FEELINGS

[therosegoldwriter]

Sometimes understanding comes to you not through thought, but through this throbbing of the heart, this tenderness in the chest that hurts.

Ken Liu | Ghost Days

[feral-ballad]

Elizabeth Acevedo, from The Poet X; “God”

[Text ID: “Sometimes I feel / my life would be easier / if I didn’t feel like such debt / to a God / that don’t really seem / to be out / here checking for me.”]

[chinesefiction]

Pain fuels irrationality

The world I belong too is kind to irrational

But only when convenient.

[funnytwittertweets]

[devotion2]

When you drink a hot beverage and you feel the heat spilling and blooming in your chest… There is nothing like it!

[chinesefiction]

@postcorporeal

[tsun-zaku]

夢野久作全集7 暗黒公使　

ちくま文庫　

カバー装画・竹中英太郎「こうもり変化」

[chinesefiction]

@a-sputnik

[pinkstarlightcomputer]

Tamie Okuyama “From the Moon“

[chinesefiction]

“We can come back!”

[mothcomrade-deactivated20251025]

everyone reblog and tag ur top three fruits i want to know

[fordarkmornings]

Pan Yuliang  -  Women Peeking from the Window,  1968 

Chinese, 1895-1977 

Ink on paper

[weltenwellen]

Sandra Cisneros, In an Interview with Krista Tippett

[diagst]

“I bear the wounds of all the battles I avoided.”

— Pessoa

[chinesefiction]

September 2020

[chinesefiction]

Dylan is asleep

Lucy is asleep making little soft fart snores

I am awake

While I am smiling at them asleep so gently asleep

I wish I could too

[chinesefiction]

I low key feel like I’m going to constantly just explode and give up. It’s a background nagging.

I’m really struggling with pain and reducing my pain medication is really messing with my capabilities of managing stress, pain and labour emotionally and physically.

Sleep is critical and I haven’t had a proper nights sleep in too long. As I write this I know for a fact my partner is being kept awake despite being so tired and having a full day when he gets up which fills me with guilt.

Anxiety is already hard to manage, real life stresses,responsibilities and pandemic eccentuate those anxieties.

Pain eccentuates stress, side effects eccentuate pain and lack of sleep. Everything builds up.

Reponsbililiies as a person of my family, my culture, to my partner and as a POC person a part of a incorporated built with many flaws which has become a weight to bare is really taking a huge toll on me.

Consistently daily I feel like a machine. I’m obvious very sick of it and I feel distant and detached.

I just want to feel valued. Proper. A break emotionally. I am loved but I don’t feel loved.

[chinesefiction]

I am exhausted.

I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibilities and things to do that envelop my mind and body. On top of that my pain and side effects of medication are making these responsibilities difficult to manage mentally and as a result, physically more so too. 

I feel like in order to get things done I need to prioritise, do it, organise, problem solve, lead, so that I can get those things done in order to “balance” them with my own work as well as actually get the things done. I hate seeing things just .. get left and eventually become accumulative work which if i’m involved, in my experience is more work for me.  I feel to keep myself ok I need to do things for myself but they are to my detriment. I feel undervalued but I also have a weight of things that just ...will make you feel undervalued. 

[chinesefiction]

July - June 2/2