How to stalk your local LP!
Call the store. Ask to speak to the loss prevention department.
Me: āHi. Iām looking for a job in loss prevention and am wondering if youāre hiring now.ā
Them: āYes we are!ā (Great time to lift. Theyāre hiring. Which means they need people and if they still have LP they are just putting in their 2 weeks so they can get the hell outta there.) If they arenāt hiring, ask if you can still submit an application.
Me: āThanks! Who can I ask for when I come in and apply?ā
Them: āAsk for Johnny B Good. Heās our LP manager.ā
Me: āThank You!ā Hangs up phone. Goes on Facebook and looks up Johnny B Good. Finds him. Cute photo of him and his wife. Awe look. They have a new baby. Sweet. So heās gained some weight since 2010. Wow. Oh look at his 200 friends. Letās check them out. LP are close with not only their own LP but other stores as well.
So now I know that Johnny B Good is the LP manager at my favorite store. I also know what he looks like and can watch out for him when Iām in the store. Bonus. If heās the Manager, heāll usually be in plain clothes bossing the other LP around so you can find out who they are as well!
This saved me from getting caught one day. I was on the lookout for Johnny B Good and there was no sign of him anywhere. I continued gathering all the stuff I wanted to lift plus the stuff I didnāt. I was about to exit and I got this weird gut feeling. Not now. I strolled around the store some more. I noticed this guy in a green t-shirt who walked passed me twice and it looked like he knew the store employees. It freaked me out that I was being followed and I started dumping sh-t fast!!! I decided maybe I should buy a few things and take a few things. As Iām turning the corner, I look back at green t-shirt and heās chatting with guess who!? Johnny B Good!!! There he is!! Omg!! So I lift nothing, buy a few items and leave!! I go home and look at his fb again. Thereās green t shirt on his friends list!
They stalk you. Why not stalk them? Could save your life one day!!! Does Johnny B Good think Iām a lifter? Maybe. Or maybe just an airhead who couldnāt make up her mind. Who knows. I stayed clear of that place for 6 months!! When I went back I saw him again. He had no clue who I was. I knew who he was though. And thatās all that matters!
When calling another store they not only told me they were hiring but couldnāt connect me to the LP manager because they literally had NO LP at the time and were desperately searching! Yipppeeeeeeeee!!!! I went there 5 days in a row! Lol. Great Hauls.
Information is power. Acquire it, use it!
Johnny B Good = Fake Name. As if I even needed this disclaimer. Lol
This is the best thing ever
I just did this with Sephora lmaoo
Reblogging because i hate LP
i looooooove this













