hold on, steady stand

[chavdog]

is johnny depp dead yet

[chavdog]

thank you spain for making messiyahu cry and showing argentina up as boring arse bullies 🫶🫶🫶

I have enjoyed watching football but I can't pick a league club to support bc all the shirts are ugly so this might be the end of my football enjoying.... we'll see

[chavdog]

just watched news and they got the dept labour leader on and shes banging on about it like they've won an election and not just switched out the lego head again 🤣 and on emphasising that the labour party endeavours to represent the interests of all of the uk, the dept labour leader really brought her point home by saying:

"I spent my last ten months going all round the country- Scotland, Wales, London....and elsewhere"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

anyway im just glad they're gna get drilling. thats all anyone's talking about- i really wish the labour party would drill more in the north sea!

you talk to any "ordinary person", as labour politicians like to say, and top 5 I reckon ordinary people are worrying about in order of priority is like:

1. why arent we drilling the north sea to fuck

2. these extreme weather conditions are scary and none of our infrastructure can cope with it

3. why doesn't the NHS work

4. got no money or housing security

5. we should get a bank holiday for how well england played last night

[chavdog]

my neighbours are listening to me play westlife at 11.30pm bc its the only disarming music I could think of while my wife is out and I just watched smile 2 and I am scared of everything and also my cat has zoomies which is always unsettling as he moves in such a way that makes him sound like a five kilo galloping centipede

how i feel sat on the side of the bath brushing my teeth, watching my cat battle cry his way around the house for no reason waiting for him to start climbing the walls or look at me and crack into a toothy smile while we listen to world of our own again:

[wifegideonnav]

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

[chavdog]

messi just seems like that popular bully at school that beats people up bc he can't read

[stickyfrogs]

There has been another Important Family Meeting on the Ledge! Betty sat on the Angus Couch and Long Frog attended in his Trousers of Courage!

[chavdog]

now that i have unfortunately indulged in football i understand why men get so upset. like im not gna beat my wife about it but I do want to break messi's legs. and also kill myself

[lupismaris]

Do it scared but please don't do it hungry. Please don't do it dehydrated. It's gonna make it so much scarier. Please.

[accordionlover]

cross stitch, words from Jenny Holzer's Livings, 1980-1982

[chavdog]

my clients after I warn them for months they gna be taken to court if they dont pay council tax when they get taken to court for not paying council tax:

[chavdog]

received an email that was so good for my professional self esteem today.

a client I detest has put together truly the most astoundingly shit appeal about a housing decision- something i could have done with him, but hes instead got chat gpt to churn it out, it is completely incoherent and largely irrelevant and hes literally fired it off green tick boxes n all and without filling in the [add xyz] boxes 🤣🤣🤣

Meanwhile, i am literally at his disposal because he asked to keep referral open when I suggested closing it bc they hated all my advice and his elderly father haaaates me bc i .... give neutral advice without feeling sorry for him... and I havent heard from him in 2 months.... i have also not had an unsuccessful appeal in these circs bc i know WHAT I AM DOING AND THE PEOPLE MAKING THE DECISIONS AND THE GROUNDS FOR IT.

alas, i open my emails and i am cc'd into this man's sharted out delusions. this man in all his astonishing arrogance shat gpt'd what reads like a suicide note about how his daughters and more importantly his dog hate him, how he was marginalised for being the 'only male in the family home', and how his wife abandoned him bc he abused her but he "worked to death" for his family

not only funny to read but also includes absolutely nothing that will impact his appeal whatsoever 🤣🤣🤣

and it's just a healthy reminder that you cannot trust a man to tell the truth about the weather let alone anything important like his life or how he burned it down and would rather blame literally every girl or woman or dog around him hahahaha

[chavdog]

doing the math on opting out of my pension scheme (am i insane or enlightened....), getting a backdated 6% pay rise (taxed of course, scrounging hmrc bastards) and also getting hammered by bibi's 2 weeks on stat sick pay..... it's a good thing i can't do the numbers bc morale is HIGH/delusional rn in our house as I have got us down as in profit....

[shes-unforgettable]

This is my new favourite image ever

[captain-price-returns]

[saintsideways]

welcome to the UK it’s thirty fuck degrees outside max data is 4g (doesn’t work) and WiFi won’t load anything except ads on instagram. Costs £40 to go outside.

[chavdog]