in a world where soulmates are rare and precious, you don't know why the universe has decided to give you one. you never could have imagined that they would be an idol, and one that you worked with at that, or the challenges that would arise from your bond.
some loves - chan x reader | angst/fluff | 6.9k
some loves are too hard to bear. years after being trainees together, chan still thinks of you all the time. he has no idea that a collaboration would lead him back to you.
hoju (home) - chan x reader | fluff | 4.3k
even though chan has been living in korea for so many years, he still considers australia to be home. when he finally has the opportunity to go back and visit, he can't wait to bring you along and introduce you to the people and places that he grew up with.
chan has quickly become one of your closest friends at university. too bad his girlfriend, hayoon, has him wrapped around her little finger and she's determined to make your life miserable. hyunjin is just enjoying watching the drama unfold.
night again - chan x reader | angst | 6.4k
in hindsight, visiting chan's studio right before a comeback isn't one of your best ideas. what was supposed to be a pleasant surprise leaves you spiraling into self-doubt, wondering if chan even wants to be in a relationship with you at all.
coming up roses - chan x reader | angst/fluff | 10.2k
most of the time, you're grateful to have such a good relationship with your older brother, minho. but when you find yourself falling for his best friend, chan, you can't help but be worried how he'll react when he finds out. you soon find yourself struggling with the unexpected consequences of keeping your feelings a secret.
trust fall (into your arms) pt 1 / pt 2 - chan x reader | angst | 12.5k
you've never been the jealous type, but when you notice a makeup artist's strange behaviour around chan, you just can't let it go.
yet so far - seungmin & reader | fluff | 2.9k
even though you still live in the same city as your brother, seungmin, sometimes you feel like you're worlds away. when seungmin finds out, he's determined to visit home in time for the holidays.
in an instant - platonic ot8 & reader | angst | 2.5k
despite the fact that joining the already established stray kids as their 9th member is the most challenging thing you've ever done, you're determined not to give up. things don't go according to plan.
where the heart is (9th member au collection)
too close to home - platonic ot8 & reader | angst/fluff | 8.5k
as the only female of stray kids, you’ve always felt a little out of place. this comeback, the comments and criticism seem to hit a little too close to home and you start to think that maybe the group is better off without you.
the way home - platonic ot8 & reader | angst | 0.8k
a peaceful walk home takes a turn for the worst when you notice you're being followed.
no place like home - platonic ot8 & reader | angst | 6.2k
when you start to feel unwell, you're determined to continue on as normal. as your condition worsens, you try your best to pretend everything is fine, but your body has other plans.
to build a home // fake texts - platonic ot8 & reader | angst | 7k // 21 ss
when you finally start joining the boys at the gym, you find yourself actually enjoying it. that is, until you overhear some stylists gossiping about your weight, hurting not only your self-confidence, but also your relationship with the other members.
till death do us part (collection)
to have and to hold - chan x reader | fluff | 1.4k
you don't think there's anything chan can do to make you love him more. chan continues to prove you wrong.
from this day forward - hyunjin x reader | fluff | 1.7k
hyunjin and you have a tradition of trying to surprise each other with little things. he's a bad liar, but you love him all the same.
for better, for worse pt 1 / pt 2 - minho x reader | angst | 3.5k
an arranged marriage is anything but ideal. minho knows that when it comes to his role as a husband, he's lacking, but you haven't exactly been the perfect wife either. a phone call from you leads to a shift in priorities.
for richer, for poorer - chan x reader | angst/fluff | 3.4k
gift giving has always been something you’ve agonised over. for chan, just having you in his life is enough.
in sickness and in health - seungmin x reader | fluff | 2.1k
you're the most important thing in seungmin's life, of course his biggest fear would be losing you. it means that taking care of you when you're not feeling well comes naturally.
to love and to cherish // fake texts - chan x reader | angst/fluff | 1.6k // 10 ss
chan comforts you when you have a bad day and are struggling with insecurity.
speed requests masterlist
taglist: please reply to this post, dm me, or send in a question if you'd like to be added! i have a permanent taglist and ones for each collection so please specify which you would like. i plan to schedule my posts so there may be a few hours of delay for when everyone is tagged.
also, i am so sorry if i respond late to comments/messages. i try my best to be timely in replying, but sometimes get overwhelmed or forget. please know that i love and really treasure every like/reblog/comment/ask/message that i receive!!!
i have a skz fic rec sideblog! find me at @missedyoualittletoomuch
hi!! long time no post, here are answers to some questions you may have~
q: when will your hiatus be over?
a: almost done!! i'm thinking of writing a fic for another fandom and then i'll go back to writing for skz. expect me back to posting maybe in june? and before that i will try to catch up on replying to all the comments i got while on hiatus 🫣
q: what will you work on first?
a: hopefully pt 2 of in an instant! otherwise, i have a bunch of speed requests still. i actually haven't even been reading other skz fics during my hiatus so hopefully it's not too hard to jump back into writing
q: how was your hiatus?
a: it was good but very busy due to a number of factors (friends moving away, friends visiting, going on vacation, applying for jobs). things have quieted down which is super nice!!
i know i've been mostly offline for the past month, but just wanted to pop in and officially announce that i'm going to be taking a brief hiatus from writing 🫣 i will still be checking this account so feel free to send me messages or comments, but i may be even slower than usual in responding. thank you for your understanding!
i think i have mentioned it before but i will always consider myself a fanfic reader over a fanfic writer and today proves it well since i clocked in with abt 225k words read (so far) and 0 words written 😌
yes, i have pt 2 planned but it will still be a little while before i write it. things have been crazy for me the past couple of weeks and when i get back to writing i will try to finish off the rest of my speed requests first! thanks for the interest 😊
summary: a peaceful walk home takes a turn for the worst when you notice you're being followed.
word count: 0.8k
tags/warnings: 9th member au, sasaeng/creepy fan
a/n: i am currently working on a longer fic for this collection, but i wrote this super quickly over the weekend inspired by this clip that i randomly saw on ig.
where the heart is collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist
You notice the person about halfway between the company and home. You'd decided to walk back since the weather was nice, but now regret your decision.
In general, you try not to be too paranoid when you’re out in public, after all, Seoul is a big city and there are a lot of people going to a lot of places. It's a humbling experience to worry about being spotted by a fan and then realise they just happened to be heading to the same area as you.
You walk past the man first, then notice he's behind you a couple streets later when you happen to turn around. You make a few strategic turns, bringing you back into the direction of the company, alternating between more popular streets and quieter ones. Each time you look back, he's still trailing behind you and you know it's no coincidence.
His pace isn't particularly fast, he's stayed about half a block behind you this whole time, and his gait is casual. Large but even steps, you would think that he's just taking an evening stroll if he didn't match you every time that you deliberately sped up or slowed down.
You feel hunted.
You call the guys immediately, blindly hitting the call button for your group chat.
“I think I'm being followed,” you say, the second the call connects. You don't even know which of the members picked up.
“Where are you?” Chan replies back, his tone urgent.
“I was walking home, but now I'm heading back to the company. I'll send my location now.”
“Do you have any details?”
“I think he's a fan. He looks young, early 20s and it seemed like he recognised me. I didn't realise until later that he had turned around and was still behind me.”
“Try to stick to a busy street,” Chan urges you. “Y/n-ah, do you think he's dangerous?”
“He doesn't seem dangerous, per se,” you say slowly. Your voice barely comes out as a whisper. “But I’m scared, oppa. I don't feel safe.”
“We're on our way,” Minho replies. You have no idea when he joined the call or who else is listening in, but you already feel a bit better knowing that they're there. “We'll be there soon and security is sending a team too.”
“Can you stay on the call until then?” you ask with a tremulous voice. “I don't want to be alone.”
“Of course.” It's Chan again. “I promise, we won't hang up until you're in our arms.”
“I'm close to the cafe we went to last week,” you tell them. “The one with the green grape ade and the sweet potato cake that I liked. I think they're still open. I'm going to go in."
“Got it,” Han confirms. “I know the place, we'll send everyone that way.”
You don't want to run or do anything that might set off the person following you. It feels like forever until you finally reach the cafe's entrance and make it in. The jingle of the bell has never seemed so welcoming.
You nod to the worker at the counter and head to a table further into the cafe. You’ve visited enough times that they don't question you since you sometimes meet up with the boys and wait until they arrive before ordering.
“I'm inside,” you update the boys. “Sitting at a table. He’s out there just- he's just standing there. Why won't he leave me alone?!”
Even though you feel significantly safer now that you're inside with other people, your heart is still racing and adrenaline has filled your body. The hand that's not holding your phone is shaking.
“It's okay if you feel scared,” Seungmin soothes you. “We're almost there. He won't bother you again.”
“Okay,” you say shakily, trying to compose yourself.
“Security is close,” Chan says. “What does this person look like? What are they wearing?”
“He's average height, slim. Wearing a baseball cap, big black jacket, baggy jeans. He's right at the window beside the door.”
“Got it,” Chan replies.
You watch, moments later as a couple of men approach the guy. They talk to him for a second before they lead him away with a firm grip on each shoulder.
The second after he disappears from your view, the members burst into the cafe, frantically scanning the room.
You stand up and meet them in the middle.
“Thank you.” Is all you can say, before you burst into tears of relief. The boys waste no time surrounding you and wrapping you in their arms murmuring reassurances, uncaring of how it must look to the cafe patrons.
where the heart is collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist
for bullet point fics do you not directly type em into tumblr's drafts with the bullet point text set? (i suck at explaining)
i do that on my laptop, and it works for me <3
hey anon!
yup if i did my writing in tumblr it would def save me some formatting for bullet point fics. alas, i usually type up my fics in a separate doc and then paste them into tumblr when they're finished. this is usually useful bc i cross post on ao3 but in the case of bullet point fics i kind of shot myself in the foot
dealers choice of course with what you want to do (btw asthma gets triggered based on temperature as well as exercise)
1 As the song ends performing for fans at a music bank so she feels herself getting wheezy and pushes though and as soon as she song ends rushes or sneaks offstage and almost crashes and a stray boy or 2 (lee know/ Chan) helps her get her inhaler / comforts/sitswith her/ not rushing her - maybe jokes about her stupid lungs not working etc / comforts her
2 9th member ish the dorms has been riddled with fighting the last week and usually MC doesn’t fight but got into one about (dealers choice) with ( Han or felix ) and storms out into cold without jacket that she keeps her inhaler in and suffers in cold angry walking but calls the other boy (Han or felix ) to help but the call gets dropped chaos ensues
Love your writing ✍️ 🥰 i’m sure what you do will be great.
- 🪴🫶🏽
breathless
pairing: chan & reader, minho & reader
word count: 1k
tags/warnings: asthma attack, 9th member au
a/n: my first bullet point fic 🫣 i tried to do this one in under 1 hr and failed again but once i decided to do bullet points then i finished it up pretty quick. thanks for the request anon!! also mrs room is crazy!! i am happily unmarried so miss room is fine 😂😂
speed requests | masterlist
You notice that your throat is tightening up during the break right before the concert’s encore. It’s the longest time that you have between performances and one of the few times where you can usually catch your breath.
Today it seems, that’s not the case.
At some point, you get one of the staff to pass over one of the portable humidifiers, but the steam only partly eases the tightness in your chest. You’re about to ask for someone to grab your inhaler from your bag, but it’s already time to head back on stage.
Once you’re out for the next song, you realise that it’s not just the effort of performing that’s causing your asthma to act up. This venue doesn’t have a roof and as the concert goes on, it’s getting colder and colder
You try not to panic because that makes your chest tighten even more
You get yourself back into idol mode and try to keep your energy up. Luckily for the encore there’s no intense choreography and you have the freedom to take it a bit easier than normal without drawing attention to yourself. You smile and laugh and play around with the rest of the members
You’re a little surprised, but you must be a pretty decent actress because you’re able to keep the boys from noticing there’s anything wrong
Still, jumping and running around irritates your airways even more. You’re able to keep your voice relatively steady for any lines that you have to sing, but it’s a challenge.
You’re thankful when you wrap up the last song. Usually you’re one of the last in the group to leave at the end of a concert, preferring to linger and take in the crowd as much as possible, but today you quickly wave, blow a kiss to the camera, and leave
You’re not even sure how you managed to last this long, your breathing is laboured and you feel dizzy. Combining the fact that dark splotches are starting to appear in your vision and the dim lighting backstage, you can’t stop yourself from bumping into Minho
He reflexively grabs your arm and steadies you so that you don’t completely topple over.
“Woah, are you okay, Y/n-ah?” he asks.
Your panicked gasps is response enough for him to jump into action
He pulls your arm around his shoulders and hooks his arm around your waist
“Channie-hyung!” Minho calls, looking around frantically. “Changbin-ah, go grab hyung and tell him that Y/n-ah is having an asthma attack. I’m going to take her back to the waiting room, but she needs her inhaler.”
Minho hauls you through the backstage hallways as quickly as he can without straining your breathing even more. He talks to you the whole time, probably trying to both distract and calm you down
Or maybe he’s just trying to keep himself calm too
While you appreciate it, you can’t even tell what he’s saying, your full concentration on moving one leg in front of the other and trying to draw in oxygen.
It’s all a blur, one moment you’re stumbling through the hallways and the next you’re collapsed on a couch. Minho is sitting beside you, rubbing circles into your back
Someone brings over a humidifier and you keep it right in front of your face, greedily trying to take in all of the steam
At some point, rest of the members pile into the room and you know they're concerned but all the noises and bodies so close, it's just too much
Somebody must say something because a moment later, they're all gone except for Minho who hasn't moved from when he first sat down
“Y/n-ah.” You open your eyes to find Chan crouched in front of you, presenting your inhalers to you. “Which one do you need?”
You grab onto your rescue inhaler, but your hands are too weak to take off the cap.
Chan gently pries it from your hands, shaking it, then lifting it to your mouth.
You can’t take a deep enough breath in for the spray to be fully effective, but it still helps. It’s still difficult to breathe, but you’re no longer wheezing
After a minute you take another puff and this one works much better
You finally feel like the oxygen is making it to your lungs and you’re able to slow your breathing. You close your eyes, exhausted, and Minho lets you lean on him. This whole time, he’s never stopped soothing you. Right now, he’s combing his fingers through your hair and it feels so good that you doze off
Chan wakes you about 10 minutes later. He doesn’t want to, but by now your rescue inhaler should have helped enough that it’s the best time for you to take your regular inhaler
You’re feeling much more steady, but Chan still helps take the lid off, holds it up for you, and gives you tea as a reward. You use both hands to hold onto the mug and even the warmth makes you feel better. Each sip alleviates the soreness that has developed in your throat
As soon as you’ve finished your tea, you tell the boys that you’re ready to go back to the hotel. Chan assures you that you’re allowed to stay as long as you need, but you’re ready to take a hot shower and lie down on a bed (not that Minho isn’t comfortable)
You can walk fine, but Chan insists on carrying you on his back to the cars. Him and Minho sandwich you in the backseat even though there’s more than enough room to spread out. They both hover around you as you make your way into the hotel and up to your room
You find out that one of the other members had called ahead and gotten some soup delivered to your room.
Chan and Minho give you privacy as you wash up, but don’t leave your side until you’re tucked into bed
Hello! For speed requests could you please maybe do an angsty Changbin x reader..? Where reader has self image issues (and unfortunately we know Bin does too) and he snaps at reader, making her feel insecure. Happy ending though! Please! Thank you! 💕💕💕
nothing to lose
pairing: changbin x female reader
word count: 1.9k
tags/warnings: body image, dieting, extreme weight loss, angst, arguments
a/n: thank you so much for this request anon!! i had such a fun time writing it that i spent a bit more than 1 hour (more like 3 or 4) writing it and wish i could have spent even more to perfect it! i hope you like it~
speed requests | masterlist
Changbin has always made jokes about abs and being able to show them off to Stays. And for a long time, that’s all they were, jokes.
You know that even with all the pressure from management, industry standards, and fans, he’s never been insecure about his weight. When he became known for being the strongest member of the group, he was proud of that and it boosted his confidence even more.
You know that he knows what’s best for himself and that he won’t be influenced by others and you love him for that. So when he decides to challenge himself and actually try to lose enough weight to get abs, you support him. He tells you that he just wants to prove to himself that he can do it and you believe him.
Changbin has gone through many cycles of bulking and cutting, so it’s not out of the ordinary for him to be on a calorie deficit. He’s absolutely committed to this diet and it’s not long before he’s lost a noticeable amount of weight. But it’s not without some sacrifice.
Changbin has always gone to the gym a lot, but now he’s there more than ever. On top of dance and strength training, he starts adding in more and more cardio into his routine.
Of course, it’s also not the same when something that once helped to bring you together - food - is no longer something you can enjoy together. The two of you don’t go out to eat at restaurants anymore because of Changbin’s diet plan. You don’t cook together because he already has his own meal prep. You barely even eat together because he claims that the smell of your food is too tempting.
And more than these things, Changbin’s behaviour changes. Changbin has always been the sweetest, most caring and thoughtful boyfriend ever. You don’t know if it’s stress from the concert prep, not eating enough, or not sleeping enough, but his patience is non-existent these days and he’s quick to get annoyed at little things that have never bothered him.
You’re also worried that Changbin is getting obsessed with feedback from the fans. His weightloss journey has been remarkable for sure and you’ve never seen him as pleased as after his first performance showing off his new abs. When he’s at home with you, he’s constantly scrolling on his phone, something he used to never do, and saving posts. His screenshots are all praise and compliments, fans freaking out over his body. He's strict to a point that you begin to think that he's just punishing himself.
You're glad that he's worked this hard, but you don't want this to consume him.
It all comes to a head when you bring up going out one last time before Changbin leaves on tour. You’re not exactly expecting an enthusiastic yes, but you’re still shocked when he doesn’t even consider it, immediately mentioning that he has to follow his diet plan.
“Come on,” you plead. “Just one dinner? We’re not going to be able to see each other for so long.”
“You wouldn’t understand, I want to, but I can’t just let myself go, especially so close to tour.”
“I’m not asking you to completely quit your diet, it’s one meal, Changbin-ah. It can be healthy, we can work it into your meal plan.”
“Why are you pushing so much? I'm an idol, appearance is part of my job. We can do something when I get back.”
“I’m just a bit concerned-” you start to say
“People finally like me, Y/n-ah. I just don’t want to be that gross and fat person that I used to be. I finally look good and I like it. Is that so hard to believe?”
“You weren’t! You were healthy! You weren’t fat and you certainly weren’t gross! Real fans aren’t going to like you based on your weight, Changbin. They’re the ones that see your talent, your hard work. They've been with you all along.”
“Nobody liked me before I lost weight. Why would they? I looked terrible back then.”
“Well I did!” you insist. “You didn't have to change a thing, you were enough as you were, Changbin.”
“Listen,” Changbin says, annoyance leaking into his voice. “Just because you can’t lose weight and are jealous, doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to stop me from my diet. I'm doing better now and I don’t understand why you aren’t supporting me in this.”
Changbin has never commented on your weight before. You eat healthy, but you don’t restrict yourself and your appearance reflects that. You thought that Changbin didn’t care about that sort of thing, but apparently you were wrong.
“Right,” you swallow hard. “Just forget about it then, okay? It’s fine.”
That night, you stare at yourself for a long time in the mirror.
You know you’re nothing special. You don’t have long legs, a well defined waist, slender arms. You never really lost the baby fat in your cheeks and it’s especially apparent when you smile.
As idols, the boys are constantly surrounded by beautiful people. You’ve seen some of the pictures from fanmeets, all of the girls who are all dressed up with gorgeous make up, hair, and bodies. You wonder for a moment if Changbin would love you more if you lost weight. If you looked more like them.
For the next few days, all you can think about is the fact that Changbin thought he used to be gross and fat, that maybe it means he thinks the same thing about you.
He’s never brought up the idea of going public and while you’ve also never really considered it, you can’t help but think that maybe he was ashamed of being seen with you.
With Stray Kids on tour for the next few months, you won’t be seeing Changbin in person any time soon. You had been dreading it, but now you realise it’s an opportunity to see if you can transform yourself by the time that he returns.
You tell yourself that you're not trying to do this just to please him. You're just curious if you can. How you'll look, how you'll feel.
Honestly, it’s easier than you thought. It helps that, every time you think of Changbin, every time you picture his disgusted face when he was talking about how he used to look, you lose your appetite. You dive into tips on losing weight quickly and being able to keep it off, religiously following the advice that all the thin and pretty girls on the internet tell you.
You skip breakfast, relying on iced americanos to get you through the day. When you make it to your first meal, you eat as slowly as possible, sipping water in between to try and trick your stomach into thinking it's full. You understand now, why eating out or buying prepared food feels like giving up. When you were in school, you didn't try as hard in some of your classes as you are now, tracking every little calorie, carefully portioning out and weighing food before you even think of eating it.
You get a gym membership and a personal trainer for the first time in your life. You attend pilates classes and get a walking pad because you want to make sure that you're getting your steps in even when the weather is bad.
Slowly, the weight comes off. You know for sure because you've had to start buying new clothes, your old ones not fitting you well anymore. A couple of your coworkers have complimented your appearance. You feel good, the first time it happens, but you start to wonder if they too had previously criticised your weight.
But still, it's not enough.
You’re wary of taking any medication, but you start drinking weight loss tea in the mornings. Your snacks are exclusively weight loss jellies which you've heard helps to control your appetite, eliminate your cravings, and improve digestion.
It's easy to overlook the more negative impacts of your diet, if you can even call them that. Of course you're hungry all the time, in fact you feel proud because that means you’re doing a good job in not eating too much. It's not a big deal that you’re always cold because if your body is trying to heat itself up more, that probably means you're burning more calories.
As Stray Kids’ tour leg comes to an end, you push yourself more and more, hopeful each time you step on the scale and disappointed whenever the number isn't as low as you had hoped. You just want Changbin to be proud of you, you just want him to like you.
Not only are you the lowest weight that you've ever been, you feel the healthiest.
So when you fit in one last PT session before Changbin returns, the last thing you're expecting to do is pass out.
You're not even sure how it happens, one moment you're partway done your cooldown run on the treadmill, the next you're waking up in a hospital.
When you realise that Changbin is beside you, you groan, getting his attention.
“Y/n-ah, what happened?” he asks frantically.
“It's nothing,” you say, hiding your face in your hands. “Sorry, I didn't want you to see me like this.”
You had planned to dress nicely for your reunion and had even practiced doing your hair and makeup in a way that accentuated your new figure and face shape. Now he's seeing you without any makeup and still in your sweaty workout clothes.
“You're in the hospital! It's not nothing.”
“I just got too dizzy at the gym,” you explain. “I must have passed out, they didn't have to bring me to a hospital, I'm fine.”
“What were you doing at the gym?” Changbin asks. Even though you know he doesn't mean it, the question stings. Almost like you've confirmed your theories that Changbin doesn't believe in you, that he doesn't think you have what it takes to lose weight.
“What? I can't go to the gym?” you scoff.
“No, that's not what I meant,” Changbin says. “It's just- you look like you need to be resting. You haven't been eating well? Are you sick? You look so-”
“What do you mean?” you ask, in a small voice. “I- I was dieting, I thought this was what you wanted?”
“What?” Changbin asks, sounding devastated. “Why would you need to lose weight?”
“You said- before the tour,” you try to explain, trying not to panic. You thought that Changbin would be happy, how could this have gone so wrong? “You said that I couldn't lose weight. But I can! I wanted to surprise you?”
“No no no, what? I would never-” Changbin takes a deep breath to gather himself. “I'm sorry that I made you feel like you had to change yourself to- to try to please me or something. I never intended to make you doubt yourself or feel less than. I know that I was too hard on myself before the tour, the guys knocked some sense into me, and I'm really sorry that it influenced you as well.”
“I don't understand,” you laugh uncertainly. “You don't have to apologise, I-”
“Y/n-ah, I love you just the way you are and however you look or how much you weigh isn't going to change that,” Changbin says gently. “I messed up and I'm really sorry that I made you feel bad about yourself. I promise that I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”
