alive and kicking! just have a lot of exams and assignments piling up, but in a few weeks my schedule will look kinder again so I hope I'll be able to write something soon!
-> not only is mattheo too late to ask you out to the yule ball, you're going with harry potter of all people. now, his best friend is going to the ball with his nemesis and he has some feelings about it.
-> mattheo riddle x bsf! reader; part b; eventual nsfw; mdni; wc: 12k; cw: swear words; mentions of violence; tags: friends to lovers, yule ball setup; again I wasn't able to tag everyone, sorry :(
( masterlist )
The crystal glass dangled loosely from Mattheo’s fingers, the deep red of the wine catching the flickering candlelight as he swirled it absentmindedly. The Great Hall, all decked in crystal blue, was filled with the chatter of students streaming in from the Entrance Hall, their dresses swirling in and ot of the crowd like a particularly hypnotizing kaleidoscope. Mattheo leaned against one of the grand marble pillars, the cool stone pressing into his back, but it did nothing to ground him- not when he spotted you in the midst of a large Gryffindor crowd squeezing through the Entrance Gates.
A slow burn seemed to spread out beneath his skin as he cursed the tight knot forming in his stomach- he had sworn to himself that he would not care. At least not visibly. That he’d drink, flirt, maybe even steal someone else onto the dance floor just to pass the time. But then he spotted you, and all his carefully built indifference collapsed. And here he was, clutching his glass so tightly it was damn near shattering under his grip and scowling as his eyes seemed unable to sway from your figure.
Despite having seen you just a few minutes before and having had to refrain himself from dragging you off to his dorm, the sight of you in your emerald green dress hit him like a slap in the face. It wasn’t for him -he knew that, damn it- but it didn’t matter. Because it was not just any green, but the kind that curled around his ribs like a vice, the kind that belonged to him. Deep, rich emerald, his color, pooling at your feet in silken waves, clinging to your skin in a way that made his fingers twitch with the urge to touch.
And yet, you weren’t on his arm. You were on Potter’s. And the sight of it -of Harry fucking Potter standing where Mattheo should have been- lit something violent and unsteady beneath his skin.
He rolled his jaw, exhaling slow and controlled breaths as he lifted the wine to his lips. The taste was sharp, bitter, but not nearly bitter enough. It did nothing to drown out the ugly feeling in his chest, curling around his insides like a snake, eager to squeeze all life out of him. A slow, pulsing irritation clawing at his chest.
He should look away. Should let the scene wash over him like he didn’t give a damn, like it didn’t matter that stood so close to you you could’ve been kissing, like it didn’t make his blood hum with something ugly. But he didn’t. Couldn’t. Because no matter how much he told himself he didn’t care, there you were, wrapped in green silk like a present for him alone, ready to be unraveled.
Fuck. He really should have asked you sooner. How stupid of him to assume no one but him would ask you, how cowardly of him to keep teetering the edge without delving into the abyss with you, holding you tight as he fell from the heavens. But he’d drag you down with him. As a joke, you had called him a fallen angel once- and though he wasn’t so sure about himself, you had to be a creature of the heavens, with that smile and laugh of yours, with the way you eagerly listened to your friends and ran a hand over your dress. He could read your face like it was an open book, read your mingling self-consciousness in the dress, and it drove him mad. Made him burn to stride over and show you exactly just how stunning you were.
But in that exact moment, your eyes scanned the crowd and met his, widening slightly. A hesitant smile tugged at your lips. Innocent. As if you had no idea of the effect you had on him, the way he craved you, the way he boiled with hot anger when Harry noticed your distractedness and glanced over. And had the audacity to snake his arm around your waist. His jaw clenched and he willed himself to remain in place when Potter leaned in and whispered something to you. Merlin, this night would be hell. On his way down from heaven, it seemed he had missed earth and landed right in the devil’s lair.
“Everything alright?” At the sound of Harry’s voice close to your ear you flinched slightly, blinking to regain your normal train of thought- the one that didnt want to crash face first into the man currently glaring at you from across the hall.
You turned to Harry and gave him a friendly smile you hoped wouldn’t betray the mix of nervosity, self-consciousness and unbearable excitement curling in your chest. “Yeah,” you said quickly, clearing your throat. “You?” Because Harry had been squirming against your side ever since you’d set foot in the Great Hall.
A light frown pulled his brows together as he glanced fleetingly in the direction of the man you had been caught up with just before, tugging lightly at your waist to quicken your steps. “I’m alright, just terrified Riddle’s death stares will turn into actual curses,” he said, chuckling slightly but with a visible nervousness in the way his fingers twitched and eyes darted back every other second.
Refusing to look back at Mattheo, you leaned into Harry and gave him a reassuring smile. “If he comes this way, I’ll fall to my knees dramatically so you can make your escape.” That elicited a laugh from Harry, and, visibly calmer, he guided you towards the center of the room, followed by your Gryffindor friends.
Enzo, who stood next to Mattheo waiting for his Ravenclaw date for the night, whistled under his breath as you laughed with Harry, and nudged Theo. “She sure dolled herself up for Potter, didn’t she?”
The other chuckled in return, eyes flashing over to Mattheo who’s jaw was taut as his eyes remained glued to your figure. “Yeah…,” he said slowly, gauging his reaction out of the corner of his eye, “Dunno if I would dress like that for a friend.” Him and Enzo shared an amused look when Mattheo scoffed at them, knocking back the remaining wine. With careful words, they stoked the flames, ready to save themselves into appropriate safety distance once their prodding caused a wildfire.
But Mattheo stood eerily still, resembling a marble statue more so than a man. With a barely concealed smirk, Theo leaned over Enzo and dropped his voice, directly addressing him. “Careful, mate, you’re staring hard enough to set him on fire.”
Abruptly, Mattheo pushed himself off the wall and both Enzo and Theo took an instinctive step back. But Mattheo only glared at them in a way that had cold seep into their very bones before scowling at his empty glass. “I’ll get a refill.” And he was gone.
Weaving through bodies and dresses, Mattheo made his way to the bar, simplified somewhat by the instinctive step back people took at the sight of him. Muttering a frustrated curse under his breath, he slammed his empty glass on the bar counter, along with a few knuts to pay for the refill.
Breathing in the whifts of so many perfumes certainly didn’t clear the fog in his mind. Quite the opposite, they seemed to claw at the more rational functions of his brain, whispering in deivilishly seductive tones. In search of a distraction, he let is gaze flicker, but, as if it was magnetically drawn to it, it came to rest on your figure once more.
Beneath his fuming fury lay something deeper, more tender. As he watched you pull Harry onto the dancefloor with a look of mock pleading, he found himself completely enraptured with the way your lips moved, the way your dress swayed and your eyes shone bright. If it was him following you onto the dancefloor, would your smile be as wide? Why would it be? Harry’s hands were hesitant and gentle, his were stained with an unwanted legacy and the blood that you would always wash off of him, running a soft towel over his knuckles and cleaning his palms carefully.
You were all softness and gentleness, he was jagged edges and destruction. Where people flinched away from him, they seemed to gravitate towards your light. A light that Harry matched, while he was the dark, lurking in the shadows. A greedy, beastly creature that, in spite of loving you, craved to ruin you more than anything. Had he been delusional to consider that someone like you could ever love something as twisted as him?
It wasn't like he didn’t know you deserved better- maybe it had been what made it unable for him to finally bridge the gap, pull you into him in moments when your lips would hover close, yet impossibly far from each other. You were dancing in the light, and all he could think about was dragging you back into the shadows with him.
As you animated Potter to dance with you, he felt a pang of hurt tug at his bruised heart. Potter was the sort of guy you brought home to your family. He got to dance with you, while Mattheo got to drown in his own poison and pretend he didn’t care, ignore the monster rattling his ribcage, yearning to break free. Rolling his jaw tensely, he grabbed the filled glass and took off towards his friends once more.
“You’re so much better at this than me,” sighed Harry in frustration, staring intently at his feet as if willing them to repeat the same, easy steps.
His tense concentration elicited a small laugh from you. “i had practice. Harry, your feet are not the enemy, you don’t have to work against them, you have to let them carry you.”
“But I don’t trust them,” he murmured, albeit taking his eyes off the floor with a sigh- and promptly stepping on your foot. When you winced, a string of apologies stumbled form his lips like a waterfall, but you quickly assured him it was alright. the embarrassment left a pink hue on his cheeks and his eyes darted around, as if looking for an escape. They rested on someone behind you and twitched into a sudden grin. “Don’t turn around now,” he said conspiratorially, leaning down and lowering his voice. “But I think Pucey’s date might puke on his dress robes with the way she keeps squirming away from him.”
In spite of his warning, you shot a quick look over your shoulder and broke out into giggles when you spotted Pucey awkwardly dancing with his very unentertained date.
Mattheo’s grip on the glass tightened as you giggled at Potter’s joke. You were too far for him to hear the sound of your laugh, but he didn’t need to- the way your face lit up was enough to twist something savage inside him. Mattheo’s jaw ticked, a muscle twitching as he dragged his teeth across his bottom lip, biting down hard enough to taste blood. You shouldn’t be looking at Potter like that. That softness in your eyes, the kind Mattheo craved like a dying man craved air, wasn’t meant for him. And yet, there you were- beautiful, untouchable, clean and unspoiled, unlike him.
“I’m serious!” Harry called as the song took up speed and rhythm. Not even your pleading eyes seemed to sway him to twist you. “I can’t do stuff like that. I’m a miserable dancer!”
“Come on!” you groaned with a mix of amusement and exasperation. “It’s really easy, and I’ll be doing most of the heavy lifting anyway! Just hold your hand up like this-” He followed your order, clumsily spinning you around so that you stumbled into each other and almost crashed into Professor McGonnagall and Professor Dumbledore. Despite her pointed glare, you giggled like schoolchildren as you shuffled away from them.
Mattheo watched Harry twist you clumsily, and a bitter sort of satisfaction burned in the back of his throat, barely eased by the alcohol. “Pathetic,” he muttered sharply under his breath, eyes trained on you as you eased Harry back into dancing, cringing slightly when he stepped on your foot again. Fuck, how much better he would do if he was in Potter’s place. It was like the idiot wasn’t even trying.
Mattheo may not desreve you, but heavens strike him down if he couldn’t give you a better time than Potter. He wouldn’t hold you like you were a fragile thing, made of glass, shattering at the slightest tightening of a grip. As he followed your swaying figure with his eyes, he could picture it all: how he would hold and twirl you properly, his princess, his sweetheart. How he would whisper in your ear, tell you how gorgeous you looked, making you blush and giggle, or bite back a witty response.
Like the time a few months ago, when you’d practiced a quickstep. The topic had come up during one of your nights up at the Astronomy tower, him smoking and you pressed to his side, going through your Transfiguration notes. Under the watchful stars, he’d admitted to you that it had been Theo who had taught him how to dance, to both of their great frustration. The thought had amused you so much you had toppled over with laughter, and he remembered his heart picking up speed when you leaned against him for support, teasing him about the mental images he’d produced with this revelation.
Once you’d teased him thoroughly, you’d asked if you could rehearse the steps- supposedly for your refreshment of skill. You had barely tried to hide the fact that it was an excuse, and he hadn’t been about to question it when it presented such a tempting opportunity. There had been no record player up in the tower, but you’d simply pulled him up and rehearsed the steps. It had turned out he had more to learn from you than you from him.
With Theo as his teacher, it had been all steps, rigid rules, organised and contained, a pragmatic use of the legs. With you, however, it had been different. You had known what it meant to dance. The movement came natural to you, it wasn’t bound to rules or control, but a way to break free and let loose. It had been quite the adjustment, but Mattheo had found he much preferred your way of dancing. And by midnight, he had twirled you skillfully beneath the starry sky, your giggles and his teasing the only thing breaking the solitude of silence.
This night, however, felt like a warped version of the one he’d spend with you up at the tower. Too much noise, too many people and no clear fucking air, and instead of him, it was Potter holding you. At least you weren’t slow dancing.
His attention was momentarily averted when Pansy came stumbling towards him, Blaise following after. Their short breaths and the remnants of lipstick all over Blaise's face and neck were enough of an indicator where they’d been off too, as were the beaming grins on their faces.
Pansy, clearly already drunk, reached out and grabbed his drink, downing it. Too engrossed in the sight of Potter attempting another twirl that was just slightly less atrocious, he didn’t try to stop her. The alcohol didn’t help his overstimulated senses and cloudy mind anyway, only adding another layer of distortion to make him dizzy. He was miserable, he was fuming, and he couldn’t even drown his troubles in booze. Just great.
“Didn’t feel like dancing?” Pansy asked with a smirk. She leaned against the pillar next to him as Blaise left to get drinks for them both.
“You didn’t either, by the looks of it,” he quipped, eyes shortly tracing the marks that the dress was not accustomed to hide.
Pansy seemed as unbothered as usual though, only shooting him another smug smile. “She was cute though,” she said, grabbing a handful of chocolates off the plate of a waiter passing by them. “Ravenclaw, right?”
“Who?” asked Mattheo, taken aback, and stared at her incredulously.
Pansy toppled over with a snort. “You can’t be serious. You didn’t even see her? She was flirting with you for a good minute before she gave up.”
“Must’ve been distracted,” he muttered, glancing back to the dancefloor where you seemed to animate Potter’s spirits to little avail.
“I can see that,” Pansy jeered, following his gaze. “Merlin, she could’ve at least picked someone who knows how to dance. But then again-” She gave him a look he didn’t reciprocate, “it may still have been the best choice, don’t you think?”
“What the fuck makes you say that, Pans?” he asked sharply, letting his head fall back against the cold stone. At least the pain provided a small window out of the damn dizziness clouding his thoughts. “Just look at him, you could almost pity him.”
“Well, look at you,” she mused, which made him lift his head and frown at her. Pansy rolled her eyes in exasperation, actual sharpness laced into her tone as she glared at him. “Look, I’m tired of this. We all are. So either clear things up with her or you find yourself a good fuck for the night, Riddle. It’s an imposition to watch you brood.” Pushing herself off the marble pillar, she left in the direction of the bar, leaving Mattheo alone with his frustration.
He gritted his teeth as he rolled her words over in his mind. As if it were that easy. It was true that he had earned himself quite the reputation as a womanizer, or, as you called it, a manwhore, but his one night stands had become less and less frequent the closer he’d become with you over these past few months. He had always fucked for the distraction, never for the desire or the satisfaction. The fleeting high was a short moment of freedom, the control he could excerpt through his accommodated skills in bed a grim gratification.
But now, a burning desire unlike any he had ever known had taken a hold of him and wrapped an unrelenting hand around his heart. It would burn beneath his fingertips when he slipped his hands teasingly under your shirt, brushed his fingers over your thigh, pulled you into his lap. These short-lived moments that were both torture and fulfilment, especially when you’d blush and avert your eyes, when he would lean his head into the crook of your neck and listen to your heartbeat picking up speed.
Any time he’d have a girl in his bed now, all he could picture was you. When he kissed them, he imagined it was your lips, and when his hands would run along their bodies, he would imagine it was yours. He couldn’t stand it when they started moaning and talking, because it would fracture the fantasy and remind him that they weren’t you. But his bare hands weren’t enough either- they only intensified his desire to have you, to consume you, to see you fall apart on his cock and fingers. And it had the annoying downside that the girls he used as substitutes were, understandably, very indignant when it was your name he grunted when he came instead of theirs.
If he tried to distract himself with another hookup tonight, all he would be able to picture would be you and your dress, and there would be nothing but frustration at the thought, of unrequired longing. He also would have to fight the mental image of you if you found out how he was using others to fantasize about you. No, finding someone else to fuck wasn’t an option. So, what choice remained?
At that moment, the song ended and the crowd broke out into applause for the band. Stupid relief flooded him when Potter took his hands from your waist, tinged with slight satisfaction when it was Mattheo who he cast a nervous glance at, as if he’d touched a forbidden fruit. It cost him everything in the world to give him a harsh nod towards you. Fucking hell. Now he was directing his worst enemy to dance with his girl. But the last thing he wanted, truly, was to ruin your night. His was already miserable enough.
The band struck up a new, slower tune. It seemed to be a song you recgonized and you turned to Potter excitedly, but the latter seemed less enthusiastic at the prospect of another dance. After a short discourse, you seemed to reluctantly agree and readily let Potter tug you off the dance floor. Mattheo pushed himself off the cold stone digging into his back.
“I’ll get us some drinks, okay?” asked Harry, craning his neck to spot your friends. But Ron and Hermoine were occupied with each other on the dancefloor, Seamus and Lavender were making out near the teacher’s table, Neville was busy at his bartending shift and neither Ginny nor Dean where anywhere to be seen.
“Alright,” you smiled, albeit slightly disappointed that he had only done the mandatory dance with you, especially when it was one of your favorite songs playing. With an awkward nod towards you, he hurried off in the direction of the bar to join the crowd swarming Neville for drinks. You were left standing on the edge of the dancefloor as people swayed around you elegantly.
Just when you had decided that you might as well find some place to sit and treat your disappointment with some cake, an all-too familiar voice sounded behind you. “Guess Potter finally gave up, huh?”
With a startled gasp, you whipped around. It was like magic. One moment, Harry was leaving for drinks, the next, Mattheo seemed to materialize beside you as if he’d been waiting all right for the opportunity to strike. He leaned in, close enough that you could smell the light whift of alcohol on him. His frustrated scowl from earlier had shifted into a sharp grin practically dripping with mischief. His eyes, however, were as rough and stormy as ever as they raked over your figure. “Mind if I fill in? You look a little lonely, sweetheart.”
You felt conflcited as you stared up into those brown eyes you knew so well. If you took the hand he held out to you, gave into temptation, it would be just as always: you'd both reap the benefits without committing. He’d flirt and smile and charm his ass out of actually putting his skin in the game and asking you out- just like always.
Sensing your hesitation, he sighed and dropped his hand, running it through his curls instead. For a moment, his jaw was taut with tension, then, a flirtatious grin spread across his face once more and he seemed to reset. “Well,” he drawled smoothly, stepping even closer but making no move to touch you, “Do tell me what a pretty girl like you is doing in a place like this.”
The line was so old-fashioned and cliche it sounded comical, but despite your better judgement, your body betrayed you. You could only hope that he interpreted the flush on your cheeks as a consequence of all the dancing. The way his grin widened told you that he, in fact, did not. “And most of all,” he continued, leaning in so far you could smell the faint trace of a smoke, “what loser would would leave you to the vultures like this?”
“I hope you know that you are the vulture, Mattheo,” you replied in a fruitless attempt to divert from your flusteredness. It was the damn suit he was wearing- all black with just the faintest hint of green threading through the fabric, and beneath, his white, for once unbloodied, shirt that clung to him like it was stitched to his skin. The sharp lines of his jacket, the undone top buttons of his shirt, and the way his silver rings glinted against the dark material made it almost unfair how good he looked.
A devilish grin spread across his lips when you returned his heated gaze. “Oh, I know,” he agreed humorously. “And what’s he going to do about it when I steal away his girl? When he left you all alone?”
“I’m not his girl,” you replied coolly, ignoring the way your heart started to pound. All adrenaline from the dance, you tried to convince yourself.
But the sickeningly sweet smile he gave you didn’t only prove you wrong but somehow managed to melt your resolve. “Good news for me then, sweetheart.” Again, he held out his hand for you to take. His rings caught the light, they seemed to glint like a forbidden temptation, drawing you in. Merlin, how inviting that hand looked. “Dance with me,” he muttered, face only inches from yours, his dark eyes studying yours intently, as if he could see your perseverance crumble behind them. It wasn’t a question.
You hesitated for another second, eyes darting over the crowd to find Harry. You spotted him near the bar, chatting animatedly with Ginny, the drinks long-forgotten in his hands. When you looked back at Mattheo, his eyes pierced yours with unexpected intensity that made you swallow.
You shouldn't be doing this. There were rules you had set up for yourself tonight. This was supposed to be your game, not his. But his pull was as irresistible as that of a black hole, drawing you in and clouding your senses. The slight nod you gave him was enough.
With a gentleness you that surprised you, he took your hand, his other finding its place on your lower back as he guided you onto the dancefloor. Mattheo danced differently from Harry- more confident, slower, like he wanted to take his time rather than get it over with. His hand rested lower on your waist and he was so much closer.
The world blurred around him as all you could see was him in that damn suit, all you could feel was the burning touch of his hands, all you could smell were the traces of alcohol and smoke lingering on him like a reminder of who you were dancing with. You could have closed your eyes - if looking into his wasn’t so damn magnetizing- and recognized him by touch and scent alone, would have been able to differentiate him under all the boys of Hogwarts.
His grip on you was firm, but his more fleeting touches were tender. After a few steps, he had rid himself of all stiffness and you could feel his body mold into yours in a way that made your breath hitch slightly. His index finger drew circles on your waist.
You had wanted him to crack, to drop the teasing and admit what lingered beneath the surface. But you were rendered putty in his deft hands. Now, as his fingers splayed against the small of your back, seeming to tug you closer with each smooth step, you felt the pieces of your little game shifting in his favor. It was no longer yours to control. His touch burned through the fabric of your dress, deliberate and unhurried, like he had all the time in the world to break you down.
The worst part by far was that he knew. Mattheo knew what he was doing, what power he held over you, and he wielded it like a blade wrapped in silk. His self-assured smile was like a checkmate, each wandering touch of his hands tightening the invisible thread he was weaving around you. He was spinning you in slow, deliberate circles, until you couldn’t tell whether you were chasing after him or he was already dragging you under. “Tell me, sweetheart,” he taunted you, leaning in until your temples nearly brushed. “This what you imagined when you said yes to him?”
This night had taken a tolerable turn, Mattheo thought to himself when a hint of pink dusted your cheeks and your eyes flickered away from his, well aware that he could see right through you. “I almost felt bad for him,” he smirked, “Watching him try not to trip over his own feet while you smiled through it.”
“It was sweet!” you exclaimed, feeling the need to defend Harry’s honor after you had made him a pawn in this game you were losing so miserably. “He tried his best!”
Mattheo raised his brows in mock scepticism. “Sweet? Sure, if that’s what you want to call a game of dodge the shoe.”
Recognizing a certain sharpness in his tone, you quirked your brow at him. “Jealous you didn’t get the chance to break my toes first?”
Mattheo shrugged slightly as his eyes flickered over your face, lingering for the split of a second on your lips. His pulled into a subtle grin when he noticed the way your breath came out as an airy tremble. “Jealous? Sure,” he purred, “Of your toes? Not exactly.”
His slight tap on your waist was the only sign you needed. You took the smallest of steps back and Mattheo spun you effortlessly, his hand like a firm anchor on your waist as he watched you with the kind of intensity that made your heart stumble. The room blurred around you as he twirled you back into his chest, taking a subtle step forward so your chest met his with more force than necessary. From the glint in his eyes, you knew he had done it deliberately.
“He danced like he was afraid you'd shatter if he held you too tight,” Mattheo sneered as he established a steady rhythm once more.
You gave him an unimpressed look. “Not everyone feels the need to manhandle me, Mattheo.”
Your words elicited a small chuckle from him; he seemed more light-hearted than he had at any point these last few weeks. “Maybe they aren’t up to your standards then,” he quipped back, running his thumb over your side. “Where is he off to, anyway? if he wanted to leave so badly, he could’ve handed you over to me.”
“Handed you over?” you scoffed, indignantly, and arched your brows at him. “That what I am now, some prize?”
“Don’t pout, sweetheart,” he smiled, leaning in. “You’re the one all wrapped up in silk like you’re a bloody gift.” This time, you didn’t receive a warning before both his hands dug into your sides and he lifted you up shortly, mirroring your fellow dancing pairs. You, who hadn’t seen it coming over all the whispering and being enraptured by his everything, gave a short yelp that made the grin on his face widen.
When his temple touched yours, your eyes fluttered shut and you enjoyed the moment to its fullest extent: feeling his skin on yours, the heat of his hand through your dress, his breath mingling with yours and his proximity enabling you to listen to the steady flow of his breath. The only thing that could ground you, as the ground seemed to unravel beneath your feet and all you could make out as reality rather than illusion was him. For one second of a lifetime, he was the sun you revolved around like a planet, forever stuck in its endless circles, cursed to reach out for him forever and never get to burn under his raw touch.
“I like your dress,” Mattheo muttered into the small space between your and his lips.
A small smile tugged on yours, and for this moment, all the pushing and pulling, challenging and playing, the threading of the needle, the teetering of the edge was forgotten. “Well, I like your suit too,” you mused. “You look good without all the blood.”
The chuckle seemed to get stuck in his throat, his voice a raspy whisper. “Don’t lie, sweetheart, you think I don’t know how hot you find me all bloody?” You parted just an inch or two to glare up at him, into those knowing eyes of his, restless as ever. “You’re an awful, awful person, Mattheo.” But you didn’t mean it. And he knew you didn’t.
“Oh, I know,” he purred, a grin pulling at his lips. “A right devil, aren’t I?”
“As I said,” you sighed, swaying in his arms. “A fallen angel.. Suits you though.” And if you’d stood just a few inches closer, if the music wasn’t still thrumming in your ears like an underlying growl, maybe you would have registered the way Mattheo's heart rate picked up speed at your words.
“Might want to pull away a bit, sweetheart,” he breathed without making any indication of following his own advice. “People might start to talk. And what a story that would be.”
“You dragged me onto the dancefloor, Mattheo,” you reminded him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of looking around for the stares that probably lingered on the pair of you, the same that would not subside however many times you leaned half-asleep against him during breakfast.
His grin took on a sharper edge, and you could feel in your very cells that the game was on again. “Only because you looked like you were waiting for me," he murmured lowly, causing heat to rush up into your cheeks because he made it sound like an undeniable truth. And it was.
You had nothing to retaliate, so you huffed and puffed for a few seconds before frowning up at him. “Since when have either of us cared about what other people think?”
“Oh, I certainly haven’t,” he said with the slightest air of superiority in his tone as his eyes flickered over your flushed features. Suddenly, his hand moved as he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you flush against him, making you gasp and any and all response die in your throat, your brain short-circuiting. “Tell me, sweetheart,” he drawled under his breath, lips almost brushing yours. “Did you blush for Potter like that, too, or is it just me?”
It was this moment- the moment when the overwhelming desire to crash your lips gaainst his in front of the whole school took over your thinking, when you reminded yourself that you were mad at him, actually. What he was doing right now was the same exact thing you had been mad at him for for weeks: insinuating, flirting, touching, smiling, teetering the edge but copping out of any commitment or clarifying. Pulling away felt like the hardest thing in the world, but you managed to take a step back when the band finished the last note on a dramatic edge.
For one second, the world seemed suspended between you and him, right here on the dance floor, before you blinked and clarity flooded your brain. “I need some air,” you whispered, staring into his eyes as if hypnotized before you were able to pull yourself out of your trance. Swallowing your bitter regret, you gave him one last, fleeting glance before turning and weaving into the moving bodies of your fellow dancers, moving around you like a colorful marble game, in dire need of some fresh air to clear your racing thoughts.
From the way the people shuffled behind you, you knew Mattheo was coming after you, but you didn’t turn around to check- you didn’t have to. You could feel his gaze bruning into your back, felt almost as if you could differentiate the sound of his footsteps from those of the people scurrying out of his way.
People didn’t clear the path for you as they did for him, and so you were slower as you slipped through their midst, but Mattheo made no move to catch up to you, even when he easily could have. He seemed to follow you at a deliberate, short distance as you squeezed yourself through the small gap between a group of laughing Hufflepuff boys and a group of animetedly chatting Ravencalw girls and slipped through the glass doors onto the large, thankfully empty balcony.
Beneath the castle, it’s lights were reflected in the dark lake, shimmering secretively and blinking up at you as if they were mocking you. You leaned against the stone railing, gaze fixed onto the scenery below, painted in the dark shadows of a cold winter night. Mattheo’s footsteps sounded distinctly against the stone: slow, deliberate, and steadily approaching your figure. You refused to turn to him, knowing your expression would betray your wound up state.
When he was so close you could hear his breath over the muted sounds from inside the Great Hall, his step haltered as he stopped some two feet behind you, looming between you and the warm glow of the hall like a shadow. After a short silence, in which only the rustle of wind clawing at the castle walls was to be heard, he was the first to speak up. “Didn’t take you long to run off, sweetheart,” he said, words rolling off his tongue like the purr of a predator a second away from cornering its unknowing prey. “Was it something I said?”
An unbelieving scoff left your lips and you propped your arm up on the stone railing, rubbing your hand over your temple in frustration. “It’s everything you say, Mattheo.”
Even though you couldn’t see him, it was as if you could feel the way he raised his brows at you. A frustrated huff stumbled from your lips as you glared onto the dark lake, this stupidly serene scenery. “You- you think you can just flirt and smirk your way through this like nothing in the damn world could ever touch Mattheo Riddle.”
The light chuckle resonating behind you was so damn cocky and confident as if the world would bend under the weight of his fingertips, of his very voice- and didn’t he have all the reason to? “I don’t think,” his voice sounded softly behind you, so fucking self-assured it made your blood boil. “I know.”
With a sharp, humorless laugh, you threw your hands into the air. “And there we have the problem, way to self-report!”
The sound of his steps drew nearer, clearly distinct against the contrasting silence. His voice was a hiss through gritted teeth, his flirtatious teasing replaced by the violent turmoil that had been boiling in his chest all night. “That’s the problem, yeah?” he asked sharply, leaning against the stone railing right next to you. Stubbornly, you stared onto the black mass that was the dark forest, even as he leaned in and his lips brushed over the shell of your ear. “‘cause you sure looked real cozy with your friend Potter out there.”
“You care too much about my date,” you hissed, fully aware of the hypocrisy of your words. They were meant to wound him up, like the pull down to your end was nothing but a fatalistic tide you had to give into.
The scoff seemed to be interlaced into his tone as he withdrew from your figure slightly, leaning both forearms against the railing. So close, yet so far. “Did I say I cared?” he asked into the night, voice as cold as the winter breeze chilling your bones.
At those words, you finally whipped around to face him and folded your arms over your chest. “You sure act like it,” you said quickly, defensively.
With a low chuckle, Mattheo turned to you once more, his eyes piercing yours and you knew. Knew that he saw right through every excuse, every lie, every wall. Because Mattheo, for all the good and the bad it entailed, knew you, and he knew you well. His lips curled into a smirk as he leaned in. “And you sure act like you want me to.”
“God!” you exclaimed angrily and threw your hands into the air, no outlet for your aggression other than Mattheo. But he didn’t seem much different, as he laughed under his breath and inched even closer, until his shoulder brushed yours and his breath fanned your cheeks. Your heart beat rapidly in your chest as your eyelids fluttered. It was hard to hold onto determination when he was looking at you like this, when an outright devilish smile tugged at his lips.
“You like this, don’t you?" he muttered, eyes wandering over your face to detect any hesitation, any twitch, any fleeting glimpse of emotion. “The push an’ the pull, the fight?” A sarcastic smile graced his lips when he lowered his head to yours.
“I hate it,” you lied through gritted teeth, refusing to look away from him and narrowing your eyes stubbornly.
Mattheo’s fingers curled around your wrist, his grip firm but not painful- just enough to make your pulse stutter beneath his thumb. He lifted your hand as if inspecting it, dark eyes gleaming with something wicked when he felt the frantic beat of your heart. “Then why haven’t you left yet?” he murmured, voice dripping with mockery as he raised his other hand and the pad of his finger drawing a deliberate line to your collarbone. His knuckles brushed against your neck, featherlight, before he tilted his head and let his fingertip graze the spot where your pulse hammered beneath your skin. “Why is your heart beating like it’s got something to tell me?”
You could only pray the dark concealed the heat rushing to your cheeks as your breath got stuck in your throat. His fingertips grazing your pulse, both on your neck and on your wrist, made you feel like he was simply holding all of you with little effort. Handling your very being, balancing you at the tip of his fingers. And he knew. Oh, that damn smile told you all you needed to know. He tilted his head, his gaze burning through you, scorching your resolve, and your breath came out a shudder. “You’re infuriating” -ly hot, but you didn’t tell him that, of course. “If it bothers you so much, why didn’t you just ask me out instead?”
Awaiting his answer, your heart did a Olympic-level speedrun that he, no doubt, could feel right beneath his fingertips. Mattheo’s grip on your neck tightened slightly, but he didn't say anything. His mind seemed to weigh the words, form them into a sentence. His hesitation gave you a few seconds to compose yourself, and you managed to give him a sharp glare. “What, no clever remark?” you hissed, “No teasing? Merlin, I could be dancing with Harry right now!”
The words were meant to set him off, and set him off they did. His jaw clenched and his breath came in ragged, heavy motions, chest heaving under the strain of keeping it together. “You’re really trying to piss me off now, aren’t you?” he snarled sharply, eyes still boring into yours in the most disarming way.
You felt your composure slip. Gradually, it evaded your fingertips, notwithstanding the surge of anger you felt as all the doubt, all the hesitation, the waiting and the hurt crashed down on you. “Piss you off?” you asked, furious, and fully aware that your anger and slipping self-control were playing right into his little game of cat and mouse. “I’m pissed off!” you hissed, “You only want me when you think you can’t have me!”
Surprisingly, Mattheo seemed just as wound up as you, as his hand wrapped around your wrist fully and he rolled his jaw. “And you only notice me when i’m slipping through your fingers!”
A short, mocking scoff left your throat as you glowered up at him. “Are you even hearing yourself talk right now?” you seethed, “I think I notice you plenty, especially when you pull me into your lap every other day!”
Mattheo breathed a dark chuckle and shook his head at you. “That’s rich coming from the one who insisted I sleep in one bed with her.”
You stared at him angrily, but a sudden realization clawed at your chest. It was hard to admit its existence when it was an almost painful truth, but it's claws dug into your insides, making it hard to ignore. Maybe, the creature whispered into your ear, maybe you are just as bad as him. Maybe, just maybe, you could have asked him instead. maybe, just maybe, you get it. Maybe you would feel like shit too if he had come with another girl.
His lips hovered over yours and you swallowed, looking up into the dark pools of his eyes. "Say you don’t feel it,” he said, an eerie calm laced into his tone, “Say you don’t want me and I’ll leave right now.” He had rid himself of the smirks and chuckles as if of a false costume, raw intensity brimming in his gaze as it flickered down to your lips and your breath hitched audibly.
“Mattheo-”
“There you are! I- oh.”
Both you and Mattheo whipped around at the sound of a voice- Harry’s voice, to be more exact. He was standing in the open doors leading out to the balcony, the two drinks in hand. The flush on his cheeks was only pronounced by the soft glow of the Great Hall. As soon as he gauged the situation - you and Mattheo standing so close to each other a niffler wouldn’t have fitted between you, and Mattheo holding your wrist and neck - his brows pulled into a frown. One that Mattheo matched, eyes narrowing at the intrusion, while your eyes widened, a mix of disappointment and bashfulness coiling in your stomach.
Harry turned to you, eyes flickering over to Mattheo every other millisecond like he couldn’t stop himself. “...Did I, uh- interrupt something?”
“Yes,” sneered Mattheo through gritted teeth. You, on the other hand, quickly broke free from his grasp and smoothed out your dress, your cheeks heating up with embarrassment over being caught in such a compromising position. “No,” you replied quickly, not looking at Mattheo.
Harry seemed to misinterpret your nervous squirming, glancing cautiously from you to Mattheo and back again. “Everything alright?" he asked in an undertone that could mean nothing good- one that you had heard so many times, when people asked you, apprehensively, about your friendship with Mattheo, making no effort to conceal der skepticism.
Mattheo next to you rolled his eyes and gave an impatient click of his tongue. “Relax, Potter, she’s a big girl.”
Harry’s gaze settled on you. “Is he bothering you?” he asked sharply, and you could have rolled your eyes. Harry was no stranger to your mutual affection with Mattheo, had sneered over it many times. This comment was only meant to provoke, but he concealed it with protectiveness, which made you give him a warning look.
Mattheo hummed a low laugh, but the sound had an edge to it that made Harry tense up. “Didn’t realize you were her guard dog, Potter,” Mattheo taunted him from where he was still leaning against the railing, “Should I throw you a bone?”
Before things could escalate between the two, you stepped between them, shooting Mattheo a pleading look over your shoulder. “Go, please.” For a second, something vulnerable, almost like hurt, flashed across his face, but it was quickly replaced with a mocking smile and a predatpory glint in his eyes.
When he reached out, Harry shifted, almost like he wanted to step in, and Mattheo raised an amused brow at him before taking your hand and guiding it to his lips. His lips barely grazed the back of your hand and one could only assume Theo had taught him that this was the proper way- you didn’t know where else he would have learned it but in eighteenth century courtesy books. With one last dangerously gleaming look at you, he shoved past Harry and disappeared somewhere behind the group of giggling Ravenclaw girls.
You flinched slightly when Harry nudged you and looked up at him. “You okay?” he asked, handing you your drink. With a curt nod, you took it and took a long sip that did nothing to clear your head.
“Yeah,” you said, swirling the drink absentmindedly, “Just needed some fresh air.”
“...Right. Hey, look,” Harry said, seeming a little awkward. “Do you want to dance? You seemed a little bummed earlier and…” He trailed off, awaiting your answer.
Quirking a quick smile, you nodded at him. Inside, the band strung up a new tune, quicker. “Sure. After you.”
Mattheo had had enough. As Harry pulled you back into the dancefloor, having finally overcome his sober reluctance, he distinctly felt that if he had to spend another second watching you with him, he would break something. He probably would have. Would have marched right up to Potter and smashed his face into the fucking wall for laying a hand on you, even if it was a platonic one. But the gnawing feeling of guilt stopped him from doing so.
Mattheo had never had much of a conscience worth speaking of- at leat not in his opinion. The avoidance of overly atrocious deeds had never come from within, but as influenced by the need to survive in a rigid social system. Not until he met you had he known such adoration that he would place your needs over his any day. What you deserved was more important than his bloody daydreams. And what you deserved was a fun night- with or without him.
Not that he had been the first to lay a gentler hand on you. He had never known such patience and compassion until he earned your friendship. Such unconditional care that it made you sneak down to the Slytherin dorms in the dead of night to patch him up after a fight because you knew he didn’t take care of himself properly, that he would let the wounds get scabby and turn into scars because he made his body pay for the weight his shoulders had to carry.
He’d relish your touch like a devil, latching onto any small slice of heaven he could find. He found it in your voice, the way you said his name, sometimes amused, sometimes worried, sometimes angry in a way that made him want to drop to his knees and devour you until you were a screaming mess. He found it in your touch, so gentle and never flinching away, and your eyes, the tenderness they held and the fire that burned in them. A fire he would love to burn in if it pleased you.
Mattheo didn’t even realize he was moving at first, until he bumped into Enzo, who frowned at him. “Where are you going, mate? Party’s just getting started.”
“Air,” he grunted shortly and ignored Enzo calling after him. Students shuffled aside hastily as he made his way through them, towards the entrance hall. What he needed now was you, but you were off being twirled around by Potter, so cigarettes would have to do.
Fucking hell.
His fingers slipped into his inside pocket before he had even crossed the entrance hall, where only a few snogging pairs hung around in darker corners. He slipped through the great front door and skipped several steps as he hurried down the main staircase, stopping at a lower level. Impatient fingers pulled a smoke out of his almost empty pack and he ignited it with a flick of his index finger, taking the long drag he’d been craving.
You watched him go. Saw him slipping out of the great hall, fingers already reaching for his pocket in search of one of his beloved cigarettes. You barely noticed it when the song ended and only gave a half-hearted applause, burning to go after Mattheo but unsure how to do so without coming off as rude.
“Hey,” Harry said, nudging you and pointing at something behind you, “The rest is over there. Do you want to join them?” Turning around, you spotted Hermoine, Ron, Ginny and Dean at one of the tables, laughing together.
“Go ahead,” you smiled, the urge to follow Mattheo growing ever stronger. “I’ll join you in a bit, alright?” He didn't question you, only shrugged and took off towards the table while you turned towards the entrance hall, weaving through bodies and clouds of perfume to get to him.
You found him outside, a few steps down the main staircase, leaning against the stone wall. A glowing little dot stood out to you, one that glowed brighter whenever Mattheo took a drag. Crossing your arms over your chest to provide some level of protection against the cold winter breeze, you slowly walked down the steps, heart beating faster the closer you got to him.
Mattheo looked infuriatingly good, leaning lazily against the stone wall, smoke spilling from his lips, his suit crumpled and tie loosened. A few steps away from him, you hesitated, a certain guilt gnawing at you when you saw his scrunched up brows. Your clash earlier had been all but ideal- albeit very adrenaline-inducing - and right now, you wanted nothing more than to make things right. What was important was not some yule ball, it was your friendship.
Working up the courage, you walked down the last steps. He didn’t look up and you took it as an invitation to lean against the wall next to him, a long sigh leaving your lips and clouding the chilly air shortly.
“Finally ditched the golden boy?” Mattheo asked with a casual smirk on his lips, but his eyes looked distinctly tired. Taking a long drag of his cigarette, he let smoke billow into the air before turning to you.
A nervous little smile flashed over your expression and you angled your body towards him. “Golden boys have never really been my type,” you confessed, smoothing over you dress with shaky hands.
“Yeah?” he asked, eyes sweeping your slightly trembling figure. “And what is your type?”
You took another step towards him, your shoulder brushed against his arm and neither of you moved away. The contact settled like gravity. “Certainly no smokers,” you said breathlessly.
He watched your mouth as you spoke, the corner of his lips curling upward. Taking one last drag out of his smoke, he flicked it to the ground and squashed the embers with his shoe. He shifted his weight, the toe of his shoe bumping against yours like he was testing the distance. “I’ll be finished with this then.” His stance seemed relaxed as he leaned against the wall, but the gaze in his eyes was intense as his eyes bore into yours.
When he raised his hand, it was slow, as if he was approaching a scared animal, careful not to set it off by making a rapid movement. Bringing it up to your face, his knuckles grazed your jaw, a featherlight touch, as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “If I had taken you out tonight, I wouldn’t have let you out of my sight.”
Your breath catched when his knuckles ran a line up your jaw, but you didn’t pull away. Without even realizing, you inched even closer to him, his bodywarmth bleeding trough the thin fabric of your dress. A small smile graced your lips as you tilted your head of him, but the challenge was much softer than before. “Well, I’m glad he did, or we wouldn’t be talking right now.”
The hand that had been leaving a row of goosebumps behind on your neck came up to cup your cheek as his breath fanned your face. You could taste the nicotine on your own tongue as your lips parted slightly, as if on instinct. His fingers trailed over the curve of your wrist, idly tracing circles like he was trying to learn your heartbeat by touch. “He doesn’t deserve you,” he said, voice a low rasp.
A frown pulled at your brows, but you had half a mind to ease it with a smile. “And you do?” you asked, trying to grasp what “deserving” meant to him.
But he didn’t return your smile, more serious than you’d seen him all night as he tilted your chin up. “I’d ruin myself trying.”
His forehead came to rest against yours, as if he needed the grounding touch, and you leaned up into him, reciprocating the gesture. Your brain seemed to be a droning mass of nothing, taking up too much space in your head. He muttered something under his breath, a curse, chest heaving just as much as yours. His lips hovered over yours, the space between you charged, every second stretching into eternity. “Say the word,” he muttered, “and I’ll make sure you never think about him again.”
It was the most natural thing to you as your eyes fluttered shut and your hands fisted his shirt- how had they even got there?
“Please.”
Before you could gauge the impact of that one small word, he crashed his mouth against yours, all teeth and desperation, like he had been starving for this. And you had been, too. It was as if a deep craving was finally fulfilled as you kissed him back, barely managing to keep up with the rough movements of his lips. The afteratste of nicotine settled on your tongue, but you couldn’t bring yourself to mind. His hands gripped your waist, fingers digging in, like he needed to anchor himself or he might lose control. They tugged you closer, impossibly close, as if he wants to erase any space that dares exist between you.
His lips moved with bruising intensity against yours and you sighed against them, making him growl. “M- mattheo,” you whispered in between kisses, his name but a breathless plea making his grip tighten on your waist. “I’ve -fuck- I’ve wanted this for so long.”
He cursed against your lips, fingers gripping fistfuls of your dress as if he meant to tear it off you. “Fuck, sweetheart, don’t say stuff like that-” His hands started to roam, one gripping the back of your neck to tilt your head into his desired angle, the other running down your side and latching onto your thigh.
You squeaked against him when he lifted it to wrap your leg around his waits, slotting his hips into the place between your legs. A sudden mewl left your throat and he swallowed it up as if it was the sweetest nectar. The way your body sank into his went to his head, your trust made his ears rush as his fingers curled into the flesh of your thigh. He wanted to break you, yes- but so much more, he wanted to love you.
“Always wanted this, I’ve always wanted you, sweetheart,” he whispered against you, lips wandering down to latch onto your neck.
“If you wanted to have me,” you said, rendered utterly breathless under his teasing touches and experienced lips, “all you ever had to do was ask.”
He groaned against your mouth, the sound rough and guttural, as if kissing you physically hurt and healed all at once. “Fuck, sweetheart,” Mattheo cursed, his lips crashing back onto yours as your breath hitched. He kissed you like he was angry at you, like every push and pull of your lips was part of some unresolved fight he never wanted to win.
You squealed softly when he bit your lower lip, sharp and fleeting, then soothed the sting with a flick of his tongue. His fingers curled into your hair, tugging just enough to tilt your head, demanding more. His thumb traced your jaw, a fleeting tenderness that contrasted the way he devoured your mouth. He pulled away for a split second, forehead pressed to yours, voice wrecked when he muttered, “You drive me insane.” -before kissing you even harder.
“Why?” you whined in between kisses, hands running over his chest in search for any kind of support. “Why didn’t you ask me? I-” Another kiss of his shut you right up and you kissed him back with ferocity, mumbling in between his ministrations, “I was hoping you would, I wanted you this- h- hah - this whole time.”
“Sorry, sorry,” he mumblked hastily against your lips, his hands slipping into your hair and tugging to angle your head up at him. “Fuck, ‘m really sorry, sweetheart, that you had to resort to that fucking idiot.”
“‘S fine,” you slurred, your brain completely shutting down when the hand on your thigh slipped under your dress and traced a line up your bare skin, “Harry’s a friend and I like him just fine, but-” The way he fisted your dress in his hands and pulled you flush against you had the words die on your tongue as you felt something hard press against your core.
Shit.
“Say his name one more time and I’ll have mine engraved right about here,” he muttered threateningly, his digits drawing circles on your inner thigh and a pathetic whine left your throat, swallowed up by his eager lips. “Fuck, sweetheart,” he murmured, rolling his hips and making your breath hitch, your knees growing wobbly, “I’ll make sure it’s my name you’ll be screaming tonight.”
“Oh God, Mattheo-” you mewled loudly, thankful for the muffliato charm you’d cast on the door of the empty classroom Mattheo had dragged you into, “It hurts!”
But Mattheo seemed to have little regard for your words, his fingers pistoning in and out of your squelshing cunt as he chuckled against your lips. He had you perched ontop of one of the desks, fingers knuckle deep in your pussy and his lips painting your neck like a canvas. Trembling helplessly in his hold, your second orgasm washed over you like a tidal wave as the overstimulation became almost unbearable and you squeezed your eyes shut.
“Oh, does it?” he mocked, false pity laced into his tone as he bit down hard on your neck, making you squeal. His thumb drew circles on your clit and your thighs shook, your hand spushing weakly at his chest. White hot pleasure shot through you, making your cunt clench painfully around his fingers. And there he was, smiling down on you as you completely unraveled in his hold, as your eyes rolled back into your head and your body slumped against his, whimpers of his name falling from your kiss-bitten lips. Yeah, this was how he had imagined the night to go.
“P- please,” you whimpered, fisting his shirt as you squirmed to escape his unrelenting fingers- and finally, finally he had mercy on you, swiping one last finger over your overstimulated clit and pulling you flush against him as his fingers, covered in your slit, brushed over your bruised lips.
“C'mon, sweetheart,” he smirked evilly, “Don’t tell me you’re tired yet?”
A shake of your head was enough for him as he flipped you around onto your belly, bending you over the desk. You could hear a metallic clinking sound and rocked your hips back against him, anticipation curling in your stomach. You’d heard- often to your own dismay - the stories of the girls he’d been with, envying them as you listened to their colorful tales- but now you were on the receiving end of his touches, his kisses, his cock that slapped against your folds in a way that made you jolt against the hard wood of the desk.
“Mattheo,” you breathed, unsure whether it was a plead or a demand. Whatever it was, he seemed all to eager to comply, his hands tightening on your waist. His cockhead was first, slowly pushing through your folds. With a gutteral groan, he slumped against you, fingers digging into your hips so hard you were sure they would leave bruises.
“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re tight,” he cursed, overcome by the overwhelming urge to rut into you like some animal, to take you raw, make you his completely until you writhed and screamed under him. But he knew he had to take it slower with you- despite all the teasing, you were his precious princess, his best friend, the only one who'd ever loved him unconditionally. And dear god was he going to pay you back.
“Doing real good,” he murmured huskily as you twitched beneath him, hips wiggling as you tried to adjust to his size in a way that didn’t help his restraint in the slightest. You yelped when he delivered a sudden slap to your ass, immediately soothing it over by rubbing gentle circles over it. “Stop squirming, sweetheart,” he growled, leaning over you as he pushed further in, relishing very inch. “Or I might just lose myself.”
“S- sorry,” you apologized so sweetly he could have devoured you then and there. But for once, he could be a man of patience. “A- are you fully in yet?” you asked shyly, looking up at him over your shoulder.
A strained sounding chuckle fell from his lips. “Not even halfway in. Want me to stop?” You shook your head rapidly, though his girth provided your walls with a painful sting. Instead, your fingers curled around the edge of your desk as you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to relax. “You're doing so good, sweetheart,” he groaned huskily against your ear as he leaned over you, slowly sliding another inch in. “Taking me so well.”
A breathless little mewl left your throat and he laughed under his breath, trying to keep his restrain from snapping with the way your warm walls hugged him, drew him in. “Relax f’ me, will you?” he asked, more softly, pressing kisses along your shoulder and onto your earlobe. “Breathe through it, that’s right,” he praised as you tried to relax your muscles around his cock and took slow, though trembling, breaths.
When he finally bottomed out, a gasp for air left your throat and he nearly whined at the feeling of your tight walls clenching around him. Fuck, like you were made for him. Mattheo started moving, slowly, sensually, as his lips whispered praises and confessions into your ear, only half of which you actually registered as your brain grew impossibly fuzzier.
When you breathed a shallow moan, the sting slowly turning pleasurable, his lips latched onto your neck, sucking hard. “Yer trying to kill me, aren’t you?” he asked, slowly rocking his hips against yours. “Feel so good, sweetheart, like you were made f’me.”
You moaned helplessly under him as he kept on talking, meeting his hips and moving yours in the same rhythm. “Always wanted this,” he murmured against your shoulder, his movements steadily growing more intense. He pulled out fully and sunk back in again, making both of you release strangled moans as your hands desperately tried to support yourself against the desk.
“Could barely hold myself back sometimes,” he rasped into your ear as you could feel the pleasure building in your core, his words not helping the mist in your mind. “Dreamed of it, y’know?” When he pulled out tis time, he plunged his cock back in harshly, baking you choke on the moans spilling from your lips. “I knew it was wrong that I rutted into my own fist, thinking about having you exactly like this. Fuck, it was wrong, knew you were way too good for me, but look at you now…”
His hips grew more feverish as they slammed into yours, pleasure and pain coiling in your lower belly as you mewled his name and you could feel him twitch inside you. a string of curses left his lips, and his fingers tug into your waist to ram your hips against his, matching his speed. “Hated seeing you with Potter tonight,” he spat, “Hated seeing his hands on you- god, you have no idea what i would’ve done to him if you hadn’t been there.”
A low growl of a chuckle left his throat and you shivered at the sound, pushing your hips back into his in desperate need for relief. His words had heat pool down, had your walls clench, and he let out a string of curses in return. “Tell me, sweetheart,” he panted, ruthlessly rocking your hips back into his, “Would you let him see you like this? How ‘bout I stuff you so full with cum he can see it run down your thighs tomorrow, how’d you like that? What if he were here right now, huh? Bet he’d love this, wouldn’t he? Bet he’d try to get himself off to the sight of what he can’t have.”
When your thighs started shaking and his name left your lips in a mindless string of moans, he straight up flipped you over, plunging his cock back into you before you could even realize what was happening. You yelped when he threw your legs over his shoulders and your eyes rolled back into your skull as his cock hit spots you hadn’t even known existed. Desperate for some kind of support, you grabbed his shoulders with shaky fingers as you completely unraveled under him- and he drank it in.
Your moans were like music to his ears, touching you was a special kind of heaven. And when your face scrunched up and your thighs shook, when your high hit you like a truck, in spite of his roughness, he interlaced your fingers with his, pinning them above your head and chasing his own high as you fell apart on his cock. “Good fucking girl,” he growled against your ear as you spasmed in his hold.
When the white-hot pleasure suring through you slowly stopped obstructing your field of vision, as you felt yourself come down from your high, you could hear his raw grunts and curses next to your ear as he chased his own high. As he felt his own release approaching, Mattheo pulled out and emptied himself all over your stomach. He stood above you, panting and watching it drip down the round of your belly, marking you as his.
Mabe he’d said that out loud, because you giggled with post-orgasmic bliss. “You’re such a dog, Mattheo!” With a smirk, he slipped your thighs off his shoulders, seeming entirely self-satisfied as he leaned down to press another, more tender kiss onto your lips.
When he parted from you, his eyes held a certain softness that was reserved for moments of quiet comfort between you two, when you’d sit in his bed, hold him in your lap and let him rant about it all- his father, his legacy, this school, the world. But it was all so far away from here. From this classroom, where he held you, where he looked at you as if he’d never seen something so precious, so worth protecting.
Dipping down, he started nibbling on your neck contently, no doubt adding more obvious signs of wreckage than he had already. But you couldn’t think about the consequences, about the stares you’d get tomorrow, no matter how much makeup you slapped onto your neck. Because his voice was rumbling low, next to your ear, as his nose nudged yours. “Wanna be my girlfriend, sweetheart?” And you nodded rapidly, barely able to control the grin tugging at your lips.
Completely out of breath, you slumped against him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. His smell was so utterly comforting, the feeling of his chest rising and falling against yours as he, too, slowly recovered from his high. The exhaustion weigh heavy on your bones as you looked up into his brown eyes, reflecting the moonlight that spilled through the window. “Seeing as my ability to walk is probably impaired- will you carry me down to your dorm or do I have to ask Harry?”
The way Mattheo’s eyes glinted dangerously at the words was a promise that the night was far from over.
this is literally peak best friends to lovers 💋😭🫶 im so obsessed ✨🫶 like…
For one second of a lifetime, he was the sun you revolved around like a planet, forever stuck in its endless circles, cursed to reach out for him forever and never get to burn under his raw touch.
this is poetry 😩🤌✨
“Don’t lie, sweetheart, you think I don’t know how hot you find me all bloody?”
i’m blushing bc yes of course i think that 😭
The light chuckle resonating behind you was so damn cocky and confident as if the world would bend under the weight of his fingertips, of his very voice- and didn’t he have all the reason to?
again POETRY 👏🫶✨
“Why is your heart beating like it’s got something to tell me?”
• 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋
Maybe, the creature whispered into your ear, maybe you are just as bad as him. Maybe, just maybe, you could have asked him instead. maybe, just maybe, you get it. Maybe you would feel like shit too if he had come with another girl.
my feelings have feelings 😭🫶
“There you are! I- oh.”
dammit harry not now!! the duality of wanting to facepalm and cry bc harry cannot for the life of him read a room 😭😂😭
Mattheo next to you rolled his eyes and gave an impatient click of his tongue. “Relax, Potter, she’s a big girl.”
he talks and i just swoon 😭🫶
“Certainly no smokers,” you said breathlessly.
he proceeds to IMMEDIATELY put it out 😩🤌🔥
“I’d ruin myself trying.”
THIS MAN IS PERFECT 😭💋
“Say his name one more time and I’ll have mine engraved right about here,” he muttered threateningly, his digits drawing circles on your inner thigh and a pathetic whine left your throat, swallowed up by his eager lips.
👄 🔥💋
“Wanna be my girlfriend, sweetheart?”
*squeals indefinitely*
“Seeing as my ability to walk is probably impaired- will you carry me down to your dorm or do I have to ask Harry?”
-> not only is mattheo too late to ask you out to the yule ball, you're going with harry potter of all people. now, his best friend is going to the ball with his nemesis and he has some feelings about it.
-> mattheo riddle x bsf! reader; part a; sfw; wc: 13k; cw: suggestive, mentions of violence; tags: friends to lovers, yule ball setup; again I wasn't able to tag everyone, sorry :(
( masterlist )
There were many who would call Mattheo Riddle crazy. A bloodthirsty maniac, who couldn’t be bothered to feel attachment, or fear, or any normal human emotion for that matter. A psychopath who would snap on a whim and held an iron grip on the school when he wanted to.
But you had never been able to see him the way other people did, never could relate the picture the whispers and rumors painted to the man who was currently breathing down your neck. His nose ran down your skin and you could feel his boredom on your fingertips as he leaned his forehead against the back of your neck. His knee rocked unsteadily under you, making the thigh you had slung over his bounce up and down almost indiscernibly in return.
“Have you heard that Susan Bones is going with one of our house?” asked Pansy through the chatter surrounding you, widening her eyes dramatically. “Susan Bones. And a Slytherin. Merlin, I didn’t think I’d see the day, they must have the same freaky kinks or something to make that match work.”
Blaise’s laughter echoed off the stone walls of the dungeons. The Slytherin common room was painted in its usual emerald glow. It flickered across the tapestry showing scenes of a medieval wedding tonight. Only after spending more time with Pansy and the boys in your fifth year, and after weeks of hanging around with them in their common room, had you noticed that the tapestry kept changing its motif and scenery. Low chatter and conversation filled the space as groups of students were huddled around couches or desks, studying or talking, some of them reading by themselves. It wasn’t as busy as your common room, nor was it as loud, and you quite enjoyed the calmer atmosphere.
You sat comfortably on Mattheo’s lap, his arm draped lazily around your waist, fingers absentmindedly tracing circles on the fabric of your uniform skirt. It wasn’t unusual- your friendship with you-know-who’s son was quite affectionate, filled with easy touches and stolen warmth, a silent understanding of physical proximity neither of you ever questioned. But tonight, something felt different. His grip was a little tighter, his body a little tenser beneath yours, his usual sharp, sarcastic remarks replaced with a brooding silence as the others discussed the upcoming Yule Ball.
“I think I’d say yes to Diggory, if he asked,” Pansy mused, twirling a strand of dark hair between her fingers and quirking an evil little smirk at Blaise’s frown. “He’s got that whole golden-boy thing going on.”
Mattheo scoffed under his breath and you felt the brush of puffed-out air tingling the skin of your neck, his hand tightening slightly on your hip. “Golden-boy thing is just another way of saying boring.” His tone was clipped, disinterested, but you could still feel the way his legs bounced slightly beneath you, a tell-tale sign of his agitation. He’d been in a foul mood all day, propelling anyone near him or passing him in the corridors into a constant state of nervousness and vigilance.
As you thought back, you guessed his bad mood must have started back when Professor McGonnagall had announced the ball, halfway into december, and you felt your lips twitch at the thought that Mattheo Riddle might shy away from a dance. You shifted slightly in his lap, turning to look at him with a raised brow. “What’s got your robes in a twist?” you teased brazenly, delivering a playful nudge to his shoulder.
But instead of smirking back at you like he usually would, he simply huffed, gaze flickering away. “I just don’t see why any of you care so much,” he muttered. “It’s just a bloody dance.”
“And you call me a spoilsport,” huffed Theo next to the two of you, balancing a book in his lap. His eyes met yours and his lips curled into a mocking smile as they flickered back to Mattheo. Theo and you were probably his best friends- as well as the only ones who would ever tell him off for something. For good reason. Because the two of you were also, with high probability, the only ones Mattheo would never seriously hurt.
“Shut it, Nott,” mumbled Mattheo warningly and Theo shrugged, turning a page in his book.
Your body was still turned to Mattheo when Draco’s drawling voice spoke up. He was lounging in the best seat by the fire with an air of superiority. “I don’t know about you all,” he said uppishly, “But I already have a date for the Ball.”
“Really?” Pansy asked in surprise and shot up from where she was leaning against Blaise. Her eyes glinted at the prospect of being the first one to receive the newest gossip. Half the reason she was so excited for the Yule Ball had to be watching all the drama unfold. Having a front-row seat and sipping her red wine when the screaming matches and tearful breakups would start.
“Who are you going with?” asked Enzo, interested, from his place at the far end of the couch. He himself had already gotten three invitations to the Ball that day, all from very flustered looking, younger girls, and had to decline all of them with an apologetic smile, later complaining about it to his friends. And of course, you had all diligently listened to his woes before smacking him over the head with a pillow for being such a damn loverboy. And watching him shuffle his curls back into place.
“Daphne,” revealed Draco in a superior tone, watching his nails in feigned disinterest.
But Pansy sucked a loud breath in through her lips and gripped Blaises thigh so hard he let out a low noise of complaint. She ignored him, a predatory smile on his face. “Did you ask her or did she ask you?”
“Does that matter?” scoffed Draco lazily, but there was a very faint tint of pink on his pale cheeks. His displeased frown flickered over Pansy, Enzo, Blaise and you as you all started laughing. Mumbling something indiscernible, he pretended to be interested in the tapestry above, making Pansy bend forward with giggles.
“What about you, Pans?” you asked when she had calmed down and slumped back into Blaise, your eyes wandering back and forth between them. “Do you already know who you’re going with?”
With a secretive smile, Pansy shrugged but splayed a thigh over Blaise’s leg. Her manicured nails traced a line up his knee as she winked at you. “Who knows?” Her eyes flickered between you and the disgruntled looking Mattheo currently resting his chin on your shoulder and glaring into the emerald fire. “What about you?”
At the question, Mattheo’s hold on your waist stiffened. His fingers, that had been drawing lazy circles on your hip, suddenly stilled, pressing just a fraction harder into the fabric of your skirt. On your shoulder, you felt his jaw tense, a muscle ticking as he shifted slightly beneath you, his leg bouncing once more before he forced it to stop. Though he kept his gaze trained on the fire, his grip on you didn’t falter.
Normally, he held you like this when he had to somehow ground himself, threatening to lose himself in a whirlwind of anger and stress, moments before either jumping another student or being dragged off by you or Theo. But there was no one here that might have attracted his hate, and your brows scrunched up in a frown he couldn’t see. Anyone else might’ve missed the way his fingers flexed or how his breath grew just slightly uneven, but you felt it- every small, quiet reaction that betrayed his indifference.
Something about this Ball seemed to agitate him, and you placed a warm hand on his thigh to draw careful circles on it, in the hopes of appeasing whatever it was that fueled his bitter temperament.
“No plans,” you answered, as casually as possible. In truth, you had been hoping for Mattheo to ask you ever since the announcement. You had had a giant crush on him for months now, one that you sometimes thought he reciprocated, when his touch would grow a little to intimate, his face inch a little too close, his dark promises a little too sincere to be considered platonic. This was the downside to your rather touchy friendship, the fact that there was no clear line to cross, that you could never be sure.
Holding onto hope, you’d declined Harry’s invitation a few days before, still dreaming that he could feel the same about you, as Pansy constantly assured you. But if he didn’t ask you today… Glancing back at him carefully, you only caught half his face in your field of vision, but it showed no emotion. It was still hardened with the earlier tension, not a muscle twitching, not even a small look back at you.
Enzo leaned forwards slightly, propping his arms up on his knees and giving you a sly grin. “I heard Pucey’s thinking about asking you,” he insinuated, brows wiggling suggestively.
Before you could answer, Mattheo’s voices sounded against your neck, his chin still propped up on your shoulder. “Pucey can go fuck himself.” It was a low, dangerous sound and the group fell silent for a few seconds.
Something like excitement curled into your stomach, until you realized with a pang of disappointment that Mattheo’s disapproval of Pucey reached far deeper than some Ball. He was always raving and raging about him when he returned from his Quidditch practices, and made you card your hands through his curls until he considered himself appeased. Naturally, he wouldn’t want one of his best friends going out with his least favorite housemate. Naturally. Platonically. Disappointingly.
Pansy was the first one to speak again, the grin had found its way back onto her face as she turned to you once more. “So, that’s the verdict then, love? No secret admirers to swipe you away to the night of your life?”
She jiggled her brows suggestively, biting down on her bottom lip in a not so subtle way that made you chuckle and shake your head at her. Raising your hands in mock surrender, you leaned back into Mattheo whose chest seemed to be rising and falling a bit faster as he glared at Pansy. “No secret admirers that I know of.”
A low scoff sounded behind you, as Mattheo seemed much more eager to join the conversation than during the last half hour. “They wouldn’t be very secret if they knew what was good for them.”
Merlin, sometimes you wished he would talk more like your friend and less like… well, whatever this was. But his brows were furrowed so beautifully you could barely think about the implications of his words, or the way Pansy shrunk back instinctively at the look he was giving her, fingers curling around your thigh. Otherwise, you’d surely have scolded him for scowling at her like that.
Blaise hummed, rubbing circles on Pansy’s back and giving you a sly look. “You should go with someone … unexpected,” he suggested, mocking a thoughtful tone and expression, “Shake things up, y’know? Maybe you could release Enzo from his misery. Gryffindor Miss perfect with a Slytherin pureblood, story writes itself, doesn’t it?” You could hear his voice was meant to provoke, just who you weren’t sure. Because you merely laughed at the clearly unserious idea.
But over the amused look you shared with Pansy, you missed the way Enzo widened panicked eyes at Blaise as if he’d just thrown him under the bus, as well as the way Mattheo pulled you depper into his lap. You followed the urge subconsciously and leaned your head against his, still grinning. “Someone shocking, you say?” you picked up his statement, careful not to be too obvious, “Like who? Apart from poor Enzo, I mean.”
“Not fucking Pucey, that’s for sure,” said Mattheo under his breath and you bit down on your tongue, swallowing your disappointment. Pansy threw you a knowing look that you pretended not to see. You were being absolutely ridiculous.
A long, dramatically exasperated sigh came from the armchair near the fire were Draco was still sprawled out, toying with a loose strand of the leather cushions. “You could always go with Mattheo,” he suggested what you hadn’t had the guts to- quite ironic though it was; and ran his eyes over your intertwined figures. “Since you two can’t seem to spend five minutes apart anyway.”
In an attempt to overplay your flusteredness that he had brought it up, just said it out loud, while you were seated in Mattheo’s lap no less and one of his hands dipped under your shirt to bury itself in the meat of your tummy, you chuckled and scratched the back of your neck. Craning your head around, you smiled humorously at your friend. “What, and boost his ego even more?”
For the first time in a while, an actual grin finally played around his lips again as he kneaded the flesh of your belly, throwing you a challenging look. “You love my ego.”
Because one couldn’t simply lie to Mattheo without him knowing, you turned away with a laugh instead of answering his question. Joining in, Pansy watched the outline of Mattheo’s fingers against your shirt and smirked. Her glance back up at him was a silent promise not to let the topic go so easily, and he rolled his eyes at her behind your back.
“You do have standards, right?” asked Blaise lazily, passing around a bar of dark chocolate and shuffling around on the sofa to put his head in Pansy’s lap, who raised her brow but didn’t throw him off. Instead, she returned her attention to you.
“You should definitely go with someone who can actually dance,” she said, smirking.
You nudged Mattheo in the side, not catching the look in his eyes as they snapped up to your bright face. “So, not Mattheo then?”
Suddenly, his body seemed on alert again, no longer leaning against the cushions as his lips seemed to hover somewhere near your ear. If it was any indication, his breath fanned your earlobe and you had to suppress a shiver as his voice sounded low, next to your ear. “You don’t even know what I can do, sweetheart.”
Ah. Sweetheart. Damn the way your insides were curling with the way the nickname rolled off his tongue so smoothly. Mattheo had tried out many of those before settling on sweetheart, for some reason. You had loved every single one, from doll to darling to princess, but for some reason, Mattheo had decided that sweetheart was around to stay. So, now you were his sweetheart. In any sense but the literal one.
“Well,” said Enzo, carefully examining Mattheo, as if gauging if he was in a mood to be reasoned with. Not that he had to worry, Enzo was probably the fastest runner out of your friend group, always the least likely to get in trouble for a brawl or altercation because he was the first who disappeared from the scene of the crime, even before the teachers showed up, keeping him his prefect’s badge. “I heard something through the grapevine the other day-”
You believed to know what was coming now and your eyes widened as you shook your head at him. But Pansy leaned forwards eagerly, ignoring Blaise’s protests. “Go on!”
“Ah,” said Enzo, clearly deriving some sort of pleasure from having everyone hang onto his every word. “You see, some little birdie told me you had been asked out by Potter.”
Closing your eyes, you let the round of jeers and whistles that swept the others wash over you and buried your face in your hands, burning with embarrassment. When you looked up again, you met the eyes of five attentive listeners, eager to hear your side of the story. Even Theo had marked his page with an index finger and raised a brow at you expectantly. Only Mattheo was eerily still beneath you, his fingers having halted all movement.
“How do you get all this information?” you asked Enzo incredulously, rubbing the back of your neck again and trying to deflect from the fact he had just dropped- knowing nothing would fulfill your friends’ curiosity but your explanation.
“I have my sources,” said Enzo secretively and tapped his fingers against each other, watching you over them. “And it seems like they’re reliable.”
“You’re not- you know- going with him?” asked Pansy in an almost disgusted voice and you frowned at her. “I declined. But even if I didn’t, what would be wrong with that? He’s my friend after all.”
Your friends fell silent, probably swallowing down a round of insult they would gladly chat about once you were gone. Thinking of which, your eyes snapped to the clock above the fireplace and you jolted a bit when you saw the time. Before Pansy could open her mouth to ask you another question, you interrupted her. “Alright, this has been fun, but I’m leaving before this conversation gets worse- or before Filch starts patrolling the corridors.”
As you shifted to get up from his lap, Mattheo’s arm around your waist tightened instinctively, his fingers pressing into your side just enough to make you hesitate. You pushed against his chest lightly, but he didn’t budge, his grip lazy yet firm- like he wasn’t quite ready to let you go. Or, perhaps, punishing you, for being asked out by Harry.
“Mattheo,” you murmured, half amused, half embarrassed because all your friends were watching with teasing eyes and matching grins.
But he only smirked, his dark eyes flickering up to yours with a glint of something unreadable. “What?” he drawled, feigning innocence even as his hold on you lingered, burning against your skin. It took another small shove- this time with a bit more force behind it- for him to finally release you, his hands dragging down your sides as you slipped free, leaving behind a warmth that made your skin tingle even long after you stood.
“Yeah,” said Theo slowly, tapping his fingers against the back of his book as his eyes lingered on Mattheo, who was now looking at you in a way that made it quite difficult for you to move your feet in the right direction- and steadily at that. “You better go before Mattheo combusts.”
Mattheo rolled his eyes at Theo, though his gaze was still firmly locked on you. “Yeah, wouldn’t want to ruin the fun.”
With a light-hearted giggle, you pushed past the sofas and armchairs and waved them goodbye, earning a round of “Good night”s and “Have fun with the lions” in return. As your figure disappeared in the common room entrance, Mattheo's eyes lingered on the wall sealing itself again, as if you were still standing there.
“Well, that was painful,” commented Theo, leaning back against the cushions and glancing over at his best mate. “Watching you struggling not to show how much you care who she goes with.”
“I don’t,” the other lied, knowing it was in vain when he saw the devilish smirk spread on Pansy’s face. “You know, for someone who doesn’t care,” she emphasized the last words sarcastically, “you sure grabbed her like she was yours.”
You were. Feeling annoyed at the lot of them and knowing he would be subjected to a great deal of teasing until Theo’s desire for a smoke reached the level of his, Mattheo leaned back against the couch and rolled his eyes, trying not to focus his mind on the memory of you flush against him- right where he liked you best. “She was already sitting there. What, you wanted me to throw her off?,” he snarled back, glaring at one of the portraits to avoid Pansy’s raised brows. When it came to affairs of romance, she was surprisingly sharp. No wonder she seemed to know how much he fucking adored you.
Next to him, Theo coughed a false, ironic cough and Mattheo knew he couldn’t expect any support from that side either. “Mate, your hand was on her hip like you were staking a claim,” Theo drawled, giving him a smug look that Mattheo returned, unimpressed. “You want me to put my hand on your hip instead?”
“Dios mio, no,” replied Theo under his breath, reopening his book but still actively listening to the conversation unfolding.
Again, it was Pansy who broke the silence with a daring grin, crooking her head at Mattheo. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re mad she hasn’t asked you to the ball yet.”
“You know,” Enzo piqued up now, smiling casually in the knowledge that he was on the winning side in this. “If you asked her nicely, maybe she’d go out with you.”
Leaning forwards, Mattheo gave him a sardonic smile, sneering, “Oh right.” His tone was mocking, exaggerated. “‘Please, love of my life, light of my existence, will you attend the stupidest event of the year with me?'” He did his best to sound nonchalant, as if the mere idea of asking you out on a date was absurd and not the subject of his more innocent daydreams.
But irony could only do so much to conceal how much he really meant the words, how they opened the door to a path to his deepest, darkest desires that he would rather not open right now. No, he preferred to visit those darker corridors of his sacreligious existence when he was alone, in his dorm, shame and excitement curling in his chest as he imagined you how he could never have you. Where nobody could see just how much you meant to him.
Draco let out a scoff from his place by the fire and everyone turned towards him instead. “Imagine if she said yes to Potter,” he said, expression morphing into one of disgust. “Imagine them slow dancing.” Mattheo, who knew exactly what purpose hid behind those carefully chosen words, couldn’t help but tightening his jaw at the idea, the image. If he hadn’t hated Potter enough already, the idea itself would have done it.
“Imagine me hexing you into next week,” he growled at Malfoym who fell silent immediately, but earned himself an appraising nod from Pansy.
“What if she actually did go with Potter though?” Blaise pried further, smirking up at him from where his head rested in Pansy’s lap.
Mattheo felt his patience undeniably tested, fingers flexing against his tense legs as one of them started to bounce restlessly. Merlin, how he could have smashed Blaise’s stupid, grinning face into this stupid, grinning portrait to make them both stop mocking him. But that would prove all of them right, and maybe he didn’t even want to admit to himself how much the image bothered him, how much it made him want to storm up to Gryffindor tower to eliminate the threat himself. “Then Hogwarts would need a new chosen one,” he gruffed out, voice low as his fingers itched for a cigarette.
The topic of you and your friendship had been one of great interest these past few months, ever since it had become normal for you to rest on each other's lap, run your fingers through each other's hair or sleep over in each other’s dorm. It had raised more than a few eyebrows, but Mattheo had always smirked them away, relishing in showing you off. This loose but ever-present claim he had on you, that made him feel perfectly entitled to stare down any boy you crossed when walking through the halls with him, it had been enough for him.
Up until now, it seemed. When they had gotten brazen enough to think that they could dare ask out his girl. Only that you weren’t, he had to remind himself. No matter how often he touched you, it wouldn’t make you his, properly, until he worked up the courage to ask you. But there was just one problem: himself. And the danger he put you in by making you something more than a friend.
“What makes you think I even want to go out with her?” he asked roughly, brows scrunched up in a bitter frown and aching for something to soothe his nerves. You would have been ideal, but alas, you were gone and he needed another, a lesser fix. When he glanced up, he was met with four pairs of raised brows, as his friends all stared at him incredulously.
“Mate,” said Enzo in a voice that suggested he was trying to reason with him. “You just had her in your lap. You glare at any guy who even looks at her. You beat up Zacharias Smith when he stood her up so bad he had to spend the holiday in St. Mungos, and the only reason you weren’t charged with something was because you literally threatened to kill him if he spoke to someone about it.”
Mattheo glowered at the ground, conflicting emotions clawing at his chest, desperate for release. He felt it again. The whirlwind of his own self, all-consuming, unstoppable, but by the your touch, the sound of your voice. When he felt like he was hovering with one foot over the abyss, threatening to be swept up by the confusing storm raging against the confines of his body, you were the only one able to reach him, reach out to him, calm his whirling thoughts, his flaring temper.
No wonder Enzo always ran for you whenever it looked like he was about to start a fight. He knew how utterly disarmed he was when you looked at him with those pretty wide eyes of yours. How your worry extinguished any and all rage inside him, making something else entirely pulse in his chest.
“Can’t I be a good friend?” he asked, sarcastically. But he knew the charade wasn’t fooling anyone anymore. Hell, it was not even fooling himself.
Pansy’s voice sounded surprisingly genuine, the teasing, though still present, taking a backseat to a hesitant reaching out. “Well, I think she would like you better as her boyfriend.”
Not wanting to even acknowledge the sincerity of the words, allow himself to think of the real possibility, get his damn hopes up only to get them squashed down again, he sniggered mockingly at her, a contemptuous smile dancing around his lips. Detached. “Well, I think she would have given some sort of indicator or signal if she felt that way.”
A stunned silence followed as all of them, even Theo, seemed completely taken aback. Pansy and Blaise shared an is he actually being serious right now sort of look and Enzo blinked, perplexedly, at his friend. All of them, completely stupefied with the blatant ignorance of the both of you. They had taken you to be oblivious because of some vague romantic insecurity, but Mattheo could usually be trusted to be quite observant, especially when it came down to you. His friends tended to tease him for being so much of a guard dog, having developed some kind of sixth sense for boys looking at you with greedy eyes and how he would press a quick goodbye kiss to your temple before excusing himself to go and sort them out.
But here he was, being so utterly oblivious to the way you clearly reciprocated his affections- how you would barely manage to conceal your blushing, how your eyes would linger on him, how you would stare at him lovingly when lost in thought, how he would always be your very first priority, how you would drop everything you were doing to come help him, even if it was about something some would consider utterly meaningless.
But alas, his ignorance seemed to match yours, and they had to sit and watch, growing ever more frustrated with the way you pined and yearned for each other without ever getting a fucking move on.
Theo was the first to break the silence, brow raised at Mattheo who still stubbornly glared at te ground. “So, what’s the plan? Keep glaring at every guy who looks at her until she magically realizes you’re in love with her?”
He had dropped the magic word. the l-word, that would never make it past Mattheo’s lips and could barely enter his thoughts, as if it was a trigger. Any time he heard it, he cringed involuntarily. But he was too tired of this day and this damn converssation to correct him. “Worked out so far,” he shrugged.
Theo rolled his eyes at him, and from the way his fingers twitched agitatedly against the bookcase, Mattheo knew he was just as eager for a smoke as him, meaning he would provide him with a way out of this fucking therapy session in under five minutes. The guy was just as addicted to nicotine as he was. “And how would you feel about it if someone asks her out tomorrow who she wouldn't be so quick to decline. How would you feel about it when she turns up to the ball with someone other than you?”
Nothing, was what he meant to say. But the words didn’t make it past his lips. They were chocked by the image of you, hanging onto another guy’s arm, laughing for another guy, dancing with another guy. Something dangerous coiled in his stomach, like a snake, ready to attack but with no one to sink its teeth into but himself.
“Fucking hell,” he cursed darkly, his fists clenched so hard his knuckles were plain white, close to cracking, or so it seemed to him.
Theo nodded appreciatively, rising from his seat as Mattheo followed, running a calloused and shaky hand over his face. “You know what to do then.”
When you pushed open the portrait of the Fat Lady, you were greeted with a warmth both the Slytherin common room and the halls of Hogwarts had been missing. Loud chattering and laughter filled the room, the figures of many Gryffindor students in the golden hue of the cackling fireplaces. Where Slytherin’s common room was undeniably more stylish and sophisticated, your common room was just cozy.
You spotted your friends sitting by the fire, having snatched the best sofa for themselves. Hermoine seemed to be working on an essay, Ginny’s nose was buried in her book, and over the rim of the worn out cushions, you spotted the heads of Harry and Ron, setting on the carpeted floor between sofa and fireplace. Walking over to them, you let your bag down with a thud that made some of them turn their heads and smile in greeting, though you could see the light frowns on some of their faces.
They were equally as unpleased about your friendship with their Slytherin peers as they were about your Gryffindor housemates. Really, it was only natural, seeing as the two groups had a history of picking petty fights with each other and landing the others in the hospital wing. At least some of them held their frustration with the others back for the quidditch pitch, but the same couldn’t be said for all of them.
But your friends’ disapproival of your Slytherin friendgroup was nothing compared to their objection to your attachment to Mattheo Riddle, son of Lord Voldemort himslef and Harry’s personal nemesis since first grade. Not only were they among the students whispering about his reputation and dark legacy behind his back, Harry (and Ron) had also been on the receiving end of Mattheo's fists before- and hit back.
As you sat down between Hermoine and Ginny on the couch, you saw that Harry and Ron were sitting on the carpet, facing each other, a board of wizard chess in between them. The game seemed to have been going on for a while already, as a larger pile of defeated white figures and a smaller one of black figures lay by the side of the board. Harry seemed to be losing, as anyone would, against Ron. Watching Ron make a clever move against him, you lamented that you would love to see him play with Theo- it would certainly be a battle for the ages.
Ron looked up from the game when you got comfortable in the squishy cushions of the worn-out sofa and his eyes ran over you for a second, as if checking for injuries. “How was the snakepit?” he asked, and though it was humorous, his voice held an underlying tension.
“Anyone bite you?” asked Ginny from behind the shitty romance book she was currently hate-reading, a teasing tone evident in her voice. Out of all of them, Ginny was probably the most chill about your ties to the Slytherins, as she herself didn’t give much of a shit about house rivalries. “Anyone you’d want to bite you?” she added, making you huff out a small laugh under your breath.
“I am unharmed, thank you,” you said, a bit curtly at the condescending tone of Ron’s question. Just as it was with your Slytherin friends, you’d always defend your ties to the other group when they talked shit about each other- in the full knowledge that it would never change anything, and they would just keep hating each other.
When Mattheo had suggested you shouldn't waste your breath trying to stand up for your friends when their hostility ran too deep to ever be dismantled, you had asked if he’d say that about you defending him in front of your friends too. Thinking back to his taken-aback expression, you had to suppress a smile. Mattheo had never again tried to convince you not to stick up for your friends, but when you'd slept over at his dorm a few nights later, he’d asked you if you had been serious about defending him to your friends. He hadn’t looked at you, but you had heard the vulnerability in every gruff grumble of his tone.
Hermoine’s matter of fact voice drew your attention back to the situation at hand. “Did he finally ask you?” she inquired, scratching a loudly purring crokshanks behind the ear.
You knew what she was talking about, of course, and averted your eyes. Concealing your disappointment, you pretended to be interested in Harry's and Ron's game, where Ron now checkmated Harry, making him groan loudly. “No,” you answered in your best impression of indifference.
Harry, who had not been paying attention to the conversation due to his humiliating defeat, finally admitted his loss and turned his attention to the couch. “y/n?” he addressed you, chiming in, and you raised your brows at him inquiringly. Wringing his hands, he seemed a little embarrassed. “So… remember when I asked you about being my date for the Yule Ball?”
“Vividly,” you answered, nodding.
In fact, you did. In this very same common room, at about one in the morning, he’d called back to you when you’d made your way back up the stairs to the girl's dormitories. Due to procrastinating your homework of the last week, you had been staying up to complete several essays, with only him as your company. Being the Quidditch team captain and assigned the duties coming along with the position, he’d been behind his course work as well until the last embers of the fire had burned down. In the total darkness, he’d asked you to come with him to the yule ball- as a friend, of course. But you had declined the offer, still foolishly hoping that Mattheo might put his money where his mouth was and ask you out instead.
Harry rubbed his neck, sounding just as embarrassed as that night. “Yeah, well, I still kind of don’t really have a date yet ...”
General laughter took over the group at his red-faced confession. Next to you, Ginny giggled, shifting her concentration back onto her book, as Hermoine shook her head with a little smile. “Absolutely pathetic, mate,” commented Ron, collecting the chess figures and board to store them back in one of the shelves beside the fireplace.
“Hey,” said Harry indignantly, raising his brows at him, “you had to get asked by Hermoine because you didn’t have the balls to ask her herself!” More laughter followed his words and you clutched your sides, glancing over at Hermoine who was chuckling to herself as her eyes skimmed the parchment for any errors she might have missed. “He does have a point," she smiled.
Ron groaned at her, as if she had just delivered a brutal stab to his back, and let himself fall back onto the carpet as the laughter subsided. When he was done grinning at Ron’s humiliation, Harry turned back to you in a business-like manner. “Alright, I’ll be asking you one last time before i accept my fate as the sad, date-less guy for the night.”
His words reminded you that you, too, were among the last people to not have a date for the night, probably in the entire school. Pretty much all of your friends already had partners, and really, it wasn’t only true that you were Harry’s last resort, he was also yours, since Mattheo didn’t seem remotely interested in the idea of taking you out for the ball.
“And that would be different from the usual how?” Ginny asked with raised brows, still not looking up from her book.
“You’re not helping, Ginny,” Harry deadpanned at her before turning back to you, a pleading look in his eyes. “Look. You don’t have a date. I don’t have a date. And, speaking for myself here, if I don’t find one, McGonnagall might force me to take Mrs. Norris out of pity.”
The thought made you break out into a fit of giggles, picturing Harry dancing with the caretaker’s grumpy cat. Ron, who seemed to feel a similar way, grinned. “Now that’s a mental image I didn’t need.”
“Mrs. Norris in a tiny gown…,” said Ginny dreamily, turning a page in her book and making Harry roll his eyes at his friends’ antics.
Feigneing support, you patted his shoulder and offered empathetic, constructive advice. “Why not take Filch himself while you’re at it? I’m sure he’s a great dancer.”
Harry rubbed at his temples and shook his head at the round of laughter that followed your words. “Okay, so, moving on-,” he turned his gaze back to you, serious once more. “You are my best option.”
“Flattering, Harry,” you joked, “And they say chivalry is dead.” Smiling, you averted your eyes to think properly and instead focused them upon crookshanks who was striding towards you on the couch. You started to pet him, earning a mechanical sort of purr from the old cat, as you contemplated the situation.
“Listen,” said Harry, dragging himself on the carpet in your direction. “It’s a good pitch. We’ll go as friends, no pressure, no drama, no expectations- just two people avoiding being total losers together.”
Crookshanks began purring with more enthusiasm as you scratched him behind the ears, hesitating. “I mean… I guess?” It wasn’t like he didn’t have a point. Turning up alone would be less than favorable, especially since all your friends had dates for the night, except Harry. Honestly, you’d probably spend most of the night with him anyway, due to that fact. Might as well make it official.
The scratching of Hermpoine’s quill next to you had stopped as she looked at you over the rim of her parchment. “You guess?” she asked, eyes narrowed. You shrugged, instead of relaying the lengthy explanation for your hesitation. In spite of what Pansy constantly tried to convince you off, you were quite sure by now that Mattheo wasn’t going to ask you- which was fine. Really. It was absolutely fine with you. Except for the part where it wasn’t at all.
Maybe it was because Pansy had gotten your hopes up about this. Any time you had expressed your doubts about your friendship with Mattheo to her, she’d roll her eyes at you and tell you all sorts of things: how he’d been responsible for McLaggen’s unlucky incident that sent him to St Mungos after he had stood you up, how he would look at you with, as she put it, ‘a disgustingly lovesick stare’, how he would always find ways to bring you up in conversation when you weren’t around, his mind floating back to you regardless of the context, either stating or guessing what your opinion might be on the matter.
‘Honestly,’ she’d say, ‘That boy is so in love with you it’s embarrassing to sit next to. Like, truly appalling. And even worse to sit by while he always cops out of asking you out officially.’
But either way, whether what she was saying was true or a misguided guess, or a kind lie, you were quite sure he wouldn’t be making a move before Christmas. Did you really want to turn up without a date and watch him spend the night with some other girl dangling from his arm? He had enough of them at his disposal, in spite of his parentage or reputation. And, really, if he was doing these things in spite of your blatant signaling, in spite of being so weirdly territorial over you, you might as well go out with a guy that would tickle his nerves. See how he felt about that. As his arch-nemesis, Harry would certainly be ideal in that regard.
“You wanted Riddle to ask you, didn't you?” Hermoine’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, her gaze knowing as it rested on you.
You felt caught and sat up a little straighter. “...no.” Curse your denial to come out so hesitantly. But really, she was right. There had been nothing you had been more excited for than the possibility of going out with your best friend, back when the yule ball had been announced. And now, this.
Ron pointed an accusatory finger at you, frowning. “That was the least convincing no I’ve ever heard.”
Meanwhile, Ginny was giggling away at your side. “You so did,” she called your bluff and patted your leg in false pity.
With a long, desperate groan, you buried your face in your hands. “Ugh, shut up, please!”
But Ginny, still laughing, only marked her page with a bookmark and threw it aside onto a nearby table to turn her whole attention to you. “Merlin, this is so much better than my book!”
To quell all of their teasing at once - you could see Ron opening his mouth to add to your embarrassment and even Hermoine seemed to have something to say as she put away her parchment - you lifted your head from the palms of your hands and raised them to bring about silence. However, only your next words could get their attention. “Alright, alright, sure!” you called, face burning, “I’ll go with you, Harry.”
Whistling loudly, Ron earned himself a stern glare from Hermoine. When she had silenced his appreciative teasing, she turned to you, slightly frowning now. Meanwhile, Harry fisted the air, a relieved smile spreading across his face. “You won’t regret it, I promise. I’ll be the best fake date you’ve ever had.”
These words did manage to make your lips twitch into a small smile. “That is not a very high bar, Harry.”
Still frowning worriedly, Hermoine, ever the voice of reason, leaned towards you and placed a hand on your leg. “You don’t have to say yes just because Harry is desperate, you know that, right?”
“Wow, thanks, Hermoine,” said Harry sarcastically from the side, but she ignored him. Hoping to calm her worries, you smiled at her.
If you were being truthful, you would admit that this wasn’t a purely altruistic move on your part. Actually, you were hoping for some benefit to come out of this arrangement for you, as well. Maybe you could finally figure out if Mattheo felt anything more for you than friendship, if you forced his hand by going with his biggest rival. But you would rather have Harry and the others think you were just doing your friend a favor, a far more noble motivation than these darker intentions.
But Ginny seemed to see right through you. “Oh, come on. We all know you’re just saying yes to make Riddle jealous,” she blatantly called you out, earning herself a round of chuckles as the blood rushed to your face.
“That’s not-” you lied, a blushing and embarrassed mess and probably very obvious. You had never been that good at lying, and at least Mattheo said that he appreciated it, being surrounded with a group of friends who were just as good at lying as seeing through the lies of others. That he felt less like he had to watch his every step with you. He liked your openness, and he found your blushing adorable, always pinching your cheeks when you did and only worsening your situation most of the time.
Ginny curled with laughter at your feeble attempts to hide your true attention. “It totally is, who are you trying to convince here?” she asked, amusedly and you breathed a long sigh. Why did all this have to be so complicated? Feelings and people and dances.
But at least Harry seemed to take mercy on you, which was the least he could do after you’d given into his desperate pleas. “Alright, it’s settled then,” he sounded over Ginny’s laughter, giving you a trusted smile, “You and me- two best mates, going to the ball together. No weirdness.”
“No weirdness,” you repeated, quite thankful.
But Ginny quirked a teasing brow at you. “Except for when Riddle inevitably loses his mind over it." The idea ignited a spark of hope in you that you immediately felt bad for. Of course you didn’t want to make Harry a pawn in your game- but it may have been a sacrifice you were willing to make. However, you certainly didn’t want to put him at risk of spending time in the hospital wing or anything. Which was not that far-fetched of a worry.
“Not my problem,” shrugged Harry at Ginny’s words and you bit down on your lip. “It might be.”
Your words had been but a quiet mutter, but Ginny picked up on them and grinned at you with an expression that eerily reminded you of Pansy at the prospect of some juicy new drama. “On a scale of one to absolute insanity, how bad do you think he’s gonna take it?”
Sighing deeply and wringing your hands in your lap, you gave her a sheepish look, trying not to glance at Harry when you said, “I’m hoping for mild irritation.”
Ginny’s eyebrows shot up until they almost reached her hairline. Harry, too, seemed quite skeptical, as he leaned against the couch and frowned up at you. “And expecting?”
A small smile tugged at your lips, but you weren’t in a mood for joking. “...Something between homicide and setting the entire venue on fire,” you replied, hesitantly but probably as a more realistic estimation of the prospects. Regardless of whether or not Mattheo liked you, he surely didn’t take kindly to any boy getting, in his opinion, too close to you-especially not the Chosen One, whom he’d been pitted against since the first time he’d set foot on the doorstep of the castle.
“So, about a nine?” asked Ron, chuckling, and making the rest of you laugh again. It resoilved some of the tension that had been lingering in the air, the knowledge of a looming confrontation. Leaning over to you with faux secrecy, Ron said, “Just don’t come crying to us when he inevitably drags you into some dark corridor for a dramatic argument.”
“She’s hoping for that,” smirked Ginny, rolling her eyes- if at you or at her brother, you weren’t sure. Honestly, both of you deserved it.
Suddenly, Harry stood up from the carpet and straightened out his shirt, grinning dowm at you. Again, he had a business-like air about him. “Alright, if we’re doing this. we’re doing it properly.”
“What do you mean?” you asked, chuckling at his sudden enthusiasm.
Harry tipped an imaginary hat. “If i have to face the wrath of Mattheo Riddle, I at least want to look good while doing it” All of you chuckled at his determination and Ginny whistled. “Now, that’s the spirit.”
The first day of the holidays brought the first proper snow of the winter. Overnight, the snowflakes had danced quietly onto the earth and had turned the castle grounds into a fairytale landscape. The dark forest was no longer a black but a white mass, somehow less threatening and more inviting. But who would have felt the desire to disappear into the trees when the castle was buzzing with warmth and christmas joy?
The excitement for the yule ball especially was apparent everywhere, as students stood in the courtyard, huddled together in groups against the cold, and discussed dress robes and hairstyles for the next day's evening. A blanket of snow lay thick upon the stone gargoyles as you passed them, trotting behind Harry and Ron with Hermoine by your side. Your crunching steps left footprints in the white, glistening layer as you listened to Harry and Ron how much cake they would need for the afterparty in the common room.
Reaching the protection of the castle wall, you stood together, shielded against the sharp winter winds, as Ron started to change the topic to the amounts of firewhiskey they could smuggle in. “The thing is,” he said with a fervor you could rarely spot with him in class-related situations. “The Slytherins have the best connections to the hogshead, so we had a bit of trouble even finding someone who would give us hard liquor. We tried pretending to be McGonnagall to trick Madam Rosmerta into sending some up to the castle, but I don’t think it worked because she didn’t answer our owl.”
“Have you considered to pass yourself off as a teacher a bit more… relaxed than Professor McGonnagall?,” you suggested, looking from Harry to Ron with an amused expression.
“She’s the only professor who’s writing I could mimic,” said Harry, shrugging. “You have connections in Slytherin, right? Maybe you could get us some firewhiskey.” Hermoine murmured something like a reasonable objection into her scarf, but there was a lenient glinting in her eyes when she looked at Ron, who suddenly seemed hopeful at the idea. For once, not overly critical of your other friendships.
“Nah,” you said, deriving a certain satisfaction from seeing their hopeful expressions crumble. “Get your own connections. I’m not catching shit from McGonnagall for being responsible for your alcoholism.”
“Says the one with the nicotine addicted whatever he is to you,” said Hermoine, arms crossed tightly over her chest for warmth, with a smile and you huffed out an amused chuckle, your breath swirling in transcendent forms in the air before mingling with theirs and fading.
“But you bring up a good point,” said Harry, “The real question is: how would we even get all of it past McGonnagall and up to Gryffindor tower? I mean, we could use the invisibility cloak, but-”
Abruptly, he fell silent, and just the split of a second later did you realize the reason why, when the familiar smell of cigarettes and leather alerted you, with pin-point accuracy, who the culprit of Harry’s sudden discontinuation was. A shadow loomed over the four of you, huddled into your corner, and the easy atmosphere shattered like glass. You did not need him to speak to know who it was.
“Mind if I steal her for a moment?”
Mattheo’s voice was low, edged with amusement, but laced with something else as well, something unreadable. Ron and Hermoine whipped around, sharply, at the sound of his voice, Ron stepping in front of her slightly, as if on instinct. However, you turned only reluctantly, already aware who you’d find standing there, but not knowing whether you were keen on talking to him and revealing the inevitable bomb that might set him off.
Mattheo was leaning against the castle wall, mere feet from you. His dark eyes flickered over your friends with a lazy kind of scrutiny, lips twitching when he caught the way Hermoine’s posture stiffened and Ron’s expression darkened. His gaze lingered on Harry for half a second longer than necessary. Harry straightened slightly, shoulders squaring, and shifted as if to protest, but before he could speak, Mattheo cut him off with an easy smirk and a tilt of his head. “Relax, Potter, I won’t bite.” His gaze flickered back to you, locking onto yours as his smirk shifted into something more… deliberate. “Unless you ask nicely.”
He extended a hand- not touching you, just gesturing you forward, but the implication was clear. The moment seemed to stretch, a thick tension settling in the chilly air, before you stepped away from the wall, brushing a bit of snow off your sleeve. Behind you, Hermoine let out a barely audible sound of disapproval, Ron muttered something, in all likelihood, rude under his breath and Harry shifted slightly in your field of vision, as if he wanted to step in. But you threw them a pleading look not to make a thing out of it and walked over to Mattheo’s side, raising your brows at him in silent inquiry.
His eyes studied your expression, before he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and led you away. With a last little smile to your friends, you told them goodbye and walked away with him, not registering the slow, smug glance Mattheo gave them over his shoulder as he turned with you towards the entrance.
But the castle didn’t seem to be his desired destination. Instead, he led you down the flight of stairs connecting the courtyard and the greenhouses, all the while silent. You stocked it up to his bad mood. In truth, it was nervosity.
Mattheo had been rolling it around in his head all night, ever since he’d watched you leave the common room last night, Theo's dark suggestion still ringing in his ears, the cursed images of you with Potter, of all people, still haunting him. He’d already given Pucey his piece of mind about him considering to ask you out, but he knew you would mind - a lot - if he had a go at Harry that was so clearly provocated by himself. Knowing you wouldn’t forgive him too easily if he rearranged Potter’s face just a few days before christmas, and considering the massive truthbomb that was the fact that he, in actuality, held no claim over you. Yet.
Finally, after staring at the ceiling stubbornly for a good few hours, making his way through what was left of his last pack of cigarettes and not getting a minute of sleep, he’d finally not only worked up the courage, but also the words to finally, finally ask. But now, as he led you down the icy stairs, vigilant you wouldn’t trip, both the nerve and the ability to articulate himself seemed to have left him. Maybe he should have gotten some sleep before this after all. Or consumed anything other than black coffee and nicotine before approaching you to ask you- possibly the only question that really mattered.
When you reached the greenhouses, he leaned against one of the glass walls, fogged up against the cold, hands buried in his coat pockets. Feeling nervous, you moved to stand on the bit of snow-covered grass in front of him, sneaking glances up at him, his furrowed brows, his clenched jaw. “So,” he said slowly, as if weighing every word, “About the ball.”
“Oh,” you made, swallowing. With a nervous little nod, you wrung your frost-bitten hands and looked up into his brown eyes, so beautiful against the cold white sky. They were surprisingly calm, given the news you thought would enrage him. Maybe it didn’t matter to him after all. “So you heard, then?”
But Mattheo tilted his head, incredulously. “Heard what, exactly?” Oh shit. Perplexedly, you blinked up at him, having assumed he would have heard by now through Enzo’s miraculous grapevines, and that that was the reason he had wanted a chat. “...that I’m going with Harry.”
Mattheo stilled, expression faltering for just a second before his jaw clenched- tight. His eyes, usually gleanming with lazy humour, darkened as they locked onto yours, the look in them almost making you take a step back before you could get your instincts back under control. “Potter?” he said, his voice deceptively calm, but you could see the way his fingers flexed, as if suppressing a sudden urge to clench them into fists. His tongue ran over his teeth, exhaling sharply through his nose like he was trying to reel himself in.
Mattheo felt the words hit im like a slap, over and over again. That I’m going with Harry. I’m going with Harry. I’m going with Harry. They twisted something inside him, and it hurt, though he’d rather die than let it show. Potter. Out of all the people in this godforsaken castle, it had to be him. His jaw was locked as he forced himself to keep his expression neutral, but he could feel the tightness in his chest, the way his fingers flexed and twitched with the urge to grab you- to shake some sense into you.
You tilted your head and looked up at him with those nervous, pretty eyes of yours, an unsure, hesitant smile playing around your lips. “What other Harrys could I possibly be referring to?” you asked, in a feeble attempt to bring some humour into the situation, light up his face that was grim and tight, as if in shadow.
Mattheo wanted to laugh, to show you how utterly unaffected he was by this news, and at the same time, he burned to throw out some sharp, cutting remark about how predictable it was, how you must have lost your damn mind. But the words felt heavy in his throat. Because it was a perfectly sane decision. Going out with Potter was probably way more sensible than going out with him.
Instead, he leaned back slightly, rolling his shoulders as if the news didn't settle like lead in his stomach. “Didn’t know you were into charity work now,” he drawled, voice deceptively smooth, but there was a cutting edge to it, a sharpness that wasn’t usually there- or rather, was usually directed at everyone but you.
“You’re really going with that bastard?” he asked, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet. Not even looking into your eyes could calm the storm raging inside him now, as it spread through every fibre of his body, balled in his chest, reached the tips of his fingers as they almost shook with suppressed rage. Now, they were just a reminder of what he couldn’t have.
Of course you’d go with Potter, why would you have even considered him? When people were already whispering behind your back about you and your friendship with him, calling you names and giving you looks, calling you a house traitor and shallow or two-faced, the irony not even occurring to them. But Merlin, how he hated, how he detested, how he loathed that Harry was, sensibly, a better option for you than he would ever be.
He let out a slow breath through his nose, shaking his head slightly, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek. He shouldn't even care. Since when had he let people get to him like this? But you weren't just anyone. You were you. You were his. And then again, you weren’t. And he shouldn’t be feeling this burning frustration curling in his chest, shouldn’t feel the itch in his fingers to grab your wrist and tell you to drop the whole fucking thing. But he did. And that pissed him off even more.
“He asked me as a friend,” you said, feeling the need to clarify. Why you had thought it would calm the storm raging in his eyes, you didn’t know, as a dry, sarcastic laugh fell from his lips, missing his usual casual teasing tone. “Oh, of course. Just friends.”
Your clueless frown only fueled his anger and he clicked his tongue impatient at you, taking some sick enjoyment in the way his glare made you recoil slightly. “Never taken you as naive before, sweetheart.” When he usually whispered the nickname, it was a flirty drawl, and accompanied by a teasing smirk, or just a casual, rare smile. Now, he spat it out, barely containing his frustration. But he wasn’t the only one irked by the other.
“Mattheo, I adore you,” you said firmly, frowning up at him, “But just because you’ve got a hidden motive behind everything doesn’t mean he has.” Trying to think of the right words, you bit down on your lower lip. “He just…”
“...didn’t find anyone as nice as you to take pity on him?” Mattheo finished your sentence, his brows raised with dry humor. You could tell he was trying to push your buttons now, deflecting from his own emotions by trying to get yours up, in an attempt to get the upper hand. Because with him, everything had to be a fight, a struggle, a confrontation.
Refusing to let him get to you, you crossed your arms over your chest and looked at him coolly. “Maybe I said yes because he actually asked me.”
Unexpectedly, his detached demeanor seemed to crack for just a second. Something shifted in his expression, flickering -or falling- before he got his features back under control. “Huh,” he made, and you were treated to the rare sight of Mattheo Riddle running out of words. His lips twitched grimly, brows furrowed.
Trying to stop him thinking of some sarcastic, meticulous provocation, you took a step towards him, your breath puffing in the air. “Yeah. Huh.”
Finally, an ironic smile forced itself upon his face, it almost seemed to pain him, as the way his nails dug into his palms had to. “So, you’re gonna spend the whole night batting your eyelashes at Mr. Gryffindor Golden Boy then?”
“Why do you care?” you asked quickly, trying to catch him off guard. Your eyes zeroed in on every twitch of his expression, looking for tell-tale signs- as he surely was, too. Was it platonic protectiveness and his disdain for his rival, Harry, or could it be jealousy? His eyes met yours, fiercely, his intense stare piercing you, and though your heart skipped a beat, you held his gaze, determined not to back down.
Mattheo leaned in slightly, getting close to your face with a mocking smile dancing around his lips. “I don’t,” he said with biting sarcasm. “I wish you the best of times with Potter.”
Scoffing, you averted your eyes. His proximity was suffocating, it was confusing, a round of sparks dancing in the pit of your stomach, so unlike the butterflies people always talked about. No, your love for him was explosive, it was brimming with glimmering tension, threatening to turn into a wildwire, expanding until it consumed you whole. And you’d burn gladly as long as you burned in his hold. “No, you don’t” you contered, looking back up to find him looking at you with such hunger in his brown eyes.
Mattheo grinned grimly, clicking his tongue in a way that could have drove you into a craze. “You’re right. Hope you trip in those ridiculous heels Pansy will make you wear.”
Pretending to be annoyed, you huffed out a long breath, caught somewhere in between amusement and exasperation. “You have no right to be mad, Mattheo.”
For a moment, the only sound between you was the distant howl of the wind in the courtyard archways above, the faint echo of laughter carried down to the greenhouses by the breeze as the truth of your words hung in the tense air between you. Mattheo was watching you, his jaw tight, his lips curved into that infuriating smirk that didn’t quite reach his eyes. You could see it- how his amusement was forced, how something far more volatile simmered beneath the surface. His words from a second ago still hung between you, sharp-edged and taunting. “Who says I’m mad?”
Without thinking, you reached up, fingers curling around his jaw, your palm warm against the biting cold of his skin. His breath hitched- so soft, so fleeting you almost missed it- but his entire body went rigid, as if the contact had struck him like a spell. His dark eyes, always so unreadable, widened just slightly, caught between surprise and something else. You tilted his chin up just enough to meet his gaze fully, your thumb brushing over the sharp edge of his jaw, and then, with a voice quiet but unwavering, you murmured, “Your face.”
With a whiplash-inducing speed, his demeanor changed, his smirk turning seductive as he leaned into your touch, a disarming glint in his chocolate brown eyes. “And you’d no all about that, wouldn’t you, sweetheart?”
It was unfair. He knew exactly how to tickle your nerves, and just when you’d thought you’d won the struggle for the upper hand, he flipped a card like this, completely taking you aback. The heat of your stomach seemed to rush into your cheeks and you glared at him, at the knowing look in his eyes. There was a reason he was in Slytherin. But there was also a reason you were in Gryffindor.
“I'll see you tomorrow at the ball,” you scoffed, frustrated, let go of his face and took a step back. You knew looking at him might make you turn back to either kiss or slap him, so you turned around sharply and stormed up the stairs back to the courtyard. He didn't follow you, but you could feel the burning piercing of his stare resting on your back.
Pansy’s dorm was alive with the flicker of enchanted candlelight, the air thick with the mingling scents of your perfumes, hairspray and the faintest trace of Pansy’s expensive vanilla-sandalwood lotion. You stood before her full-length mirror, smoothing your hands over the flowing green fabric of your dress as Pansy, perched on the edge of the bed, tilted her head in assessment. “Honey, you look absolutely gorgeous,” she concluded, rising from the bed to walk over to you and arrange the dress in areas.
Her's was already wrapped around her figure, complementing her curves. You tugged at the neckline of yours, unsure of how much cleavage you were showing. In the shop, it had somehow seemed less risque, though it had still been more than you would usually be comfortable with. “Are you sure?”
Halting her prodding movements and tugs, Pansy straightened up and rested her head on your shoulder, smirking at you through the mirror with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “Am I sure you look gorgeous or that Mattheo will like it?”
The blush that shot up into your cheeks would have made any rouge unnecessary. “Pansy!” you hissed, glaring at her, but she only laughed and lifted her head from your shoulder to turn you away from the mirror and to her, for further inspection.
“Don’t worry,” she said, for once with a sincere look on her face and a warm smile gracing her lips. “He will fall in love with you all over again and beat Potter to death before he can even get a hand onto your waist.” Her eyes glinted. “At least after I’m done with your hair.”
In spite of her reassuring words, you let your critical eyes wander over your figure in the mirror as Pansy sat you down on a chair. Her fingers carded into your hair, brushing it out and parting it into sections as she got to work on pinning it up in elegant ways. Brows furrowed in concentration, her fingers worked as if she’d done it a million times before. You scanned her frowning face in the mirror's reflection, rolling her words over in your mind. Pansy was one of your best friends, she wouldn’t lie to you, but-
“Pans?” you asked into the quiet, making her hum in response and raise her brows at you. You opened your mouth, lips parted to beg for further reassurance- but you closed them again, swallowing. It wasn’t like they would convince you, not after having heard her constant encourages for months and never truly having believed them. Or had you? Was it the reason you were so disappointed about Mattheo not asking you out, like you felt you could expect it of him after all Pansy had told you? “Thanks,” you finally said.
Your defeated tone seemed to catch her attention as her eyes snapped up to meet yours in the mirror’s reflection. She frowned. “You know, for someone who’s got a date tonight, you don’t look very excited.”
“I am excited,” you lied, giving her a tense little smile she saw right through.
With raised brows, she got back to putting your hair up with a mix of barrettes, hairspray, and magic. “Mhm, try saying that again without sounding like you’re in mourning.” With a promising little smile, she nudged your shoulder. “I promise you the evening will still get rather exciting for you, even if Potter’s a bore.”
You sighed, unable to hold onto the words any longer as your hands clasped in your lap. “You always try to convince me that he likes me,” you said, without saying the name you were trying to avoid, because it was such a sinful pleasure to let it flow off your tongue, like a kid mumbling a curse word under the protection of its blanket, just to try out the sound of it. A forbidden sound, the promise of freedom. Why was it so hard to say his name, after you’d said it so many times these past few months? In scolding tones, in warning tones, in teasing tones, in affectionate tones. Most of the times, it was the latter- most of the time, he returned your name in the same way.
As you thought of the right way to express the confusion you felt over his actions, Pansy waited, sielntly, and delivered the last, finishing touches to your hair. “If he likes me, why didn’t he ask me?” you finally asked, simple enough.
The question made her sigh and roll her eyes as her perfectly manicured hands clasped down on your thinly clad shoulders. “Because he’s an idiot and a coward. Just like you. Don’t tell him I said that.” You returned her encouraging smile, though still feeling rather pessimistic. Pansy patted your shoulder. “Honestly, since when has Mattheo known to handle his feelings?”
“Fair point,” you sighed, as she released you and walked over to her desk, to her other mirror, displaying her makeup on the surface. As she started to put hers on, you opened your bag as well and got out what you needed, making sure to get none on your dress. For a few minutes, you worked in silent concentration, the quiet only broken by laughter and shouts from the Slytherin common room.
Because she’d insisted on helping you with your hair, you’d agreed to get ready with Pansy in her dorm on the big evening. You had been here for an hour, chatting, trying on each other’s dresses, flipping through magazines for hair and makeup inspiration. Now, it was only an hour until the start of the ball, and the excitement that brimmed in the whole castle even reached the Slytherin dorms in the dungeons. When you’d hurried through it with Pansy, the common room had been devoid of its usual calm and had rather reminded you of the Gryffindor common room on a rowdy saturday, with students mingling and mixing, chatting in excited voices, their anticipation barely contained behind their Slytherin coolness.
Pansy’s voice cut through your meandering thoughts, snapping you back to reality as you started to apply mascara. “When did you tell him, anyway? That you’re going with Potter?”
“Yesterday,” you answered, leaning forward to examine your work in detail. “Why?”
Even through her distant reflection in the mirror, you could distinctly make out her sudden smirk, pulling at her now full and red looking lips. “Oh, nothing,” she warbled innocently, though she looked as if she’d just unraveled a particularly thrilling christmas present. Her glinting eyes locking on your expression as she closed the lid on her lipstick was like a mouse trap snapping shut. “Just… Have I mentioned Mattheo has been a complete nightmare since yesterday?”
You paused mid lipgloss application to meet her eyes through the mirror, her words sinking in and coiling in the pit of your stomach. “...What?” you asked, trying not to sound too eager for her to expand on these seductive words.
Pansy grinned, turning to her mirror to deliver some last finishing touches to her face. “Oh, darling. He’s livid.”
“Why would he be livid?” you asked, frowning, getting back to your lipgloss. “It’s not like he cares.”
Pansy’s mock gasp told you she was not at all convinced by your reasoning- nor fooled by the false indifference in your voice. But she gave into your silent need for answers anyway, a knowing smile on her lips. “Oh, sure, that’s why he nearly hexed Enzo for breathing too loudly this morning.” She corrected the blend of her eyeshadow, enjoying the effect her words had on you. “Honestly, I should be mad at you for causing such an unbearable mood in our common room, but it’s just too entertaining.”
“I didn’t cause anything,” you deflected grumpily, glaring at your own reflection as if it were him, trying to convince yourself, trying not to let Pansy get your hopes up again and, at the same time, yearning for something to grasp onto. “Whatever’s got to him, I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with me.”
Making an unconvinced sound, Pans angled her face differently to admire it in different lighting. “Tell that to the poor first-year who had a nervous breakdown yesterday when Mattheo snapped at him for existing.”
“What?” you snapped sharply, frown deepening. Unfazed, Pansy rose from her seat and walked over to you, swaying her hips as she met your eyes in the mirror. You sighed at the grin on her face, getting back to applying your makeup. “He can be mad all he wants, it doesn’t change the facts.” Right. It changed nothing. You shouldn’t even care.
Pansy raised her perfectly lined brows at your attempts to seem indifferent. “Then why are you applying your lipgloss for the third time?” Before you could answer, she grabbed the lipgloss out of your hands, closed it and threw it back into your back. With a pull that left no room for protest, she tugged you up and towards the door. “You look fantastic. Come on, let’s get you out and about so you can meet your Chosen One up at Gryffindor tower.”
As you walked down the steps and stepped into the common room, your heart began to thrum in your chest at the realization that he’d probably be there. That he’d see you. In this dress. For a moment, you wished you’d gotten one with a more modest neckline, but then again, you burned to see his reaction.
It was as if you already felt it on the bottom step, as Pansy urged you into the common room. His presence, and then, the weight of his stare as you spotted him leaning against one of the leather couches beside Theo, dressed in, for once, unsullied dress robes. His gaze locked and you, your figure, and the tension in the air seemed thick enough to choke on.
Mattheo hadn’t even been looking, let alone waiting for you. At least that was what he told himself. But the moment the sound of heels clicking against the stone steps echoed through the common room, his body betrayed him. His fingers, lazily spinning a silver ring around his knuckle, stilled. His jaw clenched. And when he finally glanced up, just like he swore he wouldn’t, it was like taking a hit straight to the ribs.
You were stunning. Not just in the way that made his breath catch, but in the way that made his stomach twist, made something dark coil in his chest. Because you weren’t dressed for him. And yet, his first thought was that you should’ve been. His expression didn’t change, smirk perfectly in place, body draped in his usual lazy confidence- but his grip on his ring tightened, his throat felt dry, and he had to physically stop himself from shifting toward you. He knew the moment your eyes met his, you’d notice something in his stare, something raw, something dangerous. So he looked away first. Just for a second. Just long enough to breathe.
A thrill ran through you when your eyes met his, sharp and electric. He was still lounging in that infuriatingly effortless way, all cocky smirks and feigned disinterest, but you knew better. You saw it—the clench in his jaw, the way his fingers had gone stiff around that damn silver ring. The way his gaze flickered, just barely, before snapping back to you like he hadn’t meant to look away at all.
The other boys had now taken notice of your presence as well. Charming compliments rolling off his lips like the finest vinegar, Blaise made his way towards Pansy, who smirked him off and locked her arm with yours, telling him something about just having perfected her look and getting you out of here before someone choked on their own spit. But your eyes were still locked on Mattheo, as if there was a magnetic pull attracting them that rendered you unable to avert your gaze.
Only Pansy’s gentle nudges and tugging moved your feet towards the entrance wall, as if on autopilot, and only her whispered voice as she leaned in could cut through the rushing in your ears. “Alright, what’s the plan for tonight when Mattheo inevitably corners you at the ball?”
Anxious for none of the boys to overhear you, you leaned in closer, muttering, “... Ignore him?”
Pansy scoffed at your suggestion, rolling her eyes with a little smirk. Gently, she nudged your side and lifted her brows at you. “Adorable. Wrong, but adorable.”
You sighed, reaching the entrance to the common room and turning to her for a brief goodbye. You had to physically restrain yourself from looking back at Mattheo, who’s gaze you could feel burning into your skin, a silent dare to look back, walk back, to him. But you wouldn’t. “It doesn’t matter,” you tried to convince yourself more than you tried to convince Pansy. “I’m with Harry tonight. End of story.”
But Pansy seemed unimpressed by your stubborn conviction. A promising smirk graced her lips as she tilted her head towards Mattheo subtly. “Oh, honey. This story is just getting started.”
a/n: stay tuned for part b 🫶 | if anyone would like to get tagged for part b who isn't already in the general or mattheo tag list, leave a comment!
idk how but i managed to read the first part of this new work and I'm already so obssessed with the story like omg ?? your writing always amaze me, this is so fucking amazing. you're so talented ?!! im such a sucker everytime mattheo get jealous, he's just so 😫😫 i cant even put a word on it. but the way you write the feeling of jealousy is so good and captivating. the fact, even Enzo is scared, I'm screaming !!! i cant wait to read the part2. poor potter because he's gonna be the first victim. always the victim in fact 😭😭😭why the 13k words feel so short, im Reading everything too fast ! but i didn't blink once. anyways tonight, im reading the next chapter ! idk how you manage to be this fast but this is very appreciated, tysm for your work 🙏🏿✨
-> not only is mattheo too late to ask you out to the yule ball, you're going with harry potter of all people. now, his best friend is going to the ball with his nemesis and he has some feelings about it.
-> mattheo riddle x bsf! reader; part b; eventual nsfw; mdni; wc: 12k; cw: swear words; mentions of violence; tags: friends to lovers, yule ball setup; again I wasn't able to tag everyone, sorry :(
( masterlist )
The crystal glass dangled loosely from Mattheo’s fingers, the deep red of the wine catching the flickering candlelight as he swirled it absentmindedly. The Great Hall, all decked in crystal blue, was filled with the chatter of students streaming in from the Entrance Hall, their dresses swirling in and ot of the crowd like a particularly hypnotizing kaleidoscope. Mattheo leaned against one of the grand marble pillars, the cool stone pressing into his back, but it did nothing to ground him- not when he spotted you in the midst of a large Gryffindor crowd squeezing through the Entrance Gates.
A slow burn seemed to spread out beneath his skin as he cursed the tight knot forming in his stomach- he had sworn to himself that he would not care. At least not visibly. That he’d drink, flirt, maybe even steal someone else onto the dance floor just to pass the time. But then he spotted you, and all his carefully built indifference collapsed. And here he was, clutching his glass so tightly it was damn near shattering under his grip and scowling as his eyes seemed unable to sway from your figure.
Despite having seen you just a few minutes before and having had to refrain himself from dragging you off to his dorm, the sight of you in your emerald green dress hit him like a slap in the face. It wasn’t for him -he knew that, damn it- but it didn’t matter. Because it was not just any green, but the kind that curled around his ribs like a vice, the kind that belonged to him. Deep, rich emerald, his color, pooling at your feet in silken waves, clinging to your skin in a way that made his fingers twitch with the urge to touch.
And yet, you weren’t on his arm. You were on Potter’s. And the sight of it -of Harry fucking Potter standing where Mattheo should have been- lit something violent and unsteady beneath his skin.
He rolled his jaw, exhaling slow and controlled breaths as he lifted the wine to his lips. The taste was sharp, bitter, but not nearly bitter enough. It did nothing to drown out the ugly feeling in his chest, curling around his insides like a snake, eager to squeeze all life out of him. A slow, pulsing irritation clawing at his chest.
He should look away. Should let the scene wash over him like he didn’t give a damn, like it didn’t matter that stood so close to you you could’ve been kissing, like it didn’t make his blood hum with something ugly. But he didn’t. Couldn’t. Because no matter how much he told himself he didn’t care, there you were, wrapped in green silk like a present for him alone, ready to be unraveled.
Fuck. He really should have asked you sooner. How stupid of him to assume no one but him would ask you, how cowardly of him to keep teetering the edge without delving into the abyss with you, holding you tight as he fell from the heavens. But he’d drag you down with him. As a joke, you had called him a fallen angel once- and though he wasn’t so sure about himself, you had to be a creature of the heavens, with that smile and laugh of yours, with the way you eagerly listened to your friends and ran a hand over your dress. He could read your face like it was an open book, read your mingling self-consciousness in the dress, and it drove him mad. Made him burn to stride over and show you exactly just how stunning you were.
But in that exact moment, your eyes scanned the crowd and met his, widening slightly. A hesitant smile tugged at your lips. Innocent. As if you had no idea of the effect you had on him, the way he craved you, the way he boiled with hot anger when Harry noticed your distractedness and glanced over. And had the audacity to snake his arm around your waist. His jaw clenched and he willed himself to remain in place when Potter leaned in and whispered something to you. Merlin, this night would be hell. On his way down from heaven, it seemed he had missed earth and landed right in the devil’s lair.
“Everything alright?” At the sound of Harry’s voice close to your ear you flinched slightly, blinking to regain your normal train of thought- the one that didnt want to crash face first into the man currently glaring at you from across the hall.
You turned to Harry and gave him a friendly smile you hoped wouldn’t betray the mix of nervosity, self-consciousness and unbearable excitement curling in your chest. “Yeah,” you said quickly, clearing your throat. “You?” Because Harry had been squirming against your side ever since you’d set foot in the Great Hall.
A light frown pulled his brows together as he glanced fleetingly in the direction of the man you had been caught up with just before, tugging lightly at your waist to quicken your steps. “I’m alright, just terrified Riddle’s death stares will turn into actual curses,” he said, chuckling slightly but with a visible nervousness in the way his fingers twitched and eyes darted back every other second.
Refusing to look back at Mattheo, you leaned into Harry and gave him a reassuring smile. “If he comes this way, I’ll fall to my knees dramatically so you can make your escape.” That elicited a laugh from Harry, and, visibly calmer, he guided you towards the center of the room, followed by your Gryffindor friends.
Enzo, who stood next to Mattheo waiting for his Ravenclaw date for the night, whistled under his breath as you laughed with Harry, and nudged Theo. “She sure dolled herself up for Potter, didn’t she?”
The other chuckled in return, eyes flashing over to Mattheo who’s jaw was taut as his eyes remained glued to your figure. “Yeah…,” he said slowly, gauging his reaction out of the corner of his eye, “Dunno if I would dress like that for a friend.” Him and Enzo shared an amused look when Mattheo scoffed at them, knocking back the remaining wine. With careful words, they stoked the flames, ready to save themselves into appropriate safety distance once their prodding caused a wildfire.
But Mattheo stood eerily still, resembling a marble statue more so than a man. With a barely concealed smirk, Theo leaned over Enzo and dropped his voice, directly addressing him. “Careful, mate, you’re staring hard enough to set him on fire.”
Abruptly, Mattheo pushed himself off the wall and both Enzo and Theo took an instinctive step back. But Mattheo only glared at them in a way that had cold seep into their very bones before scowling at his empty glass. “I’ll get a refill.” And he was gone.
Weaving through bodies and dresses, Mattheo made his way to the bar, simplified somewhat by the instinctive step back people took at the sight of him. Muttering a frustrated curse under his breath, he slammed his empty glass on the bar counter, along with a few knuts to pay for the refill.
Breathing in the whifts of so many perfumes certainly didn’t clear the fog in his mind. Quite the opposite, they seemed to claw at the more rational functions of his brain, whispering in deivilishly seductive tones. In search of a distraction, he let is gaze flicker, but, as if it was magnetically drawn to it, it came to rest on your figure once more.
Beneath his fuming fury lay something deeper, more tender. As he watched you pull Harry onto the dancefloor with a look of mock pleading, he found himself completely enraptured with the way your lips moved, the way your dress swayed and your eyes shone bright. If it was him following you onto the dancefloor, would your smile be as wide? Why would it be? Harry’s hands were hesitant and gentle, his were stained with an unwanted legacy and the blood that you would always wash off of him, running a soft towel over his knuckles and cleaning his palms carefully.
You were all softness and gentleness, he was jagged edges and destruction. Where people flinched away from him, they seemed to gravitate towards your light. A light that Harry matched, while he was the dark, lurking in the shadows. A greedy, beastly creature that, in spite of loving you, craved to ruin you more than anything. Had he been delusional to consider that someone like you could ever love something as twisted as him?
It wasn't like he didn’t know you deserved better- maybe it had been what made it unable for him to finally bridge the gap, pull you into him in moments when your lips would hover close, yet impossibly far from each other. You were dancing in the light, and all he could think about was dragging you back into the shadows with him.
As you animated Potter to dance with you, he felt a pang of hurt tug at his bruised heart. Potter was the sort of guy you brought home to your family. He got to dance with you, while Mattheo got to drown in his own poison and pretend he didn’t care, ignore the monster rattling his ribcage, yearning to break free. Rolling his jaw tensely, he grabbed the filled glass and took off towards his friends once more.
“You’re so much better at this than me,” sighed Harry in frustration, staring intently at his feet as if willing them to repeat the same, easy steps.
His tense concentration elicited a small laugh from you. “i had practice. Harry, your feet are not the enemy, you don’t have to work against them, you have to let them carry you.”
“But I don’t trust them,” he murmured, albeit taking his eyes off the floor with a sigh- and promptly stepping on your foot. When you winced, a string of apologies stumbled form his lips like a waterfall, but you quickly assured him it was alright. the embarrassment left a pink hue on his cheeks and his eyes darted around, as if looking for an escape. They rested on someone behind you and twitched into a sudden grin. “Don’t turn around now,” he said conspiratorially, leaning down and lowering his voice. “But I think Pucey’s date might puke on his dress robes with the way she keeps squirming away from him.”
In spite of his warning, you shot a quick look over your shoulder and broke out into giggles when you spotted Pucey awkwardly dancing with his very unentertained date.
Mattheo’s grip on the glass tightened as you giggled at Potter’s joke. You were too far for him to hear the sound of your laugh, but he didn’t need to- the way your face lit up was enough to twist something savage inside him. Mattheo’s jaw ticked, a muscle twitching as he dragged his teeth across his bottom lip, biting down hard enough to taste blood. You shouldn’t be looking at Potter like that. That softness in your eyes, the kind Mattheo craved like a dying man craved air, wasn’t meant for him. And yet, there you were- beautiful, untouchable, clean and unspoiled, unlike him.
“I’m serious!” Harry called as the song took up speed and rhythm. Not even your pleading eyes seemed to sway him to twist you. “I can’t do stuff like that. I’m a miserable dancer!”
“Come on!” you groaned with a mix of amusement and exasperation. “It’s really easy, and I’ll be doing most of the heavy lifting anyway! Just hold your hand up like this-” He followed your order, clumsily spinning you around so that you stumbled into each other and almost crashed into Professor McGonnagall and Professor Dumbledore. Despite her pointed glare, you giggled like schoolchildren as you shuffled away from them.
Mattheo watched Harry twist you clumsily, and a bitter sort of satisfaction burned in the back of his throat, barely eased by the alcohol. “Pathetic,” he muttered sharply under his breath, eyes trained on you as you eased Harry back into dancing, cringing slightly when he stepped on your foot again. Fuck, how much better he would do if he was in Potter’s place. It was like the idiot wasn’t even trying.
Mattheo may not desreve you, but heavens strike him down if he couldn’t give you a better time than Potter. He wouldn’t hold you like you were a fragile thing, made of glass, shattering at the slightest tightening of a grip. As he followed your swaying figure with his eyes, he could picture it all: how he would hold and twirl you properly, his princess, his sweetheart. How he would whisper in your ear, tell you how gorgeous you looked, making you blush and giggle, or bite back a witty response.
Like the time a few months ago, when you’d practiced a quickstep. The topic had come up during one of your nights up at the Astronomy tower, him smoking and you pressed to his side, going through your Transfiguration notes. Under the watchful stars, he’d admitted to you that it had been Theo who had taught him how to dance, to both of their great frustration. The thought had amused you so much you had toppled over with laughter, and he remembered his heart picking up speed when you leaned against him for support, teasing him about the mental images he’d produced with this revelation.
Once you’d teased him thoroughly, you’d asked if you could rehearse the steps- supposedly for your refreshment of skill. You had barely tried to hide the fact that it was an excuse, and he hadn’t been about to question it when it presented such a tempting opportunity. There had been no record player up in the tower, but you’d simply pulled him up and rehearsed the steps. It had turned out he had more to learn from you than you from him.
With Theo as his teacher, it had been all steps, rigid rules, organised and contained, a pragmatic use of the legs. With you, however, it had been different. You had known what it meant to dance. The movement came natural to you, it wasn’t bound to rules or control, but a way to break free and let loose. It had been quite the adjustment, but Mattheo had found he much preferred your way of dancing. And by midnight, he had twirled you skillfully beneath the starry sky, your giggles and his teasing the only thing breaking the solitude of silence.
This night, however, felt like a warped version of the one he’d spend with you up at the tower. Too much noise, too many people and no clear fucking air, and instead of him, it was Potter holding you. At least you weren’t slow dancing.
His attention was momentarily averted when Pansy came stumbling towards him, Blaise following after. Their short breaths and the remnants of lipstick all over Blaise's face and neck were enough of an indicator where they’d been off too, as were the beaming grins on their faces.
Pansy, clearly already drunk, reached out and grabbed his drink, downing it. Too engrossed in the sight of Potter attempting another twirl that was just slightly less atrocious, he didn’t try to stop her. The alcohol didn’t help his overstimulated senses and cloudy mind anyway, only adding another layer of distortion to make him dizzy. He was miserable, he was fuming, and he couldn’t even drown his troubles in booze. Just great.
“Didn’t feel like dancing?” Pansy asked with a smirk. She leaned against the pillar next to him as Blaise left to get drinks for them both.
“You didn’t either, by the looks of it,” he quipped, eyes shortly tracing the marks that the dress was not accustomed to hide.
Pansy seemed as unbothered as usual though, only shooting him another smug smile. “She was cute though,” she said, grabbing a handful of chocolates off the plate of a waiter passing by them. “Ravenclaw, right?”
“Who?” asked Mattheo, taken aback, and stared at her incredulously.
Pansy toppled over with a snort. “You can’t be serious. You didn’t even see her? She was flirting with you for a good minute before she gave up.”
“Must’ve been distracted,” he muttered, glancing back to the dancefloor where you seemed to animate Potter’s spirits to little avail.
“I can see that,” Pansy jeered, following his gaze. “Merlin, she could’ve at least picked someone who knows how to dance. But then again-” She gave him a look he didn’t reciprocate, “it may still have been the best choice, don’t you think?”
“What the fuck makes you say that, Pans?” he asked sharply, letting his head fall back against the cold stone. At least the pain provided a small window out of the damn dizziness clouding his thoughts. “Just look at him, you could almost pity him.”
“Well, look at you,” she mused, which made him lift his head and frown at her. Pansy rolled her eyes in exasperation, actual sharpness laced into her tone as she glared at him. “Look, I’m tired of this. We all are. So either clear things up with her or you find yourself a good fuck for the night, Riddle. It’s an imposition to watch you brood.” Pushing herself off the marble pillar, she left in the direction of the bar, leaving Mattheo alone with his frustration.
He gritted his teeth as he rolled her words over in his mind. As if it were that easy. It was true that he had earned himself quite the reputation as a womanizer, or, as you called it, a manwhore, but his one night stands had become less and less frequent the closer he’d become with you over these past few months. He had always fucked for the distraction, never for the desire or the satisfaction. The fleeting high was a short moment of freedom, the control he could excerpt through his accommodated skills in bed a grim gratification.
But now, a burning desire unlike any he had ever known had taken a hold of him and wrapped an unrelenting hand around his heart. It would burn beneath his fingertips when he slipped his hands teasingly under your shirt, brushed his fingers over your thigh, pulled you into his lap. These short-lived moments that were both torture and fulfilment, especially when you’d blush and avert your eyes, when he would lean his head into the crook of your neck and listen to your heartbeat picking up speed.
Any time he’d have a girl in his bed now, all he could picture was you. When he kissed them, he imagined it was your lips, and when his hands would run along their bodies, he would imagine it was yours. He couldn’t stand it when they started moaning and talking, because it would fracture the fantasy and remind him that they weren’t you. But his bare hands weren’t enough either- they only intensified his desire to have you, to consume you, to see you fall apart on his cock and fingers. And it had the annoying downside that the girls he used as substitutes were, understandably, very indignant when it was your name he grunted when he came instead of theirs.
If he tried to distract himself with another hookup tonight, all he would be able to picture would be you and your dress, and there would be nothing but frustration at the thought, of unrequired longing. He also would have to fight the mental image of you if you found out how he was using others to fantasize about you. No, finding someone else to fuck wasn’t an option. So, what choice remained?
At that moment, the song ended and the crowd broke out into applause for the band. Stupid relief flooded him when Potter took his hands from your waist, tinged with slight satisfaction when it was Mattheo who he cast a nervous glance at, as if he’d touched a forbidden fruit. It cost him everything in the world to give him a harsh nod towards you. Fucking hell. Now he was directing his worst enemy to dance with his girl. But the last thing he wanted, truly, was to ruin your night. His was already miserable enough.
The band struck up a new, slower tune. It seemed to be a song you recgonized and you turned to Potter excitedly, but the latter seemed less enthusiastic at the prospect of another dance. After a short discourse, you seemed to reluctantly agree and readily let Potter tug you off the dance floor. Mattheo pushed himself off the cold stone digging into his back.
“I’ll get us some drinks, okay?” asked Harry, craning his neck to spot your friends. But Ron and Hermoine were occupied with each other on the dancefloor, Seamus and Lavender were making out near the teacher’s table, Neville was busy at his bartending shift and neither Ginny nor Dean where anywhere to be seen.
“Alright,” you smiled, albeit slightly disappointed that he had only done the mandatory dance with you, especially when it was one of your favorite songs playing. With an awkward nod towards you, he hurried off in the direction of the bar to join the crowd swarming Neville for drinks. You were left standing on the edge of the dancefloor as people swayed around you elegantly.
Just when you had decided that you might as well find some place to sit and treat your disappointment with some cake, an all-too familiar voice sounded behind you. “Guess Potter finally gave up, huh?”
With a startled gasp, you whipped around. It was like magic. One moment, Harry was leaving for drinks, the next, Mattheo seemed to materialize beside you as if he’d been waiting all right for the opportunity to strike. He leaned in, close enough that you could smell the light whift of alcohol on him. His frustrated scowl from earlier had shifted into a sharp grin practically dripping with mischief. His eyes, however, were as rough and stormy as ever as they raked over your figure. “Mind if I fill in? You look a little lonely, sweetheart.”
You felt conflcited as you stared up into those brown eyes you knew so well. If you took the hand he held out to you, gave into temptation, it would be just as always: you'd both reap the benefits without committing. He’d flirt and smile and charm his ass out of actually putting his skin in the game and asking you out- just like always.
Sensing your hesitation, he sighed and dropped his hand, running it through his curls instead. For a moment, his jaw was taut with tension, then, a flirtatious grin spread across his face once more and he seemed to reset. “Well,” he drawled smoothly, stepping even closer but making no move to touch you, “Do tell me what a pretty girl like you is doing in a place like this.”
The line was so old-fashioned and cliche it sounded comical, but despite your better judgement, your body betrayed you. You could only hope that he interpreted the flush on your cheeks as a consequence of all the dancing. The way his grin widened told you that he, in fact, did not. “And most of all,” he continued, leaning in so far you could smell the faint trace of a smoke, “what loser would would leave you to the vultures like this?”
“I hope you know that you are the vulture, Mattheo,” you replied in a fruitless attempt to divert from your flusteredness. It was the damn suit he was wearing- all black with just the faintest hint of green threading through the fabric, and beneath, his white, for once unbloodied, shirt that clung to him like it was stitched to his skin. The sharp lines of his jacket, the undone top buttons of his shirt, and the way his silver rings glinted against the dark material made it almost unfair how good he looked.
A devilish grin spread across his lips when you returned his heated gaze. “Oh, I know,” he agreed humorously. “And what’s he going to do about it when I steal away his girl? When he left you all alone?”
“I’m not his girl,” you replied coolly, ignoring the way your heart started to pound. All adrenaline from the dance, you tried to convince yourself.
But the sickeningly sweet smile he gave you didn’t only prove you wrong but somehow managed to melt your resolve. “Good news for me then, sweetheart.” Again, he held out his hand for you to take. His rings caught the light, they seemed to glint like a forbidden temptation, drawing you in. Merlin, how inviting that hand looked. “Dance with me,” he muttered, face only inches from yours, his dark eyes studying yours intently, as if he could see your perseverance crumble behind them. It wasn’t a question.
You hesitated for another second, eyes darting over the crowd to find Harry. You spotted him near the bar, chatting animatedly with Ginny, the drinks long-forgotten in his hands. When you looked back at Mattheo, his eyes pierced yours with unexpected intensity that made you swallow.
You shouldn't be doing this. There were rules you had set up for yourself tonight. This was supposed to be your game, not his. But his pull was as irresistible as that of a black hole, drawing you in and clouding your senses. The slight nod you gave him was enough.
With a gentleness you that surprised you, he took your hand, his other finding its place on your lower back as he guided you onto the dancefloor. Mattheo danced differently from Harry- more confident, slower, like he wanted to take his time rather than get it over with. His hand rested lower on your waist and he was so much closer.
The world blurred around him as all you could see was him in that damn suit, all you could feel was the burning touch of his hands, all you could smell were the traces of alcohol and smoke lingering on him like a reminder of who you were dancing with. You could have closed your eyes - if looking into his wasn’t so damn magnetizing- and recognized him by touch and scent alone, would have been able to differentiate him under all the boys of Hogwarts.
His grip on you was firm, but his more fleeting touches were tender. After a few steps, he had rid himself of all stiffness and you could feel his body mold into yours in a way that made your breath hitch slightly. His index finger drew circles on your waist.
You had wanted him to crack, to drop the teasing and admit what lingered beneath the surface. But you were rendered putty in his deft hands. Now, as his fingers splayed against the small of your back, seeming to tug you closer with each smooth step, you felt the pieces of your little game shifting in his favor. It was no longer yours to control. His touch burned through the fabric of your dress, deliberate and unhurried, like he had all the time in the world to break you down.
The worst part by far was that he knew. Mattheo knew what he was doing, what power he held over you, and he wielded it like a blade wrapped in silk. His self-assured smile was like a checkmate, each wandering touch of his hands tightening the invisible thread he was weaving around you. He was spinning you in slow, deliberate circles, until you couldn’t tell whether you were chasing after him or he was already dragging you under. “Tell me, sweetheart,” he taunted you, leaning in until your temples nearly brushed. “This what you imagined when you said yes to him?”
This night had taken a tolerable turn, Mattheo thought to himself when a hint of pink dusted your cheeks and your eyes flickered away from his, well aware that he could see right through you. “I almost felt bad for him,” he smirked, “Watching him try not to trip over his own feet while you smiled through it.”
“It was sweet!” you exclaimed, feeling the need to defend Harry’s honor after you had made him a pawn in this game you were losing so miserably. “He tried his best!”
Mattheo raised his brows in mock scepticism. “Sweet? Sure, if that’s what you want to call a game of dodge the shoe.”
Recognizing a certain sharpness in his tone, you quirked your brow at him. “Jealous you didn’t get the chance to break my toes first?”
Mattheo shrugged slightly as his eyes flickered over your face, lingering for the split of a second on your lips. His pulled into a subtle grin when he noticed the way your breath came out as an airy tremble. “Jealous? Sure,” he purred, “Of your toes? Not exactly.”
His slight tap on your waist was the only sign you needed. You took the smallest of steps back and Mattheo spun you effortlessly, his hand like a firm anchor on your waist as he watched you with the kind of intensity that made your heart stumble. The room blurred around you as he twirled you back into his chest, taking a subtle step forward so your chest met his with more force than necessary. From the glint in his eyes, you knew he had done it deliberately.
“He danced like he was afraid you'd shatter if he held you too tight,” Mattheo sneered as he established a steady rhythm once more.
You gave him an unimpressed look. “Not everyone feels the need to manhandle me, Mattheo.”
Your words elicited a small chuckle from him; he seemed more light-hearted than he had at any point these last few weeks. “Maybe they aren’t up to your standards then,” he quipped back, running his thumb over your side. “Where is he off to, anyway? if he wanted to leave so badly, he could’ve handed you over to me.”
“Handed you over?” you scoffed, indignantly, and arched your brows at him. “That what I am now, some prize?”
“Don’t pout, sweetheart,” he smiled, leaning in. “You’re the one all wrapped up in silk like you’re a bloody gift.” This time, you didn’t receive a warning before both his hands dug into your sides and he lifted you up shortly, mirroring your fellow dancing pairs. You, who hadn’t seen it coming over all the whispering and being enraptured by his everything, gave a short yelp that made the grin on his face widen.
When his temple touched yours, your eyes fluttered shut and you enjoyed the moment to its fullest extent: feeling his skin on yours, the heat of his hand through your dress, his breath mingling with yours and his proximity enabling you to listen to the steady flow of his breath. The only thing that could ground you, as the ground seemed to unravel beneath your feet and all you could make out as reality rather than illusion was him. For one second of a lifetime, he was the sun you revolved around like a planet, forever stuck in its endless circles, cursed to reach out for him forever and never get to burn under his raw touch.
“I like your dress,” Mattheo muttered into the small space between your and his lips.
A small smile tugged on yours, and for this moment, all the pushing and pulling, challenging and playing, the threading of the needle, the teetering of the edge was forgotten. “Well, I like your suit too,” you mused. “You look good without all the blood.”
The chuckle seemed to get stuck in his throat, his voice a raspy whisper. “Don’t lie, sweetheart, you think I don’t know how hot you find me all bloody?” You parted just an inch or two to glare up at him, into those knowing eyes of his, restless as ever. “You’re an awful, awful person, Mattheo.” But you didn’t mean it. And he knew you didn’t.
“Oh, I know,” he purred, a grin pulling at his lips. “A right devil, aren’t I?”
“As I said,” you sighed, swaying in his arms. “A fallen angel.. Suits you though.” And if you’d stood just a few inches closer, if the music wasn’t still thrumming in your ears like an underlying growl, maybe you would have registered the way Mattheo's heart rate picked up speed at your words.
“Might want to pull away a bit, sweetheart,” he breathed without making any indication of following his own advice. “People might start to talk. And what a story that would be.”
“You dragged me onto the dancefloor, Mattheo,” you reminded him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of looking around for the stares that probably lingered on the pair of you, the same that would not subside however many times you leaned half-asleep against him during breakfast.
His grin took on a sharper edge, and you could feel in your very cells that the game was on again. “Only because you looked like you were waiting for me," he murmured lowly, causing heat to rush up into your cheeks because he made it sound like an undeniable truth. And it was.
You had nothing to retaliate, so you huffed and puffed for a few seconds before frowning up at him. “Since when have either of us cared about what other people think?”
“Oh, I certainly haven’t,” he said with the slightest air of superiority in his tone as his eyes flickered over your flushed features. Suddenly, his hand moved as he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you flush against him, making you gasp and any and all response die in your throat, your brain short-circuiting. “Tell me, sweetheart,” he drawled under his breath, lips almost brushing yours. “Did you blush for Potter like that, too, or is it just me?”
It was this moment- the moment when the overwhelming desire to crash your lips gaainst his in front of the whole school took over your thinking, when you reminded yourself that you were mad at him, actually. What he was doing right now was the same exact thing you had been mad at him for for weeks: insinuating, flirting, touching, smiling, teetering the edge but copping out of any commitment or clarifying. Pulling away felt like the hardest thing in the world, but you managed to take a step back when the band finished the last note on a dramatic edge.
For one second, the world seemed suspended between you and him, right here on the dance floor, before you blinked and clarity flooded your brain. “I need some air,” you whispered, staring into his eyes as if hypnotized before you were able to pull yourself out of your trance. Swallowing your bitter regret, you gave him one last, fleeting glance before turning and weaving into the moving bodies of your fellow dancers, moving around you like a colorful marble game, in dire need of some fresh air to clear your racing thoughts.
From the way the people shuffled behind you, you knew Mattheo was coming after you, but you didn’t turn around to check- you didn’t have to. You could feel his gaze bruning into your back, felt almost as if you could differentiate the sound of his footsteps from those of the people scurrying out of his way.
People didn’t clear the path for you as they did for him, and so you were slower as you slipped through their midst, but Mattheo made no move to catch up to you, even when he easily could have. He seemed to follow you at a deliberate, short distance as you squeezed yourself through the small gap between a group of laughing Hufflepuff boys and a group of animetedly chatting Ravencalw girls and slipped through the glass doors onto the large, thankfully empty balcony.
Beneath the castle, it’s lights were reflected in the dark lake, shimmering secretively and blinking up at you as if they were mocking you. You leaned against the stone railing, gaze fixed onto the scenery below, painted in the dark shadows of a cold winter night. Mattheo’s footsteps sounded distinctly against the stone: slow, deliberate, and steadily approaching your figure. You refused to turn to him, knowing your expression would betray your wound up state.
When he was so close you could hear his breath over the muted sounds from inside the Great Hall, his step haltered as he stopped some two feet behind you, looming between you and the warm glow of the hall like a shadow. After a short silence, in which only the rustle of wind clawing at the castle walls was to be heard, he was the first to speak up. “Didn’t take you long to run off, sweetheart,” he said, words rolling off his tongue like the purr of a predator a second away from cornering its unknowing prey. “Was it something I said?”
An unbelieving scoff left your lips and you propped your arm up on the stone railing, rubbing your hand over your temple in frustration. “It’s everything you say, Mattheo.”
Even though you couldn’t see him, it was as if you could feel the way he raised his brows at you. A frustrated huff stumbled from your lips as you glared onto the dark lake, this stupidly serene scenery. “You- you think you can just flirt and smirk your way through this like nothing in the damn world could ever touch Mattheo Riddle.”
The light chuckle resonating behind you was so damn cocky and confident as if the world would bend under the weight of his fingertips, of his very voice- and didn’t he have all the reason to? “I don’t think,” his voice sounded softly behind you, so fucking self-assured it made your blood boil. “I know.”
With a sharp, humorless laugh, you threw your hands into the air. “And there we have the problem, way to self-report!”
The sound of his steps drew nearer, clearly distinct against the contrasting silence. His voice was a hiss through gritted teeth, his flirtatious teasing replaced by the violent turmoil that had been boiling in his chest all night. “That’s the problem, yeah?” he asked sharply, leaning against the stone railing right next to you. Stubbornly, you stared onto the black mass that was the dark forest, even as he leaned in and his lips brushed over the shell of your ear. “‘cause you sure looked real cozy with your friend Potter out there.”
“You care too much about my date,” you hissed, fully aware of the hypocrisy of your words. They were meant to wound him up, like the pull down to your end was nothing but a fatalistic tide you had to give into.
The scoff seemed to be interlaced into his tone as he withdrew from your figure slightly, leaning both forearms against the railing. So close, yet so far. “Did I say I cared?” he asked into the night, voice as cold as the winter breeze chilling your bones.
At those words, you finally whipped around to face him and folded your arms over your chest. “You sure act like it,” you said quickly, defensively.
With a low chuckle, Mattheo turned to you once more, his eyes piercing yours and you knew. Knew that he saw right through every excuse, every lie, every wall. Because Mattheo, for all the good and the bad it entailed, knew you, and he knew you well. His lips curled into a smirk as he leaned in. “And you sure act like you want me to.”
“God!” you exclaimed angrily and threw your hands into the air, no outlet for your aggression other than Mattheo. But he didn’t seem much different, as he laughed under his breath and inched even closer, until his shoulder brushed yours and his breath fanned your cheeks. Your heart beat rapidly in your chest as your eyelids fluttered. It was hard to hold onto determination when he was looking at you like this, when an outright devilish smile tugged at his lips.
“You like this, don’t you?" he muttered, eyes wandering over your face to detect any hesitation, any twitch, any fleeting glimpse of emotion. “The push an’ the pull, the fight?” A sarcastic smile graced his lips when he lowered his head to yours.
“I hate it,” you lied through gritted teeth, refusing to look away from him and narrowing your eyes stubbornly.
Mattheo’s fingers curled around your wrist, his grip firm but not painful- just enough to make your pulse stutter beneath his thumb. He lifted your hand as if inspecting it, dark eyes gleaming with something wicked when he felt the frantic beat of your heart. “Then why haven’t you left yet?” he murmured, voice dripping with mockery as he raised his other hand and the pad of his finger drawing a deliberate line to your collarbone. His knuckles brushed against your neck, featherlight, before he tilted his head and let his fingertip graze the spot where your pulse hammered beneath your skin. “Why is your heart beating like it’s got something to tell me?”
You could only pray the dark concealed the heat rushing to your cheeks as your breath got stuck in your throat. His fingertips grazing your pulse, both on your neck and on your wrist, made you feel like he was simply holding all of you with little effort. Handling your very being, balancing you at the tip of his fingers. And he knew. Oh, that damn smile told you all you needed to know. He tilted his head, his gaze burning through you, scorching your resolve, and your breath came out a shudder. “You’re infuriating” -ly hot, but you didn’t tell him that, of course. “If it bothers you so much, why didn’t you just ask me out instead?”
Awaiting his answer, your heart did a Olympic-level speedrun that he, no doubt, could feel right beneath his fingertips. Mattheo’s grip on your neck tightened slightly, but he didn't say anything. His mind seemed to weigh the words, form them into a sentence. His hesitation gave you a few seconds to compose yourself, and you managed to give him a sharp glare. “What, no clever remark?” you hissed, “No teasing? Merlin, I could be dancing with Harry right now!”
The words were meant to set him off, and set him off they did. His jaw clenched and his breath came in ragged, heavy motions, chest heaving under the strain of keeping it together. “You’re really trying to piss me off now, aren’t you?” he snarled sharply, eyes still boring into yours in the most disarming way.
You felt your composure slip. Gradually, it evaded your fingertips, notwithstanding the surge of anger you felt as all the doubt, all the hesitation, the waiting and the hurt crashed down on you. “Piss you off?” you asked, furious, and fully aware that your anger and slipping self-control were playing right into his little game of cat and mouse. “I’m pissed off!” you hissed, “You only want me when you think you can’t have me!”
Surprisingly, Mattheo seemed just as wound up as you, as his hand wrapped around your wrist fully and he rolled his jaw. “And you only notice me when i’m slipping through your fingers!”
A short, mocking scoff left your throat as you glowered up at him. “Are you even hearing yourself talk right now?” you seethed, “I think I notice you plenty, especially when you pull me into your lap every other day!”
Mattheo breathed a dark chuckle and shook his head at you. “That’s rich coming from the one who insisted I sleep in one bed with her.”
You stared at him angrily, but a sudden realization clawed at your chest. It was hard to admit its existence when it was an almost painful truth, but it's claws dug into your insides, making it hard to ignore. Maybe, the creature whispered into your ear, maybe you are just as bad as him. Maybe, just maybe, you could have asked him instead. maybe, just maybe, you get it. Maybe you would feel like shit too if he had come with another girl.
His lips hovered over yours and you swallowed, looking up into the dark pools of his eyes. "Say you don’t feel it,” he said, an eerie calm laced into his tone, “Say you don’t want me and I’ll leave right now.” He had rid himself of the smirks and chuckles as if of a false costume, raw intensity brimming in his gaze as it flickered down to your lips and your breath hitched audibly.
“Mattheo-”
“There you are! I- oh.”
Both you and Mattheo whipped around at the sound of a voice- Harry’s voice, to be more exact. He was standing in the open doors leading out to the balcony, the two drinks in hand. The flush on his cheeks was only pronounced by the soft glow of the Great Hall. As soon as he gauged the situation - you and Mattheo standing so close to each other a niffler wouldn’t have fitted between you, and Mattheo holding your wrist and neck - his brows pulled into a frown. One that Mattheo matched, eyes narrowing at the intrusion, while your eyes widened, a mix of disappointment and bashfulness coiling in your stomach.
Harry turned to you, eyes flickering over to Mattheo every other millisecond like he couldn’t stop himself. “...Did I, uh- interrupt something?”
“Yes,” sneered Mattheo through gritted teeth. You, on the other hand, quickly broke free from his grasp and smoothed out your dress, your cheeks heating up with embarrassment over being caught in such a compromising position. “No,” you replied quickly, not looking at Mattheo.
Harry seemed to misinterpret your nervous squirming, glancing cautiously from you to Mattheo and back again. “Everything alright?" he asked in an undertone that could mean nothing good- one that you had heard so many times, when people asked you, apprehensively, about your friendship with Mattheo, making no effort to conceal der skepticism.
Mattheo next to you rolled his eyes and gave an impatient click of his tongue. “Relax, Potter, she’s a big girl.”
Harry’s gaze settled on you. “Is he bothering you?” he asked sharply, and you could have rolled your eyes. Harry was no stranger to your mutual affection with Mattheo, had sneered over it many times. This comment was only meant to provoke, but he concealed it with protectiveness, which made you give him a warning look.
Mattheo hummed a low laugh, but the sound had an edge to it that made Harry tense up. “Didn’t realize you were her guard dog, Potter,” Mattheo taunted him from where he was still leaning against the railing, “Should I throw you a bone?”
Before things could escalate between the two, you stepped between them, shooting Mattheo a pleading look over your shoulder. “Go, please.” For a second, something vulnerable, almost like hurt, flashed across his face, but it was quickly replaced with a mocking smile and a predatpory glint in his eyes.
When he reached out, Harry shifted, almost like he wanted to step in, and Mattheo raised an amused brow at him before taking your hand and guiding it to his lips. His lips barely grazed the back of your hand and one could only assume Theo had taught him that this was the proper way- you didn’t know where else he would have learned it but in eighteenth century courtesy books. With one last dangerously gleaming look at you, he shoved past Harry and disappeared somewhere behind the group of giggling Ravenclaw girls.
You flinched slightly when Harry nudged you and looked up at him. “You okay?” he asked, handing you your drink. With a curt nod, you took it and took a long sip that did nothing to clear your head.
“Yeah,” you said, swirling the drink absentmindedly, “Just needed some fresh air.”
“...Right. Hey, look,” Harry said, seeming a little awkward. “Do you want to dance? You seemed a little bummed earlier and…” He trailed off, awaiting your answer.
Quirking a quick smile, you nodded at him. Inside, the band strung up a new tune, quicker. “Sure. After you.”
Mattheo had had enough. As Harry pulled you back into the dancefloor, having finally overcome his sober reluctance, he distinctly felt that if he had to spend another second watching you with him, he would break something. He probably would have. Would have marched right up to Potter and smashed his face into the fucking wall for laying a hand on you, even if it was a platonic one. But the gnawing feeling of guilt stopped him from doing so.
Mattheo had never had much of a conscience worth speaking of- at leat not in his opinion. The avoidance of overly atrocious deeds had never come from within, but as influenced by the need to survive in a rigid social system. Not until he met you had he known such adoration that he would place your needs over his any day. What you deserved was more important than his bloody daydreams. And what you deserved was a fun night- with or without him.
Not that he had been the first to lay a gentler hand on you. He had never known such patience and compassion until he earned your friendship. Such unconditional care that it made you sneak down to the Slytherin dorms in the dead of night to patch him up after a fight because you knew he didn’t take care of himself properly, that he would let the wounds get scabby and turn into scars because he made his body pay for the weight his shoulders had to carry.
He’d relish your touch like a devil, latching onto any small slice of heaven he could find. He found it in your voice, the way you said his name, sometimes amused, sometimes worried, sometimes angry in a way that made him want to drop to his knees and devour you until you were a screaming mess. He found it in your touch, so gentle and never flinching away, and your eyes, the tenderness they held and the fire that burned in them. A fire he would love to burn in if it pleased you.
Mattheo didn’t even realize he was moving at first, until he bumped into Enzo, who frowned at him. “Where are you going, mate? Party’s just getting started.”
“Air,” he grunted shortly and ignored Enzo calling after him. Students shuffled aside hastily as he made his way through them, towards the entrance hall. What he needed now was you, but you were off being twirled around by Potter, so cigarettes would have to do.
Fucking hell.
His fingers slipped into his inside pocket before he had even crossed the entrance hall, where only a few snogging pairs hung around in darker corners. He slipped through the great front door and skipped several steps as he hurried down the main staircase, stopping at a lower level. Impatient fingers pulled a smoke out of his almost empty pack and he ignited it with a flick of his index finger, taking the long drag he’d been craving.
You watched him go. Saw him slipping out of the great hall, fingers already reaching for his pocket in search of one of his beloved cigarettes. You barely noticed it when the song ended and only gave a half-hearted applause, burning to go after Mattheo but unsure how to do so without coming off as rude.
“Hey,” Harry said, nudging you and pointing at something behind you, “The rest is over there. Do you want to join them?” Turning around, you spotted Hermoine, Ron, Ginny and Dean at one of the tables, laughing together.
“Go ahead,” you smiled, the urge to follow Mattheo growing ever stronger. “I’ll join you in a bit, alright?” He didn't question you, only shrugged and took off towards the table while you turned towards the entrance hall, weaving through bodies and clouds of perfume to get to him.
You found him outside, a few steps down the main staircase, leaning against the stone wall. A glowing little dot stood out to you, one that glowed brighter whenever Mattheo took a drag. Crossing your arms over your chest to provide some level of protection against the cold winter breeze, you slowly walked down the steps, heart beating faster the closer you got to him.
Mattheo looked infuriatingly good, leaning lazily against the stone wall, smoke spilling from his lips, his suit crumpled and tie loosened. A few steps away from him, you hesitated, a certain guilt gnawing at you when you saw his scrunched up brows. Your clash earlier had been all but ideal- albeit very adrenaline-inducing - and right now, you wanted nothing more than to make things right. What was important was not some yule ball, it was your friendship.
Working up the courage, you walked down the last steps. He didn’t look up and you took it as an invitation to lean against the wall next to him, a long sigh leaving your lips and clouding the chilly air shortly.
“Finally ditched the golden boy?” Mattheo asked with a casual smirk on his lips, but his eyes looked distinctly tired. Taking a long drag of his cigarette, he let smoke billow into the air before turning to you.
A nervous little smile flashed over your expression and you angled your body towards him. “Golden boys have never really been my type,” you confessed, smoothing over you dress with shaky hands.
“Yeah?” he asked, eyes sweeping your slightly trembling figure. “And what is your type?”
You took another step towards him, your shoulder brushed against his arm and neither of you moved away. The contact settled like gravity. “Certainly no smokers,” you said breathlessly.
He watched your mouth as you spoke, the corner of his lips curling upward. Taking one last drag out of his smoke, he flicked it to the ground and squashed the embers with his shoe. He shifted his weight, the toe of his shoe bumping against yours like he was testing the distance. “I’ll be finished with this then.” His stance seemed relaxed as he leaned against the wall, but the gaze in his eyes was intense as his eyes bore into yours.
When he raised his hand, it was slow, as if he was approaching a scared animal, careful not to set it off by making a rapid movement. Bringing it up to your face, his knuckles grazed your jaw, a featherlight touch, as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “If I had taken you out tonight, I wouldn’t have let you out of my sight.”
Your breath catched when his knuckles ran a line up your jaw, but you didn’t pull away. Without even realizing, you inched even closer to him, his bodywarmth bleeding trough the thin fabric of your dress. A small smile graced your lips as you tilted your head of him, but the challenge was much softer than before. “Well, I’m glad he did, or we wouldn’t be talking right now.”
The hand that had been leaving a row of goosebumps behind on your neck came up to cup your cheek as his breath fanned your face. You could taste the nicotine on your own tongue as your lips parted slightly, as if on instinct. His fingers trailed over the curve of your wrist, idly tracing circles like he was trying to learn your heartbeat by touch. “He doesn’t deserve you,” he said, voice a low rasp.
A frown pulled at your brows, but you had half a mind to ease it with a smile. “And you do?” you asked, trying to grasp what “deserving” meant to him.
But he didn’t return your smile, more serious than you’d seen him all night as he tilted your chin up. “I’d ruin myself trying.”
His forehead came to rest against yours, as if he needed the grounding touch, and you leaned up into him, reciprocating the gesture. Your brain seemed to be a droning mass of nothing, taking up too much space in your head. He muttered something under his breath, a curse, chest heaving just as much as yours. His lips hovered over yours, the space between you charged, every second stretching into eternity. “Say the word,” he muttered, “and I’ll make sure you never think about him again.”
It was the most natural thing to you as your eyes fluttered shut and your hands fisted his shirt- how had they even got there?
“Please.”
Before you could gauge the impact of that one small word, he crashed his mouth against yours, all teeth and desperation, like he had been starving for this. And you had been, too. It was as if a deep craving was finally fulfilled as you kissed him back, barely managing to keep up with the rough movements of his lips. The afteratste of nicotine settled on your tongue, but you couldn’t bring yourself to mind. His hands gripped your waist, fingers digging in, like he needed to anchor himself or he might lose control. They tugged you closer, impossibly close, as if he wants to erase any space that dares exist between you.
His lips moved with bruising intensity against yours and you sighed against them, making him growl. “M- mattheo,” you whispered in between kisses, his name but a breathless plea making his grip tighten on your waist. “I’ve -fuck- I’ve wanted this for so long.”
He cursed against your lips, fingers gripping fistfuls of your dress as if he meant to tear it off you. “Fuck, sweetheart, don’t say stuff like that-” His hands started to roam, one gripping the back of your neck to tilt your head into his desired angle, the other running down your side and latching onto your thigh.
You squeaked against him when he lifted it to wrap your leg around his waits, slotting his hips into the place between your legs. A sudden mewl left your throat and he swallowed it up as if it was the sweetest nectar. The way your body sank into his went to his head, your trust made his ears rush as his fingers curled into the flesh of your thigh. He wanted to break you, yes- but so much more, he wanted to love you.
“Always wanted this, I’ve always wanted you, sweetheart,” he whispered against you, lips wandering down to latch onto your neck.
“If you wanted to have me,” you said, rendered utterly breathless under his teasing touches and experienced lips, “all you ever had to do was ask.”
He groaned against your mouth, the sound rough and guttural, as if kissing you physically hurt and healed all at once. “Fuck, sweetheart,” Mattheo cursed, his lips crashing back onto yours as your breath hitched. He kissed you like he was angry at you, like every push and pull of your lips was part of some unresolved fight he never wanted to win.
You squealed softly when he bit your lower lip, sharp and fleeting, then soothed the sting with a flick of his tongue. His fingers curled into your hair, tugging just enough to tilt your head, demanding more. His thumb traced your jaw, a fleeting tenderness that contrasted the way he devoured your mouth. He pulled away for a split second, forehead pressed to yours, voice wrecked when he muttered, “You drive me insane.” -before kissing you even harder.
“Why?” you whined in between kisses, hands running over his chest in search for any kind of support. “Why didn’t you ask me? I-” Another kiss of his shut you right up and you kissed him back with ferocity, mumbling in between his ministrations, “I was hoping you would, I wanted you this- h- hah - this whole time.”
“Sorry, sorry,” he mumblked hastily against your lips, his hands slipping into your hair and tugging to angle your head up at him. “Fuck, ‘m really sorry, sweetheart, that you had to resort to that fucking idiot.”
“‘S fine,” you slurred, your brain completely shutting down when the hand on your thigh slipped under your dress and traced a line up your bare skin, “Harry’s a friend and I like him just fine, but-” The way he fisted your dress in his hands and pulled you flush against you had the words die on your tongue as you felt something hard press against your core.
Shit.
“Say his name one more time and I’ll have mine engraved right about here,” he muttered threateningly, his digits drawing circles on your inner thigh and a pathetic whine left your throat, swallowed up by his eager lips. “Fuck, sweetheart,” he murmured, rolling his hips and making your breath hitch, your knees growing wobbly, “I’ll make sure it’s my name you’ll be screaming tonight.”
“Oh God, Mattheo-” you mewled loudly, thankful for the muffliato charm you’d cast on the door of the empty classroom Mattheo had dragged you into, “It hurts!”
But Mattheo seemed to have little regard for your words, his fingers pistoning in and out of your squelshing cunt as he chuckled against your lips. He had you perched ontop of one of the desks, fingers knuckle deep in your pussy and his lips painting your neck like a canvas. Trembling helplessly in his hold, your second orgasm washed over you like a tidal wave as the overstimulation became almost unbearable and you squeezed your eyes shut.
“Oh, does it?” he mocked, false pity laced into his tone as he bit down hard on your neck, making you squeal. His thumb drew circles on your clit and your thighs shook, your hand spushing weakly at his chest. White hot pleasure shot through you, making your cunt clench painfully around his fingers. And there he was, smiling down on you as you completely unraveled in his hold, as your eyes rolled back into your head and your body slumped against his, whimpers of his name falling from your kiss-bitten lips. Yeah, this was how he had imagined the night to go.
“P- please,” you whimpered, fisting his shirt as you squirmed to escape his unrelenting fingers- and finally, finally he had mercy on you, swiping one last finger over your overstimulated clit and pulling you flush against him as his fingers, covered in your slit, brushed over your bruised lips.
“C'mon, sweetheart,” he smirked evilly, “Don’t tell me you’re tired yet?”
A shake of your head was enough for him as he flipped you around onto your belly, bending you over the desk. You could hear a metallic clinking sound and rocked your hips back against him, anticipation curling in your stomach. You’d heard- often to your own dismay - the stories of the girls he’d been with, envying them as you listened to their colorful tales- but now you were on the receiving end of his touches, his kisses, his cock that slapped against your folds in a way that made you jolt against the hard wood of the desk.
“Mattheo,” you breathed, unsure whether it was a plead or a demand. Whatever it was, he seemed all to eager to comply, his hands tightening on your waist. His cockhead was first, slowly pushing through your folds. With a gutteral groan, he slumped against you, fingers digging into your hips so hard you were sure they would leave bruises.
“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re tight,” he cursed, overcome by the overwhelming urge to rut into you like some animal, to take you raw, make you his completely until you writhed and screamed under him. But he knew he had to take it slower with you- despite all the teasing, you were his precious princess, his best friend, the only one who'd ever loved him unconditionally. And dear god was he going to pay you back.
“Doing real good,” he murmured huskily as you twitched beneath him, hips wiggling as you tried to adjust to his size in a way that didn’t help his restraint in the slightest. You yelped when he delivered a sudden slap to your ass, immediately soothing it over by rubbing gentle circles over it. “Stop squirming, sweetheart,” he growled, leaning over you as he pushed further in, relishing very inch. “Or I might just lose myself.”
“S- sorry,” you apologized so sweetly he could have devoured you then and there. But for once, he could be a man of patience. “A- are you fully in yet?” you asked shyly, looking up at him over your shoulder.
A strained sounding chuckle fell from his lips. “Not even halfway in. Want me to stop?” You shook your head rapidly, though his girth provided your walls with a painful sting. Instead, your fingers curled around the edge of your desk as you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to relax. “You're doing so good, sweetheart,” he groaned huskily against your ear as he leaned over you, slowly sliding another inch in. “Taking me so well.”
A breathless little mewl left your throat and he laughed under his breath, trying to keep his restrain from snapping with the way your warm walls hugged him, drew him in. “Relax f’ me, will you?” he asked, more softly, pressing kisses along your shoulder and onto your earlobe. “Breathe through it, that’s right,” he praised as you tried to relax your muscles around his cock and took slow, though trembling, breaths.
When he finally bottomed out, a gasp for air left your throat and he nearly whined at the feeling of your tight walls clenching around him. Fuck, like you were made for him. Mattheo started moving, slowly, sensually, as his lips whispered praises and confessions into your ear, only half of which you actually registered as your brain grew impossibly fuzzier.
When you breathed a shallow moan, the sting slowly turning pleasurable, his lips latched onto your neck, sucking hard. “Yer trying to kill me, aren’t you?” he asked, slowly rocking his hips against yours. “Feel so good, sweetheart, like you were made f’me.”
You moaned helplessly under him as he kept on talking, meeting his hips and moving yours in the same rhythm. “Always wanted this,” he murmured against your shoulder, his movements steadily growing more intense. He pulled out fully and sunk back in again, making both of you release strangled moans as your hands desperately tried to support yourself against the desk.
“Could barely hold myself back sometimes,” he rasped into your ear as you could feel the pleasure building in your core, his words not helping the mist in your mind. “Dreamed of it, y’know?” When he pulled out tis time, he plunged his cock back in harshly, baking you choke on the moans spilling from your lips. “I knew it was wrong that I rutted into my own fist, thinking about having you exactly like this. Fuck, it was wrong, knew you were way too good for me, but look at you now…”
His hips grew more feverish as they slammed into yours, pleasure and pain coiling in your lower belly as you mewled his name and you could feel him twitch inside you. a string of curses left his lips, and his fingers tug into your waist to ram your hips against his, matching his speed. “Hated seeing you with Potter tonight,” he spat, “Hated seeing his hands on you- god, you have no idea what i would’ve done to him if you hadn’t been there.”
A low growl of a chuckle left his throat and you shivered at the sound, pushing your hips back into his in desperate need for relief. His words had heat pool down, had your walls clench, and he let out a string of curses in return. “Tell me, sweetheart,” he panted, ruthlessly rocking your hips back into his, “Would you let him see you like this? How ‘bout I stuff you so full with cum he can see it run down your thighs tomorrow, how’d you like that? What if he were here right now, huh? Bet he’d love this, wouldn’t he? Bet he’d try to get himself off to the sight of what he can’t have.”
When your thighs started shaking and his name left your lips in a mindless string of moans, he straight up flipped you over, plunging his cock back into you before you could even realize what was happening. You yelped when he threw your legs over his shoulders and your eyes rolled back into your skull as his cock hit spots you hadn’t even known existed. Desperate for some kind of support, you grabbed his shoulders with shaky fingers as you completely unraveled under him- and he drank it in.
Your moans were like music to his ears, touching you was a special kind of heaven. And when your face scrunched up and your thighs shook, when your high hit you like a truck, in spite of his roughness, he interlaced your fingers with his, pinning them above your head and chasing his own high as you fell apart on his cock. “Good fucking girl,” he growled against your ear as you spasmed in his hold.
When the white-hot pleasure suring through you slowly stopped obstructing your field of vision, as you felt yourself come down from your high, you could hear his raw grunts and curses next to your ear as he chased his own high. As he felt his own release approaching, Mattheo pulled out and emptied himself all over your stomach. He stood above you, panting and watching it drip down the round of your belly, marking you as his.
Mabe he’d said that out loud, because you giggled with post-orgasmic bliss. “You’re such a dog, Mattheo!” With a smirk, he slipped your thighs off his shoulders, seeming entirely self-satisfied as he leaned down to press another, more tender kiss onto your lips.
When he parted from you, his eyes held a certain softness that was reserved for moments of quiet comfort between you two, when you’d sit in his bed, hold him in your lap and let him rant about it all- his father, his legacy, this school, the world. But it was all so far away from here. From this classroom, where he held you, where he looked at you as if he’d never seen something so precious, so worth protecting.
Dipping down, he started nibbling on your neck contently, no doubt adding more obvious signs of wreckage than he had already. But you couldn’t think about the consequences, about the stares you’d get tomorrow, no matter how much makeup you slapped onto your neck. Because his voice was rumbling low, next to your ear, as his nose nudged yours. “Wanna be my girlfriend, sweetheart?” And you nodded rapidly, barely able to control the grin tugging at your lips.
Completely out of breath, you slumped against him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. His smell was so utterly comforting, the feeling of his chest rising and falling against yours as he, too, slowly recovered from his high. The exhaustion weigh heavy on your bones as you looked up into his brown eyes, reflecting the moonlight that spilled through the window. “Seeing as my ability to walk is probably impaired- will you carry me down to your dorm or do I have to ask Harry?”
The way Mattheo’s eyes glinted dangerously at the words was a promise that the night was far from over.
-> not only is mattheo too late to ask you out to the yule ball, you're going with harry potter of all people. now, his best friend is going to the ball with his nemesis and he has some feelings about it.
-> mattheo riddle x bsf! reader; part a; sfw; wc: 13k; cw: suggestive, mentions of violence; tags: friends to lovers, yule ball setup; again I wasn't able to tag everyone, sorry :(
( masterlist )
There were many who would call Mattheo Riddle crazy. A bloodthirsty maniac, who couldn’t be bothered to feel attachment, or fear, or any normal human emotion for that matter. A psychopath who would snap on a whim and held an iron grip on the school when he wanted to.
But you had never been able to see him the way other people did, never could relate the picture the whispers and rumors painted to the man who was currently breathing down your neck. His nose ran down your skin and you could feel his boredom on your fingertips as he leaned his forehead against the back of your neck. His knee rocked unsteadily under you, making the thigh you had slung over his bounce up and down almost indiscernibly in return.
“Have you heard that Susan Bones is going with one of our house?” asked Pansy through the chatter surrounding you, widening her eyes dramatically. “Susan Bones. And a Slytherin. Merlin, I didn’t think I’d see the day, they must have the same freaky kinks or something to make that match work.”
Blaise’s laughter echoed off the stone walls of the dungeons. The Slytherin common room was painted in its usual emerald glow. It flickered across the tapestry showing scenes of a medieval wedding tonight. Only after spending more time with Pansy and the boys in your fifth year, and after weeks of hanging around with them in their common room, had you noticed that the tapestry kept changing its motif and scenery. Low chatter and conversation filled the space as groups of students were huddled around couches or desks, studying or talking, some of them reading by themselves. It wasn’t as busy as your common room, nor was it as loud, and you quite enjoyed the calmer atmosphere.
You sat comfortably on Mattheo’s lap, his arm draped lazily around your waist, fingers absentmindedly tracing circles on the fabric of your uniform skirt. It wasn’t unusual- your friendship with you-know-who’s son was quite affectionate, filled with easy touches and stolen warmth, a silent understanding of physical proximity neither of you ever questioned. But tonight, something felt different. His grip was a little tighter, his body a little tenser beneath yours, his usual sharp, sarcastic remarks replaced with a brooding silence as the others discussed the upcoming Yule Ball.
“I think I’d say yes to Diggory, if he asked,” Pansy mused, twirling a strand of dark hair between her fingers and quirking an evil little smirk at Blaise’s frown. “He’s got that whole golden-boy thing going on.”
Mattheo scoffed under his breath and you felt the brush of puffed-out air tingling the skin of your neck, his hand tightening slightly on your hip. “Golden-boy thing is just another way of saying boring.” His tone was clipped, disinterested, but you could still feel the way his legs bounced slightly beneath you, a tell-tale sign of his agitation. He’d been in a foul mood all day, propelling anyone near him or passing him in the corridors into a constant state of nervousness and vigilance.
As you thought back, you guessed his bad mood must have started back when Professor McGonnagall had announced the ball, halfway into december, and you felt your lips twitch at the thought that Mattheo Riddle might shy away from a dance. You shifted slightly in his lap, turning to look at him with a raised brow. “What’s got your robes in a twist?” you teased brazenly, delivering a playful nudge to his shoulder.
But instead of smirking back at you like he usually would, he simply huffed, gaze flickering away. “I just don’t see why any of you care so much,” he muttered. “It’s just a bloody dance.”
“And you call me a spoilsport,” huffed Theo next to the two of you, balancing a book in his lap. His eyes met yours and his lips curled into a mocking smile as they flickered back to Mattheo. Theo and you were probably his best friends- as well as the only ones who would ever tell him off for something. For good reason. Because the two of you were also, with high probability, the only ones Mattheo would never seriously hurt.
“Shut it, Nott,” mumbled Mattheo warningly and Theo shrugged, turning a page in his book.
Your body was still turned to Mattheo when Draco’s drawling voice spoke up. He was lounging in the best seat by the fire with an air of superiority. “I don’t know about you all,” he said uppishly, “But I already have a date for the Ball.”
“Really?” Pansy asked in surprise and shot up from where she was leaning against Blaise. Her eyes glinted at the prospect of being the first one to receive the newest gossip. Half the reason she was so excited for the Yule Ball had to be watching all the drama unfold. Having a front-row seat and sipping her red wine when the screaming matches and tearful breakups would start.
“Who are you going with?” asked Enzo, interested, from his place at the far end of the couch. He himself had already gotten three invitations to the Ball that day, all from very flustered looking, younger girls, and had to decline all of them with an apologetic smile, later complaining about it to his friends. And of course, you had all diligently listened to his woes before smacking him over the head with a pillow for being such a damn loverboy. And watching him shuffle his curls back into place.
“Daphne,” revealed Draco in a superior tone, watching his nails in feigned disinterest.
But Pansy sucked a loud breath in through her lips and gripped Blaises thigh so hard he let out a low noise of complaint. She ignored him, a predatory smile on his face. “Did you ask her or did she ask you?”
“Does that matter?” scoffed Draco lazily, but there was a very faint tint of pink on his pale cheeks. His displeased frown flickered over Pansy, Enzo, Blaise and you as you all started laughing. Mumbling something indiscernible, he pretended to be interested in the tapestry above, making Pansy bend forward with giggles.
“What about you, Pans?” you asked when she had calmed down and slumped back into Blaise, your eyes wandering back and forth between them. “Do you already know who you’re going with?”
With a secretive smile, Pansy shrugged but splayed a thigh over Blaise’s leg. Her manicured nails traced a line up his knee as she winked at you. “Who knows?” Her eyes flickered between you and the disgruntled looking Mattheo currently resting his chin on your shoulder and glaring into the emerald fire. “What about you?”
At the question, Mattheo’s hold on your waist stiffened. His fingers, that had been drawing lazy circles on your hip, suddenly stilled, pressing just a fraction harder into the fabric of your skirt. On your shoulder, you felt his jaw tense, a muscle ticking as he shifted slightly beneath you, his leg bouncing once more before he forced it to stop. Though he kept his gaze trained on the fire, his grip on you didn’t falter.
Normally, he held you like this when he had to somehow ground himself, threatening to lose himself in a whirlwind of anger and stress, moments before either jumping another student or being dragged off by you or Theo. But there was no one here that might have attracted his hate, and your brows scrunched up in a frown he couldn’t see. Anyone else might’ve missed the way his fingers flexed or how his breath grew just slightly uneven, but you felt it- every small, quiet reaction that betrayed his indifference.
Something about this Ball seemed to agitate him, and you placed a warm hand on his thigh to draw careful circles on it, in the hopes of appeasing whatever it was that fueled his bitter temperament.
“No plans,” you answered, as casually as possible. In truth, you had been hoping for Mattheo to ask you ever since the announcement. You had had a giant crush on him for months now, one that you sometimes thought he reciprocated, when his touch would grow a little to intimate, his face inch a little too close, his dark promises a little too sincere to be considered platonic. This was the downside to your rather touchy friendship, the fact that there was no clear line to cross, that you could never be sure.
Holding onto hope, you’d declined Harry’s invitation a few days before, still dreaming that he could feel the same about you, as Pansy constantly assured you. But if he didn’t ask you today… Glancing back at him carefully, you only caught half his face in your field of vision, but it showed no emotion. It was still hardened with the earlier tension, not a muscle twitching, not even a small look back at you.
Enzo leaned forwards slightly, propping his arms up on his knees and giving you a sly grin. “I heard Pucey’s thinking about asking you,” he insinuated, brows wiggling suggestively.
Before you could answer, Mattheo’s voices sounded against your neck, his chin still propped up on your shoulder. “Pucey can go fuck himself.” It was a low, dangerous sound and the group fell silent for a few seconds.
Something like excitement curled into your stomach, until you realized with a pang of disappointment that Mattheo’s disapproval of Pucey reached far deeper than some Ball. He was always raving and raging about him when he returned from his Quidditch practices, and made you card your hands through his curls until he considered himself appeased. Naturally, he wouldn’t want one of his best friends going out with his least favorite housemate. Naturally. Platonically. Disappointingly.
Pansy was the first one to speak again, the grin had found its way back onto her face as she turned to you once more. “So, that’s the verdict then, love? No secret admirers to swipe you away to the night of your life?”
She jiggled her brows suggestively, biting down on her bottom lip in a not so subtle way that made you chuckle and shake your head at her. Raising your hands in mock surrender, you leaned back into Mattheo whose chest seemed to be rising and falling a bit faster as he glared at Pansy. “No secret admirers that I know of.”
A low scoff sounded behind you, as Mattheo seemed much more eager to join the conversation than during the last half hour. “They wouldn’t be very secret if they knew what was good for them.”
Merlin, sometimes you wished he would talk more like your friend and less like… well, whatever this was. But his brows were furrowed so beautifully you could barely think about the implications of his words, or the way Pansy shrunk back instinctively at the look he was giving her, fingers curling around your thigh. Otherwise, you’d surely have scolded him for scowling at her like that.
Blaise hummed, rubbing circles on Pansy’s back and giving you a sly look. “You should go with someone … unexpected,” he suggested, mocking a thoughtful tone and expression, “Shake things up, y’know? Maybe you could release Enzo from his misery. Gryffindor Miss perfect with a Slytherin pureblood, story writes itself, doesn’t it?” You could hear his voice was meant to provoke, just who you weren’t sure. Because you merely laughed at the clearly unserious idea.
But over the amused look you shared with Pansy, you missed the way Enzo widened panicked eyes at Blaise as if he’d just thrown him under the bus, as well as the way Mattheo pulled you depper into his lap. You followed the urge subconsciously and leaned your head against his, still grinning. “Someone shocking, you say?” you picked up his statement, careful not to be too obvious, “Like who? Apart from poor Enzo, I mean.”
“Not fucking Pucey, that’s for sure,” said Mattheo under his breath and you bit down on your tongue, swallowing your disappointment. Pansy threw you a knowing look that you pretended not to see. You were being absolutely ridiculous.
A long, dramatically exasperated sigh came from the armchair near the fire were Draco was still sprawled out, toying with a loose strand of the leather cushions. “You could always go with Mattheo,” he suggested what you hadn’t had the guts to- quite ironic though it was; and ran his eyes over your intertwined figures. “Since you two can’t seem to spend five minutes apart anyway.”
In an attempt to overplay your flusteredness that he had brought it up, just said it out loud, while you were seated in Mattheo’s lap no less and one of his hands dipped under your shirt to bury itself in the meat of your tummy, you chuckled and scratched the back of your neck. Craning your head around, you smiled humorously at your friend. “What, and boost his ego even more?”
For the first time in a while, an actual grin finally played around his lips again as he kneaded the flesh of your belly, throwing you a challenging look. “You love my ego.”
Because one couldn’t simply lie to Mattheo without him knowing, you turned away with a laugh instead of answering his question. Joining in, Pansy watched the outline of Mattheo’s fingers against your shirt and smirked. Her glance back up at him was a silent promise not to let the topic go so easily, and he rolled his eyes at her behind your back.
“You do have standards, right?” asked Blaise lazily, passing around a bar of dark chocolate and shuffling around on the sofa to put his head in Pansy’s lap, who raised her brow but didn’t throw him off. Instead, she returned her attention to you.
“You should definitely go with someone who can actually dance,” she said, smirking.
You nudged Mattheo in the side, not catching the look in his eyes as they snapped up to your bright face. “So, not Mattheo then?”
Suddenly, his body seemed on alert again, no longer leaning against the cushions as his lips seemed to hover somewhere near your ear. If it was any indication, his breath fanned your earlobe and you had to suppress a shiver as his voice sounded low, next to your ear. “You don’t even know what I can do, sweetheart.”
Ah. Sweetheart. Damn the way your insides were curling with the way the nickname rolled off his tongue so smoothly. Mattheo had tried out many of those before settling on sweetheart, for some reason. You had loved every single one, from doll to darling to princess, but for some reason, Mattheo had decided that sweetheart was around to stay. So, now you were his sweetheart. In any sense but the literal one.
“Well,” said Enzo, carefully examining Mattheo, as if gauging if he was in a mood to be reasoned with. Not that he had to worry, Enzo was probably the fastest runner out of your friend group, always the least likely to get in trouble for a brawl or altercation because he was the first who disappeared from the scene of the crime, even before the teachers showed up, keeping him his prefect’s badge. “I heard something through the grapevine the other day-”
You believed to know what was coming now and your eyes widened as you shook your head at him. But Pansy leaned forwards eagerly, ignoring Blaise’s protests. “Go on!”
“Ah,” said Enzo, clearly deriving some sort of pleasure from having everyone hang onto his every word. “You see, some little birdie told me you had been asked out by Potter.”
Closing your eyes, you let the round of jeers and whistles that swept the others wash over you and buried your face in your hands, burning with embarrassment. When you looked up again, you met the eyes of five attentive listeners, eager to hear your side of the story. Even Theo had marked his page with an index finger and raised a brow at you expectantly. Only Mattheo was eerily still beneath you, his fingers having halted all movement.
“How do you get all this information?” you asked Enzo incredulously, rubbing the back of your neck again and trying to deflect from the fact he had just dropped- knowing nothing would fulfill your friends’ curiosity but your explanation.
“I have my sources,” said Enzo secretively and tapped his fingers against each other, watching you over them. “And it seems like they’re reliable.”
“You’re not- you know- going with him?” asked Pansy in an almost disgusted voice and you frowned at her. “I declined. But even if I didn’t, what would be wrong with that? He’s my friend after all.”
Your friends fell silent, probably swallowing down a round of insult they would gladly chat about once you were gone. Thinking of which, your eyes snapped to the clock above the fireplace and you jolted a bit when you saw the time. Before Pansy could open her mouth to ask you another question, you interrupted her. “Alright, this has been fun, but I’m leaving before this conversation gets worse- or before Filch starts patrolling the corridors.”
As you shifted to get up from his lap, Mattheo’s arm around your waist tightened instinctively, his fingers pressing into your side just enough to make you hesitate. You pushed against his chest lightly, but he didn’t budge, his grip lazy yet firm- like he wasn’t quite ready to let you go. Or, perhaps, punishing you, for being asked out by Harry.
“Mattheo,” you murmured, half amused, half embarrassed because all your friends were watching with teasing eyes and matching grins.
But he only smirked, his dark eyes flickering up to yours with a glint of something unreadable. “What?” he drawled, feigning innocence even as his hold on you lingered, burning against your skin. It took another small shove- this time with a bit more force behind it- for him to finally release you, his hands dragging down your sides as you slipped free, leaving behind a warmth that made your skin tingle even long after you stood.
“Yeah,” said Theo slowly, tapping his fingers against the back of his book as his eyes lingered on Mattheo, who was now looking at you in a way that made it quite difficult for you to move your feet in the right direction- and steadily at that. “You better go before Mattheo combusts.”
Mattheo rolled his eyes at Theo, though his gaze was still firmly locked on you. “Yeah, wouldn’t want to ruin the fun.”
With a light-hearted giggle, you pushed past the sofas and armchairs and waved them goodbye, earning a round of “Good night”s and “Have fun with the lions” in return. As your figure disappeared in the common room entrance, Mattheo's eyes lingered on the wall sealing itself again, as if you were still standing there.
“Well, that was painful,” commented Theo, leaning back against the cushions and glancing over at his best mate. “Watching you struggling not to show how much you care who she goes with.”
“I don’t,” the other lied, knowing it was in vain when he saw the devilish smirk spread on Pansy’s face. “You know, for someone who doesn’t care,” she emphasized the last words sarcastically, “you sure grabbed her like she was yours.”
You were. Feeling annoyed at the lot of them and knowing he would be subjected to a great deal of teasing until Theo’s desire for a smoke reached the level of his, Mattheo leaned back against the couch and rolled his eyes, trying not to focus his mind on the memory of you flush against him- right where he liked you best. “She was already sitting there. What, you wanted me to throw her off?,” he snarled back, glaring at one of the portraits to avoid Pansy’s raised brows. When it came to affairs of romance, she was surprisingly sharp. No wonder she seemed to know how much he fucking adored you.
Next to him, Theo coughed a false, ironic cough and Mattheo knew he couldn’t expect any support from that side either. “Mate, your hand was on her hip like you were staking a claim,” Theo drawled, giving him a smug look that Mattheo returned, unimpressed. “You want me to put my hand on your hip instead?”
“Dios mio, no,” replied Theo under his breath, reopening his book but still actively listening to the conversation unfolding.
Again, it was Pansy who broke the silence with a daring grin, crooking her head at Mattheo. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re mad she hasn’t asked you to the ball yet.”
“You know,” Enzo piqued up now, smiling casually in the knowledge that he was on the winning side in this. “If you asked her nicely, maybe she’d go out with you.”
Leaning forwards, Mattheo gave him a sardonic smile, sneering, “Oh right.” His tone was mocking, exaggerated. “‘Please, love of my life, light of my existence, will you attend the stupidest event of the year with me?'” He did his best to sound nonchalant, as if the mere idea of asking you out on a date was absurd and not the subject of his more innocent daydreams.
But irony could only do so much to conceal how much he really meant the words, how they opened the door to a path to his deepest, darkest desires that he would rather not open right now. No, he preferred to visit those darker corridors of his sacreligious existence when he was alone, in his dorm, shame and excitement curling in his chest as he imagined you how he could never have you. Where nobody could see just how much you meant to him.
Draco let out a scoff from his place by the fire and everyone turned towards him instead. “Imagine if she said yes to Potter,” he said, expression morphing into one of disgust. “Imagine them slow dancing.” Mattheo, who knew exactly what purpose hid behind those carefully chosen words, couldn’t help but tightening his jaw at the idea, the image. If he hadn’t hated Potter enough already, the idea itself would have done it.
“Imagine me hexing you into next week,” he growled at Malfoym who fell silent immediately, but earned himself an appraising nod from Pansy.
“What if she actually did go with Potter though?” Blaise pried further, smirking up at him from where his head rested in Pansy’s lap.
Mattheo felt his patience undeniably tested, fingers flexing against his tense legs as one of them started to bounce restlessly. Merlin, how he could have smashed Blaise’s stupid, grinning face into this stupid, grinning portrait to make them both stop mocking him. But that would prove all of them right, and maybe he didn’t even want to admit to himself how much the image bothered him, how much it made him want to storm up to Gryffindor tower to eliminate the threat himself. “Then Hogwarts would need a new chosen one,” he gruffed out, voice low as his fingers itched for a cigarette.
The topic of you and your friendship had been one of great interest these past few months, ever since it had become normal for you to rest on each other's lap, run your fingers through each other's hair or sleep over in each other’s dorm. It had raised more than a few eyebrows, but Mattheo had always smirked them away, relishing in showing you off. This loose but ever-present claim he had on you, that made him feel perfectly entitled to stare down any boy you crossed when walking through the halls with him, it had been enough for him.
Up until now, it seemed. When they had gotten brazen enough to think that they could dare ask out his girl. Only that you weren’t, he had to remind himself. No matter how often he touched you, it wouldn’t make you his, properly, until he worked up the courage to ask you. But there was just one problem: himself. And the danger he put you in by making you something more than a friend.
“What makes you think I even want to go out with her?” he asked roughly, brows scrunched up in a bitter frown and aching for something to soothe his nerves. You would have been ideal, but alas, you were gone and he needed another, a lesser fix. When he glanced up, he was met with four pairs of raised brows, as his friends all stared at him incredulously.
“Mate,” said Enzo in a voice that suggested he was trying to reason with him. “You just had her in your lap. You glare at any guy who even looks at her. You beat up Zacharias Smith when he stood her up so bad he had to spend the holiday in St. Mungos, and the only reason you weren’t charged with something was because you literally threatened to kill him if he spoke to someone about it.”
Mattheo glowered at the ground, conflicting emotions clawing at his chest, desperate for release. He felt it again. The whirlwind of his own self, all-consuming, unstoppable, but by the your touch, the sound of your voice. When he felt like he was hovering with one foot over the abyss, threatening to be swept up by the confusing storm raging against the confines of his body, you were the only one able to reach him, reach out to him, calm his whirling thoughts, his flaring temper.
No wonder Enzo always ran for you whenever it looked like he was about to start a fight. He knew how utterly disarmed he was when you looked at him with those pretty wide eyes of yours. How your worry extinguished any and all rage inside him, making something else entirely pulse in his chest.
“Can’t I be a good friend?” he asked, sarcastically. But he knew the charade wasn’t fooling anyone anymore. Hell, it was not even fooling himself.
Pansy’s voice sounded surprisingly genuine, the teasing, though still present, taking a backseat to a hesitant reaching out. “Well, I think she would like you better as her boyfriend.”
Not wanting to even acknowledge the sincerity of the words, allow himself to think of the real possibility, get his damn hopes up only to get them squashed down again, he sniggered mockingly at her, a contemptuous smile dancing around his lips. Detached. “Well, I think she would have given some sort of indicator or signal if she felt that way.”
A stunned silence followed as all of them, even Theo, seemed completely taken aback. Pansy and Blaise shared an is he actually being serious right now sort of look and Enzo blinked, perplexedly, at his friend. All of them, completely stupefied with the blatant ignorance of the both of you. They had taken you to be oblivious because of some vague romantic insecurity, but Mattheo could usually be trusted to be quite observant, especially when it came down to you. His friends tended to tease him for being so much of a guard dog, having developed some kind of sixth sense for boys looking at you with greedy eyes and how he would press a quick goodbye kiss to your temple before excusing himself to go and sort them out.
But here he was, being so utterly oblivious to the way you clearly reciprocated his affections- how you would barely manage to conceal your blushing, how your eyes would linger on him, how you would stare at him lovingly when lost in thought, how he would always be your very first priority, how you would drop everything you were doing to come help him, even if it was about something some would consider utterly meaningless.
But alas, his ignorance seemed to match yours, and they had to sit and watch, growing ever more frustrated with the way you pined and yearned for each other without ever getting a fucking move on.
Theo was the first to break the silence, brow raised at Mattheo who still stubbornly glared at te ground. “So, what’s the plan? Keep glaring at every guy who looks at her until she magically realizes you’re in love with her?”
He had dropped the magic word. the l-word, that would never make it past Mattheo’s lips and could barely enter his thoughts, as if it was a trigger. Any time he heard it, he cringed involuntarily. But he was too tired of this day and this damn converssation to correct him. “Worked out so far,” he shrugged.
Theo rolled his eyes at him, and from the way his fingers twitched agitatedly against the bookcase, Mattheo knew he was just as eager for a smoke as him, meaning he would provide him with a way out of this fucking therapy session in under five minutes. The guy was just as addicted to nicotine as he was. “And how would you feel about it if someone asks her out tomorrow who she wouldn't be so quick to decline. How would you feel about it when she turns up to the ball with someone other than you?”
Nothing, was what he meant to say. But the words didn’t make it past his lips. They were chocked by the image of you, hanging onto another guy’s arm, laughing for another guy, dancing with another guy. Something dangerous coiled in his stomach, like a snake, ready to attack but with no one to sink its teeth into but himself.
“Fucking hell,” he cursed darkly, his fists clenched so hard his knuckles were plain white, close to cracking, or so it seemed to him.
Theo nodded appreciatively, rising from his seat as Mattheo followed, running a calloused and shaky hand over his face. “You know what to do then.”
When you pushed open the portrait of the Fat Lady, you were greeted with a warmth both the Slytherin common room and the halls of Hogwarts had been missing. Loud chattering and laughter filled the room, the figures of many Gryffindor students in the golden hue of the cackling fireplaces. Where Slytherin’s common room was undeniably more stylish and sophisticated, your common room was just cozy.
You spotted your friends sitting by the fire, having snatched the best sofa for themselves. Hermoine seemed to be working on an essay, Ginny’s nose was buried in her book, and over the rim of the worn out cushions, you spotted the heads of Harry and Ron, setting on the carpeted floor between sofa and fireplace. Walking over to them, you let your bag down with a thud that made some of them turn their heads and smile in greeting, though you could see the light frowns on some of their faces.
They were equally as unpleased about your friendship with their Slytherin peers as they were about your Gryffindor housemates. Really, it was only natural, seeing as the two groups had a history of picking petty fights with each other and landing the others in the hospital wing. At least some of them held their frustration with the others back for the quidditch pitch, but the same couldn’t be said for all of them.
But your friends’ disapproival of your Slytherin friendgroup was nothing compared to their objection to your attachment to Mattheo Riddle, son of Lord Voldemort himslef and Harry’s personal nemesis since first grade. Not only were they among the students whispering about his reputation and dark legacy behind his back, Harry (and Ron) had also been on the receiving end of Mattheo's fists before- and hit back.
As you sat down between Hermoine and Ginny on the couch, you saw that Harry and Ron were sitting on the carpet, facing each other, a board of wizard chess in between them. The game seemed to have been going on for a while already, as a larger pile of defeated white figures and a smaller one of black figures lay by the side of the board. Harry seemed to be losing, as anyone would, against Ron. Watching Ron make a clever move against him, you lamented that you would love to see him play with Theo- it would certainly be a battle for the ages.
Ron looked up from the game when you got comfortable in the squishy cushions of the worn-out sofa and his eyes ran over you for a second, as if checking for injuries. “How was the snakepit?” he asked, and though it was humorous, his voice held an underlying tension.
“Anyone bite you?” asked Ginny from behind the shitty romance book she was currently hate-reading, a teasing tone evident in her voice. Out of all of them, Ginny was probably the most chill about your ties to the Slytherins, as she herself didn’t give much of a shit about house rivalries. “Anyone you’d want to bite you?” she added, making you huff out a small laugh under your breath.
“I am unharmed, thank you,” you said, a bit curtly at the condescending tone of Ron’s question. Just as it was with your Slytherin friends, you’d always defend your ties to the other group when they talked shit about each other- in the full knowledge that it would never change anything, and they would just keep hating each other.
When Mattheo had suggested you shouldn't waste your breath trying to stand up for your friends when their hostility ran too deep to ever be dismantled, you had asked if he’d say that about you defending him in front of your friends too. Thinking back to his taken-aback expression, you had to suppress a smile. Mattheo had never again tried to convince you not to stick up for your friends, but when you'd slept over at his dorm a few nights later, he’d asked you if you had been serious about defending him to your friends. He hadn’t looked at you, but you had heard the vulnerability in every gruff grumble of his tone.
Hermoine’s matter of fact voice drew your attention back to the situation at hand. “Did he finally ask you?” she inquired, scratching a loudly purring crokshanks behind the ear.
You knew what she was talking about, of course, and averted your eyes. Concealing your disappointment, you pretended to be interested in Harry's and Ron's game, where Ron now checkmated Harry, making him groan loudly. “No,” you answered in your best impression of indifference.
Harry, who had not been paying attention to the conversation due to his humiliating defeat, finally admitted his loss and turned his attention to the couch. “y/n?” he addressed you, chiming in, and you raised your brows at him inquiringly. Wringing his hands, he seemed a little embarrassed. “So… remember when I asked you about being my date for the Yule Ball?”
“Vividly,” you answered, nodding.
In fact, you did. In this very same common room, at about one in the morning, he’d called back to you when you’d made your way back up the stairs to the girl's dormitories. Due to procrastinating your homework of the last week, you had been staying up to complete several essays, with only him as your company. Being the Quidditch team captain and assigned the duties coming along with the position, he’d been behind his course work as well until the last embers of the fire had burned down. In the total darkness, he’d asked you to come with him to the yule ball- as a friend, of course. But you had declined the offer, still foolishly hoping that Mattheo might put his money where his mouth was and ask you out instead.
Harry rubbed his neck, sounding just as embarrassed as that night. “Yeah, well, I still kind of don’t really have a date yet ...”
General laughter took over the group at his red-faced confession. Next to you, Ginny giggled, shifting her concentration back onto her book, as Hermoine shook her head with a little smile. “Absolutely pathetic, mate,” commented Ron, collecting the chess figures and board to store them back in one of the shelves beside the fireplace.
“Hey,” said Harry indignantly, raising his brows at him, “you had to get asked by Hermoine because you didn’t have the balls to ask her herself!” More laughter followed his words and you clutched your sides, glancing over at Hermoine who was chuckling to herself as her eyes skimmed the parchment for any errors she might have missed. “He does have a point," she smiled.
Ron groaned at her, as if she had just delivered a brutal stab to his back, and let himself fall back onto the carpet as the laughter subsided. When he was done grinning at Ron’s humiliation, Harry turned back to you in a business-like manner. “Alright, I’ll be asking you one last time before i accept my fate as the sad, date-less guy for the night.”
His words reminded you that you, too, were among the last people to not have a date for the night, probably in the entire school. Pretty much all of your friends already had partners, and really, it wasn’t only true that you were Harry’s last resort, he was also yours, since Mattheo didn’t seem remotely interested in the idea of taking you out for the ball.
“And that would be different from the usual how?” Ginny asked with raised brows, still not looking up from her book.
“You’re not helping, Ginny,” Harry deadpanned at her before turning back to you, a pleading look in his eyes. “Look. You don’t have a date. I don’t have a date. And, speaking for myself here, if I don’t find one, McGonnagall might force me to take Mrs. Norris out of pity.”
The thought made you break out into a fit of giggles, picturing Harry dancing with the caretaker’s grumpy cat. Ron, who seemed to feel a similar way, grinned. “Now that’s a mental image I didn’t need.”
“Mrs. Norris in a tiny gown…,” said Ginny dreamily, turning a page in her book and making Harry roll his eyes at his friends’ antics.
Feigneing support, you patted his shoulder and offered empathetic, constructive advice. “Why not take Filch himself while you’re at it? I’m sure he’s a great dancer.”
Harry rubbed at his temples and shook his head at the round of laughter that followed your words. “Okay, so, moving on-,” he turned his gaze back to you, serious once more. “You are my best option.”
“Flattering, Harry,” you joked, “And they say chivalry is dead.” Smiling, you averted your eyes to think properly and instead focused them upon crookshanks who was striding towards you on the couch. You started to pet him, earning a mechanical sort of purr from the old cat, as you contemplated the situation.
“Listen,” said Harry, dragging himself on the carpet in your direction. “It’s a good pitch. We’ll go as friends, no pressure, no drama, no expectations- just two people avoiding being total losers together.”
Crookshanks began purring with more enthusiasm as you scratched him behind the ears, hesitating. “I mean… I guess?” It wasn’t like he didn’t have a point. Turning up alone would be less than favorable, especially since all your friends had dates for the night, except Harry. Honestly, you’d probably spend most of the night with him anyway, due to that fact. Might as well make it official.
The scratching of Hermpoine’s quill next to you had stopped as she looked at you over the rim of her parchment. “You guess?” she asked, eyes narrowed. You shrugged, instead of relaying the lengthy explanation for your hesitation. In spite of what Pansy constantly tried to convince you off, you were quite sure by now that Mattheo wasn’t going to ask you- which was fine. Really. It was absolutely fine with you. Except for the part where it wasn’t at all.
Maybe it was because Pansy had gotten your hopes up about this. Any time you had expressed your doubts about your friendship with Mattheo to her, she’d roll her eyes at you and tell you all sorts of things: how he’d been responsible for McLaggen’s unlucky incident that sent him to St Mungos after he had stood you up, how he would look at you with, as she put it, ‘a disgustingly lovesick stare’, how he would always find ways to bring you up in conversation when you weren’t around, his mind floating back to you regardless of the context, either stating or guessing what your opinion might be on the matter.
‘Honestly,’ she’d say, ‘That boy is so in love with you it’s embarrassing to sit next to. Like, truly appalling. And even worse to sit by while he always cops out of asking you out officially.’
But either way, whether what she was saying was true or a misguided guess, or a kind lie, you were quite sure he wouldn’t be making a move before Christmas. Did you really want to turn up without a date and watch him spend the night with some other girl dangling from his arm? He had enough of them at his disposal, in spite of his parentage or reputation. And, really, if he was doing these things in spite of your blatant signaling, in spite of being so weirdly territorial over you, you might as well go out with a guy that would tickle his nerves. See how he felt about that. As his arch-nemesis, Harry would certainly be ideal in that regard.
“You wanted Riddle to ask you, didn't you?” Hermoine’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, her gaze knowing as it rested on you.
You felt caught and sat up a little straighter. “...no.” Curse your denial to come out so hesitantly. But really, she was right. There had been nothing you had been more excited for than the possibility of going out with your best friend, back when the yule ball had been announced. And now, this.
Ron pointed an accusatory finger at you, frowning. “That was the least convincing no I’ve ever heard.”
Meanwhile, Ginny was giggling away at your side. “You so did,” she called your bluff and patted your leg in false pity.
With a long, desperate groan, you buried your face in your hands. “Ugh, shut up, please!”
But Ginny, still laughing, only marked her page with a bookmark and threw it aside onto a nearby table to turn her whole attention to you. “Merlin, this is so much better than my book!”
To quell all of their teasing at once - you could see Ron opening his mouth to add to your embarrassment and even Hermoine seemed to have something to say as she put away her parchment - you lifted your head from the palms of your hands and raised them to bring about silence. However, only your next words could get their attention. “Alright, alright, sure!” you called, face burning, “I’ll go with you, Harry.”
Whistling loudly, Ron earned himself a stern glare from Hermoine. When she had silenced his appreciative teasing, she turned to you, slightly frowning now. Meanwhile, Harry fisted the air, a relieved smile spreading across his face. “You won’t regret it, I promise. I’ll be the best fake date you’ve ever had.”
These words did manage to make your lips twitch into a small smile. “That is not a very high bar, Harry.”
Still frowning worriedly, Hermoine, ever the voice of reason, leaned towards you and placed a hand on your leg. “You don’t have to say yes just because Harry is desperate, you know that, right?”
“Wow, thanks, Hermoine,” said Harry sarcastically from the side, but she ignored him. Hoping to calm her worries, you smiled at her.
If you were being truthful, you would admit that this wasn’t a purely altruistic move on your part. Actually, you were hoping for some benefit to come out of this arrangement for you, as well. Maybe you could finally figure out if Mattheo felt anything more for you than friendship, if you forced his hand by going with his biggest rival. But you would rather have Harry and the others think you were just doing your friend a favor, a far more noble motivation than these darker intentions.
But Ginny seemed to see right through you. “Oh, come on. We all know you’re just saying yes to make Riddle jealous,” she blatantly called you out, earning herself a round of chuckles as the blood rushed to your face.
“That’s not-” you lied, a blushing and embarrassed mess and probably very obvious. You had never been that good at lying, and at least Mattheo said that he appreciated it, being surrounded with a group of friends who were just as good at lying as seeing through the lies of others. That he felt less like he had to watch his every step with you. He liked your openness, and he found your blushing adorable, always pinching your cheeks when you did and only worsening your situation most of the time.
Ginny curled with laughter at your feeble attempts to hide your true attention. “It totally is, who are you trying to convince here?” she asked, amusedly and you breathed a long sigh. Why did all this have to be so complicated? Feelings and people and dances.
But at least Harry seemed to take mercy on you, which was the least he could do after you’d given into his desperate pleas. “Alright, it’s settled then,” he sounded over Ginny’s laughter, giving you a trusted smile, “You and me- two best mates, going to the ball together. No weirdness.”
“No weirdness,” you repeated, quite thankful.
But Ginny quirked a teasing brow at you. “Except for when Riddle inevitably loses his mind over it." The idea ignited a spark of hope in you that you immediately felt bad for. Of course you didn’t want to make Harry a pawn in your game- but it may have been a sacrifice you were willing to make. However, you certainly didn’t want to put him at risk of spending time in the hospital wing or anything. Which was not that far-fetched of a worry.
“Not my problem,” shrugged Harry at Ginny’s words and you bit down on your lip. “It might be.”
Your words had been but a quiet mutter, but Ginny picked up on them and grinned at you with an expression that eerily reminded you of Pansy at the prospect of some juicy new drama. “On a scale of one to absolute insanity, how bad do you think he’s gonna take it?”
Sighing deeply and wringing your hands in your lap, you gave her a sheepish look, trying not to glance at Harry when you said, “I’m hoping for mild irritation.”
Ginny’s eyebrows shot up until they almost reached her hairline. Harry, too, seemed quite skeptical, as he leaned against the couch and frowned up at you. “And expecting?”
A small smile tugged at your lips, but you weren’t in a mood for joking. “...Something between homicide and setting the entire venue on fire,” you replied, hesitantly but probably as a more realistic estimation of the prospects. Regardless of whether or not Mattheo liked you, he surely didn’t take kindly to any boy getting, in his opinion, too close to you-especially not the Chosen One, whom he’d been pitted against since the first time he’d set foot on the doorstep of the castle.
“So, about a nine?” asked Ron, chuckling, and making the rest of you laugh again. It resoilved some of the tension that had been lingering in the air, the knowledge of a looming confrontation. Leaning over to you with faux secrecy, Ron said, “Just don’t come crying to us when he inevitably drags you into some dark corridor for a dramatic argument.”
“She’s hoping for that,” smirked Ginny, rolling her eyes- if at you or at her brother, you weren’t sure. Honestly, both of you deserved it.
Suddenly, Harry stood up from the carpet and straightened out his shirt, grinning dowm at you. Again, he had a business-like air about him. “Alright, if we’re doing this. we’re doing it properly.”
“What do you mean?” you asked, chuckling at his sudden enthusiasm.
Harry tipped an imaginary hat. “If i have to face the wrath of Mattheo Riddle, I at least want to look good while doing it” All of you chuckled at his determination and Ginny whistled. “Now, that’s the spirit.”
The first day of the holidays brought the first proper snow of the winter. Overnight, the snowflakes had danced quietly onto the earth and had turned the castle grounds into a fairytale landscape. The dark forest was no longer a black but a white mass, somehow less threatening and more inviting. But who would have felt the desire to disappear into the trees when the castle was buzzing with warmth and christmas joy?
The excitement for the yule ball especially was apparent everywhere, as students stood in the courtyard, huddled together in groups against the cold, and discussed dress robes and hairstyles for the next day's evening. A blanket of snow lay thick upon the stone gargoyles as you passed them, trotting behind Harry and Ron with Hermoine by your side. Your crunching steps left footprints in the white, glistening layer as you listened to Harry and Ron how much cake they would need for the afterparty in the common room.
Reaching the protection of the castle wall, you stood together, shielded against the sharp winter winds, as Ron started to change the topic to the amounts of firewhiskey they could smuggle in. “The thing is,” he said with a fervor you could rarely spot with him in class-related situations. “The Slytherins have the best connections to the hogshead, so we had a bit of trouble even finding someone who would give us hard liquor. We tried pretending to be McGonnagall to trick Madam Rosmerta into sending some up to the castle, but I don’t think it worked because she didn’t answer our owl.”
“Have you considered to pass yourself off as a teacher a bit more… relaxed than Professor McGonnagall?,” you suggested, looking from Harry to Ron with an amused expression.
“She’s the only professor who’s writing I could mimic,” said Harry, shrugging. “You have connections in Slytherin, right? Maybe you could get us some firewhiskey.” Hermoine murmured something like a reasonable objection into her scarf, but there was a lenient glinting in her eyes when she looked at Ron, who suddenly seemed hopeful at the idea. For once, not overly critical of your other friendships.
“Nah,” you said, deriving a certain satisfaction from seeing their hopeful expressions crumble. “Get your own connections. I’m not catching shit from McGonnagall for being responsible for your alcoholism.”
“Says the one with the nicotine addicted whatever he is to you,” said Hermoine, arms crossed tightly over her chest for warmth, with a smile and you huffed out an amused chuckle, your breath swirling in transcendent forms in the air before mingling with theirs and fading.
“But you bring up a good point,” said Harry, “The real question is: how would we even get all of it past McGonnagall and up to Gryffindor tower? I mean, we could use the invisibility cloak, but-”
Abruptly, he fell silent, and just the split of a second later did you realize the reason why, when the familiar smell of cigarettes and leather alerted you, with pin-point accuracy, who the culprit of Harry’s sudden discontinuation was. A shadow loomed over the four of you, huddled into your corner, and the easy atmosphere shattered like glass. You did not need him to speak to know who it was.
“Mind if I steal her for a moment?”
Mattheo’s voice was low, edged with amusement, but laced with something else as well, something unreadable. Ron and Hermoine whipped around, sharply, at the sound of his voice, Ron stepping in front of her slightly, as if on instinct. However, you turned only reluctantly, already aware who you’d find standing there, but not knowing whether you were keen on talking to him and revealing the inevitable bomb that might set him off.
Mattheo was leaning against the castle wall, mere feet from you. His dark eyes flickered over your friends with a lazy kind of scrutiny, lips twitching when he caught the way Hermoine’s posture stiffened and Ron’s expression darkened. His gaze lingered on Harry for half a second longer than necessary. Harry straightened slightly, shoulders squaring, and shifted as if to protest, but before he could speak, Mattheo cut him off with an easy smirk and a tilt of his head. “Relax, Potter, I won’t bite.” His gaze flickered back to you, locking onto yours as his smirk shifted into something more… deliberate. “Unless you ask nicely.”
He extended a hand- not touching you, just gesturing you forward, but the implication was clear. The moment seemed to stretch, a thick tension settling in the chilly air, before you stepped away from the wall, brushing a bit of snow off your sleeve. Behind you, Hermoine let out a barely audible sound of disapproval, Ron muttered something, in all likelihood, rude under his breath and Harry shifted slightly in your field of vision, as if he wanted to step in. But you threw them a pleading look not to make a thing out of it and walked over to Mattheo’s side, raising your brows at him in silent inquiry.
His eyes studied your expression, before he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and led you away. With a last little smile to your friends, you told them goodbye and walked away with him, not registering the slow, smug glance Mattheo gave them over his shoulder as he turned with you towards the entrance.
But the castle didn’t seem to be his desired destination. Instead, he led you down the flight of stairs connecting the courtyard and the greenhouses, all the while silent. You stocked it up to his bad mood. In truth, it was nervosity.
Mattheo had been rolling it around in his head all night, ever since he’d watched you leave the common room last night, Theo's dark suggestion still ringing in his ears, the cursed images of you with Potter, of all people, still haunting him. He’d already given Pucey his piece of mind about him considering to ask you out, but he knew you would mind - a lot - if he had a go at Harry that was so clearly provocated by himself. Knowing you wouldn’t forgive him too easily if he rearranged Potter’s face just a few days before christmas, and considering the massive truthbomb that was the fact that he, in actuality, held no claim over you. Yet.
Finally, after staring at the ceiling stubbornly for a good few hours, making his way through what was left of his last pack of cigarettes and not getting a minute of sleep, he’d finally not only worked up the courage, but also the words to finally, finally ask. But now, as he led you down the icy stairs, vigilant you wouldn’t trip, both the nerve and the ability to articulate himself seemed to have left him. Maybe he should have gotten some sleep before this after all. Or consumed anything other than black coffee and nicotine before approaching you to ask you- possibly the only question that really mattered.
When you reached the greenhouses, he leaned against one of the glass walls, fogged up against the cold, hands buried in his coat pockets. Feeling nervous, you moved to stand on the bit of snow-covered grass in front of him, sneaking glances up at him, his furrowed brows, his clenched jaw. “So,” he said slowly, as if weighing every word, “About the ball.”
“Oh,” you made, swallowing. With a nervous little nod, you wrung your frost-bitten hands and looked up into his brown eyes, so beautiful against the cold white sky. They were surprisingly calm, given the news you thought would enrage him. Maybe it didn’t matter to him after all. “So you heard, then?”
But Mattheo tilted his head, incredulously. “Heard what, exactly?” Oh shit. Perplexedly, you blinked up at him, having assumed he would have heard by now through Enzo’s miraculous grapevines, and that that was the reason he had wanted a chat. “...that I’m going with Harry.”
Mattheo stilled, expression faltering for just a second before his jaw clenched- tight. His eyes, usually gleanming with lazy humour, darkened as they locked onto yours, the look in them almost making you take a step back before you could get your instincts back under control. “Potter?” he said, his voice deceptively calm, but you could see the way his fingers flexed, as if suppressing a sudden urge to clench them into fists. His tongue ran over his teeth, exhaling sharply through his nose like he was trying to reel himself in.
Mattheo felt the words hit im like a slap, over and over again. That I’m going with Harry. I’m going with Harry. I’m going with Harry. They twisted something inside him, and it hurt, though he’d rather die than let it show. Potter. Out of all the people in this godforsaken castle, it had to be him. His jaw was locked as he forced himself to keep his expression neutral, but he could feel the tightness in his chest, the way his fingers flexed and twitched with the urge to grab you- to shake some sense into you.
You tilted your head and looked up at him with those nervous, pretty eyes of yours, an unsure, hesitant smile playing around your lips. “What other Harrys could I possibly be referring to?” you asked, in a feeble attempt to bring some humour into the situation, light up his face that was grim and tight, as if in shadow.
Mattheo wanted to laugh, to show you how utterly unaffected he was by this news, and at the same time, he burned to throw out some sharp, cutting remark about how predictable it was, how you must have lost your damn mind. But the words felt heavy in his throat. Because it was a perfectly sane decision. Going out with Potter was probably way more sensible than going out with him.
Instead, he leaned back slightly, rolling his shoulders as if the news didn't settle like lead in his stomach. “Didn’t know you were into charity work now,” he drawled, voice deceptively smooth, but there was a cutting edge to it, a sharpness that wasn’t usually there- or rather, was usually directed at everyone but you.
“You’re really going with that bastard?” he asked, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet. Not even looking into your eyes could calm the storm raging inside him now, as it spread through every fibre of his body, balled in his chest, reached the tips of his fingers as they almost shook with suppressed rage. Now, they were just a reminder of what he couldn’t have.
Of course you’d go with Potter, why would you have even considered him? When people were already whispering behind your back about you and your friendship with him, calling you names and giving you looks, calling you a house traitor and shallow or two-faced, the irony not even occurring to them. But Merlin, how he hated, how he detested, how he loathed that Harry was, sensibly, a better option for you than he would ever be.
He let out a slow breath through his nose, shaking his head slightly, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek. He shouldn't even care. Since when had he let people get to him like this? But you weren't just anyone. You were you. You were his. And then again, you weren’t. And he shouldn’t be feeling this burning frustration curling in his chest, shouldn’t feel the itch in his fingers to grab your wrist and tell you to drop the whole fucking thing. But he did. And that pissed him off even more.
“He asked me as a friend,” you said, feeling the need to clarify. Why you had thought it would calm the storm raging in his eyes, you didn’t know, as a dry, sarcastic laugh fell from his lips, missing his usual casual teasing tone. “Oh, of course. Just friends.”
Your clueless frown only fueled his anger and he clicked his tongue impatient at you, taking some sick enjoyment in the way his glare made you recoil slightly. “Never taken you as naive before, sweetheart.” When he usually whispered the nickname, it was a flirty drawl, and accompanied by a teasing smirk, or just a casual, rare smile. Now, he spat it out, barely containing his frustration. But he wasn’t the only one irked by the other.
“Mattheo, I adore you,” you said firmly, frowning up at him, “But just because you’ve got a hidden motive behind everything doesn’t mean he has.” Trying to think of the right words, you bit down on your lower lip. “He just…”
“...didn’t find anyone as nice as you to take pity on him?” Mattheo finished your sentence, his brows raised with dry humor. You could tell he was trying to push your buttons now, deflecting from his own emotions by trying to get yours up, in an attempt to get the upper hand. Because with him, everything had to be a fight, a struggle, a confrontation.
Refusing to let him get to you, you crossed your arms over your chest and looked at him coolly. “Maybe I said yes because he actually asked me.”
Unexpectedly, his detached demeanor seemed to crack for just a second. Something shifted in his expression, flickering -or falling- before he got his features back under control. “Huh,” he made, and you were treated to the rare sight of Mattheo Riddle running out of words. His lips twitched grimly, brows furrowed.
Trying to stop him thinking of some sarcastic, meticulous provocation, you took a step towards him, your breath puffing in the air. “Yeah. Huh.”
Finally, an ironic smile forced itself upon his face, it almost seemed to pain him, as the way his nails dug into his palms had to. “So, you’re gonna spend the whole night batting your eyelashes at Mr. Gryffindor Golden Boy then?”
“Why do you care?” you asked quickly, trying to catch him off guard. Your eyes zeroed in on every twitch of his expression, looking for tell-tale signs- as he surely was, too. Was it platonic protectiveness and his disdain for his rival, Harry, or could it be jealousy? His eyes met yours, fiercely, his intense stare piercing you, and though your heart skipped a beat, you held his gaze, determined not to back down.
Mattheo leaned in slightly, getting close to your face with a mocking smile dancing around his lips. “I don’t,” he said with biting sarcasm. “I wish you the best of times with Potter.”
Scoffing, you averted your eyes. His proximity was suffocating, it was confusing, a round of sparks dancing in the pit of your stomach, so unlike the butterflies people always talked about. No, your love for him was explosive, it was brimming with glimmering tension, threatening to turn into a wildwire, expanding until it consumed you whole. And you’d burn gladly as long as you burned in his hold. “No, you don’t” you contered, looking back up to find him looking at you with such hunger in his brown eyes.
Mattheo grinned grimly, clicking his tongue in a way that could have drove you into a craze. “You’re right. Hope you trip in those ridiculous heels Pansy will make you wear.”
Pretending to be annoyed, you huffed out a long breath, caught somewhere in between amusement and exasperation. “You have no right to be mad, Mattheo.”
For a moment, the only sound between you was the distant howl of the wind in the courtyard archways above, the faint echo of laughter carried down to the greenhouses by the breeze as the truth of your words hung in the tense air between you. Mattheo was watching you, his jaw tight, his lips curved into that infuriating smirk that didn’t quite reach his eyes. You could see it- how his amusement was forced, how something far more volatile simmered beneath the surface. His words from a second ago still hung between you, sharp-edged and taunting. “Who says I’m mad?”
Without thinking, you reached up, fingers curling around his jaw, your palm warm against the biting cold of his skin. His breath hitched- so soft, so fleeting you almost missed it- but his entire body went rigid, as if the contact had struck him like a spell. His dark eyes, always so unreadable, widened just slightly, caught between surprise and something else. You tilted his chin up just enough to meet his gaze fully, your thumb brushing over the sharp edge of his jaw, and then, with a voice quiet but unwavering, you murmured, “Your face.”
With a whiplash-inducing speed, his demeanor changed, his smirk turning seductive as he leaned into your touch, a disarming glint in his chocolate brown eyes. “And you’d no all about that, wouldn’t you, sweetheart?”
It was unfair. He knew exactly how to tickle your nerves, and just when you’d thought you’d won the struggle for the upper hand, he flipped a card like this, completely taking you aback. The heat of your stomach seemed to rush into your cheeks and you glared at him, at the knowing look in his eyes. There was a reason he was in Slytherin. But there was also a reason you were in Gryffindor.
“I'll see you tomorrow at the ball,” you scoffed, frustrated, let go of his face and took a step back. You knew looking at him might make you turn back to either kiss or slap him, so you turned around sharply and stormed up the stairs back to the courtyard. He didn't follow you, but you could feel the burning piercing of his stare resting on your back.
Pansy’s dorm was alive with the flicker of enchanted candlelight, the air thick with the mingling scents of your perfumes, hairspray and the faintest trace of Pansy’s expensive vanilla-sandalwood lotion. You stood before her full-length mirror, smoothing your hands over the flowing green fabric of your dress as Pansy, perched on the edge of the bed, tilted her head in assessment. “Honey, you look absolutely gorgeous,” she concluded, rising from the bed to walk over to you and arrange the dress in areas.
Her's was already wrapped around her figure, complementing her curves. You tugged at the neckline of yours, unsure of how much cleavage you were showing. In the shop, it had somehow seemed less risque, though it had still been more than you would usually be comfortable with. “Are you sure?”
Halting her prodding movements and tugs, Pansy straightened up and rested her head on your shoulder, smirking at you through the mirror with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “Am I sure you look gorgeous or that Mattheo will like it?”
The blush that shot up into your cheeks would have made any rouge unnecessary. “Pansy!” you hissed, glaring at her, but she only laughed and lifted her head from your shoulder to turn you away from the mirror and to her, for further inspection.
“Don’t worry,” she said, for once with a sincere look on her face and a warm smile gracing her lips. “He will fall in love with you all over again and beat Potter to death before he can even get a hand onto your waist.” Her eyes glinted. “At least after I’m done with your hair.”
In spite of her reassuring words, you let your critical eyes wander over your figure in the mirror as Pansy sat you down on a chair. Her fingers carded into your hair, brushing it out and parting it into sections as she got to work on pinning it up in elegant ways. Brows furrowed in concentration, her fingers worked as if she’d done it a million times before. You scanned her frowning face in the mirror's reflection, rolling her words over in your mind. Pansy was one of your best friends, she wouldn’t lie to you, but-
“Pans?” you asked into the quiet, making her hum in response and raise her brows at you. You opened your mouth, lips parted to beg for further reassurance- but you closed them again, swallowing. It wasn’t like they would convince you, not after having heard her constant encourages for months and never truly having believed them. Or had you? Was it the reason you were so disappointed about Mattheo not asking you out, like you felt you could expect it of him after all Pansy had told you? “Thanks,” you finally said.
Your defeated tone seemed to catch her attention as her eyes snapped up to meet yours in the mirror’s reflection. She frowned. “You know, for someone who’s got a date tonight, you don’t look very excited.”
“I am excited,” you lied, giving her a tense little smile she saw right through.
With raised brows, she got back to putting your hair up with a mix of barrettes, hairspray, and magic. “Mhm, try saying that again without sounding like you’re in mourning.” With a promising little smile, she nudged your shoulder. “I promise you the evening will still get rather exciting for you, even if Potter’s a bore.”
You sighed, unable to hold onto the words any longer as your hands clasped in your lap. “You always try to convince me that he likes me,” you said, without saying the name you were trying to avoid, because it was such a sinful pleasure to let it flow off your tongue, like a kid mumbling a curse word under the protection of its blanket, just to try out the sound of it. A forbidden sound, the promise of freedom. Why was it so hard to say his name, after you’d said it so many times these past few months? In scolding tones, in warning tones, in teasing tones, in affectionate tones. Most of the times, it was the latter- most of the time, he returned your name in the same way.
As you thought of the right way to express the confusion you felt over his actions, Pansy waited, sielntly, and delivered the last, finishing touches to your hair. “If he likes me, why didn’t he ask me?” you finally asked, simple enough.
The question made her sigh and roll her eyes as her perfectly manicured hands clasped down on your thinly clad shoulders. “Because he’s an idiot and a coward. Just like you. Don’t tell him I said that.” You returned her encouraging smile, though still feeling rather pessimistic. Pansy patted your shoulder. “Honestly, since when has Mattheo known to handle his feelings?”
“Fair point,” you sighed, as she released you and walked over to her desk, to her other mirror, displaying her makeup on the surface. As she started to put hers on, you opened your bag as well and got out what you needed, making sure to get none on your dress. For a few minutes, you worked in silent concentration, the quiet only broken by laughter and shouts from the Slytherin common room.
Because she’d insisted on helping you with your hair, you’d agreed to get ready with Pansy in her dorm on the big evening. You had been here for an hour, chatting, trying on each other’s dresses, flipping through magazines for hair and makeup inspiration. Now, it was only an hour until the start of the ball, and the excitement that brimmed in the whole castle even reached the Slytherin dorms in the dungeons. When you’d hurried through it with Pansy, the common room had been devoid of its usual calm and had rather reminded you of the Gryffindor common room on a rowdy saturday, with students mingling and mixing, chatting in excited voices, their anticipation barely contained behind their Slytherin coolness.
Pansy’s voice cut through your meandering thoughts, snapping you back to reality as you started to apply mascara. “When did you tell him, anyway? That you’re going with Potter?”
“Yesterday,” you answered, leaning forward to examine your work in detail. “Why?”
Even through her distant reflection in the mirror, you could distinctly make out her sudden smirk, pulling at her now full and red looking lips. “Oh, nothing,” she warbled innocently, though she looked as if she’d just unraveled a particularly thrilling christmas present. Her glinting eyes locking on your expression as she closed the lid on her lipstick was like a mouse trap snapping shut. “Just… Have I mentioned Mattheo has been a complete nightmare since yesterday?”
You paused mid lipgloss application to meet her eyes through the mirror, her words sinking in and coiling in the pit of your stomach. “...What?” you asked, trying not to sound too eager for her to expand on these seductive words.
Pansy grinned, turning to her mirror to deliver some last finishing touches to her face. “Oh, darling. He’s livid.”
“Why would he be livid?” you asked, frowning, getting back to your lipgloss. “It’s not like he cares.”
Pansy’s mock gasp told you she was not at all convinced by your reasoning- nor fooled by the false indifference in your voice. But she gave into your silent need for answers anyway, a knowing smile on her lips. “Oh, sure, that’s why he nearly hexed Enzo for breathing too loudly this morning.” She corrected the blend of her eyeshadow, enjoying the effect her words had on you. “Honestly, I should be mad at you for causing such an unbearable mood in our common room, but it’s just too entertaining.”
“I didn’t cause anything,” you deflected grumpily, glaring at your own reflection as if it were him, trying to convince yourself, trying not to let Pansy get your hopes up again and, at the same time, yearning for something to grasp onto. “Whatever’s got to him, I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with me.”
Making an unconvinced sound, Pans angled her face differently to admire it in different lighting. “Tell that to the poor first-year who had a nervous breakdown yesterday when Mattheo snapped at him for existing.”
“What?” you snapped sharply, frown deepening. Unfazed, Pansy rose from her seat and walked over to you, swaying her hips as she met your eyes in the mirror. You sighed at the grin on her face, getting back to applying your makeup. “He can be mad all he wants, it doesn’t change the facts.” Right. It changed nothing. You shouldn’t even care.
Pansy raised her perfectly lined brows at your attempts to seem indifferent. “Then why are you applying your lipgloss for the third time?” Before you could answer, she grabbed the lipgloss out of your hands, closed it and threw it back into your back. With a pull that left no room for protest, she tugged you up and towards the door. “You look fantastic. Come on, let’s get you out and about so you can meet your Chosen One up at Gryffindor tower.”
As you walked down the steps and stepped into the common room, your heart began to thrum in your chest at the realization that he’d probably be there. That he’d see you. In this dress. For a moment, you wished you’d gotten one with a more modest neckline, but then again, you burned to see his reaction.
It was as if you already felt it on the bottom step, as Pansy urged you into the common room. His presence, and then, the weight of his stare as you spotted him leaning against one of the leather couches beside Theo, dressed in, for once, unsullied dress robes. His gaze locked and you, your figure, and the tension in the air seemed thick enough to choke on.
Mattheo hadn’t even been looking, let alone waiting for you. At least that was what he told himself. But the moment the sound of heels clicking against the stone steps echoed through the common room, his body betrayed him. His fingers, lazily spinning a silver ring around his knuckle, stilled. His jaw clenched. And when he finally glanced up, just like he swore he wouldn’t, it was like taking a hit straight to the ribs.
You were stunning. Not just in the way that made his breath catch, but in the way that made his stomach twist, made something dark coil in his chest. Because you weren’t dressed for him. And yet, his first thought was that you should’ve been. His expression didn’t change, smirk perfectly in place, body draped in his usual lazy confidence- but his grip on his ring tightened, his throat felt dry, and he had to physically stop himself from shifting toward you. He knew the moment your eyes met his, you’d notice something in his stare, something raw, something dangerous. So he looked away first. Just for a second. Just long enough to breathe.
A thrill ran through you when your eyes met his, sharp and electric. He was still lounging in that infuriatingly effortless way, all cocky smirks and feigned disinterest, but you knew better. You saw it—the clench in his jaw, the way his fingers had gone stiff around that damn silver ring. The way his gaze flickered, just barely, before snapping back to you like he hadn’t meant to look away at all.
The other boys had now taken notice of your presence as well. Charming compliments rolling off his lips like the finest vinegar, Blaise made his way towards Pansy, who smirked him off and locked her arm with yours, telling him something about just having perfected her look and getting you out of here before someone choked on their own spit. But your eyes were still locked on Mattheo, as if there was a magnetic pull attracting them that rendered you unable to avert your gaze.
Only Pansy’s gentle nudges and tugging moved your feet towards the entrance wall, as if on autopilot, and only her whispered voice as she leaned in could cut through the rushing in your ears. “Alright, what’s the plan for tonight when Mattheo inevitably corners you at the ball?”
Anxious for none of the boys to overhear you, you leaned in closer, muttering, “... Ignore him?”
Pansy scoffed at your suggestion, rolling her eyes with a little smirk. Gently, she nudged your side and lifted her brows at you. “Adorable. Wrong, but adorable.”
You sighed, reaching the entrance to the common room and turning to her for a brief goodbye. You had to physically restrain yourself from looking back at Mattheo, who’s gaze you could feel burning into your skin, a silent dare to look back, walk back, to him. But you wouldn’t. “It doesn’t matter,” you tried to convince yourself more than you tried to convince Pansy. “I’m with Harry tonight. End of story.”
But Pansy seemed unimpressed by your stubborn conviction. A promising smirk graced her lips as she tilted her head towards Mattheo subtly. “Oh, honey. This story is just getting started.”
a/n: stay tuned for part b 🫶 | if anyone would like to get tagged for part b who isn't already in the general or mattheo tag list, leave a comment!
-> after the eventful night at the party you hesitate to tell your brother about your relationship with his best mate, fearing his reaction- but theo doesn't seem to know what's good for him.
-> brother's bsf!theodore nott x riddle!reader; wc: 8.8k; cw: violence, smoking, alcohol, blood, suggestive; sfw; sadly there was some error with the tags and I couldn't tag some people, but I still hope you all found your way here!
( masterlist )
Taboos were a funny thing. Unspoken, implied, and yet, it seemed impossible to break them- making it all the more thrilling to throw them into the wind. Once broken, they settled in the depths of your heart as secrets, blossoming uncontrollable until your whole stomach was a resting whirlwind of pink rose petals, ready to be triggered at any minute. The memories of last night were like hidden-away treasures, replaying in your mind as you walked up the dungeon steps on your way to breakfast. It was as if you could still feel his hands on your skin, his velvety voice in your ears and see the look of hunger and adoration in his cerulean eyes.
Almost subconsciously, you ran your index finger along your thigh below the school skirt you were wearing and felt your stomach flutter at the reemerging memories of last night. Half an hour ago, you'd woken up, feeling more gleeful than ever and only after a few seconds realizing why. But now, it clouded your mind and projected a silly little smile onto your face. Theo was your boyfriend.
You could barely believe it, which didn't make it easier to sort out the conflicting feelings fistfighting each other in the back of your mind. The risk of going out with Theo, the betrayal Mattheo would feel, and the overpowering delight ignited by the mere thought of him, the image of his face, the whisper of his name. God could not have crafted a more perfect man- or a more unreachable one. Because you didn't dare picture what Mattheo might do to the both of you if he found out.
The corridor was quiet, the distant chattering from the Great Hall above growing ever more clear as you approached it. No one crossed your way, you were quite late. The cool stone beneath your fingertips as you trailed your hand along the wall was grounding, steady, until suddenly, it wasn’t. A firm grip caught your wrist, gentle yet insistent, and before you could react, you were being pulled- not harshly, but with a certainty that sent a spark of electricity through your veins.
You barely had time to gasp before your back met the cool stone, and when you looked up, Theo was there, his body caging you in with effortless ease. His breath was warm against your cheek, his hands meeting the wall on either side of your head. An easy smirk danced around your lips and the glinting in his eyes stirred other, more sinful memories in you. Though it was a much different setting than back then, the hunger in them was the same he'd stared at you with when he'd eaten out as if you were his last meal. “Caught you,” he said, under his breath, looking so damn irresistible with the teasing look in his eyes. He seemed much more casual than usual, as well as in a much better mood, and you could understand why.
“I wasn't running,” you replied in an unconvincing effort to keep your voice steady. You swallowed when he leaned in even further and tilted his head, eyes boring into yours as if he knew exactly what was going on in your mind- how you longed for him, for every bit of him, from his blue eyes to the sharp edge of his voice.
His fingers traced up your arm lazily, leaving you struggling to suppress a shudder, and if the flicker of his eyes was any indication, he was perfectly aware of how he made you feel. “No?” he asked with a knowing smile. “Then why do you look so nervous?” Your breath hitched in your throat when his lips hovered over yours, stilling in silent anticipation. You knew he was making you squirm, was getting you all hot and bothered for him so he would have the upper hand. And you were ashamed to admit that it worked.
In an attempt to divert him and avoid suffocating on the heavy tension lingering in the minimal space between you, you said, “I was just on the way to breakfast,” but it came out like a question and you bit down on your tongue when he raised an amused brow.
The intensity of his gaze made you swallow and blink, but you refused to avert your eyes from his pools of blue, refused to give him the satisfaction. “Oh, were you know?” he asked, voice low and laced with sarcastic humour.
Sarcasm. His defining feature. Sometimes you felt like he walked through life, disregarding all worry and bother with a sarcastic smile on his face. But you knew he could be genuine. His gaze would always be understanding when you sought out consolation with him, his smile gentle when you would tell him about your day. Last night, when Campbell had cornered you at the party, there had not been a trace of humor in his cold demeanor. When he’d eaten you out on that desk, he had looked up at you with such sincerity.
You instinctively leaned into the touch of his hand when it came up to rest against your neck, thumb running over your throat with featherlight precision. “You keep walking the halls in that skirt of yours and someone’s going to snatch you up.”
Unconvincingly, you rolled your eyes at him and his protectiveness. Your skirt was perfectly fine. Maybe it was the one from last year. Maybe it rode just a little higher on your thigh. Maybe you’d wanted him to notice and strain himself all day to not let Mattheo catch him looking at you. Maybe all you’d dreamed about that night was the feeling of his hands working on your cunt, producing the most mind-blowing orgasm you’d ever felt.
“And let me guess,” you said, challengily, and ignored the pounding of your heart against your ribs, “you’re just the right person to keep that from happening?”
Theo dipped down even more, making your eyes flutter shut in the expectancy of a kiss. It came, but it was a mere gentle peck to the corner of your mouth. “No,” he disagreed smoothly, “I’m the only person who is allowed to.”
You had enough. Enough of the tingling teasing of his fleeting touches, enough of the light touch of his lips. Taking initiative, you stood on your tiptoes to meet his lips, but he pulled away, smirking down at your frown. Just a shame you’d discovered how to make him snap last night. Theo smiled as your hand came up to his neck, pulling him down with pleading eyes, and made not the slightest attempt to assist your struggles. So, you had to get out the full arsenals. “Theo,” you whispered, gaze firmly locked on his cerulean eyes. “Theo, baciami.” (Kiss me)
“Maledizione,” cursed Theo through gritted teeth and you knew you’d won. In one fluid motion, both his hands came up to cup your face and his lips clashed onto yours with unknown ferocity. They moved vehemently against yours, eliciting a high-pitched little gasp from you. It made him chuckle into your mouth as his tongue slipped between your lips, taking charge of the kiss.
Though passionate, the kiss was still controlled, no matter how wildly, he still consumed you with meticulous mastery. Every movement of his soft lips, every brush of his fingers, every wandering of his hands was expertly staged to get you riled up. Kisses with Theo were not satisfaction, they were carefully controlled build up. And once you gave into his push, he guided you more and more to a point where you almost moaned against his lips.
One of his hands had wandered down to your hip, then your thigh. Unexpectedly, he gripped the underside of your upper thigh and lifted it, squeezing the flesh between his long fingers. Departing from yours, his lips latched onto your neck, and you pushed wildy against his chest. He broke away, brows furrowed with a hint of irritation, still pressing you against the wall with his whole body and massaging the flesh of your thigh as he held it, lifted up to his waist. “Wh-”
“Mattheo will kill you!” you whispered, voice shaking slightly. Instinctively, you looked up and down the hall. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Anyone could walk by. Even if they were another student, they would spread the news around the whole castle and you wouldn’t be spared Mattheo's wrath. You weren’t sure whether he’d be angrier at his best friend for stealing his sister, or at his sister for stealing his best friend, but you did know you weren’t eager to find out.
Theo only laughed lightly at your grim prediction, and the sound was so entrancing that you forgot to be angry at him. Though they spared your neck, his lips traced your jaw with featherlight kisses. “Worth it.”
You felt your breath grow unsteady, not just because of his wandering hands. Hastily, you looked in both directions, up and down the corridor, listening for footsteps, however distant they may be. “It’s not,” you disagreed, biting down on your lip as his fingers slipped beneath your shirt and the calloused tips ran along your bare skin. “Theo, seriously. What if he hurts you? Remember what he did to Dylan Walker?”
Walker had taken you out on a date once, and for that alone, Mattheo had landed him in the hospital wing with second degree burns and a lung full of lake water. When you’d confronted him about it, he had refused to tell you why and Walker had never exchanged another word with you. “Vividly,” said Theo in a dry voice, not even bothering to glance up at you. “I was there.”
“Wha-,” you gasped in indignation, but a sharp pinch of your stomach between his fingers got the words stuck in your throat.
“He talked trash about you,” he explained in an indifferent voice, as if it didn’t matter at all.
You let out a frustrated huff of breath and dug your fingers harshly into his shoulders. “Doesn’t matter. Just because you beat up people and chop at your life expectancy together doesn't mean he won't do the same to you.” There was now actual panic in your voice as you nervously anticipated the steps, the people. Eyes widening, nudging friends, running off to tell the whole school, maybe even Mattheo himself.
But Theo seemed completely unfazed as he trailed kisses up your jaw. “Aren’t you just irresistible, all worried about your boyfriend, carina.”
The use of the word ‘boyfriend’ almost made your thoughts stutter and a tender bloom blossomed in the pit of your stomach. Right. He was your boyfriend. You couldn't suppress the small smile forming on your lips, and by the look he gave you, he knew exactly what he was doing. Theodore Nott was your boyfriend. Not anyone else’s.
All the girls you’d secretly envied when you saw them walk off with him to his dorm in the midst of a rowdy Slytherin party, his arm around their waists, knowing from the stories they told they had to be in for a good time. The following day, you’d visit him at his dorm to do coursework together and try to shut out the fact that on the very bed you sat on, he’d kissed and fucked a girl that wasn’t you. Your gaze would linger on the crumpled up sheets, picturing it, how he would be towards them. Would he be rough, or gentle? Would he be mean, or sweet? Where would his hands wander, where would his lips caress, what would they whisper into the space between the heated bodies?
And then, his voice would pull you out of your sinful thoughts, as he leaned against the headboard and studied your expression, teasing you for your lack of concentration. You wondered whether he had known how it would seize your heart, the way he smiled at you, the way he looked at you. The mere act of regarding you. It was embarrassing, pathetic even, but you felt no greater love and adoration for anyone.
Theo’s thoughts seemed to have wandered off to similar pölaces. As he guided your lips back onto his, he whispered words in between the kisses that made your cheeks burn. “I want everyone to know,” he whispered, and despite your reluctance, you sighed contently against his lips. “I want everyone to know you belong to me,” he said in a murmur, his front pressing against yours.
You nearly choked on your own spit when his thigh slotted neatly into the space between yours, and you were glad your embarrassing little mewl was swallowed up by his hungry lips. “I want them to know,” he repeated, as if it was a mantra, as he devoured your lips over and over again. “I want them to know who they will have to answer to if they ever mess with you again.”
“But who do you answer to?” you asked, voice barely audible in between the hungry ministrations of his lips.
But he understood, you knew he did, somehow he always did. Because he scoffed lightly and tilted your head to give himself better access to your lips. “Not your brother.”
It was hard to concentrate on his words when his hand squeezed your thigh so deliciously and his hips moved teasingly against yours, driving all thoughts about getting caught right out of the forefront of your mind, leaving only thoughts of him, him, him. “He may be my best mate, but he has no damn say in this,” Theo said firmly, voice barely above a whisper but rich with his baritone. “And he’ll have to accept that you are your own person, and you can make decisions for yourself that are right. Not because he approves of them but because you made them.”
All this was whispered hurriedly against your lips and you barely registered half of it, but still, a certain warmth spread in your chest- and not only in your chest. Theo’s lips departed from yours and he looked down at you, noticing your still worried expression as you returned his heavy gaze. Gentle fingers brushed over your face, over the frown, smoothing it out with a smile. Letting out a long sigh, you contemplated his words.
“Don’t worry,” he said softly, suddenly with such disarming tenderness that you swallowed.
“Alright,” you breathed out, voice still full of doubt. You weren’t at all convinced that Mattheo would accept the fact that you were your own person, and even less convinced that he would resolve the issue without violence. The last thing you wanted was for Theo to get hurt. But then again, they were best mates. Maybe Theo would finally be the one he would accept, he would deem worthy of you. How ridiculous that notion was. The more Mattheo kept you away from boys, the more desperate you got- hence Terry Campbell. But maybe he would see how misguided his previous overprotectiveness was if Theo talked him out of it. After all, Theo was a master of words.
“If you want to risk it,” you finally said, meeting Theo’s gaze steadily, “I won’t stop you. But not now. Not at breakfast. I’m actually hungry and I want to enjoy it without you getting your head torn off.”
“Qualsiasi cosa per la mia principessa,” he said, smiling. (Anything for my princess)
Because it would look suspicious if Theo and you just so happened to arrive at the same time, you let him go first and waited for a few minutes before making your way to the Great Hall as well. It was relatively late when you arrived, many students were already on their way back up to their common room as it was a Saturday and they had no classes to attend.
When you walked into the hall, you spotted your friends as one of the last groups at the Slytherin table. Walking over to them, you were first spotted by Pansy, who lifted her head from Blaise’s shoulder to wave you over with an eager grin. Suspicion curled in your stomach when you saw the excitement in her expression, the eager smile could mean nothing good.
As you approached them, you avoided looking at Theo, who had perched himself on the bench in between Pansy and Draco. You went for the seat opposite him, Enzo and Mattheo making room for you in between them. Theo lounged far more casual than usual, smirking slightly as you sat down next to your brother, his eyes flickering over you shortly. “Took your time getting here, tesoro.”
Your eyes flickered over to Mattheo in alarm- in his presence, Theo usually made use of less romantic nicknames. But Mattheo didn’t seem to have picked up on it, seeing as he didn’t pause in his scribbling on a torn piece of parchment. Somewhat calmer, you picked a piece of toast from a plate, avoiding his piercing eyes to not give anything away. “Shut up, Theo. I need my rest,” you said as casually as possible. “Not all of us survive on caffeine, nicotine and no sleep at all.”
On the opposite side of the table, Theo rested his chin on his palm, propped up on the polished wood. His eyes were dark with amusement as he watched you spread butter on your toast. “Hm,” he made vaguely, voice dripping with insinuation, “Thought maybe you got held up.”
Stiffening mid marmalade application, you looked up from your toast to glared at him. But he had already averted his eyes, as if they had been resting on you by mere chance. Instead, you met Pansy’s gaze, who narrowed her eyes slightly, a suspicious look on her face. Pansy had known of your feelings for Theo for even longer as you yourself had, she had a certain instinct for romantic intricacies. One that now came to your inconvenience, as her attentive eyes, eager to pick up on any further signs, flickered between you and Theo. Then, she turned to you, a misleading smile spread across her features. “How was the party yesterday, darling?” she asked, wiggling her brows, “How was your date?”
Mattheo, who had barely been paying attention up until now, froze next to you, eyes snapping up from the parchment and to you with scrutinizing estimation. Trying your best to look indifferent at the memory of Campbell, one that you had already half suppressed, you shrugged, not meeting Theo’s eye. “It was pretty uneventful. He was a bit of a bore.”
Mattheo seemed agitated. He leaned back on the bench, fingers tapping on the wood restlessly, knee rocking under the table. “You missed the briefing,” he said to you, in a not so subtle attempt to change the topic of conversation. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Pansy’s face fall. No doubt would she have asked about the details of the evening, but you weren’t that good at lying- especially not to her.
“The what?” you asked, before she could bring Campbell up again, and raised your brows at your brother. Mattheo grinned at your scepticism and draped an arm over your backrest. Years and years living with him had taught you when his smiles could mean no good, and your brows drew together in a frown as he leaned towards you with a smirk.
“The party briefing. We’re throwing one tonight. No, you don’t get a say. Yes, you’re going. No, you’re not bringing some random guy.”
Deadpanning, you took a bite out of your toast. “Didn’t ask for your permission, actually,” you said sharply when you’d swallowed.
With a mock gasp, your brother clutched his hand over his chest. “You wound my pride as your older brother.” You sighed a long sigh. It was pointless reminding Mattheo that he wasn’t even the oldest and him acting like he was most likely stemmed from some deep-rooted control issues- he would never hear it. You exchanged a short look with Theo, who seemed amused at your frustration and quirked his lips at you. It was hard not to smile back.
“Do we really need another party?” asked Draco, frowning, as he cut his toast into neat pieces for consumption. “Didn’t we just have one?”
Pansy, leaning against Blaise, took her eyes off you to roll them at him. “You say that every time.”
“And you always show up,” Mattheo grinned triumphantly, seemingly very content with himself ever since you’d shown so little enthusiasm regarding your date of last night. If only he knew…
“You've got scratches on your neck, Nott,” Pansy said suddenly, making your meandering thoughts snap back to the present. A present in which Theo had frozen mid-stretch. His shirt seemed to have ridden up when he’d strained his arms over his head and indeed, with horror, you noticed the marks your nails must’ve left on him. You felt heat rush up into your cheeks at the memory, but Theo seemed completely unfazed and smirked at her. “Do I?”
Enzo chuckled into his tea next to you, turning a page in his newspaper and glancing up at Theo shortly, a knowing smile on his face. “Rough morning, mate?” A lazy, unbothered smile spread across his face, and you were momentarily awestruck by the glinting in his blue eyes as they reflected the morning sun, forgetting all about Pansy’s watchful gaze. Looking from you to Theo, she narrowed her eyes once more as Theo idly spun his spoon between his fingers.
“You’ve been in a suspiciously good mood all morning.” Blaise grinned at Theo, who didn’t seem unsettled by the attention at all- other than you. “Must’ve been a real good fuck,” Blaise laughed, making the corners of Theo’s lip twitch. Quickly, you looked away from him. If he looked at you with those damn eyes of his now, your reaction would for sure give you away.
But Theo merely raised an eyebrow at Blaise, readjusting his collar. “Why do you care so much about my sex life, Zabini? It’s disturbing.”
Even Draco now joined into the conversation, and you could only pray your silence would be interpreted as tiredness, rather than nerves and utter embarrassment. He leaned back and frowned slightly at Theo, who was pouring himself another cup of coffee. “It’s just weird when you smile, Nott.”
That seemed to finally take Mattheo’s mind off the party- though you’d rather have them all occupied with something else. He pointed his fork at Theo, suddenly interested. “Actually, yeah. What’s with you?”
Theo deadpanned, sipping his coffee and scanning them all over the rim. “Maybe I’m just happy.”
Next to you, Mattheo snorted disbelievingly. “You’re never happy.” The sarcastic look on Theo’s face made everyone, including you, laugh. Even Theo’s lips twitched humorously and once again, his eyes found yours for the split of a second, brow raising.
“Alright,” groaned Mattheo, matter of factly, once the laughter had subsided, and rose from his seat. “I have some orphans to cannibalize before noon.” his gaze landed on you, voice casual but suddenly firm. “No bullshit tonight, yeah? I don’t want to have to drag some idiot off of you.”
“How about you don’t do that?” you suggested dryly, knowing he would never even consider the possibility. He considered your business his business and justified it by spewing stuff about protecting you, shielding you from the world. But he had to know he would not be able to forever. And you, for your part, were perfectly content with pushing more boundaries, especially when it had felt so damn good yesterday.
As you had suspected, all you got from Mattheo was an unbothered grin. “Not up to you,” he said, simply.
Even Pansy rolled her eyes now. She had always been your advocate, the one who got you talking to boys at parties and smuggled you drinks, lended you her unholy book collection and gave you makeup tips. Now, she gave Mattheo a pointed glare. “You act like she’s a kid, but she’s an adult just like you, you big idiot,” she snapped.
Indignant, Mattheo crossed his arms over his chest. “No, I act like she has terrible taste in men.”
“He does have a point, darling,” Enzo chimed in from your other side, and you gave him a look, conveying just how unhelpful he was being.
“She’s going to end up with someone eventually,” Pansy pressed on, making Mattheo’s expression shift into one of irritation. “And you’ll have to face it.”
Mattheo scoffed, returning her glare. “Not if I have a say in it.”
“You don’t!” you reminded him, voice more heated than before. The stress of keeping a secret from him paired with the worry this conversation sparked off inside you.
The smile on Mattheo’s face was forced, his jaw clenched and his eyes hard and unyielding. “It’'ll be a cold day in hell before I let some idiot get near you." And unfortunately, you believed him.
The Slytherin common room was buzzing with restless, pent up energy of countless students of all houses. The air thick with cigarette smoke and the sickly-sweet smell of smuggled firewhiskey. The emerald glow of the fires cast wildly dancing shadows against the walls, where the portraits had left their frames to spent the night somewhere less in risk of being splashed with alcoholic substance. A large mass of people was swaying to the deafeningly loud music in the center of the room, and in the corners, intertwined bodies engaged in far riskier affairs.
Theo stood against the far wall, posture deceptively relaxed, grip tight round the bottle of some alcohol he was holding. When Blaise had pushed it into his hands an hour prior with a promising smirk, guaranteeing him it was “good stuff”, he had been too distracted to question it, but he didn’t recognize the taste. Normally, that would have been enough of a reason to discard the bottle- Slytherin parties were notorious for the impending risk of being poisoned- but tonight, he couldn’t bring himself to care, needed the deliciously burning trickle down his throat and distract him from this. From you.
His jaw clenched every time he caught sight of you- twirling absentmindedly to the music, smile shining beneath the lights as you let Pansy drag you all over the dance floor in search of Blaise. Unaware of the way his gaze followed you like a magnet, like a tether he couldn’t sever. Every now and again, his eyes flickered over to the opposite end of the room and he took another sip of the unknown drink. Your brother was as loud and reckless as ever, downing shots and laughing with Enzo about something while Draco stood stiffly beside him, eying the dancers critically.
He had been working them out all afternoon. The words, that now sat heavy on his tongue, burning hotter than the liquor. Theo exhaled slowly, set his bottle down with a muted clink, and pushed himself off the wall. The crowd of dancers shifted around him, bodies moving in a drunken haze, some girls clinging to him, but he barely registered it. He slipped through the chaos like a shadow until he came to a stop behind Mattheo and Enzo, still caught up in their conversation.
When they took notice of his presence, Mattheo turned to him with a crude grin. “Enjoying yourself?”
“Plenty,” said Theo dryly, hiding his twitching fingers in the pockets of his trousers. Mattheo seemed to take notice of his restlessness, an impressive feat, taking into account how many shots he’d already downed. His brows lifted in vague confusion. “Need something?” he asked, voice rough from smoke, head tilting as he noticed the tension in his best mate’s stance.
Theo swallowed, throat tight, pulse a heavy drum in his ears- or was it the music? “Yeah,” he finally said, voice low and steady, masking the way his heart rattled against his chest like it wanted to break from its cage. He tipped his chin toward the stairs, toward the shadows of the quieter corner. “Need a word.”
Though he looked surprised, Mattheo gave a small nod and placed his drink on a couch table. He followed his best mate along the cold stone walls that seemed to swallow the loud thumping of the music. When they reached the stairs and immersed themselves in the shadows, the music seemed to grow slightly fainter, though still a prominent beat mirroring the one of Theo’s pulse. “I’ve got to talk to you about something,” he said, seriously, leaning against the wall and scanning Mattheo, gauging his mood, how quick he would be to snap.
Mattheo had had a great evening so far. He’d dunked one guy's head in the punch bowl, made out with both of the Patil twins and the firewhiskey from their new supplier was way better than the one they usually got from the hogshead. He sniggered at Theo’s grave expression. “What are you so serious for, Nott?” he drawled easily, already tipsy from the few rounds of firewhiskey. “Could we have one night where you don’t look like your nonna was just run over?”
Theo made no effort to conceal his scoff. Usually, he had his fun at these parties. Even if he didn’t present the most cheerful face, his needs would remain somewhat satisfied by the end of the night. He highly doubted that tonight would be the same. “It’s about your sister,” he said steadily, watching Mattheo’s grin change into a frown.
“Ah,” he said, sounding somewhat sobered up. “Heard you sorted out Campbell pretty bad this morning. What did he do?”
Vivid images of your wide, teary eyes flashed in Theo’s eyes, of the way that tramp Campbell had grabbed you, how pathetic he had looked this morning as a bloody, crumpled mess at his feet, begging for mercy. “No matter,” he said, remembering his promise to you. “It’s something else.”
“Merlin, Nott, you ‘re acting like she caught a deadly disease,” groaned Mattheo in exasperation, but Theo could see how his vague wording unnerved him. If there was one person Mattheo would burn down the world for, it was his sister. Theo understood the sentiment, but he didn’t like his practices. “Spit it out,” growled Mattheo, pushing himself off the wall to come closer. “Can’t be too bad, can it?”
“It can,” Theo said with pursed lips, knowing that the news he was about to share would bother Mattheo more than a natural disaster could- after all, he was one himself. Mattheo's face fell with the words, and his frown only deepend. “Why do I feel like I’m about to hate whatever comes next?”
It was the way Theo stood so still that caught your attention- a statue carved from tension, jaw locked, shoulders taught beneath his shirt. You almost missed it, lost in the relentless pull of the music and Pansy's hand tugging yours as you spun, but something inside you twisted, as if instinct was dragging your gaze to the far side of the room. and there they were. Theo and Mattheo, cornered in the shadows, their heads inclined towards each other. It was hard to read their body language through the sea of dancing people and flashing light, but you could make out the way Theo’s lips moved, wrapped around words that seemed to struggle their way past his lips.
In reaction to them, Mattheo leaned in, gaze dark and sharp, while Theo's fingers curled into fists at his sides, the muscles in his forearm twitching like live wire. The room around you seemed to blur at the edges, the pulse of the music fading into a distant hum. You couldn’t hear the words exchanged, but you didn’t need to to know that something was very, very wrong.
With a tug at her arm, you caught Pansy’s attention and inclined your head toward their tense figures. Pansy, who had lived through her fair share of dragging Mattheo away from fights, like all of his close friends, frowned, nudging you away from the thick knot of bodies that was the center of the room. Suddenly, your eyes caught the way Theo said something to Mattheo that made his jaw fall slack. Dread pooled in your stomach, your legs uncoordinated with the conflicting wishes to run or to get in between them. You decided upon the latter, slowly walking towards their corner as Mattheo’s hands curled into fists at his sides.
Mattheo laughed in Theo’s face, but it was devoid of any humour, no more than the promise of something darker, of impending doom. “You're joking,” he said, almost commanded.
Theo’s voice was steady, his gaze unwavering. “I’m not.”
But Mattheo seemed unwilling to accept the truth of his words. Shaking his head with a wild smile, he paced around the very limited space, knuckles turning white around the bottle he was holding. “No, no, no. You’re not.” But the hard look on Theo’s face made his face fall. The color seemed to vanish from his cheeks. Without a warning, his hands reached out and suddenly got a hold of the taller boy’s collar, the bottle meeting the ground with a soft thud that was drowned out by the music. Theo looked unfalteringly into Mattheo’s eyes that flickered between, desperately in search of a lie, a bad joke. But it didn’t come, and his group tightened on Theo’s shirt.
“Tell me you’ll end it,” he said, voice low and furious. “Right now.”
Theo didn’t flinch, though his eyes flickered to the side, where some partygoers had taken notice of the unfolding scene. Somewhere in the crowd, he made out your face, eyes widened in worry, as you approached them. “I won’t,” he said harshly to the other.
Mattheo’s face twisted into something sinister, a storm of fury darkening his features, cackling tension ready to break and unleash its fury. His knuckles whitened around Theo’s collar as he dragged him down until their foreheads almost touched. The dancing light of the common room danced around the sharp, clenched line of his jaw, the cold fury brimming in his eyes, and something else- betrayal. “What did you just say?” he breathed, voice dripping with quiet, lethal rage.
But Theo didn’t flinch, his jaw set, eyes steady. “I won’t,” he repeated, voice like iron. Mattheo’s fingers flexed, and it was all it took for his restraint to snap.
The first punch landed like a gunshot. Theo’s head snapped to the side, a sharp crack echoing through the corner of the room as Mattheo’s fist connected with his cheekbone. The force of it staggered him, but he didn’t fall- just wiped the blood from his split lip and squared his shoulders like he’d been waiting for this. Mattheo lunged, grabbing him by the shirt again and shoving him into the storm wall with enough force to rattle the torches. “You absolute piece of shit!” he spat, words laced with venom. “You fucking knew she was off limits!” His voice had risen to a loud snarl, sharp enough to cut through the party noises.
Theo shoved back, and the people broke apart when Mattheo and he faced each other, panting. Slipping from their haze, many of the party-goers turned in search of the origin of the shouting, and a crowd formed around them. And still, Theo didn’t back down. Didn’t say a word. He just stood there, blood smeared across his jaw, staring back at Mattheo like he’d let him tear him apart before he even thought of walking away from you.
But before Mattheo could deliver another punch, a familiar voice made the both of them whip around. “Mattheo, stop!” you shouted, out of breath, and stumbled in between them, into the no man’s land between their heaving bodies. When you looked at Mattheo, you saw the betrayal deeply etched into his features. They were twisted with hate and anger, every nerve tense, like a predator ready to pounce. When you turned to Theo, his heart clenched with a sharp pain far surpassing the one pulsing in his busted lip. Your eyes were full of worry and fear, clinging to the smear of blood on his chin.
But you turned to Mattheo sharply, likely sensing that he was just about ready to do everything- anything. His dark eyes were locked on Theo, he barely acknowledged you, his voice laced with disgust. “You had every girl in the castle, and you chose her?”
“I didn't choose,” replied Theo, suppressing the urge to pull your shaky figure into him, wrap his arms around you. “It just happened.”
“Yeah?” asked Mattheo, chest heaving with barely contained fury. “Well, it’s about to un-happen.”
“This isn’t just some fling, Mattheo,” you tried, taking a hesitant step towards your brother. But not even your pleading eyes could calm the storm raging inside him.
A bitter laugh left his throat, mocking you. “Right. Because you’re so special, huh? Always desperate to be wanted by someone.”
You knew he didn't mean it. That fury and shock twisted his words into something ugly and hurtful, meant to attack your weak points, meant to hurt. To disarm. And it was disarming. His words were like poison, seeping into your flesh, curling up in your stomach and echoing in your mind. Defensively, you squared your shoulders, but tears stung in your eyes.
For a moment, Mattheo almost seemed to falter, until Theo brushed past you in one fluid motion, gripped the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the nearest wall. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked sharply, shaking him by his shirt. Instead of an answer, Mattheo shook him off and threw a punch that Theo dodged. The next, however, met him square across the face as Mattheo lunged at him, absolutely livid.
The crowd gasped and screamed as they fell to the ground in a huddle of arms and legs, spitting insults at each other. When Theo rolled him over and got the upper hand for a second, he brought his fist down upon mattheo’s face and the following crack resounded against the stone walls. Spitting out blood, Mattheo shoved him off and tackled him with new fury.
Suddenly, you felt a strong tug at your arm, and before you knew it, Pansy had pulled you a few feet distance from the fight.
Meanwhile, both Mattheo and Theo got onto their feet again and Mattheo, face and shirt bloody, stumbled back a step, steadying himself against the wall. Theo stood upright, but his lip was dripping with blood and his shirt was ripped slightly. Mattheo’s eyes wandered from you to Theo, still ablaze with rage. but instead of attacking him again, he spat at Theo’s feet, turned on his heel and approached the exit, the crowd bursting apart where he walked.
When the entrance sealed itself behind him, stunned silence filled the room, thick as the previous heavy beat of the music. But someone had stopped the record player. The room seemed weirdly small without the thundering bass. Still rooted to the spot, Theo ran a bloody hand over his busted lip. Then, he slowly turned. When you looked into his eyes, you released a shaky breath. Slowly putting the pieces together, a round of whispers overtook the bystanders. And in one singular motion, all heads turned to your heaving figure.
The sad remains of some of the stargazing instruments lay scattered across the floor, unfortunate witnesses to Mattheo's wrath. Ripped parchment fluttered like the wings of trapped birds in the wind and the black board exhibited a large gash where he’d punched it in a fit of overflowing rage. They all were signs of the destrcutive storm that had rushed through, left nothing untouched. Now, it leaned against the stone railing, the remains of several cigarettes at his feet. But no smoke curled in the air above. Mattheo had smoked his lungs out until the pack was empty, and now, his leg rocked unsteadily, his fingers twitched and he glowered into the dark of the night.
He didn’t bother looking up when he heard Theo’s footsteps scuff against the stone floor, the creak of the door. His eyes remained fixed on the horizon like the stars might calm the fury blistering under his skin. But as the other neared the railing with slow but sure steps, he tracked every movement: the stiff set of Theo’s shoulders, the way he flexed his fingers like he was still shaking off the urge to hit something. His jaw was tight, a faint bruise blooming along his cheekbone, but he stood tall, steady, like he wasn’t the least bit sorry for what he’d done. It pissed him off, almost as much as the fact that he was in the wrong.
His eyes wandered down to his best mates hands once more, gaze flickering over the knuckles Theo hadn’t bothered to heal. “You look like shit,” Mattheo muttered, voice low and sharp, though the words carried less venom than they should have.
Theo rested his forearms against the railing next to him, though keeping a certain distance. His hands wrung, more blood seeping from his bashed in knuckles. Then, with a long sigh, one of them disappeared into his pocket and he glanced over at Mattheo, sizing him up. “Smoke?”
Mattheo gritted his teeth in frustration, hands curling into fists as he stared onto the lake. “Fuck yeah. I’ve run out.”
A rustling of clothing, a crackle of carton and then, Theo handed Mattheo a cigarette. The latter took it without comment, lighting it with a flick of his fingers and taking a slow drag. Smoke billowed out of his mouth as Theo next to him balanced another smoke between his bleeding lips and clicked a lighter to ignite it. He, too, took a languid drag of it, watching the smoke curl up into curious shapes before dissipating into the cool night air. As the calming effect made him able to stop the bouncing of his leg, Mattheo let out a scoff and blew smoke from his nose. “You really are a fucking bastard.”
For a few seconds, only the faint whisper of the wind around the castle walls filled the air. Then- “I can only promise you that I’ll be whatever she needs me to be,” Theo replied, carefully choosing his words.
A disbelieving, ironic chuckle stumbled past Mattheo’s lip, hanging in the tense air between them like the puff of smoke that accompanied it. “Well, aren’t you all righteous all of the sudden?”
Theo didn’t answer, but the lack of a response sounded as loud as a yell could have. Agitated, Mattheo tightened his grip on the cigarette, making sparks of embers gush from it and shine brightly until they were swallowed up by the dark. A frustrated growl left his lips. “Why did you have to fuck this up for me?”
“Fuck what up?” asked Theo, a sudden and unmistakable sharpness in his voice that made Mattheo turn his head to him. His brow was raised as he breathed out a string of smoke and eyed the other critically. “Your carefully crafted plan to validate yourself by keeping her close? Whether she's protected or not doesn't change who you are. But I don't think you really care about protection, do you? You only want to be her highest priority, because you’re no one else’s.”
Theo’s voice had grown more heated and he had inched closer. With a frustrated frown, Mattheo averted his eyes from him, angrier than ever at the fact that he knew there was truth to his words. But theo didn’t let up as he leaned in, forced Mattheo to hear the words. “You cling to her like it's her job to soothe your self-loathing. But she's not your mother, she's not your therapist, she's not your tool. I know you love her, so do I, but that means separating your protectiveness from your self-protection.”
There was another short silence, a silence thick with tension, brimming with their heated tempers. Finally, Mattheo scowled frustratedly and took another, long drag of his cigarette. His leg had started bouncing again. “You really are an asshole, Nott.” He waited for an answer, but Theo seemed to have said all he intended.
Agitated, Mattheo ran a hand through his dark curls, voice dropping to a harsh whisper. “Fuck, maybe you’re right. You know… in my whole damn life, the only people who ever accepted me- ever really accepted me- were you and her. You two saw the whole, stinking pile of shit that I am and you chose to stay. And now, you’re going behind my back.” He refused to meet Theo’s measuring stare, knowing he was too disconcerted to put up any sort of facade- especially around him. He’d never really fooled Theo, and it showed when he raised his voice.
“You’re scared,” he said calmly, throwing him a firm look when he scoffed, “Don’t be stupid, you can’t deny it. Just listen to yourself, mate. But being with me doesn’t mean she’ll leave you.”
A frustrated groan left Mattheo’s throat, his eyes fixed to the glint of moonlight, reflected on the steady waves of the lake. They rippled softly with each breeze. “Feels like you’re both turning your backs on me, just like the whole fucking world did,” he said, voice raw, fingers tightening around the railing until his knuckles stood out white.
“They turned on her too,” Theo argued sensibly, voice calmer and somehow softer as the topic turned to you. Mattheo noticed it with great dissatisfaction. “You only see your pain, Mattheo, but you didn’t soothe hers when you made her unapproachable to everyone but us.” Everything inside Mattheo denied the truth his words carried. After all he’d sworn himself he’d do for you, it hit him like another punch. But he was forced to admit that there was some sense in his words.
He’d always thought he alone could protect you properly- and Merlin, it stung that he might be wrong. Who was he kidding, he was wrong. “Shut the fuck up,” he gritted through clenched teeth.
Theo simply stomped out his cigarette, tone turning matter-of-fact. “I have nothing more to say. And you don't, either.”
Mattheo released a frustrated breath of air, scowling at the smoldering cigarette between his fingers. “How did it happen anyway?” he finally asked.
Theo dragged a hand through his curls. He leaned against the cold stone railing, jaw tight, voice low but steady. “It only started last night. At Slughorn's stupid party,” he admitted, glancing at Mattheo through the haze of smoke.
“I thought she went with Campbell?” asked Mattheo, quickly, and Theo narrowed his eyes at him. “I was getting there.” Averting his eyes to his hands, his expression darkened at the memory of the night. “Campbell cornered her. He had his filthy hands on her, saying things I won’t repeat. I got there just in time.” His voice sharpened, every word laced with venom. “Ripped him off her. This morning I made sure he wouldn’t forget why he shouldn’t try again.” Theo rubbed his thumb over his knuckles that were becoming scabby against the cool air. “She was shaken, mate. And you weren’t there. But I was. And I couldn’t- couldn’t leave her after that.”
Mattheo didn’t speak. The only sound was the distant crackle of the dying embers in his cigarette, the quiet rustle of wind tugging at their robes. He stood rigid, fingers curled into fists at his sides, jaw clenched so tightly a muscle ticked beneath his skin. Theo stayed still, letting the weight of his words linger, his chest rising and falling in slow, measured breaths. He didn’t look away, didn’t flinch under Mattheo’s glare- just waited. And when Mattheo finally exhaled, the sound was sharp, almost guttural, like he was trying to breathe out the ache that had settled in his bones. “What did you do to Campbell?” he finally asked in a business-like manner, though his glare was withering.
“Broke his nose. His jaw. Split his brow. Might've kicked a couple ribs in,” Theo said, deadpanning.
Mattheo paused, nodding slowly. “Good.”
“I don’t just care about her,” Theo pressed, seizing the moment as Mattheo looked somewhat appeased. “I protect her. I have and I will.”
Mattheo scoffed, but when he glanced back at Theo, his glare had turned into a frown, fury replaced by irritation. “You broke my nose, by the way,” he said gruffly, pointing to his blood-smeared face.
“You split my lip first,” countered Theo with a smirk, rubbing over his knuckles.
The reply earned a dark chuckle from Mattheo. “Fair trade for wrecking Campbell’s face, I guess.” With a sigh, he turned to lean against the railing with his side, his front turned towards Theo. With a flick of his wrists, he flicked ash into the night and studied Theo’s expression. “I get it, you know. Why she… why you.”
Theo glanced over, catching Mattheo looking almost pained at the admission. “Do you?”
Another groan left Mattheo’s lips as he flicked the burnt-out smoke off into the dark grounds of the castle, following the glowing embers with his eyes until they had merged with the dark. “I hate it,” he said lowly, “But yeah. i get it.” His eyes seemed to darken. “If she’s gonna be with someone, I’d rather it be the guy who fought me for her without flinching.”
The agitation was visible with the way his knee bounced, his fingers twitched and he averted his face from Theo’s piercing gaze. When he spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper. “Take care of her, man. Please.”
When Theo opened his mouth to speak and reassure him, however, he cut him off quickly, voice wavering slightly with the struggle to hide how affected he was. “You won’t have sex of course.” His face twisted with disgust at the idea. “Not until she’s at least twenty-five. Thirty. Never, actually,” he clarified, nodding to himself and giving Theo a very firm glare, pointing at him. “Don’t you lay hands on my little sister!”
“She’s not your little sister, mate,” said Theo, completely unfazed. “And it may already be too late for that.”
“You fucker!”
Theo descended the stone steps from the Owlery, hands stuffed into his pockets, the early morning chill clinging to his skin. A few students he passed nudged their friends and broke out into whispers, but he ignored them. It had only been a few hours, but the news of his and Mattheo’s showdown at the Slytherin party had already made its rounds. Not that he would have minded. The more people knew you were his, the better. It was as if his whole terrifying reputation had been crafted only to protect you now.
As Theo stepped into the nearly empty Great Hall, he spotted you sitting alone with Mattheo at the Slytherin table. The sight seemed to unravel something inside him. You were curled into the bench, hands wrapped around a mug, face lit with cautious disbelief. Mattheo sat back, arms slung over the back of the chair, looking exhausted but...relaxed. Like the weight of the world had shifted off his shoulders, even if he wasn’t quite sure where to put it yet.
Theo hesitated only for a second, then he walked over, passing all other house tables and walking up the Slytherin one. When you noticed him, your eyes widened, your lips parting as if you couldn’t quite believe he was still breathing, still standing. “So Mattheo wasn’t lying,” you said, breathlessly, looking up at him. “You actually survived.”
Theo’s lips twitched into a crooked grin as he dropped onto the bench beside you, thigh brushing against yours like it belonged there. "Told you I could be convincing," he muttered, voice low enough that Mattheo rolled his eyes but didn't argue.
Glancing shortly at Mattheo, you leaned over to place a quick peck on his lips- unaware how hungry it made him for more. With a sheepish smile, you parted from him, and he had to seriously restrain himself in order to not grab your face and clash his lips onto yours, making your breath hitch so deliciously in your throat.
Mattheo tossed a piece of toast onto his plate glaring at Theo like he still might throttle him for sport, but his voice lacked venom. “I told her if you break her heart, I'll break your legs,” he said, like he was commenting on the weather.
Theo just smirked, stretching his arm across the back of the bench, fingers ghosting over your shoulder. “Fair trade,” he murmured, turning to you with a glint in his eye. “Guess you’re stuck with me now, huh?”
And the way you smiled back- hesitant, relieved, a little in awe- made every bruise worth it.
a/n: the writing process of this was kind of cursed (deleted documents, unsaved changes etc) so I'm just so glad I managed to get it out. I hope you like it!
So... I never actually intended for 'to die in your arms tonight' (brother's bsf! theo x riddle!reader) to have a part two, but instead to publish a new oneshot (see navigation board -> planned publications for further information). But I got a lot of comments/asks asking for another part to fully wrap up the storyline (including mattheo's reaction to it etc.). So, I'm leaving it up to you and if there is a call for a part two, I shall answer it with pleasure 🤗
-> when his sister attends a slughorn party with a date, mattheo asks his best friend to watch over her at the party, oblivious to the fact that theo is exactly the type of guy he wants to protect her from.
-> brother's bsf!theodore nott x riddle!reader; eventual nsfw; minors dni; cw: attempted harassment, mentions of violence, self-doubt, smut; nsfw tags: oral fem receiving, soft dom!theo, dirty talk, lots of praise; sadly there was some error with the tags and I couldn't tag some people, but I still hope you all found your way here!
( masterlist )
The Astronomy Tower loomed high above the castle grounds, bathed in the silver glow of the moon. It reflected against the fragile stargazing instruments and illuminated hastily drawn star charts, carelessly left behind on desks. The parchment swayed gently in the light breeze. A chill clung to the stone, the wind whispering through the open archways, carrying the faint scent of night-blooming flowers from the greenhouses below.
Occasional gusts of wind ruffled the edges of Theo’s robes as he leaned against the stone railing, lazily rolling a cigarette between his fingers. The flick of his lighter cast a brief, golden glow across his sharp features- dark brows drawn in quiet focus, the angle of his jaw, the faint shadow of his curls. The ember flared as he took a slow drag, exhaling a thin stream of smoke into the cold night air.
The hurried sound of footsteps echoed from the stairwell, unmistakable, even if it hadn't been a nightly recurrence. Theo didn’t turn; he didn’t need to. He knew that stride, the way it carried that reckless edge of carelessness, like the world bent around its owner rather than the other way around. When Mattheo stepped into the moonlight, Theo paid him no mind.
As usual, he displayed quite a different way of carrying himself compared to Theo, as many fates the two boys might have shared. Mattheo’s dark curls were disheveled, his tie loosened to a proletarian extent and the top buttons of his shirt were undone, as if he hadn't bothered with them in the first place.
Upon spotting Theo’s dark figure against the railing, he strode towards him and leaned his forearms against the metal as well. “You’re early,” Mattheo muttered, his voice low and rough around the edges. Not that he had checked the clock, but their nightly habit of going for a smoke to the astronomy tower was so well established even the slightest changes stood out like a sore thumb.
Turning around to lean his back against the balustrade instead, Mattheo shoved his hands into his pockets and tilted his head slightly until Theo glanced back at him. Not even Theodore Nott’s cold demeanor could deter Mattheo from flashing a grin and indicating the burning cigarette dangling from his fingers. “Got another?” He caught the pack of smokes when Theo threw it over with the aim of an experienced chaser, and shook out one to light it and take a long drag out of it. The smoke from his cigarette mingled with the cloud curling lazily from the other’s lips and disappeared into the night.
For a few minutes, there was a silence, though not uncomfortable. Rather established, like they had practiced it a million times before. Which wasn’t that far from the truth. Only, today, something was different. As Theo's observant eyes spared Mattheo's oddly tense figure another quick glance, they didn't miss the way he squeezed the smoke tightly in his hand and tapped his fingers against his thigh in an irregular, agitated rhythm. He wasn’t one to pry, a quality he knew Mattheo appreciated about his company, so he simply took another drag of his cigarette and waited for the other to reveal the source of his irritation.
As he’d thought, he didn’t have to wait long- Mattheo had a certain need for communication, at least with him. “Do you know that Campbell guy?” he asked gruffly, clear disdain laced into his tone. When Theo’s brows furrowed, Mattheo twisted his cigarette in impatience, causing embers to rain down upon the stone floor where they faded into darkness. Since Mattheo wasn’t bloody for once, Theo could only assume Campbell still had it coming for him. “Bloke from Gryffindor. Seventh year. Ring a bell?” he elaborated darkly and glared at one of the instruments.
It did. Terry Campbell, a Gryffindor with the head of a bowling ball and the intellect of a demented slug. No wonder he had felt no desire to remember him by name, Campbell was everything he despised cramped into a single person: a loud-mouthed, ignorant, vainglorious and utterly unintelligent Buffoon, lacking all forms of taste, too loud to listen and to dumb to learn. The sort of person that tended to irritate and bore him at the same time, the worst combination for Theo.
Blowing another stream of smoke into the frail moonlight, he let out a small scoff. “What about him?”
“Well,” Mattheo pressed through gritted teeth, in a particularly bitter tone. “He’s taking my sister to Slughorn’s party on Saturday.”
Fuck no.
Instead of smoke, Theo seemed to have swallowed a mouthful of ice as his insides twisted like a vice. A sick, burning coiled in his cut as he turned, abruptly, to Mattheo, full of disbelief. “What?” he asked sharply, all sophistication forgotten in the wake of this news. There was no way in hell you were going to Slughorn’s party with Terry Campbell, your brother had to be joking. Merlin, how he desperately wished he was.
Mattheo seemed to share the sentiment, judging by the looks of his bitter curl of lip and the way he flicked his cigarette to the ground, grinding his boot down on it hard. “Yeah,” he muttered gloomily. “I can’t fucking believe it, I though she had some standards. I’m telling you, she’s just picked him to annoy me!”
But his raging fell on deaf ears as Theo turned away and stared down on the greenhouses, a sharp, ugly weight settling in his chest. No reaction too intense could betray the surge of hate that was welling up inside him, or your brother would know, would piece it together… Brutal, white-hot anger pulsed through him, but Theo kept his hands still and his features unmoved, safe for a subtle clench of his jaw. Theo had mastered the art of keeping his composure, but he was faced with a challenge now.
You. Going to one of Slughorn’s stupid parties with Terry Campbell of all people. He squeezed the smoke out between his fingers, the embers burning into his fingertips and the pain helped him to regain his self control.
Unlike him, you’d taken advantage of your invitation to go to Slughorn’s parties before, but you’d never had a date. If Theo was honest with himself, he wouldn’t have taken kindly to anyone taking you out on a date, quite the opposite, but he couldn’t believe that someone like you would lower themselves onto Campbell’s level. He’s pretty popular, a small voice remarked, but he shut it up immediately- you were everything but shallow. Even insinuating it was ridiculous. But what on earth were you thinking?
Maybe Campbell was the only boy at school you wouldn’t feel sorry for when he inevitably landed in the hospital wing- as the few dates you’d ever had had done after Mattheo found out about them. ‘She’s not yours’ the voice in the back of his head reminded him, ‘you have no right to meddle in who she’s dating’. And it was true. Unlike your brother, Theo still had enough sense to remind himself that you could do what you wanted, could date who you wanted, could take anyone you wanted to Slughorn’s party. It was your decision, as much as he hated it, detested the very thought. He knew you, you had to have put some thought into your decision.
“Listen, mate,” Mattheo said, striking a new tone. He now seemed strangely business-like, leaning over on the railing and looking to meet Theo’s gaze. “‘M not part of Slughorn’s club. I know you hate his parties, but-”
Theo sensed where he was going with this and grabbed his pack of cigarettes back from Mattheo, taking one out before storing it deep in his coat pocket. Damn it, he’d promised you only to smoke one per smoking session. But these were quite challenging circumstances to keep up his promises. As he flicked the lighter and ignited the smoke dangling from his lips, Mattheo leaned in conspiratorially.
“Fucking hell, you know I wouldn’t be asking you this if I saw another way! Come on, you’re almost as bad as me when it comes to watching out for her. So when I’m not there? Go full big-brother mode.”
Theo’s lips curled sarcastically as he huffed out another cloud of smoke. Little did your brother know that his protectiveness over you didn’t stem from any platonic or even sibling-like urges. Little did Mattheo know that Theo was one of the boys he would love to approach with a club, one of the boys who enjoyed your company a little too much, whose eyes lingered on your lips when you laughed, who relished even your most fleeting touches and glances. Who pictured feeling your lips on his in moments of every-day boredom and trusted the night with his dark, guilty dreams of worshipping you like you deserved, fucking you stupid, having you writhe and moan in his sheets.
“I’m not saying you should start something,” Mattheo pressed on, oblivious to the raging self-loathing of his best mate. “Just… don’t let him get too comfortable.” His gaze darkened. “I just need someone there where I know that, if Campbell so much as lays a hand on her wrong, he’s leaving in worse shape than he arrived.” When he could draw out neither reaction nor response from Theo, he groaned in exasperation. “Merlin, Nott, you and I both know she’s too damn nice for this.”
The conflicting desires to keep an eye on Campbell around you on the one, and suppressing his possessiveness on the other hand were grappling with each other, as Theo stared down to the large black mass that was the dark forest. Adding to that that, he didn’t know how much his composure might waver when subjected to the sight of you laughing and dancing with another guy. And one so utterly undeserving of your attention and kindness, at that.
But Mattheo did have a point; though, as so often, he had a crude way of expressing it. You were too kind for your own good, too vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Yet, you were smart and good at seizing up situations, and if Campbell attempted to manipulate you - provided he even had one brain cell for something like subtlety - you’d see right through him.
“Come on, mate, she’s my little sister,” said Mattheo seriously and Theo turned to him with a raised brow.
“She’s two minutes older than you.”
Mattheo rolled his eyes, seemingly unconcerned with such feeble matters as time or birth order. “Yeah,” he admitted begrudgingly, “But, like, mentally.” To emphasize his point, he tapped his index finger against his temple to indicate just where the true age lay.
But Theo’s unimpressed brow only rose higher as he scoffed. “Non fare il rompicazzo. She’s also way more mature than you,” he added, unwilling to get into whatever line of argumentations Mattheo had strung together to justify his feelings.
“Not with boys!” exclaimed Mattheo heatedly and pushed against the railing, making Theo shake his head in annoyance. These antics were absolutely childish, he’d trust your judgement over your brothers any day, irrespective of the fact that he was his closest friend.
“And how many boys did you sleep with?” he drawled, blowing out another gust if smoke that swirled and danced in the air above. For a split second, it balled up and formed a shape suspiciously resembling your face before Theo got his instinctive magic back under control.
Mattheo hadn’t looked up, too busy with snapping at him: “I am one! I know how they think!” His glare was now directed at Theo, who paid it no mind, rolling his words around in his head. Mattheo had a point. It wasn’t like he himself didn’t know how desirable you were, how seductive, by doing nothing more than existing, though he may have been prejudiced by his feelings for you.
But it wasn’t merely the way he knew he would look at you, at your smile that he didn’t deserve, Theo knew that there were certain boys at this school who wouldn’t mind having their way with you, just to brag to their friends about having had the Dark Lord’s daughter, the unapproachable, rigorously protected Slytherin princess as some had named you- much to your displeasure. Both Mattheo and him had retraced rumors of this talk where they could and made any boy who saw you as nothing more than a challenge, a piece of meat, regret his very existence. Theo didn’t know if Campbell was one of them, but he was definitely thick enough to qualify.
And what if he did force you to do something you didn’t want to? His jaw clenched impossibly tight, close to snapping as he banned the unwelcome images from his head and balled his fists around the smoke, making embers fly and get picked up by a sudden breeze. “Get out of my head, Riddle,” he threatened and felt the uncomfortable ick subside, but the very same determination shone in Mattheo’s eyes when he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Go to the damn party and keep an eye on her,” he countered. “Please.” The last word, he barely managed to grit out and Theo’s eyes snapped up at him in surprise. Never had he known his best mate to ask for something, Mattheo was one to take, take, take. But the desperation of his situation seemed to drive him to new extremes.
This fact, if nothing else, made him rethink his previous stance. You didn’t have to know, after all. And wasn’t it really also the fact that he had no ambitions to spend the evening watching you laugh and dance with another man, longing to be the one to hold your hand and make you smile, yearning to be the one you dressed up all pretty for?
“Alright,” he finally sighed and Mattheo, moods changing so quickly it would’ve given any other whiplash, hit the air with his fist and patted Theo’s shoulder roughly.
“Knew I could count on you.”
It wasn’t as if you lit up in his presence- no, that would be ridiculous. It was just that his mattress was much more comfortable than yours, his rome tidier despite the constant stacks of books, his presence a steady rock of the kind that made the world outside seem a little less violent.
Or maybe, if you were being honest with yourself, it was the way his breathing filled the quiet, unhurried and even, grounding you without even trying. The way he always stretched out opposite you on his four-poster, all long legs and quiet confidence, never filling the comfortable silence with pointless chatter. Or maybe it was simply the way he made you feel- something warm, something steady, yet fluttering curiously from time to time, like the wings on a butterfly. Something you didn’t dare think about too closely.
Theo leaned back against the headboard, long legs stretched out, one ankle crossed over the other as he absentmindedly tapped his quill against the open pages of his book. He wasn’t reading- not really. His eyes flicked over the words without taking them in, his focus instead drifting to the steady scratch of your quill beside him, the way you chewed on it in thought, completely absorbed in the history of magic essay you were writing.
The windows he’d enchanted for you when you’d mentioned how the lack of natural light in Slytherin house weighed on your state of mind sometimes allowed the rays of an afternoon sun to spill across the bed in hazy streaks, catching on the sharp angles of his jaw, the slight furrow of his brow as he exhaled through his nose, shifting slightly. It was comfortable, familiar- the two of you working in the quiet, legs brushing every now and then as books and parchment lay scattered around on the bed.
You finished your essay with a winning final sentence you knew Professor Binns would not be able to appreciate and looked up from the parchment for the first time in an hour, only to find Theo’s eyes flicking down to his page once more, like a kid caught ogling candy bars it wasn’t allowed to touch. His book lay open on his lap, but you could tell he wasn’t reading- his eyes skimmed the words too quickly, his fingers drummed too idly against the pages.
Rolling onto your backside, you let your legs dangle off the bed and enjoyed the relief of tension in your lower back. Your eyes rested upon him, as if daring him to steal another glance at you and betray himself and his faux reading. But he seemed to sense the silent challenge and didn’t look up from the pages once, though you thought you saw the faintest ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. He turned a page.
“When are you going to stop pretending you are reading that?” you asked with an amused smile and his lips twitched. But his eyes didn’t leave the pages, still stubbornly pretending to take in the words.
You knew better, you knew his face, better than you knew most faces, because he’d let you look at it for minutes at a time without interruption. Let you map out every crease, every mark upon his skin, all the perfections and imperfections. You had learned his features and the slight changes in his expression better than you’d ever learned to master your own. It was kind of a must, if one wasn’t your brother and wished to interact on eye level with Theodore Nott.
“I am,” he said softly, running his fingers down the next page. For some reason, the sight had you suppress a light shudder, even though the room was quite warm. Warmer than most of the Slytherin dorms. You had wondered before if the enchanted sunlight could provide actual warmth, or if it was a delusion, a trick of mind.
“Alright,” you said, welcoming the challenge and shifting onto your side to prop your head up on your palm. “What’s it about?”
His eyes snapped up at you and sucked all the breath out of your lungs. The false sunlight fell upon his face and made his cerulean eyes shine with disarming intensity. Or maybe you had only imagined that, because he blinked and, though still stunning, his eyes melted into a soft caress down your face to your ink-splattered hands.
When you raised your brows at him, having never quite mastered the art of raising one brow, unlike him, he glanced back at the page for half a second. “Words. Sentences. A truly thrilling analysis of … something.”
You laughed and managed to elicit the smallest of smiles from him. A huge feat, as anyone who knew him would tell you. “You’re the worst study partner,” you said, an accusatory finger pointed at him.
Theo only raised his brow in return, giving you a look of superiority. “You say that, but you’re still here.” His gaze wandered over the open books you’d used for research. “You steal my books more than you read your own, dolcezza.”
“What can I say?” you sighed, feigning regret. “Your books are just better.”
Now, a smirk tugged at his lips as he stretched a little. “Or you just like an excuse to be in my bed.”
Laughing wholeheartedly, you grabbed the book you’d been using most adamantly by the spine and threw it at Theo, who caught it with unwavering certainty. As if he were seeing it for the first time, he turned it around in his hands, maybe trying to remember when he’d bought it.
If there was something he loved to spend money on, it was books. And he did have the means to, his family’s inestimable wealth at his expense whenever he stepped into a bookstore or got you ridiculously expensive christmas gifts to tease you for your indignation at the price. Which was probably why he left it on.
“Your taste in literature is excellent, carina. Your taste in men? Debatable.” If only he knew. An airy chuckle made its way past your lips as you looked down on your ink-covered hands. If there was any man you’d ever desired, it was him. Not just in the physical sense, but in the way his many hookups could not- like this, friendly, bantery, in the midst of heaps of books and parchment as the sun illuminated his beautiful features.
If your brother knew you were in a boy’s dorm, in a boy’s bed, even if it was his best mate, he’d lose his mind- even more so than he already had.
“So, Mattheo told you?” you asked in a falsely casual tone, but watched him carefully out of the corner of your eye. Your friendship with Theo had always been special. In your earlier years at this school, when Mattheo had been insanely clingy, he was the only other boy he allowed you to spend time with.
But Theo was no brother surrogate to you, as Mattheo assumed, wrongly. Though your feelings for him were intimate, they were far too less innocent to be considered fraternal. When Mattheo wasn’t around, in moments like these, you were quite flirtatious, just teetering the edge between friendship and something more. Only in the privacy of his dorm did Theo let nicknames besides topolina slip.
You’d always been more on a wavelength with Theo than with your brother, or any of your friends for that matter. He matched your wit and humor, shared many of your interests and was just as academically ambitious. Laying on his bed, exchanging playful banter and teasing nicknames, there always was a spark, paired with the silent understanding it could never be ignited.
Sometimes, you caught his eyes lingering on you. Even the touch of his hands was deliberate, as he seemed to take advantage of each innocent excuse to get his hands on you. Then, there was his intricate way of words, managing to make you blush and doubt your very existence at the same time. All in all, Theo was both your best friend and most forbidden desire- because he was your brother’s best friend as well. Your brother, who had been throwing a hissy-fit any time the topic of you dating came up.
But Theo didn’t answer, only turning a page in the book he wasn't reading. Not one twitch or movement could betray his agitation but the hard line of his jaw, clenched almost indiscernibly. His silence was a quiet accusation he didn't need to utter for it to linger in the air between you.
You didn't like it when something stood between you in these moments of his sole company, when Mattheo didn't have his hawk eyes on your every move. Moments you relished, and didn't want to be tainted by petty drama between you and your brother, who’d already ruined enough, especially when it was about something as irrelevant as your date for Slughorn's party. Or maybe it wasn't so irrelevant. Merlin, how you wished that it mattered to him.
“I can hear the gears turning in your head, Theo,” you said quietly when he even gave up pretending to be reading and instead stared gloomily at the pages as if they'd personally wronged him. You knew he didn't like many Gryffindors, something he had in common with Mattheo while you preferred not to take part in house rivalries. And Terry Campbell embodied all the worst traits of Gryffindor- no wonder he didn't like him.
“Care to share?” you asked and looked up at him from the sheets with the doe eyes that always worked on Mattheo.
Meeting your eyes, finally, Theo closed the book with a quiet thud and pierced you with his infamous stare- though it was not as sinister as usual. “I don’t have to say anything, you already know what I think,” he said matter-of-factly, leaning back against the headboard once more like he was done with the conversation. But his fingers kept tapping restlessly against the now closed book on his lap.
“You could at least pretend to approve,” you proposed, dragging yourself into a sitting position and propping your head up on your fist with folded legs.
Theo clicked his tongue impatiently and threw you another ill-tempered look. “I could also throw myself off the astronomy tower, but I don’t see the point in either.” There was a certain finality in his tone that you would have respected any day- any day but this one.
“I know you don’t like Terry,” you said, unwilling to give up in your attempts to establish proper eye contact. “Granted, he’s a little intellectually challenged.” At these words, his eyes snapped up at you and he raised a brow, a mixture of amusement and indignation at your rather courteous assessment. But you didn’t even let him speak, you knew his silvery sweet words would wrap themselves around you and render you inarticulate. So you continued quickly, in a quiet but firm voice. “This isn’t about who I want to go out with, it’s about proving I get to choose.”
His pensive eyes studied you as you awaited his reaction, fully aware that he must have concluded this already- or at least included it in his speculations. You were hoping he had, that he had not trusted you to fall for a douche like Terry Campbell. He tilted his head slightly, considering you, his prominent brows furrowed. “And if you’re choosing wrong?” he finally asked, holding your gaze with the certainty of a man who always had the last word.
But you held his gaze, drank in the thrill of losing yourself in his cerulean eyes, and shrugged. “Then at least it’s my mistake to make.”
Theo paused, then exhaled, shaking his head at you. When he tapped his fingers on the rim of his book, your eyes clung to them. A trap, and one you would step in gladly. His long fingers, the rough pads on his tips where he squished his cigarettes with his own hands, the prominent veins. Their movements were always so calculated, so elegant. Outside of Nott manor, he rarely played the piano, but when he did, it truly was a sight to behold. To see his spidery fingers run up and down the keys, eliciting such sweet serenades from the instruments you thought he’d have to have hexed it.
His voice pulled you out of your wandering thoughts as his mouth twitched with a sarcastic smile. “You sound like him, you know that?”
A light laugh stumbled from your lips as you pretended to look indignant- but, unlike him, you’d never been a good actor. “That’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to me.” But your laugh subsided quickly, the desire for him to understand, not only your motive but the importance of it, burning inside you. If someone had to understand, it was him. If you answered to anyone, it was him.
It was impossible to look at him. Not when he had leaned forward slightly at the sound of your little laugh, something shifting in his eyes, something unspoken and impossible to speak, something keeping you locked in place. So you averted your eyes, kept them firmly on the ground and pretended to be interested in a fly whirring in the false rays of sun. “But you understand, don’t you? It’s not about the date, or the party, or Terry. It’s about the fact that Mattheo never trusts me to handle myself. So I will have to prove him that I can be trusted with- with boys, and parties, and life.”
Though you did not look up at him, you could feel his gaze boring into your skull, studying your every expression. He had the natural talent of a careful observer, whereas you had had to learn it, given your circumstances. There was no point in concealing your frustration or disappointment in Mattheo, when Theo could decipher every twitch of your features, pry every drawn curtain apart, look into your very soul. And what would you be hiding something from him for, anyways? Except for your utter devotion to him, of course. Your most strongly concealed and obvious secret.
“Maybe he just doesn’t trust the world to hurt you,” his voice sounded, smooth and pensive, making it impossible not to agree with every word he said. And he was right, of course. But he wasn’t you. And he’d be a hypocrite if he agreed with you. His voice carried more than observation- self-revelation. It wasn’t just him who could decipher codes.
Drawing back the curtains yourself, you turned to him and opened yourself up to his endless, infallible analysis. “Then he should have more faith in me than fear of them.”
The words lingered as you considered each other, and his brow twitched lightly. Instinctively, you were certain you were thinking of exactly the same situation: two weeks ago, at breakfast, when a sixth year Slytherin you didn’t even know had made an unflattering comment about you, loud enough for people to hear but not loud enough that he thought he’d get in trouble for it. Well, the joke was on him, because Theo next to you had picked up on it and had tensed up so quickly you looked at him in alarm, trying to signal him that you didn't care about this kind of talk.
But of course, he knew you better than that, knew it bothered you, and when you’d seen the look in his eyes you had forever regretted crying in his arms about the unforgiving image people had of you, how you would never get rid of your father’s shadow looming over you, how no one would give you a chance. Mattheo and you both had your ways of dealing with your familiar associations. He drank, drugged and fucked himself into oblivion, you spent nights slaving away in the library until Theo dragged you to bed and allowed you to fall asleep with his warm hand on your back.
Before you could have even attempted to talk him out of it, Theo had stood up from the table and met the boy in a few strides. He hadn't even needed to pull out his wand, his voice low and dangerous as he had given the guy one chance to take it back. He had. Fast.
Your soft but slightly bitter laugh broke the silence. “You know what’s funny? If I actually needed him, if I actually needed someone to fight for me- he’d be the first one there. But when I don’t, when I just want to live my life- he’s still the first one there. Stopping me.” With a disheartened huff, you shifted on the bed, but didn’t avert your eyes. And neither did he.
Theo studied you for a long moment, during which nothing but the faintest echo of voices from the common room was to be heard. But silence had never been uncomfortable between you and Theo. Where Mattheo was a roaring whirlwind, Theo was the eye of the storm, the illusion of stillness, of being cut off from the rest of the world, uncaring whether it would be swept away in a single blow as long as you had him.
After observing you for a long moment, Theo nodded slightly. “I know. But…,” he leaned forward, his voice low but with a certain edge, the only indication of a growing intensity simmering behind his ever-calm composure. “Terry Campbell is such a dimwit he doesn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you, principessa. You could have asked anyone. anyone. And you picked the first desperate idiot who came your way?”
The small laugh you let out was more comparable to a bitter scoff. “Would anyone else have said yes?”
It was rare to spot genuine confusion on Theo’s face, but now, his brows were furrowed in puzzlement. A little, self-depricating smile tugged at your lips; of course he wouldn’t understand. Or was it just pretense to make you feel better?
“Terry has ambitions of playing Quidditch for England one day and has been trying to get into Slughorn’s good graces for ages because he has contacts in the league.” You shrugged, avoiding his eyes. “I knew he’d say yes.”
He was staring at you, his expression unreadable, even for you. Or perhaps, you didn’t want to look too closely. Perhaps, you were afraid of what you might discover, simmering behind those watercolor eyes. “Sei seria? You think that’s the only reason he said yes?”
With a defeated little shrug, you attempted a weak smile and failed miserably, a sudden weight seemed to weigh the corners of your mouth down. Lifting them was like lifting a great weight. “What other reason would there be?”
Finally, the stony expression on his face dissolved into a deep frown, even darker than his usual, gloomy expression. With a humourless scoff, he shook his head. “Dio, you actually believe that.” It wasn’t a question but a realization, and you gave no answer or reaction.
You were tired of him pretending, or simply not understanding your predicament. Of course he wouldn’t; in spite of his parentage, he still had countless girls throwing themselves at him. But you were used to Theo understanding you fully and thoroughly, nodding in recognition when you told him about your struggles, your likes, your opinions, and giving him the same grace. Perhaps you were spoiled. Perhaps, it wasn’t as simple as you thought. Perhaps, it was just you.
“I knew he was the only one desperate enough to be my date,” you said in a tone you hoped would come off as matter-of-fact and indifferent. “Really, I should be grateful I found anyone.”
“Odio quando parli così,” muttered Theo under his breath and you tried to piece the sentence together with your less than stellar knowledge of the Italian language. But before you could fully grasp the meaning of the sentence, Theo’s sharp voice cut through the air, forcing your attention back on him and the bitter intensity brimming behind his frown. “So, this is your clever little plan to get Mattheo off your back?”
There was no longer the slightest hint of humour in his tone, he sounded almost angry, and you recoiled slightly. “It’s not perfect, I admit.”
“You don’t pick the first cretino who sees an angle and call it a choice,” Theo cut you off. You realized his accent was getting more noticeable as he spoke, and the English language failed to express the true weight of his feelings as he slipped in more Italian words or phrases. It was a clear indicator that cool and calculated Theodore Nott was growing more heated, and you found it undeniably and inappropriately attractive. But he still failed to see your perspective in this.
“What else would I have done?” you asked in return, voice growing a little sharper as well. “Waited for someone who wasn’t coming?”
It wasn’t meant to come off as an accusation, but nevertheless, Theo tore his eyes away and gritted his teeth, jaw tight and exhaling through his nose. “Stronzata,” he cursed and glared at the book in his lap, as if it were somehow responsible for this whole mess. You couldn’t help but laugh softly at his inability to grasp a situation when he was usually the most observant person in the room.
Surprised, he looked at you and you shook your head, trying to keep the bitterness out of your voice. “No boy at this school would come into one foot proximity to me.” You bit down on your lip and avoided his intense, angry eyes. “I like to tell myself it’s just because of my … familiar affiliations, but maybe that simplifies things too much. I mean, look at you. Look at Mattheo! Maybe I’m just not, well, desirable.” You were a little ashamed of the words, and even more appalled at the way your voice trembled slightly before you got it back under control.
But when you looked up once more, you realized the error you’d made, letting him hear your somewhat self-deprecating, but in your eyes plausible interpretation. Before he could talk, you interrupted him as he drew his breath, undoubtedly to tell you you were wrong- just what you wanted to hear, of course. “It’s not that deep, Theo,” you said calmingly, unwilling to make a whole thing out of it. This stupid date had already impacted your day enough. “He was available, and I-”
But Theo cut you off, voice low and rough and carrying an edge he didn’t usually direct towards you. “El basta. Enough. You’re actually pissing me off now.”
Despite yourself, you raised your brows in weak amusement. “You’re always pissed off.”
Eyes narrowed, he pointed at you with the unread book. “Not at you. Not like this.”
After his words, silence settled thick between you, exceptionally uncomfortable in comparison to your usual quiet harmony. Maybe because it felt heavy, charged, pressing itself into the space between you on the bed like an unwelcome visitor. It seemed to stretch unbearably long, pressing against your skin like a weight.
Theo sat still, but everything about him was taut- his shoulders tense, his jaw clenched, one hand curled to a fist atop the duvet, the other grabbing the back of his book as if he meant to crush it into dust. His gaze flickered to you once, dark and unreadable, before snapping back down, as if looking at you only stoked the embers of whatever was burning behind his ribs. The air between you felt charged, humming with remnants of his anger, with the frustration he hadn't fully exhaled. His breath came slow and measured, as if he was forcing himself to stay composed.
You hated it. Theo was your best friend, maybe even the love of your life, and fighting with him was exhausting. With a sigh, you turned your whole body to him and gave him a hesitant, pleading look. “I don’t want to fight. Not when this is one of the few moments when my brother doesn’t interrupt our t- my study sessions.”
You cut yourself off, having no interest in loading the buzzing air with more tension. Tension that would be inevitable, if you were true about how important this was for you. How important he was to you. “Let’s not waste it, okay?” you asked, pleadingly, and thought you saw the cold diamond of his eyes soften a little. “I’ll stop mentioning it.”
For a few seconds, he observed you pensively, but you could see him melt behind his unmoved facade. His icy stare warmed slightly and the sharp turn around his mouth eased, jaw and fists unclenching. Something like regret flashed over his face, too fast to pin down. You opened your mouth to speak again, but he wordlessly patted the spot next to him and you fell silent. Following the silent order, you scurried over and he made room for you between him and the wall, propping up his pillow against the headboard for you to lean back comfortably.
You settled down next to him, in the little space there was. His legs were brushing yours, but he didn’t seem to mind, and you surely didn’t. Slowly, giving him the chance to move away or make some other dismissive gesture, you lowered your head and, when he didn’t move, rested it upon his shoulder. It fit into the curve of his body like a puzzle piece and you relished in the warmth, real warmth, body warmth, against your side.
When he raised a hand to card his fingers through your hair in a gesture of such tenderness you’d never seen him bless someone else with something even close to it, you breathed a sigh of relief and nestled deeper into the crook of his neck, closing your eyes. The rough pads of his fingers drew deliberate patterns on your scalp as he rested his chin on top of your head and his breathing finally calmed into a natural rising and falling of his chest. When he spoke, his voice was much quieter than before, measured but intense. “You don’t understand, do you? You could’ve had anyone.”
He spoke like he believed every word, sounded so convinced you almost believed him. Almost. Until the inevitable prying of reality nagged you again. “Then why didn’t I?”
Theo’s voice dropped even lower, rumbling in his chest and vibrating against the ear that rested against his body. “Maybe because no one is stupid enough to think they deserve you.” His voice still carried a certain edge, but this time, it wasn’t directed at you. More like the contrary. His hand wandered from your hair to your neck, rubbing slow circles on your tense muscles and eliciting a slight groan from you as you realized how tight they were clenched. Shaking his head, Theo seemed to be muttering to himself. “Che spreco.” (what a waste)
Narrowing your eyes slightly, you translated the short sentence in your head and were proud to reach a certain level of understanding. “What is?” you asked, hoping the question not only fitted your translation but also his actual statement. His fingers stilled against your neck, fingertips barely brushing against the skin so that you had to suppress a shudder. You, of course, couldn’t see the smug expression on his face as he noticed the way your skin broke out into goosebumps. The air was heavy with another form of tension now.
“That you think so little of yourself,” he explained, “That you let people like him think they're doing you a favor.” His voice was dripping with disdain and you interlocked your pinkie fingers, unwilling to fight him over the issue.
The silence that settled between you now was different- just as heavy, just as charged, but warmer, thicker, curling at the edges with something unspoken, but not uncomfortable. The tension no longer sat sharp between you, there was no room for it anyway. It lingered instead in the space where your bodies touched, in the light brush of your thigh against his, in the synchronising rise and fall of your chests. Theo had relaxed back against the headboard, but his fingers toyed absentmindedly with the collar of your shirt -something he'd never do in the presence of your brother.
Another thing reserved for these private moments was his touch. His pinkie squeezed yours before he removed his hand to place it on the back of your thigh, lifting it slightly to guide it to rest on top of his. Your breath hitched in your throat as his fingers brushed along the fabric of your thights and you hid your blush in the crook of his neck. If your brother saw you like this with any boy, he’d be flung into a fit of rage. But alas, he wasn't here, you reminded yourself, as you melted into his touch.
But it wasn't like he would be wrong to assume. The way Theo touched you, the tenderness of his caresses, was more befitting of a boyfriend rather than a friend. But it had been that way for a while. And neither of you dared say something, enjoying the touch of a lover without the fear of retaliation. You could feel his gaze flicker to you, gauging your reaction, lingering just a second too long on your slightly flushed face before pulling away, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to look.
The air in the room felt warmer, your skin prickling with awareness at every shift of movement, every slight brush of fabric against fabric. Neither of you spoke. The silence stretched, thick and taut, but neither of you dared to break it, as if speaking aloud would make something tip over the edge, something neither of you could take back.
Instead of speaking, his fingers released your neck and wandered to your chin, lifting it from his neck. He turned to you, and your heart began to race when you found your lips mere breaths away from his, his eyes glinting with an unknown intensity that had you wondering whether he might actually be willing… be ready to…
When the tension mounted and became unbearable, you jolted upright and averted your face to hide your blush. Your chest was so tight you felt like you couldn’t breathe, you only knew you had to get some space between you and him, so you scurried away, brushed down your skirt and stood up from the bed.
Only then did it occur to you to think of an excuse, and with shaky legs, you hurried over to his table where you had set your bag down, pulled out the earrings you planned to wear tonight. Opening his wardrobe, you looked at your reflection as you put them on, heart slowly slowing to an appropriate tempo.
But the angle was limited, so you only saw him when he entered the mirror’s frame, nearing a few steps behind you, an unreadable expression on his face. Raising an eyebrow, you managed to smile at him through the reflection. “What is it?” As if you hadn’t just almost thrown all caution to the wind, all your silent, combined efforts to preserve your friendship.
Theo tilted his head, his gaze flickering over your reflection. “Nothing,” he answered in a low voice, approaching slowly. “Just thinking.”
“Don’t strain yourself,” you attempted to joke, fiddling clumsily with your earrings. Finally, he reached you and you flinched when you felt his hands, large and strong, on your waist. Only the thin material of your blouse separated them from your skin. Lowering his head, his lips hovered right next to your ear and you held your breath as he chuckled into your ear. “Just wondering if he’ll even know what to do with you.”
For a few seconds, you stood still. But then, you brushed his hands off and walked over to his desk to grab your back, oblivious to the way his eyes darkened when you escaped from his grasp. “I’ve got to go, get ready,” you explained as you hurried towards the door eager to escape the thick tension of the room. Playing with it had been fun, but this felt way too real.
Theo watched your fleeing figure. As the door slammed shut behind you, the silence that remained felt louder than anything you could have said. His jaw ticked, fingers flexing at his sides before curling into fists, the sharp edge of his nails pressing into his palms.
You were getting ready for someone else-someone who didn’t deserve your time, your effort, your attention-but still, you went. The thought burned, settling bitter on his tongue, and he exhaled sharply, raking a hand through his hair as if that alone could shake off the feeling clawing at his ribs. The bed was still warm where you had been, the air still carried the faint trace of your perfume, and yet you were gone- off to smile for someone who would never look at you the way he did.
Theo wasn’t what some would call a “party person”. For the past months, he’d done his best to avoid Slughorn’s invitations. Though the silver-tongued heir of the prominent house of Nott had been taught to socialize properly and knew his way around people, the majority of them bored him to death, as did the inevitable smalltalk revealing their shallow nature.
The Slytherin house parties he could endure, because there was at least the added though fleeting thrill of a hookup- and also, he had to handle Mattheo at his worst, when he’d made his way through a few too many shots of firewhiskey and drugs. Additionally, the Slytherin house parties tended to grow wild and frenzied fairly quickly, allowing him to slip into a hazy sequence of blurred memories and forget about himself.
An event such as this, however, which some might assume more to his liking as it presented itself as far more civil, could not have thrilled him any less. People circling each other like vultures under the red lanterns, detecting with observant eyes who to suck up to and who to eliminate as competition, fighting for the attention of the well-connected at the top of the food chain, trying to climb a latter they weren’t even able to grab the rails of.
Slughorn was smiling brightly, boasting and prowling around, fully in his element as he weaved people like strings, enjoying himself in the role of benefactor, merciful king, god. Beneath him, the huddle of chosen ones, jabbing their elbows into each other in the hopes to be selected as the one to rise the ranks of privilege. Shrill, tense laughter rang through the air, the scenery painted in red hues from the lanterns, the eyes too attentive for a party like this. And in the midst of it all, you.
You, in your gorgeous green dress, being twirled around on the dance floor by Terry Campbell. Though that was quite the generous description, as you were doing most of the heavy lifting. As he had suspected, Theo thought to himself, Campbell couldn’t handle you, he could never meet your standards. His movements were clumsy and sluggish, he lacked manners and he didn’t hesitate to leave you alone or crowd you out when the opportunity to suck up to one of the more illustrious people presented itself.
He didn’t deserve you, he didn’t deserve looking at you all dressed and dolled up. The sight of it twisted something sharp and ugly inside him. That idiot had his hands on your waist, his fingers splayed too casually against the fabric, his grin too smug, too self-assured-like he had any right to you. Theo had to refrain himself from reaching for his wand as Campbell followed your lead (he was a miserable dancer) and stared down at your cleavage, not even attempting to conceal his blatant ogling. As if you were a fucking pezzo di carne.
Taking a long sip of the champagne in his hands, he felt it trickle cooly down his throat, but it could not cool his temper flaring up whenever Campbell’s eyes wandered just a little too far down. The only thing keeping him from marching over and wrenching you out of his grabby hands was your eyes, boring into his earlier that day when you’d complained about Mattheo’s overbearing relationship. He didn’t want you to feel caged in, as much as he wished to get you by the waist and out of this snakepit. Where people whispered behind your back and your face fell any time you saw a finger pointed at you.
You were too soft to be what you were, and he fucking adored it. But it also meant that he made a mental note of anyone who made the smile vanish from your face for later … consideration.
When your dimwit of a date spotted Sean Clarke, the president of the English Quidditch league, amidst a crowd of noisy witches, he tore himself away from you in an instant to push past dancing couples towards him, without a glance or word back to you. Just leaving you standing there on the dance floor, looking so utterly breathtaking in that frilly dress of yours.
Theo’s hands tightened around his glass of champagne as he glided through people to keep an eye on you as you approached the buffet. As you waited for a group of renowned daily prophet reporters to pass by, your eyes wandered over the crowd and found him, leaning against one of the stone walls. Even from a distance, he saw them widen in surprise- no wonder, since he usually was to be found anywhere but at a Slughorn party on designated evenings.
But soon after, a smile spread across your face. Not the false ones you gave Campbell to appease him and make him feel like a man. It was small, hesitant, honest and it was private. Even in his foul mood, Theo could do nothing but smile back and the corners of your mouth twitched as you turned towards the buffet, only to tighten when Campbell returned. Theo saw it with a certain level of satisfaction.
As Terry, visibly ill-tempered, pushed through the crowd towards you again, you had to suppress an exasperated sigh. He’d been nothing but a nuisance and a brat all night, and you would rather have him preoccupied with Sean Clarke than you. But alas, the latter seemed to have blown him off, judging by the bitter look on Campbell’s face.
Before you could ask if he wanted to get something to eat - you were starving - he grabbed you roughly by the arm, grunting something that sounded like “dancefloor” and dragged you back to the middle of the room. Instinctively, your gaze found Theo who was slowly pushing himself off the wall, eyes locked on Terry’s hand gripping your arm. But when you threw him a warning look, he halted his movement, only following you with vigilant eyes.
Terry placed his hand on your waist- if one was to call your hip your waist. As he took up his clumsy movements again, you attempted to ignore the way it moved uncomfortably far down. You had stoked his wandering hands up to a lack of experience in the beginning, but you were growing more uncomfortable by the second. Just to check, you threw another glance around you for Theo, and he returned it with a raised brow. Recognizing the silent question, you shook your head lightly.
Terry seemed to have realized your spirits weren’t in it anymore, or maybe he’d just spotted another Quidditch player, because he stopped dancing after just a short moment to pull you after him again. Without a word to you, he pushed a group of fifth years aside until you’d reached a secluded corner behind some slightly see-through red curtains, cutting you off from the rest of the party.
Initially, you had wanted to look for Theo again, just to check, but then, Campbell speaking a coherent sentence took you so off guard that you forgot anything else over it. “You know, I could have asked any girl here, but I picked you.”
Completely taken aback, both by his sudden ability to articulate himself through more than three word sentences and the contents of said sentence, you blinked up at him, momentarily rendered speechless. He looked down at you appraisingly and took a step towards you, which was quite the feat in this cramped spot. Instinctively, you inched back, but smiled nervously as you didn’t want to be rude- you just wanted to get out of here and hook him up with his beloved Sean Clarke so you didn’t have to deal with him anymore.
“Don’t be so uptight, Riddle,” he drawled, having picked up on your attempts to bring some space between you and him. A lazy, sickening grin pulled at his lips and a shiver ran down your spine when his eyes wandered from your face down your body. His tongue darted out to lick his lips. “I bet no one’s even looking.”
“Can we get back to dancing?” you tried, fingers nervously clasping around each other as you glanced up at him. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest as you tried to suppress the panic that surged through you at the look in his eyes. “I don’t really feel like-”
His demeaning chuckle cut you off and to your horror, he grabbed the arm you had been reaching out to draw the curtains aside, as well as your waist. He pushed you against a small table, cornering you. You could smell the faint trace of alcohol on him, but he’d not had enough to be losing all sense. Which meant… You didn’t want it to be true, Merlin, you didn’t want Mattheo to be right. But it looked like you’d just walked into a trap, and it snapped shut when Terry leaned down and grinned unpleasantly. “Come on, don’t be like that, I’ve been nothing but nice to you all night.”
“Stop it,” you said in a low voice, doing your best to imitate Theo’s threatening tone that had any resistance crumble into a pathetic pile at his feet. But it didn’t work with Gryffindor’s six foot tall beater, of course.
Terry only laughed mockingly and his hands squeezed around your waist and arm. His eyes glinted as you attempted to free yourself. “Relax, it’s just a little fun- What, your brother gonna come drag you away?” He lowered his head and you tried pushing at his chest, but he didn’t move one bit and his fingers dug painfully into your flesh. “You don’t have to play so hard to get, you know?” he drawled, “I already know you like the attention. Why else would you have worn a dress like tha-”
Somehow, suddenly, out of nowhere, the curtains were ripped apart and Theo was there before you, before you even had time to process it- before Campbell could push his luck any further. His hand shot out, fingers locking around the bastard’s wrist in a vice grip, yanking it away from your waist with enough force to make him stumble back a step. His breathing was slow, measured, but everything else about him was tightly wound, coiled with barely restrained fury- his shoulders stiff, his jaw clenched so hard it looked like it might crack. His fingers flexed at his side like he was deciding whether to throw a punch or just break Campbell's wrist outright.
The usual composed calm in his expression was gone- his dark eyes burned with something lethal, something cold and merciless that had shivers run down your spine, even though it wasn’t directed at you but at Campbell, who recoiled visibly, wincing when Theo’s hand tightened around his wrist and cut off all blood flow. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, quiet, but razor-edged with warning. “You really don’t want to do that.”
“H-hey man,” laughed Campbell, voice shaking slightly with fear, and it was music to your ears. To have him at someone’s mercy, in someone’s unrelenting grip. For a moment, you wished you had Theo’s authority, menacing aura and reputation. Until you got half your mind back and inched away from Campbell, who had let go of your arm in an instant.
“It was just a bit of fun,” Campbell attempted to laugh it off, but Theo didn’t move- didn’t blink, didn’t loosen his grip. If anything, his fingers tightened around Campbell’s wrist, the tension in his arm rippling beneath his shirt. There was not the slightest trace of amusement on his stony face, no hint of his usual cool detachment- just a quiet, simmering rage, deadly in its restraint.
His head tilted slightly, voice dropping even lower, silk-smooth but edged with steel. “Didn’t seem like she was having fun to me.” His thumb pressed just slightly into the guy’s pulse point, a silent threat, a warning that needed no elaboration. The air around them felt sharp, electric, like the moment before a storm broke, and though Theo hadn’t thrown a single punch, it was clear he was seconds away from violence.
His gaze flickered over to you. But instead of softening, like it usually did, it only hardened as he snapped his eyes back at Campbell, who was unable to hide the panic etched into his expression. “Do yourself a favor,” Theo said darkly, threateningly, “Get lost. Now.” Still holding his wrist, he lowered his head and Campbell tried to avoid his piercing eyes. With eyes full of disgust and revulsion, Theo looked down on him. “I’ll find you tomorrow,” he growled with barely contained fury, released Campbell’s hand and tilted his head just the slightest bit.
In the split of a second, Campbell was gone, only the curtains still moving with the impact of his sudden departure. Theo turned to you, dread churning in his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to go after Campbell and make him bleed, make him pay, for daring to lay his filthy hands on you, for daring to feast his greedy eyes on you and trying to hurt you. The only thing keeping him in place was, at the same time, the only thing more important than his wrath- you.
Your eyes were locked on the swaying curtain where Campbell had just left, your shoulders slumped and to his horror, he noticed you were shaking slightly. The sight of your trembling fingers didn't do anything to calm the inferno barely contained within him, and he was tempted to take you with him and have you watch him destroy Campbell, so you would see what a miserable sack of human garbage he was, how he was nothing, how he would cower at your feet, beg for your mercy, and he’d punish him for it.
“Carina?”
Theo’s voice sounded through to you, over the ringing in your ears. Blinking rapidly, you bit down on your traitorously wobbling lip and turned to him without raising your gaze from the ground. “Merlin,” you whispered and heard your voice quiver uncontrollably. “I was so stupid.” Your eyes burned, both with shock and humiliation, and before you could properly avert your face, a tear slipped past the fragile dam.
His warm hands on your bare arms, so much more gentle and careful than Terry’s, almost made you shudder as you fought the urge to sink into him and cry away your worries on his shoulder, in spite of time and place, in spite of your determination to keep some level of composure. Theo’s thumbs brushed gently over your skin, so utterly comforting that it only made you well up more. “You weren't,” he said in a firm but calm voice, the rumble of his baritone soothing the trembling of your heart against your ribcage, as if it wanted to escape the confines of your body that suddenly felt so sullied.
An ironic, teary laugh slipped past your lips. “Yes, I am. Here I was, wanting to show Mattheo I can handle myself and now I need saving from you-” Your voice broke off and you covered your mouth with one hands to muffle the little sob building up in your throat.
Wiping at your cheeks stubbornly, you avoided his gaze determinately and preferred to watch the ripple of his sophisticated shirt as he leaned towards you, the smell of smoke, mint and old books tearing down your walls of resistance. Another tear. “You must think I'm an idiot,” you whispered as even more tears ran down your cheeks and the hand over your mouth shook.
“No, I don't,” said Theo, ever more firmly, and all of the sudden, you could feel the rough pads of his fingers under your chin, lifting it. There was no resistance left in you, not when his voice drowned out the unpleasant memory of Campbell and the overwhelming thumping of the music. But the look in his eyes almost made you flinch back. They were made of ice, hard and cold and beautiful, brimming with fury. Still, his grip barely tightened. As always, Theo was in perfect control of his body, of his every movement. Sometimes, that frustrated you, but now, you felt content knowing every touch of his was deliberate and trustworthy.
“I don't think you’re an idiot,” he reiterated, lowering his head to be more on eye level with you. “I think you picked the wrong guy. È semplice. Simple as that.”
It was too much, his voice, his words, the way the Italian rolled so smoothly off his tongue. Sniffing, you hid your head in his chest and his arms wrapped themselves around you, one hand holding your neck, brushing his thumb over your jaw and shielding you against him.
“You could do so much better,” his voice rumbled against your ear as he caressed your face and more tears stained his white shirt. You felt him tense up somewhat, a certain hint of frustration in his voice, though not directed at you, but rather at himself. “You should do so much better.”
Another bitter little laugh left your lips, a pang of daring born out of your shock and fear. “Like you?” Since you still hid your head in his chest, you didn't see the way his jaw clenched at your words.
He could imagine it so well- a world in which you would have worn that dress for him, and only for him. In which he’d have waited for you by your dorm, would have led you through the halls to Slughorn’s party and fended all other people off to take you to dance. How you would have moved, and smiled, and laughed; laughed just for him. How you would have trusted him with yourself. He would have made sure you got to enjoy yourself, would have made the night unforgettable. Would have taken you back to your dorm and shown you just how much of a goddess you were- even without the dress on.
Already regretting your rash words, you pried yourself from his hug, too busy whipping the last remnants of tears from your cheeks to notice the way his eyes had darkened and fingers curled at his sides, as if burning to pull you back against him. “Can we get out of here?” you asked, looking up at him, and he nodded, tugging the curtains aside to lead you out of the secluded corner.
Theo’s hand rested on your lower back as if it belonged there, as he guided you through chattering and dancing bodies, clearing a path for you through the sea of laughter and music. The party’s noises and colors had long become overwhelming to you, so you let him guide you through the crowd and to the door leading out of the room. Taking a longer step, he opened it for you, lead you through and closed it behind you. As soon as the door fell shut with a resounding clang and the coolness and quiet of the nightly castle halls welcomed you, you could breathe steadily again.
Theo shook off his jacket and wrapped it over your shoulders like a proper gentleman, adjusting it to make sure it didn't slip. He was a bit old school, but you liked it. Luckily, the night hid the dust of pink on your cheeks as the warmth engulfed you like a hug and shielded you against the nightly cold. His hand still on your lower back, Theo guided you down the stairs and along the corridor, a comfortable silence settling between you. You had a feeling he was slowing his pace to match yours, as your legs were still a little shaky.
When you walked by the courtyard, you slowed your steps and looked up at him, noticing the way the pale moonlight only accentuated the sharp line of his jaw. “Can we sit outside for a moment?”
Theo did not at all like how flimsy and unprotected against the cold you were dressed, but he nodded. He couldn't let you go unprotected, after all. Right, he was just following your brother’s instructions. Just that. Once more, he adjusted his jacket before allowing you to pull him by the arm out into the courtyard, striding towards one of the benches. Before you could sit, he wiped away the leaves and twigs on your side and then sat down next to you, feeling himself grow calmer as he listened to your steady breathing and watched it come out in puffs from your lips. Your lips. You’d put lipgloss on, and his eyes clung to the way they looked so plump and soft, ready to be ravaged.
“Theo?”
“Mm?” he asked distractedly, still mesmerized by the way your lips looked, moved, parted, huffed out silvery breaths.
“Can you-,” you hesitated for a second and threw him a quick glance. “Can you not tell Mattheo about how horrible this went?” Theo looked down at you steadily, with a serious, unmoved expression on his face as he was waiting for you to continue.
With a defeated sigh, you propped up your head and your hands, elbows on your knees, and stared ahead. “You know how he’ll get if he finds out. He’ll go completely bonkers, and he’s so reckless, I wouldn’t be surprised if he risked more than detention.” Maybe even Azkaban. Because he had sworn to you earlier that evening that he would kill Campbell if he laid so much as a hand on you. But you had no interest in Campbell dying, you just never wanted to see his stupid face again.
Still, Theo remained quiet and you rocked your leg anxiously, your voice a breath against the nightly breeze. “And if he knows… if you tell him… he’ll be right.” Again, you felt the sharp prick of tears behind your eyes, but before they could flow, a warm hand came to rest against your waist and you gave into its urge by leaning against his shoulder. Resting your head on him, you couldn’t see his face properly, but his voice was louder and clearer than yours had been. Still, he seemed to have understood every word.
“He wouldn’t,” said Theo calmingly, rubbing circles on your dress and calming your breathing in return. “I know you can take care of yourself. Also.”
You were surprised by the somewhat humorous tone in his voice as he lightly nudged your head with his, making you raise your head from his shoulder and look up at him. Mere inches separated your noses as his darkend eyes reflected the starry sky above Hogwarts. There was a rare, jocular twinkle in them as his hand came up from your waist to cup your cheek. “You are his older sister after all.”
A dry chuckle left your lips, but your heart was lighter than before and you managed to crack a genuine smile. “You’re right,” you grinned weakly, not even thinking of bringing more distance between you and his magnetizing eyes. “I should rightfully rule over him.”
A gentle smirk tugged at his lips, and he didn’t make a move to separate from you either, his thumb running along your jaw. “With an iron fist, bella.”
But then, his gaze darkened again as his eyes lost all light. You could almost understand why people tended to flinch back from him in fear, though the threatening look in his eyes couldn’t make you frightened for yourself. Still, his thumb brushed gentle strokes up your jaw and his trusted scent clouded your senses. “I will hurt him for what he did to you,” muttered Theo, his voice so quiet you could only hear it because he practically breathed the words against your lips.
Maybe he had expected you to back away, look horrified, or tell him off for doing what Mattheo would have done. But you only nodded, like you had known it all along. “I know,” you echoed his thoughts, looking serious and tugging his jacket tighter around yourself, not breaking eye contact. “But I trust you to handle the situation better. You are … less clouded by emotions.”
The irony almost made him smile, how you thought he would be measured, would be reasonable, rational, when he had never felt more clouded by emotions as when you looked up at him now, your wide eyes still showing the last remnants of your tears. An iron grip was around his heart, refusing to loosen, so he forced himself to avert his eyes, so you wouldn’t see the hate brimming in them- not at you, of course, but at the world who kept cracking down on someone as good as you.
But he didn’t correct you, instead skimming his eyes over the lace of your dress, the way it swayed gently in the breeze. You had looked so pretty in it- still did. A shame, truly. Both you and this dress deserved better. When he adjusted the hem slightly, he caught goosebumps break out under his touch and hated himself for the light tinge of satisfaction it gave him.
“You look stunning in that dress,” he muttered lowly, looking back up at you. It seemed like your eyes hadn’t left him, even after he had averted his, and the way you leaned trustingly into his touch twisted his insides with conflicting emotion.
Your hand found his and squeezed, and now he himself had to suppress a shudder at your soft touch. It really shouldn’t be bothering him, shouldn’t be affecting him this much. He had touched you plenty of times before, as you had, too. Your touch was more familiar to him than that of his parents, or his friends. Your warmth a constant in the wild tides breaking all around him, disrupting the world he had meant to break into order for you.
“Thank you,” you said breathlessly, giving his hand a light squeeze. Returning it, he watched you, and you shifted under his gaze, feeling scrutinized.
“Mi dispiace (i’m sorry),” he said sincerely, finally holding your gaze again. “For your ruined night, carina. You deserve so much better.”
You shrugged, giving him a half-smile. “Well, you know what they say, play stupid games and win stupid prizes. And anyway, it wasn’t your fault. And,” your eyes fell to your interlocked hands, his long fingers engulfing yours like they never wanted to let you go again. “Thank you, Theo. For getting me out of there. Merlin knows what would have happened if you hadn’t.”
His jaw clenched visibly at the thought, and he attempted to concentrate on the feel of your soft skin against his to ground him, as images of what he would do to Campbell flashed in his mind. Your ironic chuckle pulled you out of his spiraling thoughts. “I couldn’t even push him off. The way you just looked at him and he ran off…,” you swallowed thickly. “I wish I wasn't this weak.”
“It’s not a weakness,” he disagreed and you opened your mouth to argue back, but the look in his eyes extinguished every and all protest on your tongue. “It’s not a weakness,” he repeated firmly, locking you in place with his cerulean eyes. His thumb ran over your knuckles, but neither of you dared look away from the other. “It’s a show of strength,” he said, his Italian accent a little more prominent than before. “The world didn’t manage to take away your kindness.”
He leaned in further when he saw the frown forming on your face. “You are stronger than me. And for all those who think otherwise,” his voice got more grave as he spoke, more intense, “who think they can use you or hurt you, you have me to deal with him.”
Frozen, unable to talk back and disagree with his rather flattering interpretation of yourself, you stared at him, his words replaying in your mind. You had him. Him. Not them. He wasn’t talking about himself and your brother, just about himself. He would deal with anyone who hurt you. A shiver ran through your body, but it wasn’t because of the dark promise he had extended towards you. Where it was received inside you, it curled up, warm, like a whispered secret. He would take care of you.
To your grief, that care seemed to be extendable to other areas as well, as Theo's attentive eyes caught the goosebumps on your arms and your light shivering. Loosening his hand from yours, he placed it again on the small of your back, frowning. “We have to get you inside, amore. You will catch death out here.” Begrudgingly, you agreed, partially because you couldn’t say no to those eyes.
With a gentle rub of his hand, he helped you stand and adjusted his jacket over your shoulders. Then, he led you inside again, where, though it wasn’t much warmer, the cold breeze subsided. But when he turned to the stairs leading down to the dungeons, you halted your steps, causing him to stop as well and raise his brow at you. You gave him a pleading look as you held on to his jacket for support. “He’ll be waiting. I don't want him to ask questions when I turn up so early.”
Theo sighed, running a hand through his dark curls, but he nodded and you gave him a grateful smile. “Come with me,” he said, gratuitously, as if you wouldn't have followed him anywhere without him having to ask. But you nodded and let him take you up a staircase into the Transfiguration corridor, where he opened the first door with a bit of wandless magic.
Any other night, you might have protested breaking into a classroom, but you made no sound of complaint as he opened the door for you and led you inside, closing it softly behind you so the noise would go undetected. A small click told you that he had locked it again, though Filch was rarely out and about on nights of Slughorn’s parties, as too many partygoers drove him mad.
As you sat down on one of the tables in the front row, hands tugged into the pockets of Theo's jacket, he opened one of the closets, seemingly looking for something. Seconds later, he reemerged, balancing a board of chess in one hand. Something like a satisfied smile tugged at his lips when your eyes lit up in an instant. He walked over, placing the board on the desk you sat on, before hoisting himself up to sit on the other end, undoing the first few buttons of his shirt to find a more relaxed position.
Your eyes clung to the exposed skin of his collar for just a moment, but a moment too long, as he quirked a teasing brow at you when you snapped your eyes back to his face. Feeling your face grow hot, you busied yourself with placing the chess figures on the board. White for you, black for him, as always. His eyes followed the movement of your hands on the board and you felt a certain nervosity coil in your stomach at the intensity with which he observed your hands.
Once the board was ready, you did the first move. His eyes snapped up at you shortly before he extended his veiny hand to move one of his central pawns. And so it continued. You both made your moves, sometimes fast and certain, other times slow and hesitant. His brows were drawn in concentration, and you attempted to focus on the game instead of the way his pensive expression made you want to lean over and kiss him.
Theo was a formidable chess player, and you weren’t so bad yourself. When you had both finished your school work, playing chess was a common pastime in his room, both of you sitting on his sheets and balancing the board between you. It wasn't so different now, only that you were starting to notice things in the pale moonlight you hadn’t before.
The deliberate movement of his hands, how his fingers sometimes stilled over the board as he glanced up at you, gauging your reaction to what he was about to do. The way he ran his hands through his hair after you’d made a good move, and the way his lips would quirk whenever he’d taken advantage of one of your weak positions. He was so utterly magnetizing you had to force your attention on the game, determined not to let him beat you too easily. Usually, it was Theo who won the match, but you tended to put up a good figh. It wasn’t easy to entertain him, but somehow, it was always him who asked for a match or had already got out the board when you arrived.
Unbeknownst to you, you weren’t the only one somewhat distracted. Usually, it was enough for Theo to analyze your moves and strategies, never having had a problem with wavering concentration, unlike his best mate. Something was different tonight. Maybe it was the dress. Only now did he realize how low-cut it really was, made worse by the fact that you had to lean over the desk to move your chess men, giving him an enticing view of your cleavage- if he hadn’t physically restrained himself from looking by digging his nails into the palms of hands violently. Maybe it was his jacket on you. This clear sign of his claim on you.
Feeling dirty and horrible for these thoughts, he looked back down to the board he had been absentmindedly moving figures on and realized he hadn’t seized an important opportunity, but rather allowed you to break through his rangs so that now, you were in a position to take his queen. He cursed quietly under his breath and you gave him a sceptical and somewhat accusatory look.
“You’re letting me win.”
“I’m not,” he replied truthfully, but you didn’t believe him, and how was he supposed to explain to you that he had been so occupied with staring at you he had let his concentration slip to such a point? He himself was a little shocked, having believed his discipline to be stronger after years and years of rigorous training. But you were still you, amd if someone could distract him, it had to be you.
“Check,” you mumbled, and you both did a few more moves until you said “Checkmate” and took his king with your queen. But you remained in place, neither of you willing to let this moment pass without resolving the unspoken tension that had settled in the air between you as you played.
Without taking his eyes off yours, Theo flicked his wrist and made the board and pieces fly back into the cupboard, which sealed itself. Closing the now unoccupied distance between you, both of you shuffled closer on the desk, neither breaking eye contact. Suddenly, you caught a movement out of the corner of your eye. It was his hand, moving slowly towards your face, hovering in the air for the split of a second before cupping your cheek and tilting your head lightly, reveling in the way you gave into his touch so willingly.
“I must confess something, carina,” his voice sounded into the silence and you frowned, your heart beating faster with anticipation. A light smile settled on his lips, uncharacteristically sheepish, as his thumb brushed over your lower lip, eyes locked on the way it gave in to the pressure of his thumb. “I might have been assigned to you tonight, to protect you.”
Ignoring the pang of disappointment in your chest, you scoffed without any malice behind it. But you refused to look away as his breath mingled with yours, the silence in the classroom seeming louder than before. The space between you had disappeared without either of you noticing, and his fingers were warm against your skin. His touch was careful, almost hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure he was allowed, but he didn’t pull away. His gaze flickered between your eyes and lips, dark and unreadable, his breathing slow but unsteady. The air between you felt thick, charged, like the moment before lightning struck.
You should have moved. Said something. Diffused the situation before it crossed the point of no return. But you didn’t. Couldn’t. The warmth of him, the way his knee pressed against yours, the way his breath ghosted over your lips- it held you in place. His grip tightened just slightly, as if grounding himself, as if testing if you’d pull away. But you didn’t. The silence stretched, became unbearable, and your lips parted, his eyes clinging to them.
“Well, Theo. Are you going to protect me from yourself?”
It was the last straw. Suddenly, his lips were on yours, soft but firm, moving against yours and you gave into him in an instant, as if on instinct. Both his hands cupped your face now, tilting it slightly to give himself a better angle. His lips were so soft you wondered whether he’d put on lipbalm earlier, his touch so tender you couldn’t help but feel content, right here and there. You kissed him back, but he took the lead with unmistakable certainty, tugging lightly at your lower lip with his teeth and making your breath hitch before closing the distance once more.
But there was something missing. Theo was kissing and touching you as if you were made of glass and could shatter at the lightest touch. His kisses were loving, but careful, only gently tugging at the curtains you wished to rip open and let your senses be overflown with sunlight.
The moment he detected you struggling to catch your breath, he released your lips, looking down on your flushed face with a light smile. So damn satisfied, so superior. But you’d show him. Fisting your hands in his shirt, you leaned up at him but he evaded your lips, tutting softly at your endeavors and the frown scrunching your brows together.
Feeling quite frustrated and desperate to release the tension that had been brimming inside you all day, you scraped together your last bits of Italian you had picked up, poring over language books in the library. Your voice shook, uncertain, as you spoke, and the words came out slightly broken, almost inaudible. “Ti voglio… così … così tanto,” you said breathlessly, and in what had to be a heavy english accent. (I want you so much)
Theo let out a shaky exhale, and he corrected you without thinking, his voice so low it sounded more like a rumble. “Ti voglio così tanto.”
A beat. Silence. And then, finally, something inside him seemed to snap. The careful restraint in his grip vanished, replaced by something raw, something reckless. His fingers slid back into your hair, tightening just enough to tilt your face up to his as his lips crashed onto yours, all hesitation gone. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t measured. It was heated, desperate, like he had been holding himself back for too long and had finally lost the battle.
His other hand found your waist, pulling you closer, pressing you flush against him as if he needed to feel you, to prove to himself that you were here, that this was real. A low sound rumbled in his throat as he deepened the kiss, as his fingers curled tighter against your waist, as he poured everything- every once of frustration, every unsaid thing, every moment spent pretending it wasn’t inevitable - into the way his lips moved against yours.
His hand on your waist slid down to your thigh, grabbing a handful and pulling you every more closer until you sat halfway in his lap. At his firm touch, your breath hitched in your throat and he responded with a low growl, hand slipping higher and higher until-
You pulled away, chest heaving and head spinning, unable to grasp a thought. But fear had surged through you, as the images of the boys you’d kissed before flashed in your mind, after Mattheo had been done with them. Panic and pleasure coiled into an almost painful knot in your throat and all you could think, as you tightened your hands in his shirt, was not him, not him, not him. You shouldn't be doing this. He was your brother’s best friend, he was off limits. He was freedom.
“Carina?” his voice broke through to the hazy mist clouding your mind and you looked up at him with wide eyes. The look on his face took you off guard, because you had never seen him look scared before. Maybe you had even thought impossible. But now, his voice shook slightly as he ran his thumb over your jaw and his other hand departed from your upper thigh. “I’m sorry, carina. Merda- fuck- I- I shouldn't have, Non stavo pensando-” (I wasn't thinking)
Theo seemed to take your lack of response as fright rather than what it was: perplexity. Because Theodore Nott hadn't had trouble with slipping in and out of English since first grade. But now, as his eyes frantically searched your face for a reaction, as apologies stumbled from his tongue, he almost seemed unable to control in what language they were in.
Theo was astonished how quickly emotion and desire had taken over his senses, his body, his sacred self-control. Only now did he realize how reckless he had been, kissing you like that after just saving you from a handsy stronzo. Where had his filter been when he’d kissed you like that, when his hand had slipped up your dress, when your little gasps had only spurred him on? But you didn't seem as fearful as him, only staring at him with wide eyes as if he’d just discovered a damn new species. Running a hand through his hair in desperation, he lowered his voice. “Parlami, per favore. Talk to me, carina.”
Snapping back to your senses, you shook your head at him rapidly. “It's not- I didn't mean-”. You felt your cheeks grow hot but you held your gaze steady and didn't loosen the grip you had on his shirt. “I liked it. It was great. I was just-” You took a few breaths through your mouth, considering the words, weighing them in your mind before allowing your tongue to form a sentence. As you pondered your words, he sat still as a block of ice, staring down at you with those mesmerizing blue eyes of his.
“I don't want Mattheo to hurt you!” you finally managed to say and his brow arched. Frustrated with your lack of an explanation, you looked around the room as if the perfect sentence to explain your desperate predicament would jump out of one of the cupboards. “I know what he did to the other boys,” you said, forcing yourself to stay calm, “to the other boys I've kissed. I don't want him to hurt you. A- and,” you hated yourself for the way your voice broke off and you had to start the sentence over, “and I know you love him like a brother, and you are his best friend, and I don't want to ruin that.”
“Oh carina,” he sighed, rolling the r even more heavily than usual, and the small smile that tugged at his lips had the conflicting desires to hit him or kiss him battle inside of you. Theo visibly relaxed, the tension leaving his shoulders and the movements of his fingers settling into a calm rhythm once more. His relaxed stance didn't even make the slightest bit of sense to you as you frowned at him, voice laced with fear and worry.
“Mattheo will kill you.”
Theo’s heart seized as he looked into your worried, fearful eyes. Worried for him, your hand clutching his shirt like you never wanted to let him go. You didn't want to ruin his friendship with Mattheo. You were afraid he would hurt him. Dio, you were so fucking selfless, so sweet and caring. How could anyone see you as unapproachable or cold, or anything short of wonderful? But at the same time, the kiss-induced haze in his mind slowly started to clear up as he seemed to sober up, recognizing the sensibility of your words. Right. You were Mattheo's sister. You were off-limits.
It cost him every last ounce of self-control to pry your fingers away from his shirt gently, and a numb pain tugged at his heartstrings when they fell purposelessly into your lap. “Let's get you back to your dorm,” he mumbled, trying to be the voice of reason, not the greedy vulture raging inside his head that yearned to rip that pretty dress off of you and worship you like you deserved, to make you forget all about Campbell and his disgusting attempts. He longed to hear the sounds you would make when he touched you in all the right places, he wanted you to curl your fingers into his hair, he wanted to hear you moan his name, and his name only.
But alas, he stepped back from the table, banning the forbidden images from his head, and approached the door, desperately trying to clear his head. It was only when his hand hovered over the door handle that he realized you hadn't followed. Turning around, he saw you were still sitting where he had left you, on the desk, clutching his jacket around yourself, eyes fixed on him. The glint in them was dangerous, it tempted him more than anything, drew him in like a magnet. Shakily breathing out, he turned and faced the door, fingers closing around the handle. “Tell me to go.”
There was a pause, during which he could only hear your breathing, still labored as a result of the messy kiss. He could picture you so well. Clutching his jacket, your hair disheveled where his fingers had run through it and your eyes- dio, your eyes… When you spoke, your voice was quiet, but firm. As if you'd made up your mind about something. “You never listen to me anyway.”
That was all it took for his resolve to crumble. Mattheo and chivalry be damned as he turned on his heel and had reached you in a few strides, crashing his lips against yours. As his hands on your neck urged you ever more closer, you let out a surprised squeak, but the split of a second later, your eyes fluttered close and you kissed him back, losing yourself in the bliss.
Low phrases were muttered against your lips, but you barely registered them as you kissed him back just as feverishly as he did. Your shaky fingers ran over his chest, looking for any sort of halt, and he rumbled lowly into your mouth as his grip on you tightened and he opened your lips with his tongue. As his tongue slid into your mouth, it met little resistance. Instead, your fingers closed around his tie, unintentionally tugging him even closer to you and he cupped the back of your head, fingers carding into your hair. An embarrassing little mewl left your lips and the vehemence of the kiss made you lean back on the table, your back hovering inches above the surface. He followed, chasing your lips, closing in on you again and again and exploring the insides of your mouth with his tongue.
You had subconsciously been inching back on the desk and his hands departed from your neck to bury themselves in the flesh of your hip. With one fluid motion, he pulled you back over the smooth surface of the desk until your clothed core met his and you could feel his desire. Your skirt had ridden up to your upper thighs, but you made no attempts to fix it as you leaned into his touch, his kiss, his smell, his very being.
You could barely believe this was happening, the stuff of your forbidden little ovulation daydreams, and if his fingers hadn’t been kneading the flesh of your exposed thigh so maddeningly, you would have pinched yourself to make sure this was real. But it felt almost too real, too intense, too all-consuming, as his large palms ran over every inch of your body they could reach and he panted against your lips before clashing his onto yours again. Insatiable, ferocious, yearning for every part of you he could grasp.
If you had thought you were the only one desperate for the other, you had been so, so wrong. His frantic kisses and desperate touches were enough to convince you otherwise, his usual calm and coldness missing as you felt so fucking hot under his deft hands.
Experimentally, you rolled your hips against his crotch. His grip on your waist and hip tightened, fingers curling harshly into your flesh as he let out a shaky breath against your lips. But his voice was steady and firm as he warned you, “Careful with that, principessa.”
But you wanted to see him crumble, you wanted to see him lose control more than anything. So you leaned up at him, chased his lips and gave him your best doe eyes. His eyes gleaned dangerously in the relative darkness of the classroom as you tightened your grip on his shirt. “Theo…,” you asked in a pleading voice, trying to convey how damn needy he made you feel, how much his touch riled you up until all you could think was him, him , him, and the way he pressed against your pulsing core. “Per favore…”
Again, the Italian seemed to do the trick. Something in his gaze shifted as his eyes snapped down to your lips, and further down, over your heaving chest to your bare thighs, molding into the touch of his large hands. He was panting, fighting against the utter loss of control, but when you repeated the words in the most adorable English accent and rolled your hips against his once more, he couldn’t help himself any longer.
Theo’s head dipped down to your neck and you mewled when you felt his lips trail down your throat. His tongue licked a long stripe up the column of your throat, where your breath hitched and he chuckled darkly against your skin. Breathing in your perfume that always fucking lingered in the room when you were there, so near and out of reach, he connected his lips to your sensitive spot and felt a jolt of pleasure at your high-pitched gasp.
Suddenly, for the split of a second, your mind cleared up and you tugged his head away from your neck in a panic. You only got a low growl in response, along with a roll of his lips that made you mewl softly and slap a hand over your mouth at the embarrassing sound. “Th- theo," you managed to stutter out, the words falling clumsily from your kiss-bitten lips. You only got a throaty sound in return and your grip in his hair tightened. “Theo, h- he can’t see.”
That, if nothing else, made him halt his relentless ministrations of your neck and raise his head to look down on you. You looked so utterly irresistible in the dim moonlight shining through the windows. Your hair a mess, your lips plump and swollen, your eyes wide and fearful. Fearful for him. Merlin, he felt like he had the whole world at his fingertips. His intense gaze made you shudder as you leaned up again, a pleading look in your eyes and laced into the tone of your voice. “Theo-”
But before you could say more, he cupped your cheeks and kissed your temple, breathing in through his nose as if commanding oxygen back into his lungs. “I’ll just have to do it somewhere else then, won’t I?” he said under his breath, lips departing from yours kin so he could get another proper look at you and your flushed face. “Somehwere he can’t see.” His tone was so utterly seductive you could only nod, you knew your voice would break if you had tried to reply.
But he tutted softly, tilting his head and you recognized the teasing look in his eyes. His hand cupped your cheek and his thumb ran over your bottom lip, eyes following the way it gave into his touch. “You’ve got to use your words, principessa, tell me what to do.”
Frustrated with his teasing, you moved your hips against his until his hands gripped at your waist, keeping you in place. He raised his brow at you. “Not cheating, are we?” One of his hands ran over your thigh gently, making any and all protest die on your tongue. A sharp gasp left your lips when it surged forward and cupped your crotch. Biting down on your lip, you suppressed a moan as he engulfed your clothed core with his large hand and tilted his head at you, brow still raised. “Anyone ever touched you there, carina?” A mocking smile curled his lips. “Anyone but yourself, I mean.”
Panting pathetically, you shook your head and he cooed at you, gently rubbing his palm over your cunt in a way that had you squirm against his hold. “H- ha, no one,” you gasped, hiding your blushing face in his biceps as your fingers curled into his shoulders, keeping you steady. “No one’s touched me there but y- you, Theo.”
Though Theo might have seemed all calm and collected, his mind was spinning at your words. With the revelation that he’d be the first man to touch you, to claim you, to ruin you for any other pathetic guy that might attempt to take his place. Because you belonged to him. He had to suppress a groan at the thought, but commanded himself to discipline. This night was yours, he was yours, and he had to keep his mind focused on you, on your pleasure.
In one motion, he hiked up your skirt until it was bunched up around your midriff, giving him the perfect view of your white lace panties against the dark wood of the desk. Licking his lips, he met your wide-eyed gaze. “Lay down on the desk, principessa.” That was right. You would be his princess tonight.
With great satisfaction, he watched you follow his order immediately. Your back met the wood of the desk and you suirmed against his hold to get comfortable, staring up at the ceiling. Your heart beat against your ribs like crazy, the sound of it filling your ears. His face had disappeared from your sight. All you could feel now were his hands, one keeping your hips in place, the other running a slow pair of fingers up your clothed folds. Your breath hitched in your throat and you bit down on your bottom lip in an attempt to stifle the embarrassing sounds building up in your throat.
His next command sounded, soft but firm. “Spread your legs.” You did, thighs trembling, and you propped yourself up on one elbow just in time to see his eyes widen at the sight of you. Registering even the smallest movement, his eyes snapped up at you and you immediately laid back down on the surface of the desk, making him smile softly.
Theo got to his knees, nudging your thighs further apart and reveled in the abashed sounds coming from you. His fingers halted their movements on your clothed cunt to hook themselves around the hem of your lace panties and tug. A small squeak left your mouth and he chuckled. “So responsive…” In one tug, he slid off your underwear and discarded it somewhere next to him.
Your cunt was just as cute as he had imagined, and glistening with slick in the pale moonlight. Bringing his fingers back down to your cunt, he collected some of the substance, making you jolt. “All that for me?” he asked, teasingly, catching your frantic nod out of the corner of his eye. Then, he dove down and his lips met your puffy folds.
Shocked by the sudden feelings of his mouth against your cunt, you slapped your hand over your mouth to muffle the moan that had threatened to escape you. But it was hard to keep your mind on the possible risk of getting caught in this utterly humiliating position when his tongue licked a long stripe up your folds, before diving in as if you were his last meal on earth.
Feeling his nose against your folds, his lips closed around your clit and you stifled another moan. With a low rumbling sound, one of his hands left your thigh and out of the corner of your eye, you caught him flick his wand at the door, suddenly deafening the sounds of wind howling in the courtyard. Before you could fully realize that he had just cast a muffliato charm on the door, his hand shot up and closed around both of your wrists, yanking them down and pinning them down against your hips. This had the added effect of stopping them from bucking against his face as he took advantage of the new angle to delve into your pussy like it was the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted.
When he sucked at your clit, you moaned loudly, unable to muffle the sounds with your pinned-down hands, and your cheeks heated with shame. But Theo only chuckled against your folds, feeling his cock harden painfully against the confines of his trousers. Your little moans and mewls were music to his ears, and he worked his tongue tirelessly against your clit, eager to elicit more from you.
Releasing your other thigh, the hand that wasn’t holding down your bucking hips and binding your wrists wandered up to your cunt and he slowly entered his index finger into your tight little hole. He chuckled into your glistening folds when your back arched off the desk. What he wasn’t prepared for, however, was the cry of his name that left your throat.
He damn near jolted, feeling blood rush towards his cock and, as if on instinct, his finger curled up inside of you, eliciting a strangled moan from you. He delved back into your warmth, working on your pretty pink hole with his index finger and sucking and licking at your clit until you were writhing and squirming against the desk, hips bucking helplessly but being held down by his unrelenting grip. Again, you mewled his name and he groaned into your pussy, feeling his knees grow weak and his head grow foggy.
Dio, how he could have listened to you saying his name like this forever. How often had he pictured you, whining and moaning, his name rolling off your tongue so filthily? But none of his filthy dreams could have prepared him for the real thing. His hips bucked helplessly into mere air when you moaned his name again, high-pitched and desperate as you shook under his hold. You were heavenly.
Theo's ministrations on your poor cunt were relentless, systematic and meticulous as you felt your insides tighten with white hot pleasure. You were barely in control of your whole body anymore, it felt as if he was a puppeteer, tugging knowingly at your strings and making you jolt and squirm, making you dance for him on the hard surface of the desk. All you could feel was him, all of your senses overtaken with white-hot pleasure. Your ears were ringing, so that you could barely make out your own words, repetitions of his name stumbling from your lips like a prayer.
He groaned against you, his grip on you tightening as his finger pistoned in and out of you, steadily working to make you unravel completely. “Che bei suoni, carina,” he moaned against your folds, liking up a long stripe and making your breath hitch audibly. “Una ragazza così brava, cazzo, such a good girl.”
His words made you whine as a coil tightened in your lower abdomen. You could almost feel his grin against your clit as his tongue darted out to draw circles on it and nearly drive you mad with the electrifying sensation. “You like being called a good girl, don’t you, carina?”
You could only mewl helplessly in response and his finger met that spot in you with a harsh thrust that had you cry out his name in ecstasy. “I asked you a question,” he growled and you felt tears form in your eyes at the overwhelming mounting of pleasure. Another finger of his started to draw circles on your clit, meticulous and experienced, as his grim blue eyes entered your vision, alight with something dangerous.
Nodding helplessly, you tried to force your tongue to form words as he knowingly hit every spot inside you that had you fall aprt and trash against his hold. “I- fuck, yes!”
A lazy smirk tugged at his lips as he dipped his head back down, continuing his ministrations on your cunt. You attempted to roll your hips against his face, chasing the pleasure, but he tutted at you and pressed your hips down, making you sob in frustration. “Poor girl,” he chuckled against your hot wetness, “Can you take another finger, dolcezza?”
You nodded shakily, small whines of “yes, yes, yes,” filling the air. Your walls stretched deliciously around him when he added another finger. Throwing your head back with a moan, your thighs closed without your permission and finally, Theo released your wrists and hip to keep them parted, mumbling curses in Italian against your heat. His fingers curled up against the spot he now found with infuriating accuracy and instinctively, your hand shot up to your mouth to stifle the cry of pleasure threatening to burst past your lips.
But Theo seemed none too pleased with that, as his hand came down to deliver a not so gentle slap against your pussy. A cry of his name left your throat as your hips bucked with the delicious mix of pleasure and pain.
To stop yourself from covering your mouth again, you moved your trembling fingers down to his hair, where they gripped his curls in a desperate attempt to ground yourself. Theo didn't seem to mind, his tongue working restlessly on your clit, and he barely grunted when you tugged at his curls, another flash of burning pleasure shooting through you, making your thighs tremble in his hold.
Lost in pleasure, you could barely control your babbling anymore as everything and anything crossing your mind made it past your lips without filter. “H-he’ll kill you,” you hiccuped weakly, tears running down your cheeks as you felt the pleasure mount inside you. “Mattheo, he’ll m-murder you for th-this, s-so ah!” You gasped when his fingers curled inside you again, working meticulously on bringing you to your high as your walls clenched in a vice-like grip around them.
“I-I hope you’ve made peace with your life,” you slurred with half a mind and his tongue only worked faster on your clit as he hummed in content. “Cazzo- then I’ll die, carina. Dio sa, this is fucking worth it.”
Ramming his fingers into your squelching cunt, he looked up at your writhing and moaning figure, feeling something swell, not only in his trousers but in his chest. He had you like this. You, the untouched, off-limits sister of his best friend, the temptation he could never give into, the prize he could never have- and now he had you. Right where he wanted you. Falling apart on his tongue and his fingers, moaning his name to the heavens, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. And fuck him if he would earn Mattheo’s wrath, fuck him if he got into hell for sullying something so good, so pure, because it just felt so damn good.
You felt so damn good, he could feel himslef becoming light-headed, not even being inside you, alone from the image of you arching your back off the table, your pretty face flushed and scrunched up with pleasure. The image of his darkest dreams. He himself couldn’t even differentiate whether the praises and curses against your tongue were in English or his mother tongue as your high-pitched moans filled his ears.
His fingers hit the spot that had you tremble mindlessly again, and again, and again, until your walls clenched tightly around them and something between a sob and a moan broke out of your throat. “Th- theo, I’m cumming!”
As your high washed over you, you could do nothing but gasp and shake against him, as pleasure as you’d never once felt it crashed down on you and nearly made you see the pearly gates of heaven. A loud cry left your throat, and you didn’t even have half a mind to be thankful for the muffliato charm he had put on the door. All you could do was absolutely fucking fall apart on his fingers.
They worked you steadily through your high, his middle finger rubbing lazy circles on your clit as the world slowly took shape again around you and you felt his lips travel up the side of your jaw. “Such a good fucking girl, dolcezza, give me everything you've got.”
And give him everything you did, riding out your high against his fingers until you collapsed in his arms. He caught you before you could hit the table, fingers rubbing over your overstimulated cunt one last time before he dipped down to kiss you. You should have been embarrassed about tasting yourself on his tongue, but to your own surprise, a low moan left your lips. He swallowed it up eagerly, whispering praises between kisses. “Y’ did so well, my sweet fucking girl,” he mumbled, making you sigh into his next peck, “Did so damn good.”
As your breathing slowly calmed and no longer came out in ragged gasps, he helped you sit up and stood before you, before the desk, smiling down at you with one of those rare smiles of his. The lower half of his face was dripping with your release and your cheeks grew impossibly hot. “S- sorry,” you mumbled, raising a shaky hand to wipe some of it away, but he caught your hair mid motion and pressed a trail of kisses over your palm, down the skin of your upper arm.
When your arm fell slack against your side, he gave you a teasing grin and darted out his tongue to lick some of your juices from his lips. Chuckling at your wide eyes, he pressed his lips to your temple and ran a hand through your hair. “How’re you feeling, carina?”
“Uh-,” you muttered , voice raspy and shaky. “G- good. I think.” An abashed smile tugged at your lips and he returned it with his casual confidence, cupping your face to kiss you softly. His lips met yours in a tender caress and you leaned into him as if he were your lifeline.
Slowly, the realization of what you had just done dawned on you. And you noticed another thing: something firm and hard pressing against your thigh. With trembling fingers, you sneaked a hand between your bodies, hovering over the tent in his trousers for a moment of hesitation before palming it through the fabric. In an instant, his grip on your face tightened and he let out a low hiss. You only felt spurred on, but to your disappointment, his larger hand wrapped around your wrist and gently tugged it away from his clothed erection.
“Not that I would ever spurn your touch,” he mumbled sheepishly, visibly more light-hearted than before but with a certain strain in his voice that undoubtedly was the result of his unresolved business down there. “But not tonight.”
He smiled at the way your brows scrunched up in a frown, hands fisting his shirt as you pulled him closer. “But-”
He shut you up with another kiss that had you cave in immediately, rubbing slow circles on your exposed thigh. “Another night,” he whispered against your lips, “I’ll take care of this myself.” Your eyes fluttered shut with the way he kissed you so gently, yet unrelenting. The tone of his voice told you, unmistakably, that you had no chance convincing him to let you help him.
“But, don’t you want it?” you breathed against his lips, a certain anxiety curling in your stomach.
But he only chuckled, somewhat darkly, and continued to rub circles on your thigh. “Dio, of course I want it. Ah-” With a soft tut, he caught your wrist once more and guided it to his lips to press a soft kiss onto the back of your hand. “Let me worry about that.” There was no room for argument or protest, so you sighed and shrugged, making him smile again. You had rarely witnessed a smile of his last so long. Usually, it were quips of amusement, glimpses behind the stony facade, but he seemed to be in an exceptionally good mood.
“Another time,” you agreed, leaning up to welcome another peck of his lips. Retreating slowly, you opened your eyes at him and lost yourself in the cerulean pools, brimming with something much more affectionate than lust. And suddenly, it felt almost natural to say it. “Ti amo, Theo.”
Groaning, Theo had to seriously refrain himself from throwing all caution to the wind and fucking you stupid right then and there on the desk. But he needed your first time to be special, not in an abandoned old classroom. Ti amo, Theo. You loved him. Damn right, you did. His heart thrummed dangerously fast against his lips, almost as painful as the strain in his pants. Ignoring the ache in his cock, he pressed a long kiss onto your burning cheek. Merlin, you were just adorable. “Anch’io ti amo, carina,” he muttered and relished in the smile that lit up your face.
It took a lot of ciorridors until you managed to overcome the uncontrolled trembling in your legs, and even more until you were able to walk without clutching his arm for support. Still, Theo kept his arm around your waist as he led you down the stairs to the dungeons, never wanting to move it again. Your hand fisted his shirt against his back and from time to time, he leaned over to press a kiss onto your cheek, making you giggle. It echoed off the walls, but neither of you could have cared less. Theo felt like he would hex anyone who disturbed you two now into next week. But nobody did cross your path on the way down, all the partygoers seeming to have left for their dorms or homes already.
At the door to the boy’s toilets only a few corridors away from the common room entrance, Theo slowed his steps and you came to a halt before him. With great reluctance, he let go of your waist and got a hold of your hand to press another kiss onto it- like the chivalrous bastard he was. Your cheeks heated at the simple gesture and a silly smile made your eyes shine.
“Fix that hair and dress before you enter the common room,” he muttered softly into the silence, one hand on the door handle to the boy’s toilets, the ache in his pants reminding him of his unfinished business. “Or your brother might get to the Gryffindor bloke before I do.”
Nodding, you let go of his hand, but didn’t turn away. something unspoken, something unanswered still hovered between you, and you needed to dress it before you could enter the privacy of your dorm. “So…,” you said, hesitantly, “Are we, like…?” You left the question unanswered and he raised a brow, mocking you. Theo offered you no assistance as you stuttered yourself through the sentence. “Well, are you my boyfriend now?”
“Well, what did you think?”
Now it was your turn to raise your brows at him, though a smile still danced around your slightly swollen lips. “Don’t pretend like you aren’t the castle’s biggest manwhore, Theo.”
Feigning offence, he leaned against the wall and looked you up and down.”A manwhore? Amore, I just risked my life for you. That has to mean something.” Though his tone was mocking, his eyes held a disarming severity that you recognized with a small nod. His lips twitched. “You really think I’d let myself fall for you just to play around?” He lowered his head, tilting it slightly. “You want proof? Fine. Ask me if I’ve thought about anyone else tonight.”
“I believe you,” you laughed, averting your eyes and shaking your head at him, an affectionate warmth filling your chest. Feeling brave, you leaned up to press a longer peck to his cheek and winked at him as you lowered yourself from your tip-toes.
“Well, have fun,” you smiled, teasingly, before turning on your heel to leave for the common room, glee and excitement coiling in your stomach into such a tight knot you would have felt the desire to jump up and down- if only your legs hadn’t still felt so weak.
He watched you turn a corner before you disappeared, something dangerous and dark twisting behind his ribcage when he saw you wobble slightly on your feet. Whatever it cost him, he would tell Mattheo. Because there was no way in fucking hell there would be a single sould left in this castle in doubt about who you belonged to.
a/n: if you've actually come this far, you have my respect: you just made it through 20k words of this. and for that, you deserve a reward 🏅
-> when his sister attends a slughorn party with a date, mattheo asks his best friend to watch over her at the party, oblivious to the fact that theo is exactly the type of guy he wants to protect her from.
-> brother's bsf!theodore nott x riddle!reader; eventual nsfw; minors dni; cw: attempted harassment, mentions of violence, self-doubt, smut; nsfw tags: oral fem receiving, soft dom!theo, dirty talk, lots of praise; sadly there was some error with the tags and I couldn't tag some people, but I still hope you all found your way here!
part two here
( masterlist )
The Astronomy Tower loomed high above the castle grounds, bathed in the silver glow of the moon. It reflected against the fragile stargazing instruments and illuminated hastily drawn star charts, carelessly left behind on desks. The parchment swayed gently in the light breeze. A chill clung to the stone, the wind whispering through the open archways, carrying the faint scent of night-blooming flowers from the greenhouses below.
Occasional gusts of wind ruffled the edges of Theo’s robes as he leaned against the stone railing, lazily rolling a cigarette between his fingers. The flick of his lighter cast a brief, golden glow across his sharp features- dark brows drawn in quiet focus, the angle of his jaw, the faint shadow of his curls. The ember flared as he took a slow drag, exhaling a thin stream of smoke into the cold night air.
The hurried sound of footsteps echoed from the stairwell, unmistakable, even if it hadn't been a nightly recurrence. Theo didn’t turn; he didn’t need to. He knew that stride, the way it carried that reckless edge of carelessness, like the world bent around its owner rather than the other way around. When Mattheo stepped into the moonlight, Theo paid him no mind.
As usual, he displayed quite a different way of carrying himself compared to Theo, as many fates the two boys might have shared. Mattheo’s dark curls were disheveled, his tie loosened to a proletarian extent and the top buttons of his shirt were undone, as if he hadn't bothered with them in the first place.
Upon spotting Theo’s dark figure against the railing, he strode towards him and leaned his forearms against the metal as well. “You’re early,” Mattheo muttered, his voice low and rough around the edges. Not that he had checked the clock, but their nightly habit of going for a smoke to the astronomy tower was so well established even the slightest changes stood out like a sore thumb.
Turning around to lean his back against the balustrade instead, Mattheo shoved his hands into his pockets and tilted his head slightly until Theo glanced back at him. Not even Theodore Nott’s cold demeanor could deter Mattheo from flashing a grin and indicating the burning cigarette dangling from his fingers. “Got another?” He caught the pack of smokes when Theo threw it over with the aim of an experienced chaser, and shook out one to light it and take a long drag out of it. The smoke from his cigarette mingled with the cloud curling lazily from the other’s lips and disappeared into the night.
For a few minutes, there was a silence, though not uncomfortable. Rather established, like they had practiced it a million times before. Which wasn’t that far from the truth. Only, today, something was different. As Theo's observant eyes spared Mattheo's oddly tense figure another quick glance, they didn't miss the way he squeezed the smoke tightly in his hand and tapped his fingers against his thigh in an irregular, agitated rhythm. He wasn’t one to pry, a quality he knew Mattheo appreciated about his company, so he simply took another drag of his cigarette and waited for the other to reveal the source of his irritation.
As he’d thought, he didn’t have to wait long- Mattheo had a certain need for communication, at least with him. “Do you know that Campbell guy?” he asked gruffly, clear disdain laced into his tone. When Theo’s brows furrowed, Mattheo twisted his cigarette in impatience, causing embers to rain down upon the stone floor where they faded into darkness. Since Mattheo wasn’t bloody for once, Theo could only assume Campbell still had it coming for him. “Bloke from Gryffindor. Seventh year. Ring a bell?” he elaborated darkly and glared at one of the instruments.
It did. Terry Campbell, a Gryffindor with the head of a bowling ball and the intellect of a demented slug. No wonder he had felt no desire to remember him by name, Campbell was everything he despised cramped into a single person: a loud-mouthed, ignorant, vainglorious and utterly unintelligent Buffoon, lacking all forms of taste, too loud to listen and to dumb to learn. The sort of person that tended to irritate and bore him at the same time, the worst combination for Theo.
Blowing another stream of smoke into the frail moonlight, he let out a small scoff. “What about him?”
“Well,” Mattheo pressed through gritted teeth, in a particularly bitter tone. “He’s taking my sister to Slughorn’s party on Saturday.”
Fuck no.
Instead of smoke, Theo seemed to have swallowed a mouthful of ice as his insides twisted like a vice. A sick, burning coiled in his cut as he turned, abruptly, to Mattheo, full of disbelief. “What?” he asked sharply, all sophistication forgotten in the wake of this news. There was no way in hell you were going to Slughorn’s party with Terry Campbell, your brother had to be joking. Merlin, how he desperately wished he was.
Mattheo seemed to share the sentiment, judging by the looks of his bitter curl of lip and the way he flicked his cigarette to the ground, grinding his boot down on it hard. “Yeah,” he muttered gloomily. “I can’t fucking believe it, I though she had some standards. I’m telling you, she’s just picked him to annoy me!”
But his raging fell on deaf ears as Theo turned away and stared down on the greenhouses, a sharp, ugly weight settling in his chest. No reaction too intense could betray the surge of hate that was welling up inside him, or your brother would know, would piece it together… Brutal, white-hot anger pulsed through him, but Theo kept his hands still and his features unmoved, safe for a subtle clench of his jaw. Theo had mastered the art of keeping his composure, but he was faced with a challenge now.
You. Going to one of Slughorn’s stupid parties with Terry Campbell of all people. He squeezed the smoke out between his fingers, the embers burning into his fingertips and the pain helped him to regain his self control.
Unlike him, you’d taken advantage of your invitation to go to Slughorn’s parties before, but you’d never had a date. If Theo was honest with himself, he wouldn’t have taken kindly to anyone taking you out on a date, quite the opposite, but he couldn’t believe that someone like you would lower themselves onto Campbell’s level. He’s pretty popular, a small voice remarked, but he shut it up immediately- you were everything but shallow. Even insinuating it was ridiculous. But what on earth were you thinking?
Maybe Campbell was the only boy at school you wouldn’t feel sorry for when he inevitably landed in the hospital wing- as the few dates you’d ever had had done after Mattheo found out about them. ‘She’s not yours’ the voice in the back of his head reminded him, ‘you have no right to meddle in who she’s dating’. And it was true. Unlike your brother, Theo still had enough sense to remind himself that you could do what you wanted, could date who you wanted, could take anyone you wanted to Slughorn’s party. It was your decision, as much as he hated it, detested the very thought. He knew you, you had to have put some thought into your decision.
“Listen, mate,” Mattheo said, striking a new tone. He now seemed strangely business-like, leaning over on the railing and looking to meet Theo’s gaze. “‘M not part of Slughorn’s club. I know you hate his parties, but-”
Theo sensed where he was going with this and grabbed his pack of cigarettes back from Mattheo, taking one out before storing it deep in his coat pocket. Damn it, he’d promised you only to smoke one per smoking session. But these were quite challenging circumstances to keep up his promises. As he flicked the lighter and ignited the smoke dangling from his lips, Mattheo leaned in conspiratorially.
“Fucking hell, you know I wouldn’t be asking you this if I saw another way! Come on, you’re almost as bad as me when it comes to watching out for her. So when I’m not there? Go full big-brother mode.”
Theo’s lips curled sarcastically as he huffed out another cloud of smoke. Little did your brother know that his protectiveness over you didn’t stem from any platonic or even sibling-like urges. Little did Mattheo know that Theo was one of the boys he would love to approach with a club, one of the boys who enjoyed your company a little too much, whose eyes lingered on your lips when you laughed, who relished even your most fleeting touches and glances. Who pictured feeling your lips on his in moments of every-day boredom and trusted the night with his dark, guilty dreams of worshipping you like you deserved, fucking you stupid, having you writhe and moan in his sheets.
“I’m not saying you should start something,” Mattheo pressed on, oblivious to the raging self-loathing of his best mate. “Just… don’t let him get too comfortable.” His gaze darkened. “I just need someone there where I know that, if Campbell so much as lays a hand on her wrong, he’s leaving in worse shape than he arrived.” When he could draw out neither reaction nor response from Theo, he groaned in exasperation. “Merlin, Nott, you and I both know she’s too damn nice for this.”
The conflicting desires to keep an eye on Campbell around you on the one, and suppressing his possessiveness on the other hand were grappling with each other, as Theo stared down to the large black mass that was the dark forest. Adding to that that, he didn’t know how much his composure might waver when subjected to the sight of you laughing and dancing with another guy. And one so utterly undeserving of your attention and kindness, at that.
But Mattheo did have a point; though, as so often, he had a crude way of expressing it. You were too kind for your own good, too vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Yet, you were smart and good at seizing up situations, and if Campbell attempted to manipulate you - provided he even had one brain cell for something like subtlety - you’d see right through him.
“Come on, mate, she’s my little sister,” said Mattheo seriously and Theo turned to him with a raised brow.
“She’s two minutes older than you.”
Mattheo rolled his eyes, seemingly unconcerned with such feeble matters as time or birth order. “Yeah,” he admitted begrudgingly, “But, like, mentally.” To emphasize his point, he tapped his index finger against his temple to indicate just where the true age lay.
But Theo’s unimpressed brow only rose higher as he scoffed. “Non fare il rompicazzo. She’s also way more mature than you,” he added, unwilling to get into whatever line of argumentations Mattheo had strung together to justify his feelings.
“Not with boys!” exclaimed Mattheo heatedly and pushed against the railing, making Theo shake his head in annoyance. These antics were absolutely childish, he’d trust your judgement over your brothers any day, irrespective of the fact that he was his closest friend.
“And how many boys did you sleep with?” he drawled, blowing out another gust if smoke that swirled and danced in the air above. For a split second, it balled up and formed a shape suspiciously resembling your face before Theo got his instinctive magic back under control.
Mattheo hadn’t looked up, too busy with snapping at him: “I am one! I know how they think!” His glare was now directed at Theo, who paid it no mind, rolling his words around in his head. Mattheo had a point. It wasn’t like he himself didn’t know how desirable you were, how seductive, by doing nothing more than existing, though he may have been prejudiced by his feelings for you.
But it wasn’t merely the way he knew he would look at you, at your smile that he didn’t deserve, Theo knew that there were certain boys at this school who wouldn’t mind having their way with you, just to brag to their friends about having had the Dark Lord’s daughter, the unapproachable, rigorously protected Slytherin princess as some had named you- much to your displeasure. Both Mattheo and him had retraced rumors of this talk where they could and made any boy who saw you as nothing more than a challenge, a piece of meat, regret his very existence. Theo didn’t know if Campbell was one of them, but he was definitely thick enough to qualify.
And what if he did force you to do something you didn’t want to? His jaw clenched impossibly tight, close to snapping as he banned the unwelcome images from his head and balled his fists around the smoke, making embers fly and get picked up by a sudden breeze. “Get out of my head, Riddle,” he threatened and felt the uncomfortable ick subside, but the very same determination shone in Mattheo’s eyes when he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Go to the damn party and keep an eye on her,” he countered. “Please.” The last word, he barely managed to grit out and Theo’s eyes snapped up at him in surprise. Never had he known his best mate to ask for something, Mattheo was one to take, take, take. But the desperation of his situation seemed to drive him to new extremes.
This fact, if nothing else, made him rethink his previous stance. You didn’t have to know, after all. And wasn’t it really also the fact that he had no ambitions to spend the evening watching you laugh and dance with another man, longing to be the one to hold your hand and make you smile, yearning to be the one you dressed up all pretty for?
“Alright,” he finally sighed and Mattheo, moods changing so quickly it would’ve given any other whiplash, hit the air with his fist and patted Theo’s shoulder roughly.
“Knew I could count on you.”
It wasn’t as if you lit up in his presence- no, that would be ridiculous. It was just that his mattress was much more comfortable than yours, his rome tidier despite the constant stacks of books, his presence a steady rock of the kind that made the world outside seem a little less violent.
Or maybe, if you were being honest with yourself, it was the way his breathing filled the quiet, unhurried and even, grounding you without even trying. The way he always stretched out opposite you on his four-poster, all long legs and quiet confidence, never filling the comfortable silence with pointless chatter. Or maybe it was simply the way he made you feel- something warm, something steady, yet fluttering curiously from time to time, like the wings on a butterfly. Something you didn’t dare think about too closely.
Theo leaned back against the headboard, long legs stretched out, one ankle crossed over the other as he absentmindedly tapped his quill against the open pages of his book. He wasn’t reading- not really. His eyes flicked over the words without taking them in, his focus instead drifting to the steady scratch of your quill beside him, the way you chewed on it in thought, completely absorbed in the history of magic essay you were writing.
The windows he’d enchanted for you when you’d mentioned how the lack of natural light in Slytherin house weighed on your state of mind sometimes allowed the rays of an afternoon sun to spill across the bed in hazy streaks, catching on the sharp angles of his jaw, the slight furrow of his brow as he exhaled through his nose, shifting slightly. It was comfortable, familiar- the two of you working in the quiet, legs brushing every now and then as books and parchment lay scattered around on the bed.
You finished your essay with a winning final sentence you knew Professor Binns would not be able to appreciate and looked up from the parchment for the first time in an hour, only to find Theo’s eyes flicking down to his page once more, like a kid caught ogling candy bars it wasn’t allowed to touch. His book lay open on his lap, but you could tell he wasn’t reading- his eyes skimmed the words too quickly, his fingers drummed too idly against the pages.
Rolling onto your backside, you let your legs dangle off the bed and enjoyed the relief of tension in your lower back. Your eyes rested upon him, as if daring him to steal another glance at you and betray himself and his faux reading. But he seemed to sense the silent challenge and didn’t look up from the pages once, though you thought you saw the faintest ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. He turned a page.
“When are you going to stop pretending you are reading that?” you asked with an amused smile and his lips twitched. But his eyes didn’t leave the pages, still stubbornly pretending to take in the words.
You knew better, you knew his face, better than you knew most faces, because he’d let you look at it for minutes at a time without interruption. Let you map out every crease, every mark upon his skin, all the perfections and imperfections. You had learned his features and the slight changes in his expression better than you’d ever learned to master your own. It was kind of a must, if one wasn’t your brother and wished to interact on eye level with Theodore Nott.
“I am,” he said softly, running his fingers down the next page. For some reason, the sight had you suppress a light shudder, even though the room was quite warm. Warmer than most of the Slytherin dorms. You had wondered before if the enchanted sunlight could provide actual warmth, or if it was a delusion, a trick of mind.
“Alright,” you said, welcoming the challenge and shifting onto your side to prop your head up on your palm. “What’s it about?”
His eyes snapped up at you and sucked all the breath out of your lungs. The false sunlight fell upon his face and made his cerulean eyes shine with disarming intensity. Or maybe you had only imagined that, because he blinked and, though still stunning, his eyes melted into a soft caress down your face to your ink-splattered hands.
When you raised your brows at him, having never quite mastered the art of raising one brow, unlike him, he glanced back at the page for half a second. “Words. Sentences. A truly thrilling analysis of … something.”
You laughed and managed to elicit the smallest of smiles from him. A huge feat, as anyone who knew him would tell you. “You’re the worst study partner,” you said, an accusatory finger pointed at him.
Theo only raised his brow in return, giving you a look of superiority. “You say that, but you’re still here.” His gaze wandered over the open books you’d used for research. “You steal my books more than you read your own, dolcezza.”
“What can I say?” you sighed, feigning regret. “Your books are just better.”
Now, a smirk tugged at his lips as he stretched a little. “Or you just like an excuse to be in my bed.”
Laughing wholeheartedly, you grabbed the book you’d been using most adamantly by the spine and threw it at Theo, who caught it with unwavering certainty. As if he were seeing it for the first time, he turned it around in his hands, maybe trying to remember when he’d bought it.
If there was something he loved to spend money on, it was books. And he did have the means to, his family’s inestimable wealth at his expense whenever he stepped into a bookstore or got you ridiculously expensive christmas gifts to tease you for your indignation at the price. Which was probably why he left it on.
“Your taste in literature is excellent, carina. Your taste in men? Debatable.” If only he knew. An airy chuckle made its way past your lips as you looked down on your ink-covered hands. If there was any man you’d ever desired, it was him. Not just in the physical sense, but in the way his many hookups could not- like this, friendly, bantery, in the midst of heaps of books and parchment as the sun illuminated his beautiful features.
If your brother knew you were in a boy’s dorm, in a boy’s bed, even if it was his best mate, he’d lose his mind- even more so than he already had.
“So, Mattheo told you?” you asked in a falsely casual tone, but watched him carefully out of the corner of your eye. Your friendship with Theo had always been special. In your earlier years at this school, when Mattheo had been insanely clingy, he was the only other boy he allowed you to spend time with.
But Theo was no brother surrogate to you, as Mattheo assumed, wrongly. Though your feelings for him were intimate, they were far too less innocent to be considered fraternal. When Mattheo wasn’t around, in moments like these, you were quite flirtatious, just teetering the edge between friendship and something more. Only in the privacy of his dorm did Theo let nicknames besides topolina slip.
You’d always been more on a wavelength with Theo than with your brother, or any of your friends for that matter. He matched your wit and humor, shared many of your interests and was just as academically ambitious. Laying on his bed, exchanging playful banter and teasing nicknames, there always was a spark, paired with the silent understanding it could never be ignited.
Sometimes, you caught his eyes lingering on you. Even the touch of his hands was deliberate, as he seemed to take advantage of each innocent excuse to get his hands on you. Then, there was his intricate way of words, managing to make you blush and doubt your very existence at the same time. All in all, Theo was both your best friend and most forbidden desire- because he was your brother’s best friend as well. Your brother, who had been throwing a hissy-fit any time the topic of you dating came up.
But Theo didn’t answer, only turning a page in the book he wasn't reading. Not one twitch or movement could betray his agitation but the hard line of his jaw, clenched almost indiscernibly. His silence was a quiet accusation he didn't need to utter for it to linger in the air between you.
You didn't like it when something stood between you in these moments of his sole company, when Mattheo didn't have his hawk eyes on your every move. Moments you relished, and didn't want to be tainted by petty drama between you and your brother, who’d already ruined enough, especially when it was about something as irrelevant as your date for Slughorn's party. Or maybe it wasn't so irrelevant. Merlin, how you wished that it mattered to him.
“I can hear the gears turning in your head, Theo,” you said quietly when he even gave up pretending to be reading and instead stared gloomily at the pages as if they'd personally wronged him. You knew he didn't like many Gryffindors, something he had in common with Mattheo while you preferred not to take part in house rivalries. And Terry Campbell embodied all the worst traits of Gryffindor- no wonder he didn't like him.
“Care to share?” you asked and looked up at him from the sheets with the doe eyes that always worked on Mattheo.
Meeting your eyes, finally, Theo closed the book with a quiet thud and pierced you with his infamous stare- though it was not as sinister as usual. “I don’t have to say anything, you already know what I think,” he said matter-of-factly, leaning back against the headboard once more like he was done with the conversation. But his fingers kept tapping restlessly against the now closed book on his lap.
“You could at least pretend to approve,” you proposed, dragging yourself into a sitting position and propping your head up on your fist with folded legs.
Theo clicked his tongue impatiently and threw you another ill-tempered look. “I could also throw myself off the astronomy tower, but I don’t see the point in either.” There was a certain finality in his tone that you would have respected any day- any day but this one.
“I know you don’t like Terry,” you said, unwilling to give up in your attempts to establish proper eye contact. “Granted, he’s a little intellectually challenged.” At these words, his eyes snapped up at you and he raised a brow, a mixture of amusement and indignation at your rather courteous assessment. But you didn’t even let him speak, you knew his silvery sweet words would wrap themselves around you and render you inarticulate. So you continued quickly, in a quiet but firm voice. “This isn’t about who I want to go out with, it’s about proving I get to choose.”
His pensive eyes studied you as you awaited his reaction, fully aware that he must have concluded this already- or at least included it in his speculations. You were hoping he had, that he had not trusted you to fall for a douche like Terry Campbell. He tilted his head slightly, considering you, his prominent brows furrowed. “And if you’re choosing wrong?” he finally asked, holding your gaze with the certainty of a man who always had the last word.
But you held his gaze, drank in the thrill of losing yourself in his cerulean eyes, and shrugged. “Then at least it’s my mistake to make.”
Theo paused, then exhaled, shaking his head at you. When he tapped his fingers on the rim of his book, your eyes clung to them. A trap, and one you would step in gladly. His long fingers, the rough pads on his tips where he squished his cigarettes with his own hands, the prominent veins. Their movements were always so calculated, so elegant. Outside of Nott manor, he rarely played the piano, but when he did, it truly was a sight to behold. To see his spidery fingers run up and down the keys, eliciting such sweet serenades from the instruments you thought he’d have to have hexed it.
His voice pulled you out of your wandering thoughts as his mouth twitched with a sarcastic smile. “You sound like him, you know that?”
A light laugh stumbled from your lips as you pretended to look indignant- but, unlike him, you’d never been a good actor. “That’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to me.” But your laugh subsided quickly, the desire for him to understand, not only your motive but the importance of it, burning inside you. If someone had to understand, it was him. If you answered to anyone, it was him.
It was impossible to look at him. Not when he had leaned forward slightly at the sound of your little laugh, something shifting in his eyes, something unspoken and impossible to speak, something keeping you locked in place. So you averted your eyes, kept them firmly on the ground and pretended to be interested in a fly whirring in the false rays of sun. “But you understand, don’t you? It’s not about the date, or the party, or Terry. It’s about the fact that Mattheo never trusts me to handle myself. So I will have to prove him that I can be trusted with- with boys, and parties, and life.”
Though you did not look up at him, you could feel his gaze boring into your skull, studying your every expression. He had the natural talent of a careful observer, whereas you had had to learn it, given your circumstances. There was no point in concealing your frustration or disappointment in Mattheo, when Theo could decipher every twitch of your features, pry every drawn curtain apart, look into your very soul. And what would you be hiding something from him for, anyways? Except for your utter devotion to him, of course. Your most strongly concealed and obvious secret.
“Maybe he just doesn’t trust the world to hurt you,” his voice sounded, smooth and pensive, making it impossible not to agree with every word he said. And he was right, of course. But he wasn’t you. And he’d be a hypocrite if he agreed with you. His voice carried more than observation- self-revelation. It wasn’t just him who could decipher codes.
Drawing back the curtains yourself, you turned to him and opened yourself up to his endless, infallible analysis. “Then he should have more faith in me than fear of them.”
The words lingered as you considered each other, and his brow twitched lightly. Instinctively, you were certain you were thinking of exactly the same situation: two weeks ago, at breakfast, when a sixth year Slytherin you didn’t even know had made an unflattering comment about you, loud enough for people to hear but not loud enough that he thought he’d get in trouble for it. Well, the joke was on him, because Theo next to you had picked up on it and had tensed up so quickly you looked at him in alarm, trying to signal him that you didn't care about this kind of talk.
But of course, he knew you better than that, knew it bothered you, and when you’d seen the look in his eyes you had forever regretted crying in his arms about the unforgiving image people had of you, how you would never get rid of your father’s shadow looming over you, how no one would give you a chance. Mattheo and you both had your ways of dealing with your familiar associations. He drank, drugged and fucked himself into oblivion, you spent nights slaving away in the library until Theo dragged you to bed and allowed you to fall asleep with his warm hand on your back.
Before you could have even attempted to talk him out of it, Theo had stood up from the table and met the boy in a few strides. He hadn't even needed to pull out his wand, his voice low and dangerous as he had given the guy one chance to take it back. He had. Fast.
Your soft but slightly bitter laugh broke the silence. “You know what’s funny? If I actually needed him, if I actually needed someone to fight for me- he’d be the first one there. But when I don’t, when I just want to live my life- he’s still the first one there. Stopping me.” With a disheartened huff, you shifted on the bed, but didn’t avert your eyes. And neither did he.
Theo studied you for a long moment, during which nothing but the faintest echo of voices from the common room was to be heard. But silence had never been uncomfortable between you and Theo. Where Mattheo was a roaring whirlwind, Theo was the eye of the storm, the illusion of stillness, of being cut off from the rest of the world, uncaring whether it would be swept away in a single blow as long as you had him.
After observing you for a long moment, Theo nodded slightly. “I know. But…,” he leaned forward, his voice low but with a certain edge, the only indication of a growing intensity simmering behind his ever-calm composure. “Terry Campbell is such a dimwit he doesn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you, principessa. You could have asked anyone. anyone. And you picked the first desperate idiot who came your way?”
The small laugh you let out was more comparable to a bitter scoff. “Would anyone else have said yes?”
It was rare to spot genuine confusion on Theo’s face, but now, his brows were furrowed in puzzlement. A little, self-depricating smile tugged at your lips; of course he wouldn’t understand. Or was it just pretense to make you feel better?
“Terry has ambitions of playing Quidditch for England one day and has been trying to get into Slughorn’s good graces for ages because he has contacts in the league.” You shrugged, avoiding his eyes. “I knew he’d say yes.”
He was staring at you, his expression unreadable, even for you. Or perhaps, you didn’t want to look too closely. Perhaps, you were afraid of what you might discover, simmering behind those watercolor eyes. “Sei seria? You think that’s the only reason he said yes?”
With a defeated little shrug, you attempted a weak smile and failed miserably, a sudden weight seemed to weigh the corners of your mouth down. Lifting them was like lifting a great weight. “What other reason would there be?”
Finally, the stony expression on his face dissolved into a deep frown, even darker than his usual, gloomy expression. With a humourless scoff, he shook his head. “Dio, you actually believe that.” It wasn’t a question but a realization, and you gave no answer or reaction.
You were tired of him pretending, or simply not understanding your predicament. Of course he wouldn’t; in spite of his parentage, he still had countless girls throwing themselves at him. But you were used to Theo understanding you fully and thoroughly, nodding in recognition when you told him about your struggles, your likes, your opinions, and giving him the same grace. Perhaps you were spoiled. Perhaps, it wasn’t as simple as you thought. Perhaps, it was just you.
“I knew he was the only one desperate enough to be my date,” you said in a tone you hoped would come off as matter-of-fact and indifferent. “Really, I should be grateful I found anyone.”
“Odio quando parli così,” muttered Theo under his breath and you tried to piece the sentence together with your less than stellar knowledge of the Italian language. But before you could fully grasp the meaning of the sentence, Theo’s sharp voice cut through the air, forcing your attention back on him and the bitter intensity brimming behind his frown. “So, this is your clever little plan to get Mattheo off your back?”
There was no longer the slightest hint of humour in his tone, he sounded almost angry, and you recoiled slightly. “It’s not perfect, I admit.”
“You don’t pick the first cretino who sees an angle and call it a choice,” Theo cut you off. You realized his accent was getting more noticeable as he spoke, and the English language failed to express the true weight of his feelings as he slipped in more Italian words or phrases. It was a clear indicator that cool and calculated Theodore Nott was growing more heated, and you found it undeniably and inappropriately attractive. But he still failed to see your perspective in this.
“What else would I have done?” you asked in return, voice growing a little sharper as well. “Waited for someone who wasn’t coming?”
It wasn’t meant to come off as an accusation, but nevertheless, Theo tore his eyes away and gritted his teeth, jaw tight and exhaling through his nose. “Stronzata,” he cursed and glared at the book in his lap, as if it were somehow responsible for this whole mess. You couldn’t help but laugh softly at his inability to grasp a situation when he was usually the most observant person in the room.
Surprised, he looked at you and you shook your head, trying to keep the bitterness out of your voice. “No boy at this school would come into one foot proximity to me.” You bit down on your lip and avoided his intense, angry eyes. “I like to tell myself it’s just because of my … familiar affiliations, but maybe that simplifies things too much. I mean, look at you. Look at Mattheo! Maybe I’m just not, well, desirable.” You were a little ashamed of the words, and even more appalled at the way your voice trembled slightly before you got it back under control.
But when you looked up once more, you realized the error you’d made, letting him hear your somewhat self-deprecating, but in your eyes plausible interpretation. Before he could talk, you interrupted him as he drew his breath, undoubtedly to tell you you were wrong- just what you wanted to hear, of course. “It’s not that deep, Theo,” you said calmingly, unwilling to make a whole thing out of it. This stupid date had already impacted your day enough. “He was available, and I-”
But Theo cut you off, voice low and rough and carrying an edge he didn’t usually direct towards you. “El basta. Enough. You’re actually pissing me off now.”
Despite yourself, you raised your brows in weak amusement. “You’re always pissed off.”
Eyes narrowed, he pointed at you with the unread book. “Not at you. Not like this.”
After his words, silence settled thick between you, exceptionally uncomfortable in comparison to your usual quiet harmony. Maybe because it felt heavy, charged, pressing itself into the space between you on the bed like an unwelcome visitor. It seemed to stretch unbearably long, pressing against your skin like a weight.
Theo sat still, but everything about him was taut- his shoulders tense, his jaw clenched, one hand curled to a fist atop the duvet, the other grabbing the back of his book as if he meant to crush it into dust. His gaze flickered to you once, dark and unreadable, before snapping back down, as if looking at you only stoked the embers of whatever was burning behind his ribs. The air between you felt charged, humming with remnants of his anger, with the frustration he hadn't fully exhaled. His breath came slow and measured, as if he was forcing himself to stay composed.
You hated it. Theo was your best friend, maybe even the love of your life, and fighting with him was exhausting. With a sigh, you turned your whole body to him and gave him a hesitant, pleading look. “I don’t want to fight. Not when this is one of the few moments when my brother doesn’t interrupt our t- my study sessions.”
You cut yourself off, having no interest in loading the buzzing air with more tension. Tension that would be inevitable, if you were true about how important this was for you. How important he was to you. “Let’s not waste it, okay?” you asked, pleadingly, and thought you saw the cold diamond of his eyes soften a little. “I’ll stop mentioning it.”
For a few seconds, he observed you pensively, but you could see him melt behind his unmoved facade. His icy stare warmed slightly and the sharp turn around his mouth eased, jaw and fists unclenching. Something like regret flashed over his face, too fast to pin down. You opened your mouth to speak again, but he wordlessly patted the spot next to him and you fell silent. Following the silent order, you scurried over and he made room for you between him and the wall, propping up his pillow against the headboard for you to lean back comfortably.
You settled down next to him, in the little space there was. His legs were brushing yours, but he didn’t seem to mind, and you surely didn’t. Slowly, giving him the chance to move away or make some other dismissive gesture, you lowered your head and, when he didn’t move, rested it upon his shoulder. It fit into the curve of his body like a puzzle piece and you relished in the warmth, real warmth, body warmth, against your side.
When he raised a hand to card his fingers through your hair in a gesture of such tenderness you’d never seen him bless someone else with something even close to it, you breathed a sigh of relief and nestled deeper into the crook of his neck, closing your eyes. The rough pads of his fingers drew deliberate patterns on your scalp as he rested his chin on top of your head and his breathing finally calmed into a natural rising and falling of his chest. When he spoke, his voice was much quieter than before, measured but intense. “You don’t understand, do you? You could’ve had anyone.”
He spoke like he believed every word, sounded so convinced you almost believed him. Almost. Until the inevitable prying of reality nagged you again. “Then why didn’t I?”
Theo’s voice dropped even lower, rumbling in his chest and vibrating against the ear that rested against his body. “Maybe because no one is stupid enough to think they deserve you.” His voice still carried a certain edge, but this time, it wasn’t directed at you. More like the contrary. His hand wandered from your hair to your neck, rubbing slow circles on your tense muscles and eliciting a slight groan from you as you realized how tight they were clenched. Shaking his head, Theo seemed to be muttering to himself. “Che spreco.” (what a waste)
Narrowing your eyes slightly, you translated the short sentence in your head and were proud to reach a certain level of understanding. “What is?” you asked, hoping the question not only fitted your translation but also his actual statement. His fingers stilled against your neck, fingertips barely brushing against the skin so that you had to suppress a shudder. You, of course, couldn’t see the smug expression on his face as he noticed the way your skin broke out into goosebumps. The air was heavy with another form of tension now.
“That you think so little of yourself,” he explained, “That you let people like him think they're doing you a favor.” His voice was dripping with disdain and you interlocked your pinkie fingers, unwilling to fight him over the issue.
The silence that settled between you now was different- just as heavy, just as charged, but warmer, thicker, curling at the edges with something unspoken, but not uncomfortable. The tension no longer sat sharp between you, there was no room for it anyway. It lingered instead in the space where your bodies touched, in the light brush of your thigh against his, in the synchronising rise and fall of your chests. Theo had relaxed back against the headboard, but his fingers toyed absentmindedly with the collar of your shirt -something he'd never do in the presence of your brother.
Another thing reserved for these private moments was his touch. His pinkie squeezed yours before he removed his hand to place it on the back of your thigh, lifting it slightly to guide it to rest on top of his. Your breath hitched in your throat as his fingers brushed along the fabric of your thights and you hid your blush in the crook of his neck. If your brother saw you like this with any boy, he’d be flung into a fit of rage. But alas, he wasn't here, you reminded yourself, as you melted into his touch.
But it wasn't like he would be wrong to assume. The way Theo touched you, the tenderness of his caresses, was more befitting of a boyfriend rather than a friend. But it had been that way for a while. And neither of you dared say something, enjoying the touch of a lover without the fear of retaliation. You could feel his gaze flicker to you, gauging your reaction, lingering just a second too long on your slightly flushed face before pulling away, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to look.
The air in the room felt warmer, your skin prickling with awareness at every shift of movement, every slight brush of fabric against fabric. Neither of you spoke. The silence stretched, thick and taut, but neither of you dared to break it, as if speaking aloud would make something tip over the edge, something neither of you could take back.
Instead of speaking, his fingers released your neck and wandered to your chin, lifting it from his neck. He turned to you, and your heart began to race when you found your lips mere breaths away from his, his eyes glinting with an unknown intensity that had you wondering whether he might actually be willing… be ready to…
When the tension mounted and became unbearable, you jolted upright and averted your face to hide your blush. Your chest was so tight you felt like you couldn’t breathe, you only knew you had to get some space between you and him, so you scurried away, brushed down your skirt and stood up from the bed.
Only then did it occur to you to think of an excuse, and with shaky legs, you hurried over to his table where you had set your bag down, pulled out the earrings you planned to wear tonight. Opening his wardrobe, you looked at your reflection as you put them on, heart slowly slowing to an appropriate tempo.
But the angle was limited, so you only saw him when he entered the mirror’s frame, nearing a few steps behind you, an unreadable expression on his face. Raising an eyebrow, you managed to smile at him through the reflection. “What is it?” As if you hadn’t just almost thrown all caution to the wind, all your silent, combined efforts to preserve your friendship.
Theo tilted his head, his gaze flickering over your reflection. “Nothing,” he answered in a low voice, approaching slowly. “Just thinking.”
“Don’t strain yourself,” you attempted to joke, fiddling clumsily with your earrings. Finally, he reached you and you flinched when you felt his hands, large and strong, on your waist. Only the thin material of your blouse separated them from your skin. Lowering his head, his lips hovered right next to your ear and you held your breath as he chuckled into your ear. “Just wondering if he’ll even know what to do with you.”
For a few seconds, you stood still. But then, you brushed his hands off and walked over to his desk to grab your back, oblivious to the way his eyes darkened when you escaped from his grasp. “I’ve got to go, get ready,” you explained as you hurried towards the door eager to escape the thick tension of the room. Playing with it had been fun, but this felt way too real.
Theo watched your fleeing figure. As the door slammed shut behind you, the silence that remained felt louder than anything you could have said. His jaw ticked, fingers flexing at his sides before curling into fists, the sharp edge of his nails pressing into his palms.
You were getting ready for someone else-someone who didn’t deserve your time, your effort, your attention-but still, you went. The thought burned, settling bitter on his tongue, and he exhaled sharply, raking a hand through his hair as if that alone could shake off the feeling clawing at his ribs. The bed was still warm where you had been, the air still carried the faint trace of your perfume, and yet you were gone- off to smile for someone who would never look at you the way he did.
Theo wasn’t what some would call a “party person”. For the past months, he’d done his best to avoid Slughorn’s invitations. Though the silver-tongued heir of the prominent house of Nott had been taught to socialize properly and knew his way around people, the majority of them bored him to death, as did the inevitable smalltalk revealing their shallow nature.
The Slytherin house parties he could endure, because there was at least the added though fleeting thrill of a hookup- and also, he had to handle Mattheo at his worst, when he’d made his way through a few too many shots of firewhiskey and drugs. Additionally, the Slytherin house parties tended to grow wild and frenzied fairly quickly, allowing him to slip into a hazy sequence of blurred memories and forget about himself.
An event such as this, however, which some might assume more to his liking as it presented itself as far more civil, could not have thrilled him any less. People circling each other like vultures under the red lanterns, detecting with observant eyes who to suck up to and who to eliminate as competition, fighting for the attention of the well-connected at the top of the food chain, trying to climb a latter they weren’t even able to grab the rails of.
Slughorn was smiling brightly, boasting and prowling around, fully in his element as he weaved people like strings, enjoying himself in the role of benefactor, merciful king, god. Beneath him, the huddle of chosen ones, jabbing their elbows into each other in the hopes to be selected as the one to rise the ranks of privilege. Shrill, tense laughter rang through the air, the scenery painted in red hues from the lanterns, the eyes too attentive for a party like this. And in the midst of it all, you.
You, in your gorgeous green dress, being twirled around on the dance floor by Terry Campbell. Though that was quite the generous description, as you were doing most of the heavy lifting. As he had suspected, Theo thought to himself, Campbell couldn’t handle you, he could never meet your standards. His movements were clumsy and sluggish, he lacked manners and he didn’t hesitate to leave you alone or crowd you out when the opportunity to suck up to one of the more illustrious people presented itself.
He didn’t deserve you, he didn’t deserve looking at you all dressed and dolled up. The sight of it twisted something sharp and ugly inside him. That idiot had his hands on your waist, his fingers splayed too casually against the fabric, his grin too smug, too self-assured-like he had any right to you. Theo had to refrain himself from reaching for his wand as Campbell followed your lead (he was a miserable dancer) and stared down at your cleavage, not even attempting to conceal his blatant ogling. As if you were a fucking pezzo di carne.
Taking a long sip of the champagne in his hands, he felt it trickle cooly down his throat, but it could not cool his temper flaring up whenever Campbell’s eyes wandered just a little too far down. The only thing keeping him from marching over and wrenching you out of his grabby hands was your eyes, boring into his earlier that day when you’d complained about Mattheo’s overbearing relationship. He didn’t want you to feel caged in, as much as he wished to get you by the waist and out of this snakepit. Where people whispered behind your back and your face fell any time you saw a finger pointed at you.
You were too soft to be what you were, and he fucking adored it. But it also meant that he made a mental note of anyone who made the smile vanish from your face for later … consideration.
When your dimwit of a date spotted Sean Clarke, the president of the English Quidditch league, amidst a crowd of noisy witches, he tore himself away from you in an instant to push past dancing couples towards him, without a glance or word back to you. Just leaving you standing there on the dance floor, looking so utterly breathtaking in that frilly dress of yours.
Theo’s hands tightened around his glass of champagne as he glided through people to keep an eye on you as you approached the buffet. As you waited for a group of renowned daily prophet reporters to pass by, your eyes wandered over the crowd and found him, leaning against one of the stone walls. Even from a distance, he saw them widen in surprise- no wonder, since he usually was to be found anywhere but at a Slughorn party on designated evenings.
But soon after, a smile spread across your face. Not the false ones you gave Campbell to appease him and make him feel like a man. It was small, hesitant, honest and it was private. Even in his foul mood, Theo could do nothing but smile back and the corners of your mouth twitched as you turned towards the buffet, only to tighten when Campbell returned. Theo saw it with a certain level of satisfaction.
As Terry, visibly ill-tempered, pushed through the crowd towards you again, you had to suppress an exasperated sigh. He’d been nothing but a nuisance and a brat all night, and you would rather have him preoccupied with Sean Clarke than you. But alas, the latter seemed to have blown him off, judging by the bitter look on Campbell’s face.
Before you could ask if he wanted to get something to eat - you were starving - he grabbed you roughly by the arm, grunting something that sounded like “dancefloor” and dragged you back to the middle of the room. Instinctively, your gaze found Theo who was slowly pushing himself off the wall, eyes locked on Terry’s hand gripping your arm. But when you threw him a warning look, he halted his movement, only following you with vigilant eyes.
Terry placed his hand on your waist- if one was to call your hip your waist. As he took up his clumsy movements again, you attempted to ignore the way it moved uncomfortably far down. You had stoked his wandering hands up to a lack of experience in the beginning, but you were growing more uncomfortable by the second. Just to check, you threw another glance around you for Theo, and he returned it with a raised brow. Recognizing the silent question, you shook your head lightly.
Terry seemed to have realized your spirits weren’t in it anymore, or maybe he’d just spotted another Quidditch player, because he stopped dancing after just a short moment to pull you after him again. Without a word to you, he pushed a group of fifth years aside until you’d reached a secluded corner behind some slightly see-through red curtains, cutting you off from the rest of the party.
Initially, you had wanted to look for Theo again, just to check, but then, Campbell speaking a coherent sentence took you so off guard that you forgot anything else over it. “You know, I could have asked any girl here, but I picked you.”
Completely taken aback, both by his sudden ability to articulate himself through more than three word sentences and the contents of said sentence, you blinked up at him, momentarily rendered speechless. He looked down at you appraisingly and took a step towards you, which was quite the feat in this cramped spot. Instinctively, you inched back, but smiled nervously as you didn’t want to be rude- you just wanted to get out of here and hook him up with his beloved Sean Clarke so you didn’t have to deal with him anymore.
“Don’t be so uptight, Riddle,” he drawled, having picked up on your attempts to bring some space between you and him. A lazy, sickening grin pulled at his lips and a shiver ran down your spine when his eyes wandered from your face down your body. His tongue darted out to lick his lips. “I bet no one’s even looking.”
“Can we get back to dancing?” you tried, fingers nervously clasping around each other as you glanced up at him. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest as you tried to suppress the panic that surged through you at the look in his eyes. “I don’t really feel like-”
His demeaning chuckle cut you off and to your horror, he grabbed the arm you had been reaching out to draw the curtains aside, as well as your waist. He pushed you against a small table, cornering you. You could smell the faint trace of alcohol on him, but he’d not had enough to be losing all sense. Which meant… You didn’t want it to be true, Merlin, you didn’t want Mattheo to be right. But it looked like you’d just walked into a trap, and it snapped shut when Terry leaned down and grinned unpleasantly. “Come on, don’t be like that, I’ve been nothing but nice to you all night.”
“Stop it,” you said in a low voice, doing your best to imitate Theo’s threatening tone that had any resistance crumble into a pathetic pile at his feet. But it didn’t work with Gryffindor’s six foot tall beater, of course.
Terry only laughed mockingly and his hands squeezed around your waist and arm. His eyes glinted as you attempted to free yourself. “Relax, it’s just a little fun- What, your brother gonna come drag you away?” He lowered his head and you tried pushing at his chest, but he didn’t move one bit and his fingers dug painfully into your flesh. “You don’t have to play so hard to get, you know?” he drawled, “I already know you like the attention. Why else would you have worn a dress like tha-”
Somehow, suddenly, out of nowhere, the curtains were ripped apart and Theo was there before you, before you even had time to process it- before Campbell could push his luck any further. His hand shot out, fingers locking around the bastard’s wrist in a vice grip, yanking it away from your waist with enough force to make him stumble back a step. His breathing was slow, measured, but everything else about him was tightly wound, coiled with barely restrained fury- his shoulders stiff, his jaw clenched so hard it looked like it might crack. His fingers flexed at his side like he was deciding whether to throw a punch or just break Campbell's wrist outright.
The usual composed calm in his expression was gone- his dark eyes burned with something lethal, something cold and merciless that had shivers run down your spine, even though it wasn’t directed at you but at Campbell, who recoiled visibly, wincing when Theo’s hand tightened around his wrist and cut off all blood flow. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, quiet, but razor-edged with warning. “You really don’t want to do that.”
“H-hey man,” laughed Campbell, voice shaking slightly with fear, and it was music to your ears. To have him at someone’s mercy, in someone’s unrelenting grip. For a moment, you wished you had Theo’s authority, menacing aura and reputation. Until you got half your mind back and inched away from Campbell, who had let go of your arm in an instant.
“It was just a bit of fun,” Campbell attempted to laugh it off, but Theo didn’t move- didn’t blink, didn’t loosen his grip. If anything, his fingers tightened around Campbell’s wrist, the tension in his arm rippling beneath his shirt. There was not the slightest trace of amusement on his stony face, no hint of his usual cool detachment- just a quiet, simmering rage, deadly in its restraint.
His head tilted slightly, voice dropping even lower, silk-smooth but edged with steel. “Didn’t seem like she was having fun to me.” His thumb pressed just slightly into the guy’s pulse point, a silent threat, a warning that needed no elaboration. The air around them felt sharp, electric, like the moment before a storm broke, and though Theo hadn’t thrown a single punch, it was clear he was seconds away from violence.
His gaze flickered over to you. But instead of softening, like it usually did, it only hardened as he snapped his eyes back at Campbell, who was unable to hide the panic etched into his expression. “Do yourself a favor,” Theo said darkly, threateningly, “Get lost. Now.” Still holding his wrist, he lowered his head and Campbell tried to avoid his piercing eyes. With eyes full of disgust and revulsion, Theo looked down on him. “I’ll find you tomorrow,” he growled with barely contained fury, released Campbell’s hand and tilted his head just the slightest bit.
In the split of a second, Campbell was gone, only the curtains still moving with the impact of his sudden departure. Theo turned to you, dread churning in his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to go after Campbell and make him bleed, make him pay, for daring to lay his filthy hands on you, for daring to feast his greedy eyes on you and trying to hurt you. The only thing keeping him in place was, at the same time, the only thing more important than his wrath- you.
Your eyes were locked on the swaying curtain where Campbell had just left, your shoulders slumped and to his horror, he noticed you were shaking slightly. The sight of your trembling fingers didn't do anything to calm the inferno barely contained within him, and he was tempted to take you with him and have you watch him destroy Campbell, so you would see what a miserable sack of human garbage he was, how he was nothing, how he would cower at your feet, beg for your mercy, and he’d punish him for it.
“Carina?”
Theo’s voice sounded through to you, over the ringing in your ears. Blinking rapidly, you bit down on your traitorously wobbling lip and turned to him without raising your gaze from the ground. “Merlin,” you whispered and heard your voice quiver uncontrollably. “I was so stupid.” Your eyes burned, both with shock and humiliation, and before you could properly avert your face, a tear slipped past the fragile dam.
His warm hands on your bare arms, so much more gentle and careful than Terry’s, almost made you shudder as you fought the urge to sink into him and cry away your worries on his shoulder, in spite of time and place, in spite of your determination to keep some level of composure. Theo’s thumbs brushed gently over your skin, so utterly comforting that it only made you well up more. “You weren't,” he said in a firm but calm voice, the rumble of his baritone soothing the trembling of your heart against your ribcage, as if it wanted to escape the confines of your body that suddenly felt so sullied.
An ironic, teary laugh slipped past your lips. “Yes, I am. Here I was, wanting to show Mattheo I can handle myself and now I need saving from you-” Your voice broke off and you covered your mouth with one hands to muffle the little sob building up in your throat.
Wiping at your cheeks stubbornly, you avoided his gaze determinately and preferred to watch the ripple of his sophisticated shirt as he leaned towards you, the smell of smoke, mint and old books tearing down your walls of resistance. Another tear. “You must think I'm an idiot,” you whispered as even more tears ran down your cheeks and the hand over your mouth shook.
“No, I don't,” said Theo, ever more firmly, and all of the sudden, you could feel the rough pads of his fingers under your chin, lifting it. There was no resistance left in you, not when his voice drowned out the unpleasant memory of Campbell and the overwhelming thumping of the music. But the look in his eyes almost made you flinch back. They were made of ice, hard and cold and beautiful, brimming with fury. Still, his grip barely tightened. As always, Theo was in perfect control of his body, of his every movement. Sometimes, that frustrated you, but now, you felt content knowing every touch of his was deliberate and trustworthy.
“I don't think you’re an idiot,” he reiterated, lowering his head to be more on eye level with you. “I think you picked the wrong guy. È semplice. Simple as that.”
It was too much, his voice, his words, the way the Italian rolled so smoothly off his tongue. Sniffing, you hid your head in his chest and his arms wrapped themselves around you, one hand holding your neck, brushing his thumb over your jaw and shielding you against him.
“You could do so much better,” his voice rumbled against your ear as he caressed your face and more tears stained his white shirt. You felt him tense up somewhat, a certain hint of frustration in his voice, though not directed at you, but rather at himself. “You should do so much better.”
Another bitter little laugh left your lips, a pang of daring born out of your shock and fear. “Like you?” Since you still hid your head in his chest, you didn't see the way his jaw clenched at your words.
He could imagine it so well- a world in which you would have worn that dress for him, and only for him. In which he’d have waited for you by your dorm, would have led you through the halls to Slughorn’s party and fended all other people off to take you to dance. How you would have moved, and smiled, and laughed; laughed just for him. How you would have trusted him with yourself. He would have made sure you got to enjoy yourself, would have made the night unforgettable. Would have taken you back to your dorm and shown you just how much of a goddess you were- even without the dress on.
Already regretting your rash words, you pried yourself from his hug, too busy whipping the last remnants of tears from your cheeks to notice the way his eyes had darkened and fingers curled at his sides, as if burning to pull you back against him. “Can we get out of here?” you asked, looking up at him, and he nodded, tugging the curtains aside to lead you out of the secluded corner.
Theo’s hand rested on your lower back as if it belonged there, as he guided you through chattering and dancing bodies, clearing a path for you through the sea of laughter and music. The party’s noises and colors had long become overwhelming to you, so you let him guide you through the crowd and to the door leading out of the room. Taking a longer step, he opened it for you, lead you through and closed it behind you. As soon as the door fell shut with a resounding clang and the coolness and quiet of the nightly castle halls welcomed you, you could breathe steadily again.
Theo shook off his jacket and wrapped it over your shoulders like a proper gentleman, adjusting it to make sure it didn't slip. He was a bit old school, but you liked it. Luckily, the night hid the dust of pink on your cheeks as the warmth engulfed you like a hug and shielded you against the nightly cold. His hand still on your lower back, Theo guided you down the stairs and along the corridor, a comfortable silence settling between you. You had a feeling he was slowing his pace to match yours, as your legs were still a little shaky.
When you walked by the courtyard, you slowed your steps and looked up at him, noticing the way the pale moonlight only accentuated the sharp line of his jaw. “Can we sit outside for a moment?”
Theo did not at all like how flimsy and unprotected against the cold you were dressed, but he nodded. He couldn't let you go unprotected, after all. Right, he was just following your brother’s instructions. Just that. Once more, he adjusted his jacket before allowing you to pull him by the arm out into the courtyard, striding towards one of the benches. Before you could sit, he wiped away the leaves and twigs on your side and then sat down next to you, feeling himself grow calmer as he listened to your steady breathing and watched it come out in puffs from your lips. Your lips. You’d put lipgloss on, and his eyes clung to the way they looked so plump and soft, ready to be ravaged.
“Theo?”
“Mm?” he asked distractedly, still mesmerized by the way your lips looked, moved, parted, huffed out silvery breaths.
“Can you-,” you hesitated for a second and threw him a quick glance. “Can you not tell Mattheo about how horrible this went?” Theo looked down at you steadily, with a serious, unmoved expression on his face as he was waiting for you to continue.
With a defeated sigh, you propped up your head and your hands, elbows on your knees, and stared ahead. “You know how he’ll get if he finds out. He’ll go completely bonkers, and he’s so reckless, I wouldn’t be surprised if he risked more than detention.” Maybe even Azkaban. Because he had sworn to you earlier that evening that he would kill Campbell if he laid so much as a hand on you. But you had no interest in Campbell dying, you just never wanted to see his stupid face again.
Still, Theo remained quiet and you rocked your leg anxiously, your voice a breath against the nightly breeze. “And if he knows… if you tell him… he’ll be right.” Again, you felt the sharp prick of tears behind your eyes, but before they could flow, a warm hand came to rest against your waist and you gave into its urge by leaning against his shoulder. Resting your head on him, you couldn’t see his face properly, but his voice was louder and clearer than yours had been. Still, he seemed to have understood every word.
“He wouldn’t,” said Theo calmingly, rubbing circles on your dress and calming your breathing in return. “I know you can take care of yourself. Also.”
You were surprised by the somewhat humorous tone in his voice as he lightly nudged your head with his, making you raise your head from his shoulder and look up at him. Mere inches separated your noses as his darkend eyes reflected the starry sky above Hogwarts. There was a rare, jocular twinkle in them as his hand came up from your waist to cup your cheek. “You are his older sister after all.”
A dry chuckle left your lips, but your heart was lighter than before and you managed to crack a genuine smile. “You’re right,” you grinned weakly, not even thinking of bringing more distance between you and his magnetizing eyes. “I should rightfully rule over him.”
A gentle smirk tugged at his lips, and he didn’t make a move to separate from you either, his thumb running along your jaw. “With an iron fist, bella.”
But then, his gaze darkened again as his eyes lost all light. You could almost understand why people tended to flinch back from him in fear, though the threatening look in his eyes couldn’t make you frightened for yourself. Still, his thumb brushed gentle strokes up your jaw and his trusted scent clouded your senses. “I will hurt him for what he did to you,” muttered Theo, his voice so quiet you could only hear it because he practically breathed the words against your lips.
Maybe he had expected you to back away, look horrified, or tell him off for doing what Mattheo would have done. But you only nodded, like you had known it all along. “I know,” you echoed his thoughts, looking serious and tugging his jacket tighter around yourself, not breaking eye contact. “But I trust you to handle the situation better. You are … less clouded by emotions.”
The irony almost made him smile, how you thought he would be measured, would be reasonable, rational, when he had never felt more clouded by emotions as when you looked up at him now, your wide eyes still showing the last remnants of your tears. An iron grip was around his heart, refusing to loosen, so he forced himself to avert his eyes, so you wouldn’t see the hate brimming in them- not at you, of course, but at the world who kept cracking down on someone as good as you.
But he didn’t correct you, instead skimming his eyes over the lace of your dress, the way it swayed gently in the breeze. You had looked so pretty in it- still did. A shame, truly. Both you and this dress deserved better. When he adjusted the hem slightly, he caught goosebumps break out under his touch and hated himself for the light tinge of satisfaction it gave him.
“You look stunning in that dress,” he muttered lowly, looking back up at you. It seemed like your eyes hadn’t left him, even after he had averted his, and the way you leaned trustingly into his touch twisted his insides with conflicting emotion.
Your hand found his and squeezed, and now he himself had to suppress a shudder at your soft touch. It really shouldn’t be bothering him, shouldn’t be affecting him this much. He had touched you plenty of times before, as you had, too. Your touch was more familiar to him than that of his parents, or his friends. Your warmth a constant in the wild tides breaking all around him, disrupting the world he had meant to break into order for you.
“Thank you,” you said breathlessly, giving his hand a light squeeze. Returning it, he watched you, and you shifted under his gaze, feeling scrutinized.
“Mi dispiace (i’m sorry),” he said sincerely, finally holding your gaze again. “For your ruined night, carina. You deserve so much better.”
You shrugged, giving him a half-smile. “Well, you know what they say, play stupid games and win stupid prizes. And anyway, it wasn’t your fault. And,” your eyes fell to your interlocked hands, his long fingers engulfing yours like they never wanted to let you go again. “Thank you, Theo. For getting me out of there. Merlin knows what would have happened if you hadn’t.”
His jaw clenched visibly at the thought, and he attempted to concentrate on the feel of your soft skin against his to ground him, as images of what he would do to Campbell flashed in his mind. Your ironic chuckle pulled you out of his spiraling thoughts. “I couldn’t even push him off. The way you just looked at him and he ran off…,” you swallowed thickly. “I wish I wasn't this weak.”
“It’s not a weakness,” he disagreed and you opened your mouth to argue back, but the look in his eyes extinguished every and all protest on your tongue. “It’s not a weakness,” he repeated firmly, locking you in place with his cerulean eyes. His thumb ran over your knuckles, but neither of you dared look away from the other. “It’s a show of strength,” he said, his Italian accent a little more prominent than before. “The world didn’t manage to take away your kindness.”
He leaned in further when he saw the frown forming on your face. “You are stronger than me. And for all those who think otherwise,” his voice got more grave as he spoke, more intense, “who think they can use you or hurt you, you have me to deal with him.”
Frozen, unable to talk back and disagree with his rather flattering interpretation of yourself, you stared at him, his words replaying in your mind. You had him. Him. Not them. He wasn’t talking about himself and your brother, just about himself. He would deal with anyone who hurt you. A shiver ran through your body, but it wasn’t because of the dark promise he had extended towards you. Where it was received inside you, it curled up, warm, like a whispered secret. He would take care of you.
To your grief, that care seemed to be extendable to other areas as well, as Theo's attentive eyes caught the goosebumps on your arms and your light shivering. Loosening his hand from yours, he placed it again on the small of your back, frowning. “We have to get you inside, amore. You will catch death out here.” Begrudgingly, you agreed, partially because you couldn’t say no to those eyes.
With a gentle rub of his hand, he helped you stand and adjusted his jacket over your shoulders. Then, he led you inside again, where, though it wasn’t much warmer, the cold breeze subsided. But when he turned to the stairs leading down to the dungeons, you halted your steps, causing him to stop as well and raise his brow at you. You gave him a pleading look as you held on to his jacket for support. “He’ll be waiting. I don't want him to ask questions when I turn up so early.”
Theo sighed, running a hand through his dark curls, but he nodded and you gave him a grateful smile. “Come with me,” he said, gratuitously, as if you wouldn't have followed him anywhere without him having to ask. But you nodded and let him take you up a staircase into the Transfiguration corridor, where he opened the first door with a bit of wandless magic.
Any other night, you might have protested breaking into a classroom, but you made no sound of complaint as he opened the door for you and led you inside, closing it softly behind you so the noise would go undetected. A small click told you that he had locked it again, though Filch was rarely out and about on nights of Slughorn’s parties, as too many partygoers drove him mad.
As you sat down on one of the tables in the front row, hands tugged into the pockets of Theo's jacket, he opened one of the closets, seemingly looking for something. Seconds later, he reemerged, balancing a board of chess in one hand. Something like a satisfied smile tugged at his lips when your eyes lit up in an instant. He walked over, placing the board on the desk you sat on, before hoisting himself up to sit on the other end, undoing the first few buttons of his shirt to find a more relaxed position.
Your eyes clung to the exposed skin of his collar for just a moment, but a moment too long, as he quirked a teasing brow at you when you snapped your eyes back to his face. Feeling your face grow hot, you busied yourself with placing the chess figures on the board. White for you, black for him, as always. His eyes followed the movement of your hands on the board and you felt a certain nervosity coil in your stomach at the intensity with which he observed your hands.
Once the board was ready, you did the first move. His eyes snapped up at you shortly before he extended his veiny hand to move one of his central pawns. And so it continued. You both made your moves, sometimes fast and certain, other times slow and hesitant. His brows were drawn in concentration, and you attempted to focus on the game instead of the way his pensive expression made you want to lean over and kiss him.
Theo was a formidable chess player, and you weren’t so bad yourself. When you had both finished your school work, playing chess was a common pastime in his room, both of you sitting on his sheets and balancing the board between you. It wasn't so different now, only that you were starting to notice things in the pale moonlight you hadn’t before.
The deliberate movement of his hands, how his fingers sometimes stilled over the board as he glanced up at you, gauging your reaction to what he was about to do. The way he ran his hands through his hair after you’d made a good move, and the way his lips would quirk whenever he’d taken advantage of one of your weak positions. He was so utterly magnetizing you had to force your attention on the game, determined not to let him beat you too easily. Usually, it was Theo who won the match, but you tended to put up a good figh. It wasn’t easy to entertain him, but somehow, it was always him who asked for a match or had already got out the board when you arrived.
Unbeknownst to you, you weren’t the only one somewhat distracted. Usually, it was enough for Theo to analyze your moves and strategies, never having had a problem with wavering concentration, unlike his best mate. Something was different tonight. Maybe it was the dress. Only now did he realize how low-cut it really was, made worse by the fact that you had to lean over the desk to move your chess men, giving him an enticing view of your cleavage- if he hadn’t physically restrained himself from looking by digging his nails into the palms of hands violently. Maybe it was his jacket on you. This clear sign of his claim on you.
Feeling dirty and horrible for these thoughts, he looked back down to the board he had been absentmindedly moving figures on and realized he hadn’t seized an important opportunity, but rather allowed you to break through his rangs so that now, you were in a position to take his queen. He cursed quietly under his breath and you gave him a sceptical and somewhat accusatory look.
“You’re letting me win.”
“I’m not,” he replied truthfully, but you didn’t believe him, and how was he supposed to explain to you that he had been so occupied with staring at you he had let his concentration slip to such a point? He himself was a little shocked, having believed his discipline to be stronger after years and years of rigorous training. But you were still you, amd if someone could distract him, it had to be you.
“Check,” you mumbled, and you both did a few more moves until you said “Checkmate” and took his king with your queen. But you remained in place, neither of you willing to let this moment pass without resolving the unspoken tension that had settled in the air between you as you played.
Without taking his eyes off yours, Theo flicked his wrist and made the board and pieces fly back into the cupboard, which sealed itself. Closing the now unoccupied distance between you, both of you shuffled closer on the desk, neither breaking eye contact. Suddenly, you caught a movement out of the corner of your eye. It was his hand, moving slowly towards your face, hovering in the air for the split of a second before cupping your cheek and tilting your head lightly, reveling in the way you gave into his touch so willingly.
“I must confess something, carina,” his voice sounded into the silence and you frowned, your heart beating faster with anticipation. A light smile settled on his lips, uncharacteristically sheepish, as his thumb brushed over your lower lip, eyes locked on the way it gave in to the pressure of his thumb. “I might have been assigned to you tonight, to protect you.”
Ignoring the pang of disappointment in your chest, you scoffed without any malice behind it. But you refused to look away as his breath mingled with yours, the silence in the classroom seeming louder than before. The space between you had disappeared without either of you noticing, and his fingers were warm against your skin. His touch was careful, almost hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure he was allowed, but he didn’t pull away. His gaze flickered between your eyes and lips, dark and unreadable, his breathing slow but unsteady. The air between you felt thick, charged, like the moment before lightning struck.
You should have moved. Said something. Diffused the situation before it crossed the point of no return. But you didn’t. Couldn’t. The warmth of him, the way his knee pressed against yours, the way his breath ghosted over your lips- it held you in place. His grip tightened just slightly, as if grounding himself, as if testing if you’d pull away. But you didn’t. The silence stretched, became unbearable, and your lips parted, his eyes clinging to them.
“Well, Theo. Are you going to protect me from yourself?”
It was the last straw. Suddenly, his lips were on yours, soft but firm, moving against yours and you gave into him in an instant, as if on instinct. Both his hands cupped your face now, tilting it slightly to give himself a better angle. His lips were so soft you wondered whether he’d put on lipbalm earlier, his touch so tender you couldn’t help but feel content, right here and there. You kissed him back, but he took the lead with unmistakable certainty, tugging lightly at your lower lip with his teeth and making your breath hitch before closing the distance once more.
But there was something missing. Theo was kissing and touching you as if you were made of glass and could shatter at the lightest touch. His kisses were loving, but careful, only gently tugging at the curtains you wished to rip open and let your senses be overflown with sunlight.
The moment he detected you struggling to catch your breath, he released your lips, looking down on your flushed face with a light smile. So damn satisfied, so superior. But you’d show him. Fisting your hands in his shirt, you leaned up at him but he evaded your lips, tutting softly at your endeavors and the frown scrunching your brows together.
Feeling quite frustrated and desperate to release the tension that had been brimming inside you all day, you scraped together your last bits of Italian you had picked up, poring over language books in the library. Your voice shook, uncertain, as you spoke, and the words came out slightly broken, almost inaudible. “Ti voglio… così … così tanto,” you said breathlessly, and in what had to be a heavy english accent. (I want you so much)
Theo let out a shaky exhale, and he corrected you without thinking, his voice so low it sounded more like a rumble. “Ti voglio così tanto.”
A beat. Silence. And then, finally, something inside him seemed to snap. The careful restraint in his grip vanished, replaced by something raw, something reckless. His fingers slid back into your hair, tightening just enough to tilt your face up to his as his lips crashed onto yours, all hesitation gone. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t measured. It was heated, desperate, like he had been holding himself back for too long and had finally lost the battle.
His other hand found your waist, pulling you closer, pressing you flush against him as if he needed to feel you, to prove to himself that you were here, that this was real. A low sound rumbled in his throat as he deepened the kiss, as his fingers curled tighter against your waist, as he poured everything- every once of frustration, every unsaid thing, every moment spent pretending it wasn’t inevitable - into the way his lips moved against yours.
His hand on your waist slid down to your thigh, grabbing a handful and pulling you every more closer until you sat halfway in his lap. At his firm touch, your breath hitched in your throat and he responded with a low growl, hand slipping higher and higher until-
You pulled away, chest heaving and head spinning, unable to grasp a thought. But fear had surged through you, as the images of the boys you’d kissed before flashed in your mind, after Mattheo had been done with them. Panic and pleasure coiled into an almost painful knot in your throat and all you could think, as you tightened your hands in his shirt, was not him, not him, not him. You shouldn't be doing this. He was your brother’s best friend, he was off limits. He was freedom.
“Carina?” his voice broke through to the hazy mist clouding your mind and you looked up at him with wide eyes. The look on his face took you off guard, because you had never seen him look scared before. Maybe you had even thought impossible. But now, his voice shook slightly as he ran his thumb over your jaw and his other hand departed from your upper thigh. “I’m sorry, carina. Merda- fuck- I- I shouldn't have, Non stavo pensando-” (I wasn't thinking)
Theo seemed to take your lack of response as fright rather than what it was: perplexity. Because Theodore Nott hadn't had trouble with slipping in and out of English since first grade. But now, as his eyes frantically searched your face for a reaction, as apologies stumbled from his tongue, he almost seemed unable to control in what language they were in.
Theo was astonished how quickly emotion and desire had taken over his senses, his body, his sacred self-control. Only now did he realize how reckless he had been, kissing you like that after just saving you from a handsy stronzo. Where had his filter been when he’d kissed you like that, when his hand had slipped up your dress, when your little gasps had only spurred him on? But you didn't seem as fearful as him, only staring at him with wide eyes as if he’d just discovered a damn new species. Running a hand through his hair in desperation, he lowered his voice. “Parlami, per favore. Talk to me, carina.”
Snapping back to your senses, you shook your head at him rapidly. “It's not- I didn't mean-”. You felt your cheeks grow hot but you held your gaze steady and didn't loosen the grip you had on his shirt. “I liked it. It was great. I was just-” You took a few breaths through your mouth, considering the words, weighing them in your mind before allowing your tongue to form a sentence. As you pondered your words, he sat still as a block of ice, staring down at you with those mesmerizing blue eyes of his.
“I don't want Mattheo to hurt you!” you finally managed to say and his brow arched. Frustrated with your lack of an explanation, you looked around the room as if the perfect sentence to explain your desperate predicament would jump out of one of the cupboards. “I know what he did to the other boys,” you said, forcing yourself to stay calm, “to the other boys I've kissed. I don't want him to hurt you. A- and,” you hated yourself for the way your voice broke off and you had to start the sentence over, “and I know you love him like a brother, and you are his best friend, and I don't want to ruin that.”
“Oh carina,” he sighed, rolling the r even more heavily than usual, and the small smile that tugged at his lips had the conflicting desires to hit him or kiss him battle inside of you. Theo visibly relaxed, the tension leaving his shoulders and the movements of his fingers settling into a calm rhythm once more. His relaxed stance didn't even make the slightest bit of sense to you as you frowned at him, voice laced with fear and worry.
“Mattheo will kill you.”
Theo’s heart seized as he looked into your worried, fearful eyes. Worried for him, your hand clutching his shirt like you never wanted to let him go. You didn't want to ruin his friendship with Mattheo. You were afraid he would hurt him. Dio, you were so fucking selfless, so sweet and caring. How could anyone see you as unapproachable or cold, or anything short of wonderful? But at the same time, the kiss-induced haze in his mind slowly started to clear up as he seemed to sober up, recognizing the sensibility of your words. Right. You were Mattheo's sister. You were off-limits.
It cost him every last ounce of self-control to pry your fingers away from his shirt gently, and a numb pain tugged at his heartstrings when they fell purposelessly into your lap. “Let's get you back to your dorm,” he mumbled, trying to be the voice of reason, not the greedy vulture raging inside his head that yearned to rip that pretty dress off of you and worship you like you deserved, to make you forget all about Campbell and his disgusting attempts. He longed to hear the sounds you would make when he touched you in all the right places, he wanted you to curl your fingers into his hair, he wanted to hear you moan his name, and his name only.
But alas, he stepped back from the table, banning the forbidden images from his head, and approached the door, desperately trying to clear his head. It was only when his hand hovered over the door handle that he realized you hadn't followed. Turning around, he saw you were still sitting where he had left you, on the desk, clutching his jacket around yourself, eyes fixed on him. The glint in them was dangerous, it tempted him more than anything, drew him in like a magnet. Shakily breathing out, he turned and faced the door, fingers closing around the handle. “Tell me to go.”
There was a pause, during which he could only hear your breathing, still labored as a result of the messy kiss. He could picture you so well. Clutching his jacket, your hair disheveled where his fingers had run through it and your eyes- dio, your eyes… When you spoke, your voice was quiet, but firm. As if you'd made up your mind about something. “You never listen to me anyway.”
That was all it took for his resolve to crumble. Mattheo and chivalry be damned as he turned on his heel and had reached you in a few strides, crashing his lips against yours. As his hands on your neck urged you ever more closer, you let out a surprised squeak, but the split of a second later, your eyes fluttered close and you kissed him back, losing yourself in the bliss.
Low phrases were muttered against your lips, but you barely registered them as you kissed him back just as feverishly as he did. Your shaky fingers ran over his chest, looking for any sort of halt, and he rumbled lowly into your mouth as his grip on you tightened and he opened your lips with his tongue. As his tongue slid into your mouth, it met little resistance. Instead, your fingers closed around his tie, unintentionally tugging him even closer to you and he cupped the back of your head, fingers carding into your hair. An embarrassing little mewl left your lips and the vehemence of the kiss made you lean back on the table, your back hovering inches above the surface. He followed, chasing your lips, closing in on you again and again and exploring the insides of your mouth with his tongue.
You had subconsciously been inching back on the desk and his hands departed from your neck to bury themselves in the flesh of your hip. With one fluid motion, he pulled you back over the smooth surface of the desk until your clothed core met his and you could feel his desire. Your skirt had ridden up to your upper thighs, but you made no attempts to fix it as you leaned into his touch, his kiss, his smell, his very being.
You could barely believe this was happening, the stuff of your forbidden little ovulation daydreams, and if his fingers hadn’t been kneading the flesh of your exposed thigh so maddeningly, you would have pinched yourself to make sure this was real. But it felt almost too real, too intense, too all-consuming, as his large palms ran over every inch of your body they could reach and he panted against your lips before clashing his onto yours again. Insatiable, ferocious, yearning for every part of you he could grasp.
If you had thought you were the only one desperate for the other, you had been so, so wrong. His frantic kisses and desperate touches were enough to convince you otherwise, his usual calm and coldness missing as you felt so fucking hot under his deft hands.
Experimentally, you rolled your hips against his crotch. His grip on your waist and hip tightened, fingers curling harshly into your flesh as he let out a shaky breath against your lips. But his voice was steady and firm as he warned you, “Careful with that, principessa.”
But you wanted to see him crumble, you wanted to see him lose control more than anything. So you leaned up at him, chased his lips and gave him your best doe eyes. His eyes gleaned dangerously in the relative darkness of the classroom as you tightened your grip on his shirt. “Theo…,” you asked in a pleading voice, trying to convey how damn needy he made you feel, how much his touch riled you up until all you could think was him, him , him, and the way he pressed against your pulsing core. “Per favore…”
Again, the Italian seemed to do the trick. Something in his gaze shifted as his eyes snapped down to your lips, and further down, over your heaving chest to your bare thighs, molding into the touch of his large hands. He was panting, fighting against the utter loss of control, but when you repeated the words in the most adorable English accent and rolled your hips against his once more, he couldn’t help himself any longer.
Theo’s head dipped down to your neck and you mewled when you felt his lips trail down your throat. His tongue licked a long stripe up the column of your throat, where your breath hitched and he chuckled darkly against your skin. Breathing in your perfume that always fucking lingered in the room when you were there, so near and out of reach, he connected his lips to your sensitive spot and felt a jolt of pleasure at your high-pitched gasp.
Suddenly, for the split of a second, your mind cleared up and you tugged his head away from your neck in a panic. You only got a low growl in response, along with a roll of his lips that made you mewl softly and slap a hand over your mouth at the embarrassing sound. “Th- theo," you managed to stutter out, the words falling clumsily from your kiss-bitten lips. You only got a throaty sound in return and your grip in his hair tightened. “Theo, h- he can’t see.”
That, if nothing else, made him halt his relentless ministrations of your neck and raise his head to look down on you. You looked so utterly irresistible in the dim moonlight shining through the windows. Your hair a mess, your lips plump and swollen, your eyes wide and fearful. Fearful for him. Merlin, he felt like he had the whole world at his fingertips. His intense gaze made you shudder as you leaned up again, a pleading look in your eyes and laced into the tone of your voice. “Theo-”
But before you could say more, he cupped your cheeks and kissed your temple, breathing in through his nose as if commanding oxygen back into his lungs. “I’ll just have to do it somewhere else then, won’t I?” he said under his breath, lips departing from yours kin so he could get another proper look at you and your flushed face. “Somehwere he can’t see.” His tone was so utterly seductive you could only nod, you knew your voice would break if you had tried to reply.
But he tutted softly, tilting his head and you recognized the teasing look in his eyes. His hand cupped your cheek and his thumb ran over your bottom lip, eyes following the way it gave into his touch. “You’ve got to use your words, principessa, tell me what to do.”
Frustrated with his teasing, you moved your hips against his until his hands gripped at your waist, keeping you in place. He raised his brow at you. “Not cheating, are we?” One of his hands ran over your thigh gently, making any and all protest die on your tongue. A sharp gasp left your lips when it surged forward and cupped your crotch. Biting down on your lip, you suppressed a moan as he engulfed your clothed core with his large hand and tilted his head at you, brow still raised. “Anyone ever touched you there, carina?” A mocking smile curled his lips. “Anyone but yourself, I mean.”
Panting pathetically, you shook your head and he cooed at you, gently rubbing his palm over your cunt in a way that had you squirm against his hold. “H- ha, no one,” you gasped, hiding your blushing face in his biceps as your fingers curled into his shoulders, keeping you steady. “No one’s touched me there but y- you, Theo.”
Though Theo might have seemed all calm and collected, his mind was spinning at your words. With the revelation that he’d be the first man to touch you, to claim you, to ruin you for any other pathetic guy that might attempt to take his place. Because you belonged to him. He had to suppress a groan at the thought, but commanded himself to discipline. This night was yours, he was yours, and he had to keep his mind focused on you, on your pleasure.
In one motion, he hiked up your skirt until it was bunched up around your midriff, giving him the perfect view of your white lace panties against the dark wood of the desk. Licking his lips, he met your wide-eyed gaze. “Lay down on the desk, principessa.” That was right. You would be his princess tonight.
With great satisfaction, he watched you follow his order immediately. Your back met the wood of the desk and you suirmed against his hold to get comfortable, staring up at the ceiling. Your heart beat against your ribs like crazy, the sound of it filling your ears. His face had disappeared from your sight. All you could feel now were his hands, one keeping your hips in place, the other running a slow pair of fingers up your clothed folds. Your breath hitched in your throat and you bit down on your bottom lip in an attempt to stifle the embarrassing sounds building up in your throat.
His next command sounded, soft but firm. “Spread your legs.” You did, thighs trembling, and you propped yourself up on one elbow just in time to see his eyes widen at the sight of you. Registering even the smallest movement, his eyes snapped up at you and you immediately laid back down on the surface of the desk, making him smile softly.
Theo got to his knees, nudging your thighs further apart and reveled in the abashed sounds coming from you. His fingers halted their movements on your clothed cunt to hook themselves around the hem of your lace panties and tug. A small squeak left your mouth and he chuckled. “So responsive…” In one tug, he slid off your underwear and discarded it somewhere next to him.
Your cunt was just as cute as he had imagined, and glistening with slick in the pale moonlight. Bringing his fingers back down to your cunt, he collected some of the substance, making you jolt. “All that for me?” he asked, teasingly, catching your frantic nod out of the corner of his eye. Then, he dove down and his lips met your puffy folds.
Shocked by the sudden feelings of his mouth against your cunt, you slapped your hand over your mouth to muffle the moan that had threatened to escape you. But it was hard to keep your mind on the possible risk of getting caught in this utterly humiliating position when his tongue licked a long stripe up your folds, before diving in as if you were his last meal on earth.
Feeling his nose against your folds, his lips closed around your clit and you stifled another moan. With a low rumbling sound, one of his hands left your thigh and out of the corner of your eye, you caught him flick his wand at the door, suddenly deafening the sounds of wind howling in the courtyard. Before you could fully realize that he had just cast a muffliato charm on the door, his hand shot up and closed around both of your wrists, yanking them down and pinning them down against your hips. This had the added effect of stopping them from bucking against his face as he took advantage of the new angle to delve into your pussy like it was the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted.
When he sucked at your clit, you moaned loudly, unable to muffle the sounds with your pinned-down hands, and your cheeks heated with shame. But Theo only chuckled against your folds, feeling his cock harden painfully against the confines of his trousers. Your little moans and mewls were music to his ears, and he worked his tongue tirelessly against your clit, eager to elicit more from you.
Releasing your other thigh, the hand that wasn’t holding down your bucking hips and binding your wrists wandered up to your cunt and he slowly entered his index finger into your tight little hole. He chuckled into your glistening folds when your back arched off the desk. What he wasn’t prepared for, however, was the cry of his name that left your throat.
He damn near jolted, feeling blood rush towards his cock and, as if on instinct, his finger curled up inside of you, eliciting a strangled moan from you. He delved back into your warmth, working on your pretty pink hole with his index finger and sucking and licking at your clit until you were writhing and squirming against the desk, hips bucking helplessly but being held down by his unrelenting grip. Again, you mewled his name and he groaned into your pussy, feeling his knees grow weak and his head grow foggy.
Dio, how he could have listened to you saying his name like this forever. How often had he pictured you, whining and moaning, his name rolling off your tongue so filthily? But none of his filthy dreams could have prepared him for the real thing. His hips bucked helplessly into mere air when you moaned his name again, high-pitched and desperate as you shook under his hold. You were heavenly.
Theo's ministrations on your poor cunt were relentless, systematic and meticulous as you felt your insides tighten with white hot pleasure. You were barely in control of your whole body anymore, it felt as if he was a puppeteer, tugging knowingly at your strings and making you jolt and squirm, making you dance for him on the hard surface of the desk. All you could feel was him, all of your senses overtaken with white-hot pleasure. Your ears were ringing, so that you could barely make out your own words, repetitions of his name stumbling from your lips like a prayer.
He groaned against you, his grip on you tightening as his finger pistoned in and out of you, steadily working to make you unravel completely. “Che bei suoni, carina,” he moaned against your folds, liking up a long stripe and making your breath hitch audibly. “Una ragazza così brava, cazzo, such a good girl.”
His words made you whine as a coil tightened in your lower abdomen. You could almost feel his grin against your clit as his tongue darted out to draw circles on it and nearly drive you mad with the electrifying sensation. “You like being called a good girl, don’t you, carina?”
You could only mewl helplessly in response and his finger met that spot in you with a harsh thrust that had you cry out his name in ecstasy. “I asked you a question,” he growled and you felt tears form in your eyes at the overwhelming mounting of pleasure. Another finger of his started to draw circles on your clit, meticulous and experienced, as his grim blue eyes entered your vision, alight with something dangerous.
Nodding helplessly, you tried to force your tongue to form words as he knowingly hit every spot inside you that had you fall aprt and trash against his hold. “I- fuck, yes!”
A lazy smirk tugged at his lips as he dipped his head back down, continuing his ministrations on your cunt. You attempted to roll your hips against his face, chasing the pleasure, but he tutted at you and pressed your hips down, making you sob in frustration. “Poor girl,” he chuckled against your hot wetness, “Can you take another finger, dolcezza?”
You nodded shakily, small whines of “yes, yes, yes,” filling the air. Your walls stretched deliciously around him when he added another finger. Throwing your head back with a moan, your thighs closed without your permission and finally, Theo released your wrists and hip to keep them parted, mumbling curses in Italian against your heat. His fingers curled up against the spot he now found with infuriating accuracy and instinctively, your hand shot up to your mouth to stifle the cry of pleasure threatening to burst past your lips.
But Theo seemed none too pleased with that, as his hand came down to deliver a not so gentle slap against your pussy. A cry of his name left your throat as your hips bucked with the delicious mix of pleasure and pain.
To stop yourself from covering your mouth again, you moved your trembling fingers down to his hair, where they gripped his curls in a desperate attempt to ground yourself. Theo didn't seem to mind, his tongue working restlessly on your clit, and he barely grunted when you tugged at his curls, another flash of burning pleasure shooting through you, making your thighs tremble in his hold.
Lost in pleasure, you could barely control your babbling anymore as everything and anything crossing your mind made it past your lips without filter. “H-he’ll kill you,” you hiccuped weakly, tears running down your cheeks as you felt the pleasure mount inside you. “Mattheo, he’ll m-murder you for th-this, s-so ah!” You gasped when his fingers curled inside you again, working meticulously on bringing you to your high as your walls clenched in a vice-like grip around them.
“I-I hope you’ve made peace with your life,” you slurred with half a mind and his tongue only worked faster on your clit as he hummed in content. “Cazzo- then I’ll die, carina. Dio sa, this is fucking worth it.”
Ramming his fingers into your squelching cunt, he looked up at your writhing and moaning figure, feeling something swell, not only in his trousers but in his chest. He had you like this. You, the untouched, off-limits sister of his best friend, the temptation he could never give into, the prize he could never have- and now he had you. Right where he wanted you. Falling apart on his tongue and his fingers, moaning his name to the heavens, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. And fuck him if he would earn Mattheo’s wrath, fuck him if he got into hell for sullying something so good, so pure, because it just felt so damn good.
You felt so damn good, he could feel himslef becoming light-headed, not even being inside you, alone from the image of you arching your back off the table, your pretty face flushed and scrunched up with pleasure. The image of his darkest dreams. He himself couldn’t even differentiate whether the praises and curses against your tongue were in English or his mother tongue as your high-pitched moans filled his ears.
His fingers hit the spot that had you tremble mindlessly again, and again, and again, until your walls clenched tightly around them and something between a sob and a moan broke out of your throat. “Th- theo, I’m cumming!”
As your high washed over you, you could do nothing but gasp and shake against him, as pleasure as you’d never once felt it crashed down on you and nearly made you see the pearly gates of heaven. A loud cry left your throat, and you didn’t even have half a mind to be thankful for the muffliato charm he had put on the door. All you could do was absolutely fucking fall apart on his fingers.
They worked you steadily through your high, his middle finger rubbing lazy circles on your clit as the world slowly took shape again around you and you felt his lips travel up the side of your jaw. “Such a good fucking girl, dolcezza, give me everything you've got.”
And give him everything you did, riding out your high against his fingers until you collapsed in his arms. He caught you before you could hit the table, fingers rubbing over your overstimulated cunt one last time before he dipped down to kiss you. You should have been embarrassed about tasting yourself on his tongue, but to your own surprise, a low moan left your lips. He swallowed it up eagerly, whispering praises between kisses. “Y’ did so well, my sweet fucking girl,” he mumbled, making you sigh into his next peck, “Did so damn good.”
As your breathing slowly calmed and no longer came out in ragged gasps, he helped you sit up and stood before you, before the desk, smiling down at you with one of those rare smiles of his. The lower half of his face was dripping with your release and your cheeks grew impossibly hot. “S- sorry,” you mumbled, raising a shaky hand to wipe some of it away, but he caught your hair mid motion and pressed a trail of kisses over your palm, down the skin of your upper arm.
When your arm fell slack against your side, he gave you a teasing grin and darted out his tongue to lick some of your juices from his lips. Chuckling at your wide eyes, he pressed his lips to your temple and ran a hand through your hair. “How’re you feeling, carina?”
“Uh-,” you muttered , voice raspy and shaky. “G- good. I think.” An abashed smile tugged at your lips and he returned it with his casual confidence, cupping your face to kiss you softly. His lips met yours in a tender caress and you leaned into him as if he were your lifeline.
Slowly, the realization of what you had just done dawned on you. And you noticed another thing: something firm and hard pressing against your thigh. With trembling fingers, you sneaked a hand between your bodies, hovering over the tent in his trousers for a moment of hesitation before palming it through the fabric. In an instant, his grip on your face tightened and he let out a low hiss. You only felt spurred on, but to your disappointment, his larger hand wrapped around your wrist and gently tugged it away from his clothed erection.
“Not that I would ever spurn your touch,” he mumbled sheepishly, visibly more light-hearted than before but with a certain strain in his voice that undoubtedly was the result of his unresolved business down there. “But not tonight.”
He smiled at the way your brows scrunched up in a frown, hands fisting his shirt as you pulled him closer. “But-”
He shut you up with another kiss that had you cave in immediately, rubbing slow circles on your exposed thigh. “Another night,” he whispered against your lips, “I’ll take care of this myself.” Your eyes fluttered shut with the way he kissed you so gently, yet unrelenting. The tone of his voice told you, unmistakably, that you had no chance convincing him to let you help him.
“But, don’t you want it?” you breathed against his lips, a certain anxiety curling in your stomach.
But he only chuckled, somewhat darkly, and continued to rub circles on your thigh. “Dio, of course I want it. Ah-” With a soft tut, he caught your wrist once more and guided it to his lips to press a soft kiss onto the back of your hand. “Let me worry about that.” There was no room for argument or protest, so you sighed and shrugged, making him smile again. You had rarely witnessed a smile of his last so long. Usually, it were quips of amusement, glimpses behind the stony facade, but he seemed to be in an exceptionally good mood.
“Another time,” you agreed, leaning up to welcome another peck of his lips. Retreating slowly, you opened your eyes at him and lost yourself in the cerulean pools, brimming with something much more affectionate than lust. And suddenly, it felt almost natural to say it. “Ti amo, Theo.”
Groaning, Theo had to seriously refrain himself from throwing all caution to the wind and fucking you stupid right then and there on the desk. But he needed your first time to be special, not in an abandoned old classroom. Ti amo, Theo. You loved him. Damn right, you did. His heart thrummed dangerously fast against his lips, almost as painful as the strain in his pants. Ignoring the ache in his cock, he pressed a long kiss onto your burning cheek. Merlin, you were just adorable. “Anch’io ti amo, carina,” he muttered and relished in the smile that lit up your face.
It took a lot of ciorridors until you managed to overcome the uncontrolled trembling in your legs, and even more until you were able to walk without clutching his arm for support. Still, Theo kept his arm around your waist as he led you down the stairs to the dungeons, never wanting to move it again. Your hand fisted his shirt against his back and from time to time, he leaned over to press a kiss onto your cheek, making you giggle. It echoed off the walls, but neither of you could have cared less. Theo felt like he would hex anyone who disturbed you two now into next week. But nobody did cross your path on the way down, all the partygoers seeming to have left for their dorms or homes already.
At the door to the boy’s toilets only a few corridors away from the common room entrance, Theo slowed his steps and you came to a halt before him. With great reluctance, he let go of your waist and got a hold of your hand to press another kiss onto it- like the chivalrous bastard he was. Your cheeks heated at the simple gesture and a silly smile made your eyes shine.
“Fix that hair and dress before you enter the common room,” he muttered softly into the silence, one hand on the door handle to the boy’s toilets, the ache in his pants reminding him of his unfinished business. “Or your brother might get to the Gryffindor bloke before I do.”
Nodding, you let go of his hand, but didn’t turn away. something unspoken, something unanswered still hovered between you, and you needed to dress it before you could enter the privacy of your dorm. “So…,” you said, hesitantly, “Are we, like…?” You left the question unanswered and he raised a brow, mocking you. Theo offered you no assistance as you stuttered yourself through the sentence. “Well, are you my boyfriend now?”
“Well, what did you think?”
Now it was your turn to raise your brows at him, though a smile still danced around your slightly swollen lips. “Don’t pretend like you aren’t the castle’s biggest manwhore, Theo.”
Feigning offence, he leaned against the wall and looked you up and down.”A manwhore? Amore, I just risked my life for you. That has to mean something.” Though his tone was mocking, his eyes held a disarming severity that you recognized with a small nod. His lips twitched. “You really think I’d let myself fall for you just to play around?” He lowered his head, tilting it slightly. “You want proof? Fine. Ask me if I’ve thought about anyone else tonight.”
“I believe you,” you laughed, averting your eyes and shaking your head at him, an affectionate warmth filling your chest. Feeling brave, you leaned up to press a longer peck to his cheek and winked at him as you lowered yourself from your tip-toes.
“Well, have fun,” you smiled, teasingly, before turning on your heel to leave for the common room, glee and excitement coiling in your stomach into such a tight knot you would have felt the desire to jump up and down- if only your legs hadn’t still felt so weak.
He watched you turn a corner before you disappeared, something dangerous and dark twisting behind his ribcage when he saw you wobble slightly on your feet. Whatever it cost him, he would tell Mattheo. Because there was no way in fucking hell there would be a single sould left in this castle in doubt about who you belonged to.
a/n: if you've actually come this far, you have my respect: you just made it through 20k words of this. and for that, you deserve a reward 🏅
tags: gryffindor! reader, muggleborn! reader, enemies to lovers (but like... there's not a lot of enemy-ing ngl), wc in total: 52.3k
chapter one: after clashing with mattheo riddle in defense against the dark arts, you reflect on your history.
chapter two: a detention forces you to spend more time with the dark lord's son, getting to see another side of him.
chapter three: a late night encounter in the kitchens changes your relationship with mattheo riddle irreversibly.
chapter four: a heated quidditch game provides mattheo with an excuse to get to spend more time with you.
chapter five: when your friends catch wind of your late night encounters with their mortal enemy and the ensuing confrontation leaves you in between the fronts.
chapter six: fixing mattheo up after a brawl on your behalf quickly turns into him fucking you stupid in his sheets [nsfw]
chapter one: being the chosen one's sister, you keep your relationship with theodore nott a secret, despite all the hardships that came with sneaking around.
chapter two: when sneaking out of your dorm, theo is almost cornered by ron. your friends start to get suspicious of you, as you get paired up with theo for potions and have to keep the act up.
chapter three: a gryffindor slytherin brawl leads to an argument between you and theo, who is tired of keeping you a secret.
chapter four: when you get reckless without secret after a heated quidditch game, harry finds out about your relationship with theo.
chapter five: the fight with your brother leaves you picking up the pieces, sharing an intimate moment with theo and mending your relationship with your brother.
chapter six: you are afraid telling theo you are a virgin might turn him away, but you couldn't have anticipated his reaction. [nsfw]
↬ you were supposed to steer clear of mattheo riddle. Shame that he was just so irrestible.
↬ eventual nsfw content (at ca. 8k words); wc: 14.8k (because why not); cw: mentions of violence, swearing, blood, smut (mdni) ; tags: gryffindor!reader, muggleborn!reader, enemies to lovers ; nsfw tags: oral fem receiving, praise, teasing, overstimulation, p in v, aftercare
( masterlist )
Your heart beat rapidly in your chest as you hurried past students and ghosts alike. In your vision, they were reduced to flashes of blue, yellow, green and red, or an ethereal shimmering, background noise, the first layer on a canvas.
Once you reached the top step, you were gasping for breath, but the lack of oxygen didn't stop you from running along the wall to avoid the crowd that would only slow you down, simultaneously mapping out Hogwarts inside your head to take the quickest route to Dumbledore's office. Half aware that many heads were turning after you, some whispering behind their hands, you crossed a corner into an emptier corridor and only hastened your tempo.
Fictitious yet haunting images flashed before your waking eye as your imagination ran wild with what could possibly have happened to Mattheo. He'd get in fights constantly, but, to your knowledge, had never been summoned to the headmaster. Though, Dumbledore hadn't asked for him but you. Fear tore at your chest, adding to the ache of running. Was Mattheo so badly hurt that he felt the need to console his friends- and significant other?
In the last corridor, you barely stumbled towards the stairs that led up to the headmaster's office and gasped the password at the gargoyle who nodded approvingly and let you in. Barely managing to climb the last few steps, you slumped against the door to Dumbledore's office and knocked your fist against it. “Step in!” the headmaster’s old voice called from the other end and you pressed down the handle to swing the door open.
You'd been in this office once already, the night almost six years ago, after you and your friends had found the chamber of secrets and Harry had slayed the basilisk inside. There'd been a feast after, but you weren't sure if Mattheo had attended it. You'd have to ask him. Over the last days, you'd continued your habit from the tutoring lessons, of teasing each other about the way you'd previously perceived the other- though it was a lot more fun on his part when you got to hear his side of the story, living through all the events you did but experiencing them so differently. Sometimes it was funny and you found yourself giggling about things like preschool children. Other times, it was melancholic, a plea for better times or an unwelcome reminder of the difficulty of your relationship.
The portraits on the walls were pretending to be sleeping, but you couldn't be fooled anymore since your fateful run-in with chattery Dorothy Dankworth. Filigree golden instruments stood along the walls, fulfilling their mysterious purposes, and a great golden phoenix, Fawkes, sat on his place on Dumbledore's desk. The headmaster himself sat behind the desk and looked up from his parchment when you stepped in, still panting audibly for breath. His thin lips pulled into a smile as he lowered his half moon spectacles and his piercing blue eyes met yours.
You knew he could do legilimency, just as Mattheo could. Only, Mattheo had promised you never to use it against you without your knowledge, and the man sitting across from you had never made such promises.
But Dumbledore averted his stare fairly quickly and rose from his seat behind the desk, walking around it and beckoning you closer. With hesitant steps, feet still hurting from your little sprint through a huge damn castle, you walked towards him and he offered you a chair he conjured out of thin air. Without a word - you were still too out of breath - you sat down on it and he reoccupied his seat as well, clasping his hands together over the table.
“Miss Lovegood may have told you why I wished to speak to you,” he said calmly, his expression painfully serious. Oh, what you would have given for a calming smile or a winking eye right now, the safety and comfort the headmaster always displayed at the start-of-the-term feasts.
“Is he hurt?” you asked, for once without regard to proper etiquette. Your hands were clenched into fists beneath your robes, nails digging into the flesh of your palm as you fearfully awaited Dumbledore's answer.
For a few seconds, Dumbledore surveyed you thoughtfully, slightly crooking his head, before giving you the smallest of smiles. “It is true, Mr. Riddle got involved into a fight today, but he is not seriously injured. Though he would do well with medical treatment, which I hear he refused.” You breathed a sigh of relief, as confusion rose within you. Why then had you been called to the headmasters office? Why weren't you already with your boyfriend, patching him up?
“Gossip spreads incredibly fast in Hogwarts,” said Dumbledore quietly, “as you have experienced yourself. So I must ask: are you aware what the cause of Mr. Riddle's disagreement with two very unfortunate Gryffindor boys in your year was?”
“No,” you replied truthfully, going through the Gryffindor boys in your year one by one. Ron and Harry were the most likely candidates, but to your knowledge, they had spent the whole day up in Gryffindor tower and had still been there when Hermoine and you went on your way down. You could rule Neville out definitively, which left-
“Though Mr. Riddle remains with no major injuries, the same cannot be said for Mr. Finnigan and Mr. Thomas,” said Dumbledore seriously. “If eyewitnesses are to be believed, Mr. Riddle attacked Mr. Finnigan upon overhearing him suggesting to Mr. Thomas how you would come to your senses eventually, that once Mr. Riddle would get bored of you, you would come, ah, ‘crawling back’ to them.” Dumbledore seemed almost embarrassed to say this out loud.
Biting down on your lip, you lowered your gaze. It was true, Seamus had been very reserved towards you ever since you'd kissed Mattheo the day after his fight with Ron. It really shouldn't come as a surprise that he had said these things, though you'd had more respect of him before. And Mattheo… you couldn't find it in yourself to be angry at him, not when a stupid fuzzy feeling in your chest betrayed how flattered you felt that he had tried to defend your honor, even though you ultimately would have preferred it hadn't happened and no one were injured right now.
“Miss y/n?” Dumbledore asked and you looked back up at him. “Your relationship with Mr Riddle seems to be a popular topic of discussion all around the castle these days. Just yesterday, I overheard the fat monk and Sir Nicolas talking about it. So I regret weighing in on a topic you are probably long tired of.” So that was it. Dumbledore wanted to know about your relationship to Mattheo. And he was right, you weren't really in the mood of discussing it with your headmaster.
You realized he was looking at you, awaiting some sort of reaction, and you nodded. “It's fine.” It was not fine, but really, you just wanted to get this over with quickly so you could see if Mattheo was really alright as Dumbledore had said.
“To my understanding,” said Dumbledore, “and you may correct me if I'm wrong, you’re Mr. Riddle’s first girlfriend- not counting his many -uh- exploits, as well as his only relation outside of his friend group.” Reluctantly, you nodded. This felt wrong. What was he getting at?
“You must have met a great deal of resistance from your peers, especially your own house,” he continued. “Tell me, my dear: what do you see in Mr. Riddle others do not?”
Though you were taken aback by the question, you didn't need to think about it long. “What people think of him is entirely founded on the assumption that he must be like his father," you said seriously, "But you yourself will surely agree with me that it's not blood that is important, or what family you belong to, but how you choose to live your life and what decisions you make for yourself.”
“But,” Dumbledore said gently, “Mr. Riddle has been notorious for violence for quite some time, as you yourself must know.”
“If you tell someone over and over again that they are going to be a monster, that that is the path cut out for them,” you said, your voice rising a little as you got more heated, “You are not allowed to be shocked or surprised when they follow the path you pointed for them all their life!” To make your point, you sat up a little straighter and placed your hands on Dumbledore's desk. “Mattheo is a person, he's always been, what did you expect would happen if there is no hand extended to him?”
“So, you extend that hand to him?” asked Dumbledore calmly and watched you very carefully over the rim of his half moon spectacles.
“No,” you said curtly, “that was your job. For god’s sake, Mattheo isn't my charity case!” Realizing how loud you'd become unintentionally, you took a deep intake of breath to calm yourself. Respect for your teachers had always been important to you, Mattheo was the one with the anti-authority leanings. “Headmaster, I don't know what you expect me to say. But I'm not with Mattheo to- to save him or something, I'm with him because I love him.”
“Love, Miss y/n,” said Dumbledore pensively, “is often the greatest weapon against darkness. But it is not always enough to save someone who does not wish to be saved.”
“What are you saying?” you pressed, not breaking eye contact as your fingers clenched around each other on the table, curled into a tight net.
Dumbledore breathed a long sigh, and for a moment, he looked older than you'd ever seen him. “Mattheo Riddle is a young man burdened with a name that carries a great deal of darkness. I fear that darkness is eager to claim him.” He leaned forward ever so slightly. “I quite agree with you that it is not our blood that defines us. But do you believe Mattheo understands that?”
You couldn't answer this. In whispers, Mattheo had confided in you about his parentage, what some called his legacy to follow his father’s footsteps. As an incredibly powerful wizard, he'd always been expected to use these powers for the worst. It had been drilled into his head, that nothing about him could be good, that he would always be the destruction of goodness, the epitome of heinousness. He had confessed to you how he never knew how to hold you, as if you were an angel from another dimension. Too good for him, too pure to be touched by him, incorruptible and therefore never to be his, truly.
Dumbledore seemed to sense your inner conflict and addressed you, making you look up at him. “There is a storm inside that boy, one that I believe he doesn't know how to quiet. And yet, with you, he may be able to. But I advise you to let caution rule. You may be his light in the shadows, but even the brightest light cannot force someone to walk out of the dark.”
“Is that all?” you asked, burning to escape the headmasters office that seemed to get more cramped with each second. Dumbledore examined you closely, but then he nodded and you rose from your seat in an instant. Your hand already on the door handle, he called your name one last time and you turned around.
“Miss y/n?” asked Dumbledore, and the lightest of smiles played around his lips, though it seemed tainted with worry and sadness. “I do sleep better at night, knowing Mr. Riddle has you in his life.”
Leaving the office, you took off to Gryffindor tower at once, sprinting through halls and up the stairs until your lungs seemed to be bleeding and screaming in protest. Stumbling through the portrait hole, you caught sight of a group of Gryffindors in your year huddled together, throwing you both judgemental and apprehensive looks as you passed them, but neither of your closest friends were among them, so you paid them no mind.
Thankfully, the girl's dormitory was empty when you broke through the door, panting and gasping for air. Walking over to your bed, you pulled your medical bag out of your cupboard, flung the handle over your shoulder and took off down the stairs again. But when you went to make your way across the common room, you suddenly crossed paths with Ron. Assuming he'd ignore you, you tried to rush past him but his voice made you stop dead in your tracks.
“Can we talk?”
You turned around, finding him looking a little embarrassed and self-conscious, though he was still frowning. Even though the fight had been about a week ago, some of the bruises were still visible on his face, in spite of Madam Pomphrey’s medical miracles. “What is it?” you said, trying not to sound too impatient.
Ron blew out a long breath through his mouth, rocked lightly on the balls of his feet and looked anywhere but you. When you were just about to ask again, he glanced back at you and his frown deepened. “I was… a bit of an asshole last week.”
These barely muttered words stunned you enough to momentarily forget about Mattheo and concentrate your attention on the boy standing before you, who was rubbing his neck uncomfortably. “Yeah… kinda…” you said, suddenly realizing that you weren't even mad at him anymore. His words had been cruel, but you hadn't been innocent either, and he was one of your best friends. You knew he hadn't meant to hurt you, and he had gotten his comeuppance already.
“Look, I-” he seemed to be looking for the right words, “I didn't mean what I said about you being stupid and naive and throwing yourself at Riddle. I'm really sorry.”
“It's fine,” you said, after a short pause. “I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have lied to you all like that, you guys are my best friends. I was just afraid that you might react, well, disproportionately.”
“You're going to keep seeing him then?” Ron asked, barely managing to keep the bitterness out of his tone. At least he wasn't shouting anymore, and you felt confident enough to quirk a little smile. “Well, yes. Actually, I was just on the way.”
Ron clenched his jaw. “I don’t trust him. I probably never will. But if he ever hurts you, I swear I’l-” He stopped himself and sighed, giving you a hesitant smile. “Just be careful, okay? Look, you're like a sister to me, that's why I was such a bloody idiot about this. I just don't want to see you get hurt.”
“You won't,” you promised, and, after a second of hesitation, you closed the distance between the two of you and wrapped your arms around him. It was kind of hard because Ron towered over you with his considerable height, but nevertheless, he returned the embrace. When you shifted, he winced slightly and you broke apart. “Still hurts?” you asked empathetically.
Ron shrugged. “I guess I deserve that. Have fun with your boyfriend.” Though he rolled his eyes, he seemed in a much better mood than before.
Ten minutes later, you hurried down the steps to the dungeons and flew past the torches on the walls, blazing through your vision, in search of the Slytherin common room. When visiting the dungeons, you'd only ever been to the kitchens. There had never been an occasion when you'd felt the desire to enter the snakes den. Up until now.
Rounding another corner, you were suddenly faced with a dead end. Dark brick obstructed your way, cold and unsympathetic to your plight. You groaned in growing desperation, already turning on your heel to keep looking for the entrance, when suddenly, you gasped. Someone emerged from the wall, walking through stone, it seemed, as if it were nothing but fog. When they broke apart from the wall, you realized it was Theodore Nott. Equally surprised to find you, his eyes widened, then dropped to your medical bag.
“Did somebody already get you?” He asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion. To be on the receiving end of Nott’s staring was slightly terrifying and your fingers closed around the handle of your bag.
“Nobody got me,” you answered, growing more self-conscious by the second. Nott seemed so hostile- did Mattheo not want to see you? “I just… heard what happened and I wanted to come and… well…” Gesturing vaguely to your medical bag, your voice drowned off uncertainly.
But Nott only said “good” and motioned you towards him. When you came to a halt next to him, faced with the dark wall, he cleared his throat and said “vaframentum” at the wall. It seemed to be the password, as he held you by the arm and walked back through the seemingly hard brick, pulling you through with him.
It was the most peculiar feeling to walk through a wall, it seemed to mold around you like a tight suit, unable to breathe, until you came out on the other side the split of a second later. You shuddered, looked back at the brick and shook your head. “No offense, but I prefer our entrance, I think. Do people ever get stuck in there?”
“I think there was a kid, few decades back,” said Nott easily. You noticed his eyes were quite cautious as they surveyed you, but he didn't seem as hostile anymore. “He's up there.” Nott indicated something above you and only now did you properly appreciate the sight before you.
The Slytherin common room was somehow just like you had expected. The whole room was tinted in a greenish hue due to it being beneath the black lake and the portraits of many stern looking witches and wizards adorned the dark walls. Though a fire cackled in the large sophisticated fireplace, the room was a good few degrees cooler than the Gryffindor common room. The couches were of black leather and very elegant and desks stood along the walls, groaning under quills and parchment.
You looked up into the direction Nott had indicated and saw a flight of stairs leading upwards, where the dormitories had to be. With a short nod, you followed him, struggling to keep up with his long strides as you climbed the stairs. Walking up the staircase in silence, you passed many doors though none seemed to be the right one. Finally, Nott came to a halt before a large wooden door, undoubtedly the Slytherin boy's dormitory.
For the split of a second, Nott seemed to hesitate, but then, he brushed past you and opened the door. Because his large frame obscured much of what lay beyond the doorway, you could only see several pairs of feet and a curl of smoke rising over their heads, and hear Mattheo's voice, rough and agitated as he snapped at his friend. “Not you again, piss off, Nott! I need everyone to get out of my damn face.”
“It's not a pleasure looking at your face right now, I can assure you, mate,” Nott replied, coolly, leaning against the doorframe. “You look like Frankenstein's monster.”
A humorless chuckle sounded through the room and you heard someone shift. His voice, his laugh was enough for you to know that whatever had happened during that brawl had not been enough to fulfill Mattheo's need to make someone bleed for it, and for a split second, you were almost worried about Nott, even though you knew Mattheo loved him like a brother. “Oh great, another lecture,” Mattheo drawled sarcastically, looking to provoke, “you know, for someone who is not my mother, you sure nag like one.”
You couldn't help it, you couldn't stifle the little chuckle that left your throat at their banter. Silence fell upon the room. Next second, Nott was suddenly pushed away with a rough thrust and Mattheo stood before you in the doorway. He leaned against the doorframe, one arm braced against the wood, his posture careless yet undeniably tense. His knuckles were split, seeping with blood, but he didn't seem to care. Neither did he seem pained by the deep cut that split his lower lip, swollen and dark, and the faint bruise that was already blooming on his cheek.
His hair was even messier than usual, like he'd run his hand through it too many times in frustration, and he removed the cigarette from his lips to flick it down and stamp on it to suffocate the glowing embers. As he scanned your soft figure and noticed your chest heaving slightly, every breath somewhat audible as a slight hitch, his dark eyes flickered, something unreadable flashing behind them. A smirk ghosted his lips, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
“Didn't think I'd be seeing you here, princess,” he drawled, his voice low and rough, yet his eyes had somewhat softened at the sight of you. “If I knew getting my face bashed in would get you sneaking into my dorm, I might have done it sooner.”
Though worry tugged at your heartstrings at the sight of his injuries, you rolled your eyes slightly as a little smile played around your lips. Mattheo's eyes seemed to cling to them like a drowning man to his lifeline and he lowered his head slightly, grinning irresistibly down at you. Before he could try anything though, you gave him a glare and a flick against the forehead. “None of that until I have fixed that lip.”
Your rejection couldn't wash the sly smile off his lips. “I'm sure this is one of those things you can kiss better.” Behind him, you thought you heard someone gag, and Mattheo turned around sharply, glaring at Malfoy who seemed to be the culprit. “Why don't you shut your ferret ass mouth in front of my girl, Malfoy, before I make your face even prettier than Finnigan’s?” In an instant, Malfoy fell silent, merely glowering at the ground. Beside him, Lorenzo Berkshire gave you a little wave and smile that you returned.
Mattheo's eyes flickered briefly between the two of you, but without another comment, he seized you around the waist and pulled you against him and into the room. It was very orderly, probably not because of Mattheo. Zabini, Malfoy and Lorenzo seemed to stand around the four poster you assumed to be Mattheo's, looking at you with varying expressions of interest, disapproval and encouragement.
“Oi, idiots,” said Mattheo gruffly as he sat down on his mattress and pulled you along with him until you almost sat in his lap. “Kindly get your stupid faces out of my girlfriend's sight.” He seemed to take great satisfaction in calling you his girlfriend and his fingers curled into the flesh of your waist as he watched the others with sharp eyes.
“Mattheo,” you said softly, attempting to calm the storm that still seemed to be raging inside him. His head snapped around at you and his expression changed in an instant, softening visibly. His lips ran a line up your temple as he pulled you even closer. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Malfoy storm out of the room. Zabini followed, dragging a pissed looking Nott along with him, and Lorenzo left last, with a friendly smile your way.
Once the door fell shut behind them, you freed yourself from Mattheo’s hold. A disgruntled frown crossed his face, but he didn't try to stop you and only wrapped his hands around your knees, thumbs rubbing lazy circles onto your thights. A trickle of blood made its way down his chin and you brushed it away with a fleeting touch, careful not to hurt him. Many of his wounds were already scabby, but untreated. A defeated sigh lift your lips and you noticed Mattheo's eyes snapping down to them. “Why didn't you clean your wounds, Mattheo? You must be in a lot of pain.”
A casual grin tugged at his lips as he looked up at you, his dark curls falling into his eyes but he made no effort to brush them away, perhaps hoping you would. “You worried about me?” he asked in a teasing tone, his hands traveling up your thigh almost indiscernibly. “Careful, princess, you're gonna make me all soft for you.”
Shaking your head at his antics, but unable to suppress a smile, you placed your medical bag next to Mattheo on the bed and opened it to grab a small towel. With a murmured “aquamenti”, you moistened it and started to clean his cuts and bruises. You could feel his eyes on you, boring into your skull with a new intensity as he crooked his head. When you reached his lip and ran the cloth ever so carefully over his swollen cut, he didn't even wince but only leaned up as if chasing your lips for a kiss.
Quickly, you turned away, shaking your head in disbelief. “Really, Mattheo, you’re impossible. You're bleeding and bruising up and you still-” Breaking off with another sigh, you averted your eyes from his that had begun to glint at your abashed expression. You discarded the towel and instead took the murtlap essence, dipped your fingers into the cold liquid and began dabbing it onto the cut on his lip.
“Not gonna lie,” he said, lowering his voice slightly and it resonated in the limited space between his and your lips. “You fussing over me is kind of hot.” His eyes searched for yours, and when they met, his gaze locked you in place, unable to take your eyes off of him. “I wanted you to do it,” he said huskily, “I didn't clean ‘em because I wanted you to do it.”
The way your brows scrunched together almost had him on his knees for you. You looked so fucking irresistible in the dim light of his dorm, looking down at him with worry etched into your gaze and the soft touch of your hands. No one had ever cared for him like this. No one had ever cared enough to heal him, patch him up. Mattheo himself had mostly just let the injuries be until they vanished or turned into messy scars. Not that he'd ever cared. If anything, it only made people flinch back even more. And as much as he hated them for their silent judgement, there was a certain satisfaction in seeing the fear in their eyes when they looked at him.
Fear. Mattheo had found himself reveling in it ever since he'd first experienced it: the summer after his father had returned from his Albanian exile. Before, it’d only ever bothered him how people burst out of the way when he walked down hallways. But now, doing to them what was done to him seemed not only just in a twisted way, but satisfactory. Even seeing his friends flinch away from him from time to time was a warped sort of thrill he relished.
But not with you. Mattheo hated the thought that he might see the same fear he'd seen in others reflected in your eyes. Your horrified expression after the brawl with Weasley had been enough of an appetizer to make him detest the very thought. No, you saw something in him, something good, something worth worrying about. And for the first time in his life, Mattheo didn't want to prove anyone's assumptions right by being as much of a monster as they all expected, but to be whatever you liked about him, though he couldn't really imagine what that might be.
“Knew you'd come,” he said, finally, after a short silence during which you had been dabbing at a cut through his brow, eyes narrowed adorably in concentration. “You're too kind, princess.” He couldn't resist urging you closer, his hands still cupping your lower thighs. Though his head was craned upwards, he couldn't have cared less about neck strain. He'd not let himself be deprived of the sight of you fussing over him with such tender care. A smirk played around his lips and he could see your eyes flick down to them, an almost unnoticeable tint of pink on your cheeks. Fucking hell, how he loved to see you blush.
Almost instinctively, his hands tightened and your breath hitched a little. Mattheo couldn't help the light groan that left his lips. “You should be in bed, not sneaking into the serpent’s den for your reckless boyfriend.”
To his surprise, you breathed an amused chuckle and ruffled his hair. He could have moaned when your fingers grazed over his scalp, he was damn near purring, leaning into your touch and catching your thumb between his teeth. You gasped in faux indignation and delivered the lightest of slaps to his temple. But a soft smile spread across your utterly kissable lips. “Tragically, I would do it any day.”
Mattheo felt something pull tight in his chest at your words, a warmth he wasn’t prepared for, something dangerous in its softness. He covered it the only way he knew how: with a smirk, with teasing, with the same careless charm that usually kept people at arm’s length. But it didn't quite work with you. Not when you were this close, your hands so gentle against his bruised skin, your eyes holding none of the judgement he was used to. He forced a chuckle, tilting his head as if unaffected, as if you hadn’t just unraveled something inside him with a single sentence. “Tempting idea, if it gets you all over me.”
It was meant to be flirty, meant to be light, but even he could hear the edge of truth beneath it- because, Merlin help him, he was starting to think he liked being taken care of by you. And that? That terrified him more than any fight ever could. The little laugh that spluttered past your lips didn't improve his precarious situation. “There are easier ways to do that, you know,” you said, quirking an eyebrow. “Not involving sending people to the hospital wing, I mean.”
Your heart skipped a beat when Mattheo's expression darkened visibly, as if the storm you'd managed to calm for a few minutes was brewing up again, swirling in his dark eyes. His jaw clenched dangerously and again, his grip on your thighs tightened as if on instinct. “They deserved it. Like I'd ever let them talk about you like that and do nothing." You could tell he was still agitated by what Seamus had said, his knee rocking restlessly and the words practically spat out of his mouth.
Frowning, you dabbed at his cheek and drew soft circles on his blooming bruise. “Mattheo, people just need time. Before I came here, Ron apologized to me. It will be the same with the rest, they'll get used to it.”
But your attempt to soothe his simmering wrath, it only seemed to spur him on as his eyes hardened. “Did you forgive him?” he asked through clenched teeth, still looking up at you with unwavering attention.
You hesitated upon recognizing the barely suppressed fury in his tone and leaned down peck his healing lips. Though his lips chased after yours, you didn't want to risk reopening the cut and drew away decisively. “Well,” you said, ignoring the way one of his index fingers started to draw a line up your thigh and the goosebumps it left in its wake. “Yes,” you confessed, “for what he said about me, at least.”
A harsh “tch” made its way past his lips and the next words he nearly growled. “Of course you did.”
Feeling a pinch of defiance, you got a hold of Mattheo’s hand that had been wandering up to your skirt and placed it firmly back on your knee. “So, you think I was wrong to forgive him?” you asked with a frown.
For the first time this evening, Mattheo tore his eyes away from yours and fixed them instead on a spot somewhere on your belly where your shirt was tucked neatly into your school skirt. “‘m not gonna sit here and pretend I don't benefit from you being so damn forgiving. But I guess that's what you have me for now.” Though he shrugged, you saw that his shoulders were tense and caught his fingers wrapping around each other, squeezing the bleeding knuckles that only emitted more blood.
“You’ll be my guard dog for the bad guys then?” you joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. A heavy tension had set upon the room, weighing down on you like a thick blanket. His touch and his intense, dark eyes paired with his agitation and words of boiling rage. The inevitable mood swings, when he'd attempt to shield his true feelings behind a well crafted mask of sarcasm and flirtatious teasing. Mattheo Riddle was a rollercoaster of a man, and it was hard to keep up with him at times. But then again, you'd always known that.
Instead of switching to a more conversational and casual tone, Mattheo suddenly brushed your hand off. You could practically see it in his eyes, like closing shutters of a dimly lit house. Mattheo was closing himself off, and he moved his head so your arm fell helplessly to his side. His hands had detached themselves from your thighs as his fingers seemed to look for another smoke in his inside pocket. “You're wasting your time, love. Not like a few bruises are gonna kill me.”
With an almost exasperated sigh, you crouched down before him so that you were now the one looking up at him and closed your fingers around his red and slimy hands. Not a muscle twitched in his face, it seemed to have frozen over into a mask of indifference. “Mattheo, I want to,” you said, firmly and in great earnest, “I don't want to see you hurt. Please-” your voice dropped down to a low whisper, “please let me help you.”
Fuck. You'd used the magic word, whether it had been conscious or not. Mattheo could never resist you pleading so sweetly, looking up at him with those caring, loving eyes, holding a gaze so heavy with tenderness as he'd never experienced it before. Your hand reached out to him, and he flinched away for the split of a second, knowing your touch would be too much, would burn down all barriers and barricades he could flee behind to hide from your disarming kindness. When your hand cupped his face softly, he damn near shuddered under your hold, leaning into your touch and looking up at you with blazing eyes. “You're really gonna waste those pretty hands on fixing me up, huh?”
You let out a smile laugh, aghast at how he could be flirty even in the most grim of circumstances, with blood running down his face. Shaking your head, you got a hold of his hands and started to treat his bashed in knuckles. “I think these pretty hands are put to good use.”
Seeing his lips quirk up into a smirk, you knew what he was gonna say before he did, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “I think I know a way to put them to better use.”
“You are a menace onto the world, Mattheo,” you chuckled in disbelief and his smile only seemed to widen. Dropping his right hand, you reached for his left one and started dabbing a soothing creme onto his scabby knuckles, moving your index finger in small, careful circles over the wounds.
Mattheo leaned forwards slightly, seeking your gaze with his distracting enigmatic eyes. “Mmm, keep touching me like that and I might start purring.” You delivered a light push to his torso in a feeble attempt to free yourself from his distracting proximity, but your eyes widened in alarm when Mattheo failed to conceal the lightest of winces. Immediately, he attempted to distract you with another charming smile, but your nurse instincts knew greater obstacles.
“Take off your shirt,” you said firmly and gave him a short glare. To your surprise, he didn't quirk one flirty brow at you and no low teasing whistle made its way past his lips. Instead, he turned and held your steady gaze hostage as he slipped his hand from yours and worked on the buttons of his shirt. You felt almost burned by his chestnut eyes as his fingers escaped your sight and he shrugged off his white shirt in a singular motion.
When your eyes wandered down his torso, you felt your breath catch in your throat- but not in a good way. The bruises and fresh cuts were bad enough, but it was his scars that truly stunned you. They were spread all over his upper body, some faded and thin, others deep and jagged and alarmingly recent, craving stories you weren't sure you could handle knowing across his skin. Your fingers, trembling slightly, hovered over a particularly brutal mark near his ribs, but you couldn't bring yourself to touch it, afraid of hurting him, afraid of what it might mean.
Were those all a product of his fury fueled fighting? Many of the fresher scars didn't look like the consequence of a hallway brawl. They looked like remnants of cruel torture, the kind you'd only ever seen in your healing books about treating wounds inflicted by dark magic. How many times had he been hurt like this? And worse- how many times had no one been there to patch him up? The thought sent a dull ache through your chest, made your heart clench and sadness settle heavy in your stomach.
You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to meet his gaze, but he wasn't smirking anymore. His expression was guarded, wary- like he was waiting for you to flinch back, pull away, see disgust settle upon your features. But all you could think of was how much pain had he been carrying alone? Without your consent, you felt your eyes well up with tears and averted them, pretending to study the more recent bruises. But the deep, brutal cuts stood out to you as if there was a stagelight upon them, and you felt a stubborn tear slip past your defenses and roll down your cheek.
Before you could brush it away and pretend it had never been there, you felt rough pads of fingers under your chin, guiding you to look at the one they belonged to. Mattheo's brows were scrunched together in what seemed like worry. It was an unusual look on his face, it somehow didn't seem to match his features, as if someone had pulled and arranged them into an awkward interpretation of care. But you knew better. You knew he wasn't used to showing any kind of emotion, much less worry, care or empathy. All of which would be considered a weakness, and Mattheo couldn't allow himself to be weak.
Mattheo Riddle was an animal because his life had been guided by a single driving force: staying alive, making it to the next day. Roughening up with each new hardship was an adaption, a natural evolution. Hardening was a necessary precaution, because care for anyone else would mean less care for himself, and he needed all he could get. You knew what a precarious line he walked, and how eager the world was to see him fall. Because you had been them, and you had been watching. Only now did you realize how much.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding almost insecure. Though you tried to keep it together, this show of vulnerability only added to the pile weighing in on your poor heart that belonged to him way too much already. You tried to smile, but another tear made its way past your lashes and down your cheeks and your breath trembled audibly.
“I'm just-,” you said, unsure how to properly wrap the emotions welling up in you up in a sensible string of words, how to explain. “I'm just so sad,” you finally managed to confess weakly, plainly, the words so flat you could have slapped yourself. “For you,” you clarified, when his brows twitched with irritation, the urge to rid you of anything that might be dissatisfactory to his princess. “For all the pain in your life. I wish you hadn't needed to go through it.” Your voice was a mere breath, a dying whisper on your tongue. Finally, your shaking fingers lay upon the largest scare with such care that he would barely be able to feel it. “I wish I'd been there with you.”
“No, you don't,” he said firmly. Something flashed in his eyes, almost like panic, like a deer in the headlights as he imagined you with him, within his fathers reach. But they hardened the split of a second after. “Hear me, princess? You don't.” You couldn't help yourself, you leaned into his touch and his hand seized your neck, his thumb brushing over your cheek.
For a long while that felt like an eternity and a second at once, he didn't speak, only looked at you. Your care had taken him off guard. You'd shed tears for him. Nobody had ever cared about him like you did, with an unconditional love like yours, with a kindness like yours. Nobody had ever shed tears for him. He should have felt bad that you were crying for him, especially when he himself would say some of these wounds were deserved. If not for his direct action, then for the crime of his existence. But he couldn't deny the feeling of stupid stupid relief at seeing you care so deeply.
Having calmed your tears, you wiped the last remnants from your cheeks and gave him an apologetic look. But before you could even open your lips to mutter an apology, his free hand seized one of your wrists and the intensity with which his eyes met yours made any attempt at speaking die on your tongue. Slowly, as if giving you the chance to pull away any second, he guided your hand towards him until it touched the skin of his shoulder, one of the more faded scars. It felt hot against your hand, even though you'd made sure to warm your hands up before treating him.
Still keeping your gaze hostage, Mattheo slowly moved your hand, moved it over his collar bone and down his chest, running over smaller and bigger scars, clean and brutal ones. He didn't blink once, only looking into your helpless eyes as he made you touch every single scar on his body. When he let go of your wrist, it fell limbly against your side and the ghost of a smile appeared on his lips as he crooked his head at you. “See? Now they’re beautiful.”
A shaky breath left your lips and hung in the air between you, like a question. He answered as he tilted his head slightly and reached out to you in a way that didn't need hands. When you lowered your lips onto his, they were still impossibly soft from the soothing effect of the serum. His moved gently against yours, missing the usual heat and settling for a tender caress. His hands settled on your thighs once more as he caught every shaky breath with his lips. You knew he was no man of words, a stranger to comfort, but he had the right instincts.
After a good minute, you parted and you directed your eyes at his body once more. You were still here to treat him, after all. So, you sat down on the bed beside him, made him turn and face you and started applying diptam to his bruises. Checking that no ribs were fractured, you ran your hands over his sides and could practically feel him swallowing down a provocative comment.
When you were finished, you pulled away from him and stored your flasks in your bag. As you looked back at him, you felt your heart skip a beat. The neutral healer’s eye had been replaced, you could no longer see Mattheo's body as just another body to be treated. He was undeniably, unfairly beautiful. The sharp cut of his collarbones, the taut muscles beneath scarred skin, the way his stomach tapered down in a way that made your stomach twist. Even battered and bruised, sitting on his bed beneath your healing hands, he carried himself with, it seemed, effortless strength. Every line of his body was shaped by a lifetime of fights, of survival.
Your fingers twitched at your sides, warmth creeping up your neck as your eyes traced the ridges of his abdomen, the way his chest rose and fell with steady breaths, his dark gaze flickering over you like he knew exactly what you were thinking. And maybe he did- because when you finally dragged your eyes back to his, that damn smirk was back, lazy and knowing, and Merlin help you, it only made him more infuriatingly attractive. You felt heat rise in your cheeks and averted your eyes, afraid they might linger and betray your hunger for him. But of course, nothing could escape Mattheo.
When you attempted to bring some distance between you and his irresistible smile and body, he rose from the bed and strolled towards you with slow, deliberate steps. Backing away, you felt like a mouse fleeing a hungry cat, until your back met wood and your breath got stuck in your throat- audibly. Mattheo's eyes widened with pleasure at the sound and his infuriating smirk only deepened as his attentive eyes caught the way your gaze fixed on anything but him. Fucking adorable.
You even leaned back your head against the wood as his arms came up to cage you in, making you look up at him with rosy cheeks and an abashed smile. “Uh,” you said, squirming under his intense gaze, and voice shaking for a whole other reason than distress. “Don't you want to put your shirt back on?”
Mattheo chuckled at your words, he seemed to find your sudden embarrassment very amusing. “Blushing, are we?” he asked, ignoring your suggestion and inching closer until there were only breaths between your still clothed chest and his bare one. You found yourself aching for him, aching for him to close the distance, because you could never, and you would never ask it. But Mattheo only made a “tsk” sound and shook his head in playful scolding, “and here I thought you were being professional.”
Any response died on your tongue when he leaned down and all you could see was him, all you could smell was him, all you could hear was him. Your senses were overwhelmed with him, him, him, as you did your very best not to sneak a look at his bare upper body. For some reason, Mattheod seemed to be able to sense your distress, though he made no attempt to ease it. Quite the contrary. Another chuckle left his lips, growing ever more dangerous. “Relax, princess, you can look. I don't bite, not unless you want me to.”
“I-” you managed to say before the look in his dark eyes sealed your lips just as effectively as a charm might have. He leaned in even further until his breath fanned your lips and you closed your eyes in unfulfilled expectation. “Fucking hell,” he murmured into the little space between you, “you're adorable when you try to pretend you're not flustered. Tell me princess-” Without a warning, he grabbed your wrist and brought your hand to his chest once more, this time running it over his abs. His devious eyes seemed to notice every reaction, every nervous flicker of your eyes. “Do you want to touch me?”
Not trusting your voice, you nodded and he cooed, running your hand up to his chest and down again. Again, that suffocating smirk. “I know you want to look at me,” he said, “wouldn't even need legilimency for that. Go on. I'm yours now, remember? You’re allowed to look, princess.” For a moment, you managed to keep up the act, but then, your eyes flickered down to his body and you felt yourself shiver with desire. God, he was beautiful.
Suddenly, his hands released your wrist and found their way to your waist, pulling you with him as he walked slowly over to his four-poster. You felt almost dizzy from looking into his eyes, as if they were black holes pulling you towards him with irresistible force. Your heart nearly leaped from your chest when a light push made you flop down onto his mattress and he followed suit, swallowing all forms of protest as his lips clashed into yours with fiery heat.
The kiss was demanding, it had the edge the previous one had missed. Mattheo kissed you as if he wanted to devour you whole, as if he wanted to claim your lips as his forever. His rough hands dug into the flesh of your waist and guided you slowly to lie on your back, exerting full control over you. Yet you'd rarely felt more content, experienced such a thrill as when one of his hands cupped your cheek and angled your jaw just right for his lips to wander down your neck and leave red marks in their wake. There was little Mattheo loved more than marking you up, molding your soft skin into a shape of his liking, sully it with marks of his claim on you.
When he reached the spot just below your ear, your breath hitched in your throat and Mattheo damn near groaned into your neck. Your smell overwhelmed him, the feeling of your soft skin on his, listing to your labored breathing and you. You laying in his bed, in his sheets. When he was satisfied with the mark he was working on, he forced himself to part from your neck, from your skin, to hover above you. Your lips were kiss-bitten and slightly swollen, fresh hickeys adorned your neck and writhed so sweetly in his bed. His. This was where you belonged, with him, and he with you.
Your breathing was uneven as you looked up at Mattheo, his dark eyes glinting dangerously as they raked down your clothed figure. A crease appeared between his brows as he lowered himself once more, but refusing to close the distance between the two of you. His fingers played with the hem of your shirt that had come untucked at some point and his voice was nearly a growl. “Think we should be equal, don't you, princess?” His voice was heaving just slightly, enough to make him maddeningly irresistible. “Why don't you take this off?”
Though thoroughly flustered by your current predicament, by the way his bare chest moved against yours and the pads of his fingers brushed experimentally over the exposed skin of your waist, you managed to give him a small smile. “Why don't you?”
Something changed behind the guarded curtains of his eyes, something shifted, like a beast awoken from slumber. Mattheo chuckled dryly against your lips when suddenly, a resounding rip reached your ears. You flinched when he literally tore your shirt off of you, buttons flying in every direction. Your gasp was muffled by his lips as they crashed into yours once more, chaotic and wild, as he worked on discarding what was left of your shirt. In dire need for air, you pulled away and pushed at his chest lightly. “Jesus, Mattheo, my shirt!”
“Be that damn cheeky again and I'll do the same to your skirt,” he said lowly before propping himself up just enough to get a proper view of your exposed upper body. His eyes were captured with fascination, unable to tear themselves away from the soft skin, the curve of your breasts and your damn white lace bra. Fuck, if you hadn't looked enough like an angel already. Unsuspectedly, he could feel his heart hammering against his ribcage, his fingers almost trembling as he ran them up the side of your belly, over the soft flesh, until they reached your bra. Shivering deliciously beneath his simple touch, you looked up at him with your doe eyes and he felt the conflicting desires to absolutely ruin you and impale himself on a stick for touching something so damn holy with his sullied hands.
Sitting up slightly, you seemed to misinterpret his lingering stare and crossed your arms over your chest. Immediately, his shot forward to seize your wrists and pin them above your head, unable to hide the hunger brimming behind his cold facade. “Fucking beautiful you are,” he said gruffly and reveled in the way your cheeks heated up, the soft tint of pink. His eyes were drawn to the hickies on your neck and Merlin did they look good on you.
Your chest was heaving under his intense gaze as he dipped his head down to kiss, nibble and mark all along your collarbone. “Take that off.” You complied immediately, reaching behind your back to unhook your bra and discarding it somewhere to the side. “Won't someone- ah!” You let out the a high-pitched squeak when he bit down on the flesh just above your breasts and could hear him breathing in deeply. Determined, you tried again as his lips made their way down the valley of your breasts. “Won't someone come in?”
“No one who wants to keep their head,” he growled and you whimpered when he turned his attention to one of your tits. He let go of your wrists in favor of cupping the other and rubbing circles around your sensitive bud, making you stifle a soft mewl. “So, what about that skirt?” He pressed and your now free hands quickly made their way down, tugging at the waistband of your skirt. Impatient, one of his hands slapped yours away and pulled the skirt down your legs, along with your thights, leaving you with nothing more than your panties against the heated air of his dorm.
Mattheo buried his fingers in the soft flesh of your thighs and you could feel him against your thigh, feel his arousal. It was somewhat calming to know that he was just as effected as you, though he wasnt yet mewling helplessly. You felt his hot breath on your skin as his lips travelled down, down your belly, leaving a trail of unexpectedly soft kisses and whispering into your soft flesh as if in holy confession. “Merlin, you’re so fucking beautiful, can't believe it, cant wait to hear you scream my name-”
If you’d been blushing before, you definitely were now. Something hot seemed to pulsate in your cheeks as your heart fluttered with every word he spoke into your skin, spoken in the tone of a starving man praying for salvation.
Mattheo was in love with the little sounds you made as his lips made their way down your body, his fingers brushing over spots he knew would have your skin break out into goosebumps. Merlin, how he relished how responsive you were, how your soft, pliant body seemed to mold into his every touch and how your helpless little gasps and suppressed mewls sounded like music in his ears. He’d have you screaming for him in no time, have you screaming his name, and his heart raced in eager expectation.
But he had to take it slow with you. For one, he knew he was far more experienced than you were- when it came to the physical sense. But he’d never done it like this. With actual love behind it. The act of sex had always been about selfish pleasure on the one hand and power on the other. The power of someone else’s reactions, the satisfaction of knowing they despised him as they fell apart under his touch, that he’d be their dirty fucking secret but so powerless in that moment. There was no love behind it, just sex and power.
But now, he had to overthink. You were so perfect, so soft and gentle, so he had to try and be gentle with you, too- because you deserved it more than anyone. Mattheo was well aware that you deserved someone better than him, someone less tainted, less selfish, and better at loving you. But the heavens should strike him down if he couldnt give you the best time out of anyone in this damn castle. But it had to be perfect. It had to be just right.
As he reached your pubic bone and his deft fingers closed around the waistband of your underwear, you squirmed slightly and felt goosebumps spread all over your skin, in spite of how damn hot it was. “No no no, don’t run away from me now, princess,” he muttered against the skin of your pubic bone, and when you glanced down at him, you saw him look up at you with the utmost devotion and a carnal need that had you gasp lightly. Both his hands were on your thighs as he rested his chin on one of them and looked at your through his long dark lashes. The tension seemed to mount between the two of you, you realized he was waiting for something as heat crept up your neck.
Then, without any warning aside from a small twitch of his lips, he leaned down and blew a gust of air against your clothed core. A high-pitched yelp left your lips and he chuckled darkly, slowly pulling at the waistband of your panties. And even still, he was fixing you in place with those criminally seductive eyes of his. “What do you want me to do, princess?” he asked with raised brows and you swallowed thickly, chest heaving as you propped yourself up on your elbows to look at him. Your wide, pretty eyes almost had him folding for you, but he wanted to hear you say it. Wanted nothing more than for you to disregard your bashfulness, whatever means necessary.
But you found yourself unable to answer, not with the way his eyes bore into yours and you hoped he would read your desire in your mind, so you wouldn't have to say the words that felt so utterly filthy,you could never say it. Let alone the thought had your cheeks burn with shyness and you shook your head shakily, looking at him with pleading eyes. His teasing smile grew when suddenly, you felt his hand cup your clothed cunt, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from you. “Want me to eat you out like you deserve, princess?” he asked, smiling evily at your abashed whine, “Salazar, I bet you taste sweeter than sugar.”
“Mattheo,” you breathed, whether to spurr him on or to warn him you didn't know, but he cooed. “I know, princess, I know.” His hand drew away, but was soon replaced by his index finger drawing lazy circles over the fabric of your underwear. With a disgustingly smug look on his face, his eyes raked over your slightly trembling form as you practically shook in anticipation.
You looked so fucking sweet, barely holding it together, blushing and stuttering and he hadnt even properly touched you yet. Though he had planned your first time with him to be all about you, he could feel himself harden painfully as he burned to seek relief against the mattress. But if Mattheo could do one thing, it was to disregard his needs.
“Tell me, princess,” he drawled as he kept rubbing painfully slow circles, barely teasing your clit. Though you would never mentioned it, you’d heard from the other girls in your dorm how good he was in bed, you knew he was teasing you deliberately. “Anyone ever eaten you out before?” Hesitating for a split second, you shook your head and saw his brows twitch. He hummed lowly. “What fucking losers.”
You stifled a moan when he slipped his hand under your lace panties and grazed the rough pads of his fingers over your most sensitive spot. “There weren't a lot of them,” you almost whispered and his eyes snapped up at you. “A-actually just one, really.”
An almost mocking smile adorned his lips. “Really now? And how was it?” Somehow, he already knew the answer, you could see it in his eyes, the quirk of his brow, the edge of his smile. Whether it was legilimency or he had somehow read it off the curves off your body, you didnt knew. You only knew he’d derive great pleasure from hearing you say it.
“‘t was pretty short,” you managed to croak out and gasped when Mattheo’s fingers finally released you from his tortuous teasing and twirled around your clit in a way that had you mewl loudly. Embarrassed, you slapped your hand over your mouth, but his eyes hardened and he fucking pinched your clit, making you squeak in a mix of pleasure and pain.
“None of that, princess,” he muttered in a commanding tone, “I wanna hear you, if you want me to make you cum. You do want that, don’t you?” Bashfulness, paired with his diligently working fingers, made you whine pathetically and he smirked. “That’s what I thought. Be a good girl and take those hands off your mouth, yeah?” With shaking fingers, you did and he tutted softly. “Atta girl. Now lie down.”
In a twisted way, it went to his head, how quickly you let yourself sink into the mattress, how eagerly you obeyed his command, how much you trusted him with yourself. You could still afford to be trusting, he realized, other than him. But he would fucking make sure you’d never lose that. He’d never let the world wash away your kindness, he’d kill anyone who tried.
With an impatient grunt, he pulled your panties off and threw them somewhere to the side. A shudder went through him when he came face to face with your perfect cunt. Merlin, you were so damn soaked. Mattheo felt pride swell within him, so unlike the selfish satisfaction he'd gained from others' pleasure. Oh, how long he’d imagined this these past few weeks, having you all pliant and soft under him, making you fall apart on his tongue. But fuck did your sweet smell call out to him, so that he couldn't waste an time.
When his tongue came into contact with your clit, you squeaked in a mix of surprise and a sudden surge of pleasure, but Mattheo barely gavce you any time top adjust to the feeling. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason in the way he was practically delving into your soaked cunt, as if he meant to suffocate himself in it. His tongue leaped at your core, then sucked on your clit in a way that had you seeing stars and you moaned powerlessly as you became putty in his hands. Mattheo ate you out like a man starved, and every single on of your moans was like music to his ears. His tongue swirled around your clit and a high-pitched mewl fell from your lips, so addictive that he had to do it again, and again, and again-
Mattheo threw your legs over his shoulders to find a new angle and your hands shot down to bury themselves in his soft curls. You tried not to tug too hard, but when he licked one long stripe up your cunt, moaning so fucking filthily, you couldn't help but hold onto him as if he was your lifeline. And Merlin, how he loved it. Loved the way your fingers dug into his curls, loved the way you pulled at them in response to his ministrations, how he could feel your fingers quiver when his came down to your cunt to ease open your entrance.
When he slipped a first finger inside, you practically whimpered and Mattheo could’ve sworn he lost his sanity right then and there. He added another finger to your sweet little cunt and scissored them, pushed them in and out of your glistening folds, angled them upwards and unerringly hit the spot that had you break for him so fucking deliciously. What he didnt expect was for you to breathe a mewl of his name that went straight to his aching cock. Oh, you little minx.
He chuckled against your sensitive bud and your breath hitched in your throat. “Say it again,” he murmured against your folds as his fingers and tongue worked tirelessly to bring you to your high. “Say it, my name, say it.” You didn't even need his instructions, the repeated high-pitched moans of his name rolled off your tongue as if it were the only word you had ever known and, glancing down, you saw him grind his hips into the mattress. Your hips bucked against his face when the pleasure mounted up to new heights and he accelerated the speed of his tongue and fingers.
Allowing himself one look at you, he wished he could engrave the sight into his skull: you, shaking and blushing under his ministrations, whimpering helplessly and writhing in his sheets. His sheets, his girl, all his. Even his mind was growing hazy, but he willed himself to stay focused for you as you got closer to your high. You were on cloud nine, feeling only pure bliss and goddamn had everyone been right about him: Mattheo Riddle knew what he was doing. His deliberate movements overwhelmed your senses with unknown pleasure and your thighs started shaking, as did your fingers.
“‘M close,” you barely managed to breathe out, lips quivering with the intensity of the orgasm you felt building up in your core.
You weren’t sure if he’d heard you, buried between your thighs, but his fingers only picked up speed, his tongue flicked against your clit and with a guttoral moan, you fell apart on his tongue. You could almost see the gates of heaven as pleasure unlike any you’d experienced before wiped any and every thought from your head but him, him, him. Mattheo worked you through your high as you kept mewling his name as if in prayer. How ridiculous, someone as heavenly as you praying to someone as depraved as himself- and how utterly twisted it was that he enjoyed it so fucking much.
Even as you began trashing in his hold, he couldn't stop, couldn't have it be over, couldn't depart from your sweetness. “Mattheo, ‘s too much,” you whimpered, but he was like a man possessed, kept going as if he couldnt stop himself. “I can’t!”
“Yes, you can,” he growled, lapping up your juices, and you couldn't help yourself. As you felt a scream build up in your throat, you ripped your hands from his hair, earning a grunt of displeasure, and threw them over your mouth to muffle the loud cry. He stopped.
For a second, relief flooded over you, but then his face entered your field of vision as he hovered above you. His curls were as messy as you'd never seen them before, due to your restless hands, and your juices covered the better half of his face, making his lips glisten. His pupils were blown wide and a frown adorned his beautiful face, a frown that made you breath hitch and goosebumps spread all over your skin.
“Sorry,” you gasped, so short on breath as if you’d just run a marathon. “Sorry, Mattheo, I couldnt-”
His frown softened when he heard your voice quiver, looked into your pleading eyes. You were so fucking sweet, he’d never even think of punishing you. No, he only wanted to spoil you rotten, see the bliss in your eyes and hear his name on your tongue as he pushed you over the edge.
“‘S fine,” he sighed, wrapping an arm around your waist and lowering himself down to meet your lips. You seemed taken aback to taste yourself on his lips, making him smile into the kiss, but then, you opened your soft lips to allow his tongue access into your mouth and readily gave in to its push. Feeling his skin against yours, chest against chest, your tits pressed against his sternum and his sweat mingling with yours. It was so intimate you sighed into the kiss, which made him chuckle lowly.
Just then, you felt it. Something hard, clothed, dig into your thigh, and a trembling, daring hand of yours slipped between your intertwined bodies and grazed the tent in his pants. Mattheo let out a sharp hiss and his lips departed from yours to bite down on your ear lobe teasingly. “Well, aren’t you nice, always thimkin’ of me?”
You ignored his comment, sittin up a little to establish eye contact. Something was burning on your tongue, something you needed to ask before anything else happened between the two of you. Your heart beat nervously against your ribcage, but when you met his chestnut eyes, you felt all worry wash away in an instant. “What is it, princess?” Mattheo asked, crooking his head in a way that had his curls fall adorably into his eyes.
Before he could, you brushed them away softly and kept your hand on his cheek, as if to stabilize yourself. “I- I want to keep going.” God, your cheeks burned from just these words and he took notice with a light smile. Mattheo made no attempts to interrupt you as you searched for the right words in your head, arranged them in order, just to discard them. You weren’t good at this, he was, he could just talk about this kind of thing without turning into a blushing mess.
“Mattheo?”
“Hm?” he made expectantly as one hand of his started rubbing slow circles on your hip. “I-” you broke off and wet your suddenly dry lips with your tongue. God, this was so embarrassing you wanted to crawl in a hole and die. “I’ve heard from others about- well-,” you stuttered hesitantly and Mattheo, slowly piecing it together, grinned teasingly, only worsening your embarrassment. With a shaky breath, you dared to meet his eye and decided just to get it over with. “Would you mind not being as- as rough on our first time? I mean, now? It’s not that I don’t- I mean, I just-,” you rambled but he placed a quick peck on your lips, effectively shutting you up.
His eyes were softer than you’d ever seen them, more open than you’d ever seen them, more vulnerable, more loving. “Hey, hey, princess. We do it exactly the way you want, the way you enjoy, alright?” he said, still drawing soothing circles on your skin.
But you frowned lightly, brows drawing together. “But that’s not right,” you protested, “what about you?”
For the split of a second, Mattheo was startled, simply because he didn't remember ever being asked this question by anyone. But of course you would. You, with the kind smile and the soft hands and the warm look in your eyes. You, who never failed to think of him even when he really didn't want you to. But who was he kidding, it felt fucking amazing to know how much you cared about him.
“I’m getting my fair share of pleasure either way,” he smirked against your lips, playfully pinching the skin of your hip. You nodded slightly, your hand shakily resting upon his clothed cock once more and he covered the shaky breath that left his lips with a growled chuckle. “Careful there, princess,” he teased, head dipping down to trail kisses up your jaw, “You’re playing with fire.”
Nothing could have prepared him for the next words that left your mouth as you brought your other hand to his chin to make him look at you. “Then maybe I want to burn with you.”
Something seemed to snap within Mattheo and he surged forward, stealing the breath out of your lungs as he cradled your face and kissed you with such force you fell back into the sheets. Your chest heaved against his as you brought your hands to his hair and he groaned into the kis, biting down on your bottom lip. “We don’t have to do it tonight,” he managed to rasp against your lips, summoning his last remnants of morality that kept him from ruininmg you right here, right now, and drinking up every single sound of pleasure you made.
“I want to, Mattheo,” you whimpered as his hand found your clit once more, rubbing slow circles over the oversensitive bud. “I want you.”
“Fucking hell, primcess,” he straight up moaned and your breath hitched when he ground his clothed erection against your bare core. But you didn't let up, bucking your hips up to meet his and mewling when the fabric of his trousers rubbed over your clit so deliciously.
“Please,” you breathed against the shell of his ear when he started sucking on the already blooming hickeys on your neck again. “Please, Mattheo, I need you.”
Holy hell, your pleading shot straight to his cock. Your slightly whiny tone, the begging. Please. Please. You repeated it and Mattheo wished he could hear you say it forever. He fucking loved hearing you beg, loved the way your breath hitched in your throat when he bucked his hips into yours and your fingers tightened in his curls. His impatient fingers fumbled with his belt, tugged at the zipper of his pants until he was able to discard them to some corner of the room he didnt care to know. Because all there was now was you. Your breathing, your little moans, your squirming figure beneath his and your god damn pleas that had him weak in the knees. And, of course, the feeble but of fabric still separating you from him.
Pulling his boxers down as quickly as possible without departing from your neck, he finally managed to get them off and his cock, an angry red and already leaking precum, slapped against his abdomen with a filthy sound. When you felt his erection rub over your core, no fabric seperating you anymore, you bit down on Mattheo’s shoulder to stifle a mewl and dug your fingers into his biceps. His lips departed from your neck as he hovered above you, his curls framing his face like a halo. God, how you loved that man.
Your eyes were locked with his as his cockhead kissed your clit and you let out a high-pitched gasp, giving him a needy look. But Mattheo’s usual teasing manner had been replaced by an almost somber look in his eyes, as if he wanted to savor every second of this. He didnt have to ask if you were ready, you only nodded and he pushed in the first few inches.
Mattheo moaned loudly, unabashedly, and you tightened your grip on his bicep at the uncomfortable stretch. God, he was big, bigger than the one you’d had before, and anxiety curled in your stomach that you wouldnt be able to fit him inside. But Mattheos seemed to sense your worry as his breath shuddered over your face and he pecked your temple. “Relax,” he cooed, whispering praises into your ear that had you tremble and blush helplessly.
He didnt move, and it seemed to cost him a great deal of willpower, but as his tip pressed into your entrance and you breathed in and out through your mouth, you slowly managed to adjust as the sting turned into a comfortable stretch. With a little nod, you signaled him to go further and he pushed in another few inches, straight up whimpering into your ear. The sound made you clench and his fingers tightened around your waist. “fuck, princess, you trying to kill me?”
You shook your head and buried your face in his shoulder, trying to relax to make him fit. Mattheo cooed at your determination, rubbing lazy circles on your clit to ease you in. “M’gonna make you feel so good, princess, promise.”
Finally, with a lot of patience and willpower, Mattheo managed to bottom out and both of you struggled for air. His hands wandered down to your hips as he chuckled against your ear. “Such a good girl, taking me like a champ, arent ya?” All you could do was whimper in response, you felt so damn full, could almost feel him in your stomach. But the uncomfortable stretch became more enjoyable by the second and you let out a shaky breath against his skin.
“M- mattheo,” you croaked out pathetically and he cooed once more, breathing in the scent of your hair. “Feel so full,” you almost slurred, as if your mind had gone permanently blank, and you could feel him chuckle darkly into your hair.
“Do you now, princess?”
You nodded and his grin persistet as he started to rock his hips against yours. He pulled out and slammed back in, eliciting a loud moan from you, and reveled in the way your face scrunched up with pleasure. Your fingers shakily tried to grasp anything, his biceps, the sheets, any sort of halt, as he repeated the movement and you mewled helplessly. Mattheo burned to pick up the pace, ram into you with all his might, claim you like the animal he was, but he forced himself to discipline and established a slow pace to help you adjust.
Hiding your face in his shoulder, soft moans of his name slipped past your lips that made it impossibly harder to keep up the slow pace, but for nothing in the world would he stop now. He couldn't. His cock fitted so perfectly into your warmth, your little moans rung in his ears like a heavenly symphony. This was truly heaven, had to be. Especially when he looked down on you to see your fucked-ut expression, the crown of your hair around your face. He’d been wrong. You weren't an angel. You were a fucking goddess.
Without him even realizing, he’d picked up the pace and your fingers dug into his shoulder. “M- mattheo,” you whimpered and he had to stop himself from mercilessly ramming into your perfect cunt. Instead, he let his head fall to your neck and bit down. The cry it elicited from you made him shiver and moan in response, as his teeth dug into your soft flesh in search of some sort of support. He knew it would be the most prominent mark of all, and he relished the thought of you walking around with it, cheeks heating when someone asked about it. Damn right, they’d know, know you were his.
As if you’d heard his thoughts, your shaky little voice rasped into his ear: “Yours, I’m yours.”
Had he said it out loud? He couldnt tell anymore as any and all resolve crumbled and he rammed into you, all the while craessing your soft body with his rough hands. “Fucking right,” he spat against your lips - when had you come this close? - “You’re mine.”
Nodding helplessly, you seemed to be at a loss for words, or maybe too fucked out to string a single sentence together. The thought made him chuckle amd you whined. When you squirmed, he held your hips down, desperately stopping himself from cumming before you. As he felt his own high approaching, his fingerds slipped back down to your clit to draw hurried circles on it. “You’re mine to worship, mine to protect-” He pistoned in and out of you and each push was met with soft little “ah”s from you as you threw your head back and exposed your neck to him, your neck that was covered in his hickeys and he moaned uncontrollably.
“I’ll kill ‘em all,” he rasped against your lips as you tightened around him and the pleasure seemed to pierce through you like arrows, blinding you as you squeezed your eyes shut and cried out his name. “Damn right,” he murmured and you werent even sure what you’d said anymore, only holding onto him as you release cam crushing down on you. “I’ll kill anyone who’ll ever hurt you, nobody touches my girl.” You were pretty sure that he, too, was merely rambling right now as his hips bucked against yours uncontrollably, having lost all steadyness or rhythm.
As the world slowly took form again around you, as you came down from your high, you could practically feel him pulse inside you and crashed your lips onto his. He kissed you back like it was the last thing he’d ever do. Between kisses, you managed to catch fragments of drunken ramblings, until you realized it was a singular phrase, repeated agin and again, breaking off and whispered repeatedly against your lips, in a way that had you wondering whether he himself knew he was speaking.
“I love you.”
Your hand closed around his as he pulled out in a rapid motion and you could feel him release his cum all over your quivering thighs. For a few seconds, there was nothing but your breathing, the soft heaving of your bare chests against each other, the desperate attempt to refill your lungs with air. Then, Mattheo rolled off of you and sank into the sheets next to you. His strong arms came to wrap themselves around your waist as he pulled you towards him. One hand found its way to your neck where he tilted your head just right to softly peck your lips, and again, and again, but giving you room to breathe.
This was new territory, but it felt almost natural to trace soft lines down your sides, card his fingers through your hair and swallow up your little sighs. Mattheo was a stranger to aftercare, as to so many things you had taught him, beginning with airplanes and ending with unconditional love. He’d almost feared this moment, but the tenderness seemed instinctive with you as he grabbed the towel you’d used earlier for his wounds, cleaned it with a bit of wandless magic and ran it over your oversensitive core.
Exhausted, you rested your head against his chest and your hand on the prominent scar on his abdomen. Finally, you dared ask. “What happened there, Mattheo?”
His lips came to softly caress your temple and one of his hands rubbed soothingly along the curve of your hip. “Nothing you’ve gotta worry about.”
“Yes, it is,” you said, but your tone suggested that you would not insist upon hearing the story tonight. “It’s you, and I worry about you, because-” you hesitated for just a moment before opening your eyes and looking up at him. “Because I love you too.”
Mattheo couldn’t answer, any ability to form words seemed to have left him as he stared into your wide, trusting eyes. Again, he felt that if there was a time to die, it was now, with you. But there was another voice too. You loved him. You cared for him. And he had sworn to you that nobody could ever hurt you again. So he had to stay, for you. He wished he could have expressed in this moment how much he appreciated you, how much he loved you, how he’d never thought he could love anyone, given his parents- how could someone coing from pure evil carry anything good inside him? But he did, you’d proved him wrong and he’d never stop being thankful for it. Even better, when you leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, he knew you understood, even without his words that would never manage to express his true feelings.
“I hope we find those clothes all again,” you said in a lighter tone, and Mattheo was thankful for it. “Not that Malfoy finds my bra or something.”
Your nose wrinkled in disgust and he laughed quietly, rubbing his nose against your temple affectionately. “Don’t you worry, they’ll know what we did anyway. Don’t think anyone could’ve missed those screams of yours, princess.”
Instead of blushing or looking alarmed, Mattheo was surprised to find you smiling sheepishly. “About that… I think I’ll have to disappoint you.” Biting down on your lower lip, you glanced at the door. “I might have put a muffliato charm on your dorm.”
“No,” Mattheo said disbelievingly, pinching a roll of your stomach and making you squeak. But he knew you weren’t lying. “When’d you do that?”
Now, there was the slightest tint of pink on your cheeks as you shrugged. “When you sent the others out. I thought… just in case…”
“fucking genuis, my girl,” he muttered into your hair and couldn't find it within himself to be irritated at you. “And here i was thinking the whole of the dungeons had heard what a good time you had tonight. No matter,” he smirked, looking back at you and examining the work he’d done on your neck and throat. “You still have the hickeys to show tomorrow.” Mattheo would gladly admit that he took pleasure in the way your eyes widened and you scrambled up in search of a mirror.
When you swung your legs over the bed to stand, however, they wobbled so hard you plopped right back down onto the mattress. Your thighs were still quivering with the last aftershocks and felt about as stable as cooked spaghetti. You glared at him when he laughed and pointed your finger at his face. “This is your fault.”
“Indeed it is,” he admitted and sat up as well, patting your bare hip. “‘m sure you’ll manage though.”
You gaped at him in indignation. “You’re not gonna help me?” When he grinned at you, you groaned, exasperated, and rose to your feet hesitantly, wobbling carefully over to the bathroom.
“‘M gonna pick your clothes up,” he said, getting to his feet as well and grabbing a pair of sweatpants to pull on. “Not that Malfoy actually finds your bra, I’d hate to have to explain to his mother why I gauged his eyes out.”
“You’re deranged!” he heard you call from the bathroom, but he could detect the smile in your voice. When you reemerged, he let his eyes run over your bare form, satisfied with his work.
You cleared your throat. “Can I have my clothes back?”
“No need,” he shrugged, storing the heap of clothes that belonged to yours in one of his drawers. “You can borrow one of my shirts.” When he caught your confused expression, he raised his brows at you. “What, you think I’m gonna let you walk back to Gryffindor Tower past curfew in your condition? You’re sleeping here tonight.”
“And your friends?” you asked hesitantly, and he flashed you a grin that could be mean no good. “Will keep their eyes to themselves if they like them.”
Once you’d pulled his shirt over your head, you slipped under the covers and Mattheo placed a soft kiss on your temple before leaving the room to notify his friends that they were allowed in again. You could still hear your heart beating in your ears amd had to suppress a squeal when the realization of what you’d just done hit you. In order to seem like a well adjusted person, you buried your head in Mattheo’s pillow and breathed in his scent. It was almost like having him here again, and you considered asking him whether you could switch pillows in the future.
But that was talk for tomorrow. How you’d get to class was talk for tomorrow. How the fuck you’d cover up the battlefield Mattheo had left on your neck was a talk for tomorrow.
After a few minutes, you heard several footsteps outside and looked up from Mattheo’s pillow. He was the one to push the door open, and his eyes softened considerably when he saw you laying in his bed, under his sheets. Behind him, the other boys trailed in, all of whom, you noticed, were purposefully avoiding to look at you directly. Malfoy seemed to be pissed about something, and you didn't have to wonder what, and Lorenzo smiled at you again, only to raise his hands in surrender when Mattheo sent him a withering glare.
Turning back to you, a smile tugged at his lips and once more, you were taken aback by his quick mood changes. Without another word, he slipped in beside you, turning his back on the room to hide you from sight and wrapped his arms around you. His breathing was calm against your ear as his chest rose and fell against your back and his smell engulfed you whole. You found yourself relaxing completely in his arms, all tension leaving your body as you leaned into him and he pressed another kiss to your temple.
“Sleep, princess,” he murmured against your skin and you nodded, resting your head against him, clasping his hand around your belly with your own and letting sleep consume you, knowing you were the safest in his arms.
a/n: thank you all so much for sticking around till the end and going on this ride with me, I hope you liked it! 🫶
