Eren ● ○

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Eren ● ○
Let’s play ball.
JErenay :: Jackass & Baby Doll :: 1 :: The Affair
✯ ѕиαρ συт σf ιт✯ Jean entered the room wearing his usual cocky grin, standing in front of the woman that was currently sitting on the couch watching t.v. Tossing a diamond ring into her lap haphazardly, he let out an amused laugh. "You might wanna watch the Mexican lady you just hired. She's stealing shit.../Mam/." Turning on his heel as if he was going to leave, Jean stopped himself; turning around to sit on the couch beside her. Despite the rule that he wasn't allowed to be close to her, he didn't care. "You married him for his money...right?" ---- Seeing the blond male enter the room, the brunette figuratively strapped in and waited to be aggravated. Before she could even say anything, the small ring landed in her lap. She picked it up and examined it. It was her wedding ring. You'd think she'd be happy to have gotten it back but it honestly held very little meaning to her and it was just one of many, /many/ rings her jewelry box held. She thought she loved her husband, at least more than others, but when it came down to it, it was hard to love someone who she could barely see or even talk to. He was gone most of the time, leaving her to the mansion by herself along with their many workers. "Oh.. Thank you." She smiled, looking up at him before sliding the ring back down on her tiny finger. When he came back her way, she said nothing and scooted over to give him room on the couch, expecting he just wanted to sit and relax for a second. When he spoke, she wanted to be offended but as cruel and heartless as it sounded, she kind of did. The money, power, and the rebellion against her father is what drove her to marry an older man she barely knew. "Excuse me? What makes you say that!? You know /nothing/ about me, him, /or/ our relationship!" ---- Jean laughed at how offended she pretended to be, he knew that it was all a front to make her feel better about it. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." He muttered, his cocky grin disappearing. The male raised his hand hesitantly before resting it on her thigh, most people would expect that he had a death wish from treating his boss this way but he had been picking up on her body language for awhile and could tell that she was practically starved for attention. "Must be lonely, he's never home. I can imagine he's not very good in bed either." He taunted, leaning in a bit closer. "How longs it been since you've had an orgasm?" He wasn't sure whether she was going to hit him or not but he half expected it. "I could rock your world, baby." ---- Dismissing his torment, she rolled her eyes and looked away off to the side. When she felt his hand grip at her thigh however her body quivered and as much as she wanted to knocks his lights out, she just froze. "You wouldn't know the half of it." She huffed, still avoiding eye contact. "And you definitely wouldn't know /that/ either. I love him and I can't wait for him to come home. I don't need a little snot-nosed boy like you to 'help me' with my 'problems." It wasn't unusual for her to treat him as though he was a child even though he was only two years younger than her. Taking her finger, she pressed it against the tip of his nose and pushed his face away when he leaned in closer. "That's no business of yours, little boy. Now run along and go play before you get yourself in big trouble, okay?" ---- Letting out a roaring laugh at her response, Jean shrugged his shoulders. "You're such a bitch," He cooed in a sing song voice; the way he said it made it seem like less of an insult. "But fuck, you're so hot." Jean went cross eyed for a second when her finger went to his nose. Retaliating, he threw his arm behind her to rest on the back of the couch and scooted in closer. "I bet you're so wet right now, from the way you're squirming it seems like you want me." Leaning in for a second time, he used his finger to tilt her chin upward. "Come on, you'll feel better afterwards and no one will find out...It'll be our secret." ---- She retained a cold, hard stare at the other as he laughed. "You're a comedian." Though his remark was kind of offensive, her cheeks glowed a crimson red. There was no denying he was more than attractive. Way more than her husband to say the least. Every word that spilled from his mouth was alluring and caused her to have unfaithful thoughts. "I, uh..." Her small hand pressed against the other's chest as he leaned in once again to keep them at a distance. She was close to cracking and she hated it. She longed for attention and Jean was always willing to give it to her which was the main reason she never fires him or even tells her husband on him. But even when he was able to 'woo' her, he was still an idiot. "I think your time would be better spent cleaning my workroom." The room where she kept all of her drawings, supplies, tools, and materials that she used for designing which was her secret hobby that she used to spend time since she wasn't allowed to do anything else such as housework to pass the time. All she had to do was sit there and be a pretty trinket for her husband to come home too. As 'thrilling' as it sounded, it was actually boring beyond compare. "You really don't want to do this. If he found out you were even this close to me, even if you weren't trying to sleep with me, he'd have your head mounted above one of the fireplaces." ---- Clicking his tongue, the large male shook his head and continued to move in closer. She was so small in comparison; he felt like the slightest wrong move he made he could snap her in half but it only turned him on more. The dainty, princess type woman had been the center of all of his fantasies recently. "I'll clean your work room /after/ we're done." He suggested, one of his well groomed eyebrows raising slightly. "Can barely focus on work until you relieve me." He teased, palming momentarily over the bulge in his jeans. "You have no idea how bad I wanna do this." He wasn't afraid of her husband even though he probably should be. Grabbing one of her delicate hand she and bringing it to his mouth, Jean pressed a series of kisses to her knuckles. Afterwards, he dipped one of his hands between her thighs to tease over her panties. The tight dress she was wearing barely left anything to his imagination but he found himself wanting to rip it off of her. ---- Blushing, the outspoken female was left breathless. She found her body going limp against the armrest of the couch the more the tall male crawled over her small body. Letting out a gasp, her eyes traveled down to where he was palming himself. "Filthy..!" She hissed under her breath, still not showing any desire of pushing him away. "Why wouldn't you be able to relieve yourself? /Or/ that maid you were talking about earlier? Why do you need me?" She questioned as if she were making a point, but really she just wanted to hear how badly he wanted her. The kisses over her knuckles made her smile gently. Now, her back was completely against the cushion of the chair. Her small hand cupped the other's cheek as if to hold him in place overtop of her. "I don't know... Maybe just this once... Would you be able to keep that secret you were talking about? We can /never/ talk about it after." Her leg rubbed against his side, making the short, tight dress ride up more to show more of her thigh. "/Just/ this once." She purred, cupping the back of his head to pull him in closer for a deep kiss against her soft, cheery gloss flavored lips. ---- Jean laughed at her remarks, knowing that she wasn't even trying to move away from him. "Why wouldn't I want you? You're the sexiest woman I've ever laid eyes on-... I want you so bad." He admitted, practically begging. "Of course i can..." he muttered, his piercing hazel eyes meeting her soft green hues. "Although... I think you'll want me more than once." He teased playfully before leaning into the kiss; her soft lips causing him to practically melt on top of her. One of his hands slid under the fabric of her dress to pull it up and expose her pelvis. The large blond tugged her panties off and flung them aside. "we should do this here, Itll be hotter thinking about someone catching me with you." standing up, he quickly shoved his jeans and boxers off to expose his already hard cock. "why don't you be a good girl and get it wet for me." Erenay was practically untouchable, carrying herself like royalty, so the idea of her on her knees for him made jean want to cum instantly. Wrapping a hand into her brunette hair, Jean dragged her roughly onto the floor in front of him. ---- Smirking at his cockiness, she shook her head. "You're so sure of yourself. But like you said, I just need a little help... Then I should be fine. So don't get ahead of yourself." Her voice was kind of shaky, as she was nervous while her small hand reached for his, taking it by the wrist and bringing it to her chest for him to grope. Closing her eyes, she stayed against his lips and drowned out the sounds of anything else, even his voice until he brought up the possibility of someone walking in on them. Erenay jumped back slightly as her eyes opened wide. "What-? I'm going to have to pay them a /lot/ to keep them shut if someone does..." Stealing an extra kiss, her eyelids fluttered at his request. It felt really weird. She thought she was going to be the dominant one during this one nightstand of an affair, but she oddly liked him calling the shots. It felt more wrong for some reason. Dropping harshly to her knees, she gave him a small smirk as she held her arms close to her side with her hands in her lap enough to squish her breasts together to tease him. "You're going to get a kick out of this, aren't you?" She laughed, gripping the length of his cock with one hand. She gave it a few good strokes, not breaking eye contact with the other. "You're so big... A lot bigger than my husband." She smirked and moved her mouth over the tip and nothing more to tease him more. "You're going to wear a condom, you know that, right?" After letting him know how things were going to be, she finally wrapped her lips around him and bobbed her head down to the middle of his length, moving her one hand in the same direction her head was bobbing and making pleasing humming sounds along the way. ---- Jean gasped slightly when his large hand was led to her breasts, gently sliding his hand under the fabric of her low cut shirt to give a gentle squeeze. "You have no idea how bad I've wanted to touch these..." He admitted, tugging at her bra gently. He'd had multiple fantasies about the woman that was seemingly out of his reach but after tonight he'd realized she wasn't. Humming slightly, the large male let out a soft laugh at her remark. "Good thing you have a rich husband." He taunted, a cocky grin plastered to his features. Jean practically melted at the stolen kiss; softening up a bit with her for a few seconds before returning to his dominant posture. Staring down at her, it was hard not to stare at her breasts. "Of course I am...you're always so bossy, now it's my turn." Sighing in relief at the sudden pleasure, Jean's toes curled and he laced both hands into the female's hair to tug gently. The compliment made him laugh and he nodded, staring down to make eye contact with her. "Hopefully I don't hurt you then. I'll try to be gentle with you." Moaning sharply at her lips on the tip of his cock, he could barely believe this was happening. "Uh huh. I figured someone as uptight as you wouldn't let me fuck you raw." He teased, but his cynical comment quickly slipped away as the pleasure came over his body. His hips thrust gently to force her to take more into her mouth until her quiet humming noises turned to slightly choking sounds. The sight of her taking in his length made him want to come right then; especially since he was so used to her bossing him around. It made this much more satisfying. "You look so pretty like this..." He muttered, placing his thumb against her cheek to pry her mouth open. "Come on, baby.." He muttered, pulling her up off of her knees. When she was back on her feet, Jean yanked the dress off and quickly pulled her bra away. His mouth going to her breasts to press quick kisses and bites over them. "Fuck, your body is perfect-" Shoving her down onto the couch, he gripped her hips roughly and pulled her body back against his so that he could kiss at her neck. "You really gonna make me wear a condom..?" ---- "Mhm." She hummed in a sarcastic tone while continuing her head motions. He was so sure of himself as though she wasn't able to handle her. It both excited and annoyed her. Her brows furrowed and her eyes looked up at him in a menacing way when he forced her to gag while her teeth lightly grazed against the top and bottom of his cock. "Stop being so demanding." She went back to blowing him for another minute, letting the sweet sounds he made encourage her along the way as she sped up her pace. Erenay stuck out her tongue to show off the bead of pre-cum to tease her swallowing ability. "You sure you're not a virgin? You're pretty quick, Kirschtein." She sung. After swallowing, she jumped to her toes and helped him help her undress. Her body had curves in all the right places. Something she had to have going for her considering she really was nothing more to her husband than a 'trophy wife.' "I know." The brunette giggled. Looking up at him, she wrapped her arms around the male's waist and reached into his back pocket where she's seen him stash his condoms in the past. "Duh. I'm not dealing with a mini you for 18 years. I already can't stand having you work for me." Cupping the back of his neck and pulling him back down onto her chest, she hummed as if she had an idea. "Well. Maybe not. I could take the pill... If you promise not to finish in me. If you're a good boy, you can finish on my face though." Her right eye winked, showing off her long eyelashes. ---- The slight scrape of her teeth on his length was enough to make him let out a sharp moan. "Fuck..! You're really good at that..." he admitted his eyebrows knitting from the pleasure. When she teased him with the sigh, he bit his lip and attempted to will himself out of cumming just from the image alone. "You're such a bad girl, teasing me like that. You don't know what you're getting yourself into." Her cockiness only managed to work him up more, practically able to wait for his change to be with her. Laughing softly at her joke, he shook his head. There was no way he wanted to have a child with her either but he was willing to take his chances just this once. "Mhm, I'm not fond of the idea either." Tensing up when he felt her reach behind him, Jean relaxed when he felt her pulling him down on top of her. "Oh yeah..? I like the sound of that, baby." He admitted, smirking when she winked. Shoving her down onto the couch even further, he rested one of his knees on the cushion while the other remained firmly planted on the floor. Gripping his length, he rubbed the tip against her clit to tease her. One of his hands groping cupping her right breast firmly as he pinched at the nipple. "I should make you beg for me, you're so wet..I can tell you want it." Pushing the tip of his cock inside her just enough to tease, he watched the female's face closely before gently working himself inside of her. Practically choking from how good it felt, Jean let out a raspy moan. "Fuck you're tight...the old man must not be fucking you good enough." ---- The friction between the two of them made her squirm. It felt so amazing to be handled with after what felt like months of nothing. Even when Levi was home everything seemed to go by so fast before he left again. Or the days he was in town he'd be too tired to do anything at night so she honestly couldn't remember the last time she had any intimate interactions. Frankly, she felt like a virgin. "Please..." she gasped, pushing her body back against him to take more of him in than he was giving. "Stop fucking teasing me and just give it to me already! You're the one who wanted this so badly...! So take it!" Small tears beaded up in the corner of her eyes when he finally gave up the act and let loose. "Ah, fuck!" She gasped, moaning lewd sounds of pleasure when he'd hit a certain spot. Her weak arms wrapped around his neck and her long nails slowly left claw marks down his back. "You feel so good, baby..." the pet name she was trying to avoid slipped. "A little like- /yes/ like that...!" She was very vocal and instructive in bed. She knew just what she wanted and unlike her husband, Jean knew just how to give it. One arm stayed wrapped around him while her free hand cupped over her breast, showing off the nipple piercing she recently had done only a week ago. "You're seeing these before my husband has even gotten the chance to." Her lips clumsily clashed against his for a second. "This is so wrong." She sung in a seductive tone. ---- Jean watched as the tears collected in the corners of her eyes, partially shocked that she seemed to be crying but mostly egotistical that he'd managed to get her this worked up. "It's okay, calm down, Princess." He teased with a scoff, kissing her fully on the lips while he waited for her body to adjust to his. Annoyingly enough, his heart soared at the use of the pet name but he shook the feeling off; focusing on lust rather than how well they fit together. The woman's almost screams were enough to encourage Jean to be rougher, slamming his length into her as hard as he could without causing pain. "Such a loud little thing!" He muttered, watching her play with the little silver piercing for a few seconds before cooing excitedly. "Oh yeah..? I'm honored. Looks fucking great on you." He admitted, reaching down to replace her hand with his own. He circled his thumb over her hard nipple before squeezing at the jewelry gently. "You look so pretty underneath me, I bet you'll look even better with my cum all over your face." He was far from getting off, but thinking about the sight made him anxious. After a few more thrusts, he pulled out and sat down on the couch and yanked her into his lap. "Ride me, I want to see what you can do." Holding his length for her to sit down on, Jean wrapped his arms around her and kissed over her soft breasts; nipping small bruises into her ivory skin. "Tell me how much better I am than your husband... I bet you've never had dick this good." ---- The soothing tone he used when he calmed her was kind of a shock. The one time he could take total control over her and he uses it to be sweet and gentle. Erenay didn't expect such compassion to come out of him during all of this. Especially with the kiss. It almost made her feel bad for how hard she is on him. /Almost./ Her small body quivered with every touch. The sensitivity from the piercing was a new feeling since it was still in the healing process and she didn't have time to fully enjoy the new sensitive spot. Giggling at his assumption, she shrugged. "I guess we'all just have to see then, huh?" Hugging his body down, her teeth dug into the crook of his neck as she tried to show some kind of dominance herself. "You taste and feel so good... who would have thought I'd actually be enjoying this with a snot nosed brat like you?" She was always such a prize in her own eyes and loved reminding those who got her in an intimate way that they were lucky to be in their shoes, even for just a second. Lining herself up with him, her hands gripped his shoulders, massaging him before she made any further movements. "Why don't you make me say that?" She taunted, rolling her hips in his lap slowly before she finally sat down completely on it, then repeating her motions. "Oh, fuck yes!" Her long, manicured nailed dug into his shoulders. "You're definitely better than my husband... I know I'm souly just saying this in the spur of the moment but I /wish/ you were him so this wouldn't be just a one time thing." She reminded him. Her motions were getting shaky and slower. Her thick thighs quivered and her high pitched moans grew louder. "This is too much..." she hissed before she closed the gap between their mouths again to suppress her sounds. The word 'Daddy' slipped passed her lips. 'Shockingly' enough, the gold digger had a daddy-kink and Jean fit the role way better than her husband. Possibly because of his height and the fact he was bigger than her. She loved being in his embrace more than anyone's she's ever been with before. ---- He wasn't sure whether he hated or loved the way that she somehow managed to compliment him yet put him down at the same time. Scoffing at the remark, he let out quiet gasps from the love bites she was placing over the crook of his neck. "I guess you're just desperate." He muttered in a dismissive tone, thoroughly wanting the conversation to end. He knew he was lucky to be getting this but he didn't want to admit that. Relaxing as she massaged at his shoulders, the large male started to feel comfortable with her. Leaning into her touch and pressing gentle kisses to her face to urge her to keep going. When she taunted him, his hands went to her hips to massage circles over her hipbones with his thumbs. "You're going to be saying it. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be begging for more." While he probably seemed too confident, he knew that sex was the one thing he was good at. In all honesty, he was a mediocre butler. He hated the job and really only stuck around for the money. But this was an added bonus. His body shivered from the friction and his toes curled up; desperate sounds of approval leaving from beyond his pursed lips. When he heard her becoming louder, he knew she was almost done but the whisper of the pet name shocked him. He'd never been called it before and definitely not by someone who was practically royalty. "Oh princess, you sound so desperate." He taunted, not sure how to react at first. Holding the small female in his broad arms, Jean pulled her down against his chest to hold her close so he could do the work. Thrusting upward into her, he bit a large hickey against her neck to distract himself from cumming. "Are you gonna get off for 'daddy'? Come on kitten," The name sounded awkward coming out of his own mouth but what he knew about daddy kinks was limited and he was trying. "Show me how good my dick makes you feel...I want you to cum for me."
cute little bunny tongue!
Please don’t ever forget
BUNNIES
THEY ARE LITERAL
CLOUDS
OF FLUFFY
FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF
HERE HAVE SOME MORE FLUFF
and some more fluff
…….and some more
did I mention fluffy?
……………………………….
One day I hope to be as dapper as PuiPui, The World’s Most Stylish Bunny.
Erenay’s Confrontation
The confession Jean had given to Erenay last night left her feeling really torn down. The whole day she felt like the world was weighing on her shoulders. She knew she had to make a decision however it was pretty obvious what she was going to do already in her mind. She knew she was going to forgive him and give him a second chance, but she didn't want him to think she just so easily forgot about it. Getting married was out of the question for now so that's something the two would have to wait longer for no matter how much she wanted it to be yesterday if anything. All of the over thinking didn't just leave her emotionally drained, but physically as well. The pregnancy wasn't helping her with back problems anyway and she just wanted to fall into a soft bed and sleep. However, Jean offered to give her a back massage which she of course accepted. Grabbing the massaging oil from the bathroom she went back to the bedroom and dimmed the lights. Not to make an intimate surrounding for once, but just to help her blaring headache.
"Jean..!" She called to the other room for him to come. By the time he was in the room she was already laid down on her side due to the pregnant belly making it nearly impossible and even uncomfortable to lay on her stomach. She was topless and had the oils on the side table ready for him. "If you were serious about that offer... That'd be great." She turned her head to offer him a sweet smile. Although it was forced, she was good at hiding it.
"So... I was thinking all day. I know it's really soon to make a final decision so I'm not really sure what I'm doing exactly. All I know is I'm not going to leave you for this. But you're on eggshells." She informed him before closing her eyes and holding out her hand for him to grab and hold.
----
Jean had been terrified how his girlfriend would react to his recent confession, he was sure it was anything but easy for her. The fear that she would leave him was overwhelming but it was nowhere near as bad as the guilt. He regretted it all and if he could go back and change it, he would. But sadly he couldn't and the most he could do was reassure Erenay it would never happen again.
When he'd proposed the idea of giving her a back massage, he was more than happy she accepted but the idea of talking about things quickly turned his excitement to panic. But if she wanted to talk while he massaged her...it had to go well, right? Hearing her call out to him, Jean quickly stood to his feet and moved towards the bedroom like an obedient puppy.
The sight of her topless was enough to drive him nuts but he knew that coming onto her was out of the question and he didn't want to push her. Especially with how pregnant she was, he knew it was a bad idea. "Of course I was serious." Jean sat on the edge of the bed and reached for the bottle of oil, rubbing some on his hands so he could lather it into her soft skin. “Gorgeous,” He purred happily, taking a second to lean down and kiss a stretch mark that had been forming on her hip. It was easy to tell that she hated them but in a way, Jean loved them. And her smile made him smile, even though it also left an uneasy feeling in his gut.
"Yeah..?" He muttered quickly when she mentioned thinking about the situation. His hands worked over her back nervously as he kneaded his palm against her to work out any knots. Jean bit his lip and stopped as soon as he heard her decision. “You’re sure…baby, I-i don’t want you to rush into anything with me…” He nodded, realizing he’d have to work hard to make things work. It was probably obvious that Jean was being more of a suck up than usual, but he didn’t really have a choice. He made a huge mistake and had to make things right. Grabbing her hand, jean leaned over her to peck a quick kiss to her lips. “I won’t let you down…I promise. I’ll win back your trust.” He had every intention of going to ridiculous extents to romance her. Especially since she was due to have their son any day now. It would be easier once she could do more. “Maybe we should make up rules or something...or at least talk about stuff that we need to change to make /us/ work. And…I’ve been thinking about this a lot today…maybe we should try couple’s counseling or something-” He went back to massaging the small of his girlfriend’s back before shaking his head defensively. “I only say this because my therapist suggested it.”
----
When she felt the warmth of his kiss against the stretch marks, she instantly put her hand down to cover the marks with her palm. "Oh god- no. Please don't look at those... I've been putting cocoa butter on them so they'll hopefully fade once I get rid of this stomach..." She wasn't sure why he was bringing the marks to her attention. Normally, she felt relieved with his compliments but right now it felt like he was just pointing out one of the many flaws that forced him to go seek intimacy with someone else. Deep down, she knew that wasn't the case, but her self-consciousness was eating her alive right now.
"I am sure." She nodded and bit on her lip. "I guess we're kind of even now. I lied to you about the pregnancy and now- this. So... Yeah." The way his hands kneaded into her aching spots caused her to purr happily. It made the conversation a lot easier than it had to be. " know you won't." Her tiny hand squeezed his own. When he mentioned something about going to couples therapy she frowned. It was a sad suggestion for some reason, but it made a lot of sense and it would definitely help them last. "Yeah... It sounds helpful I guess. We can try it for now until the baby's born. After that I doubt I'll have much time for it."
----
Jean frowned when she reached down to cover the marks. He knew how insecure she was about them and he absolutely hated it because no matter what, she was beautiful. Even if he was too honest with her sometimes. Of course she looked different from when they first met- she’d went through a pregnancy and been through a lot emotionally but he still loved her all the same. “Mm. I don’t really want them to fade.” He admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “I think they’re cute. You’re too hard on yourself, just relax.” It was hard for him to guess what was going on in that head of her’s but he knew it was probably melodramatic and wrong. She’d always been so hard on herself because of her appearance and he knew that this surely only made it worse. “You know how beautiful you are, don’t you?”
The way she put it threw Jean off. This wasn’t really about getting even and he didn’t like when she acted like he’d deliberately done this to hurt her but he knew that in that position, he’d probably feel the same. “No…hey, I didn’t want it to be like that- I made a mistake. I wish I could tell you that I didn’t think what you did was wrong but you did lie to me…even if I’m glad you did now.”
Clearing his throat, Jean continued to rub the spot he could tell had given her trouble. Just from the way she was arching against his hand, he could tell he was helping. “But what you did was in no way comparable to how bad I fucked up. Please don’t compare the two.” Her small hand on his made him realize how fragile she was in comparison. Not only physically but mentally. And he knew he’d have a lot of work if he was ever going to fix this. “No…we’re gonna make time for it. Even after the baby. We can push our relationship aside or it’s never gonna get better…I’ll make time for it and so will you.” He spoke with an authoritive tone but there was a softness to his eyes that he didn’t normally have. “And we’re gonna take a break from sex and stuff…/obviously/ because of the baby but also because I want to focus more on romancing you.” He admitted, finishing up the massage before crawling in behind her so that he was spooning his very pregnant girlfriend.
“I’m gonna make you fall in love with me twice as hard as you did the first time. No more of me sharing pics of other girls, uh…or acting like an asshole…also no more of me being a perv with you.” He couldn’t help but laugh, all these promises he was making would be hard but he would do anything to fix the mess he’d made. “…but the last one might be difficult for me. I promise your tail is the only one I’ll be chasing though, bunny.” Reaching between them, he gave her butt a playful squeeze before kissing her shoulder blade and pulling the blanket over them.
----
Eren shrugged off the question. No, she didn't think she was beautiful. She did for a small amount of time when she'd post a lot of photos on the internet showing off her body, but for most of her life, she'd hide away because of how disgusting she felt. She loved her belly however because it held their son, but that was about it. Once he was out of it, she knew it would just add to her guilt. Even though she did appear smaller than most pregnancies especially nearing the end, her vision of herself and what she saw in the mirror was distorted and way different than what other people saw. "Thanks for trying, though." It was going to take a lot to make her feel comfortable again.
"I know. I still feel gross for what I did. I'm happy I did it but I wish I did it a different way." She admitted, squeezing his hand again before dropping it and drifting off to let her eyes shut again. Small coos of enjoyment escaping passed closed lips. "I really didn't expect you to stay with me honestly... Especially after I found out it worked. But there was something about you that I just knew I was going to be with you forever. It sounds crazy saying it now, but at the time it felt like the normal thing to do."
The way he talked as though he wasn't even asking but demanding this to happen made her feel more at ease. It showed that he truly did care to fix things and that he wasn't going to let anyone, not even herself stop it from happening. "Alright." She smiled. "I'll try as long as you do..."
She kept her ears open, listening to what he had to say about how things were going to be and he sounded so honest. Like everything he was saying was true, even if it was going to be hard he sounded determined to fix things and make them work. "Rules sound good." She smiled and turned to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him close. "What should I do differently?" Obviously, she wasn't perfect. So she knew there were probably going to be some difference about how she acted as well. Her lips chased his for a quick peck on the lips before she cuddled into his arms, finding the warm feeling of home that she felt before once more. "Hey!" She barked, squinting up at him when he squeezed her ass. "Not yet, Mr." She nipped at his nose and nuzzled into his chest to get comfortable again.
----
It hurt to see his girlfriend be so down on herself, Jean thought she was the most gorgeous woman he’d ever laid eyes on and eventually, he’d love for her to feel as good about herself as he felt about her. “We’ll work on it.” He promised.
Shushing her, Jean let his hand slide to her tummy to rub over the hard bump lovingly. “Don’t feel gross…I understand why you did it. I was a lot more immature than I am now-…even in just eight months, I feel like you’ve changed me so much. For the better. And I’m only like this because of you and Mason.” Letting out a nervous laugh, the male shook his head. He hadn’t intended to stay with Erenay in the beginning but it wasn’t anything personal. He was just like that with every girl. “It doesn’t sound crazy…I feel the same for you.” He admitted cautiously, a light blush spreading across his face. He’d always been outgoing but when it came to romance, he was unexperienced and nervous.
His lips curved into a grin when she agreed to try, he hadn’t planned on taking no for an answer but it meant a lot that she wanted to fix them just as much as he did. Thinking over it for a couple seconds, there wasn’t much he could think of that he wanted Erenay to change. She had been really great and it was mostly him that acted awful but there were a couple things. “I want you to be more open with me about your feelings so we can try to tone down the fighting…especially with Mason, I don’t want to fight in front of him. And I want you to promise me that after you have the baby, you’ll keep eating.” Before the pregnancy, Jean knew Erenay’s eating habits were anything but healthy. And he was worried it’d return back to that after their son was born. Kissing her neck, Jean hummed gently against her skin and traced little hearts over her stomach with his finger. “Mason is gonna need his mama to be healthy, if you can’t do it for yourself do it for our son.” He tried to keep a chipper tone the entire time he spoke, in hopes of keeping her motivated and happy.
“What do I need to do to keep you happy..?” He questioned, waiting expectantly for a constructive criticism. He knew there was a lot he needed to work on and he was prioritizing Erenay’s feelings and health over practically everything aside from their son. “Oh, and also…we should do some kinda date night once a week. I read that it helps couples stay happy with each other in some parenting magazine.” Jean let out a sheepish laugh and hid his face against the pillow. He felt unbelievably cheesy for reading so much into making their relationship work but he knew if it saved them in the end, it’d be worth it. “I know /not yet/ but I couldn’t resist. I’m done now. I promise.” Laughing it off, Jean nuzzled against her and let out a relieved sigh.
Jean’s Confession
Every part of this felt cruel. Jean didn’t know what was more repulsive to him; the fact that he didn’t know why he was doing it or the action itself. He’d been pretty upset about Erenay’s recent confession. She’d gotten pregnant on purpose and even though she said she hadn’t tried to trap him, he still felt that way. He’d always had a bit of a problem around alcohol, he wasn’t exactly an alcoholic but there were times where he felt like one.
But another addiction of his was starting to resurface. He’d been toying with the idea of sleeping with one of his co-workers, Emma. It wasn’t a frequent thought but she’d recently made her feelings about him known. It was a simple crush she’d told him, she found him attractive and in all honesty she wasn’t too bad to look at. She was a new recruit and one of his closest friends at the police station, although he definitely didn’t return her romantic feelings.
She’d decided they’d meet in the men’s locker room at the police barracks after his night shift. It would be late and the locker room was empty, it’d be perfect for their “hook up”. Jean had told Erenay he was working later than usual and left it at that. The guilt didn’t settle in until he was waiting in the locker room for /her/, at this point he didn’t even want to think about her name.
When he heard the door open, his breathing hitched and it almost felt like his heart stopped for a second. She was dressed casually and for some reason, it made him realize how small of a deal this was to her. He was falling apart over this and she didn’t even bother with herself. But shockingly she seemed as nervous as him. Yet, she was the first one to make a move. She tossed her bag onto the floor and grabbed Jean by the collar of his uniform.
Suddenly her fingers were working at the buttons on his shirt and she’d pull him against her so that her back was to a row of lockers. Jean’s palms fell to the cold metal to prop himself up and he looked down at her expectantly, she was busy working at the buttons still and he had time to marvel over her features. Her dark red hair framed her face perfectly and she was attractive, but something felt so off. She felt so unfamiliar and not in a good way. His undershirt had been tucked in but now she was tugging it upward so that his torso was exposed. When her cold hands went to his warm skin, the male flinched. “Holy shit this is happening”, he muttered loosely. His eyes darted to her’s when she let her hands go to his neck to pull him into a kiss and although he didn’t kiss back right away, he did try. His tongue slipped past her lips and he let out a soft moan into her mouth. Everything was going perfectly until it wasn’t.
Recoiling in shock, Jean yanked away from her and almost fell over the bench behind him. His heart was racing and his eyes widened in fear. It hadn’t been obvious at first but now, he knew he was incapable of being with anyone else. “I can’t, I can’t.” He repeated, his fingers fumbling over the uniform to re-button it. How could he have been so stupid? He couldn’t even explain to her what was going through his head but he darted out of the locker room before she could question him.
Stereo-typically enough, it was raining. When he got outside, Jean doubled over by a bush and caught his hands on his knees. The corners of his eyes welled up with tears and he felt the watery sensation in the back of his throat, the tall blond unwillingly emptied the contents of his stomach into the shrubbery. He was so worked up that his entire body started to shake and he was racked with sobs. The guilt was almost unbearable and he didn’t know how he would ever explain this to her. He didn’t think he could, he was certain he’d lose her and after this little incident he knew that he couldn’t handle that. He wasn’t sure what to do, but for now he knew he had to keep it a secret.
____________________________________
It’d been about a month since the night in the locker room and while Jean had avoided the subject fairly well, he couldn’t cope with keeping it a secret from his fiancé any longer. She had to know what he’d done and he hoped she didn’t leave him because of it. He’d been preparing what he was going to say all day but once he was actually home, all of it slipped from his mind and he knew he'd have to wing it. Jean changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, tossing his uniform into the washer before even considering bringing it up. He wanted to be as comfortable as possible because he knew it wasn’t going to go well.
When he saw her laying on the bed, Jean sat down beside her. Reaching for her hand, he gave it a soft squeeze. “Hey…we need to talk.” Swallowing hard, he stared at the window for a few seconds, mentally preparing himself for the disaster he knew was going to come. “I- I don’t really know how to put this so I’m just gonna come out and say it. And /please/ feel free to slap me because I know I deserve it…" He knew he deserved a hell of a lot more. But couples got through this kinda stuff all the time right? He'd never do it again and he would do anything he had to, to reassure her. "Erenay, I cheated on you…” He admitted, shaking his head when a better explanation came to mind. “Tried to anyway…it was over a month ago after I found out about-” Talking about it hurt. He wasn’t really sure how to make it any less painful and he couldn’t imagine how she was feeling. He was already in tears and holding back the urge to cling to her, “I just love you so much…”
----
The whole day felt hazy for the brunette. The night before her fiance had told her that he needed to come clean with something and Erenay hadn't had a single clue what was going on. She thought everything was fine and that the two of them could so easily talk to each other. Given, it did end in feuds at times but they easily got over things. It had become such a casual thing for them and she wasn't sure if it were good or not. Maybe she finally did something that made him realize he didn't want to commit to her. That their whole marriage would be nothing but arguments one after another... Was he going to break up with her? Maybe someone in his family was deathly sick. Whatever it was he seemed to be completely distraught over it. She wanted to be there for him more than anything, but she was afraid of getting hurt herself. All of the moments Jean had reassured her of his love within the past day was giving her made it feel like she was going to get hurt...
Laying in bed, she was watching silly pet videos on her phone to try to keep herself optimistic until he came home. They were all so cute and fluffy, she thought of all the pets she wanted to bombard their house with when they finally moved and had their own place they could fill with their family. Suddenly her hand was gripped by the hand of her fiance. A small blush accompanied by a smile followed through as she looked up to meet his gaze. Slowly and carefully sitting up, she yawned and stretched and tried to prepare herself as much as she could. "Yeah... I remember. Go ahead, babe I'm listening." She reassured him, looking down at their hands as he spoke. When he'd mentioned slapping him her eyes darted back up to look him in the eyes with a questioning, concerned expression. "Slap you...? I don't- uh... Okay." She nodded and looked back at their hands, flexing her fingers at the thought of whatever he was going to say would be enough to make her want to slap him. Her heart wasn't prepared for the words she was about to hear. The few words she wished she'd never have to hear in her lifetime. With a gasp, she snatched her hand from his. Her fingernails digging viciously into the palm of her hand and she tried to keep from actually following through with the slap suggestion. She could tell how much it hurt to talk about for him, but it really didn't matter right now. He tried to cheat on her and betray her trust and she didn't know if she felt like throwing up from the baby, or the situation.
"You can't be serious, right..?" She paused waiting for an answer but soon cut him off the second he tried to speak again. "You /have/ to be fucking joking! I can't believe you- You tried to cheat on me..!? With who!?" The tears beaded up in the corner of her eyes before streaming down her red cheeks. Her throat felt dry and as if it were closing up and she'd choke. Everything felt like it stood still in this moment. "You make me feel fucking awful for god damn facebook posts! You recently made me feel like I was the worst girlfriend and fiance ever because I get irritated at you! Because you were sharing pictures of girls and it made me feel self-conscience... As if you were the perfect fiance! But then you're out fucking /cheating on me/!? I have every right to feel how I do because it's clear to me now that you really do look at other girls..." By the end of her speaking, her voice faded out and turned into sobs. Bringing both her hands to her face to cup them to hide herself, her fingers on the opposite hand itched at the engagement ring before sliding it off her finger and letting it drop to the sheets. "You don't love me. You don't love our child. If you did, you would have never fucking even thought of that! Just the other day you guilt tripped me telling me you couldn't even pretend to flirt with girls while sharing a photo. You really had me fooled!" The small female tried desperately to keep herself as small as possible. Dodging every attempt he had to make any sort of contact with her and keeping to herself.
"I'm sorry but I'm tired of these stupid games... I can't take it anymore, I just want to be with someone who actually cares about my feelings and doesn't turn them into a big joke with his friends. Someone who actually cares about what I have to say. Someone who doesn't cheat on me! I want to settle down and have a family with a nice home and you're clearly not ready for that so I'll just leave you alone. I can't change you and you're not ready to change. I'm so sorry I did this. It was dumb of me to think you'd change by the time you got to be a police officer. It was so dumb of me to think you actually wanted this when you decided to stay with me. I'll just leave in the morning because I can't stand to be around you..."
----
His hands shook nervously and when she started to talk, it hurt a hell of a lot more than a slap to the face would’ve. “She kissed me! That’s all it was-…I threw up.” He stated as if that fact alone would change her mind. “Just some girl I work with! We don’t even talk anymore, I promise you.” He quickly tried to dispel the conversation, not knowing whether Erenay would go after her. He knew that they probably both deserved to face the consequences but he didn’t want Erenay to put herself in any kind of situation where she’d attack a police officer and get in trouble. Listening to her talk, Jean bowed his head in shame. He’d really fucked up and he wasn’t sure he could even come back from it. “No! I don’t! I know you’re upset but /please/ just hear me out!” Once she took the engagement ring off, Jean felt his heart stop for a split second and his eyes trailed up to meet hers in horror. He mouthed “no” before tears jerked at his eyes. But that didn’t heart anywhere near as much as her next statement did. She was wrong, he did love them. He loved them more than anything and the accusations made him want to throw up. “I do! I love you so much it hurts, same with our son!” Standing up to try and pull her into his arms, Jean struggled to do so and eventually gave up touching her for the moment.
“No, no, no…you’re not! Please don’t talk like that…I’m never doing anything to hurt you again! I promise.” He yelled, a little louder than he probably should’ve. “/Baby/,” he pleaded, grabbing for her arm to pull her against his chest. “I love you so much, I couldn’t even do it- I can’t be with anyone if it isn’t you, please don’t leave me…” Jean clung to her despite how hard she tried to get away from him, he just held her and sobbed. He knew this wouldn’t end well but he was desperate. “Couples get through stuff like this, we can do it! We’re strong enough…” He insisted, finally pulling away to look down at her. “No, don’t go. Where would you even go?” After a couple seconds, he backed away. Even though she’d said she’d leave in the morning, he decided to block the doorway now. He stood in front of it to keep her from leaving and after a couple seconds, his legs gave out and he fell to the ground in a pile. He’d never broken down like this before and it terrified him. The way he was feeling made him sick and he couldn’t imagine how Erenay felt, he knew he’d never forgive her if the positions were flopped. “…Please talk to me. I just-…I was in a dark place and I thought we weren’t going to work out because of everything but it made me realize how much I care about you…and then you had the fall and I just-…I love you so much. Don’t leave me, I
----
"It takes two to kiss." She informed him, hugging herself together. "...Someone you work with? Oh. That's just great. So you work with someone you'd totally fuck if you didn't have your stupid conscience!" The more he spoke, the more her heart hurt. She wanted to believe him but it was just so difficult at the moment. The air felt cold and she felt almost dead inside. It was a bit reassuring that he did end up backing out of it /supposedly,/ but it still hurt to know the mere fact that he tried or the fact that it even came to his mind.
"/Don't/ call me 'Baby'! You've lost that privilege!" All she wanted to do right now was to be left alone to sob uncontrollably for days. "You can't expect me to just be so okay with this..! I know couples go through stuff like this, but it doesn't usually happen once. It's usually a reoccurring thing! How do you expect me to trust you now!?" Her body laid stiffly against his when he held her close. "I don't know. I've saved money to live on my own by now. So..." When he leaped to the door, Erenay frowned and sulked against the sheets below. "I'm not going anywhere right now, Jean. I'm too tired and driving isn't a good idea for me right now. I literally feel sick to my stomach." It was almost just as painful to see how regretful he was for everything, but she couldn't bring herself to forgive him so easily right now. "What is there to even talk about, Jean? You went behind my back after I came to you with something... How would you like it if I took this in right now and went to try to sleep with someone else all just because I was upset with you?! It feels gross. It makes me feel regretful for just about everything but my child. I don't know how you can say that. I didn't think we were going to break up. I had faith in you and I wish you had the same for me." Her lip quivered and she felt like she was having a heart attack. It was like she could literally feel her heart breaking. "I love you too... That's why this is hard for me to say but I really can't promise I'm going to marry you right now. We're obviously not meant for marriage. Something keeps coming up and it just keeps getting worse. Why beat something that's already dead?"
----
“I didn’t fuck her because I can’t do it anymore! I can’t be with someone that isn’t you…I was so scared, I’ve never cared about someone so much! I hate what you do to me. I can’t go seconds without thinking about you! I feel sick when I’m not with you…I just don’t like being in love but I am and nothing is going to change that! It’s like a tick I can’t get rid of, I’m used to only thinking about myself but now it’s all about you! Everything I do is for you…I hate it but-” His voice cracked and he gasped for air, a sob escaping his lips instead. “I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Being in love with you hurts /so/ much but I don’t think I ever want it to stop!” Jean wiped at his eyes and shook his head. “Even if we do breakup for good…I think I’m broken for the rest of my life! I can’t move on from this.” He admitted shamefully, the confession he’d been avoiding this entire time made him realize why he tried to cheat on her. He was scared of his feelings and now that they were out in the open, his entire body felt warm and even in the calamity of the situation he felt peaceful.
His mouth snapped shut and he couldn’t look at her. She looked so broken and the sight resembled a priceless china doll smashed to pieces on the ground of an antique shop. He wanted to be sick when he thought about how she was feeling. “I don’t expect you to be okay with it…I know you probably don’t trust me and it’d take a lot of time but I /promise/ I’ll do anything! I’d never hurt you like this again…” His chest instantly hurt at how limp she felt in his arms. It felt as if he was holding onto something that was already dead and he was starting to lose hope. “Us?” He questioned as if it were obvious; he wanted- /needed/ her to want to talk about their relationship and where it would go from here. But the next part made him freeze up completely and he felt anger for the first time the entire night. It took him seconds to even respond, his hands twitched with irritation and he glared up at her. “/Our/ child.” He corrected with a puff of annoyance before clenching his fists until his nails were dug into his palms.
“I’m sorry you regret me.” Jean choked out his words and swallowed back the lump in his throat. “If I could choose between getting shot again and hearing that I would’ve gladly taken the bullet.” He thought over her words and the more he did, he realized maybe she was right. He’d seen the hell that his father had put his mom through. He knew that he and his siblings had suffered as well and he didn’t want that for his family. Distancing themselves might be better in the long run. Instead of getting mad, he let the negative thoughts slip away like he’d been taught in therapy. “I guess you’re right. As much as I hate it, you’re right. You deserve better and I’m sure you’ll find it...I’m done fight for this.” He tried to keep a relaxed tone and it broke his part heart to say what he had but it needed said. Just because he was messed up didn’t mean he had to drag Erenay down with him. “What happens next..? At the very least, I wanna be a dad. I don’t want to miss that-” He questioned, looking at her as if she’d have all the answers.
----
As mad as she was, Erenay listened and listened closely. The way he explained himself made her feel at least a little bit better about the situation, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't care anymore. She didn't look at him as he spoke, she couldn't bring herself to but just from the tone of his voice, she could tell how much he regret what he did. Every work he spoke sounded so genuine. /why/ did they have to come out at a time like this? Why couldn't he say these kinds of things on a normal day?
"These are the things I really wish you could tell me without bearing bad news..." She frowned, motioning him to come closer with her arms. When he came closer to her side, she pulled him into bed and backed against him so he was spooning her before leaning over to turn off the light. What used to feel like such a warm, safe place just gave her visions of what could have happened. The thought of Jean holding another woman like this; getting to smell the cologne that brought her ease; all while her getting to feel the pulse of his heart so close to her own made Erenay want to gag, throw up even. The palm of one hand cupped her mouth as her sobs sputtered. She tried holding it back but wasn't able to for very long. Warm tears streamed down her cheeks yet again as she tried desperately to catch them. "I just can't believe this..."
She took a moment of silence to close her eyes and pretend this was all some sort of nightmare, all while also taking his side of the story. The more she thought about it, the more she felt it was her fault and not his own. If she'd stop being so bitchy to him all the time, maybe he wouldn't have felt the need to go off and plan a meeting with someone he works with. Ever since she started getting more pregnant, she felt as though she had given up some on her appearance. He practically came out and said it (in her eyes) that time on a post when he said she wasn't as attractive as she used to be. Maybe if she just put in a few extra minutes in the morning to actually look as pretty as she tried to in college, maybe he wouldn't have felt so turned off with her to need to go out and find someone who could turn him on like she used to. She felt disgusting and gross which wasn't something new for the brunette, it just hasn't happened in a long time where she felt uncomfortable in her body.
"I don't regret you." She whimpered, sniffling back a few tears. Listening to the rest of what he had to say hurt. She shook her head. "No. I'll think it over. All I know is we're not engaged anymore but I'm going to think it over... I promise."
Jean Visits Erenay at the Hospital
The police sirens on the Jean’s cruiser were something he’d grown accustom to after months of being on the police force. Jean was supposed to have the weekend off but he and his partner were called in last minute to help. He’d gotten a new partner, Denise. She was almost 30 and had taken her police exams later than most but she was really great. He looked up to her a lot and they helped each other out; she didn’t compare to Mike. However, they’d stuck Mike with the newer recruits.
It was about halfway through his shift before he could check his phone and when he noticed the missed calls from Erenay, he found himself worrying a bit. But before he could even think about calling her back, he was sent on another call. He’d been dispatched to a car accident downtown and his mind quickly went to that instead of his pregnant girlfriend.
It wasn’t until he returned to the barracks a few hours later, at the end of his shift, that he was pulled aside by the secretary and informed that the hospital had called. His heart immediately sank and he barely kept it together long enough to hear what had happened. They weren’t able to tell him much since the hospital couldn’t give much detail since Jean wasn’t there to take the call but from what he understood Eren had fallen and was being held until they found out if she and the baby were okay. The large male was instantly reduced to shakes and he felt his breathing go shallow, his heart was racing so fast he could feel it pounding out of his chest. He forced himself to think about the last thing he’d said to her. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was but he knew it couldn’t have been nice. He’d been cruel to her ever since he found out she’d gotten pregnant to him on purpose. The thought now was pathetic; he loved them both now so why should how he felt before matter? The guilt sunk in and he fell to his knees and started to sob, Denise quickly rushing to his side to try and comfort him but he knew nothing would help until he’d seen Erenay.
After a while, his partner offered to drive him to the hospital to see her since he was too upset to drive and he quickly agreed. The entire car trip was spent with Denise trying to comfort him. She informed him that Erenay must be “awfully tough if she puts up with a dickhead like you” and that earned a tiny smile from Jean. He knew his girlfriend was tough but he also knew she was clumsy and he didn’t know how hard of a fall she’d taken. When she pulled up to the front doors of the emergency room, Jean practically leaped out of the passenger seat. Quickly thanking her before going to the front desk to get a room number.
It took a strenuous amount of breathing techniques to keep the police officer calm as he walked through the painfully white halls to get to the room the love of his life was in. Jean squinted his eyes because of the bright fluorescent lights and scrunched his nose up at the scent of death and bleach. He cursed himself the entire time. He should’ve never allowed her to get into that position. Whatever the situation may be.
He admittedly stared at the door to her room for a couple seconds before he could work up the courage to open it. Offering a gentle knock, he prepared himself for the worst. Opening the door to see Erenay laying in a hospital bed, he immediately felt the tears return to his eyes. He stood in the doorway in shock. Unable to do anything but look over her. After he was able to move again, Jean approached the bed. “Oh god…what happened-…” his hands were shaky and he immediately leaned down to wrap his arms around her and pull her into an almost crushing hug. “Are you okay..?! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have been so cruel to you…is the baby-” He couldn’t even speak the words, he felt the urge to throw up and he couldn’t contain his worry. If something had happened to their son he would never forgive himself. “I love you, I love you, I love you both /so/ much…” He was sobbing onto her chest so hard that he couldn’t breathe. She surely didn’t need to be bombarded with this sort of attention but he couldn’t help himself. The thought of something happening to his perfect little family left him in an almost crippling state. After a few seconds, he slid one of his hands under the thin hospital sheet to fumble over her stomach; carelessly massaging in hopes that he’d feel something reassuring even though he hadn’t felt the baby kick yet. “I’m sorry…I didn't mean any of the shitty stuff I said...”
----
The fall and pretty much everything after it had become a blur to her. She fell into some kind of panic attack or just to sum it up, shocked. Everything just went kind of blank. All she could think of is how much she's fucked up. With Jean, with the baby, with just everything. Before getting pregnant, she felt so confident with her mothering skills. She loved children and babysat for all the neighbours growing up. How would it be any different? So she though at least. The more time went by she felt her confidence decreasing, especially now. She was going to be a horrible mother and she felt awful for bringing them into this situation.
After they'd put a cast on her now obviously broken ankle that Erenay couldn't even take a look at because she was afraid of what she'd see, she was able to rest while they ran some tests to see how the baby was doing. He was a lot less active, but every now and then she'd feel /something/ but it could have easily just been her mind messing with her and giving her false hope. Only time could honestly tell and she hated it.
When Jean was near, she didn't even know he even knew yet. The hospital didn't tell her if they'd tried to get in contact with him and she honestly didn't want to know. If he cared and wasn't mad at her, she knew he'd come. But if he knew and didn't want to come, she didn't want to even know that. That being said, once there was a knock on the door she gave a lazy 'come in' half expecting it to be a nurse but sprung up with a smile when she saw Jean. "Oh- Jean..!" she smiled, trying desperately not to cry but it became impossible to hold back when she saw how much of a wreck he was over it. Holding her arms open she welcomed him close and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. "Please don't apologize.. You have every right to feel how you did. I still feel awful... As for this- I uh... I just had a hard time with the stairs... We're seven floors up and the elevator was out of order... I got dizzy and the rest is- well. Obvious." She looked down at her ankle in a cast. "I'm fine though... It's not me I'm worried about." She whimpered and placed her hand over her stomach. "I'm so worried about him, Jean..." Her eyes filled with tears as she pulled him close again. "I'm so fucking stupid..! I shouldn't have kept going when I felt dizzy! Especially being the fucking clutz I am..." She took a few moment to breathe and calm herself down. "I love you too- /We/ love you too. So much... Once the doctors tell me what's up with him I can probably go home tomorrow. The doctor's already said he should be fine and that uteruses are made to protect the bab from this sort of stuff. I just had some worrying pains in my lower region so that's what I'm worried about... But it's okay, I just hope you forgive me for getting pregnant on purpose without having your say in the matter.. But /please/ know it's because I love you. Not because I wanted to lock you into some stupid scam to get child support or something dumb like that. I feel like such a crazy bitch for all of this..."
----
Tears jerked at the man's eyes and he couldn't help but feel guilty that it'd taken him so long to get there. Hearing about the stairs made it clear to him that an apartment definitely was not a safe environment for his girlfriend. "Babe...you shouldn't have been on the stairs." He knew it wasn't really something he could scold her for. And he was thankful that she was at least okay; as worried as he was about their son he, he knew he wouldn't have forgiven himself if any longterm damage had been done to his girlfriend. But he also knew losing the baby would destroy her. And him too. When she got worked up again, Jean shushed her and tangled one of his large hands into her hair. He knew one of the best ways to calm her down was to play with her hair. "You're not stupid...you're just so damn clumsy. I don't want you on stairs like that again...you hear me?" Wiping the tears from her eyes, he found himself pretending everything was going to be okay. Even if it wasn't. "I hope they're right...It seems weird to love someone I've never seen before but I really love our baby." He admitted, nuzzling his head against her shoulder for a second to sniffle away tears. He wasn't really ready to forgive Erenay before all of this happened but now that she was hurt and their baby had been in danger, it all seemed so trivial. "Don't worry about that right now...I'll get over it and I'm not going to leave either of you. Pinkie promise." Holding his pinkie out to take her's, he couldn't help but crack a light smile.
"Can I lay down with you..?" He muttered quietly before starting to unbutton the uncomfortable uniform top so that he was in his plain white undershirt. Jean unclipped the heavy utility belt and set it down gently on the chair before letting himself into bed with her. He wrapped around her and held her tightly, kissing at her cheek and neck to comfort her, or maybe even comfort himself. "Eren...I don't want you going back there where I can't take care of you. Please move in with Ymir and I?" Jean's hand went to her stomach to massage over the hard bump and after a couple seconds he couldn't resist the urge to pull the blanket back so that he could see his girlfriend's stomach. Hesitantly, he lifted the hospital gown so he could see her belly and the sight of her bruised skin made him cringe. A quiet sob left his lips as he leaned down to kiss over her belly button. "I read that babies can hear outside of the womb before they're born..." He mumbled, looking up at the brunette for a quick second. He'd moved so that he was hanging halfway off the bed so that he didn't put any strain on her. One of his hands rubbed her stomach as he continued to press gentle kisses over her soft skin. "I love you so much, little guy. Your mom and I can't wait to meet you..." Jean rested his ear on her stomach, which was something he'd randomly started doing regardless of the fact he obviously wasn't going to hear anything. But it comforted him.
Jean finally moved back up to lay with Erenay, breathing out an exhausted sigh and hugging her close. "Hey...I'm uh-...I'm really glad you did what you did. To get pregnant and all...I think you really turned my life around and I don't think I'd be alive right now if it weren't for you-"
----
Hearing him say the next few words came as a shock. She really didn't expect him to say that. It left her feeling completely happy with the decision that brought her so much guilt over the past six months. "I'm so glad to hear you say that..." She cooed, kissing him gently on the lips. "I honestly think the feeling is mutual. Even though we technically met from you trolling me on the Internet, I've never become so close with a single person."
"I shouldn't have been on the stairs..?" She giggled and squeezed at his hand. "If it were up to you, I wouldn't ever lift a finger." Her tone sounded like she was mocking him but really she loved how he treated her. It was so genuine and sweet. Even though she liked being independent, she also loved being dependent but only on him. Sometimes her sister Mikasa but she wants her to have her own life. When his hand went through her now messy long hair she hummed happily and closed her eyes for a second. "I know I'm clumsy.. It sucks." She snorted trying to lighten the mood as much as possible. One hand pressed gently on his cheek and rubbed her thumb over his soft skin. "Please don't cry... I've done enough for the two of us, believe me. I promise I'll be more careful once I get back home... I won't take the stairs if the elevator is down." She promised with a smile. The way he spoke was so reassuring to the point she felt like crying again but was able to hold off. "I know what you mean... It really feels like we already have him. I really wish you could feel him kick. Normally I can feel him moving but I don't think he's really kicked yet..." Her eyes averted back to his own after locking her pinkie with his. "Good. We really need you.. And I pinky promise to be a lot more careful."
"Of course you can-!" She moved herself off to the side to give him space to lay down. Watching as he stripped out of his uniform she couldn't help but smile. He was so handsome and it really came out when he was in uniform. She'd never felt so safe in the presence of anyone before she met him. Even before he was a cop he gave off such an amazing and reassuring aura. One that just screamed good father potential which lead her to really fall in love with him. Getting comfortable against him, she sighed blissfully and closed her eyes. "Mm..?" She listened as he spoke and frowned. "I don't know, Jean... Are you sure it'd be okay with Ymir? What about your friend Connie? I thought he was going to move in. I just don't want things to move so quick again where we fight or something-" cutting herself off, she looked down at him as he became attached to her stomach. He was so gentle and sweet with her. It was then where she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Especially when he spoke to the baby. "I heard that too." She sniffled. "I've been playing really pretty classical music lately for him to listen to. I hope he has cute dopey ears like you had as a kid. He'll definitely be able to hear outside of the womb." She teased and watched as he listened, cupping her hand over the back of his head. "It might just be a hunch but.. I think I felt him say 'I love you too, Daddy.'" She giggled and got comfortable against him again.
----
His lips curved into a sad smile and he squeezed her tight for a second before releasing her and kissing her cheek. "That means a lot to me...I never wanted anyone to rely on me but I'm scared that someday you won't need me anymore." He admitted, letting one of his hands slide under the covers to rest on her stomach. "Every time I start to doubt our relationship I remember back to the night I got shot and the only thing keeping me alive was marrying you. It was so awful...I could barely breathe because I was choking on my own blood but the only thing I could think about was how beautiful you'd look in a wedding dress." Tears rolled down his cheeks and he anxiously tried to wipe them away before kissing her chin and nuzzling closer. "I know it's probably hard to deal with me sometimes but I really hope you know how much I want us to get married and raise our chil-...kids together." At the idea of having more, Jean laughed. He knew it wouldn't be anytime soon but he did want a big family. "...do you think I could stay here with you for the night? I don't wanna leave and miss anything..."
Jean chuckled, he really didn't want her to have to do anything ever. "Oh shut up, it's how I was raised." Being brought up in a Catholic home, his father always worked hard so that his mother could stay home and in a way he kinda looked up to that. But at the same time he knew everything was changing and if Erenay wanted to start a career he'd support her. But he didn't want her to stress at all, even when she would clean the house Jean tried to stop her and do it himself but he was pretty bad at it and gave up. "I just like treating you like a queen." Kissing her cheek, the large male smiled softly. For a second he was able to forget about how scared he was for their baby. "Normally your clumsiness is endearing but when you're pregnant it scares me..I really /really/ am afraid to leave you alone now." He admitted, swallowing hard and looking her over. "I do too..." Jean wanted to feel the baby kick more then anything in the entire world. For some reason he thought it would make everything seem more real. As if his extremely bloated girlfriend wasn't enough proof.
Jean frowned at the questioning and shook his head. "Ymir won't care. Honestly I'm not giving you a choice...you and Mason's safety is top priority. We can figure the rest out later." Grunting in annoyance, Jean looked up at her when she mentioned his ears. "Are you seriously bullying me right now" cocking one of his eyebrows, he stared at his girlfriend for a second before letting out a soft laugh. It hurt to think something could be wrong with their son but he was trying to stay positive.
----
As much as Erenay loved how much Jean treated her like a legitimate princess, she couldn't help but feel guilty for all that he does. He goes to work for a long period each day to come home and cook and clean most of the house that she couldn't reach. And what did she do all day? Make some cupcakes for him to enjoy after a nice shower? She felt so useless and even though Jean loved it that way, she felt guilty. She wanted to be a loving housewife that he could come home to a nice home-cooked meal to. A nice clean house. Everything he would need to keep him happy. The fear of him waking up one morning deciding he wasn't going to put up with this routine anymore scared her. Besides, she always wanted to open up a cute little bakery. Possibly something in a building where their house could be upstairs. The feeling of waking up every morning only to walk downstairs and start the day however she wanted baking whatever she wanted sounded like heaven on earth. But that was something to talk about at a later date whenever they were able to move out and have their own place together.
"I know I can be a bit clumsy.. but I promise I'm careful..! Isn't the place going to be kind of cramped with me there? I feel bad. You guys were basically planning it out to be your own playboy mansion and I feel like I'll just bring you both down..." She admitted shyly and looked down at their hands laced together. But he was right. She was known for being clumsy and she hated the thought of putting their baby at risk. Be it while he's in the womb, or even after when he's born. She needed some extra help and she normally wasn't one to admit that almost ever. "Fine. I guess I'll put some thought into it. I do miss being able to be with you /every/ night." She giggled when he brought up being teased about his ears. "Hey! I never said it was a bad thing. They were cute. Your mom sends me all the cutest pictures via text message.."
"What..?" She frowned and turned enough to cup his cheek. "What are you even saying..? I'll always need you, Tough Guy!" She leaned upward to plant a kiss on his cheek. "I'm honestly just too proud to admit it sometimes... But even on just the cold nights, I need you. I need someone to hold me close and make me feel that tingly warm feeling inside and no one but you can give me that feeling." Her heart was practically falling to pieces as he talked about that tragic night. "I know... You've told me that. And every time I hear it I feel bad. I really wish I could have been there for you." It made her realize how he probably felt right now and how he probably wished he was there to help her. Not that this compared to his gunshot wound in any way. The only reason it's important to the both of them right now more than ever was because it put their child at risk. "Of course you can stay." She insisted and moved over a bit more to give him room. "Just please be careful of my foot... It may be numb but it can still ache later." Wrapping her arms around the back of his neck and cupping her head as she usually did, she gave a small blissful sigh and hugged him into her chest. "As much as I can't wait to get married, I'll wait however long I need to for you. As long as you're comfortable."
Erenay’s Fall
To say what Erenay had done was regretful would be the understatement of the year. She hated herself for what she did, but she also couldn't find herself to regret it. She was so excited to be a mother soon and to start a family with someone she loves, but the way it happened was a bit distasteful. Erenay wanted more than anything for Jean to believe her when she explained that it wasn't to 'trap him in the relationship' or anything malicious like that, but it was hard to persuade him. He was angry- no, /furious/ at her right now and he even mentioned wanting to go to a night club earlier. There's no way that could mean he wanted to stay in the relationship for much longer. Everything she did felt wrong and awful and she felt bad for him instead of herself like she usually did.
Taking the day to give him space, Erenay thought of other ways to spend her Sunday. Usually she would relax with him and talk about whatever came to either one of their minds, so she was trying not to drive herself crazy with guilt. Although she didn't feel so much alone. The little blessing inside of her was being active and reminding her that he (she thinks he's a he anyway) was there along the way, causing her to smile every-so-often. She'd gone to her boyfriend's sister to ask for a spare key as she'd be leaving for a good portion of the night to do things Erenay was particularly fond of, but she was her roommate and doing her a favor so it's not like she could just banter her anymore. In fact, it was the complete opposite. Now the brunette felt as though she owed Hitch a lot, she wanted to take any opportunity to help around mansion of an apartment. It was beautiful and amazingly well kept so there was only so much cleaning Erenay could do. The bills must have been expensive as hell but Jean told her he'd take care of it, as much as she didn't want him to worry about it. So in the end, Erenay came to the conclusion that maybe she could grocery shop for the two of them or something, but Hitch only needed toilet paper for the place which was simple enough. She grabbed her purse and marched out the door, being sure to lock the door behind her before walking over to the elevators to wait. She waited a good five minutes before noticing the sign that said 'out of order, please take the stairs.' With a roll of her two-toned eyes she groaned and readjusted the strap on her bag. "Figures." She muttered. Getting to the long staircase that went seven floors down, she prepared to get the work out of her life.
After about the first two floors, she found herself getting dizzy, a common pregnancy side effect. When she got to the fourth floor, she decided it would be best to take a little break. Closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. "I'm almost to the bottom... The stupid elevator better be fixed by the time I get back." She reassured herself, knowing that there wasn't even a technician van outside at the time from the looks of it out the window, but staying positive was all she had right now. After a half a minute, she took her time heading back down the stairs. From the fourth floor to the third floor, she made it to the second floor. Her knees starting to feel the aftermath of the agonizing dizzyness. It was now that she felt like she should turn back and go to the room and wait until the elevator was fixed. Her feet were swollen to /very/ uncomfortable standards and the dizziness was starting to turn into a migraine. About half way through the second floor's flight of stairs, she turned to walk back up, unknowing that her shoes that she carelessly hopped into had not been tied tightly causing her to trip over her own feet. Instinctively, her hands reached for the railing but only managing to touch the pole with her fingertips leaving her to tumble down the rest of the flight of stairs. When her body had twist, she felt an awful snap in her tibia. It all happened so fast she barely even had time to gasp or even think of the outcome or if her ankle had been sprained. All she could feel was the contact each part of her made with the cold, hard concrete. First at her knee, her hip, and when it came to hitting the next floor she ended up landing on her side, leaving her whole right side to feel the chill of the concrete surge through her. "Fuck.." She hissed, being thankful that she didn't hit her head, but then it came to her that she had more important things to worry about. Her stomach.
She leaned upward on her elbow as quickly as she could, afraid to even look down at her ankle and placed her other hand over the bump that she was usually so protective over. Her breathing picked up and she tried to put together the pieces of what could have happened. She sat and waited a couple of seconds to try to decipher if the pain she had been feeling was the guilt and fear rising in her gut or something way worse until the sharp pain that felt like being stabbed in her uterus overcame her. Tears instantly streaming down her face as she held her hand over the spot that ached. "No, no..." She whimpered, feeling herself go dizzy again. The sharp pain kept coming back, pulsating like the ache in her ankle and she knew she had to act quick. Reaching for her phone, she didn't even care to notice that she'd cracked it on the tumble down, probably from when she landed on her side and flipped through her phone to the 'favorites' tab clicking her boyfriend's name and waiting for him to pick up. It was weird that he was her first go-to at a time like this, not 9-1-1. It was probably dumb, she knew it was dumb. She had to get to the hospital as soon as possible but she couldn't think straight. After a few rings, the ringing finally stopped and she thought he'd picked up. "Hello- Jean..!?" She yelled into the phone anxiously only to be greeted by his answering machine. Was he ignoring her..? There's no way he wouldn't pick up if she rang another time. She waited only to have the same thing happen again. Finally she knew she had to go straight to 9-1-1. He was her emergency contact, they'd be able to get in contact with him.
Once the operator answered, she gave all the information in a hysterical panic. It's amazing that the operator could even understand her through the tears. Being reassured that an ambulance was on its way calmed her for a split second especially when the operator offered to stay on the phone with her. She agreed at first until she dropped her phone and looked down at the bump again and noticed that any movement and activity had decreased almost drastically. Maybe he was just scared... He /had/ to be okay. It sucked enough to not forgive herself over the incident with Jean, she wouldn't be able to live with herself if something happened to 'Mason.' "Shh, no baby.. You're going to be okay, alright?-" Her sentence was cut off by a groan in pain from another sharp stab-like feeling. Her body felt weak as she laid there hopelessly rubbing her hand over her bump. It was then when she heard the distant footsteps of a neighbor who must have been coming up the stairs to the next floor. Through her tears she called out for whoever it was, causing them to rush to her side and help her remain as calm as possible until the ambulance came. She felt as though she was going to pass out from the severe pain so she tried to explain what happened to the stranger as much as possible so the paramedics would have some kind of person to talk to about the situation. She begged and pleaded that the woman would tell them to get in contact with her boyfriend whom she tried phoning twice already. She tried her best to stay awake just in case she possibly gave herself a concussion but found herself zoning in and out anyway. It all became a blur when they lifted her, bringing her to the ambulance. All she could do was beat herself up and think for the worse. There was nothing keeping her from the negativity now that she possibly killed the one thing that was keeping her positive throughout the whole situation.
Jean’s Second Proposal
When he was absolutely certain that she’d seen it, Jean’s features relaxed and his eyes softened so that he would be more inviting. Clearing his throat, Jean spoke quietly and reached for her hand. “Sorry if I scared you…I wanted it to be a surprise.” Sighing nervously, he squeezed her hand and fidgeted closer. “It’s soon…but I hate thinking that after everything we’ve been through, I only get to call you my girlfriend…it feels insulting honestly…I just want you to be mine completely. And I want to be your’s /so/…I figured it would be a good idea. Can we pick up where we left off?”
It was obviously too soon. Jean couldn’t help but feel like he was jumping the gun but he didn’t really care. Ever since the original breakup, calling Erenay his girlfriend seemed like a jab to his chest. They’d been engaged and it was hard for him to go back to “casual dating” even though they were well past that mark again. Erenay had turned him into a hopeless romantic. He used to jump from girl to girl and now he couldn’t function without the short brunette. Jean didn’t care if they were a dysfunctional couple, he knew in the end he’d be married to her so why not make it official again?
The thought came to him on a drive to Starbucks to get her a coffee to make up for being an insufferable jackass on Facebook. The only problem was that he’d never been the romantic type and even though he wanted to do something elaborate, it’d be hard since she had a broken ankle and it was last minute. While he sat in the drive thru, Jean “broke up” with her on Facebook, hoping to completely shock her. He made a point to get her a travel mug instead of the disposable foam cups Starbucks usually put the coffee in, that way she could keep part of the proposal forever.
When he got back to the house, Jean took both drinks and locked his car. He was so anxious and he didn’t even know why. If she did turn him down, it’s not like it was the end of the world. But the more he thought about it, the more worried he got. It was really soon and they had been bickering a lot.
The thought quickly escaped his mind as he searched the pen jar for a sharpie. Grabbing the cup of coffee he’d gotten for his hopefully soon-to-be fiancé, Jean carefully scrolled out ‘Marry me?’ onto it. The man looked over it, a tiny grin curving against his features. His handwriting had always been unusually neat for a male. He didn’t put much thought into what he was going to say to her but he knew that she’d probably be upset initially because of the stunt he’d pulled.
Jean grabbed his cup and sipped at it as he carried Erenay’s back to their bedroom. When he opened the door, it was easy to tell she was upset and he felt kinda bad that she took him serious. “Hey there hot stuff.” He teased, hoping to lighten the mood even a little bit. He set his drink down and sat down on the bed and extended his hand to her to offer up the peace offering. Carefully, he made sure that the side that was written on was facing her. “Brought you a coffee.” He muttered, watching her carefully as he waited for her to take it. The only regret he had was that he didn’t have a ring or anything to give her but he’d already gone that route.
-----
Obviously the ride Jean was putting the poor brunette through was traumatizing to all hell. After being 'broken up with' via facebook Erenay felt so lost. The first thing her mind went to was where she was going to live. Clearly if Jean didn't want to have a girlfriend anymore he wanted her nowhere in sight let alone living in the same room as him. She wanted to open up her laptop and begin looking for a place to stay but couldn't even move. She just stared blankly ahead of her trying to decipher if he was even serious or not. It /had/ to be a joke. Who the hell breaks up that easily? Over facebook? He was obviously fucking with her head but even so it still wasn't funny. She hated how he messed with her in front of his friends so she was beginning to think maybe it was just a joke for them all to gawk at. Figures. However, the more she thought about it the more real it became until she couldn't even sit up anymore and just fell to the bed and hugged her stuffed bunny (that Jean had gotten her) close to her chest. For once, she really hoped he was just trying to hype his friends up. Even if it was at her expense.
It was a good half an hour until the door opened. It felt as though it was hours, maybe even days. She couldn't even bring herself to look at him. She just kept staring blankly ahead of her, the only reaction she had to him coming into the room was her grip tightening around the plushie she held close. "..." She stayed silent even after he tried to talk to her. As much as she wanted to say 'don't call me that', nothing came out. It was though she were paralyzed. When the coffee was handed in her direction she shook her head and held the bunny over her face. "No. I don't want it thank you." Her voice was shaky and obviously on the verge of tears. If it weren't for her two-toned eyes peeking up to see what on earth he was doing, she wouldn't have noticed the writing on the cup. A small gasp escaping her as she leaned up on her elbow. "What-" She froze and swallowed hard, looking back from the cup and him. Her shoulders sagged as she breathed out an annoyed sigh all whilst her cheeks light up a deep crimson red. "Jean I'm so tired of this. I can't take the jokes anymore can you /please/ just be honest with me for one second..? Is this a joke?"
Biting down on her lip, her hand reached up to grab the wedding band on the chain around her neck, she started to cry almost uncontrollably. Her emotions were all over the place thanks to the pregnancy, but she honestly felt like she'd be reacting the same way even if it hadn't been for that. It went from Jean leaving her to Jean yet again committing himself to stay by her side forever. Her free hand reached out to take the coffee and place it in her lap carefully not to spill it on the bed. "I know it is kind of soon but... /Yes./ I said yes before and I'll say yes now. I only grow more and more in love with you ever day... I just need to feel as though you'll take me more seriously from here on out. And that you're actually serious this time and not going to flake out on me again.." Taking the wedding band off the chain, she slipped it over her marriage finger again and admired it for the first time in what feels like forever before looking back up to meet his gaze and scoot a bit closer to him.
"You're such a dork... What an odd way to propose to someone. I love it and it was just /perfect./ All topped with my favorite coffee from my favorite coffee place..." She paused to take a small sip before putting it back down this time on the nightstand. "With the coffee just how I love it." Her hands cupped both his cheeks to hold him still as she leaned in to give him a passionate kiss.
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