char

she/her ☆ carpe jugulum

[zmpl]

charlie kirk is alive and they teach me lgbt spanish

[shitter]

absolute gold on Reddit today

[charliesarchivee]

The most annoying girl you knew in high school is actually still an emotionally stunted little girl because nobody wanted to be her friend and her disparity for human connection still leaks out of her every pore and continues to unsettle everyone around

[robothell]

there was a cloud shaped like bart simpson in 1852 and nobody recognized it

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[tref0il]

WHEN ON PERIOD:

do not crash out

your feelings are NOT valid

do not send that text

don't kill yourself. lock in

do not act on negative emotions until at least 2 days have elapsed

[charliesarchivee]

RIGHT

[toskarin]

thanks google

[rollerska8er]

there's 👏 still 👏 time 👏

[charliesarchivee]

reminder that using your voice doesn’t hurt your aesthetic

[swagophile]

I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like "wait a minute.. that's joe biden!!" amd he was like "welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!" and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like "That was a close call, Mr President" and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice

[lonelyroommp3]

someone just literally interrupted me mid conversation to tell me “what wonderful big dark eyes i’ve got” and on the one hand extremely flattering that she couldn’t even wait until the end of my sentence to comment on this, on the other hand did she have to say it like im the big bad wolf

[charliesarchivee]

I fucking HATE ai

[warriorprincesstramp]

you're so vain you probably think this vaguepost is about you

[kvassretriever]

[charliesarchivee]

Anybody else up feeling like they life is a prison that they are only let out of on weekends breaks and eventually when they go to university :33333333333 context is I’m lazy and hate school so much it ruins my brain

[synthlet]

[storybookprincess]

so a very long time ago, my dad worked with an arson investigator

this guy was often one of the first people on the scene following a suspected arson, once emergency services had done what they needed to do. at times, there were also civilians on the periphery. often, they were freaking out, and understandably so; their home or workplace had just, quite literally, gone up in smoke

this investigator wouldn’t try to calm them down. he wouldn’t comfort them or be a shoulder to cry on.

instead, he’d walk up to the person most visibly losing their shit, hand them a fire extinguisher, and say “hey, can you keep an eye out for any other fires, and if you see one, can you put it out with this?”

of course, there was no actual risk of another fire. he wouldn’t be on the scene investigating if there was even a chance that the fire wasn’t completely put out. but the bystander didn’t need to know that

because that person, without fail, would immediately pull it together, take the fire extinguisher, and stand guard. they were, at least temporarily, calm enough for this investigator to do this job

my dad has told me the parable of the fire extinguisher a hundred times, and i think about it a lot. i think about what it says about people and crises. i think about what it says about the grounding power of having a purpose. and i think about the importance of letting someone help me through something, even if that help is just going to be another casserole to throw into the freezer, because useless or not, that fire extinguisher might be the only thing holding them together

[escuerzoresucitado]

hello 🐙

[bogleech]

This is not anthropomorphization but genuinely something theyre known to do. I've heard divers say octopuses and cuttlefish get fascinated by hand gestures and will sometimes respond to them like. We probably do look like we have little cephalopods on the ends of our arms, to them. Like we're always putting on a puppet show.