The Girl in the Middle

The amazing adventures of sico mali. A teenager who once dreamt of being a Disney Princess when she was seven years old. Got a weird nickname at eleven. Had that puppy love thing when she was fourteen, confused at sixteen and woke up at seventeen. Hoping at eighteen. Twenty and definitely not ready to adult.   (25)

[chaytealotte]

one year and three months—

[yms1]

Don't try me. I'm the kindest rude person you'll ever meet.

[vervae]

When she innocent but naughty just for ya, that’s when u kno u found the right bitch

[chaytealotte]

a note to you from my ♡

well, hello tumblr - a world that have known all of me but haven’t really met me yet. all these years with you have been amazing. i am basically here because i like to write words - words that i do not have the courage to tell the reality i live in. i always have plenty of stories to tell but i’m afraid people around me will have to suffer from the pressure and ear popping pain from diving too deep to know me.

yes, you guessed it right - i overthink, like alot. it has been a character of mine that stuck with me thru the years. well it’s obvious for you haha and i know you have heard my stories, and you think it’s amazing. well thank you. but it’s good that is stays here.

this place has been like my neverland, its as if i still feel like my twelve year old self, scrolling thru, reblogging, liking posts, sharing funny little snippets of my life and sending mails back and forth to stranger friends. it’s a place that makes me want to stay in and be forever young but we live in world where we have to grow up.

but you know what, i’m still happy that i’ve grown up. because i get to see the world clearer - i’m still not as tough as i wished, but hey, progress is still progress as they say. i’m still carrying the heavy baggage of my little girl - but i’m okay, because someone came to help me carry it - he does mind it sometimes and bothers him, but he is willing and trying and i can see it. and i appreciate it. 

life hasn’t always been easy out there but i want you to know, that even though the life has scared the shit out of me every time - i still enjoy it. i’m still living my every day the best as it can be.

i wanted to write you a letter to let you know i miss you but i also want you to know that i’m okay.

i’m okay. 

[chaytealotte]

I do not love you Just for the sake of loving. But because you have given me Tranquility on days Where I have given up on myself.

MY ANTIDOTE; Sincerely, F.S Yousaf

[chaytealotte]

the more you care, the heavier the heart when you lie in bed.

how i sleep when i love

[chaytealotte]

the older i get the more i get cheated on by the world..

[chaytealotte]

ykw

the future has been a really scary topic lately...because whatever you decide or do today - right at this moment, will affect your tomorrow.

I haven’t been really the type of person to look forward to my future, plan shit and stuff. I wasn’t one of those who actually knows what I want to do, I don’t have a set goal...really. I just have wishful thinking’s- you know. Stuff that are nice to have and see when I’m in my 30′s but I’m not really sure if that is what I really want.

Alot can change in a year...what more if it’s been five or ten years. I have alot of things that I am unsure of, my career, my relationship with people, what I really strive for...

I am so young to be pressuring myself like tomorrow is my last day of twenties. Lol, okay- bye.

[chaytealotte]

I haven’t written in a while, and it’s a good sign. I usually end up creeping back to my tumblr whenever I’m down. And it’s been months that I have been away. I’m glad.

(I just visited because I miss typing long ass words hahaha but I’m happy now, finally.)

[be-artistic-deactivated20230306]

[imwritingpoems-deactivated20200]

you feel so much like home

[fawnry]

[chaytealotte]

i never really understood myself

[chaytealotte]

its sad

[chaytealotte]

i never really understood myself

[chaytealotte]

iba pala talaga pag pareho kayong committed- to make everything work, through ups and downs, no matter what. you both strive for that good future, for yourself, for themselves, for the both of you. you grow individually together. i believe that is what partnership truly is about.

we ain’t perfect, yes- nobody is. there aren’t always good times, one can be also selfish with ones feelings on a situation, one can be disappointed at a point, but through understanding, patience and communication, we make it work.

we’ll keep making it work;

life will always be a struggle, a relationship will be a struggle, and just like what good ol’ man  harry said in Before We Go- there will always be a struggle; you just have to choose who you struggle with.

and here i am, with my man- the love of my life; the one i chose to struggle with.

[chaytealotte]

well. well.     hello motherfucker. today, it’s our second. and here i am, still deeply in love with you, even more so. you’re the one i always miss, the one i always crave for- especially, the hugs and kisses. you’re the love of my life. it was a simple but still special day, it was rather normal, we started our day with a goodmorning call, i love you even more on morning like this, mornings of us. You went to my house, you had your lunch and there i sit across you, eating a skippy peanut butter sandwich while we talk about things, random ones, or stories ‘bout the days we were apart. we sat by our sofa- i like to call it ours, ‘cause that’s where we spent our first, and watched Hintayan ng Langit. we talked for hours, annoyed the hell out of each other, and as usual- I get matampuhin with like everything. how are you so patient with me, my love? you make me love you even more. i love days like this with you, just having you there, beside me. wish i could hug you more- longer, tighter. and kiss you- one more and another one, and another, and there comes another. i just want to keep holding your hand, stare at you. simply just to be with you for hours. it's perfect. and you know what; boi, you make me love you even more.

happy second, love of my life

[chaytealotte]