Feminism isn't about doing whatever feels good and fuels your specific personal interests btw sometimes you do in fact have to change how you think and behave

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@cherrylipgloss16
Feminism isn't about doing whatever feels good and fuels your specific personal interests btw sometimes you do in fact have to change how you think and behave
eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.
no one needs to add “sounds fake but ok”, “no”, “well, not me”, “impossible”, etc. to this post. and i’d rather you not.
one day you think: I want to die.
and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book.
and I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun
I want a cleaner kitchen
I want a better job
I want to live somewhere else
I want to live
The thing to understand is that Depression
Even When It Is Trying to Kill You!
Is Defensive.
Your brain exists to preserve you; it’s just Dumb, and how it goes about “preserving” is determined by evolution’s ‘Good Enough’ meat-and-chemistry mechanisms rather than a firm grasp of biology.
You know how, stuck atop a burning building, ppl will sometimes throw themselves off in a vain hope of surviving? That’s what depression-driven suicide is. You are under THAT amount of stress, often sustained for a FAR longer time. Your brain only understands “Stress”: it doesn’t know causes, it doesn’t know Events, and it only has the one set of instinctive ‘extreme measures’ to fall back on. I made things SO hard on myself for SO Long conceiving of Depression as a Fight I had to Win, rather than a chronic illness in need of my understanding and careful management.
Help your brain. Nurse it. Ask yourself where it hurts and why. Recognize that the desire to die is a symptom, an injury, and not your ‘Truth’. Try to calm it, Try to endure: It WILL Pass. As perverse as it sounds, your desire to die is an expression of how PASSIONATELY you want to get away from the pain tormenting you; of how MUCH you want to LIVE. PLEASE Live!
I don't care how old you are, this is RELEVENT TO YOU.
This is absolutely relevant to you. I very much appreciate that she acknowledges that this is a best case scenario based on you not having any already outstanding movement issues. Given the state of my hips right now, I'm not sure standing on one foot is possible.
Anyway, here's the list for easy reading:
Be able to stand on one foot for ten seconds. Obviously, best case, you can do this with both feet.
Be able to get up from a chair without using your arms.
Be able to lie on your stomach and comfortably turn your head.
Be able to get yourself up off the floor.
She suggest doing each of these activities once a day. If something isn't easy, you can find further exercises to help you build the needed mobility and muscle to make it easier.
i feel like no one really wants to hear that sleep/exercise/nutrition/hydration are major factors in treating mental health issues bc we’ve all talked to that person who thinks your depression would be cured by one good session of goat yoga or whatever but unfortunately they do help and i’m chronically annoyed about it
Lotsa people in the notes like "i can't change these habits because im too broke/depressed" which, as a formerly broke and depressed person, is patently untrue, so here's some starting points:
-hydration: carry around a water bottle. a funky metal water bottle you can put stickers on is like $10 and if you can’t afford it just chronically refill a gatorade bottle or smth. Just having water nearby will help. And hydration really, really helps with energy levels for things like...
-exercise: my advice for this always is "find a sport you actually like", but if you're coming off of a years-long depressive sedentary period, start by walking. Like, TO places. The bus stop. A neat tree in your neighborhood. Is there a convenience store nearby? Go get a gatorade (see:hydration). Is there a library or other place where people gather? Even better. This is free and doesn't have to take any longer than 10 minutes at first. And don't go telling yourself "oh it was only 10 minutes it doesn't count" STOP! That is the depression talking! Literally any amount of movement is 100x more movement than you were getting on the couch! You're doing great! And once you're in a good exercise habit, it will help a lot with...
-sleep: ah, the white whale. But remember that literally just lying quietly in the dark is resting, even if you don't sleep (it's science!). Try to be in bed, no lights or phones, at the same time every night and just...chill. listen to some chill music. Try not to get up for a least a few hours. And then, the next day, when you’re wrecked?? Try to avoid napping at all costs. Your circadian rhythm should theoretically stabilize after a few nights of doing this, and resting should become easier. Human chemistry is SO routine based, just keep your schedule as best you can!
Nutrition: yeah this is depression hell. But it's not as expensive as it seems to "eat healthy". Apples, bananas, and oranges are all cheaper than chips and also require pretty much no prep, just shove em in your mouth (and don't give me that shit about caloric content; yes, I know chips are more filling, but they're not going to give you the happy chemicals you need to help depression. If you're so broke you will starve without 100 extra calories from a bag of doritos, your depression has environmental causes much deeper than lack of apples.) If you CAN cook even a little bit: frozen vegetables are cheap af and they slap with some butter and garlic powder. Throw some frozen peas in your mac and cheese. Kale and zucchini are cheap as hell in summer and they are delicious when flash fried with butter and salt. I know taking 5 minutes to cook seems insurmountable when you’re depressed but as my therapist always says, the cure for depression is doing the things depression doesn't want you to do. And it will improve your mood so, so, so much to get some fruits and veggies in you.
please notice that literally ALL of the above are about building HABITS. And habits are built by inches. A single serving of frozen vegetables will not cure your depression. But a single serving of vegetables, every day? a liter of water, every day? a short walk to see some trees or smth, every day? It really does help. And Don’t beat yourself up if you miss a day or seven days or fourteen days. Just pick it back up where you left off. 2 servings of vegetables in a month is better than 0 servings in a month, or a year.
A lovely addition from @dulcecatrina
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CARE!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FEEL!!!!!! FEEL FEEL FEEL!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS GOOD AND PURE FEEL SOMETHING!!!! OPEN YOUR HEART! BE VULNERABLE! BE SOFT! BE SO FULL OF LOVE AND MESSY AND CRY YOUR HEART OUT!!!!!!! LOVE AND FEEL!!! FEEL AND LOVE!!! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CARE! IT IS OKAY TO CARE!!! TO LOVE, TO HURT, AND CRY! PLEEEEEEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE WORLD, CARE. FEEL. LOVE. BE A MESS OF LOVE AND FEELINGS!!! WE NEED OPEN HEARTS AND KIND EYES WITH BEAMING SOULS!!!! PLEASE!!!!!
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one of the things that makes autism a disability (and why some of us choose to label it as such rather than an “alternate neurotype”) is the stress.
part of autism is just being incredibly stressed. overstimulation? stress. holding a conversation? stress. something happening to our schedule? stress. people talk about how often autism is recognized and diagnosed via our stress responses (like meltdowns) because it is just so common to see autistic people stressed because of lack of accommodations to how our brains work.
and this matters because stress kills. stress causes a lot of health issues, or it can trigger pre-existing ones by making certain chronic conditions flare up. i once had a psychiatrist very unhelpfully tell me i “just need to manage my stress” when the stress i was describing was things i could not avoid in neurotypical society and can’t “just get over”. i can do “self care” all i like but i cannot at the very base level change the way my brain inputs information and reacts accordingly.
i only learned this year that loud noises aren’t physically painful for other people. i have lived 34 years in a world in which my friends and family regularly physically hurt me at random just by shouting, and i thought everyone else just thought i was kind of a wimp for not dealing with the pain as well as they did.
like. loud noises physically hurt. it’s like a static shock from my ears to my spine that doesn’t stop until the volume goes back down. i thought we all agreed that ‘that’s too loud!’ and covering our ears meant ‘ouch!’. turns out i’ve been dealing with a stressor almost no one else has, my whole life, alone.
autistic people have to keep functioning through debilitating levels of stress that no one else in their life acknowledges or helps them with. it’s no wonder that their most visible ‘tells’ are breakdowns.
“Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a lifetime.”
— Ugo Eze
You are a luxury. You are a goddess. You are divine. You are infinitely powerful and limitless. You are GOD. You are the most powerful being in your reality. You have the best self concept in the entire world. You are above everything and anyone in your reality. You cannot fail in your reality. Failure is not an option in your reality. Failure does not exist in your reality. There are no ifs, buts, hows, or whats? You only succeed.
You are the the most gorgeous, kindest, smartest, confident, talented, respected, adored and successful person in your reality. You deserve everything you desire. You are a master manifestor. You always get everything you want instantly and effortlessly because you said so. It's your decision. This is your reality, so do whatever the hell you want.
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in this new year I want you to be alright. I hope you move out. I hope you have enough money to feel safe. I hope you abandon shame and forgive yourself. I hope you get enough sleep and some good news. I hope you laugh a lot and the heaviness of the world eases a bit. I wish you to be alright.