Thoughts Behind a Smile [Choi & Kai]
Kai just about jumped out of his skin at the sudden sound of a voice, the sound startling him since he had just been sure he was alone. He quickly lifted his head to stare at the other man for a moment before he attempted to discreetly wipe away his tears, his automatic smile already forced back onto his face even as a twinge of guilt hit him for being caught doing something like smoking. Or, well - technically he wasn’t smoking anymore, but it was still obvious enough that he had been.
He pushed himself to sit up and instead drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin on his knees. “No, it was fine. It was really good, actually… It’s when it wears off is the problem,” he said with a small laugh. “But I guess all good things must come to an end, right?” Man, that was more true than he had meant it to be. That didn’t just involve being high, but everything - his friends, his comfortable life at the academy, these shorts and giddy hours…
A sigh seeped from his lips and he slumped in his seat a bit, almost letting himself get lost in his dark thoughts one more but belatedly he remembered that he wasn’t alone and pushed the smile back on his face, shrugging, “But it’s whatever, nothing I can’t handle. What are you doing out here at this time of night? It’s pretty obvious what I’m doing, so… You can share too, right?” He paused a moment before quickly adding, “I-if you’re alright with it, of course. I don’t mean to… Push any buttons, or anything like that. I’m sorry, I say stupid stuff all the time cause I’m an idiot.”
He didn't mean to startle the other, but he chuckled at the response. He frowns when he saw the kid wipe his tears away, but then regained his poker face. He didn't want the kid to notice his expression, making the situation worse. To be honest, he didn't care about the weed. He did his time smoking a couple decades ago. The problem was the other stench smelled within the weed.
He studied the kid's expression as he talked. But he didn't need too. The kid had bottled himself up making himself looked more depressed, to the point where he didn't even notice. He laughed at the other comment, "That's the whole objective of getting high kid. It's like, You're as high as a bird, but you can't stay up there forever. But for that moment, you feel bliss." He smiled at a memory of his younger self smoking. "All good and bad things come to an end, yes. Life would get boring if it didn't." He tried to brighten up the other mood. But he knew what it meant for everything around you to come crashing down, feeling lost, out of control.
He had stopped talking for a couple minutes, at this time he had walked over and sat himself on the bench next to the kid. He stared at the empty place the other got lost in. Tabi could almost see what the other was thinking. No he could feel it. Before he could get over whelmed by the darkness the other spoke, knocking him back into consciousness. He laughed again, shaking his head. "You're not pushing any of my buttons, I don't think I have any. And curiosity doesn't make you stupid kid." Tabi pulled another cigarette out of his pocket then lit it up. During this time he was thinking of a lie. " I needed to get out of my dorm, I wanted to walk around the campus, Get some fresh air." He unnoticeablely lied. "I'm also kind of nocturnal. I have a hard time sleeping at night so I'm always up. But besides smoking, why are you up? Isn't past your bed time kid?" Tabi chuckled before taking another puff of his cancer stick.
