PJO!AU || Son of Zeus!Bokuto x Child of Demeter!Reader
TURTLEDOVES & DAISIES, WITH A SIDE OF THUNDERSTORMS
TAGLIST: OPEN || send an ask to be added!
SYNOPSIS: A series of moments + how a happy accident at Camp Half-Blood brings you and Bokuto together.
It all starts when Bokuto accidentally crashes into the fields behind Cabin 4 (he still insists in Akaashi’s turtledove’s fault). Your magical plants have essentially been turned into fertilizer courtesy of reckless demigod who happens to be able to fly. But when Bokuto shows up the next day ready to help you patch up your garden (how can you resist a wide-eyed owl holding a shovel with pleading eyes), you can’t help but grow closer to a certain son of Zeus.
A/N: A few months ago Vera (@toorusquill) wrote a wonderful set of headcanons that I requested for her event and I basically fell in love with Son of Zeus!Bokuto x Child of Demeter so I begged her to let me write a series of drabbles about PJO!Bo because wow i am so in love with this concept. Anyways - Vera was a generous and benevolent queen who graciously allowed me to do so and here is the result!
summary: zuko watched iroh grow weaker with each day, guilt settling heavier in his chest knowing he couldn’t fulfill his uncle’s final wish: to see him married. but between rebuilding a nation and his royal duties, marriage felt like another burden — until, after countless sleepless nights, zuko finally came up with a solution that would keep iroh smiling a little longer.
warnings: mdni, 18+ content, smut, fem!reader, morally questionable!reader, inexperienced!zuko, experienced!reader, fake marriage, awkward intimacy, “you said this was fake so why are you looking at me like that” typa fic, jealousy, touch starvation, flirting, banter, palace drama, zuko has issues, reader also has issues, together they become everyone else’s problem.
author notes: zuko deserves romance, emotional support, therapy, peace and unfortunately i am giving him none of those things for now ✌️my bad gang.
Everyone's all "ohhh 2026 bring back physical media" until I start talking illuminated manuscripts and then suddenly we're not on the same page anymore
First time doing something like this for Bucky! This is part 1 but it is still being edited (I can't find some of the fics I like)
Fics under the cut. This is mostly angst...
NAVIGATION
SERIES
TRILOGY
Five Seconds, Five Years Apart, II, III
Angst - Bucky Barnes proposed just days before the world ended — afraid he might never get another chance. Then he vanished in Wakanda. Five years later, he’s at your door — unchanged, while your whole life has moved on. Some love survives time. But what happens when life doesn’t wait?
DUOLOGY
Praise (1.7k), Cloud Nine (4.7k)
Fluff, Smut - Bucky realises he has a praise kink after getting a tattoo. | Bucky is dating a modern woman. He didn’t expect you to get him high, though.
Traces of a Lonely World (3.2k), Final (7.3k)
Angst, Suggestive - bucky's job takes him away from you more that he cares to admit. most of the times you can understand, but there are some nights it tears you apart.
Before I Could Say It (5.9k), After I Was Too Late (10.1k)
Angst, Fluff - The three times Bucky almost confessed his love to you, and the one time he finally does. | The three times Bucky saved your life, and the one time you save each other.
Lovefool (18k), Juno (14.8k)
Fluff, Smut - James Barnes is a terrible congressman, hence Sam sending you to be his assistant. You keep him on a tight leash, and you both do a horrible job at hiding your feelings for one another. Add jealousy and alcohol to the mix? what could possibly change? | In the early stages of your relationship with Congressman Barnes, you swore he was kidding anytime he mentioned the idea of being his wife, however, it is apparent that he wasn't kidding. It's also obvious that there's nothing more that you want in the world.
ONE-SHOT
Exactly Like You Said (0.5k)
Smut - You and Bucky Barnes have always had that thing—the kind of sexual tension everyone sees coming from a mile away. Every sparring match somehow ends the same way: your thighs locked tight around his head, pretending it’s just part of the fight. But today, Bucky decides he’s tired of pretending. One snarky comment turns into a moment you can’t take back—and don’t want to. He pins you to the mat, hooks your legs over his shoulders, and shows you exactly how long he’s been thinking about this.
The Same Thing (1.4k)
Angst - during a mission, you put yourself in harm's way to protect bucky. back at the avengers compound, he wants to know why.
In the Mood (1.5k)
Angst, Fluff - He tells himself it’s fine.
Gotta keep moving—bigger things to do, too many items on his list. His libido doesn’t even crack the top ten.
Until he met… you.
Never Been Kissed (1.5k)
Fluff - You've never been one to kiss and tell.
Take Me Home (1.7k)
Angst, Fluff - the team discovers bucky's relationship with you when bucky searches for you in the hospital after hydra attacks new york
The Cost of Sides - (2.0k)
Angst - You and Bucky seem to be on opposite sides.
Cry For Me, Sweetheart (2.1k)
Smut - You always cry when he bites you. It’s not pain, not really. It’s too much your system overloads and Bucky can’t help himself.
Even If You Forget (2.1k)
Angst - After a mission gone wrong, Bucky loses all memory of his relationship with you. Though heartbroken, you patiently stay by his side, offering gentle support and quiet company. Despite the emotional distance, you hold onto the hope that someday he’ll find his way back.
Kneel (2.1k)
Angst - The three times Bucky kneeled for you, the heartbreak the ensued.
Smitten (2.3k)
Fluff - Sam finally meets Bucky’s girlfriend, though you’re not who he thinks you are.
The Stupid One (2.3k)
Angst, Suggestive - your breakup with bucky had all been his fault. he got scared and called it quits. and he regretted more than you knew. but he’d never admit that to you. at least, not while sober.
Birds of a Feather (2.5k)
Fluff - You have to attend a close relative's wedding and there's no one better to bring than your best friend, Bucky.
Love Me or Leave Me (2.6k)
Angst - You loved him deeply. But loving him started to hurt. And Bucky? He saw it coming—he just couldn’t stop it.
Out of Time, Into Our Lives (2.7k)
Fluff - A teen girl suddenly appears at the Avengers compound claiming to be from the future. While she tries to avoid revealing too much, she accidentally and subtly drops hints about her life, her siblings, and the deep bond she shares with you and Bucky Barnes both.
Oh, My Love, Side to Side (3k)
Angst, Fluff - After a successful yet traumatizing mission, you dream of losing Bucky for the first time in years. In a fit of panic, you call him. He answers. Not the phone, but the call your heart makes to his.
What You Don't Know (3.2k)
Angst, Fluff - You and Bucky are sent to find Joaquin, causing you to finally get to know each other in the process.
Put My Mind at Ease - (3.5k)
Angst - You return home from a successful mission with plans to have a pizza night with Bucky- but things go awry when an injury rears it’s head.
Open Wounds (3.9k)
Angst, Fluff - Due to an open wound, Bucky seems to hate you. And no matter what Sam does, nothing seems to change. Until you and Bucky have a heated exchange that ends in a way neither of you had been expecting.
He Still Smelled Like Home (4.1k)
Angst, Smut - A missed anniversary. A quiet goodbye. And then a metal arm shielding you from death. You were always his. Even when you weren’t.
Pink in the Night (4.5k)
Smut - Some interesting rumours have been circling around about Bucky. Little do you know, it's kinda your fault.
Hotel Mishap (5.1k)
Angst - you and bucky can't go five minutes without wanting to slam each other into a wall, so when you're forced into a hotel room with only one bed, years of unresolved tension and bruised pride boil to a breaking point.
Man in the Woods (5.1k)
Angst - Bucky pulled the trigger to save a mission—and lost the only person who made him feel human. Years later, Sam finds him deep in the woods, still living like she’s beside him.
What We Never Said (5.3k)
Angst, Fluff - You weren’t lovers. Not really friends either. Just two people who found something sacred in the silence between them—until he left.
Get Around (6.1k)
Fluff - After going on a date with Bucky, Sarah realises they're better off as friends. So she does the next best thing: sets him up with you, the Wilsons’ childhood best friend.
How You Get The Girl (7.7k)
Angst, Fluff - you thought you’d ruined everything by loving him. but that was the moment everything finally made sense.
Nine Lives (9.4k)
Smut - Bucky Barnes drives you insane—in every possible way. The bickering, the reckless plans, the way he smirks like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you. But when a mission goes sideways, leaving you both bloodied and too close for comfort, the tension between you ignites into something impossible to ignore.
You can keep pretending. Keep fighting him. But Bucky isn’t one to back down—especially when he knows you don’t really want him to.
When It All Falls Apart (8.1k)
Angst - The fate of the universe was in your hands. Bucky and you had been sent to retrieve the soul stone, a seemingly simple task. Unbeknownst to you, there was a hefty price to pay for such an exchange. You’re able to return to Earth, but it’s soon apparent part of you was left in Vormir.
Mercy Kill (10.6k)
Angst - After Bucky gets hurt on a mission, you’re forbidden from visiting him in the medbay. When you finally get to speak to him, things go differently than you expected.
(i only came to this) party 4 u (11.4k)
Angst, Fluff - For the first few months you worked with the avengers, they barely knew you. Beyond what you were like during a mission, you were a mystery to them. It was truly marvelous how well you worked with the team and yet there was so little they knew about you.
You barely went to team bonding and you NEVER went to Tony Stark's parties. Well, not until last night. And you’re never going again.
Because of James Bucky Barnes.
Lost in the Wild (12.9k)
Angst, Fluff, Smut - It was supposed to be an easy mission. In and out. But then communication went out. The intel became useless. The weather turned horrific. Bucky lost his gun. And then, you.
Come Find Me (13.4k)
Angst - Bucky cant wait for you to return from your mission. But when your partner comes back without you, it’s up to Bucky to bring you home safe.
In the Woods (13.5k)
Angst, Smut - He left you behind to keep you safe, but safety never stopped the heartbreak. Now, a year of grief, silence, and sleepless nights unravel the moment he shows up at your door with his new team—bruised, breathless, begging. You’re angry and he’s sorry, but the love is still there. It always has been.
Meet Me Halfway (15k)
Angst, Fluff - Bucky has to recruit the love of his life to save New York from the void. He doesn't know if she wants to ever see him again, though.
A Thousand Times Before (16.5k)
Angst, Fluff - Bucky travels to an alternate universe for the sake of a mission. But he doesn’t expect to come face to face with a version of you that loves him, completely and openly. Back in his own world, he is left with a truth he can’t keep to himself anymore.
SHORT FICTIONS (drabbles, prompts, requests, blurbs, etc.)
Bucky’s cock being so fucking big he teases you about it (0.1k)
Smut
Bucky giving you backshots (0.1k)
Smut
Bucky Barnes taking you from behind and talking you through it, kissing your neck (0.2k)
Alright besties, I wrote this because I'm selfish and wanted fae!stucky content. This is an x reader with no use of y/n. Reader is referred to as Sunny, Sunshine, Solynshka, and Mo Ghra and Ghrian. Yes I dove into the irish-fae vibes, especially because of my first gen irish boy, Steve Rogers... ANYWAY, ENJOY!
Word Count: 9.6k.... Anything is a oneshot if you try hard enough ahahaha.
PG-13, minors DNI (pls, just, don't).
It Will Come Back
The first time you spot the carefully constructed formation of rocks is on your morning walk around the campus’ lake. It’s a two mile walkway surrounded half by woods and the other half bordering some of the University buildings (namely the science building and greenhouse), littered with benches, signs explaining local flora and fauna, and sculptures donated by Art alumni. It’s your favorite part of the day before going into work because nobody is around. It’s quiet and peaceful, and thoughts of dissertation writing are far from your brain when the sun is just beginning to illuminate the calm waters of the lake. Going into your third year of a five year program, being a newly upgraded doctoral candidate, was no joke. Between teaching, conferences, writing your dissertation and publishing research… These morning walks have become sacred, full of fresh air and cool dew that soaks your socks if you’re not careful when walking in the grass. But that circular formation, so perfect, and albeit made with some pretty dope looking rocks (you’re a sucker for a pretty rock, call it your little crow brain), makes the warning bells sound in your brain, memories of sitting at your Irish grandfather’s knee hearing tales of the fae folk floating to the surface.
In all those stories, fairy circles were something you used to obsess over as a child. Sure you loved Greek mythos, thought Egyptian gods were cool, but you fell for Celtic mythology. Your grandfather gifted you a book of Irish mythos at ten years old, and you had read it front to back the entire 8 hour drive home from thanksgiving that year. As an adult, your trips to Ireland only cemented your belief in the magic discussed in the books and the fae. It was during your time in Wicklow National Forest that tales of fae portals became belief as one very intricately woven doorway nearly stole you away. You don’t remember how long you stood before that doorway before a fellow hiker jogged you out of the trance. You had been staring into what you still couldn’t vocalize into concrete terms; but one thing for sure was it was real and it was magical. Images of intense gazes, seductive smiles, and voices calling to you to join them, to let them take care of you… It still pops into your head, especially on those late nights where sleep would evade you.
SO needless to say, your ass was not stepping foot in that circle. But it was odd to see the circle in the first place, especially after three years of walking the same trail over and over again. Shrugging you stepped around it and kept going down the trail, smiling up towards the rising sun as it warmed your skin.
What you didn’t catch in that moment were the eyes fixed upon you lurking in the shadows of the forest, smirking at the way you had warily studied their trap and quickly side stepped around it. Such a clever creature.
Walking into your office suite with both headphones still in, and blasting Florence + The Machine, you noticed some of your colleagues were… fangirling? Over something? Popping out an earbud you cough to catch their attention. “Well hey y’all, where’s the fire?” The joke is lighthearted but also intentional in finding out what was going on. “We were just reading the announcement of the two new professors in the department, and girrrrl, they are FINE!” One of your colleagues, and fellow doctoral cohort member, named Shayna is flushed and giggly. But that’s also how she looked after seeing anything Pedro Pascal related so you weren’t too surprised. “Okaaay? Spill their names!” Walking over to her desktop, you looked at the screen and felt your heart skip a beat.
“Announcing the appointments of Dr. James Buchanan Barnes and Dr. Steven Grant Rogers to the Communication and Digital Media Department.“
Their headshots were fucking gorgeous. Two gazes of blue, so piercing, it felt as if they were looking directly at you through the screen. It made a shiver crawl up your spine. Their eyes… they were so familiar, and those smiles! Goosebumps erupted across your arms. Shaking yourself from the weird feeling in your stomach, you simply shrugged to your colleagues and went to your own office to unlock and get prepared for the day. You had a 9:30 am Public Speaking course and a 12:30 pm Intro to Oral Interpretation course; leaving you time in between to work on the newest comments on your dissertation draft (aka commenting with your main advisor to help you find some damn definitions for something that seemingly has never been defined before academically). As you set your desk up, slipping your headphones back on, you didn’t hear your cohort greeting the men you’d just seen on the screen. So engrossed in the music and routine, you didn’t hear the knock on your cracked door either.
It was the electric warmth that shot through you at a butterfly touch on your shoulder that had you twisting in shock at the person, headphones falling off and backward onto your desk, as you saw the intruder in your space. Your throat tightened at the man, creature, in front of you. Tall, handsome, inhuman. Pointed ears, teeth too sharp, eyes with an unnatural glow to them. He was so beautiful it hurt to look at him. Blinking, thinking you must’ve read too much fae romance in the last few weeks (your escape from revisions and conference planning; and a guilty pleasure after your time in the Wicklow National Forest), you thought the visage would disappear…
It didn’t.
Swallowing hard, trying to stay calm, you smiled apprehensively. “Uh, hi, sorry I didn’t hear you knock.” You said, trying to stay as calm as possible as you believed you were surely losing your mind. He blinked at you, too, cocking his head slightly to the side as if a predator glancing confused at the behavior of its prey. He smoothly and quickly recovered, and when you blinked next, his visage nearly melted away into something more normal— but those glowing eyes didn’t disappear, simply dimmed. He smiled softly at you, and offered his hand to shake. “No worries, you were fairly engrossed in your task. I’m Dr. Rogers.” Your heart stuttered a bit. This was Dr. Rogers? Holy fuck. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m sorry I’d shake your hand but I literally just worked out and my hands are so gross.” You weren’t fully lying, your hands were sweating and you were still in your workout gear; your duffle in the corner holding your jumpsuit and the back of your door held your blazer; but the truth is you didn’t want to touch him or accept anything from him. He’s not human. The little voice inside your mind whispered.
He smoothly placed his hand in his pocket, still smiling, albeit sharper now; and seemed to be staring at you. Waiting. For what? “Well uh, I have to get ready for the day… it’s good to meet you.” You offered a small tight smile. “Of course, I was just hoping I’d learn your name?” He responded. Never give them your name, if you give them your name you give them power over you. You swallowed harshly, trying to find a loophole or escape, and it came in the form of Shayna as she called your name. “Ope, I see you’ve already met our sunshine!” She said, fully opening the door to see Dr. Rogers and you looking at one another. “Sunshine?” Another voice piped up, and looking for Dr. Roger’s shoulder, you had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from gasping. Same pointed ears, same sharp teeth; but those eyes… blue with a ring of gold glowing as they looked at you. And you knew he knew you could see through it… the glamour. It wasn’t working on you.
Why the fuck wasn’t it working on you?
When you blinked, the visage melted just like Dr. Roger’s had, but the golden shine remained, making your stomach flip. “Yeah, the first time we all met as a cohort, she came bounding in dressed in a gorgeous yellow maxi skirt and,” “My Hadestown T-shirt on, looking like a ray of sunshine.” You both finished together, shaking your head with mirth at the reminder. “And the nickname was cemented. Especially the day I went frolicking in the rain.” You added, grin gracing your features. The two men, fae, stared at you in a moment of awe and hunger. Yes, they’d come here partly to see if they could tempt one of the only humans who had managed to escape their trance back in Wicklow, but they weren’t expecting this. You could see them despite the glamour…
Bucky and Steve had always known they were meant to be together, but in the last century they had begun to feel an ache. A missing piece. One no other fae could fill, and so they began visiting the human realm, they studied in the universities, worked on and off again, attained high degrees and titles all while searching for the one to ease their ache. Despite it all, they couldn’t find their missing piece… but in Wicklow as they and other fae folk, would try to lure in new toys… there you had stood; denying temptation and fighting that seductive pull so many would succumb to in seconds flat. And now, away from that portal and sacred ground, you stood before them and saw them as they were, and you knew exactly what they were… and the flash of defiance in your eyes told them you were doing just that here, too.
After short pleasantries, with you reiterating your name to them (Because surely just stating your name wouldn’t get you whisked away to fairyland after someone had already said your name), they greeted you properly, by name…And Jesus, your name sounded so good coming from their lips. Fighting back the blush that was surely gracing your cheeks, you smiled kindly at them. “You’ll often hear me referred to as sunshine or sunny, feel free to do so as well.” Before they could respond, your phone buzzed; it was 8:30. You needed to get dressed and get your lesson plan organized for the day. “Well, welcome to the department, as much as I’d love to keep the convo going, I have to prepare for class. Good morning to you both, Dr. Rogers, Dr. Barnes.” You nodded to each as Shayna ushered them out and away, quickly but calmly closing the door after them. You clicked the lock, backing up to your desk and gripping the edge of it as your heart raced in your chest.
The new fucking professors were Fae. How the fuck was that real? God you felt like you might throw up. Thank goodness for the distraction that was your teaching schedule.
Bucky and Steve lingered for a moment outside of your office, listening as your breathing quickened and as you began moving around. Smiling, they looked at each other with mischief twinkling in their eyes, before catching up with their tour guide, Shayna, to meet the rest of the faculty.
You were able to go the rest of the day successfully avoiding both of the new doctors in the department, deciding that instead of working on your dissertation after your 12:30 course, you’d head to your favorite coffee spot instead to put space between yourself and campus; away from them. Sitting in a corner booth, sipping your usual, you gleaned through web page after web page of Celtic mythos. Any mention of Fae or Fairy was control-f-searched and read through. So far you learned the difference between the seelie and unseelie, what gentry fae were, and the conspiracy that Hozier and Florence Welch were unseelie and seelie fae, respectively. Nothing about being able to see past a fae’s glamour— lots ON what glamour was, and on the do-and-do-nots you already knew, but nothing helpful for this situation. You were half tempted to hop on Reddit and be like “hey r/fae what happens if, hypothetically, a human can immediately see through a fae’s glamour?”… but you weren’t that desperate.
Yet.
Sighing and finishing your coffee, you shut the laptop and rolled your neck. You’d initially been working on the revision comments on your third chapter of the dissertation, but the thoughts of those two men kept invading your thoughts… It became clear that until you researched what was pulling at the edges of your brain, then you’d get work done. Sighing, you check your phone for texts from the cohort before you leave to get ready, making sure karaoke is still on. Every Friday night since the first year was karaoke night for the cohort at your local haunt, and after a day like today? You were treating yourself to a Jameson Whiskey, Ginger, and Lime. Maybe two. Walking out to your car, an old but reliable blue sedan that used to be your parent’s, your steps faltered. Stuck under one of your windshield wipers was a small bouquet of flowers. But not just any flowers— purple tulips.
When you were in Ireland, specifically when you were in Cork, your tour guide had explained the battle between the fae folk that had happened; and that wherever you might see tulips or daffodils was where the grave of a fairy was. You remember seeing various patches of such flowers in Wicklow Forest… and those purple tulips, so rich and vibrant it made your head kinda hurt to look at, had only been spotted deep in the Forest. You’d seen them near the fae portal, the one you nearly walk through in every dream since visiting. But you also knew the meaning of purple tulips thanks to a book in the language of flowers you’d picked up at a thrift store during your travels in London; those flowers on your windshield represented nobility and royalty, luxury, new beginnings… and admiration.
Swallowing hard, you glanced around, searching for the source but finding the street empty. Don’t pick them up, don’t even touch them, it’ll come across as acceptance. Fae folk are tricky like that, just use the wipers to get them off. Your inner voice warned, sounding so much like your departed grandfather…and it hadn’t let you down yet. You knew there were so many loopholes in which a fae could claim their intended target, and you refused to be caught in one. You fought too damn hard to be here, a doctoral candidate, so close to the PhD you could taste it, to let some supernatural bullshit steal it all away now.
Your wipers sent the flowers flying, and throwing your car into drive, you drove forward and off toward your apartment complex, the wind carrying the rest of the flowers away.
Bucky picked up the discarded flowers with a sigh, not disappointed but wistful. “She’s smart.” Steve said, twirling a discarded flower between his finger tips. “She’s done her research, that’s for sure.” Bucky agreed, wrapping an arm around Steve’s waist as they walked back to the coffee shop. “It’ll make the end of the chase so satisfying, though, won’t it buck?” Steve teased, pressing a kiss to his mate’s cheek. “Oh, absolutely Stevie. And I heard from a little bird that there’s karaoke tonight…” Bucky grinned deviously. They’d have a blast teasing you tonight, testing your knowledge and pushing the bounds.
“Sunny! You made it!” Quinn, one of the third year doctoral students, shouted with joy as you walked into the bar. “Jesus, Quinn, I think the whole of town knows I made it now!” You teased, winking at him. “We’re getting the set list together, any song requests?” If you hadn’t done Careless Whisper for the fifth time in a row the previous week, you’d go with it, but seeing as things were getting flipped upside down in your life, you decided a little Billy Joel was in order. “Key up Movin’ Out for me, and maybe a Chappell Roan for round two— not Pink Pony Club! I think I almost blew my vocal cords last time I attempted it.” You called, before sauntering over to the bar.
Laying down your debit card and ID, you pointed to the bottle of Jameson on the top shelf. “I’d like a whiskey ginger lime with Jameson; and go ahead and open a tab for me.” You requested with a smile. The bartender checked your ID, then handed it back and nodded. You waited patiently, leaning your back against the bar to watch the entrance. Slowly your cohort, and the ones under yours (it was the third year; how the hell did y’all become the ‘elders’ of these students already?) trickled in and waved. Shayna, obviously having pre-gamed, waves enthusiastically before skipping to Quinn. “Here you are, enjoy.” You turned and took the drink, thanking the bartender and moving to join your friends.
Bucky and Steve slipped into the bar while a group of students sang ‘Its My Life’, quickly clocking where you sat sipping on a cocktail and cheering on your friends. As your nickname suggested, you looked as radiant as the sun in a beautiful yellow dress that was the shade of the last rays of light before dusk, golden. Ordering two whiskeys and sitting in a corner booth, they watched as you joked, giggled, and drank while your friends sang on the stage. When you neared the end of your drink, Bucky approached the bartender with a disarming smile. “You see that gal over there? She’s a doll ain’t she? Well we work together, and I saw her drink was running low, go ahead and make her another on me.” He winked, the bartender near swooning as they nodded and got to making the drink on Bucky’s tab.
Let the new challenge begin.
“Alrighty sunshine! Are you ready to grace us with some Billy Joel?” Shayna teased, and you groaned before nodding and finishing your drink. You’d need it. Grabbing the mic from her, you watched the screen as the familiar intro played, but felt the hairs on your arms stand up as the weight of someone’s eyes settled on you. It wasn’t until you were halfway through the song that you looked out past your friends and saw those glowing blue eyes from the morning gazing intently at you.
“You should never argue with a crazy mimimimind; you ought to know by now! You can thank Uncle Sam with the overtime; is that all you get for your money?”
You sang, shifting your gaze away as quickly as you could, focusing back on your friends. Fae be fucking damned, you told yourself mentally, even as you felt a warmth come over you- obviously just the alcohol hitting your system, right? Not attraction. After wrapping up, you happily handed the mic off to the next person and approached your table, where a new whiskey ginger lime waited for you. “I didn’t order another,” you said looking at Shayna puzzled. “Oh yeah the bartender said that someone bought you a drink!” A cold feeling hit you, and you looked up towards where you saw them, and narrowed your eyes as they raised a glass to you. Fuck their fae trap, you weren’t dumb.
To Steve there was nothing sexier than the way you came striding over, your hips swaying as you did, a look of determination and annoyance clear in your features. “Well hello, sunshine. How are you this fine evening?” He greeted, mischief in his eyes as he smirked at you. “I’m just dandy, Dr. Rogers, Dr. Barnes.” You greeted curtly. “Oh please, mo ghra, leave the formalities for work! You can just call us Steve and Bucky.” There was a flash of recognition at the pet name, it sounded familiar, but you pushed the thought down and stored it in your mind for later. Right now you need to set these two on track. Placing the drink down before them, you crossed your arms and looked down at them.
Bucky cocked an eyebrow, looking at you with faux confusion. “Is the drink not to your liking?” You snorted and rolled your eyes. “Oh I’m sure it is if you had the bartender make exactly what I ordered, but you both surely know I’m not that naive.” “And, pray tell, mo ghra, why would we think you’re naive?” Steve asked, that mocking tone of concern in his voice. Bucky’s lips slightly turned upwards at the way you clenched your fists. “Gentlemen, let’s cut to the chase;” you leant down, hands resting on the table of the booth, as they leaned towards you as well. “I know what you are, you know that I know; and you know that I know the rules. Save your trickery for someone who wants it.” You whispered, before straightening with a smile. “Now, y’all enjoy your evening, I’m sure I’ll see you around on Monday.” And with that you turned on your heel and marched back to your friends. Bucky watched as you retreated, letting out a low whistle. “Goddamn I love a feisty woman.” Steve nodded, plucking the drink up and taking a swig. “Oh god,” he groaned at the taste. “She drinks Jameson. We’re keeping her forever, Buck.” Bucky laughed, deep and melodic, making you turn towards the sound whether you meant to or not. He winked at you, and you quickly looked back to your friends, a warm feeling settling in your stomach. Goddamn hot fae.
The weekend was blessedly calm, and the next school week started just as calm. The fairy circle from the previous walk was gone, allowing you to relax and simply listen to your music as you disassociated on what you planned to do with the remaining revisions you had left for your dissertation draft. Monday had passed clear of any issues, same for Tuesday and Wednesday.
Thursday? Well… That was another story. The morning began as usual, you ate breakfast at the bar in your apartment, fed your lizard (Stella, shout out to Tennessee Williams), and made your way to the campus lake walking trail. Headphones in, blasting Kendrick Lamar (squabbling to warm up, amiright?), everything felt just right. The mourning doves were twittering about and the sun was cresting up; it was peaceful—until the sound of jogging and a musical voice broke you out of your thoughts, calling—“On your left, sunshine!” Looking back, your eyes widened at the sight before you. Dr. Rogers, shirtless, jogging up to you. God how did he get that six pack? Did he lift fucking trains instead of traditional weights?
“Good morning, mo ghra.” You blinked, when did he get right beside you? Oh god you’d been staring off into his fucking abs. God smite you now. Swallowing thickly you looked away, a flush on your cheeks. “G-good morning, Dr. Rogers.” You replied, suddenly finding the lake much more interesting to look at than him. Steve made a tutting sound, and suddenly a warm hand was guiding your chin back to look at him. His touch felt like electricity and it shot all the way down into your toes. “Now, now, Miss Sunshine, what did I ask you to call me?” His eyes were fucking hypnotic and goddamn it all you could drown in them. “Sunshine?” His hand was cupping your chin now, thumb stroking your jaw, waiting patiently for an answer. “S-Steve. Good morning, Steve.” You stuttered, trying to get your breathing to calm down. His gaze softened at the sound of his name on your lips, his thumb lifting to brush your bottom lip, a soft smile on his face. “Good girl.” Your knees felt shaky, and you quickly pulled away, clearing your throat and looking away, feeling your face turn at least five shades redder. “Well, uh, this was fun for a minute, hehe, but I’ve got to finish my workout.” You said, deciding the best course of action would to be to turn your ass around, power walk back to the beginning of the trail where your car waited, and say fuck it to making the full loop around the lake.
The blue eyed and blonde fae had other plans for you, as he grasped your wrist in his hand. Instinct made you jerk, refusing to be caught, but instead of letting go he simply spun you back around to face him, then let your wrist drop. “Walk with me, I need to cool down anyways.” He said, and you knew it wasn’t a question of ‘if’ you would but whether you’d try to run off (yeah, fuck that) or just bite the bullet and walk with him. “Fine, let’s walk then.” You huffed, walking past him to continue forward. He fell in step with you, letting you set the pace. The music you’d been playing could faintly be heard from the headphones, your favorite music the only sounds other than the birds, bugs, and your breathing. The silence wasn’t half bad, to be honest, it was kind of nice. Just walking, feeling the sun warm your skin and the breeze cool your still flushed face. As the end of the trail came up, and the view of your car parked by the lake got closer and closer, you felt a sense of relief sag through your shoulders. As you came to a stop at the trailhead, you opened your mouth to say goodbye (so you could run) but before you could, Steve had placed his hands on your shoulders. That warmth from before came shooting through you, causing you to shiver. “Your shoulders sure are tense, sunshine. Let me help with that.” His eyes twinkled, and before you could say no thanks, he was turning you around.
And holy fuck did he have magic hands. You didn’t mean to, but the audible groan of satisfaction that rolled out of your lips, made you blush as he gently kneaded your shoulders. You swore you could hear his smirk as he continued to massage the tensions from your muscles. Time felt like it slowed, but in all reality, Steve only massaged for around five minutes…maybe 7? Your brain was a little fuzzy. “Feel better, mo ghra?” You shivered, pulling away from his grasp and turning to face him. Without the glamour, his hair seemed to have a shine of its own; true golden strands mixing with light blonde; and his eyes… The blue seemed to match the color of the sky, but darkened as you gazed at his face. Blinking, you shook your head and took a step back. “Y-yes. Th-uh, you didn’t have to do that.” You responded, glancing away, not being able to bear the weight of his gaze, cursing yourself for almost fucking up and thanking him. You couldn’t say thank you, manners be damned, as it would be too easy for him to twist and whisk you off. He stepped toward you, and in startled stepping backwards, hit a bench you didn’t know was there, resulting in you involuntarily sitting. He smiled, a bright and dazzling smile holding no malice but maybe a twinge of mischief, as his hands rested on either side of the bench’s back beside you. Effectively caging you in.
Despite working out he smelled good- how the fuck did that work? He smelled of crisp apples and cinnamon; and petrichor, the smell of the rain. It was intoxicating. God help me I think I’m gonna sin. You thought, biting your bottom lip as he leaned in. You swore he was going to kiss you, but instead he rested his forehead against yours. “If you keep looking at me like that, mo ghra, I won’t be responsible for my actions in the future.” Your breath hitched as his eyes became stormy, the blue swirling like a sea churning. What does it mean?” Your voice was soft, as if speaking the words any louder would make him disappear. Pulling back slightly and tilting his head with a furrowed brow, he asked “What does what mean, sunshine?” You closed your eyes, stealing your courage. “That word, the mo ghra, you keep calling me. What does it mean?” He chuckled, shaking his head amused. “For a gal who loves Celtic mythos and Jameson, you don’t know much Gaelic do you?” The question made the hair on your neck stand up and you felt defensive. “I know ‘mo’ means ‘my’, but alas writing a dissertation has resulted in my Gaelic getting rusty.” You sassed, crossing your arms as you stared defiantly at him. Now he laughed, a real genuine laugh that made butterflies erupt in your stomach. It was beautiful, and held such joyful emotion it felt near infectious. But you wanted an answer, so you needed to focus. “Oh darling sunshine,” he finished his laughter, leaning in close again. For a moment you thought he might really kiss you, and you wondered if that’d be such a bad thing as your eyes fluttered closed, but instead you felt his breath on your neck and his lips by your ear. “It means ‘my love’, mo ghra.” Now it was your turn to laugh, shocked, leaning back and away from him. “Haha, very funny, Steve.” You said, expecting to see a mischievous, or hell a cruel smile, waiting for you.
Instead his face held nothing of the sort. It was open, serious, and genuine. “Why? Why call me that?” You breathed, not quite a demand but also not quite just a question. Certainly not a question you’d be okay not getting the answer to. Steve leant back toward you, and your heart skipped a beat. Swallowing harshly, you stared back at him, refusing to look away, to be weak or scared despite the way your body was trembling. His breath was warm as it fanned across your face, and your heart rate picked up as his face got close to yours. “The real question sunshine is why you don’t think you’d be worthy to be my love, when you’re the only one to see past my glamour on the first glance.” Your breath caught in your throat. The only one? “There’s no way, surely there’s been others?” He laughed without humor now, his eyes closing briefly, before opening them back up to show the glowing hues of blue dancing in his irises. “Oh sweet sunshine, how wrong you are. There is no one that is like you.” His voice deepened, damn near coming out like a growl as his forehead rested against yours.
Your hands came up to his shoulders, not knowing whether to push him away or pull him close. The tension between the two of you could be cut with a butter knife. The sound of your phone ringing broke you two apart, and you gulped in the air you didn’t know you hadn’t been breathing. It was Shayna. And it was 20 minutes before your colloquium class. “I, I have to go.” Thankfully Steve had stepped back, the glamour firmly put back in place but his eyes no less haunting than before. “Of course,” he nodded, before grasping your free hand in his to help you stand up. Instead of letting go, though, he brought your hand to his lips to press a soft kiss to your knuckles. “See you around, mo ghra.” You bit your cheek hard, his lips felt like fire on your skin, and if you didn’t know any better you’d probably throw yourself into his arms and kiss the daylights outta him. But you did know better— and you knew that the fae were tricky. Pulling your hand away, you gave him a nod before walking away. The minute you left his eyesight, you sprinted to your car, threw your buckle on and tore ass out of the parking area.
The rest of that week had been spent finishing revisions and grading elevator-pitch speeches, and avoiding the new faculty like the plague. Luckily no one had questioned you, thanks to being a freshly made doctoral candidate, so you were able to get work done and push the lingering feeling of warmth from where Steve had kissed your hand. But then, that next weekend, you found a new fairy circle. One made of mushrooms, on the outskirts of the forest line by your apartment. It was an area you liked to go sit in and write when you couldn’t look at screens or take the sounds of your apartment complex anymore. You’d almost stepped into it, but the deep red of the toadstools caught you off guard, making you back up. Inside the circle looked to be a note. Try not to study too hard, solynshka. — B. You looked up and around, startled. How the fuck did they know where you lived? And how did they know you liked to sit there? You, again, side stepped and moved back towards the apartment complex, deciding that maybe the study rooms provided by your apartment would be safest right now.
Oh how wrong you were. Sure there were no portals to accidentally step into, but then the dreams started up. It started as the other dreams had, with that memory of standing in the Wicklow National Forest.
You barely felt the chill of the cool spring air on your face as you stared intently into the doorway, familiar blue eyes with a ring of gold around the pupils, glowing like that of a wolf’s, giving you the impression that they were studying you just as intently as you were them. You knew those eyes…You swore you knew those eyes but you couldn’t put your finger on how. The woods around you were alive with the soft sounds of rustling, bugs chirping, and the breeze through the leaves above you. Then you’d feel hands on your arms, and suddenly you weren’t in your layered hiking clothes anymore, but the yellow maxi skirt and tank top you’d worn to the New Faculty Potluck the week after Dr. Barnes and Dr. Rogers had arrived. You blinked in confusion, your head feeling fuzzy at the sudden change. Calloused hands rubbed up and down your bare arms, and the heat of their palms made you feel almost delirious. Their touch, and the gaze in the doorway that seemed to twinkle with delight, created such warmth inside you, you felt tipsy. “Bheith linne, mo ghrian.” Lips caressed the shell of your ear, and you sighed dreamily as the Irish Gaelic washed over you. “Let us take care of you, solynshka..” Another voice, from the doorway, purred. “Please.” You whispered, and felt yourself stumbling, reaching for the portal.
You shot up, heart racing, sweat down your back… and panties wet. Surely this was just a… weird wet dream induced by all the books you’d been reading and the stress of two fae appearing suddenly in your life.
But that wasn’t a one-off dream. And soon those eyes and touches began to drive you slightly batty. Every dream began the same, and ended with you inches closer to stepping through the damn doorway before you would shoot up in bed, or the alarm would sound.
Four weeks to the day that they arrived, you were finally able to find a spot, sans fairy circle, with a good night's rest thanks to melatonin and the sleepy girl mocktail, to enjoy a little picnic while reading over your first fully-completed draft of your dissertation. You were playing the jazz playlist you made in year two to help with focus, enjoying the trumpet of Moonlight Serenade by Glen Miller floating around you. Chewing on the last of a bunch of green grapes, you closed your eyes and tilted your head up to the sun shining on your cheeks, relishing in it. A rustle of leaves made your eyes snap open and the sight before you had you nearly choking on said grape. James “Bucky” Barnes was walking toward you with a grin on his face, a book tucked under his arm and a thermos in hand. “Fancy to see you here, solynshka.” He greeted, plopping down in front of you and making himself comfortable on your picnic blanket, despite no invitation to join you. His glamour was just as beautiful as his real form, but definitely not as stark as his true form. His eyes still shone with a slight golden glow around his irises, but they made you feel more… safe. At ease. “I could say the same, Dr. Barnes, not many know about this spot.” You trailed off, looking back down at your writing, hoping he’d get the hint.
He didn’t, of course, instead you quickly found your dissertation out of your hands and in those of the man across from you. “Hey!” You said, reaching across the cloth to grab it back, but your other hand, which you’d put out to steady you as you reached, didn’t quite make contact with solid ground, causing you to fall right into him. Somehow you landed with your head in his lap, looking up as he studied what you’d been reading. “Dr. Barnes,” you moved to get up, but his free arm came to rest on your abdomen, hand warm and steadying, keeping you in position. “Shh, shh, solynshka, I’m reading. And you know what to call me, don’t you?” He glanced down at you, the golden ring around those steel blue eyes glowing as he looked at you. Your breath hitched, but just as quick as he looked you in the eyes, he looked back at your paper. You lay there for a few minutes, listening as the jazz music from your phone continued floating around you both, the sounds of him turning the pages…
Finally, you decided to say fuck it and just give him what he wanted. “...Bucky?” He hummed, looking down at you with a smile that made you feel dazzled. “Yes, solynshka?” “Why did you come out here?” He smiled, putting your dissertation to the side so he could trace your features. His fingertips ghosted over your forehead, the bridge of your nose, the bow of your lips, down to your jawline and back up to your hairline. “Because of you, solynshka… You’ve been avoiding us, doll.” I bit my lip, closing my eyes. “I needed to finish my work.” You mumbled, argument weak even to you. “Mmm, yes I know, doll. You’ve been working so hard, won’t you let us help you relax?”
Bucky smirked as a blush settled across your cheeks and you shook your head. He allowed you to sit up when you moved his hand from your abdomens and rolled to the side. “You know I can’t let that happen.” You said, scooting back to where you originally sat. The more distance you put between this magnetic motherfucker the better. “Mmm, yes you do see hell bent on not accepting anything we have to offer.” His tone was teasing, but the look in his eyes told a different story. Those baby blues looked like a storm, and the emotions you struggled to decipher except for one; frustration. You clenched your jaw, he had no right to be frustrated at you! If anyone had a right to frustration it was you. “Because I know the rules, Bucky. And I’ve worked too fucking hard to get to the point I’m at to be whisked away by, by…” You looked away, catching yourself before you said something you’d regret. By fae? By two hot men? By chance?
“By fate?” Your head snapped to look at him. His gaze darkened as he drank in the way your shoulders tensed, your eyes wide, your mouth dropping to say something but stopping before you did. “That’s what this is, solynshka. Fate. Why else would you have seen past all of this,” with a wave of his hand, the glamour dissipated, and all that remained was the raw, beautiful, true form of the fae before you. The gold in his eyes seemed to hold you hostage as he inched closer to you, your stomach doing flips and heart rate picking up. “With nothing but a glance?” You opened your mouth to argue, to, say something! But in a blink, he was kneeling in front of your criss-cross form, hands cradling your face and tilting it upwards to look at him. Your breathing was shallow, heart racing as his thumbs stroked your cheeks, and the heat of his skin settled into your bones. “Oh my little sun; my solynshka…” he leant down, pressing his forehead to yours, a minick of what Steve had done a few weeks back. His eyes remained on yours, and you could not bring yourself to blink.
His lips were close to yours now, you could feel his breath against them, and you felt that familiar heat sink into you as you thought about what it would be like to press upward just a little, and feel those lips on yours. He seemed to read your thoughts, as his thumbs gently caressed your jaw, his eyes reflecting a longing that nearly took your breath away. “We just want to adore you, doll.” He whispered, face dipping so his lips could brush against your cheek. Your eyes fluttered closed as you tried to catch your breath and not let the feeling of his stubble against your skin make you melt. “I can’t, we can’t, I-I have to finish what I started.” You whispered, opening your eyes to look at him. Your hands grasped his wrists, gently squeezing, begging him to let go before you did something irrevocable.
He let go of your face, but caught your hands in his, stroking the back of them with his thumbs. “I suppose you do… but so do we, solynshka.” Lifting your hands to his lips, he pressed a kiss to each, before letting go, standing, and picking up his book from your picnic blanket, and the thermos. “Until later, sunny.” He winked. And then… he was gone. You quickly gathered your items and made your way back to your apartment, but not before freezing. “What the fuck did he mean but ‘so do we’?!”
From there on you did your best to try and avoid the two fae.
Key word, try.
The dreams had somewhat let up, but that seemed to be due to them somehow becoming embedded into your schedule. Bucky took a keen interest in your dissertation, and much to your chagrin, your advisor agreed to let him help you. And, frustratingly so, he was good at helping! Whenever you found yourself in a writer’s block—or thought that your eyes would melt if you stared at a screen trying to define “performative communication” for one more fucking second—he would swoop in and save the day with outside perspective, a fantastic source, or a simple walk to take a break. A walk you made sure was in the building and not anywhere you could accidentally walk into a fucking fae circle.
And then there was Steve, fucking Steve, who was somehow always sliding observations and suggestions for your classroom and lessons, under your office door every other day. You knew he wasn’t going into your office, but somehow the papers ended up on your desk, with new ideas and options to enhance your curricula and teaching. At first you had ignored it, feeling offended that somehow your teaching wasn’t up to his standards… but then it seemed Shayna, Quinn, and even some of the first year PhDs were receiving similar tips and tricks… to wonderful consequences. When you began implementing some of the suggestions in your public speaking class, you found your students more engaged than before… Therefore you begrudgingly left a plate of your famous cookies outside his office door one day; not as a thank you… but a peace offering.
By the time the end of October rolled around, it was time for your annual semester teaching observation. Somehow, someway, Steve was “assigned” to be your observer to provide feedback on your teaching. You nearly spat your coffee out in front of all the freshmen in your public speaking class when you caught sight of him at the back of the lecture hall. You’d known you were being observed that day, but assumed it’d be the usual colleague, John, to watch as he had the previous fall semesters.
Fucking wrong.
You recovered as well as you could, forcing yourself to lock-in on the students and the material, and avoid looking at Steve at all costs. Your students didn’t seem to find anything off, and some of them were distracted by Steve himself (he was incredibly attractive), so with ten minutes left in the class you decided to let the kids go early. A treat for getting all their topics for persuasive speeches approved, and outlines roughly drafted. As you gathered your items, you expected to see a somewhat cocky Dr. Steve Rogers when you looked up, but instead the classroom was empty. You frowned, a little disappointed at missing trading jabs with him, when your phone buzzed. Clicking the notification, your email app popped open, and your inbox lit up with one new message from Dr. Steven Rogers.
Let's chat about my observations from your class tomorrow morning. Campus lake trailhead, don’t be late. —S.G.R
Your eyebrows furrowed. You didn’t work on campus on Thursdays, and therefore had gotten into the habit of hanging out inside; especially as the weather began to grow cooler. Not only that, you’d taken refuge inside your apartment, barely leaving unless for appointments or to grocery shop. Basically to go to any space where you didn’t have to worry about accidentally stepping in a fucking fae circle! Part of you wanted to tell him to shove it (politely of course, he was still her superior, technically) whereas the other part was curious as to why he couldn’t stick around and chat seeing as how you had the minutes left in the class time slot that y’all could have talked; therefore you wanted to go.
Stealing your nerves, and expecting for there to be a level of professionalism that should transcend the weird game of cat and mouse y’all had going on, you responded with a simple “Okay, see you then”.
That night you tossed and turned, trying to (but failing) to fall asleep. Every time you grew close to falling over the edge of sleep, something would wake you up. Sometimes it was a feather light touch, or a whisper of something you couldn’t understand but a voice you knew. Finally, at five a.m, you sat up and swung your legs over the side of your bed, pressing them into the floor while you bent over and cradled your head in your hands. Might as well start the day, you thought ruefully, stumbling to the bathroom and turning on the shower. All you had to do was get dressed, meet with Steve, and then you could come back to the apartment and collapse for a nap. A long, well deserved, fucking nap.
It was around 7:30 a.m. when you arrived at Campus Lake. Dressed in your favorite fall fit (and boots, an emphasis to show you were here to chat not work out) you begrudgingly got out of the warmth of your car, immediately tucking your chin down further into your scarf. It wasn’t alarmingly cold (yet) but the chill of autumn was quickly being chased by the freezing cold of winter. Tucking a small notepad and pen into your jacket pocket, and rubbing your gloved hands together, you made your way toward the trailhead of the lake. The sooner this meeting was done, the better.
“Good morning, mo ghra.” You’d been staring out at the water, at how a fine mist had begun moving across the surface, reminding you of scenes from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Turning, you bit back a gasp of surprise, as the glamour you had gotten so used to seeing was dropped, and there stood Steve Rogers in all his fae glory. His lips were curled into a warm smile that made your heart skip a beat, his stormy gaze full of tenderness. “G-good morning, Steve. I, uh, guess we should get this show on the road.” You murmured, rubbing your hands together, trying to bring warmth to your fingers (damn cheap gloves). Steve held out a hand toward you and, when you paused, tilted his head almost…predatorily as a small smirk replaced his smile. “I won’t bite, sunshine, I promise.” He teased, and taking a breath you slipped your hand into his.
His hand radiated warmth through the fabric of your glove, and you swallowed the sigh of comfort that threatened to escape. You simply let him lead the way, the effects of not sleeping well (or at all), kept you preoccupied (you really didn’t want to fall asleep while talking to him, so you focused on forcing any yawns down). So lost in your own world, you hadn’t noticed him leading you off the trail and into the woods, not until he came to a stop. “Good morning, solynshka.” Bucky purred, standing up from his position on the blanket. You blinked, hazy, confused, at what was before you. A veritable breakfast feast laid out on a very soft looking green blanket, with fruits shining and the aroma of fresh bread wafting in the air mixing with a variety of breakfast meats. Swallowing hard, you looked to Steve, then Bucky, then Steve again before settling on Bucky with confusion in your eyes. “Uh, good morning, Bucky… I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand what’s going on.” You fought back a yawn at the end of your sentence, using your free hand to gently pinch the bridge of your nose. Steve and Bucky looked at each other and smiled softly before nodding. Steve gently tugged you closer to the blanket, rubbing his thumb over the back of your knuckles. “You’ve been working so hard recently, we wanted to surprise you. Of course I do want to discuss observations from yesterday but… Well, we’d much rather take care of you, mo ghra.” You glanced up at Steve, and inhaled sharply when you felt an arm snake around your waist. Bucky pressed his lips to the crown of your head, the touch warming you from the inside out. Their scents surrounded you—the spice of patchouli and the freshness of crisp apples wrapping around you—made a soft whimper fall from your lips. Your brain felt fuzzy, and you wanted nothing more than to curl up on the soft looking picnic blanket and be taken care of.
“Come now, solynshka, let's sit down.” Steve let go of your hand to let Bucky guide you onto the blanket. Bucky grinned when you gasped in surprise as he pulled you into his lap, settling you between his legs so you could lean back against him. “B-Bucky I can sit on my own.” You argued, trying to be firm and pull yourself out of the haze you were in. You tried to squirm out of his lap, but an arm around your middle kept you firmly against him. “I know sunny, you’re capable of anything you put your mind to, so let us take care of you.” He whispered in your ear, and you shivered at the feeling of his breath fanning across your neck and shell of your ear. Steve smiled, a bright smile that could make the sun jealous, as he sat across from you with a cup filled with something steaming that smelled delicious. Your throat felt so dry suddenly, and when he offered the cup to you, you took it. Your mouth watered as you raised it to your lips, and you paused, looking at Steve. He smiled encouragingly, his eyes still full of that tenderness you glimpsed earlier, and you thought what the hell. Tipping the cup back, you sipped the warm liquid. Flavors burst across your tastebuds and you groaned, earning a chuckle from both men. Warmth spread down your throat, throughout your chest, and you swore you felt it down to the soles of your feet.
“What is this?” You asked, passing the now empty cup back to Steve. “It’s cider, made from an old recipe from home.” He replied, in which you hummed in acknowledgment as he refilled your cup before handing it back. Then he gave Bucky one before pouring himself a cup as well. “A toast, to new beginnings.” He grinned, and Bucky grinned at him over your head as you gently clinked the cup with Steve and Bucky’s, the meaning flying over your head. The cider made you hum with delight, your body feeling warm and almost floaty. When you finished your second cup, Bucky suggested trying the fresh bread with homemade jam, which at the indication of your growling stomach you agreed enthusiastically. Then Steve offered you a couple pieces of bacon that looked better than any you’d ever cooked, which you gratefully ate. As the three of you ate quietly, you felt an odd sensation come over you. “Feeling better, mo ghra?” Steve’s voice was like honey, dripping down your spine. “Mhmm.” You hummed, leaning back against Bucky’s chest. “Told you we would finish what we started, solynshka.” Bucky murmured, lips caressing your temple.
A moment of clarity hit you like a freight train, the sound of your grandfather’s voice echoed in your mind as you felt your heart rate speed up. If you eat their food, or drink their drinks, then wave goodbye to the mortal plane- because you’ll be off to a new realm… The lack of sleep combined with the voices (their voices) waking you up on the cusp of slumber, images of their eyes when you closed yours, the feather light touches that sent you shooting up in bed… it was all them. And this had been one big ploy to get you. “You gave me fae food.” You whispered, looking into Steve’s eyes. The glamour had long been dropped, and his eyes seemed to glow brighter than they ever had before. “Yes, we did, mo ghra.” He was closer now, hand caressing your cheek. Your eyes fluttered shut as you leaned into his touch, his palm warm against your cool skin.
“Why?” Steve caught the tear that rolled down your cheek, and sighed, leaning forward to press his lips to your forehead. “I think you know the reason, mo ghra.” You shook your head, pulling from his touch, scrambling out of Bucky’s lap to put distance between yourself and the two. You rubbed a hand down your face, trying desperately to wake yourself up, to bring yourself to your senses as the magic in the food began sinking into your bones. Why would they do this now? Why get so close in the first place? “We just want to take care of you, sunshine.” Your eyes snapped open, eyes glancing to Bucky and his golden and blue eyes, then to Steve who smiled in pride. You had met them before, damn it, and it had taken you so fucking long to realize from where. God, you felt like such an idiot. “Wicklow. It was you two in that portal in Wicklow, last spring when I was visiting Ireland.” Your breaths came out sharper now. “Yes, Wicklow, sunshine.” Steve affirmed. Red hot anger shot through you as your eyes watered, and you stood to your feet as you glared at them. “So this is for what? Because I escaped? Because I didn’t fall for your trap? Why integrate yourselves in my life, why act like you care, especially now?”
“Because you're ours, solynshka.” Bucky growled, standing up and stepping towards you. You stepped back, partly in shock, partly in fear of his anger. “Only a mate can see past the glamour of another fae.” Steve said, and your eyes snapped toward him, looking into his stormy gaze. “Mate?” Your eyebrows furrowed. “Yes sweet girl, mate, our missing piece.” Bucky was standing before you now, moving faster than you could have thought, and resting his hands on your hips. You inhaled sharply, swallowing harshly as what felt like electricity shot through you. Steve stood up as well, and Bucky spun you around to face him, keeping his arms wrapped around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. Everything was moving so fast, and yet the world fell away as Steve spoke. “We’ve been searching for you for centuries, mo ghra. You have no idea how much you make us feel.” Steve’s voice was husky, his hand cupping your jaw and tilting your chin upward to look into your eyes. “Then show me.” You challenged inhibitions falling away. Steve’s grin was nearly feral as both of his hands cupped your cheeks before capturing your lips, and breath, in a fierce kiss.
It felt like sparks.
Bucky let go of you as you wrapped your arms around Steve’s neck, his hands quickly pulling you to his chest, pressing you as close to him as possible, gasping when he nipped your bottom lip and licked into your mouth. You forced yourself to pull back so you could catch your breath, feeling light headed, your body flush and wanting more. “My turn, punk.” Bucky’s voice was light and teasing as you were suddenly spun around, Bucky’s hands cradling your face. The rings of gold around his baby blues held you captivated. “My little sun.” He grinned, before gently pressing his lips to yours. You tilted your chin up to deepen the kiss, gladly opening when he licked the seam of your lips. You held on to the lapels of his jacket as he claimed your mouth, tongue caressing yours and pulling moans from your throat. “I think we better take this home, don’t you, Buck?” Your eyes were dilated, your body feeling both light as a feather but suddenly heavy as lead. “I couldn’t agree more, Stevie. Our little sun needs to rest before tonight’s activities.” Steve grinned and swept you into his arms, bridal style. You squeaked and grabbed onto him so as not to fall. You felt so sleepy all of a sudden, and couldn’t help but yawn as you rested your head against Steve’s shoulder. He hummed in content, nodding to Bucky. In the blink of an eye, the blanket and picnic were gone… All that was left was a careful circular formation of stones.
SORRY I'M LATE! These come around so fast each week 😅 I really need a better system! I haven't read nearly as much as usual this week, I've been away with work for 3 days so it's eaten into my routine a little and I feel super disorganised and erratic. Ahh well, we ball.
Always remember to heed the warnings posted by the individual authors. What I'm happy to read may not be what you're happy to read, so I take no responsibility if you find something you're not into.
And finally, Tumblr is a community. Reblog, gush like you've never gushed before - I promise you, the authors below will love it, and love you for it! We write because we love to, but we share our work because we love the community of it. If you read something you like, let the world know! 💕
The List
One of my mini-series The Menu well and truly exploded this week, I'm talking like 100 followers in just over a week exploded. It's insane and wonderful and I'm really so proud 🥰 By the time you see this, there will have been three chapters posted this week. It's all I've worked on! It means For Your Consideration has been a little neglected, but I'm going to be allll over that in the next few days! I'm also completely self-indulgently writing a little Chris Beck fic so look out for that!
Onto the reading...
Bucky Barnes
First up is The Trouble with Saturdays by wonderful @vunblr. The pining! The argument with John! The tracksuit! I am SQUEALING!
Fake it Til You Break My Heart by @angellily920 is off to a super start, I can't wait to read more!
Different, This Time by @marvelstoriesepic - I could literally recommend their entire Masterlist tbh. A genius! This is a Part 2 to In Too Deep, which I can't believe I forgot to reblog sooner. These are both EXTRAORDINARY. Heated, intimate, and breathtakingly beautiful.
Sharp Dressed Man by @navybrat817 - just... need. All of him. Forever. Perfection!
Flame and melody by @daxisyzz - beautiful, lyrical, magical. I adore this 💕
Pregnancy Scare by @maevedoodle was super sweet, I love everyone looking out for each other. God I'm such a sucker for found family!
DECLASSIFIED CHAPTER FOUR by @dreamwritesimagines. This fic is literally crack. I cannot get enough, I jump on every notification for crumbs and snippets. I never want this to end!
The Zipper by @mrsbarnesblog is insanely, ridiculously, gloriously hot and I need it injecting into my veins please and thank you.
Pinned Down by @lolab4t - Oooh I love sparring Bucky so much 🥵🥵 This was yummy!!!
Neighbourly Advice by @firingstars is a super cute series, I love the additional characters and the premise 💕
Jealous Bucky by @fanficgirl429 - I loved this so much. So sweet 😭
Best Gift by @societyfolklore - so beautiful and sweet, the absolute peak of domestic fluff. Adore 😘
Leaked by @leighlalouu - this was so good! Quick and sharp. Excellent!
Overheard by @alisonsfics - phewww, this was hot! I am not your strongest soldier, I would be tripping over myself to offer a hand 👀 I'm off to read your whole masterlist....
Wife Speak by @tallaennatargaryen - so cute, so domestic. I loved this so much, really funny - her game is strong!
John Walker (I know... I don't know, I just needed to read it, ok?!)
A black eye and two kisses by @swordgrace - the only John Walker fic I've read so far and ... kinda won't be the last?! This was chef's kiss!!
More amazing stories written by amazing people 🤎✨🕯️💫🌹🪐🍂😊🤎🥺
If anyone would rather not be apart of this list please let me know & I'll edit it.
Part One
@inkdrinkerworld
courting: Bucky is a man from a different time. It shows when you start ‘going steady’ and honestly, you love it. Alternatively; Bucky uses 40’s dating etiquette to woo you, and surprises you with a modern turn of phrase.
@buckyalpine
Bucky can't lie: A smutty thot. Imagine the avengers fucking around with a lie detector test, testing how well the super soldiers were trained. Steve failed instantly while stating his own name, blushing from embarrassment. Bucky was shoved into the chair next.
@howiswhatawhy
Dive: college athlete! fuckboy(?)! bucky x tutor! Reader
@mrs-elsie-barnes
5 Times You Are Not Dating Bucky Barnes (and the one time you are)
@azaleassence
Party 4 u
@alisonsfics
you are my sunshine: a team bonding day is just what the thunderbolts need after a string of rough missions. you set aside all your other stress and make one goal for the day: get bucky to finally kiss you.
@orellazalonia
Even if You Forget: After a mission gone wrong, Bucky loses all memory of his relationship with you. Though heartbroken, you patiently stay by his side, offering gentle support and quiet company. Despite the emotional distance, you hold onto the hope that someday he’ll find his way back.
@cherdior
Till' Death Do Us Part: Even after your death, he continues to love you, so you stayed. You watch him fill the silence with old conversations, clinging to what used to be. But tonight, you finally ask him to let you go.
@jobean12-blog
In Your Arms: Bucky's been away on a mission and when he returns, you're all he wants.
@writingunderneathawillow
Blue Valentine: the four times bucky makes you cry + the one time you make him cry
@vividxpages
You, Forever: Bucky thinks if he gives this whole congressman thing some more months, he’ll might be okay with this new kind of lifestyle. Everything for the mission, right? But he just can’t bring himself to accept the fact that he keeps missing out on the evenings with you.
@lolab4t
Off Duty
Part One: after a rare night off, you stumble back into avengers tower at 2 am.. tipsy, feet hurting, and definitely not expecting to run into bucky barnes on the couch.
Part Two: days after the tipsy night on the couch, you’re left wondering what it meant… especially with bucky acting infuriatingly normal. the tension leads to a steamy exchange between the two, where bucky seems to let go of his gentleman manners for a bit.
@bcksgirl
helping bucky practice kissing leads to a whole lot more (SMUT)
@bcksbarnes
Flowers in Hand: unfortunately for bucky barnes, he is head over heels in love with you, and when you want something, it doesn't take much convincing.
Traces of a Lonely World: bucky's job takes him away from you more that he cares to admit. most of the times you can understand, but there are some nights it tears you apart.
Have I Found You: you and bucky are in the beginning stages of your relationship and get caught in a rainstorm
@magicaloneandmystery
Blush: the five times Bucky made you blush and the one time you did.
@fanficgirl429
Y/N admits to Bucky that she has feelings for him
@navybrat817
Don't Look or Touch: Bucky isn’t having a good day and John suffers the consequences
@thunderbolt-ing
"I Can't Do it Alone": Who would've thought that you tearing panelists apart with merely your sharp words would land you a job? Or, better yet, here's how you became Congressman Barnes' legislative aide.
@featherandferns
You or Nothing: when the Thunderbolts enter the void, Bucky goes missing. You take it upon yourself to find him, venturing into his deepest pockets of his shame.
@bruisedboys
bucky flirts with his shy secretary (fem!reader)
@artficlly
the art of pretending: being mentored by bucky is nothing short of torture; he’s cold, infuriating, and impossible to please. but when a mission gone wrong leaves you stranded in a freezing safehouse together, you start to wonder if all that supposed hatred has just been hiding something else entirely. (SMUT)
@midnightquips
Chaos: You and Bucky are involved in a friends with benefits situation. But when feelings start to creep in, you’re not quite sure if this situation is the best for you anymore.
@the-winter-spider
Pink Skies: He left, and the world didn’t end but something in you did. What followed wasn’t healing, not at first, just presence, patience, and hands that never let go.
@marvelstoriesepic
If you asked me now: Years after separating for college, you reunite with Bucky while coincidentally working the same wedding.
Still on the list: Frat!College!Bucky x College!Reader - Bucky Barnes, the infamous frat guy, known for sleeping around and throwing parties left and right, constantly invites you, out of all people, to all of them. His intentions though remain a mystery to you. Following a troubling event that leaves you shaken and anxious, Bucky is there to pick up the pieces. Stolen glances and exchanged smiles gradually blossom into a connection that goes beyond what meets the eye.
Powdered Sugar: childhood best friend fuckboy!Bucky x hopeless romantic!Reader - Your friend group is having a night out at the local carnival. Bucky is his charming self and you are tired of pretending it doesn’t affect you.
Creamy and Crunchy: Bucky joins you grocery shopping to everyone’s surprise.
Like he means it: You can’t take another night of hearing Bucky fuck a girl who isn’t you.
Weakness: You use Bucky’s only weakness to your advantage until it bites you in the ass.
@delusionalwriterr
Gym Buddy: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Reader. You have a hard time keeping your eyes off of your gym crush.
@sinner-as-saint
stick to me, like caramel: Sergeant Barnes has retired, and moved as far away as possible from the superhero life. He’s still in touch with some of his friends, but he never asks them to visit. Nor does he ever leave the quaint, warm small town he’s found himself in, or the spacious home he has, nestled between mountains and dense pine woods. Bucky lives a quiet life, away from danger, guns and bullets, aliens and wizards, and all the other noises. He likes it here. It’s calm, nice, and quiet. Nothing stresses him out, nothing bothers him. Nothing, except a certain neighbour of his. She torments him, in the best ways. And Bucky’s not sure how long he can resist her. (SMUT)
@world-of-aus
Hot Shot: NHL!Photographer!Reader x Hockey Player!Bucky
@marvelwitchergilmore
Anchor: Bucky is there for you when no-one else is.
Late Nights: Bucky talks to you after you have a nightmare.
Something More: Since you met Bucky, he's always looked at you with...something more. And you never knew why. One day, you finally find out what he means by it.
@wkemeup
Flight Risk: Bucky becomes a flight risk after a failed mission and is put in lockup under Steve’s orders. Even though Bucky won’t say a word of what happened, you camp outside the door to his cell so he knows he isn’t alone.
@fawniswriting
Even Fallen Things: The story of a girl and her fallen flowers, as well as a boy who can't seem to forget either of them.
After I Was Too Late: The three times Bucky saved your life, and the one time you save each other.
Before I Could Say It: The three times Bucky almost confessed his love to you, and the one time he finally does.
@pellucid-constellations
Are You Bored Yet?: College!Bucky x Tutor!Reader - God, you hated Bucky. Bucky probably hated you, too. Maybe. It was hard to tell when he was drunk and calling you pretty at a party you shouldn't have gone to.
@msmarvelwrites
Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of: “ You had been an empath for as long as you could remember. But still, there were days more frequently than not that you wished you could turn it all off. ”
@cheekybarnes
The Shape of Life: You didn’t plan to become a guardian overnight—and you never planned to ask Bucky for help. He wants a future you’re not sure you believe in, and now you’re both standing at the edge of it, trying to decide what comes next.
A Place to Land: After a night out goes violently wrong, you call Bucky—without knowing what you’re even asking for. He shows up anyway, staying long after the worst of it, until you finally start to believe you’re safe.
Hold Fast: A winter mission goes sideways, forcing you to cross a frozen lake under fire. The ice doesn’t hold—and when you go under, Bucky is the only thing between you and the dark.
@waternilly
"Pick You Up at Seven?": Almost two weeks after meeting Bucky, he finally asks you out to a proper date.
@skaye44
Migraine: You suffer from migraines. You haven't had one in a while so you go out shopping with Wanda and Nat only for one to start when you are halfway done. You ask Bucky to come and get you, so he drops everything and does, leading to some TLC he gives you while you rest and recover.
@helaintoloki
Misunderstanding: you accept Bucky’s invitation to attend Tony’s charity gala as his date, but your night quickly turns sour when you find out about his bet with Natasha
after accidentally sending yourself back in time, you run into a younger version of the man you loathe only to find yourself questioning your feelings for him
Somethin' Stupid
Part One: a drunken confession spoils a perfectly good evening
Part Two: being forced to go on a mission together allows bucky and y/n to come to an understanding
@maemae2998
Behind Closed Doors: Military Officer Bucky AU (SMUT)
@thedevilsoftruth
gorgeous and cinnamon: A cute date with the hotie you met online turns into a night of him fucking your brains out after you open up to him about a certain " fella " who did you wrong. (SMUT)
@daxisyzz
Pretty Please: Bucky Barnes is hopelessly in love with you. He gives you everything you ask for—until you stop asking. That’s when he decides to give you the one thing you never say aloud.
@writingunderneathawillow
Dozed Off
@imtryingbuck
Timeless Love: Bucky might have met the love of his life in the middle of a war, he just wished he was able to live a life with her.
@mandoalorian
Under His Claim: Congressman!Bucky Barnes x Personal Assistant!Reader - After a heated confrontation with Ethan, Bucky can’t hold back any longer. His possessive instincts take over when he returns to the safe house. Bucky makes it clear that you are his—now and forever. (SMUT)
The Cost of Freedom: Bucky thought he could outrun his past, but HYDRA always finds a way to drag him back. A confrontation with Ross reveals a chilling ultimatum—become the Winter Soldier again, or lose everything. When Bucky races back to your apartment, it’s already too late. You’re gone, leaving only an unmade bed and the echoes of a fight you never saw coming.
@aquaticmercy
The Congressman’s Secretary: Bucky forgets his birthday. You, his secretary, remember.
Sanctuary: Bucky needs to vent, and you’re there to listen. One day, you both try a powerful sex magic ritual that blurs the line between healing and love.
Better Man: Trapped in an abusive relationship, you cross paths with Bucky Barnes. Maybe, you deserve a second chance at love.
Princess: You fall for Bucky Barnes, the Avenger assigned as your bodyguard. When a photo of the two of you kissing leaks to the tabloids, your clients start questioning your company’s integrity.
@malum-forev
Eyes, They Never Lie: Sam and Bucky try to recruit (Y/N), Bucky's ex and a former Avenger who has left that life behind. But they realize her life has changed completely once they meet a her daughter with striking blue eyes.
@appocalipse
The Same Thing: during a mission, you put yourself in harm's way to protect bucky. back at the avengers compound, he wants to know why.
@itsalliny0urhead
Let Me Stay: Bucky doesn’t ask for help. He never says he needs you. But when the nightmares hit, you’re the only one who can reach him. In the silence of the early hours, you hold him through the shaking, the memories, the guilt. He says he doesn’t deserve love — but you stay anyway. Because he’s yours. And you’ve never needed him to be perfect — only real.
@levanswrites
In the mood: He tells himself it’s fine. Gotta keep moving—bigger things to do, too many items on his list. His libido doesn’t even crack the top ten. Until he met… you.
@moonlitdesertdreams
the beach: Post CATWS, you and Bucky have found temporary refuge somewhere warm and tropical. Now, you both enjoy an early morning on the beach.
@vunblr
Crumbs of Connection: When Bucky wanders into a quirky late-night bakery, he doesn’t expect the warmhearted owner to challenge his defenses.
@ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes
An (Almost) Unheard Confession
@reverieblondie
Book Club: Working at a library and at times be boring... but what happens when one of your regulars wants to make a book club? Just you and him? (SMUT)
I'm excited to get this started! Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year, so I just had to participate in a writing challenge this year. ☃︎𓏲
The original post to the writing challenge by @whumpcember 🩵
I know I still have a few - a whole lot - open projects I definitely should attend to but this is something I’ve been looking forward to and I’ll be trying my best to get to the rest in a timely manner.
Also, I don’t know how many prompts I will write for this month.
I already participated in two writing challenges in October but unfortunately didn’t manage to achieve everything I've had planned.
So, let’s see where this takes me. 𖠰 ⊹ᨒ↟ 𖠰
Note: Every fic will have their own warnings. I only write for Bucky Barnes. I write with a female reader in mind. I do not consent my work to getting republished.
𐂂 Prompt 5: Concussion
𐂂 Prompt 7: Kidnapped
𐂂 Prompt 12: I have nowhere else to go
𐂂 Prompt 15: Broken glass
𐂂 Prompt 18: Poisoned
𐂂 Prompt 27: Hypothermia
“The beauty of winter captures my soul, wild and raging, belovingly cold.”
A/N: Extremely long headcanon for the Wriothesley simps. I’d consider this SFW because smut part is not too detailed. Inspired by this post.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley is downright intimidating with a commanding presence. You are skeptical of your parents’ choice, especially about choosing an ex-Duke for your bodyguard. You have absolutely no idea how they convinced him, but you have been assured nonetheless he will be extremely capable of protecting you.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley kept his introduction short. “Wriothesley. A pleasure to be working for you, mademoiselle.” He says he’s a former prison warden who decided to change his line of work because he wants to enjoy basking under the sun. And as it seems, being the bodyguard of an illustrious noble, who unfortunately has a lot of malicious eyes on her, is just perfect.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley whose frame is much bigger than yours, only adds to your worries. You are well aware that a form like his comes with the requirements, but whenever he towers over you while surveying your surroundings, you’re just glad he’s on your side and not the enemy’s.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley is diligent even when he’s on a break. You had the chance to observe him train - swift jabs, taut muscles, body sweaty, and breathing heavy from the intensity of his routine. Your bodyguard throws in one more punch and the training dummy is instantly frozen and covered in ice.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley who notices your presence and throws a smile your way. Your heart instantly drops and you turn around to leave. Once you’re far enough, you press your back against a wall to steady yourself, well-aware of hard your heart is pounding now. It’s because he caught you, that’s why. Yeah. That’s it.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley who is always behind you even when you do your shopping. Other nobles and Fontainians end up staring. All sorts of rumors naturally come up from him being your lover to him holding you hostage.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley is always instantly in front of you with a protective hand hovering over your frame whenever someone approaches you, even a kid. He knows you’re thinking how over-the-top that is, but he only replies with, “You can never be too careful.”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley becomes furious when he realizes the dirty tricks of your enemies. One goon attempted to throw a whole bottle of primordial seawater your way, and your bodyguard is quick with his reflexes, pulling you behind him and punching a straight to hit the bottle and freeze the contents which eventually break into as ice on the floor.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley sets his eyes on the perpetrator and sprints with a speed you didn’t he was capable of. He catches the assassin in no time, easily pinning the enemy on the ground like a rag doll.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley who handcuffs the culprit and drags them to the Gardes and reports the crime committed. They comment how he still acts like the Duke and he just says, “Nah, I’m a bodyguard now.”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley who you notice has a wound just below his eye, some glass shards must have cut him when he broke the bottle. You sit him down to dress the wound despite his protests of, “It’s just a scratch.” But a wound is a wound and it can become serious if it gets infected.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley has his eyes trained on you as work. You will yourself not to get affected and focus on your task, even though your hands are starting to shake and you feel your ears getting red.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley unfortunately notices you and holds your hand still. “Relax.” He smiles, but that only does the opposite. Way to give yourself away. He must know by now how much he affects you.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley allows you to continue once you’ve gathered yourself. You inspect his face further to check if there are other wounds, only to end up tracing the scar under his other eye.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley utters, “Underwater sea monster.” And you have a puzzled look on your face. You proceed to trace the scars on his neck, and he whispers, “Also underwater sea monster.” Your fingers move to his forearms and his gaze follows. “All of these are from an underwater sea monster.” And you direct your gaze at him, sensing jest in his words.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley laughs, canines showing after he tells you, “Hah, just kidding!” You look at him incredulously. “If you can joke around like that, then you must be all right!” You say as a cover up, when in truth your heart is already hammering against your chest at your close proximity with him.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley holds your wrist to keep you in place and look you in the eyes. “Thank you.” He says smiling softly at you, and you cannot hold back anymore so you lean in to press a kiss on his cheek, underneath the wound you treated.
Bodyguard!Wriostheley is frozen at your actions, a surprised look on his face. “I’m the one who should be thanking you.” You can feel your face heating up and you avoid his eyes. “Just doing my job.” He says, his expression unreadable. You suddenly hope the ground to swallow you whole, thinking that you might have gone overboard.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley accompanies you to a ball organized by the hydro archon. You are one of the honored guests for your contribution to Fontaine’s technology, and naturally you have several eyes on you. Your bodyguard is hyper-focused, scanning everything and never letting anything get past him, even though you told him to enjoy the night.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley is immediately shielding you with his body when he sees a man approach you. “Mademoiselle, I was just hoping to ask you for a dance.” The man, seemingly an aristocrat from abroad, says as his mouth forms in what seems to be disgust. “And I would appreciate it if you could tell your guard dog to stand down.” You grit your teeth at the insult and you step forward, ready to defend your bodyguard’s honor. “How dare you—”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley who raises a protective hand over you, interjects in a dangerous tone. “That’s right, I’m her guard dog. And if you try anything funny, I will not hesitate to maul you to pieces, so bad, that no one else will be able to recognize you.” He naturally looms over the noble, who now seems to be cowering in fear. “Tch, whatever. You’ll pay for threatening me!”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley crosses his arms in amusement, taunting the other man further. “Heh, so you have a reason to be threatened then?” The noble retreats but leaves with a warning, “We’re not done!”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley whose eyes immediately soften when he turns his attention to you. Your hands wrapping around his arm to remind him not to cause a scene, especially not in front of Furina. “Are you all right?” His voice is full of concern as he turns his body to you to block your view of the man who disturbed you. “You shouldn’t have let him call you that.” You sigh in irritation.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley merely chuckles at your words. “That’s the only sensical thing he said. I don’t mind being called your guard dog. I’m entirely loyal to you, after all.” He declares as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. You lightly hit his arm, your face heating up. You hope he would stop teasing you in such a crowded place.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley is quick to snatch the champagne glass from your hand and shatter it on the ground, startling several guests and catching the attention of the hydro archon. But everyone witnesses how the liquid fizzles and dissolves a part of the wooden floor. “Attempted murder!” Furina gushes and orders everyone to stay put.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley throws a dangerous look at the direction of the man, who responds with a contemptuous gaze before slipping away successfully. Your bodyguard scowls, but ensures to stay with you for now to keep you safe from any other attempts that may occur.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley places his coat around your shoulders as he escorts you home. You can’t help but cry from what transpired: the near-death experience, the embarrassment of causing a scene, and the fear that some organization wants you dead all come crashing at you.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley guides your head slowly to his chest, silently telling you to go ahead and release the pent up emotions you have. The gentle strokes on your hair only pushes you to cry out further, but the thumb wiping away your tears and the warm lips on your forehead eventually calm you down.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley carries your tired, sleeping form to your room. He slowly sets you down on your bed and then ensures everything is secure before leaving you to rest.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley peers over your shoulder as you read the paper from the Steambird one morning. The gigantic headline is no doubt the talk of the town and will be sensational for a while. “Assassin who attempted murder on the renowned Fontainian noble, arrested!”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley is smug, yet you notice the dark circles under his eyes. You proceed to read the paper indicating how the headquarters of your enemy has been infiltrated, all lackeys including the mastermind beaten to a pulp, and a recorder containing a narrative of all their crimes, including their location was conveniently sent to the Chief Justice’s office. Before the crack of dawn, the entire organization has been taken down and each member has been sent directly to the Fortress of Meropide.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley is obviously feigning innocence as he sips his morning tea. “Yes, mademoiselle?” You keep staring at him without a word, your silence a clear indication that you know who’s responsible for everything. He grabs the newspaper then proceeds to cover his face by spreading out the pages. “They made you cry.”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley is probably resting after pulling off his agenda. He deserves it, yet you pace back and forth in front of his door because sleep decided to evade you that night. You’re worried he’s gotten hurt so you contemplate on whether to knock or not, afraid you might disturb him.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley opens the door suddenly that you ended up squealing. “Did you know I’m here?” You ask, noting how he’s dressed down with a sleeveless shirt that perfectly shows off his sculpted arms and a pair soft slacks. “It’s hard to ignore your footsteps.” He says, voice raspy and he rubs the sleep away from his eyes. You feel guilty now that you find out you did disturb him. “Sorry.”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley chuckles quietly at you. “Did you need anything?” He asked and you are prompted why you are there in the first place. “I wanted to check if you’re all right. I can’t sleep unless I know how you’re doing.” He blinks at your words and grins. “I’m all right, mademoiselle. Please go to sleep. It’s improper for a lady to be in front of a man’s room at this time of night.”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley only ruffles his hair when he sees you with determined eyes. It seems like you won’t believe him when he tells you he is unscathed. “I still want to see.” He sighs and lets you in. “Go ahead, check.”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley unabashedly pulls his shirt over his head and turns his back on you. Your heart instantly goes haywire, but you’re the one who wanted to find out that he’s all right, so you step forward to inspect him for fresh wounds.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley twitches when your fingers make contact with his skin. “Does it hurt?” You ask immediately pulling your hand away. “No, I’m just…Does that put your mind at ease?” He asks, turning away. His ears have begun to turn red. “Not yet. Turn around.” You say but he remains still as if he didn’t hear you.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley flinches when you repeat your words, but obediently does as he’s told. His eyes are cast to the side when you pull the shirt away from his torso. No new wounds nor bruises anywhere, just old scars. You end up tracing the ones on his neck that extends down his chest before your palm presses over his heart. Ah, so it’s beating just as hard as yours.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley holds your hand, his skin flushed. “I told you I’m all right.” He states in a low voice and you nod in agreement. “Will you be able to sleep now?” He asks as he turns away and puts his shirt back on. “I’m not sleepy.” Your eyes are on the ground, head a bit dizzy from how everything seemed to have gotten warmer than usual.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley tells you to sit down, and you watch as he brews you tea. “This helps me calm my nerves whenever my adrenaline is high.” He sets down a cup in front of you and watch as the steam rises from it. It smells nice. It was only then that you then notice the variety of blends that he has on his cupboard.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley stays up with you until you yawn and express that the tea worked. “It’s time for you to sleep.” He says and you agree. He follows you thinking you’ll be walking to the door, but you plop down on his bed and he panics. “You are going to get me in trouble, mademoiselle.” He states as he kneels down on the bed, preparing to carry you to your room.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley almost crashes on top of you when you lock your arms around his neck. “Your bed smells just like you.” You murmur and he doesn’t know what to do anymore. “Please, let’s get you back to your room.” You turn your body to the side in protest. You hear him sigh and he leaves you alone. You roll over only to see him walking toward the couch.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley finally sighs in defeat when you forcefully try squeeze in with him on his couch, which barely accommodates you and him. His arms are in the air as he watches you make yourself comfortable by throwing an arm over his waist and settling your head under his chin and against his chest. “Mademoiselle, I’m not a good man, you know.” You barely register what he said and before you succumbed to sleep, you respond, “Ironically, that’s what a good man would say.”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley couldn’t decide whether he had the best sleep or the worst. Your body is against his, every soft bump and every curve within his reach. His hands have settled on the back of your head and on the small of your back, the scent of your shampoo is intoxicating him.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley watches you sip the same morning tea as his. Your eyes are still half-closed as you lean against the counter, your warm drink lulling you to sleep instead of waking you up. You can feel the weight of your bodyguard’s eyes on you that it makes you feel overly conscious. “Sorry, did you not sleep well?”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley approaches you then pulls the teacup away from your grasp to place it on the table behind him. “Please forgive me for what I’m about to do.” He lifts you up then sets you down on the counter, his hand quickly settles under your jaw, his arm snakes around your waist, his crotch presses against your core, and his lips firmly slots on yours. He drinks you in and you respond with just as much fervor, your hands frantic on his nape and in his hair.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley has his lips on your jaw then proceeds to nibble on your neck. He moves your sweater to side and bites on your shoulder to leave a mark that you can’t help but moan directly in his ear. You feel him harden against you and that’s when you decided. “Bed, now.” You order him and his forehead drops on your shoulder, a heavy breath escaping him. You sense his hesitation so you crane his head up and kiss him again to coax him. “Are you sure?” He inquires against your lips, his hands now languidly rubbing your thighs. “Yes.”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley sets you down on his mattress and kisses you fervidly, only stopping to remove his clothes. In seconds, he has you bare underneath him and he spends his time worshipping every inch of your body, ensuring that he brings you pleasure again and again before he fully claims you as his. You whimper once he finally does, your lips chanting his name, and he has to remain patient to keep himself from hurting you. All the while he keeps pressing soft kisses on your face and neck as he whispers repeatedly how good you feel. He sends you over the edge several times until you and him are completely spent.
Bodyguard!Wriothesley asks you if you would take a walk at gardens of the Opera Epiclese with him. He says that it’s to clear your mind and to get a breath of fresh air. He rarely requests anything from you so you agree, much to his delight. He offers his arm and leads you to a fountain, away from citizens. “Mademoiselle,” He begins, uncharacteristically sounding nervous. It’s the first time he’s like this around you. “I asked your parents if I can protect you for the rest of my life.” You instantly come to a halt and remain rooted in your spot. “Do you mean…?”
Bodyguard!Wriothesley walks ahead of you then turns to face you, taking both of your hands in his before dropping down on one knee. “I asked for your hand in marriage.” You gasp as he reveals a box containing a beautiful diamond ring. “Will you allow me to keep protecting you?”
hi! i found your how to make dividers post but i’m still experiencing issues with how it appears on the desktop site…it looks fine on the app, but when i look it on the site, it’s just a thick block where you can’t see the gradient…i’ve literally tried so many dimensions and they all end up this way…i don’t suppose you have any ideas how to fix it?
Hi! I just checked out your blog and the dividers all look thin + with gradient to me (checking from desktop). I will say I made the divider post ages ago (in 2021...?) and tumblr has definitely gone through a lot of updates/changes since then (especially the editor). I've actually found that using jpeg format now works better (i guess something about pngs makes them thicken up on desktop) so that's what i've been using recently. I'll definitely go back and edit that in my tutorial - dimensions I use now with the jpeg files are 520 x 5. Hope this helps!
summary: in a world where soulmates are rare and precious, you don’t know why the universe has decided to give you one. you never could have imagined that they would be an idol, and one that you worked with at that, or the challenges that would arise from your bond.
chapter word count: 6.8k
chapter warnings: injury recovery, lots of emotions happening
a/n: no words can describe how difficult this chapter was to write haha i apologise for some of the transitions between scenes and also for the fact that i did not proofread more than a cursory skim.
i am not a doctor and i did minimal research on anything medical related
previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter | read it on ao3
Chan’s not a doctor and he’s never wanted to be one. But the longer that he spends in the hospital, the more he wishes there was something he could do to help. He knows that in a way, his presence is helping. The doctor tells him that for injuries, a soulmate bond is actually beneficial because the sufficient Charge can increase healing times.
The doctor also explains that the more serious injury is the initial stab wound. The blade had damaged Y/n’s liver, which had required surgery and now demands constant monitoring. It was the main reason that Y/n would have to stay in the hospital for an extended period of time. While the second wound was larger and required more stitches, it was fairly shallow and was expected to heal without any issues.
As expected, there’s various bruises from the fall, but what surprises Chan is that he’s told Y/n is suffering from a mild concussion. When he had watched the footage that he had saved from social media, he could see that Y/n may have hit her head, but it hadn’t seemed that hard.
It means that Chan hasn’t left the hospital yet. It doesn’t really help that Y/n was specifically brought to the hospital that her father owns and that she’s situated in one of the nicest rooms available. With a large private bathroom, a separate room that has a few couches and low tables to entertain guests, and a large bed that’s almost more comfortable than the one Chan has at home, there’s no reason to leave. Yonghwan has been going back to the dorms to collect clothes and other personal items, like Chan’s laptop and some equipment. After a few days, the boys are allowed to visit too, although only in small groups and for short periods of time.
Chan kind of hates the medications that Y/n is put on. He knows that she needs them to deal with the pain, to protect her from infection, it's just difficult to witness how they make her woozy and extremely tired, drifting in and out of consciousness. When she is awake, her thoughts are scattered, she can’t concentrate for long periods of time, and she spends most of the time watching Chan as he works or dozing.
It's a relief when she's finally weaned off of the ones that have the worst side effects.
Although she gets her phone back pretty soon after waking, Y/n doesn’t really touch it until her doctor lets her know that her concussion has healed and she’s been cleared to look at screens without any limitations. Although Chan has helped her with messaging some of her friends and family, she seems pleased to have full access to her phone again. Chan leaves her to catch up on everything, pulling out his laptop and pulling up a track that he’s been trying half-heartedly to finish a first draft of.
He gets pulled away from his work a couple hours later when Y/n calls his name. She’s biting at her lip and staring with a furrowed brow at something on her phone. He immediately sets aside his laptop and turns to face her, trying not to worry.
“What’s up?” he asks.
“Did you- I saw-” Y/n takes a second to gather herself and then flips her phone to show him what she’s looking at. It’s a Twitter fanpage, dedicated to Chan’s Bubble subscription. The last tweets are the updates to his profile picture, background photo, name, and status.
He did it in a fit of anger, knowing it was about as much as he could do without getting in trouble with the company. He wouldn’t dare send any messages about the incident, especially ones that could be twisted the wrong way and end up hurting Y/n, but he couldn’t just sit and pretend everything was okay.
So he deleted it all. Or, rather as much as he could. Replacing the pictures with solid black, leaving the status line empty. He didn’t have as much freedom with his name, but left it as “찬“ and nothing more. He hadn’t sent anything since then, either.
The other members hadn’t changed anything on their profile, but they too had been subdued in their messaging. The first couple of days, they did nothing. After that, Changbin, Jisung, and Felix joined Chan in the continued radio silence. Hyunjin had sent pictures of the sunset, when it was Y/n’s favourite time of the day and the clouds were painted pink against the blue background of the sky. Minho, Seungmin, and Jeongin had messaged only a couple times since then, reminders for Stays to eat well, get lots of rest, and stay safe.
There hadn’t been an official statement released by the company, but news of the incident had spread like wildfire.
“And yesterday was Sunday,” Y/n says slowly. “You were here the whole time, what about Channie’s Room?”
“What about it?”
“You didn’t do it?” When Chan just shrugs in response, Y/n’s brow creases like she’s trying to figure out some sort of puzzle. “What? But you… You always do it. Did the company tell you that you can't?”
“No, they didn't have to. I already let them know I wasn't going to."
"Then why?"
“I didn’t want to. I don’t want to,” Chan says sullenly, even though the explanation makes him feel like a toddler who doesn’t want to share their toys.
“What do you mean? It’s- You promised Stays! Here you can go now, just go to your studio and do a short live. If this is some sort of roundabout punishment for what happened-”
“I don’t want to,” Chan repeats. “All they’re going to do is spam the chat with questions about what happened. I don’t want to deal with that and honestly I don’t know if I can go through that without blowing up on them.”
"But-"
"Is it really so hard to believe that I have had other priorities the past few days? That I don't want to have to pretend that everything is okay?"
Y/n seems to soften at that. Chan reaches out and he catches her hand in his, mindful of the tape and IV that’s attached to it. The Charge warms between them.
“No, no, I’m sorry. It’s-” she hesitates for a moment. “I’m glad that you’re taking a break. Sorry if it felt like I was pressuring you.”
“You weren’t. Everything that I’m doing, it’s my decision. I know everything has been pretty overwhelming lately, but you’re-”
Before he can finish, the door to their room slides open and a nurse steps in to serve them dinner.
“What were you going to say?” Y/n asks once they’re alone again.
“I don’t remember anymore,” Chan lies. “So it probably wasn’t that important. Let’s eat.”
Chan’s almost glad for the interruption. The moment is gone now and Chan’s just now realising that he has no idea how Y/n would react if he had said what he wanted. That she was his biggest priority right now. That he cares about her. That he would do anything for her.
He’ll do that later, when they’re at home. When everything has calmed down.
—
Chan wakes to the loud smack of someone’s hand against a table. His face is burrowed into the soft fabric covering Y/n’s shoulder, his arm is wrapped around her waist, and the whole length of his body relaxed by the warm thrum of the charge. He cracks open one eye and, after seeing that neither Y/n nor Eunsung, who was the source of the noise, have seemed to notice, quickly closes it to feign sleep.
When Eunsung speaks, his tone is exasperated, like he’s had this conversation multiple times before.
“Are you even listening to yourself? You can’t keep doing this. You have to talk to him about it,” he insists. “The doctor said you have acute fatigue and the only reason it’s getting better is because the two of you are practically glued together right now. The second that he starts going back to schedules, it’s going to be the same as it was before.”
“I was doing fine before,” Y/n defends herself. “Things just got so busy with all the concerts, I forgot to eat enough. As long as I make sure that I’m getting enough calories, it makes up for the Charge. I promise, I'll make sure to take better care of myself."
Chan has no clue what they’re talking about. Acute fatigue? Y/n not eating enough? Chan hasn’t heard anything on these before.
"I don't think you understand. It's not about you doing things to take better care of yourself, it's about him not letting you take care of yourself. If you Charged for at least 6 hours a day then you wouldn't have to worry about eating more than you used to. You shouldn't have to be making up for anything," Eunsung argues.
"Listen, Eunsung-oppa," she says. "I know you're saying this because you're concerned, but I know what I'm doing. This is… This is bigger than just Chan-ssi and I. He's not just my soulmate, he's the leader of Stray Kids, a producer for 3RACHA. It's- The work that he does- What I see on Twitter, the comments on Youtube, the posts on community. He has the power to reach so many people and make lives better. And he does. He’s such a good person. How can I do anything but support him in any way I can? Even if that means letting him push himself without stepping in, then I'll do it. I trust that he knows his own limits."
“And if that means him ignoring your limits?”
“Eunsung-oppa-” Y/n protests.
"You've talked to him about it," Eunsung interrupts her, clearly able to read something in her tone of voice.
"Yeah, I- I understand how you feel, being on that side of it. I thought that I could convince him, but it turns out that he convinced me instead."
"But the conversation you were having, it was about him taking care of himself instead of you prioritising your needs, wasn't it?" he presses. Y/n confirms, but it sounds reluctant.
“He didn’t want to hear it. He was… I don’t know. I don’t want to say what he said to me.”
“And he never brought it up again?”
“He did, kind of. He said sorry the next day. And I know he’s sorry. I know some of the things that he said were just in the heat of the moment. I get it, I really do. He was stressed, tired, we probably weren’t getting enough Charge, even then. But… It hurt. What he said,” Y/n says, her voice small. “What he really meant. It still hurts a little, every time I think about it. Every time I see him.”
"Sometimes you two are too similar. You’re both just pretending you’re fine, but you’re not. I know Chan, maybe not as well as you, but in a different way. He’s not the type to just let this type of thing slide. As much as I hate him right now for making you hurt, if he doesn’t know that you’re hurting, then there’s no way that things will be fixed. I think you need to talk again, if he cares about you at all then he wouldn't just let this go."
"I think you're overestimating our relationship a bit."
"What? Even after the past few months, you guys aren't close?"
“I’m not delusional, I never had fantasies of us immediately falling in love like in the movies or shows, I just,” she shrugs with the shoulder the Chan wasn’t curled up against. “I don’t know, I just thought that we could be friends or something.”
“You wouldn't even consider yourself to be friends?” Eunsung says in a low voice.
“Actually, at one point I did think we were friends… or maybe more,” Y/n admits with a hollow laugh. “I was wrong. His attitude keeps changing, I can’t keep track of it. One second he’s annoyed at me for nagging him and the next he’s carrying me to bed because I fell asleep on the couch. But wherever we’re arguing, it feels like it’s always my fault. And I know, I know that I’m hard to be around. It’s just hard. The moments of… care, they were an illusion. It was all fake, like kids playing house. He can tolerate me of course, but in the end, I'm just someone he works with.”
"You don't think that if he were to hear what you're saying, he would be sad?" Eunsung asks. Y/n stays silent for a while.
“I don't know. What he said to me. I thought a lot about it. I- I want to make his life better, but I think… I think I make it worse. I don’t understand why we’re soulmates, I can think of a million people who would be better for him than me,” she finally confesses, voice sounding wet.
Eunsung shifts forward, but before he can speak, a nurse knocks on the door and lets herself in. It’s enough noise that Chan takes it as an opportunity to pretend to wake up. When Y/n notices, she looks back towards the nurse and quickly sits up straighter so that Chan's arm naturally falls away from where it’s wrapped around her.
“I think you should go to the company, Chan-ssi,” Y/n suggests after the nurse has finished redressing her wound and has left. Her voice is back to normal, upbeat even, and if Chan hadn't been awake then he wouldn't have been able to tell she had just been in a heavy conversation. It’s scary how easily she can mask her emotions. “I don’t want you to fall behind because of all the time you’ve been spending here. Eunsung is already heading there, he can give you a ride.”
“What am I, a chauffeur?” Eunsung mutters, but he stands up and gathers his things without waiting for an answer. “Come on, let’s go.”
Normally, Chan would protest being ordered around, but at this point he’s just grateful to have some space to process what he just heard. He knows that Minho and Jisung were planning to visit soon and that Felix would be dropping by shortly after, so at least he feels somewhat comfortable leaving Y/n alone. He feels lightheaded and… bad in a way that he can’t describe. It's different than when he first found out that Y/n was hurt. Now it's almost like he’s dissociating, but worse because having an out-of-body experience would be better than the heavy press of emotions that he feels now. It’s clogging up his airways and all he can do is focus on following Eunsung out of the room.
Chan hasn’t had many opportunities to interact with Eunsung, but he knows for sure that they were never as tense as they are right now. It’s understandable though, after what he just heard. When Chan starts toward the lane where he usually gets picked up and dropped off, Eunsung instead steers him toward the parkade.
“This way, superstar. Unlike you, I actually have the freedom to drive myself.” Chan barely notices the thinly veiled jab, he’s still reeling from the conversation. He can’t think of a comeback and really, doesn’t feel like he deserves to give a rebuttal.
When they finally stop in front of a car, Chan catches himself right before reaching for the back car door instead of the one to sit shotgun.
The pair sit in silence for the first half of the ride, until Eunsung finally speaks up.
“You know, you don’t deserve her,” Eunsung says, eyes trained on the road ahead.
“And you do?” Chan fires back, thinking of all the rumours he’s heard from the rest of the staff, the giggles he hears whenever Eunsung interacts with Y/n. Although his guilt is creeping up and clouding his thoughts, his first instincts are to feel defensive.
Y/n is his soulmate, not Eunsung’s.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh come on, I’ve seen how close the two of you are.” He tries hard to not sound too accusatory, but instead his words come out as overly bitter.
"Yeah, we're friends."
"And is that all you want to be?"
In response, Eunsung just laughs incredulously. “What? Even you thought- You think that I like Y/n? I’m-” He can’t even finish his thoughts before he starts to laugh again. “Of course I like her, but she’s like a sister to me.”
“Of course you would say that-”
“I’m married, Chan."
"What?" Chan exclaims. "But, but everyone was saying you- I thought- Who are you married to?"
"Saerom. I've definitely mentioned her before, I know for sure that Y/n has too."
“Oh,” he says dumbly, “I thought- I thought Saerom was the name of your dog.”
"What?!" Eunsung turns to gape at Chan.
“How was I supposed to know? You said you have to take her on walks otherwise she gets too restless, you talk about buying her treats! You said she doesn’t like it when you’re travelling for too long, it sounds like how Berry gets when the family goes on vacation. Just because she has a human name doesn't mean she is a human. I've never seen a picture of her either."
“Oh, I cannot wait to tell Y/n about this.” Eunsung continues to laugh while Chan hides his face in his hands. His cheeks feel like they’re on fire. He’s relieved that Eunsung isn’t secretly in love with Y/n but also mortified that he thought his wife was a dog. At this point, opening the car door and flinging himself out doesn’t sound like a bad idea to get himself out of this conversation.
“You don’t wear a ring,” he says, probably digging himself further into the hole he’s currently in.
In response, Eunsung hooks a finger under the collar of his shirt and pulls out a chain, a ring dangling on the end of it. They turn into the company parking lot and Eunsung kills the engine, turning to face Chan directly.
“Chan-ssi,” he says seriously. “I know that there are rumours about a relationship between Y/n and I. She knows about them too. I’m not deaf to the chatter or the way they react when we’re together. Just, is it really so bad if people suspect that the two of us are soulmates? And I’m not saying this because I enjoy all the rumours. It’s because I know that they mask any sort of interactions that you have with her. If any other staff finds out that you’ve been visiting her in the hospital, they wouldn’t think anything of it other than you being concerned because she’s a manager and you were right there when it happened.”
Even though Chan doesn’t like the idea, he knows that Eunsung is right. It’s safer this way. He just has to get used to swallowing the possessive part of him that wants to publicly declare his soulmate bond. He can do this if it means protecting Y/n.
“You’re right,” Chan says quietly.
“I know all of this must be hard for you and even harder if you didn’t know about Saerom. Just know, we’d never do anything outside of being friends, I promise. If you don’t trust me, then at least trust Y/n. And,” he hesitates for a moment. “I know you heard our conversation earlier.”
“What?”
“I saw when you woke up. You’re not as good of an actor as you think you are, but luckily for you, I don’t think Y/n noticed.”
“I- I really messed things up, didn’t I?” Chan says, feeling defeated.
“I’ll be honest, it’s going to be difficult, fixing your relationship. Y/n is very independent. It’s definitely one of her strengths, but it’s also a big weakness. She doesn’t ask for help, even if she needs it and she’s very hard on herself. You know her family, she’s used to doing things on her own. She’s trying her best with this whole soulmate situation and she was really opening up. She trusted you.”
The past tense in his sentence shouldn’t hurt as much as it does.
“You hurt her,” Eunsung continues. “But I know Y/n will forgive you. She cares about you, a lot. If it wasn’t obvious by… everything that has happened so far. You just have to talk to her.”
“I- Thank you, Eunsung,” Chan finally says. “Thank you for being there for her, for helping with all of… this. I’m sorry.”
“You’re a good person, Chan-ssi. I want things to work out between the two of you.” Abruptly, Eunsung’s tone hardens. “But if you make a habit of hurting her, just know that sasaengs will be the least of your worries.”
—
Chan forces himself to try and be productive for at least an hour in his studio before resigning himself to the reality that he wouldn’t be able to get anything done with how distracted he is. He spends the whole time wishing that he was back at the hospital.
Right as he’s about to call it a day, Jisung- who has just arrived after visiting Y/n and assures him that she’s still doing okay- and Changbin join him. They’ve actually been getting work done in the past few days and quickly run through the progress that they’ve made. Even with their presence, Chan’s attention span is practically non-existent. Everything seems to remind him of Y/n.
He ends up staying until the sun starts to set. When Changbin and Jisung start to discuss dinner options, he takes the opportunity to pack up his things.
“Hyung, are you not joining us?” Changbin asks.
“Sorry-” Chan starts saying.
“Hyung just wants to go and see Y/n again. He doesn’t care about us anymore,” Jisung whines playfully.
“That’s not true!” Chan says indignantly.
“You don’t have to lie, just make it up to us.”
“Anything,” Chan agrees.
“Have dinner back at the dorms with us tomorrow,” Jisung says instantly. “You need to bring new clothes to the hospital anyway, you can save Yonghwan-hyung a trip this way.”
Chan realises this was his plan all along and reluctantly agrees. Logically, he knows that nothing will happen to Y/n while he’s away, he just feels better being able to see it with his own eyes.
—
When he gets back to the hospital, he’s surprised to find Y/n just staring blankly at the wall in front of her. She doesn’t react to the sound of the door opening or Chan’s greeting while he had closed it again. He approaches her cautiously, afraid of startling her, but still manages to make her jump when he gets into her field of vision.
“Oh!” she says breathlessly, putting a hand to her chest. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were back.” She automatically smiles at him.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah! Yeah, just had a weird day,” she says in that same strange voice she had back in Japan. Chan is starting to realise it means that she’s hiding something.
“Y/n-”
“Maybe it’s just because you were gone. Not to be clingy or anything, I’m glad that you were finally able to go to the company and get some real work done, but I’ve gotten used to having you attached to my side,” she jokes. It’d be convincing if her voice was more steady, if her smile reached her eyes.
“Uhm,” Chan says, not quite sure if he should pursue the topic further or go along with Y/n’s attempt to gloss over it. “I’m sorry, I promised that I’d go back for dinner tomorrow.”
Y/n rolls her eyes at that. “You don’t have to apologise for that! I’m glad that you’re finally getting to see them after being cooped up here. They're your family, you have to spend time with them.”
“I wasn’t forced to stay here though! I want to be here, I want to be with you. You're my family too,” Chan says earnestly.
Y/n's lips press tightly together at that and she breaks eye contact.
“How about this, Eunsung-oppa was planning to come by tomorrow sometime anyway. He said that he’d bring me some non-hospital food and I couldn’t say no,” she says instead of responding to Chan’s comment. “Felix wanted to come by again too, so you can go home at the same time as him. I’ll tell Eunsung-oppa to come by around dinnertime so you don’t feel like you’re leaving me behind, is that okay?”
“Okay, but promise me that if anything happens then just call me and I’ll come back.”
“I promise.”
—
Dinner with the members is rowdy as usual, maybe even moreso. Chan doesn’t think much of it, happy to have a distraction from his thoughts, until he takes a second too long to respond to someone and catches a couple of concerned glances. He realises that the boys are being overly rambunctious to keep him present. It warms his heart and makes him feel guilty at the same time.
After eating, Jisung slumps onto the couch, stretching out so that his feet hang over the side. Chan joins him, smothering him in affection before he leaves for the night. He knows that Jisung has been more anxious than usual these past few days and although he wishes he could do more to help him, his biggest priority at the moment is Y/n.
“Minho-hyung and I met Y/n’s family yesterday,” Jisung says, voice muffled from being pressed against Chan.
Chan bolts upright, accidentally elbowing Jisung in the process, forcing a groan out of him.
“What? When?” he demands. His mind is racing, finally able to sort out Y/n’s strange behaviour when he had last seen her.
“I forgot to mention it at the studio, but when I was visiting, they also showed up. I don’t really know what I was expecting, but they seemed alright.”
“Just alright?” Chan prompts him, trying to calm his heart rate which has spiked.
“Uhm, I mean her parents were very… polite. They spoke to Y/n privately so I just met them briefly.”
“Where did you go?”
“Her brother, Siwon, I forgot he’s a doctor too. He took me to a private lounge they had, there weren’t any people around which was good. He seemed nice, concerned about Y/n.”
“Well not that concerned,” Chan mutters darkly, “since he didn’t even bother to visit until yesterday.”
Jisung stares at him, clearly shocked by the sudden vitriol.
“Sorry,” Chan says, running a hand through his hair and making it stick up wildly. “It’s just been a lot these days, my emotions are everywhere.”
“It’s okay, hyung,” Jisung says cautiously. “It’s been a lot for all of us, but mostly you and Y/n.”
Chan hums in agreement, but still feels bad.
“You can go back now if you want,” Jisung prompts him.
“What? No, I-”
“I can tell you’re distracted,” he says. “Go, we’ll still be here when she’s better.”
Chan goes.
—
The route to the hospital and through the back entrance is becoming more familiar by now. Chan accidentally startles Y/n when he opens the door to her room, but her expression quickly settles to one of relief upon seeing him. Now that he’s looking closely, he can recognize the same, strained smile that he first saw at Chuseok.
She shuffles to the side of the bed and lifts the blankets so that Chan can sit beside her. He wraps an arm around her and pulls her closer.
“The boys all missed you,” he says in greeting. “Dinner wasn’t the same with just the eight of us.”
“Oh come on-”
“You’re part of us, now. I told you before. And-” Chan hesitates for a moment. “I heard that your parents visited.” Y/n stiffens for a second, before relaxing again.
“Ah, Jisungie, the little snitch,” she says, the fondness in her voice opposing her words. “Yes, they dropped by while you were away.”
“And?”
“Well, my eomoni was telling me that it was a sign that I should quit my job, get out of the industry, said I was stupid for getting between the sasaeng on you, the usual. But I got my abeoji to look over my files, when I asked he said that I can be released tomorrow!” she says excitedly, smiling so much that her eyes curve into crescents. “I get to go home!”
It’s clear that things with her parents didn’t go as well as Y/n is projecting, but Chan is too much of a coward to push more. Somehow that righteous anger that had filled him when he had talked to Jisung has been replaced with uncertainty. He doesn’t want to get into yet another disagreement with Y/n now that he knows what she truly thinks of him. Or rather, what she thinks that he thinks of her. He needs to focus on bringing them together instead of allowing them to drift further apart. He vows to bring this topic up another time, when things are better between them.
“That’s great!” he replies, but even as he says it, he can’t help the nervousness that starts to form in his stomach at the thought. He is happy that she’s been healing well and will definitely be reassured to have her back home, but until now, the hospital has served as a sort of protective bubble for Y/n, shielding her from the outside world. He has the irrational sense that keeping her here longer is the same as keeping her safe for longer.
—
“Bang Chan-nim?” The doctor that has been in charge of Y/n’s care steps into the room and glances at Y/n, who is busy packing away her things. All morning she’s been in a good mood, enthusiastically talking about what she plans to do once she’s back at the dorms. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”
“Of course!” he replies. He tells himself that everything is alright, but can't stop himself from running his hands through his mess of hair, palms prickling with nerves.
The doctor leads Chan to his office and smiles at him gently, like he’s about to break some bad news and needs to make sure that Chan doesn’t also break. It makes things worse, Chan’s stomach starts to churn, his mind racing.
“This might be a difficult conversation, but you may already be aware.” The doctor starts slowly. “Y/n-nim works with idols, right? In the entertainment industry?”
“Yes,” Chan agrees, but he’s confused. Did someone leak the news of Y/n’s injuries? Is there a sasaeng that’s been visiting the hospital? He wants to pull out his phone and immediately call the company and force them to do more damage control, but the doctor continues.
“These days, there is a lot of pressure for young women, especially those who work with or follow idols, to fit into certain beauty standards.” Chan nods. He’s seen countless people destroy their bodies to try and lose more and more weight and knows how devastating it is, but he still doesn’t understand the point of this conversation.
“I’m concerned about Y/n-nim”-the doctor interrupts Chan’s thoughts-“When she came to the hospital, we were focused only on her injuries, but throughout her treatment, we have noticed that she is underweight. The testing that we’ve done tells us she has not been getting enough of what her body needs. Not getting enough food, not enough charge, and not enough rest. She's showing signs that she was becoming malnourished.
“It’s not uncommon to see those with soulmates, especially young women, take advantage of the bond, reducing charging time and saying that they will eat more instead. They often eat a normal amount so that it doesn’t concern anyone, but it’s not nearly enough to make up for the missing charge. Both of you have probably been more sensitive lately. It wouldn’t surprise me if you’ve also noticed yourself being irritable or having rapid mood changes these past few days."
Chan can't do anything but stare as the doctor pulls out a small packet of paper. His pulse roars in his ears and all he can feel is guilt, pooling in his stomach and creeping towards his extremities. He feels nauseous. This is his fault.
He thinks back to all the nights where he stayed in the studio, just a little bit longer to finish a track, sliding into bed to charge for only a few hours before they had to wake up. Of the extra meals, protein drinks, snacks he had consumed that he thought nothing of, too used to the varying diets of the rest of the members depending on their schedules and the ups and downs of bulking up or cutting calories. He’s used to the heaviness of his eyelids, the pounding headaches, and occasional dizziness that were the result of sleepless nights.
All these things he had taken in stride, forgetting that Y/n had been dealing with too. He had the luxury of being an idol, during schedules and tour, there was always breaks for food. But he had seen the way the managers and coordis had to run around, only eating when they had a couple minutes to spare.
He knows that he’s snapped at Y/n more than a few times, patience worn thin enough that at the end of the day he doesn’t have it in him for niceties. Of course, he had felt bad about it after the fact, but Y/n hadn’t seemed very phased by it and he had forgotten about it until the next time. It wouldn’t be the first time that stress made him more easily annoyed and ill-tempered, but now he realises why he seemed quicker to get caught up in his emotions.
The doctor continues talking, but Chan feels like he's underwater, the sound is muffled. This is his fault.
"Bang Chan-nim!" The doctor clasps one of Chan's hands in his and finally pulls his attention away from his self-loathing thoughts. "Are you okay? I know it can be a shock to find out, but don't feel bad. It's very common to be surprised, people are good at hiding things like this, even if you're close to them and I know that your bond is still relatively new. Luckily there are a lot of strategies we have to help your soulmate get more Charge, even if you both have busy schedules. Okay?"
"Okay," Chan replies weakly, he can barely focus on what’s being said, all he can think of is that he's the reason his soulmate is malnourished. And he didn't notice. That they think Y/n has an eating disorder, when it's him that has dictated the amount of charge that she gets. The doctor flips open the packet of papers and starts to highlight it.
"The most important thing right now is increasing Charging time. With Y/n-nim's injuries, her bedrest and all the time you two have spent charging have already been helping a lot. Take this recovery period as a time to build new habits and establish a routine that involves more skinship. I understand you two are busy, but I expect you try for at least 6 or 7 hours of sleep while charging, but more if possible. If you're both doing work on the computer, watching a show or movie, or eating, then sitting close enough to touch will help recharge without taking away from your regular activities will help too. As you may already know, for the most efficient charging more skin-to-skin contact is recommended." He flips the front page back over and places the packet onto another, larger, stack of papers. "More details can be found here and this is the rest of Y/n-ssi's care instructions, prescriptions, and other information on soulmate bonds."
"Thank you so much," Chan says, automatically reaching out to accept all the papers.
"You're welcome. This must be very overwhelming, but Y/n-nim is healing quickly. Your bond is helping her recover much faster. We caught her malnutrition fairly early and expect that she'll be at normal energy levels within a few weeks. Don't feel guilty and try not to worry too much, Bang Chan-nim. Your bond is a good thing, not a bad one." The doctor smiles warmly, checking his watch and standing up. "Y/n-nim should be ready to be discharged now, let's go back to the room so that we don’t keep her waiting."
Chan follows the doctor back in a daze. Y/n is sitting on one of the chairs in her room, scrolling on her phone when they arrive. She brightens when they enter.
“Can we leave now?” she asks eagerly. Chan beelines to her side, reaching to hold her hand.
“Yes, everything has been sorted out now and Bang Chan-nim has all your care instructions. Please give us a call or come to visit if you have any questions or concerns at all,” the doctor says.
“Of course.”
“Looks like everything is ready to go. It was very nice to meet you both, although I wish it could have been under better circumstances. I hope that the rest of your recovery goes well, Y/n-nim, and please do not hesitate to contact us for anything.” With that, the doctor bows and leaves the room.
At the same moment, a nurse knocks on the doorframe as a greeting, pushing a wheelchair through the open door. Y/n’s smile fades when she sees it.
“Oh, no,” she says quickly. “I can walk, there’s no need for one of those.”
She turns to look at Chan for support, but he just shrugs helplessly. Secretly, he would feel better if she used it. After only a week in the hospital, she isn’t close to being fully recovered, even if she hides it well. He’s seen the slight grimaces when Y/n tries to shift positions and the way her face is lined with pain when she walks or has to stand straight for longer than a few minutes. If she pushes herself too much now, it’ll just extend the overall healing process.
“Really, I don’t need it,” she insists. “What was the point in all the walking practise? Besides, Chan-ssi and Yonghwan-ssi will be beside me, they won't let anything happen to me.”
The nurse looks sceptical, but agrees. Before they leave the room, Y/n twists her hand trying to break Chan’s grip.
“It’s too public,” she murmurs when he tightens his hold instead. “Just in case, I don’t want anyone to see anything that can be misinterpreted.”
Unable to think up an argument against that, Chan reluctantly lets go. Y/n hooks her arm with Yonghwan’s instead and they make their way out, Chan hovering behind them anxiously. They’re all wearing masks and hats and the car that’s going to pick them up is waiting at a private exit, but there’s a shared urgency in their movement. By now, the media has turned their attention to other stories, but with the radio silence from Stray Kids since the incident, fans have had nothing to do except theorise and wonder what’s happening behind the scenes.
He knows that it’s making him paranoid. He finds that he’s constantly looking over his shoulder when he’s in the hallways of the hospital. He’s never been more careful trying to cover up his appearance and avoid anybody who looks like they might recognise him.
They can’t risk the chance of a sighting of Y/n, especially now that her face was captured and shared on social media by fans before JYPE’s legal team was able to step in, and pictures of Chan with Y/n would make things much worse. There have already been rumours about how close Y/n is with all the members and who she is, using pictures from other schedules and events, somehow identifying her in blurred out clips from vlogs that have been posted, and even old footage from when she worked with Xdinary Heroes as evidence.
It scares Chan. Scares him so much that he can’t talk about it to anybody.
Although Y/n’s time in the hospital was fairly short, all things considered, Chan feels like he’s the one that has changed during this stay. Everything he has learned has made him feel like his chest has been opened up and his insides have been scooped out, leaving him hollowed out and unsteady.
When they finally get home safely, it feels like Chan can breathe easily for the first time in days.
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campus couple: a stray kids x fem!reader university/college au
CC (Campus Couple): [acronym] referring to a couple who attends the same university.
Otherwise known as (synopsis): how you meet & fall in love with each of the Stray Kids members during college/university. hcs + short scenarios for each member. Inspired by that one SKZ code episode where they were joking about campus couple and other college slang.
tags: fem!reader, non-idol!au, college/university au, fluff (so much fluff), some minor angst (with happy endings!), some suggestive scenes
a/n: this is my first set of works for skz + first time writing for kpop! reblogs are appreciated + constructive feedback welcome 💕
general masterlist | taglist form
Bang Chan
Major: Music Production | Minor(s): Vocal Performance
Part 1 - music when the moon rises (how we met) new/updated!
Part 2 - i fall asleep to songs about you - 9.3.23
hahahah hello so yes um now I write for k-pop on my (new!) side blog
i'll still be active and lurk around on here (MAY HAPS EVEN POST A HAIKYUU OR JUJUTSU KAISEN STORY ONCE IN A BLUE MOON) but definitely the new writing blog is going to be my focus now >.<
your tutorial of "how to make dividers" is so helpful, thank you so much ! <3
omg of course - always happy to see it's helping others on here :) not going to lie I haven't been as active writing wise on tumbr but I remember being so confused on how to make my posts look pretty/organized, etc. + i am quite literally the polar opposite of graphic designer/photo editor. An irl friend of mine + a few mutuals gave me a bunch of guidance for how to make dividers and I figured I probably wasn't the only one who didn't have photo editing software on their device/is not very tech savy. Glad it was helpful for you
p.s. I often forget what dimensions/how to make dividers banners for my own posts so the reblogging/linking is half for my own reference as well 😂
