FRIENDS SENTENCE STARTERS
Maybe you need sex. I just had it a few days ago.
I wouldn't say no to that.
Well you should meet my uncle, Bada.
I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
You gotta find out if he's in the same place you are. Otherwise, it's just a moo point.
Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Have I been living with him too long or did that all just make sense?
No. Interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.
You wanted it to be a surprise.
In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky as to fall in love with my best, my best...
There's a reason why girls don't do this.
Okay, okay I'll do it. I thought, wait I can do this, I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Will you marry me?
If you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick?
Okay... sex. No, food. No, uh... I want both! I want girls on bread!
Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!
I'm [name]. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there.
I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name.
Sure, just lend me your breasts and we'll be on our way.
We could eat the wax. It's organic.
I don't want my baby's first words to be "How You Doing"
I'm [name]. I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films.
Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you. Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
Three failed marriages, two illegitimate children... The personal ad writes itself.
I think I'd be great in a war. I'd, like, get all the medals.
All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers... it doesn't make much of a difference.
You don't like the game, because you suck at it.
I don't suck at it. It sucks. And you suck.
What would you do if you were omnipotent?
It happens to lots of guys. You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, don't worry about it.
I'm not worried, I'm uh, I'm fascinated. Y'know it's like uh, Biology. Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me.
I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?
You are not gonna believe what I did today.
Well, they only give you three letters, so after A.S.S., it is a bit of a challenge.
No, no, no, if you'll unplug it, then there will be nothing to show from my day. It would be like I was at work!
Oh, it's mine. I wrote a note to myself, and then I realized I didn't need, so I balled it up... and now I wish I was dead.
Well I've had the same walk since high school and you know how when a guy walks into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a 'take notice' walk.
Well, yeah, I think we should get married!
What? Because that's your answer to everything?
Say something. Say anything. Nothing you say could make this situation worse. Oh my God, this is the longest that anyone has not spoken EVER.
I don't get it. Why can't we use the same toothbrush? We use the same soap.
That's different. The toothbrush has been in my mouth.
OK. But next time you're in the shower, think of the first place you're washing, and the last place I washed.
I'm a doctor, not a mathematician.
It's an electric drill! You get me, you kill me!
I can't say hump or screw in front of the b-a-b-y... I just spelled the wrong words didn't I?
C'mon man, just take 'em off, just take 'em off and we'll have some fun.
You're not gonna try and make me join a cult are you?
Charlotte? You know, with the web? She has babies, then she dies. It's like, "Hey, mom, welcome home from the hospital." THUD.
A no sex pact! I have one of those with every woman in America!
I know you didn't ask but no-one had spoken for fourteen minutes.
Okay, now we need the sage branches and the sacramental wine.
Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
And this from the cry-for-help department: Are you wearing makeup?
Okay, no uterus, no opinion.
Well, this is like summer in a bowl!
Could you close that window? My nipples could cut glass over here.
I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Heh. Let me get this straight. He got you to *beg* to sleep with him. He got you to say he *never* has to call you again. And he got you thinking this is a *great* idea?
Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river.
Fine. No one ever listens to me. If the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Oh, look. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his Christmas tree. Wow, you should see the size of his Christmas balls.
Did you actually interview her before you asked her to move in?
Come on. I am here to take care of you. What do you need? Anything.
Could we BE more white trash?
Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.
Hey, if we were in prison, you guys would be like my bitches.
I may play the fool at times but I'm a little more than just a pretty girl with an ass that won't quit.
I hate his underwear. one time I brought a pair marked XS and let me tell you there's no room for anything excess in there.
I thought it'd be great, you know? have some time alone with my thoughts... turns out, I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
I'm not someone who goes after a guy five minutes after he's divorced.
No, you go after them five minutes before they get married...Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.
Oh, my God! If you say that one more time, I'm going to break up with you!
Oh! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date? Your first kiss? The first time you had sex?
All right, look if you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind.
Hey buddy, this is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house.
She's so great. She kisses like my mom cooks.
It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for eighteen pages - front and back!
I figured after work, I'd pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and try to... woo her.
Hey, you know what you should do? Take her back to the 1800's when that phrase was last used.
Well, I don't know what Big Leon told you but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night.
Hey, you know, I have had it with you guys and your "cancer" and your "emphysema" and your "heart disease." The bottom line is smoking is cool and you know it.
Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew. Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster.
Ooh, I'm a man. Ooh, I have a penis. Ooh, I have to win money to exert my power over women.
I can't believe my dad saw us having sex. He didn't make it to one of my piano recitals, but this he sees.
Well, I'm a pacifist. But, when the revolution comes, I'll destroy all of you. Except for you.
Okay, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in the shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
I did break up with her. She just took it really, really well.
When did you start crapping money?
Says here that a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around ten-ish?
No, no, no. This isn't out of the blue. This is smack dab in the middle of the blue.
Goodbye, you fruit drying psychopath.
Whoa, whoa, so I'm guessing you didn't get the part... or Italy called and said it was hungry.
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