding that shy part of himself,,,,the jisung that doesn’t want to get excited about history and space in fear that people will resort to making fun of him
jeno agrees but does jisung really have to keel calling him ‘cold herted manhwa prince’ all the time,,,,
although he’s the youngest, and therefore still has to have some boundary of respect with his friends, this doesn’t stop him from being sarcastic at like. every given moment
“yeah renjun, that haircut - your mom was wrong it’s a disaster”
“since mark abandoned us for college or whatever adults do - haechan is in charge of us and therefore haechan buys us snacks after school. amiright or amiright?”
even jaemin, whose in another town isn’t safe, one night over the group chat jisung went “jaemin i have a recommendation it’s a book and it’s called your opinion only matters when you move back to our school written by yours truly”
like he’s a little mischievous kid, even if he’s in high school, you can’t take that away from him
and most of the time,,,his friend are used to it because every group needs a smartmouth
even though when they all first met him, getting jisung to even speak his name had been hard
but under that comic exterior is a kid with real passions, a kid who people sometimes see as this thin, overly excited video game playing nerd when in reality he wants to do so much with his life
he wants to discover more of the world, leave his mark on the world, even if it means he can’t be that shy boy anymore
“yeah i have almost too much extensive knowledge about final fantasy, but hey that might come in handy if i ever have to fight a magical world against a new race of aliens that has come to take over the -”
“jisung, i called you to ask if you wanted to come see jigsaw with us not get another lecture”
“,,,,,fine haechan but you’re missing out on my genius. you will regret it in the future”
also, even though he’s a fairly good student, can you imagine jisung trying to play like ??? on his 3ds like in the middle of a lecture and making a loud sound when he loses
and the teacher is like ? what was that and jisung is like sorry it was my stomach got that,,,hourly indigestion
and haechan slaps his head against his textbook while everyone class is like oh my god grOSS
i just love jisung not caring about a word that comes out of his mouth LOL
you’ve never had classes with jisung, but when you get switched into english and the only chair open is beside him, you two realize quickly that - you’re a lot alike
for one, you notice that while the teacher is droning on, jisung’s hand are moving unnaturally under his desk
with one tilt of your head you see his 3ds and the screen, smirking to yourself
that game was on of your favorites - and jisung was incredibly bad at it
another time, jisung catches you
instead of reading your textbook, in between the pages you have a old copy of star wars: dark force rising
you’re not even being subtle, but the teacher doesn’t seem to care enough to check and jisung leans over
“khabarakh is really cool isn’t he?”
you flick your eyes over to him and grin “yeah, but i prefer wookies over noghri’s”
jisungs eyebrows furrow “why? their honor codes are the same-”
the teacher clears his throat and asks if either you or jisung would like to read the next passage - completely in english
you stay quiet and jisung gets up, his voice sounds like a slapstick version of some british actors as he reads randomly off the pages of the textbook
not wanting to hear it, the teacher waves for him to sit down and asks another student to do it instead
you look over and jisung shrugs with a smile, but you mouth a thank you anyway for saving you from the embarrassment
unfortunately, english is the only class you have together, but it’s enough to blossom a friendship
you pass notes talking about how the lights you saw last night looked like UFOs, about how the new remake of twin peaks isn’t that great, about how halloween is for kids but your dream costumes would still be something classic and spooky
you show jisung, while the teacher is going over homework, a technique for the video game he’s been sucking at
and as you both lean from your desks, your fingers moving swiftly across the buttons, jisung looks up and
the space between you two,,,,,is so small,,,,
up close he can see the small details of your face and how pretty they were now that he got a good look
he had made fun of his friends for liking people, oh he’d done it plenty “do you really think IU is ever going to love you back?” yadda yadda
and it came easily to him because he had honestly never felt,,,,that feeling before
he’d never looked at anyone and felt his heart swell or his stomach fill with butterflies
he had assumed that maybe he did have a crush on characters in movies he liked, video games he played, but on a real person - a person in school - the person sitting beside him kicking his ass at this video game he had been struggling with for hours -
your whispered voice sprung him out of his thoughts and he grinned, taking the 3ds away from you and saying something like “this better work or else”
you rolled your eyes and lean onto your desk “it will. it got me to level 14 so,,,,,,,,,,”
your voice lingers in jisung’s head, even after school has ended and he and his friends have agreed to play soccer out in the field
jisung keeps being distracted, at one point gets punted in the side with the ball
renjun yells for him to pay attention, but jisung says he needs to go get something and runs off the field before anyone can question it
he finds himself in the nearst mini-mart, the college student behind the cashier doesn’t even look at him twice and he walks down the aisle mindlessly picking up bags of gummy bears or chocolate bars
he doesn’t have any money, but he pretends to keep shopping till something taps his shoulder
for a moment he thinks it’s the cashier, about to kick him out of the store
“you look like i just offended your grandmother, what’s up?”
you’ve got a handful of milk tea bottles and licorice
“can i have one?” he points to the bottle and you laugh “sure, there’s more over there-”
he pats his pockets and shrugs to show he’s broke
you roll your eyes and head over to the cashier, buying the snacks and letting jisung follow you out onto the street
“here, but you owe me. i want,,,,,,red bean jelly tomorrow in class.”
you drop the drink into his open palms and grin, jisung feels something pull at his heart in the same moment
this is what a crush is like, this is what liking someone is?
“so, why were you in there if you had no money?” you ask, opening a snack with your teeth as jisung watches in wonder
it’s like you’re doing everything in slow motion, highlighted by a pink hue,,,,,,,
jisung thinks he’s going mad
“i uh,,, uh - uh,,,,,thought i lef-left something in there. from before. lost my keys, yeah.,,,,,”
you shake your head and motion that you should go back inside “should we go in and look together?”
quickly, jisung’s voice almost breaks, “n-no it’s fine.”
he feels like he’s reverted back to the shy kid who came to this town not knowing anyone, the kid who had no idea how to put words together, every inch of his smartmouth character had been obliterated by your existence
“i heard there’s going to be a new game coming out in the winter, alien zombies or something. it sounds cool, but id need to get a part time job-”
you’re talking, and jisung wants to listen because he knows what game you’re talking about and he wants it too, but again it’s like,,,,his heartbeat is too loud in his ears
you and him both turn to see renjun and haechan standing there
renjun has the soccer ball under his arm and haechan looks between you and jisung with an almost deceitful smile climbing onto his face
“oh - dude you should have told us you were going on a date~”
renjun grins know too “are you and jisung having a good time?”
the snickering between his friends makes jisung’s veins turn cold,,,,and suddenly he can talk again
“i don’t like them like that, we- we aren’t even friends.”
jisung looks at you and you look back, shocked silent because what- you,,,,,,you aren’t friends?
he gets up, knocking over the drink you’d given him. renjun looks at you worriedly and haechan just seems confused
without a word, jisung starts down the street. renjun gives you a meek wave as he and haechan chase after jisung
you sit there, the spilled drink pools around your feet
“we’re not ,,,,,, friends?”
that night, jisung beats himself up in his head
what were you thinking? why did you say that? did you think your friends were going to make fun of you? for having another friend?
no, they’re going to make fun of me for liking someone
he grits his teeth and knows that’s a dumb thing to think, sure his friends might find it a little funny but there’s nothing wrong with liking someone
liking someone doesn’t make you a nerd,,,,,,jisung clams up at the word. he doesn’t want to be a shy kid picked on by others,,,,never again
and worst of all he doesn’t want to get picked on by his friends,,,,but
but they wouldn’t pick on him for liking you - right?
jisung closes his eyes and he can still see your shocked face when he said you weren’t even friends. it makes his heart crack and out of it leaks a painful feeling into his body
the next day in english, you don’t look at jisung as he sits down at his desk
you don’t look at him when he fishes out the red bean jelly you’d asked and puts it on your desk with a small effort for conversation
you say coolly and look back down at your book
“im not going to eat something from a stranger.”
jisung spends the period with his head down, but you don’t feel bad - he said what he said and he meant it
that painful feeling in his heart seems to grow and even his friends notice, that jisung doesn’t have any funny comebacks. doesn’t have any new video games to share, doesn’t come to soccer afterschool
he seems,,,,,,,like the old jisung,,,,,quiet and meek
at some point, haechan gets it. he gets the rest of them together and they make a plan.
“i think jisung said something wrong.”
“thats not new” renjun sighs and haechan nods
“but he said something really wrong, renjun you were there. and now, we gotta fix it.”
that’s how you find yourself, sitting ontop of a desk in an empty classroom with chenle in front of you
he’s telling you about how he hasn’t been able to figure out something in the star wars movies. you listen and answer his questions, they’re not hard for a true fan
at some point the door opens and haechan motions for chenle to come
you raise an eyebrow “but im telling him something about darth-”
chenle slips out and is replaced by ,,,,,,, jisung
who as soon as he sees you, turn to open the door but haechan has already got it closed and you both can hear his voice
“talk to each other and figure out how you feel so we don’t have to look at your depressed faces anymore!”
with that, it’s quiet. you don’t know what to say until jisung goes “they mean me, they’re tired of my depressed face.”
you blink and open your mouth to say “what does that have to do with me?” but jisung answers that for you
“im sorry i said we weren’t friends, i regret saying it. sometimes,,,,i run my mouth without thinking.”
you try not to smile, but a little one spreads on your lips
“i do think we’re friends, i really do but i also,,i also,,,,,,,,”
you jump off the desk and the sound makes jisung stop
you walk over to him and jisung is as red as a stop light, right up to his ears
he searches your eyes for some kind of answer, grips the bottom of his uniform shirt in suspense
you lean in and jisung closes his eyes, he looks so fragile but - he doesn’t flinch backwards. he waits
and instead of kissing him on the lips, which you worry would spiral him into a heatstroke, you press your lips to his cheek
“also you like me right?”
his eyes open and he seems relieved, but also still highly embarrassed
he is about to say, “do you like me too?”
but you just take his hand and nod, because you do
how could you not like the boy who loves star wars as much as you and thinks he can beat you at video games when he really cant and who can’t watch what he says and who turns brighter than a rose in summer when you’re around him
and tbh,,,,the rest of his friends are so thankful that you two are ‘dating’
although neither of you much likes saying that,,,,,you’re more like,,,,,,like,,,,,,,,,yeah no you’re both dating but the word makes not only jisung, but you, go up in flushed flames
because you bring back that light to jisung, you make him outgoing and funny again
tbh you make him something more too,,,suddenly those little parts of shy jisung that still peeked through,,,are gone
to his friends, he’s only become funnier and brighter,,,and sometimes louder to their disdain
but his happiness is evident in the way that when you come around it’s like the goddamn sun has just burst out of jisung’s chest
you guys get stuck in your own world, talking about ‘geeky’ stuff, leaning over each other to see what new games are coming out, discussing the theory of another evolution of people somewhere in the universe
“it’s like they’re talking another language.” jeno explains and haechan just wrinkles his nose “aliens aren’t even real,,,”
you and jisung at the same time: yeah they are????
sometimes jisung realizes that he misses you
even though he saw you in school an hour ago, he only tells one person about this: mark
and mark just ruffles his hair and goes “that’s what you feel when you like someone, you want to be around them all the time.”
jisung thinks about that,,,,he thinks about how cool it’d be for you and him to go somewhere - maybe mars - maybe another universe - and explore together
he thinks it’s childish, like what is he in kindergarten playing pretend, but it makes his heart flutter too
he can’t take you to mars, but he can take you to the indoor amusement park, hold your hand and turn cherry red when you’re on the haunted ride together and you press closer to his arm
he can eat cheap ramen with you at the local park, his uniform jacket spread out for you to sit on
he can take you to the bookstore, geek over comics with you like he can’t do with anyone else
and he can see you in english class, looking nothing short of mesmerizing as you stare at the board
the sunlight that comes through the windows illuminates your hair, the color of your eyes
you do that little thing where you poke your cheek with the end of your pen and it does the clicking noise
you draw a little yoda on the pages of your notes
you look over and smile at him - it makes him melt every single time
“i know it’s not a lot, but i delivered papers for a week and got them this.”
jisung shows his friends the bear, dressed up as han solo
haechan coughs and renjun goes “don’t they want like,,,,a bracelet? chocolate? something romantic?”
but all his friends are wrong, you hold the han solo bear in your arms and almost cry,,,,,,it’s so cute
“han jisung?” you laugh and jisung thinks he might go dizzy with happiness that you like his gift
you lean in, kiss his cheek but this time jisung holds your wrist and you look at him questioningly
“can i kiss you,,,,,,,for real?”
you close your eyes and even with them closed, you can feel jisung’s hesitation
he must be staring at your lips, sweating but he does it
he kisses you and for a second you see stars, interstellar stars
and when you pull away from each other, jisung is wide eyed
you giggle and nod, “perfect. the best ive ever had.”
jisung’s newest favorite line is “hey, hey im the only one here who is in love so i have a better opinion on this”
you sometimes have to shush him before he says something smart to an adult LOL
you walk to school most of the time, and recently you’ve been bumping into jisung - who you know takes the subway
“oh, i didn’t know we’d get here at the same time!” he says at the gate and you smile, holding his hand for a moment while no one is looking
at some point, chenle let’s you in on the secret: jisung waits at the gate till you come and then pretends like he just got there
jisung almost dies everytime you kiss his forehead
literally he goes into like a dream like state
takes haechan three pinches to get him out of it
sometimes, when it’s the winter holiday and there are no tests, no homework, no worries for just a little tiny while
you and jisung talk about it, about how infinite space is and how it must be to not be pressured by school in some other dimension
jisung thinks you’re the coolest person he’s ever met,,,,and not just because he’s head over heels in love with you,, but because you understand each other
once, when you were growing tired and falling asleep with jisung still on the phone with you, you murmured that you hoped - even in another dimension - that you and jisung would meet
you were so sleepy you didn’t hear him say that across the infinite universes, he would choose you to fall in love with every time
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