What’s the matter baby? What are you sniffling about? What’s up? Come to mummy, what’s the matter now, what are those tears for? You were quiet 5 minutes ago, what’s the matter? You haven't done a poo have you? No? Then what are those tears for? Use your words now little one, calm down…Shhhhhhh… That’s better, isn’t it…? Now, Tell mummy what’s the matter? You’re being so fussy… I don’t know what’s got into you… What’s that? Your nappy? it’s wet? Well yes baby, that’s what it’s for… so your wee-wees and poo poos don’t ruin mummy’s floor. Come on now sweetheart, there’s no need for all this fuss over a wet nappy… What are you saying, you want mummy to change you? OK let me see, stay still now, let mummy have a look. Let me undo the snaps on this onesie, OK armies up, and over the head…Now, mummy can see what all the fuss is about. Hmmph, a little soggy here, but I don’t think this needs changing sweetheart… You want a nappy change because this one is wet? Are you sure baby? It doesn’t look very wet… Unless you’ve pooed, have you pooed and not noticed? You’re being awfully fussy, even for a pooey one… Turn around, No baby, turn around… let mummy have a look…Hmmph, your bum smells OK…Let me check the waistband… Nope… nothing to see here, no stinkies for your mummy to clean up! Well then, what on earth are you crying about? You want your nappy changed? Well I’m sorry baby, you don’t get to decide when you get your nappy changed. It’s not for little babies to decide things like that… No, It’s for mummies to decide. And I don’t think that nappy is wet enough to be changed. I can’t be changing you every time a little bit of wee wee dribbles out of you, I’d be up to my elbows in your nappies all day long if that was the case. No, mummy will decide when it’s time for a change. Stop sniffling! If you didn’t want to be stuck in soggy nappies all day, then you probably should have given the potty a chance. But no, you cried, and stomped, and screamed the house down when mummy tried to sit you down on the potty. Remember? You told mummy you wanted your nappies… What’s that sweetheart? Oh now you want to sit on the potty? Well, I’m sorry baby, but mummy’s busy now, she doesn’t have time to chase you around the house, hoping to catch your wee-wees and poo-poos in the potty. You’re back in nappies so mummy doesn’t have to worry about all the little messes you make. I’ve had enough of that for this week… And besides, you’ve got what you wanted, you’re back in nappies… Sigh…all of your little friends are using the potty, and you’re the only one still in nappies…I wonder why that is? Is it because you like wearing them? You're blushing! You do, don’t you, baby? Yes… you love being mummy’s little nappy baby, don’t you? You love to make, big stinky messes in your nappy for Mummy to clean up, and you just adore it when mummy lays you down on the changing mat, wipes away your nasty, smelly messes, powders your bottom until you smell delightful, and then lovingly tapes you into a nice, thick, fluffy nappy! You’re mummy’s soggy little nappy baby! Well little one, if you want to stay in nappies, that means Mummy gets to decide when you need changing. Babies in nappies don’t get to tell their mummies when they want a change… No, darling, It’s not up to babies, it’s up to their mummies, so babies have to sit in their messes until their mummies are ready to change them. NO baby, I’m NOT changing you now. No darling… unless you’ve done a poo, or that nappy is so full it’s about to burst, and you’ve got plenty of room for more of your little dribblings in that nappy. Now stop crying, and run along and play, You're not getting a change until mummy says so, and the longer you fuss, the longer that will be… Wait… are you… squatting? Oh baby… Are you so desperate for Mummy to change your nappy, that you’re trying to do a poo? Oh you silly baby, you can push all you like, but maybe instead of a change, mummy will make you sit in your smelly mess on the naughty step… No, that doesn’t sound much fun now does it? Hush now, here’s your dummy, now suck on that and keep quiet, Mummy’s too busy for your nonsense!
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