what are the guys' guilty pleasures? you can answer with any of them
thank you so much for asking twin!!! unfortunately for you i wrote fat paragraphs in return, i hope it's not too hard to read 🙏 valery: caring for felix. he's not sure if his feelings towards felix constitute love or pity or a horrible mix of the two. plus, their relationship goes completely against church doctrine, but there's something about felix that keeps him coming back. maybe valery is a hybristophile?? maybe it's masochism. maybe it's because he doesn't know how a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. or maybe he's just into fixer-upper cases, given his savior complex. valery knows there's only a downward spiral awaiting him if he stays with felix. but he stays anyway. casimir: most of his "feminine" hobbies, such as his interest in fashion and fragrances. through these interests, he's always trying to reach an unattainable standard of beauty that he believes will make others love him more. partaking in his hobbies gives him a sense of pride (he dresses better and smells better than the entire fugly curia), but also decreases his self-confidence (he can never be as beautiful as he once was, and he'll get ridiculed for standing out and being "feminine"). he knows about looksmaxxing and probably bonesmashes when he's upset. he uses social media, another guilty pleasure which is absolutely horrendous for his mental health. roche: since he isn't as guilty about beating other people up, i'd say his guilty pleasure is getting beat up. he associates physical punishment with moral absolution, not just for others but for himself. however, he also sees defeat as humiliating and emasculating, which explains why he's guilty about his masochistic tendencies. he compensates by over-the-top sadism (aka. beating others up). he almost constantly practices mortification of the flesh to repent for his past in the triad, but he's reluctant to relinquish all his ties with organized crime...which i could say is another one of his guilty pleasures. javier: food, definitely. javier was brought up in poverty, and food was difficult to come by. now that javier's financially stable enough to afford more than enough to eat, things have changed drastically. since he was young, food has been something that comforts him. now as a cardinal, when he's stressed he tends to overeat. he feels horrible for doing so, not just because of self-image. he believes he shouldn't be wasting so much food when half of the world can barely afford enough to scrape by. he'll suffer if he doesn't eat enough, and he'll be reminded of his past which he refuses to confront. he'll still suffer if he overeats, but hey, at least there's a fleeting dopamine hit. additionally, he's constantly guilty about his supposedly subpar manners, since he wasn't raised rich like most of the curia was. aloysius: stepping away from his stolen identity and attempting to discover who he truly is. aloysius has spent most of his life pretending to be someone else, and he hasn't established a personal identity. he's simultaneously afraid that he will be caught for his numerous crimes, and guilty that temporarily abandoning the facade will make him appear weak and sentimental. however, his pride demands that he be someone himself, instead of hiding behind the achievements of someone else. it's extremely difficult for him to do some exploration of the self, since he's under the threat of one million life sentences and possibly execution by firing squad if his identity is exposed. so he barely does it. better for him, anyway, since he's got a curia to manage and an annoying, doddery pope to put up with...
