What the hell even is gender

Yo i'm Charlotte or Charlie or Char. It depends what mood i'm in. Kinda feminine, kinda masculine, kinda non binary. Basically if you want to label me i'm lesbian non binary or just a queer person with issues. No idea really i'm trying to figure myself out still. There is a reason i'm working in a queer bar and not being normal in a 9-5 or whatever normal is.. She/her and they/them I guess.. This is a 1x1 account.