charizzaaa

It's all about the moon.

[charizzaaa]

Also, did you notice how many people changed their blog name after sending you an ask? Guess the truth hurts. I like mine too much to change it, myself. Can you guess, without googling it, where it comes from?

Is it something to do with Skyrim?  Or Oblivion.... one of those games.  That's all that rings a bell. 

[charizzaaa]

I reckon you're the only person I've seen who actually gives an honest and rather insightful review of a blog without asking for followers or ad clicks. I could use some brutal criticism for mine. Also, here's an internet cookie for being brilliant:

Hey. 

In Real Life, I'm something of a writer.  An unpublished writer (except for a really, really offensive joke in a joke book once), but I've written for money.  Mostly I write poetry and short stories and things.  An honest critique? 

You repost too many other writers works, instead of your own.  I saw some writing on there that hasn't been reblogged, and I assume it's your own work.  Dude, you need to find your voice.  You're actually good at writing.  Really, you are, but your voice is pretty much "I need someone to love".  That's not what life is about.  Love is brilliant.  Love gives us many things, but if you're just focusing on looking for love, on that person out there that is your future, you're not focusing on who you are.  Write from your stomach, not your heart.  Love will salt your work, but don't let salt be the curry sauce, you know?

You said "Teach me how to swim".  Learn how to swim, and then find someone to swim with.  That's way more fun. 

In summary then; Good writer, still hasn't reached down and vomited the words out.  Gimme some soul.  

Worth a follow, though.  The topless selfies are a bit weird, mixed with the general theme of your blog. 

IF IT ISN'T YOUR WORK - 

Then sir, life isn't just about 'the one', and you're reblogging other people's needy requests for love.  Figure out who you are.  That's what life is about.  Someone will come along and want to share that. 

That's all the advice and critique I can give. 

[charizzaaa]

what do i have to do to get you to say what the original post was

Full nudes. And some cake. Then I would actually put some consideration into it. Oooh can I have an Xbox One and a new TV too please? Thanks.

[charizzaaa]

Do you think you'll ever tell what the original post said?

No.

[charizzaaa]

6 months. 6 months without an obnoxiously sarcastic ask response. Where have you gone :(

I've been working down the docks, selling my arse to sailors.  It's not been bad, I've been getting an average of £70 a time.  That said, I've had to give £50 each time to a man who calls himself 'Cuddles', or he says he'll break my ribs.  He's not very nice.  Not sure why he's called 'Cuddles', either.  He's probably nine stone dripping wet, and he's a nasty bastard.  He once did a wee in my shoe and made a cat drink it. 

That's not very nice at all, is it?  

I didn't think so. 

Anyway, down the docks, there's no wi-fi.  But, I enjoy my job, and sometimes I can afford to buy food.  I'm using the wi-fi on board an aircraft carrier that just docked.  The crew are using me as a wank sock.  

[charizzaaa]

Obama sucks pass it on...

No.  Obama is the best fucking thing to happen to America in decades.  The man might not be perfect, but he's a damn sight better than the alternatives.

[charizzaaa]

the original post was like lets get this to a million notes or something? hahaha was it? i remember!

No telling. 

[charizzaaa]

why you deleted this post /post/26977073458/reblog-if-you-love-johnny-depp ? :( now i can't reblogging anymore :(

It was never that in the first place. 

[charizzaaa]

warns the chum b4 i touch the bum

No capitalisation

No punctuation

Alphanumerical words

Nonsensical

Pointless

Something about bums

You just summed up Tumblr in one ask. 

[charizzaaa]

I'll talk about bums with you! Any particular bums you wish to talk about?

A Pterodactyl's. 

[charizzaaa]

I would flip if someone took my cheese to I mean I got it for me not for you to steal it bitch lol

Now now. You're just getting hysterical.

[charizzaaa]

wow you have got so many asks omg :D where are u from?

I currently live in the UK, but I was born on the shores of San Francisco, to a painter mother and a musician father.  We lived in a pineapple under the sea and lived exclusively off watermelon, which certainly prevented scurvy, but gave me terrible shits.  I moved to the UK when I turned 76 and I now live with the Queen.  She is my secret lover.  Phil knows, he joins in sometimes. 

[charizzaaa]

İşsiz? :D

Evet, ama sormak neden emin değilim. Ayrıca işsiz demektir. Ayrıca kitap ve film korkunç bir dizi Alacakaranlık, gibi. Bazı iyi kitaplar okumalısınız.

[charizzaaa]

just because you dont like 1d doesnt mean that other people can't so don't tell people to burn their stuff otherwise you won't be their friend thats kinda condescending

Not really. This entire thing is kinda tongue in cheek. I say 'burn the CDs' instead of 'go out and find bands that are actually worth your time and attention'. Bands that work super hard, bands that slog through, bands that take every ounce of pain or happiness or love or joy and push it into their music. Bands that tell stories.One Direction is a marketing tool, not a band. I have an inherent issue with that. So, no, I would never seriously suggest anyone burn any CDs. The Nazis kinda did something similar about eighty years ago and it doesn't really help. But I'm happy to tell people about bands they might not otherwise hear of. 1D won't be around for much longer, then their posters will come down from your wall, and they'll be forgotten. There. A serious post. Let us have no more serious post. Lets talk about bums.

[charizzaaa]

i love one direction....

Tell me what your favourite bits of One Direction are, and I'll tell you loads of bands that are much better, and far more deserving of your support that are in a similar vein. 

1D rip off bits from different places.  There is far better music out there. 

I'm on a one-man-mission to make people see that 1D are actually really rubbish. 

[charizzaaa]

Keep rolling like you do, or sway, Idc! You're funnaay dude!

What the fuck is sway?I just sat here for about half an hour, swaying back and forth. I tried it. But I'm on a train, and swaying backwards and forwards seemed to.... worry some people. They started moving their children away from me, muttering something about "mental" and "smackhead". I blame you, lilcera. YOU. Shit. The police have just boarded. I'm legging it. Wish me luck.

[charizzaaa]

I just wanted to say I read the message where you were talking about One Direction AND SWEET JESUS YOU TOOK THE WORDS STRAIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH! I used to be able to put up with them for a little while, but then they absolutely murdered Tennage Kicks. That is all, thank you.

Before that song, I'd heard... one other, I think.  Some acoustic bullshit about how he thinks a girl is beautiful but she doesn't and she does something with her hair and walks into rooms and stuff. 

I mean... come on.  One Direction is utter bullshit.  Complete fucking horseradish.  They contribute nothing, the band will fade away in the next year or so, and they'll spend the rest of their lives trying anything and everything to get back into private jets and screaming pubescent girl's panties. 

But what they did to Teenage Kicks (and even Blondie, and I'm not a huge Blondie fan) is unforgivable.