SOME JUNK I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY PLANTS WHICH MIGHT, IF YOU SQUINT, HAVE METAPHORICAL APPLICATIONS
It's okay to cut back, even if something is big and beautiful, if it's overwhelming you. You can chop back by a third with most plants without doing any damage. It's very daunting at first, seeing the absence, and you'll think you've made a horrible mistake cutting back something that was Good - but it will recover, it will even thrive, and you will be happier not having Too Much to deal with anymore.
It's also okay to give away a plant when you realize it's not making you happy. It's okay to replace it with a different plant that does.
Some plants just don't want to live with you. You can nurse them along, coax then, coddle them, and watch them get more and more ragged and miserable no matter what you do. It's okay. It's not necessarily you. There could be a draft you can't feel, the humidity in your house could be wrong past all fixing, or maybe its roots were rotten from the day you brought it home. You can let it go without shame. You tried. It didn't want to live with you.
Succulents want to be left alone. They are very pretty, they are very exciting, but they want to be left alone. There's nothing you can do to buy a succulent's love but put it in a window and walk away.
In fact, most plants don't need you to try as hard as you'll feel obligated to try. You might crush the first few with how much you want them to be happy living with you. That's okay. Learn from it. Don't try so hard. Water less often. Except for coleus and polka dot plants, those fuckers are thirty.
When plants are repotted, they don't 'do much' for a while. All the work is going on under the soil, where they are trying to put down roots in this new place, get their nutrients, get their botanical ducks in a row, as it were. Give them time.
One day you'll look around and the plant you thought was just kicking along in very dull fashion has doubled in size, erupting with leaves that lovely waxy bright green of babyhood. It will catch you off guard. Happiness always does.
If you break something, it's not necessarily dead forever. If you strip the leaves away from the break and put it in water, you have a 50/50 chance of it putting out little white roots like hairs. You can start again sometimes, and this time don't drop it getting out of the car.
Rotate your plants if they're not in direct light, or else they'll grow weird.
Everything wants water and light. You can give them water and light. It's just a matter of finding the right proportions for the right plant.
Seriously, leave the succulents alone.
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