CHASHE

Africa, music, motherhood, feminism, living in the diaspora,... Let's TALK about it!

[chashemusic]

HIFA 2015; Articulate!

I dreamed of playing HIFA when I was a girl. My mom used to take me to see the theatre in the park they would have on, and I so longed to be in the performing arts, to engage people like that, to give them something they could take home in their hearts and hold on to. Every show was always so impressive and inspiring... I DREAMED of playing HIFA when I was a girl and a few weeks ago it actually happened!!

It’s a huge social responsibility, I feel, to uphold a standard that has the power to inspire a younger generation of people in love with the arts. I felt very honoured and nervous and excited to be able to do that in my hometown.

And Harare was just amazing.

People were so responsive and easy to interact with live, it was like performing with family. The festival itself was well organized - runners and volunteers were on top of things, there was great quality sound engineering, stage crew helped everything run so smoothly, and the media team never slept! Chemistry with the band, Tinashe Makura and Anton Morgan was ELECTRIC, I just wanna go back in time and relive it all... or rather, do it again next year ;)

The other performances I saw blew me away. I got hit with new waves of inspiration watching the likes of Beatenburg, Tariro neGuitare, and listening in on Salif Keita and Hope Masike. And the ART. THE ARTS GROUNDS. I have no words for just how incredible the artworks were. There is talent to an inconceivable level in Zimbabwe. It is a real privilege to see.

I am so thankful to everyone who came, everyone who danced and sang along, everyone who helped us to get there, EVERYone who tweeted, posted and brought a friend! I am most thankful to my family who bent over BACKWARDS to support me through it; my mom and husband had to bear the biggest brunt of it and I will forever be grateful. To be surrounded by people who love and support you no matter what, is no small thing.

Thank you HIFA, for bringing Arts and Culture to life in Harare, year after year. (and for making 12year old me’s dream a reality)

[chashemusic]

Dare to Fail, or Wonder? - life in the creative arts

Should I have just been a lawyer?

Most people I know who work in the creative arts have, at some point, wondered about this. Maybe not lawyer per se, but a profession more ‘stable’ and secure. We sometimes wonder if it would have been better to go with what our parents likely suggested and done something ‘real’ with our lives. And I confess, every now and then I do wonder if that would have been the better road. The easier, less frightening road.

I came to a crossroads at 17, after being accepted into a Law program in one city and a Music program in another. My moment of truth. Was I really going to commit my life to this crazy thing where I’m actually a musician? Needless to say I chose the latter, and reasoned with myself that I’d rather make the mistake of choosing to do what I’m really passionate about and potentially fail at it, than make the mistake of always wondering what could have been.

Years on, I look as the people I went to school with and some of them are doctors, lawyers, accountants... pilots! And one cannot help but wonder, “could that have been me?”

But alas, everyone is on a different road. You are on your own road, whatever you’ve chosen to do with your life, and honestly there are drawbacks to every career choice. And this thing where we compare ourselves to other people, whether it’s work, status, relationships, happiness!.. It’s not a good thing! Comparing oneself to someone has never ever led to a good outcome. Drawing inspiration from someone’s success on the other hand, is a plus, but it’s important to recognize the difference.

Being in the creative/performing arts is up and down, stability comes in seasons and you can never be sure what you’ll be doing next. But as my SO likes to say, “there is something to be said for people who just do what they love.” And I have to say, every time I’m in the presence of really great musicians giving life to amazing songs - sometimes my songs - in that moment I am reminded that I am so happy this is my life.

To my fellow musicians, I say never forget that feeling, where you hear something so great it feels like flying and you are a part of it. Even when you’re not sure where tomorrow’s cheque will come from. Especially then.

I am resolving to be inspired, and aspire to be better on My road. Cause 8 years on, I’d still rather fail than wonder.

Compare if you dare ;P

[evergreenring]

GloZell shows why cultural representation is so important (x)

[chashemusic]

Happiness

A friend of mine asked me about a week ago if I was happy, just straight up. Simple question really, but it forced me to evaluate my wellbeing and question what that really means anyway. I believe I responded, “Sure, I’m happy and not happy... same as everyone. Right?” 

This is actually something I have continued to wonder about now; is anyone like just happy, consistently? Does that happen?

My friend had a theory that happiness comes in spells, sometimes long, sometimes short. That helped me put it into perspective. Yet, somehow along with this comes an external pressure to be happy anyways, but a certain kind of continuous happy. I just wonder, as an adult, if that can be anyone’s reality?

Then there is a pressure on social media that doesn’t help. A pressure to share the good things, the glamorous things, the casually ‘just for fun’ things. Vacations, promotions, cute kids. And that’s great, it’s great to see how people band together in likes at the merriment uploads. I’m happy for them! But it also makes it that much harder to share what is just real, and not awesome.

I would like to take a moment to share that at present, I’ve been down. And I think that’s normal, all will be well, but I just hate the feeling of having to cover that up with quirky glam-posts and it feels good to just say it. To share it. Some mornings I feel brilliant and wake up singing, other mornings I don’t get dressed if I don’t have to. Just keeping it real.

With that, have a great rest of the week! Don’t be afraid to share how you feel. 

[chashemusic]

For the Kids

Last year, I wanted to read my daughter a book that addressed loving and appreciating yourself as you are. In particular, I was looking for a book about hair and girls of colour. See, my daughter is mixed, and when it comes to hair & beauty, the struggle is real. One of the best ways, I find, to normalize something for kids is to externalize the issue and point it out in the world, a la “see, everyone goes to the potty. See, everyone has to wear clothes.” My thing is, “everyone’s Different is beautiful, see, there’s yours over there!” the problem is finding the books...

I remember one afternoon in particular, starting my mission at the public library. I was there well over an hour and the best I found was Dora, and another on the civil rights movement. And one about “dat nappy hair”. Maybe one about slavery. Point is, in libraries with books well into the thousands, finding some with kids of colour just being kids, shouldn’t be a mission. In book stores and libraries, with thouuuusands of stories! And the librarian really tried to help me, searching other branches in the city!! Anyway...

People can say what they want about how self-appreciation begins at home, from the parents, so on and so forth. But lack of adequate representation of one’s own image in the media all around has a big impact on the way we view ourselves. It just does. Every few months I joke to my friends that I’m just gonna start making my own short stories. Not political ones, not ‘black history’ ones, not to prove a point. Just stories. Stories that are fun, with adventure, stories that my daughter and many others could see themselves in. See themselves as part of the norm, learning, making mistakes, having fun. (Also, diversity in literature is healthy for everyone. Yes? Yes)

I know I didn’t see myself in stories when I was growing up. But with all the media-tech we have at our fingertips these days, I’ve decided why the hell not. So last week I drew up these guys! Joanne, Fadzai and Penelope. Marking the beginning of a new story in the small library (so far) of children’s books with girls (or colour) just being girls!

Cause “if you can’t find something you’re looking for in the world, make it yourself.” - same reason I write music.

Thinking I will call it... The Miss-adventures of Penny and Friends... or something.

*Coming Soon! Story One is under way.

**representation of everyone in media is important, I am not suggesting the group I have chosen to focus on is most important, just that it’s important to me.

[chashemusic]

Stretch Marks and All!

I am 24 years old. I have bothered myself about 'flaws' like stretch marks for a good 8 years now. When I think of all the remedies and oils and special massage techniques I’ve bothered myself with… for years and years, genuinely believing that the results would show collectively over time... it makes me want to hit myself. Meeting unreal beauty standards seems to be a common waste of youthful energy, and when it comes to stretch marks.. I doubt anyone even cares! Does anyone actually even care about stretch marks or is it something we impose on ourselves as an imperfection in big need of “fixing”.

Mine first showed up when I was about 16 then made their waves when I was 8.5months pregnant (mind you, after rubbing my belly twice a day with special oil for well over 30 weeks imagine my surprise)! After the baby came I liked to think of them as like tiger stripes, or something amazing that went along with what my body had just done! Thunderbolts even.

They were coolish! But still, there's that odd voice that comes from god knows where, whispering to “get your body back”… and yes yes with hard work one can certainly get in shape again, but skin? WHAT can realistically be done about that? Not much. Yet the standard holds itself up; “must be smooth.” I want to blame the media and super hot celeb moms for planting this idea in my head, but at the end of the day the buck really stops with me.

They say that women grow and blossom in confidence and sexuality as they hit their 30s or so. I for one certainly do not want to arrive at the peak of my LIFE still carrying hang ups about body image. Add to that, I now have a little girl to set an example for! But oh how very important this whole skin thing has been…

So it is with a heavy heart that I unsubscribe from the standard of beauty and surrender my dream of android skin. Here’s to self love. Stretch marks and all!

At the end of the day, they’re not going anywhere. Might as well throw out the oils and make an attempt to embrace them!!

THE END.

[chashemusic]

Taking Strides!

So. I was busy with the annoying task of backing up my photos of my baby to free up space to… take more photos of my baby, when I came across this. There’s a 100 things I feel about this exact moment and it has given me the most epic flashback. 

My bundle of joy came to me during the senior year of college, born in the actual final semester. Looking back I have no idea how on earth I did that and actually GRADUATED at the end of all the drama, but I did.

See, the thing that tends to follow, along with the bundles of happiness and joy, is this… feeling... that you can’t/haven’t/will not accomplish as much as you could before. Call it hormones, call it over-thinking, but everyone has their own version of baby blues and this was mine. Especially at that age (21!!). It was just a few minutes before finding this picture that I was having a solo conversation in my head about “what am I doing with my life!” you know those? And then this moment in this here picture just got me!

I think that we tend to be very critical of ourselves, so critical that we rarely ever stop to just recognize that which we have already achieved! Any new mom knows that getting anything at all done in the infancy phase is like riding into the sunset on a unicorn. With wings. But this moment, I did that. Just want to take a moment to shine a light on it.

Growing up we are told that one of the worst things that can happen to you as a sexual being is to get pregnant, and that once you’ve had the baby, life is essentially “over”. I grew up believing this brainwashing mess of a message, however now that I am a knowing part of the statistic, it is a very ridiculous and negative message. I absolutely refuse to stop dreaming, I challenge myself to keep dreaming even when a typical Friday night involves wiping wee or some other body fluid off of… well anything really.

Point is, moments like the above, are not completely impossible and over when a baby comes. So, don’t stop dreaming, even if all you have the strength to do is just dream. (*That being said, if you are able to wait till after school for kids… waiiiit. If not, that’s not gonna be the end of the world).

For me the challenge continues… what am I doing with my life? I’M being a musician, mom, teacher person. And that’s final!!  

Moral of the story I guess is look to yourself to create your future, notice your achievements and let them help you push forward!!

  The End.

*not sure how i would manage any of it without the love and support of family, so an extra high5 to those who take on this challenge alone!