ciao, *.

probabilmente mi fido di te

[chill-billy]

sudoku cleanout from the old phone, july 2021

i was proud of this at a time in my life. i don't think it was anywhere NEAR grand enough to put on ig haha so here will do! good job, past me.

[chill-billy]

Mind farts 051821

you know what made things work before? a class schedule and diary. i took that for granted in college, now here i am, still falling apart HAHA. i made up a simple schedule of how my day is expected to be, so i can probably brute force myself into managing my time. screw habit scoring, i didn’t get it anyway.

also, can i just say how cool and questionable it was that donna was won over by stephen with charm and words? like ???? if i did that, i don’t think people would have as much respect for me as they do lmao.

i think in the future i want to marry someone who can help me grow a family business just so my kids have the feeling of security in the future in case they want to fall back to it, and that i’m more or less sure their futures will be ok whatever they choose

[menpale]

[jassythesassy]

[scurviesdisneyblog]

Tangled concept art by Kevin Nelson

[chill-billy]

032721

[chill-billy]

032921

[chill-billy]

01 22 21

First Princess Tea Party on KUMU haha it was an obvious "choice" of character.

I was really feeling myself this day, but I'm not feeling it all that much right now. Is it a vanity thing?

[chill-billy]

01 16 21

Went home from someone's house to find a new mat and other new stuff for working out/stretching! Fun times. I can't believe I used to be this happy.

[chill-billy]

according to my phone notes, at march 6, 2021, 7:41am, while i was in my grab on the way to the birthday boy's house, i was crying through my mask listening to the bridge of Ordinary People on the radio. i never cried in this song, i think i just noted it because it was unusual. i was feeling a lot at the minute haha. i seem to be doing so more often.

[chill-billy]

on a laptop stickie from sometime in Feb:

i am once again finding myself in a thought space where i can’t find peace in anyone — not in my friends, not in my family, and not in myself. and it’s nobody’s fault, but i don’t know what to do except to stop everything.

[chill-billy]

121820 (auq na im not even reviewing these as i post haha bahala ka na future me!!)

Another dream about him. This was just here at home. The was just a lot of talking and a lot of laughing. I remember it transitioning from aot to having him around at home.

[chill-billy]

121720 (shuta sorry i just have to throw these all away HAHAHA)

I had a dream about him posting about me on his finsta. It was an old selfie of him and me. His caption had something about weird hair and the rest of the photos were just of him with his hair transformations. Part of the caption read, "life used to be easier." It was posted to Facebook too, so our photo got a lot of reactions. I don't remember the rest of my dream. I'm sorry I didn't say hello on discord.

[chill-billy]

122120

My dad likes to romanticize Click. That includes bad Christmas movies. Movies with bad acting. Any movie with a middle class family and maybe a parent with cancer.

I have to be honest, no? It's annoying. It's annoying how my sister grew up knowing Click gets to him and now that she's watching it for the first time, my mom's just making fun of my dad crying. This obviously has no effect on her whatsoever. It's annoying how my mom is casually brushing it off, and it's annoying how my dad thinks the crying will make this better. I can't say he can't control this, but it's annoying how he can't cry at ???? Movies with subtly gay people. Documentaries with less advantaged people. Ah, i need to stop myself. I can't control what he feels. What any of them feel. And it's fucking annoying.

[chill-billy]

122020

I know what you look like when you love someone and you're not sure how to show it. I know because I've seen it face-to-face. And you didn't have it this time around. And that's okay.

Write about the beginning of the end.

Everything else I talked about in my head before my shower is now lost in the archives of the universe. I hope I'll get to access them again someday when my soul is past this realm, but I don't worry about it now. All you need to know is that I'll always love you. It's the one thing that's been constant all this time and the one thing that will remain so for as long as we're remembered.

[chill-billy]

012021 “My type why do i have this”

Colin Firth - awkward, gentleman, brit

Jude Law - tall, gentleman, brit

Taron Egerton - can sing, funny, brit

Aldis Hodge - tall, dark, jacked, looks like he can give a girl what she wants

George Clooney - older, still hot, smooth voice (honestly in fantastic mr fox i still had a crush on him)

Chris Hemsworth - tall, id have him love me even at his worst state as a god ie beer belly galore HAHA, still a gentleman, funny

Tom hiddleston - tall, fun, funny, can dance, near perfect i almost dont want him, smiles like i can die right here

Heath Ledger - charming, kind, beautiful

Richard Gere - same points as George Clooney, but no facial hair and that's ok

John Hamm - omg almost forgot about him, tall, facial hair looks great always, funny

Bobby Cannavale - same points as John Hamm, but something extra about his eyes, also married to Rose Byrne, so something went very right

John Krasinski - cute, facial hair, looks like he has high EQ, tall, married to Emily Blunt

Donald Glover, community days - super funny, super passionate, handsome

Osric chau - kind of off theme but i feel i like ive known him for all my life u know haha, cute, would be my best friend, looks like could secretly be the toughest guy in the room

[chill-billy]

Forgot to put this on my fitsta, but I didn't feel the need to anymore HAHA.

Also still need to put my December Daylio entries on here! I don't think I'll be able to continue it for now.