Royally Confused About Life

They/Them ~ Ace   I have no specific fandoms that I will be sticking to so be prepared for most anything to pop up here. 

[masteraqua]

i flipping hate ao3's layout there's too many goddamn words

[masteraqua]

you know what i deserve this

[libraford]

Googled something about quick hydration and it suggested big jug of water, couple tbsp pickle juice, dash of lime juice.

Its surprisingly tasty????

[libraford]

Pleased to report that after a day of this i am not longer craving caper brine and my mouth is not dry as usual. There's some good suggestions in the notes too that I want to try.

-ancient roman posca: water, red or white wine vinegar, honey, salt, herbs (coriander, mint, thyme)

-switchel: water, ginger, vinegar, sweetener, lemon, salt

-ayran: yogurt, water, salt, mint

-Agua pepino: water, cucumbers, lime, sugar, optional mint.

[libraford]

I have been reminded of:

-shrub: vinegar, sida water, elderberry (or other berry), sugar.

[libraford]

I have now been informed of

-sekanjabin: honey, vinegar, mint, water.

[libraford]

"Wow, I wonder why this post was popular this week."

-sees the reports of the heatwave in Europe-

"... ah."

[cephalophor]

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

[nakedinasnowsuit]

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

[thewitchway]

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

[careful-crow]

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

[adventuretfox]

He killed his yonger brother in cold blood because he was jealous of him. There is in no way anything funny about this. No hesitation just poped a rock over his turned head, droped his body over the edged and tried to lie to god about what he did. FUCK YALL CRAZIES!!!

[funkyness]

oh are those the receipts, Cain is problematic now?

[bprinny]

Cainceled 

[kraetys]

This post gets worse every reblog

[this-account-is-a-mistake]

yet im not Abel to scroll past

[schmuckered]

This post hit me like a rock to the head

[nikkoliferous]

This is the quality content that keeps me on Tumblr

[taumoebros]

mysterious next door neighbors~

bonus:

[sawed-on-shotgun]

the human body when you use it and exist in it

[maliinka]

oh to have a big hot ice demon in this heatwave 🥀🥀🥀

[chemsexholmes]

Unfortunately you will talk like a tumblr user for your entire life. Sorry.

[scribblyspaceskeleton]

[warriorsmurf]

Unfortunately your kids might also talk like Tumblr users. My daughter said "Get cherished, idiot" to her cat yesterday.

[xylocopae]

starting a collection

[tearlessrain]

funniest possible site to get this on

[itsoverfeeling]

ppl on ao3 should use the "this work was inspired by" option more. so many fics out there that put links to other fics in the a/n but theres a better option.....

☝️ use this!!!!!!

[itsoverfeeling]

important addition i forgot that not everyone might know. similar to how ao3 bookmarks work, you can also link to non-ao3 fanworks using this format. so, for instance, if theres some fanart on tumblr that inspired you to write the fic? you can link that fanart to your fic!

[proteusolm]

The Ojibwe nailed it. Wawa is exactly the right name for a goose.

[haha-cluck]

Our language is so right about so many animals. One of my favorites is the word for wolf: Waawoono (Wah-wu-no). That is absolutely the noise that wolves make lmao

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

i was gonna say “wow, they’re really pushing the came back wrong trope because buffy keeps repeating the exact phrase” until i googled and realise the phrase “came back wrong” literally originates from buffy. this show is like the modern shakespeare

[aphony-cree]

in 2004 a thread started on buffistas.org to discuss tropes used in Buffy and other Whedonverse shows. At the time there were no formal names for most tropes so users assigned them names based on the scenes they were discussing. This thread inspired one of the site members to start the website TVTropes.org

Most of the listings on TVtropes were named after scenes and quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

[heybluechild]

what learning fandom history is like

(and if it's not btvs, as people in the tags have noted, it's star trek or the x-files)

[howling-wizard2]

carnivore on carnivore ccomfort

[bastart13]

What I’d give for one of the Cinderella remakes to go into how when you’re in an isolated and abusive situation, sometimes you need to be saved and you’re not weak if you can’t escape by yourself

I’ve never been a fan of bad faith reinterpretations of fairy tales, especially ones which flatten the originals into “princesses is saved by a prince and nothing else”, to then go #girlboss. The princess can save herself because she’s a strong female character! (Implying if you’re in a bad situation, it’s because you’re not strong enough to get out)

[amozon28]

Also the concept of the Prince over the course of like… a couple hours hanging out with Cinderella  going from ‘Haha nice I really like you’ to ‘oh fuck i can tell from context clues alone that your home situation is FUCKED UP’   it’s good shit   ‘I have just met you but ON GOD I’m gonna get you out of there beautiful mystery woman’   cinderella  makes desperately yelling into the night ‘how can I find you again!??!’ when she’s taking off that much more poignant really

[hamelin-born]

#okay this is genius#I love this#love at first sight is a tough sell#but ‘I just met you but you are so clearly in desperate need of help that I am already planning where to hide the bodies’#is a trope I absolutely love#going from hello to ride or die in a matter of hours#isn’t a ‘you’re hot’ thing#it’s a ‘my fellow human is trapped and suffering and every instinct I have is screaming its need to help’ thing

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic

[darkspaceboytoy]

Look I think it is commendable to write a book. That takes work no matter what. But man are there some bad ones out there.

[darkspaceboytoy]

Folks I won’t say it again all authors must be killed

[tanadrin]

So one of the things that can apparently contribute to kidney issues in cats is if they eat too much dry food and don't drink enough water; cats are adapted to get a lot of their water from their food since they're originally desert animals, and might not get enough water if they don't eat wet food. Unfortunately, Dozy won't eat wet food no matter what; she categorically refuses to touch the stuff. So a few months ago, we were looking for ways to get Dozy more fluids, and my wife noticed at the pet store a cat drink--basically meat broth with some floaty bits in--that was low-protein and meant for cats with kidney issues. So we figured, worth a try, right?

Great news: she loved it. Super tasty apparently. Great success. Along with the kidney-sensitive treats we found, it was a nice way to supplement her diet. Unforseen long-term consequence though: she loved it so much she began demanding it throughout the day. Like, would come up to us and meow, and meow, and meow, and not stop, until we got up, went to the kitchen, and got her some cat drink.

And by doing so on demand, we have unfortunately created a monster: no matter what we are doing at home, Dozy knows that if she sits next to you and meows, 1) you know what she wants, and 2) you know that she will not stop until you get it for her now. And when you do get it, she gets extremely excited. She will bum rush the kitchen door as you enter. She will run around your feet as you open the can. She will let out the creakiest, crunchiest, most nails-on-the-chalkboard meow you've ever heard if she thinks you're not going fast enough.

I do not begrudge her this. It is gratifying to care for a creature whose most ardent desires are so simple that it is this easy to fulfill them. But I am a little sad, because I know in my heart that I have never loved any comestible as much as she loves this cat drink. She has a pleasure of a purity and intensity that I will never know.

[the creacher in question]