cleo | she/her | 22
hello! nfl (bengals, mostly), very rpf heavy, some nba.
questionable rpf takes and even more questionable sports takes.
my love for ja'marr is critical so if you too are like that come say hi <3
feel free to send any type of asks!! i love yapping about my thoughts :)
joemarr moments | joemarr meta | answered asks | my writing | nfl tier list
can i offer you some 23rookies/mike polycule mess real quick:
Mike snuffles the way he does, a crinkle of nose and shuffle of beard-covered chin that makes Chase go a little moon-eyed sometimes, endeared and charmed in spite of himself.
“So I gotta ask,” Mike starts, slurping his melted ice cream, uncaring of it dripping over his beard, “Uno and Burrow—that a thing?”
Charlie snort-cackles into his cone of devil’s piss, a little mean like he usually is when he’s comfortable with you. “Boy, what?”
Mike stares at him long and—well not hard, but a bit like disappointment. Like an ache he didn’t expect to have.
Andrei rolls his eyes and chucks a pillow bulls-eye at Charlie’s stupid face, ignoring how his salsa-vanilla-horror-shit-show spills all over him and the cotton and the floor and a bit over Chase’s sweats.
“He’s not homophobic,” Andrei saves their redheaded disaster with grace he honestly doesn’t deserve, “he’s just a dick because he tried flirting with both of them and got put down so badly it was fucking embarrassing.”
He sings fucking embarrassing like Olivia Rodrigo, hitting the pitches perfectly even if he’s raspy as hell, and Chase kind of hates that he actually knows what song he’s singing—memories of being curled up in the back of Andrei’s van with the doors wide open, tucked under Charlie’s armpit, buried under thick quilts, sipping watered down absinthe, letting Andrei blare that shit right into his fucking ear.
Bug-eyed and jaw hanging open, their new Tight End offers no replies or platitudes—unlike Ossai, who tried to offer his therapist’s hours with actual an discount he sharpied himself on paper napkins through his snotty laughter and tears. BJ was the one who saved all of them from themselves, a time before they knew that Chuck was kind of a psychopath and shouldn’t be trusted with jokes at his expense at all, really. He’d have taken the offer and painstakingly tangled Ossai’s therapist in a pyramid scheme of unknown evils from sheer pettiness alone.
“Did you—” Mike tries, “did you not know or…?”
“He knew,” Chase says, amused as he helps tug Charlie’s sticky shirt off and mop all the mess, “he’s just dumb as all fuck.”
Charlie shrugs, a vision of carelessness complete with vanilla and tomato bits sticking to his skin, “I didn’t really give a shit if they were together, they were hot, just wanted to shoot my shot, you know?”
“I can see why you’re the one catching balls instead of slinging ‘em,” Mike huffs around the rim of his IPA now, lips spit-shiny and beard still with ice cream drying on it.
Charlie points at him with his scrunched up soiled tee, “You joke now, but you’ve never played me at darts.”
“You say that like you’re actually good at it,” Andrei squints at him, all confused puppy charm with his new floppy mullet curling from the heat.
Charlie tackles him.
–
Chase huffs, trying to shake loose the tension in his shoulders. God knows his physical therapist pokes and prods at him to quit tensing up so much but fuck if the thought of—of talking about the future with Charlie and Andrei makes him want to hurl.
–
Chase is in charge of getting flowers, Andrei has the chocolate and the bear, and Charlie has strict instructions to make sure Mike is distracted for the next 2 hours that Tee (bless his kind and tender soul to not ask questions and Tee enough that no one bats an eye at him lurking around no matter how suspicious) can swipe his apartment keys. Charlie’s brand of manic charm keeps Mike away from his own home while Chase and Andrei set up the most romantic dinner in his humble little dining room with his own set of mismatched china and table cloth.
(“No, it’s not creepy or weird Tee, fuck off and steal his keys for us damn it.”
“I already told you I’d do it, why the hell are you telling me all this for fuck’s sake, now I just wanna call the cops on you.”
“Tee.”
“Dont ‘Tee’ me. I’m not the crazy one here.”)
The blooming pot of white flowers he has no idea the name of but looks gorgeous and would compliment the hell out of the high of Mike’s cheeks is held proudly in his arms.
It’s huge, half his body-up is covered by it, It’s potted—though maybe rethinking it he should have gotten it in like those plastic bouquets? Isn’t that how it usually goes? But the florist had just given him the pot and he was kind of intimidated by the idea of asking for it in a plastic wrap—like is that worse? Is it a downgrade? Would he be judged too harshly for asking something probably cheaper for a date? He isn’t a cheap date. He spends half his signing bonus on Charlie’s weird obsession with basketball arcade games. All those coins accumulate, holy shit. The other half on Andrei’s equally weird obsession with any photomatics they come across on their dates. His wallet is filled with what felt like hundreds of little photo papers of Andrei with cat whiskers stamped on his face, fake gnawing on Charlie’s own face decorated with strawberry seeds and a stalk.
He walks out the parking lot and smacks into something right away because of fucking course he does, how can he not?
“Hey Chase,” Joe says, the exact cadence of voice like every other time he greets his guys and the cock of his head Chase can imagine even if his view is obstructed by the spring of flowers all up in his eyeballs. He’d wonder how Joe could tell how it was him but being 6’4 probably gives him the perks of looking at the crown of Chase’s head even as his face is all floral, which—
Okay, yeah, he can’t stand the fucking plant. He shoves it right at his quarterback and damn the man for being perfect because he automatically grabs it from him and the thing doesn't cover his face at all because he’s blessed with a long torso and long arms, so all it does is frame the underside of his face like he's the surprise for a loved one. Fuck him too he guesses.
“Hi,” He greets back brightly, hands to his hips and begging telepathically not to ask please for the love of god.
Except he’s not Ja’Marr Chase or Tee Higgins, so:
“What’s with the flowers?”
“We’re courting Mike,” Chase says flatly, not even bothering to lie, straight out like that’s a normal thing to say when it’s known he’s already happily dating two men. And it is, actually, a normal thing to say, so fuck that.
To his credit, Joe barely blinks at his declaration. But then again, he barely blinks at anything except Ja’Marr Chase crying, so.
His quarterback looks bemusedly down at the plant shoved into his hands. Chase is kind of itching to take it back, but something is stopping him. He’s smart and self-aware enough to deduce that he kind of wants his approval—something about him being the running back to Joe Burrow’s quarterback or some shit, he doesn’t know, sports, man, sports—and his advice, because if this man bagged the world’s most complicated, most hard-to-please, most outrageously high-standard-ed diva wide receiver in the league not named Stefon Diggs and kept him, he’d better have some good ones.
Case in point:
“So you decided to get him a bereavement plant?” Joe asks, squinting down at the plant he's being forced to cradle.
Chase freezes, because that word better not mean what it fucking means goddamnit.
“What—what do you mean bereavement plant? What the hell is a bereavement plant? Did I get him funeral flowers?”
Joe stares at him, “Well. Yeah.”
They spend the next good minute mutely looking each other in the eye. You can always count on Joe Burrow to give a long good stare as you rearrange your thoughts.
“Give me those fucking flowers I need to burn them.”
He gets handed back the flowers.
“Why would you choose white lilies anyway? Most people stick with roses.” Joe asks, like the absolute bitch he is. Chase knows what he’s doing. He can read the smirk behind the flat of his lips, even if he’s trying to hide his mean girl persona under the cover of Joe Cool to the universe. How the hell does he even know what type of flowers these are. Is he fucking with Chase. No, he wouldn’t damn it he’s not Orlando.
“Because they looked pretty!” Chase says shrilly, knowing he sounds hysterical and so-the-fuck-what, “And they looked like something he would like! How was I supposed to know those were funeral flowers? What do you usually get Ja—right. Those purple fleur-de-lis.”
He snuffs out the freak out quick and done because he knows exactly what’s coming—nothing better to tamp down your rising hysteria than the knowledge that your captain is about to spout the most bullshit romantic garbage you’ll probably ever hear in your entire goddamn life on a random Tuesday in Ohio of all fucking places.
“Fleur-de-lis,” Joe corrects, a curling smile tugging his lips and a tilt to his chin like there always is whenever he talks about the apparent love of his life, “Purple irises. Hope, wisdom, trust, and valour. Perfect for Ja’Marr.”
“Ugh, shut up.” Chase groans. Why oh why on earth did he ever admire this man ever so much when he’s nothing but a lovesick dork.
Purple flowers, fresh and bright and pretty and light, delivered like clockwork every three weeks to the bengals locker room, tucked under ‘1 CHASE’ since 2021, distracting the rookies for the first few times it gets delivered before it just—gets too much and gets blocked out of their minds for their sanity. The first time Chase sees them bounding into the room he sniffs around confused and charmed before it got fucking ridiculous real quick, actually.
“To be fair,” Joe says, and Chase braces himself for another bitchy thing to be slapped with, “I don’t think Mike would know they’re funeral flowers. He thinks it’s hotter the higher you are in the mountains.”
And, god, what the hell does Chase even say to that. His taste in men is shit.
One thinks people’s emotions are to be played with and manipulated like playdough he has to stop himself from stabbing him sometimes, another is unerringly good at subconsciously using his looks for everything there has got to be a level 1 DEFCON trauma related to that that Chase feels so shitty even speculating about at times, and now—an actual dumb blond, it feels like. But they’re all his, goddamnit—or will be.
Will be.
Joe stares at him evenly, like he knows exactly what Chase is thinking of. Fuck. Is his crazy eyes showing through. Sydney tells him to constantly chill the fuck out, but he’s not here to cool him down now is he. He’s in fucking Philly wearing tight crop-tops and testing the waters of wearing booty shorts. The hell is Chase supposed to know whether he’s toeing past the line of normal and gets inches away from getting dragged to a shrink.
But the thing is, like always really, Joe just huffs low and amused, like he likes what he sees, like he wants it by his side—and Chase is just reminded all over again how he’s kind of willing to die and kill for this man, how he kind of wants to stay and share his crazy because it’s not crazy at all, is it, with him?
“Give him the flowers,” Joe says, tapping the pot Chase is gripping too tightly, “tell him don’t look it up.”
“That’ll make him look it up.” Chase says automatically.
“Then you’ll have something to talk about,” Joe says easily, clasping his shoulder then slipping around him to his car, “and get to buy him more.”
Well he can’t argue with that, really.
///
my characterization of them if u will bc i know that one paragraph is like a slap in the face like the hell are you talking abt cleo:
(disclaimer rpfffffictionnnnnnn :"))))
charlie : a bastard a dick a prick a psychopath someone not fit for public consumption. proof: that time andrei said smth abt new years resolution? i think idk how he doesn’t wanna say smth like but didn’t finish his sentence and said him just being better in general and that’s crazyyyy what the hell did he do 😭, the time he tried to escape the socmed palming the helmet thing clear distrust ish idk he screams crazy and unhinged to me but in the opposite end of the spectrum with chase's brand of crazy like he has ISSUESSSS but whatever u know he's also a brand of when you're it you're it taking mike to the zoo driving him around what the hell do u mean.....he's mean but sweet do u get me
chase : adhd no? also: crazy eyes. just legit crazy. heavily exuberant all over the place one minute you’re talking about a and he’s talking about a and he’s taking over and pushing everything to talk about ab and ac and ad pushy and shameless about it. okay this last part is mostly my own narratives tbh. but he does have crazy eyes i cant let that go like he's so. soooooo. he's like a feral kitten tbh and wholly unapologetic about it. proof: every miced up moment of him tbh, bowling into the endzone even if there’s literally nobody there to stop him and when drew called him out on it he just laughed etc etc sooo sweet and loud like that's what them all work they're all just so sweet you know
andrei : sweet summer child with some issues that I’m stamping onto him just because he’s pretty idk. raspy as hell voice. sooo nice and kind and flirty with everyone so its kind of understandable he’s the socmed admins fav tbh. pushing on narratives to him: people pleaserrrrr. this is where it gets ???? because hes not like this i swear i just write him like this: insecurity issues. am i just a pretty face or am i actually good. chip on shoulder from said pretty face. oh god did i get here from pretty privilege or. but at the same time: sometimes hes like. subconsciously taking advantage of what he has to get what he wants and oppressing it so he knows what he’s doing but he doesn’t know what he’s doing do u get me. but nah he's really sweet and genuine and honestly the people pleaser thing feels very real tbh 😭
mike : the dumb blonde thing is kinda mean but my god that vid of him saying its hotter the higher u r in the mountains. my god. my godddd. but nah other than that he’s funnyyyyy p sure i said this before but like. his humor? 100/10 fits perfectly well with the 23 rookies which is why they want to bang him so bad. i kind of like the idea of charlie being so taken with him bc mike is so incredibly chill abt his crazy which is why the others followed suit lmao. he's so sweet :( that moment with the ig comment 'dinner on me forever' and charlie butting in are u fr :(((
idk tbh the vibes here are more hmm unrealistic? and not even just the rpf aspect of it!! like idk why i made them to be so very flawed people. but i felt like writing them like this so 😭 but i was happy to write anything anyways so. bye 😭
oh i don't know flowers btw :( i just look them up and hope for the best :(((
More thoughts because i'm obviously not done with Today
but like...ja'marr's been talking about wanting to be more of a Leader after getting this contract. hell, i would argue he was displaying a lot of leadership last season and even the season before that when joe went down! he's been known to get the guys in the right position on the field, tell them what route joe needs them to run (without joe having to say a word to him! btw!) and encourage and help them after the play is done and they're sitting on the bench together!
and now today, with the different twitter videos of ja'marr actually leading the WR drills, cheering on the younger guys, and!!! the biggest thing, leading the huddle, which he's never done for the whole team before! (he's done it with just the WRs plenty, but this is EVERY GUY on the team looking at and listening to him!) and you can SEE how visibly just like...giddy he is throughout the whole thing?? excited?? nervous?? but he does GREAT. all the guys (not just joe, which i was primarily focused on before for obvious reasons!) all of them looking at him with such fondness and joy as he does it!
so yeah, he's been wanting to be a leader, but he's also been NERVOUS about it too. in previous interviews he's talked about how it doesn't come naturally to him. how he can be more reserved and mostly has just wanted to let his play do the talking. and i mean we all remember that Adorable moment when joe tricked him about the coin toss before the titans game?? when he told him last minute that zac wanted him to do the talking (and then grinned to himself for ten seconds while ja'marr freaked out about it before telling him he was just kidding <3) so yeah, we can infer that making this step is something that DOES scare him a bit!
but, again, he did it!! he did well leading the drills, he did well leading the huddle!! he was scared, but he did it anyway (and isn't that how we all grow??) and i dunno maybe....in keeping with the theme of doing things he Really Really Wants to do but has been scared or hesitant about before, he looked at joe (who was clearly doing some combination of sweetly congratulating him and teasing him at the same time), and just said "fuck it" and hopped on over there and lifted him straight up in a huge bear hug 🥹
missed you cleo <3 always exciting when you stop in during a Certified Bengals Moment. hope your stressful real life stuff is going as well as possible!
carmen!!!!!!! hello!!!!!!!!!!!! i missed youuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i adore you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
always Excited to pop by and scroll through all the tags (especialllyyyy yours!!) and go holy shit because truly every Certified Bengals Moment is just. holy shit. they do keep me sane and happy i can't lie <3 (studiously not looking at contract issues)
and thank youuu i too hope youuu are doing great and stress-free!!!!!
sooooo funny that shedeur was passed on TWICE by the giants and not to be #fullofmyself but i think its bc the universe feared the shit i could cook up with shedeur as maliks qb while travis and jayden seethe 🙂↕️🙂↕️
im obsessed with ja’marr chase. “there was no plan, you can’t really plan for this, but the plan didn’t really start until after the season and then the plan didn’t always go to plan”
