so a while (more than a year) ago i created this oc for the very specific purpose of giving haruhiko a lover, since i care for him enough to want to give him one, but tbh none of the preexisting options fully convinced me xd i also ended up making this same oc a junjou terrorist character, therefore connecting miyanobu better to the rest of the junjou lore (which is kind of a pet peeve of mine kfjdjfjd)
and since i dont really have much interest in imagining this oc as a man, this pretty much remains just a yuri au thing :)
* throughout this post i will be referring to fem!Haruhiko as Haruko, since that would be her name in this au; and to the resulting oc/canon ship by their shipname: (junjou) solitaire (which makes reference to both of them feeling so lonely before getting to know each other, as well as this recurrent “us against the world” sentiment that would often be present in their storyline).
• Her name is Miwako Kinoshita (木下 美和子). The name comes from me watching parakiss awhile back then and liking it (and also i like that it sounds like Miyako (fujisaki), so i think this would be a cool nod to her, more so considering what ends up being Miwako's occupation). On the other hand, the last name comes from a google search i made and i thought sounded good, and may be subject to change if i ever find a better option.
• for starters, Miwako and Shinobu are around the same age, with only a couple months of difference (Shinobu’s bday, as u may remember is on December 18, and Miwako’s is on October 31 bc I think thatd be funny)
• In my au, instead of leaving to Australia for high school, Shinobu leaves for uni and stays there for a couple of years before Miyagi divorces. i.e. she is 20 when terrorist starts.
• egoist and terrorist both happen roughly around the same time, when Hiroki (and therefore Usagi) is 28.
• in my au, Misaki gets tutoring from Usagi only after failing twice to make it into uni by herself (one time while she is still in HS, and the other the year after). Therefore she is 19 when Usagi starts tutoring her, and 20 when she moves in.
* (for the record, both changes in Shinobu and Misakis ages are not just me being woke. They have a whole narrative purpose behind them, and there is an old post about it c:)
• Continuing to assume a 10 year age gap for romantica, Usagi would be 30 when Misaki moves in. Which translates to a two year gap between terrorist and romantica.
• To that add like a 9 month period (i think???????) until Haruko (36) gets rejected by Misaki
• [and now you may be thinking: but isnt Haruhiko supposed to be only like a couple years older than Usagi???? Shouldn’t Haruko then be like 33???? To which I reply: Im also making Isaka older in this au (why? Bc i think itd be hot), and Haruko’s age has to match :) in any case, the one change this makes for Haruko is that she loses her mother at 15 instead of like 12, which I think i can work with]
• But yeah anyways, to that add yet another year after Misaki rejects Haruko.
• And thus, if you make the math, you get that solitaire happens approximately 4 years after terrorist. Which in turn would make Miwako 24 and Haruko 37, giving them a 13 year age gap :)
• Long, curly black hair, which she often keeps down and covering her face bc she forgets to put it up unless very necessary
• Droopy black eyes with dark circles under them (half genetic, half horrible sleeping habits) and this permanent look of eternal melancholy in them
•If only slightly shorter than average (like 1.55 m), round face, relatively small breasts and soft features overall. Since most of her clothes are way too big for her, and her awful posture steals a couple more centimeters, she tends to seem even smaller than she is.
•she is actually kinda cute (to me), but since she has no self esteem she hardly thinks so u_u
• Often dresses with way too many layers of old fashioned button ups, granny sweaters and very long skirts, so she hardly shows any skin. Also virtually all her clothes are in dark, muted colors.
• Hugeeeeee glasses, since her eyesight is very deficient. They end up making her eyes look smaller.
• (as a whole, her appearance is kiiiiiiinda supposed to resemble Edgar Allan Poe, reference that will make more sense later on c:)
for better visualization, please refer to this doodle I made of her in class :)
• Born into a relatively wealthy family (not Usami levels of wealth, but rich enough for it to be relevant), owners of a construction firm
• The official story told by her “parents” is that she is their youngest child, having also a brother and sister (twins) that just so happen to be 17 years older than her bc she is like a miracle baby or whatever.
• The actual story is that her “sister” is actually her mother, who got pregnant at 17 by some dude whose name she doesn’t even know after lying to him about her age (she was very desperate for affection ok). Upon finding out about her pregnancy and to avoid any scandals, her parents decide to lock her up at home, lie to everyone by saying she went to some exchange program overseas, have the wife fake a pregnancy and pass the child (Miwako) as theirs. Shortly after giving birth, Miwako’s real mother runs away, and to this day no one knows where she is, or even if shes dead or alive; left to be remembered as the familys disgrace :D
•(For practicality purposes however, i will be following the version of the story they would want me to and refer to Miwako’s grandparents as her parents, bc its quicker to type and this whole reveal is supposed to be like this super shocking plot twist anyways kfhdjdhdhd u_u)
• Miwako is aware of this from a very short age, and, perhaps influenced by her parents, ends up resenting her real mother and thinking the worse of her (failing to realize they are a loooooot more similar than shed like to admit). And keeping in mind how dearly Haruko remembers her own mother, do expect this to create a bit of a rift between them at some point :)
• Unfortunately, being aware of this also makes Miwako feel “indebted” with her parents for letting her have what, in her eyes, is a normal life. And, maybe unconsciously, both her parents end up taking advantage of this idea: Her dad keeps her around as a valuable asset for the company, and her mom for emotional labor and validation.
• And Miwako just accepts this bc she kinda interiorizes that it is an honor to be serving them after they did so much for her, no matter how selfish they are or how awful they may treat her at times (you see thats because they have suuuuuuch a hard life!! its only natural they ~lash out~ every once in a while unu)
• And while both her parents try to act nice around her (ig deep down they do also kinda fear her bc they know virtually nothing about her), any outsider would quickly realize how much they actually seem to resent her existence.
• On the other hand, she hardly has any relationship with her brother, outside of him venting to her every once in a while. he is simply too focused on his own thing to care.
• also both her parents are very conservative. And while most of these views dont really end up rubbing on Miwako, she is kinda too comfortable to care to challenge them,, at least until Haruko comes around and she realizes how much she actually yearns for freedom.
• Having no friends (or gross motor skills) to play with, Miwako spent most of her childhood writing. At first it was just making up whatever weird story she could about literally anything or anyone she came across. But eventually, as she indulges in the horror movies her brother often bought (and of which she becomes an avid fan), she becomes more of an horror writer herself, with elements of psychological thriller, body horror, some dark humor and storylines that reference to many entities of japanese folk horror.
• She continues to indulge in this hobby as an adult, but convinced that her writing will take her nowhere (which turns out to be wrong), she decides to study engineering (she's always been good with math ig) so she can get a job at her father’s firm (even though she has no pressure to become his successor or anything bc her male brother literally exists and thats enough for him)
•Mostly known for being VERY soft spoken and having the social skills of a potato (cough undiagnosed autism cough). She grew up used to being on her own, so she has not much interest in interacting w others, and instead prefers to just observe them from the sidelines.
• That being said, and as much as she would like to pretend otherwise, she very deeply craves admiration
• She tries to be as kind as she can, but more so operating on the logic that it would do her no good to have others against her than anything.
• Considering the previous two points, she has zero issue in helping people with whatever they ask of her. At some point she even develops a liking for it, as it helps her feel appreciated under the guise of being helpful.
• Very smart and prone to notice (and overthink) details others dont, but she tries not to meddle with anything even if she finds it necessary, simply bc it is not her place to do so™️
• (she also tends to be VERY blunt whenever she makes these observations, so her talking permissions are often limited).
• People have this image of her as this shy naive girl incapable of doing anything remotely interesting ever. As such, they often tend to lower their guard around her, so she ends up finding out a lot of stuff she technically shouldn’t
• (as a result, and combined with how bored she is with her own life, she ends up becoming very nosy,,)
• Often uncomfortable with physical contact, unless she happens to REALLY trust a person
• Speaking of which. I once saw a tiktok where this girl said she dreamt that she woke up in a surgery table and this surgeon opened her up and just stared at her insides, admiring how "textbook perfect" they were and such. If I had to describe the way Miwako loves, it would kinda go like that (plus becoming VERY protective)
• Internalized homophobia final boss (which coming from me #1 yoshiyuki hatori enjoyer is saying a LOT). It’s more than anything a combination of being used to deny herself any pleasure (“having self control” as she calls it) and viewing her lesbianism as some form of degeneracy as she sees how much it deviates from what she learns is being a proper woman.
• Speaking of which!! her view on women as a whole is this very curious mix of internalized misogyny and pure raw lesbian yearning. She has a tendency to idealize women (specially those she deems as attractive) as perfect god-sent angels and will fixate over how pretty and talented and gentle they are or whatever,, but also her self hatred will have her resenting how perfect these women are
• And while she holds no actual malicious intent, a very very deep dark part of her does often wish to see these women fall from grace,, almost as some sort of reassurance.
• She holds absolutely no thoughts about men. She doesn’t care for them 👍
• (SHE GETS TO UNLEARN ALL OF THIS DW)
(from here on, it’s all stuff that a much more competent writer would write as a fanfic :D)
♡ PRE-SOLITAIRE (so her as a junjou terrorist secondary character)
Shinobus family has always been pretty close to Miwako’s: both of their fathers meet in college and become best friends; years later these guys marry and both their wives also become friends; and more years later both of their brothers (i.e. male Risako and Miwako's older brother) grow as childhood friends. Following this logic, one would expect Shinobu and Miwako to also be childhood friends, but truth is, Shinobu hardly paid Miwako any mind, so they pretty much just existed next to each other.
However, while you wouldn’t say Miwako was in *love* with Shinobu, she must have been in something with her, bc she spent a lot more time fixated over how perfect she was than she would like to admit. For years, Miwako simply dismisses it as being envious of Shinobu, which only helps to make her feel more pathetic and in turn worsen the envy more and more.
But everything changes this one time (they would be like 14-15 here) when Miwako is asked to help Shinobu with some math thing (the ONE thing Miwako can feel superior about). They are both in Shinobu’s room and she leaves to the bathroom or whatever. Miwako drops her eraser and when she gets on the floor to pick it up from under the bed, she finds a bunch of magazines hidden. She takes one out of curiosity and discovers nothing more and nothing less than a bunch of those old raunchy playboy (or the in-universe alternative to playboy) magazines.
Shinobu comes back, finds Miwako leafing through them and instantly panics. Here, she couldve told whatever lie she could come up with (that she found them around and got curious, that someone put them there to make her look bad, anything), but she cant. Instead, she simply begins to cry, begging Miwako to please not tell anyone about this (regardless of whether i think Shinobu’s parents would be homophobic or not, ig this would just be a very humiliating experience for her).
Miwako had been struggling with her own sexuality for a while now, and her tendency to want to see this ideal of perfection destroyed is very much present in how she thinks of Shinobu. So somehow, the fact that they both share this one impurity ends up amusing Miwako? As if shes been given access to this “dark” side of Shinobu ( not helped by how desperate Shinobu looked to keep it hidden) that she cant help but feel infatuated with. Thus, Miwako simply reassures Shinobu that her secret is safe with her.
(*eventually, Shinobu does let Miwako know that the magazines did belong to her brother and she did take them bc she was curious, which may or may not have something to do with her starting to question her own sexuality bc of a certain lady she liked to stalk at the library…..)
After this, they both seem to become weirdly close. Not attached-by-the-hip close or anything, but somehow, the fact that Miwako knows one of her deepest secrets and did not care for it in the slightest (or so she thinks) gives Shinobu the trust to just fully let her hair down around her and say things or act in ways she wouldn’t in front of other people.
And while at first Miwako just listens with a bit of morbid curiosity, she cant help but little by little become captivated by it all. And it goes way beyond wanting to tear down the idea of perfection she had of Shinobu anymore,, its the fact that, maybe for the first time in her life, getting to know someone in such an unfiltered way makes her feel close to a person.
It only takes Miwako so long to realize she is (or maybe always was) in love with Shinobu. But she never bothers to pursue her, bc no matter how imperfect Shinobu may be, she still is WAAAAAY too good to even fathom the idea of being with Miwako, so she simply conforms with being able to remain by her side…..until they both turn 18 and Shinobu decides to move to Australia to study uni :D
At that, Miwako doesn’t immediately reconnect with Shinobu once she comes back two years later, as she herself is busy with her own stuff. So she wouldn’t really become relevant to terrorist until miyanobu finally gets together (around the end of s2). Naturally, Miwako was the only person Shinobu confided to the fact that she was leaving because of Miyagi, as well as the whole background surrounding them. So imagine her shock when she finds out that the one person indirectly responsible for her only friend leaving is now being pursued by said friend ^^
From here on, Miwako starts serving as kind of an antagonist. Not quite a love rival bc, again, she has no interest in being with Shinobu romantically, but she does try to separate her and Miyagi. And while she mostly operates under the pretense of being “concerned” for Shinobu’s wellbeing (even managing to rub some of these insecurities on Miyagi), in the end Miwako’s actions are nothing but pure raw jealousy (kind of a “if I can’t have it, then no one can” sentiment, plus her fear that someone getting to know Shinobu better than she does might break them apart, as if she was losing the one thing that has always been just hers).
And while she does manage to cause some damage to the relationship, in the end she realizes that being with Miyagi was truly making Shinobu happy, so not wanting to truly hurt her any further, Miwako encourages and even helps her fix things, practically contradicting every single thing she had said to Miyagi when trying to separate them.
After that, Miwako continues being friends with Shinobu, promising herself to never reveal the feelings she had while waiting for time to make them go away. She would also keep appearing in terrorist every once in a while, ironically, as a form of support for Miyagi, as she still knows a lot more about Shinobu. (for example, that one time Miyagi realizes all their dates have been to places she likes and decides to go somewhere Shinobu would like instead, I’m thinking she would ask Miwako for advice on this instead of directly asking Shinobu, this to try to surprise her).
Miwako gets to know Haruko after the latter starts to rekindle her passion for architecture and gets a job at Miwako’s father’s construction firm (which also doubles as the beginning of a business pact between them and Usami Group).
Their first interaction happens when Miwako corrects Haruko (not very nicely…) over some design error during a meeting. After the meeting, Miwako’s father pulls his daughter to the side and practically forces her to apologize to Haruko. However, when Miwako does so, Haruko quickly recognizes that she doesn’t actually mean this apology, and instead thanks her for her honesty.
Appreciating that Miwako has been the only person so far to not walk on eggshells around her (something something like that one time Misaki calls Haruhiko idiot being what detonates his crush on him,,,,), Haruko starts feeling interested in her. A similar feeling arises in Miwako, but rather than amused, she starts to feel threatened by how she keeps thinking way too much about Haruko (making emphasis, aside of how pretty and graceful she is and blah blah blah, on how passionate she is about this job Miwako still struggles to enjoy). She remembers very well how she felt back with Shinobu, and the thought of going there again and doing something awful in result really scared her.
And so, the solution Miwako finds to not end up doing something that may hurt herself or Haruko is…… trying to sabotage Haruko so that she leaves to another firm :D
A bunch of things happen, and for a while Miwako is capable of going on with her evil scheme, seeming perfectly innocent in front of everyones (Haruko included) by making good use of her reputation as this nothingburger weirdo. Things become harder and harder tho, because they keep spending time together and, as they get to learn about each other and the different perspectives their careers (Haruko as an architect and Miwako as an engineer) give them, they end up feeling more and more infatuated with one another.
Until one day Miwako ends up alone with Haruko (locked up somewhere bc bad quality locks idk) with nothing else to do but talk. And between this and that, Miwako ends up confessing everything, even going as far as to claim (in a very emotion driven impulse) that she might be starting to fall for Haruko. And despite knowing she should be mad, Haruko can’t help but feel weirdly amused, as this kind of reminds her of how desperate she used to be back in the day about Misaki,, so she confesses that she is starting to feel a similar way about Miwako and was trying really hard to act normal about it, as to not overstep it like she did back with Misaki.
And it is in this moment, amidst the stress and emotionality of it all, that they both finally end up giving in to their desires, having their first time be some form of pseudo office sex (pseudo bc they cant do much past making out and dry humping without getting out of the security cameras blind spot) and its sweet and very awkward bc none of them had ever done anything like this in their lives.
But yeah anyways after that their relationship would be at that weird will-they-won’t-they stage, which to everyone else’s eyes is just them becoming ~very close friends~ (of which Miwako’s dad and brother will try to take advantage of,,,,,,,)
At some point, Haruko will be staying at Miwako’s place and accidentally find the notebook she does her writing on. Miwako panics until, to her surprise, Haruko actually shows genuine interest for her work. She even suggests she publishes it (which is super ironic bc remember how Haruhiko used to shit on Usagi for being a novelist?? yeah), but Miwako refuses and just makes Haruko swear no one else is going to find out about this.
Things go on as normal until one day Miwako stays at Haruko’s place and forgets her notebook. And at some point between this and her getting it back, Isaka (remember that Isaka is supposed to be Haruhiko’s childhood friend? yeahhh) pays a visit, finds it (without Haruko knowing) and ends up fascinated with it.
Things continue as normal until at some point Isaka and Miwako coincide in Haruko’s home, and Isaka starts rambling about how some people are soooo talented and just won’t make good use of it. Miwako understands that Isaka knows about her notebook (although she doesn’t seem to know it was Miwako behind it), assumes it was Haruko who showed it to her, gets really mad, and lashes out at Haruko and says a lot of horrible stuff (and its supposed to be super sad bc it happens right when Haruko had finally gathered the courage to properly ask her out :c).
Haruko eventually confronts Isaka, as she was the last person Miwako talked to before the misunderstanding. And after finding out the whole truth, Isaka decides to pay Miwako a visit to clear Haruko’s name and then practically beg her (in the same fashion she begged Usagi to publish her works all those years ago) to PLEASE let her publish her work, even going as far as to promise her the best editor she can and whatever other privilege she can think of.
Miwako and Haruko reconcile. Miwako also lets Haruko know about Isaka’s offer, and even tho she really fears this might mean drifting away from Miwako, Haruko tries to convince her to take it, kind of mirroring what Misaki had said to her years ago. And so Miwako decides to do it, also assuring Haruko that she wouldn’t be leaving her father’s firm anyways bc she is a dead woman if her parents find out about this and also, in a way, this job does give her some inspiration...
Haruko promises that she will keep the secret (both of them also promise to be a lot more careful in general jfhsjdhh), finally asks Miwako out and that is how they become girlfriends :D (and also this would be the first time they have full on sex bc symbolism)
And from here on, their story would focus on how they continue their relationship despite the constant meddling and power struggle between their families (trying to synch it with how it goes in romantica), not to mention both their urges to continue digging deeper into the other's true self and let themselves be influenced by it, all this despite Miwako's constant inner dilemma bc of her self-hatred and Haruko's not wanting to let herself lose her cool.
Miwako enters to Marukawa as a ghostwriter (although with a much more chill schedule than the one usagi has) and eventually develops a very close friendship with the veteran editor and the relatively popular illustrator (whose name she will use to publish her works) assigned to her. As such, another huge element of the plot would be Miwako trying to balance her work as an engineer and as a writer with growing popularity.
And also !!! remember how I said her style includes elements of japanese folk? As it turns out, in this au Hiroki and Miyagi are editors in the Marukawa literature department instead of univesity profesors (bc the disconnect of egoist and terrorist with the whole Marukawa thing reallyyyyy peeves me i made a post about that once,,,,,), and since their whole thing is precisely classical japanese literature, they (specially Miyagi bc wouldnt that be ironic) would end up appearing every once in a while as some sort of "consultants" for Miwako.
And speaking of preexisting characters appearing, I would also further develop the friendship between Miwako and Shinobu into a healthier version of what it used to be, as well as the ones between Haruko and Misaki and Isaka respectively. And maybe this could also be a very good chance to kinda redeem Haruko with Usagi :D
But i dont have anything specific planned for this yet so bye for now 👍
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