Maximum Effort, Minimal Sanity

🔥"Officially Unofficial"Deadpool rp Blog🔥 💀 just a guy in a tight red suit, posting memes, slandering spidey, occasionally committing fictional war crimes. Logan lover 😔🍑. 💬RP FRIENDLY - slide into my asks and dms, just bring tacos. 🔞 Rated R for Ridiculous. 🔪 Breaking the 4th wall daily.

[pinpintedoodle]

로라 불쌍해..

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Ugh, I needed this… thanks Red” Jay starts on his portion, trying not to notice Wade’s face

[chimichangaboy69]

"Alright, Jay," he muttered, staring out the window of the small, busy restaurant.

"Let’s get this over with, mhm? Let me take this off so you can get your daily dose of horror and I can pretend not to notice when you're trying not to look." He paused, glancing at Jay out of the corner of his eye.

"Then we can eat like normal people. Well, as normal as we can get."

With a shrug, Wade reached for his mask. He hesitated for a second, but then he pulled it off completely with a quick motion.

His face was a map of tragedy an survival.

Wade's brown eyes finally stared back into Jay's tired ones.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay took a few seconds to look over Wade’s face before returning to his nachos

“Burns, right?” Jay asked calmly, not reacting as much as Wade expected

[chimichangaboy69]

"Burns. El cancer. Mutation. You call it, bean." He said, grabbing his burrito and taking the first bite.

"How's your food?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Real good, thanks” Jay smiled, yawning a little but still seeming more awake than earlier “Don’t worry about freaking me out okay? Your face isn’t that bad”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Not that bad? Baby you haven’t seen the rest. My dick looks like a burnt hot dog." He said, chuckling.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay chuckled, putting a hand over his mouth “TMI doesn’t exist for you huh?”

“…but I mean it. I uhh… I’ve seen similar”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Mhmh. It does not." Wade shook his head, and he continued eating.

"Yeah?? Like what?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The crack whore herself, my mother. House fire. I was 12. Messed up her face. I just got stuck with these” Jay pulled up his shirt a little to show old burn scars across his stomach before pulling it back down

[chimichangaboy69]

"Heh. Well, luckily you didn't become a burnt fishstick like me." He said, booping his nose.

"I'm sorry you went through that, coffee bean. That's a pretty sad origin story. You might as well become a superhero. Or a villain. You choose."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Yeah, except I’ve got no powers. And I’m not that smart. Or athletic. So being the news guys is fine by me” Jay shrugs “If anything you have every right to be a villain, but you’re not. That’s good”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade shurgged.

He took a sip of his beer and he leaned back in his seat.

"I'm not much of a hero, either, believe me." He said, looking down at his hands.

"I'm a diva" he said, winking.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I’ve noticed” Jay smirks, looking at his own beer before pushing it to the side “Still you’re doing a net good, even if not the most moral way”

[chimichangaboy69]

After having their food, Wade insisted on taking Jay home.

So he called Dopinder, one of his best friends. His sweet little "Brown Panther".

Dopinder’s taxi screeched to a stop.

Wade hopped in, waiting for Jay to get in as well.

"My beautiful friend!" Dopinder beamed. "Productive morning?"

Wade grinned. "Jay, meet Dopinder—our getaway driver slash life coach."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Hi" Jay said, tapping absently on the window and not really paying attention

[chimichangaboy69]

Dopinder beamed. "Ah, a man of few words! Mysterious. Dangerous. I like it."

Wade leaned back, feet on the dashboard. "He’s brooding, Dopinder. Let him have his moment...Coffe bean, give us the adress?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Its [insert address here bc im too tired to make one up]... and I'm not brooding"

[chimichangaboy69]

Dopinder nodded, inputting the address. "Of course, my friend. No brooding here. Only deep, silent contemplation of one’s regrets."

Wade smirked. "Yeah, Jay, you’re just vibing in existential dread."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I regret getting in this taxi" Jay muttered

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon, don't be grumpy. You just had a very bad day." Wade said softly, patting his knee gently.

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Ugh, I needed this… thanks Red” Jay starts on his portion, trying not to notice Wade’s face

[chimichangaboy69]

"Alright, Jay," he muttered, staring out the window of the small, busy restaurant.

"Let’s get this over with, mhm? Let me take this off so you can get your daily dose of horror and I can pretend not to notice when you're trying not to look." He paused, glancing at Jay out of the corner of his eye.

"Then we can eat like normal people. Well, as normal as we can get."

With a shrug, Wade reached for his mask. He hesitated for a second, but then he pulled it off completely with a quick motion.

His face was a map of tragedy an survival.

Wade's brown eyes finally stared back into Jay's tired ones.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay took a few seconds to look over Wade’s face before returning to his nachos

“Burns, right?” Jay asked calmly, not reacting as much as Wade expected

[chimichangaboy69]

"Burns. El cancer. Mutation. You call it, bean." He said, grabbing his burrito and taking the first bite.

"How's your food?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Real good, thanks” Jay smiled, yawning a little but still seeming more awake than earlier “Don’t worry about freaking me out okay? Your face isn’t that bad”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Not that bad? Baby you haven’t seen the rest. My dick looks like a burnt hot dog." He said, chuckling.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay chuckled, putting a hand over his mouth “TMI doesn’t exist for you huh?”

“…but I mean it. I uhh… I’ve seen similar”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Mhmh. It does not." Wade shook his head, and he continued eating.

"Yeah?? Like what?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The crack whore herself, my mother. House fire. I was 12. Messed up her face. I just got stuck with these” Jay pulled up his shirt a little to show old burn scars across his stomach before pulling it back down

[chimichangaboy69]

"Heh. Well, luckily you didn't become a burnt fishstick like me." He said, booping his nose.

"I'm sorry you went through that, coffee bean. That's a pretty sad origin story. You might as well become a superhero. Or a villain. You choose."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Yeah, except I’ve got no powers. And I’m not that smart. Or athletic. So being the news guys is fine by me” Jay shrugs “If anything you have every right to be a villain, but you’re not. That’s good”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade shurgged.

He took a sip of his beer and he leaned back in his seat.

"I'm not much of a hero, either, believe me." He said, looking down at his hands.

"I'm a diva" he said, winking.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I’ve noticed” Jay smirks, looking at his own beer before pushing it to the side “Still you’re doing a net good, even if not the most moral way”

[chimichangaboy69]

After having their food, Wade insisted on taking Jay home.

So he called Dopinder, one of his best friends. His sweet little "Brown Panther".

Dopinder’s taxi screeched to a stop.

Wade hopped in, waiting for Jay to get in as well.

"My beautiful friend!" Dopinder beamed. "Productive morning?"

Wade grinned. "Jay, meet Dopinder—our getaway driver slash life coach."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Hi" Jay said, tapping absently on the window and not really paying attention

[chimichangaboy69]

Dopinder beamed. "Ah, a man of few words! Mysterious. Dangerous. I like it."

Wade leaned back, feet on the dashboard. "He’s brooding, Dopinder. Let him have his moment...Coffe bean, give us the adress?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Its [insert address here bc im too tired to make one up]... and I'm not brooding"

[chimichangaboy69]

Dopinder nodded, inputting the address. "Of course, my friend. No brooding here. Only deep, silent contemplation of one’s regrets."

Wade smirked. "Yeah, Jay, you’re just vibing in existential dread."

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Ugh, I needed this… thanks Red” Jay starts on his portion, trying not to notice Wade’s face

[chimichangaboy69]

"Alright, Jay," he muttered, staring out the window of the small, busy restaurant.

"Let’s get this over with, mhm? Let me take this off so you can get your daily dose of horror and I can pretend not to notice when you're trying not to look." He paused, glancing at Jay out of the corner of his eye.

"Then we can eat like normal people. Well, as normal as we can get."

With a shrug, Wade reached for his mask. He hesitated for a second, but then he pulled it off completely with a quick motion.

His face was a map of tragedy an survival.

Wade's brown eyes finally stared back into Jay's tired ones.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay took a few seconds to look over Wade’s face before returning to his nachos

“Burns, right?” Jay asked calmly, not reacting as much as Wade expected

[chimichangaboy69]

"Burns. El cancer. Mutation. You call it, bean." He said, grabbing his burrito and taking the first bite.

"How's your food?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Real good, thanks” Jay smiled, yawning a little but still seeming more awake than earlier “Don’t worry about freaking me out okay? Your face isn’t that bad”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Not that bad? Baby you haven’t seen the rest. My dick looks like a burnt hot dog." He said, chuckling.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay chuckled, putting a hand over his mouth “TMI doesn’t exist for you huh?”

“…but I mean it. I uhh… I’ve seen similar”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Mhmh. It does not." Wade shook his head, and he continued eating.

"Yeah?? Like what?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The crack whore herself, my mother. House fire. I was 12. Messed up her face. I just got stuck with these” Jay pulled up his shirt a little to show old burn scars across his stomach before pulling it back down

[chimichangaboy69]

"Heh. Well, luckily you didn't become a burnt fishstick like me." He said, booping his nose.

"I'm sorry you went through that, coffee bean. That's a pretty sad origin story. You might as well become a superhero. Or a villain. You choose."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Yeah, except I’ve got no powers. And I’m not that smart. Or athletic. So being the news guys is fine by me” Jay shrugs “If anything you have every right to be a villain, but you’re not. That’s good”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade shurgged.

He took a sip of his beer and he leaned back in his seat.

"I'm not much of a hero, either, believe me." He said, looking down at his hands.

"I'm a diva" he said, winking.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I’ve noticed” Jay smirks, looking at his own beer before pushing it to the side “Still you’re doing a net good, even if not the most moral way”

[chimichangaboy69]

After having their food, Wade insisted on taking Jay home.

So he called Dopinder, one of his best friends. His sweet little "Brown Panther".

Dopinder’s taxi screeched to a stop.

Wade hopped in, waiting for Jay to get in as well.

"My beautiful friend!" Dopinder beamed. "Productive morning?"

Wade grinned. "Jay, meet Dopinder—our getaway driver slash life coach."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Hi" Jay said, tapping absently on the window and not really paying attention

[chimichangaboy69]

Dopinder beamed. "Ah, a man of few words! Mysterious. Dangerous. I like it."

Wade leaned back, feet on the dashboard. "He’s brooding, Dopinder. Let him have his moment...Coffe bean, give us the adress?"

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Ugh, I needed this… thanks Red” Jay starts on his portion, trying not to notice Wade’s face

[chimichangaboy69]

"Alright, Jay," he muttered, staring out the window of the small, busy restaurant.

"Let’s get this over with, mhm? Let me take this off so you can get your daily dose of horror and I can pretend not to notice when you're trying not to look." He paused, glancing at Jay out of the corner of his eye.

"Then we can eat like normal people. Well, as normal as we can get."

With a shrug, Wade reached for his mask. He hesitated for a second, but then he pulled it off completely with a quick motion.

His face was a map of tragedy an survival.

Wade's brown eyes finally stared back into Jay's tired ones.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay took a few seconds to look over Wade’s face before returning to his nachos

“Burns, right?” Jay asked calmly, not reacting as much as Wade expected

[chimichangaboy69]

"Burns. El cancer. Mutation. You call it, bean." He said, grabbing his burrito and taking the first bite.

"How's your food?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Real good, thanks” Jay smiled, yawning a little but still seeming more awake than earlier “Don’t worry about freaking me out okay? Your face isn’t that bad”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Not that bad? Baby you haven’t seen the rest. My dick looks like a burnt hot dog." He said, chuckling.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay chuckled, putting a hand over his mouth “TMI doesn’t exist for you huh?”

“…but I mean it. I uhh… I’ve seen similar”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Mhmh. It does not." Wade shook his head, and he continued eating.

"Yeah?? Like what?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The crack whore herself, my mother. House fire. I was 12. Messed up her face. I just got stuck with these” Jay pulled up his shirt a little to show old burn scars across his stomach before pulling it back down

[chimichangaboy69]

"Heh. Well, luckily you didn't become a burnt fishstick like me." He said, booping his nose.

"I'm sorry you went through that, coffee bean. That's a pretty sad origin story. You might as well become a superhero. Or a villain. You choose."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Yeah, except I’ve got no powers. And I’m not that smart. Or athletic. So being the news guys is fine by me” Jay shrugs “If anything you have every right to be a villain, but you’re not. That’s good”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade shurgged.

He took a sip of his beer and he leaned back in his seat.

"I'm not much of a hero, either, believe me." He said, looking down at his hands.

"I'm a diva" he said, winking.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I’ve noticed” Jay smirks, looking at his own beer before pushing it to the side “Still you’re doing a net good, even if not the most moral way”

[chimichangaboy69]

After having their food, Wade insisted on taking Jay home.

So he called Dopinder, one of his best friends. His sweet little "Brown Panther".

Dopinder’s taxi screeched to a stop.

Wade hopped in, waiting for Jay to get in as well.

"My beautiful friend!" Dopinder beamed. "Productive morning?"

Wade grinned. "Jay, meet Dopinder—our getaway driver slash life coach."

[catchymemes]

[chimichangaboy69]

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. That’s why I make sure mine consists of pure caffeine, excessive carbs, and just enough regret to keep things interesting.

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Ugh, I needed this… thanks Red” Jay starts on his portion, trying not to notice Wade’s face

[chimichangaboy69]

"Alright, Jay," he muttered, staring out the window of the small, busy restaurant.

"Let’s get this over with, mhm? Let me take this off so you can get your daily dose of horror and I can pretend not to notice when you're trying not to look." He paused, glancing at Jay out of the corner of his eye.

"Then we can eat like normal people. Well, as normal as we can get."

With a shrug, Wade reached for his mask. He hesitated for a second, but then he pulled it off completely with a quick motion.

His face was a map of tragedy an survival.

Wade's brown eyes finally stared back into Jay's tired ones.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay took a few seconds to look over Wade’s face before returning to his nachos

“Burns, right?” Jay asked calmly, not reacting as much as Wade expected

[chimichangaboy69]

"Burns. El cancer. Mutation. You call it, bean." He said, grabbing his burrito and taking the first bite.

"How's your food?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Real good, thanks” Jay smiled, yawning a little but still seeming more awake than earlier “Don’t worry about freaking me out okay? Your face isn’t that bad”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Not that bad? Baby you haven’t seen the rest. My dick looks like a burnt hot dog." He said, chuckling.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay chuckled, putting a hand over his mouth “TMI doesn’t exist for you huh?”

“…but I mean it. I uhh… I’ve seen similar”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Mhmh. It does not." Wade shook his head, and he continued eating.

"Yeah?? Like what?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The crack whore herself, my mother. House fire. I was 12. Messed up her face. I just got stuck with these” Jay pulled up his shirt a little to show old burn scars across his stomach before pulling it back down

[chimichangaboy69]

"Heh. Well, luckily you didn't become a burnt fishstick like me." He said, booping his nose.

"I'm sorry you went through that, coffee bean. That's a pretty sad origin story. You might as well become a superhero. Or a villain. You choose."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Yeah, except I’ve got no powers. And I’m not that smart. Or athletic. So being the news guys is fine by me” Jay shrugs “If anything you have every right to be a villain, but you’re not. That’s good”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade shurgged.

He took a sip of his beer and he leaned back in his seat.

"I'm not much of a hero, either, believe me." He said, looking down at his hands.

"I'm a diva" he said, winking.

[caspian-vares]

Caspian entered the rented warehouse with his camera on his chest and his equipment in the bag strapped across his shoulder. He didn't exactly... look like a photographer, with his stormy purple/grey/black sleeve tatto, undercut, and snake bite piercings... honestly he looked more like a hoodlum that stole a bunch of shit from a real photographer.

Caspian dug into his pocket for a moment to double check the address... yeah this was the right place. Good. With a small breath he gently dropped the equipment bag on the floor and started setting up his lighting. He preferred to work with analog, and that needed a bit more setup than digital.

After he was done setting up, testing everything out, all he had left to do was wait. Couldn't exactly be called a photoshoot without someone to shoot after all.

@chimichangaboy69

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool strolled in like he owned the place, his mask pulled up just enough to reveal a mouth full of chips. He pauses mid-chew, squinting at the setup.

"Wow. All this just for little ol’ me? I feel like a Kardashian. Should I pout? Smolder? Ooh, ooh—how about I do that thing where I look off into the distance like I just heard someone say 'Chimichangas are canceled'?"

He went for an overly dramatic pose, still munching loudly. "Wait, hold on—do I have to pay for these headshots? 'Cause I left my wallet in another dimension."

Of course, he was joking.

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Ugh, I needed this… thanks Red” Jay starts on his portion, trying not to notice Wade’s face

[chimichangaboy69]

"Alright, Jay," he muttered, staring out the window of the small, busy restaurant.

"Let’s get this over with, mhm? Let me take this off so you can get your daily dose of horror and I can pretend not to notice when you're trying not to look." He paused, glancing at Jay out of the corner of his eye.

"Then we can eat like normal people. Well, as normal as we can get."

With a shrug, Wade reached for his mask. He hesitated for a second, but then he pulled it off completely with a quick motion.

His face was a map of tragedy an survival.

Wade's brown eyes finally stared back into Jay's tired ones.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay took a few seconds to look over Wade’s face before returning to his nachos

“Burns, right?” Jay asked calmly, not reacting as much as Wade expected

[chimichangaboy69]

"Burns. El cancer. Mutation. You call it, bean." He said, grabbing his burrito and taking the first bite.

"How's your food?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Real good, thanks” Jay smiled, yawning a little but still seeming more awake than earlier “Don’t worry about freaking me out okay? Your face isn’t that bad”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Not that bad? Baby you haven’t seen the rest. My dick looks like a burnt hot dog." He said, chuckling.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay chuckled, putting a hand over his mouth “TMI doesn’t exist for you huh?”

“…but I mean it. I uhh… I’ve seen similar”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Mhmh. It does not." Wade shook his head, and he continued eating.

"Yeah?? Like what?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The crack whore herself, my mother. House fire. I was 12. Messed up her face. I just got stuck with these” Jay pulled up his shirt a little to show old burn scars across his stomach before pulling it back down

[chimichangaboy69]

"Heh. Well, luckily you didn't become a burnt fishstick like me." He said, booping his nose.

"I'm sorry you went through that, coffee bean. That's a pretty sad origin story. You might as well become a superhero. Or a villain. You choose."

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Ugh, I needed this… thanks Red” Jay starts on his portion, trying not to notice Wade’s face

[chimichangaboy69]

"Alright, Jay," he muttered, staring out the window of the small, busy restaurant.

"Let’s get this over with, mhm? Let me take this off so you can get your daily dose of horror and I can pretend not to notice when you're trying not to look." He paused, glancing at Jay out of the corner of his eye.

"Then we can eat like normal people. Well, as normal as we can get."

With a shrug, Wade reached for his mask. He hesitated for a second, but then he pulled it off completely with a quick motion.

His face was a map of tragedy an survival.

Wade's brown eyes finally stared back into Jay's tired ones.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay took a few seconds to look over Wade’s face before returning to his nachos

“Burns, right?” Jay asked calmly, not reacting as much as Wade expected

[chimichangaboy69]

"Burns. El cancer. Mutation. You call it, bean." He said, grabbing his burrito and taking the first bite.

"How's your food?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Real good, thanks” Jay smiled, yawning a little but still seeming more awake than earlier “Don’t worry about freaking me out okay? Your face isn’t that bad”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Not that bad? Baby you haven’t seen the rest. My dick looks like a burnt hot dog." He said, chuckling.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay chuckled, putting a hand over his mouth “TMI doesn’t exist for you huh?”

“…but I mean it. I uhh… I’ve seen similar”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Mhmh. It does not." Wade shook his head, and he continued eating.

"Yeah?? Like what?" He asked.

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Ugh, I needed this… thanks Red” Jay starts on his portion, trying not to notice Wade’s face

[chimichangaboy69]

"Alright, Jay," he muttered, staring out the window of the small, busy restaurant.

"Let’s get this over with, mhm? Let me take this off so you can get your daily dose of horror and I can pretend not to notice when you're trying not to look." He paused, glancing at Jay out of the corner of his eye.

"Then we can eat like normal people. Well, as normal as we can get."

With a shrug, Wade reached for his mask. He hesitated for a second, but then he pulled it off completely with a quick motion.

His face was a map of tragedy an survival.

Wade's brown eyes finally stared back into Jay's tired ones.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay took a few seconds to look over Wade’s face before returning to his nachos

“Burns, right?” Jay asked calmly, not reacting as much as Wade expected

[chimichangaboy69]

"Burns. El cancer. Mutation. You call it, bean." He said, grabbing his burrito and taking the first bite.

"How's your food?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Real good, thanks” Jay smiled, yawning a little but still seeming more awake than earlier “Don’t worry about freaking me out okay? Your face isn’t that bad”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Not that bad? Baby you haven’t seen the rest. My dick looks like a burnt hot dog." He said, chuckling.

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Ugh, I needed this… thanks Red” Jay starts on his portion, trying not to notice Wade’s face

[chimichangaboy69]

"Alright, Jay," he muttered, staring out the window of the small, busy restaurant.

"Let’s get this over with, mhm? Let me take this off so you can get your daily dose of horror and I can pretend not to notice when you're trying not to look." He paused, glancing at Jay out of the corner of his eye.

"Then we can eat like normal people. Well, as normal as we can get."

With a shrug, Wade reached for his mask. He hesitated for a second, but then he pulled it off completely with a quick motion.

His face was a map of tragedy an survival.

Wade's brown eyes finally stared back into Jay's tired ones.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

Jay took a few seconds to look over Wade’s face before returning to his nachos

“Burns, right?” Jay asked calmly, not reacting as much as Wade expected

[chimichangaboy69]

"Burns. El cancer. Mutation. You call it, bean." He said, grabbing his burrito and taking the first bite.

"How's your food?"

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Ugh, I needed this… thanks Red” Jay starts on his portion, trying not to notice Wade’s face

[chimichangaboy69]

"Alright, Jay," he muttered, staring out the window of the small, busy restaurant.

"Let’s get this over with, mhm? Let me take this off so you can get your daily dose of horror and I can pretend not to notice when you're trying not to look." He paused, glancing at Jay out of the corner of his eye.

"Then we can eat like normal people. Well, as normal as we can get."

With a shrug, Wade reached for his mask. He hesitated for a second, but then he pulled it off completely with a quick motion.

His face was a map of tragedy an survival.

Wade's brown eyes finally stared back into Jay's tired ones.

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Nah, I've kinda grown attached to him. Like that one family member who's annoying but you feel bad for. Used to always be me, nice change of pace. Plus he pays me well when we're not drowning in lawsuits from the fucking President's PR team... ugh..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded, crossing his arms as he spoke.

He was actually listening.

"Well I can still scare him a bit, so he gets off your ass for a while." He offered.

Finally, their food arrived.

Wade raised his mask back up to his nose to start eating his portion of nachos.

"Dig in, coffee boy."

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I know I just... am busy. I don't think I've gone out to eat in months because Mr Fucking Jameson keeps posting libel on the company website and I have to keep doing damage control. I'm basically his PR since he's too much of a tight ass to pay for any more people"

Jay didn't question the mask, but was more confused how Wade planned to eat

[chimichangaboy69]

"That’s fuckin bullshit. You want me to beat his ass?" He asked, leaning against his hand with his chin

[chimichangaboy69]

Jay didn’t exactly expect ‘kidnapping’ on his list of shit that would happen to him that week, yet here he was duct taped to a chair in some warehouse in god knows where, New York. This is where a job in journalism would get you if you weren’t careful

“Listen dude I didn’t realise your crime thing was involved in that okay? I promise I won’t say anything. I just was-“

A lot of yelling from outside the door cut Jay off, as he looked up to see someone- no okay Deadpool? Actually Deadpool?

“Thank god, I’m saved…”

Deadpool walked in, stereo on his shoulder, playing a tape of the song "Baby one more time."

"Alright, fuckers. What is going on h-" Wade gasped and froze, placing the stereo on the ground.

"COFFEE BEAN? No no. This won't do. Who the FUCK is messing with *my* precious coffe bean???"

And just like that, Wade got into the fight with his usual modus operandi: chaos and violence, with awful music in the background.

After knocking the last man to the ground, he cleaned his hands on the costume and raised his mask up to his nose.

"Coffee bean!" He said, hugging Jay, who was still tied up.

Wade kissed his cheek, before releasing him from the duct tape.

"What happened?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I got kidnapped, what does it look like?” Jay looked around at the mess “You’re a very violent guy…”

He stood up, rubbing his skin where the duct tape had been “Worst part is, I’m late for work now”

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade snorted and he put the stereo to the ground.

"Wonder who I stole this from." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, you were kidnapped. But what were you doing in the 1st place?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“The stupidest career anyone could ever pick… journalism” He practically shuddered, rubbing his eyes “My boss sent me on some investigation thing into some not real mutant crime gangs and I accidentally ran into a real, non mutant crime gang…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, this really sucks." He said, shaking his head.

"Listen, Mocha baby. Here's what we're gonna do: find some good evidence. Eat something. Go back to Jameson and give him all we collected. I can be veeery persuasive."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“Don’t bother. I’ll just say it was Spider-Man blocking the road or something, he’ll believe me” Jay stretches, sighing wearily

[chimichangaboy69]

"C'mon! We gotta tryyyyy. And I'm not taking no for an answer. Do your stupid awful job and I'll think of the food. And I'll give you a ride." He said, crossing his arms.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"...Fine, but you're paying. I haven't got that kinda money" Jay gave in, food did sound nice

[chimichangaboy69]

"Of course, I'll be your...sugar daddy, for today, macho macchiato." He said, pinching his cheek playfully.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"You are... very strange... oh and they also took my stuff I need to find my bag and whatever..."

[chimichangaboy69]

Deadpool looked around. He kicked a man in the face - the thug moaned in pain at the violent kick.

The merchenary picked up the bag he was holding.

"Perk up, buttercup...this yours?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"Yeah, thanks Red" Jay took the backpack, making sure all his stuff was in it before putting it on

[chimichangaboy69]

As soon as Jay was done colletting evidence and police was on the place, Wade dragged the tired journalist with him to his favorite spot to eat.

"C'mon bud, what do you want to eat?" He asked.

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t mind, whatever you’re getting I’ll get”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Oh for fuck's sake!!! Order something you like." He said, shaking the man lightly.

"You can't rely on my charm for everything. Be original."

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

“I don’t eat much! Plus I’m indecisive. Also… uhh… the bad guys broke my glasses so I can’t actually read anything…”

[chimichangaboy69]

"Damn, babyboy. Seems like daddy's gonna have to fix this one, huh?" He said.

Wade made sure Jay found a seat and then he ordered for the both of them.

He sat down at the booth with the other man.

"So, are you...actually fine?" He asked.

"You don’t seem too convinced. Anything you need to tell me about those bastards who got you?"

[caffeine-fuelled-editor]

"I mean yeah. They just looked intimidating for a while. Kept arguing about 'should we ask the boss what to do' in the most stereotypical way imaginable. Like if I'm gonna get captured at least let my captors be original" Jay shrugged, shaking his head a bit to try and stay awake

[chimichangaboy69]

Wade nodded softly. He hadn’t taken his mask off, fully.

He didn’t need people to stare even more at his fuckin ugly face.

"Look, some food will be good for you, coffee bean."