I have this one white friend.
And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, Iām not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] Sheās not even my friend, sheās just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ākay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and sheās like,
āJenny, what are you?ā and, you know, thatās like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] āwhat FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously youāre not from here.āĀ And Iām like, āum, Iām Chinese.ā
And sheās like āWhat? Youāre Chinese?ā
And Iām like, āYeah, I donāt know why thatās so much of a surprise.ā
And sheās like āWell, I thought you said you were Asian.ā
And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese areā¦ I, I canāt, I canāt, I canāt evenā¦ you know, whatever.
So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: āYou know, China, China, you see, the country that Iām from, is a part of Asia.ā
And sheās like, āWhereās Asia?ā
[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.
And I say, āWell, Asia consists of, you know..ā and I list the different Asian countries and sheās like āWhaat?ā
And Iām like [sarcastically] itās, itās this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. Itās a continent! And sheās like āA continent?ā
And Iām like āYes.ā
And she goes, āso itās not a country?ā
And sheās like āWhatās the difference?ā
And Iām like [deep breath] āAmerica, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but theyāre also Canadianā¦ā
And sheās like āI donāt understand.ā
And Iām like āItās okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chineseā and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.ā
