Steve: Can we finally finish the party?
Steve: Now that we’ve spent a week in Bora Boring and found no sign of Peter Wanda Or Y/N only to find out we were tricked because they used Strange’s portal to go to THAILAND AND THEN ITALY at which point MJ proceeded to conspire with STRANGE to get us to spend an entire POINTLESS WEEK IN THE BAHAMAS with SAND IN MY ASS and then COME BACK TO THE HOUSE FOVERED IN WEBS FORKS IN THE CEILINGS WANDA PETER AND Y/N LOCKED IN THWIR ROOMS BECAYSE THE DEMONS ANSWETED THEIR CALLS
Tony: Are you done?
Pietro: The demons didn’t answer their calls…they detoured to New Orleans for some ayahuasca
Steve:
Steve:
Steve: WHATBDKBLB I GO N IN BUF HDJ THNKITUBFIVMIK IKLKOLLPLLL
Tony: Did you have to do that?
Pietro: I was craving some hell
Pietro: It was way too pacific out there in Bora Bora
Clint: Are you telling me they went to Thailand, Italy and Ayahuasca?
Bucky: Is that a place?
Bucky: I thought it was cough syrup
Sam: That’s Ayurvedic, you moron
Nat: Don’t forget New Orleans…
Clint: Just ‘cause you fucked those vampire bitch boys over there doesn’t mean the rest of us need to remember…
Pepper: Guys, what the fuck
Pietro: Excuse you!
Clint: I didn’t know she could curse…
Clint: Did you, Tony?
Tony: I didn’t program her to, no
Tony: Friday, what’s up with model 63479?
Pietro: I hope that’s not the number of existing Peppers…
Pepper: Ignore him, he’s bullshitting
Pepper: Is anyone going to tell me why the house is covered in knives webs and blood?
Clint: Y/N Peter and Wanda had a little party
Tony: And now’s our turn to finish ours, so you can go
Pietro: #uninvited
Sam: #ohshit
Tony: No, he’s right, she is uninvited
Bucky: #whatthefuck
Clint: Is there a breakup happening in front of my very eyes?
Pietro:
Pietro: Are you gonna cry?
Scott: Is there something in your eye?
Thor: Tears, perhaps?
Steve: Will you all ever stop milking that?
Sam: FUCK NO, it’s one of our hits
Y/N: It’s so not
Steve: Y/N! YOU’RE ALIVE!
Pietro: Cue the rib breaking
Peter: WGO’s BREAKING Y/N’S RIBS?!
Wanda: The rib breaking HUGS
Pietro: Buzzkill
Pietro: NOOOOoooo Wanda not the Bbbeeeeez
Pietro: bvveeeeezx hmvhdbnk gikop
Strange: Nicely done
Wanda: Thank you 😈
Bucky: Someone just broke Sam’s ego…I will be forever grateful.
Steve: Will there ever come a time when they don’t fight?
Tony: That’ll be the end of times
Steve: That’s depressing
Tony: Is it?
Nat: Some of us find it quite amusing.
Steve: That’s even more depressing.
Y/N: Barnes, you’re making Steve cry
Wanda: Evil Y/N
Y/N: I prefer Neutrally Chaotic
Clint: WHAT is that rachet?
Pietro: Don’t you mean ratchet?
Wanda: Or wretched!
Vision: I’m fairly certain he means racket, for I too can hear it.
Tony: Oh come on, Barton. How come you’re the only one allowed to play theme songs really loudly?
Clint: Don’t go calling the Star Wars song theme…it’s my lifesong.
Nat: Is it now?
Clint: What Y/N is playing is a deathsong.
Peter: Whose death?
Peter:
Tony:
Tony: Does anyone know what’s wrong with Peter?
Steve: Did you forget to pay his therapist?
Tony: Is there anything I forget to pay?
Sam: My allowance
Bucky: And mine
Pietro: Mine as well
Tony: Shut up.
Pepper: Let them unwind. Death music is healing.
Tony:
Tony: Friday, find out which Pepdroid is malfunctioning.
Nat: Pep-what?
Tony:
Tony: Nothing
Clint: That’s it…I’m going to Y/N’s room.
Wanda: Take another step and I’ll kill you in your sleep.
Clint: That’s still a few hours away, I’ll be fin
Clint: gdeteuh huswgok Co oljf
Tony:
Steve:
Tony: That didn’t sound good.
Steve: It didn’t sound bad, either.
Tony:
Tony: Yeah…we should just go for some ice cream.
Steve: Good idea...death ratchet or racket, it is deafening.
Tony: When the favorite bands tour again, I’ll buy them tickets for the whole of it…crime solving will increase nationwide and our eardrums will get a reprieve…win-win.
Steve: Hell yeah. Wanna race me to the car?
Tony:
Tony: No?
Steve: Too bad.
Tony:
Bucky: WAIT! I WANNA RACE!
Tony: Too bad.
Bucky:
Sam:
Bucky: IM GONNA KILL YOU!
Sam: Gotta catch me first
Bucky: RAAAAAAH!
Y/N: This is too fucking good.
Peter: I know.
MJ: Are you all okay?
Ned: We should take them back to Bora-Bora…clearly they didn’t stay long enough.
MJ: Yeah…I’ll hit up Strange. Bring them around in an hour?
Ned: Yup.
MJ: Alright, I’ll pack my scuba gear and see you there.
Ned: Guy in the chair out.
Wanda: We’re highjacking, right?
Pietro: If we don’t, I’ll die.
Wanda: Wouldn’t be the first time
Pietro: Thanks, sis.
Wanda: I’ll get Vis to wipe our tracks.
Pietro: Will you ever let him come with us?
Wanda: no
Wanda: I don’t want to end up kidnapping a village and reenacting a sitcom…I’d much rather highjack portals and be single as a Pringle
Pietro: If you’re single, I’m dead.
Wanda: You will be 💀
Pietro: 🙄
Steve: Why’s everything so quiet?
Tony: Maybe they went to bed
Steve: What, at 11pm? Higher chance of them being dead.
Tony: Friday, where are the kids?
Pepper: They left with MJ to pay Stephen a visit.
Tony: I thought I said Friday
Pepper: Fuck off.
Tony: Right back at you.
Clint: That’s what you get for making Pepdroids.
Steve: I think they’re gone again.
Tony: Where?
Steve: Vision.
Vision: If I tell, Wanda will never marry me.
Tony: I won’t let her marry you if you don’t tell.
Steve: Ha!
Tony: Not helping, Cap.
Vision: They said they were going back to Bora-Bora, that Peter and Y/N hadn’t stayed there long enough.
Steve: Do we really have to go, Tony? For all we know, by the time we get there they’ll be in Oslo or Ibiza
Tony: Would you let your cat go unchaperoned to Norway?
Steve: They’re not cats?
Tony: Are you sure about that?
Steve:
Steve: I guess I’ll pack my bags
Tony: Good.
Steve: Great.
Tony:
Steve:
Wanda: I think it’s really going to work out this time…
Pietro: The part where we make Y/N and Peter better or the part where you make Steve and Tony make out on the beach?
Wanda: Both.
Pietro:
Pietro: 😶🌫️