Chris Cassar

[chrisemrysfics]

Hello!

I'm here today because I need to ask for help, I'm giving a bit of life update for context (or full context if you didnt know me), but yeah I'd really love if you could take a few moments of your time to read, and consider whether or not you can and are willing to offer me financial support in the realms of what's possible for you. If not, I hope you can at least consider a reblog, though a reblog is welcomed even if you do help me financially!

If you don't know me, storytelling and writing is in my lifeblood, I do it out of love for my ideas, sharing for the sake of those that will enjoy what I have to share, which is why I chose to be indie (not let anyone else "control" or "rule" my passion) and also to share my works for free. I share online (site: chriscassar.carrd.co , note that I mean to revamp how it looks like, but the url will still be the same) and I simply set up Ko-Fi, Patreon and Paypal for those that wish to support me financially in my journey. You can follow the links directly now if you want, but I advise to read the rest of the post, for the context but also for the "gift for gift" option if you do end up supporting me financially!

(I also say it at the end, but I'm putting that part here too: For the support, any amount is welcomed. I'm making this a one time post I'll reblog from times to times, but if you're curious to keep an eye on me, and/or offer regular support, you can follow my indie writer blog (chriscassarcentral) and/or bookmark the pages you want to remember to check! )

Context

I started with fictional writings, but expanded into non-fiction, I'm working on two major projects (one for each domain), and a possible third secret project (too soon to truly decide if it'll happen or not, although I do want to make it happen if I can). In parallel to that, I'm a caretaker for my mother, which mean I had to learn to balance out caring for her, working on my writings, and self-care. For the past year or so, I've got more on my hands because my mom and I offered to house my datemate (my polyam way of calling someone I'm dating who isn't yet a life partner in my head). He has a son who is little, and it's not always easy, especially as it's gotten a bit harder for three adults and a little kid to live under the same roof (that isn't big enough to give everyone their own "proper space"). We do get along well, but it's just not an easy situation. I say that because its been affecting my ability to work on my ideas and projects, as well as pop online, but eventually, I'll find my footing, and I'll be less quiet online~!

Now, the reason I'm reaching out for help is because my personal financial situation is changing. I'm lucky enough to be housed by my mother, and that her and my brother are very supportive. I'm not going to be kicked out, and we aren't going to be without money. However, I had a financial aid from the government (not enough to sustain myself, but enough to participate in food expenses and have finances in my own name), which until recently, hadn't caused me issue. It's subjected to a contract in relation to "justifying" you fit the criteria to be given the aid, but until now, the people I had to meet to sign the contract wrote down I was a caretaker as well as an indie writer, that neither gave me a "proper income to sustainn myself" and that was that. The contract was signed, this was enough to justify the aid, and me having it added some breathing room to our finances.

I think you can see where I am going. The justification isn't working anymore. It's not enough in their eyes anymore than I'm a caretaker as well as an indie writer. I was told about figuring out a part time activity to "mollify the superiors" so I can keep the aid. This mean adding a third activity into my life, which takes away time and energy for the ones I'm already doing, but here's the thing: I wouldn't earn more. They literally want me to work a third activity for the same amount of money they were giving before.

We spoke with my mother, and we decided this is not worth it. I care too much about her well-being, I care too much about my writings and what I'm doing with my life. I'm not going to risk either to "mollify" those that decided whether or not to give this aid. I'm also so damn angry because I'm lucky enough I can tell "no thank you", because I can't help thinking of all the people who have asked this aid and cannot refuse signing the contract if the conditions aren't working out for them. All the people who might end up following paths they aren't really wanting to do, just because they need the aid and don't have the support to say no to what feels unfair to them and/or doesn't fit them.

So if it wasn't clear: I said no. They still want to see me next week, supposedly they game me time to think about it. But I know I'll say no. The moment I decided, I realized how badly I had been feeling due to the constant need to justify myself to whoever I was meeting to keep the aid. And I realized I wanted genuine support. I had fogotten why my works are free to access: I wanted to work solely with genuine support given freely. So I'm going to say no, my family and I are going to support each other. And in that same spirit, I'm asking for support.

Supporting me&Gift for gift option

If you can and are willing to, the biggest support you can give is monthly, which I receive via Patreon.

In the spirit of giving freely and receiving from freely given support, but still showing gratitude for monthly support, the perks I give on Patreon are previews and early access. You get a bonus from monthly support, you're the first to see new stuff, but eventually it gets shared publically, so I stay true to my wish to give freely my works. Note that I had revamped my Patreon at one point, but haven't had anything to share since then, but I plan to "revive" it properly when I'll have new things to share!

If monthly isn't going to be for you, but you still wish to support me, Ko-Fi works for one-time giving, though you can use Paypal directly, too.

I've been doing "gift for gift" whenever I ask for help, which is not a commission because you aren't paying for a service, you're gifting me support, and you can choose not to ask, but if you ask, I can gift you something in return for the help. I've been considering making it a permanent thing, whether it's via Patreon or Kofi/Paypal, that anyone who gives me financial support, can ask for a little gift.

I'll see about whether or not I do a permanent "gift for gift" option, how it'll be if I do, but either way, right now, I'm open to gifting you something if you choose to support me on Patreon and/or Kofi and/or Paypal. I can do writings (fandom, original, fiction, non fiction), and another thing I can do is card reading (guidance). This is to give an idea of what I know I can do, but you can just ask if you're not certain or have another idea in mind, and I'll tell you if I can! In the same way, the length, etc, we'll just discuss everything together for your gift!

For the support, any amount is welcomed. I'm making this a one time post I'll reblog from times to times, but if you're curious to keep an eye on me, and/or offer regular support, you can follow my indie writer blog (chriscassarcentral) and/or bookmark the pages you want to remember to check!

Thank you for you time, no matter what you do after, it means a lot you took the time to read ♥

[ellipsus-writes]

We’ve just released a new way to share your work, Ellipsus fam...

Introducing the Reader!

What is the Reader?

A Reader link is Ellipsus’ dedicated public sharing mode—built for reading. It gives your public work a focused format designed specifically for your audience. Now, you can:

Share a Reader link from the Share & export panel (with preview access anytime).

Set access levels 🔐:

Public: Anyone with the link can read.

Partial: Collaborators only.

Private: Owner only (just you).

Choose whether your text can be copied, or not. 🔒

Decide whether readers can interact by giving Props (applause) to show their love (as many times as they'd like; no account required). 👏

Set your theme of choice, or allow readers to choose their own theme.

Show estimated reading time, and accessible fonts.

If you’ve shared a public link before, no prob—older public links will safely redirect to the new Reader view. (You can opt out of the new format if you'd like.) Bookmarks and shared links will continue to work. Everything private stays private, and your collaborator permissions will stay exactly as they are.

If you’re dropping a link to your story on socials, inviting feedback without handing over edit access, or circulating something share-ready with a group, the Reader lets you publish your work safely, on your terms.

Stay tuned for more improvements!

- The Ellipsus Team xoxo

[chriscassarcentral]

Yessss it's finally here!

This is what I had been waiting for to move everything to Ellipsus~!

The unlimited applause that doesn't need account is a great feature too!

So as can be guessed, I will be working on moving to Ellipsus in regards to sharing my works, I'm still using Carrd as my "central site" and directory, but my works will be read-able on Ellipsus once I complete the move!

Don't know when it'll be done, but when it'll be done, I'll make a post.

Thanks for your patience and stay tuned!

(And check out Ellipsus, even though I haven't yet tested everything or don't need every features, I already enjoy a lot what I did see, so I can only imagine how useful and great it can be for others~!)

[chriscassarcentral]

Hello!

Quick little words of update: I plan to move to @ellipsus-writes when it comes to sharing my works, I'm just debating whether I want to remove them from Google Docs as soon as possible even if I haven't done yet the move, or wait to have the space-time-energy to move to Ellipsus then remove it (and hope its soon I can do that).

I do plan to have my existing works all become "archives" as I will see to rework them into FGF for original fiction, and for non-fiction, they are already marked as "archived", so while I did want to keep my works accessible, I'm not sure I want to keep them on Google any longer that I need to. If I do end up removing them before I move to Ellipsus, I'm likely going to change to the new version of my site and make a note I'm working on finalizing things.

In parallel to that, I've been thinking of sharing my ideas and progress, likely via videos, which would give everyone the chance to choose between waiting for the "official writings" and checking out what I'm working on (I plan to do my best in "rating" each video on how much they might reveal about plot points, so you would also be able to choose what to watch or not if you want to keep some mystery). A part of me wants to do it because I don't know how long it will take to develop both projects of mine, and as much as I wish to play with the little mystery of seeing the stories unfold as I imagine them in mind, sharing the actual ideas matter more to me than "doing it perfectly". So yeah, I'm thinking about this too!

But my first priority will be moving to Ellipsus, and then we'll see!

Wish me luck!

[projectsbirthwaywish]

Last rush!/Dernier élan!

Hello!/Bonjour!

French after/Français après!

I wish I had been able to do more to promote the fundraiser, make more posts, however offline life has been hectic and I had no energy to do much except reblog to my other blogs (chriscassarcentral, chrisemrysfics, chrispersonalcorner, crossoverfamily).

With that said, it is 5:30 PM here, and I'm not revealing the fundraiser until at least 8 am tomorrow, if not later. So there's at least 15 hours left to try and raise awareness, receive in my inbox birthday messages, and hopefully donations!

The birthday messages can be very simple, especially as I didn't give too many details to respect my friend's privacy. It is a tricky balance, since I know people hope to know what the fundraiser is for, but my friend is a private person by nature, so I had to figure out what I can give, without taking the risk to betray his trust. I have to count of the trust of people who knows me from my other blogs, and know me online in general. A few of them know a bit more details, too. I won't tag specifically anyone to vouch for me, but I will tag a few people at the end I feel comfortable asking for help spread the last rush promotion!

Donations, too, don't have to be too big. Obviously, if you can and want to donate, do it in whichever amount you decide to do it. But any donation is welcomed, the same way it is welcomed if you cannot donate, but you help spread awareness of this, and/or leave a birthday message. Your help is vital to make this be something else than an idea!

My goal isn't to reach the fundraiser amount, although obviously this would be an amazing gift. What matters to me, however, is simply to show him people care. To give him back a bit of hope in the people of the world. So my goal is to get at the very least a few reblogs and some birthday messages, and if lucky, even a few little donations. If we get more, that's even better.

If you've taken the time to read this post, thank you!

And if you want to help me, consider what you can do and want to do, that is the best gift in my eyes. To know whatever you do, it's because you want to, not because you have to. I personally know what it's like to want to help and not be able to, so I understand why someone might remain silent, or feel like whatever they do, it isn't enough. Your time spend reading this is enough. If you care, that is enough.

So don't feel bad for what you cannot do, or could do but for any reason won't do!

And if you can and decide to do something, you know the main lines: spread awareness, leave birthday messages, and/or donate~!

Tagging a few people I know and interacted with before to various degree, that hopefully won't be bothered with this tag, and obviously don't feel obligated to do anything with this, this is simply to make sure I don't miss out on being seen by anyone that might have wanted to help!

@silva-daemonium @crystalmarred @ritualofcirice @ask-cross-marian @benicchiis @tracing-in-gold @pretty-bratty @satari-raine

French/Français:

J’aurais aimé pouvoir faire plus pour promouvoir la cagnotte, faire plus de billets, cependant la vie hors ligne a été chaotique et je n’ai pas eu l’énergie de faire grand chose sauf rebloguer sur mes autres blogs (chriscassarcentral, chrisemrysfics, chrispersonalcorner, crossoverfamily). Cela étant dit, il est 17 h 30 ici et je ne révélerai pas la cagnotte avant au moins 8 heures demain matin, sinon plus tard. Il me reste donc au moins 15 heures pour essayer de sensibiliser, recevoir dans ma boîte de réception des messages d’anniversaire et, espérons-le, des dons! Les messages d’anniversaires peuvent être très simples, surtout que je n’ai pas donné trop de détails pour respecter la vie privée de mon ami. C’est un équilibre délicat, car je sais que les gens espèrent savoir à quoi sert la cagnotte, mais mon ami est une personne privée par nature, alors j’ai dû trouver ce que je pouvais dire, sans prendre le risque de trahir sa confiance. Je dois compter sur la confiance des gens qui me connaissent de mes autres blogs, et me connaissent en ligne en général. Certains d’entre eux savent un peu plus de détails, aussi. Je ne vais pas les mentionner spécifiquement comme garantie, mais j'ai mentionné quelques personnes je me sens à l’aise de demander de l’aide pour répandre la promotion de dernier élan! Les dons n'ont pas besoin d'être trop importants. Évidemment, si vous pouvez et voulez faire un don, faites-le dans la mesure où vous décidez de le faire. Mais tout don est le bienvenu, de la même manière qu’il est accueilli si vous ne pouvez pas faire un don, mais que vous contribuez à répandre le mot et/ou laissez un message d’anniversaire. Votre aide est vitale pour faire de ceci quelque chose d’autre qu’une idée! Mon objectif n’est pas d’atteindre le montant de la cagnotte, bien que ce serait évidemment un cadeau incroyable. Ce qui compte pour moi, cependant, c’est simplement de lui montrer que les gens se soucient de lui. De lui redonner un peu d’espoir dans les gens de ce monde. Mon but est donc d’obtenir au moins quelques reblogs et des messages d’anniversaire, et si j’ai de la chance, même quelques petits dons. Si nous obtenons plus, c’est encore mieux.

Si vous avez pris le temps de lire ce billet, merci !

Et si vous voulez m'aider, réfléchissez à ce que vous pouvez et voulez faire, c'est le plus beau cadeau à mes yeux. Savoir que quoi que vous fassiez, c'est parce que vous le voulez, et non parce que vous le devez. Je sais personnellement ce que c'est que de vouloir aider et de ne pas pouvoir le faire, alors je comprends pourquoi quelqu'un peut rester silencieux, ou avoir l'impression que quoi qu'il fasse, ce n'est pas assez. Le temps que vous passez à lire ceci est suffisant. Si vous vous sentez concerné, c'est suffisant.

Alors ne vous sentez pas mal pour ce que vous ne pouvez pas faire, ou pour ce que vous pourriez faire mais que vous ne voulez pas faire pour une raison ou une autre !

Et si vous pouvez et décidez de faire quelque chose, vous connaissez les grandes lignes : sensibiliser, laisser des messages d'anniversaire, et/ou faire un don~ !

[projectsbirthwaywish]

Hello! If you know me, I'm Chris who runs chriscassarcentral, chrisemrysfics, crossoverfamily, and chrispersonalcorner~

This blog is dedicated to the fundraiser I've made as a birthday present to help a dear friend of mine in need!

As it is a birthday present, I'm also collecting birthday messages to give hope and well-wishes to him~!

The blog theme has basic infos, the about page speak of this a bit more, and the fundraiser itself is on gofundme!

The blog will have English and French, since I speak both languages, and my friend speak French~

Version Française du billet:

Bonjour! Si vous me connaissez, je suis Chris qui suit derrière chriscassarcentral, chrisemrysfics, crossoverfamily, and chrispersonalcorner~

Ce blog est dédié à la cagnotte que j'ai mis en place comme cadeau d'anniversaire pour aider un ami cher dans le besoin!

Comme c'est un cadeau d'anniversaire, je récolte aussi les messages d'anniversaires pour lui donner de l'espoir et des bons souhaits~!

Le thème du blog a les infos basiques, la page à propos parle de cela un peu plus, et la cagnotte elle-même est sur gofundme!

Le blog sera en Anglais et Français, car je parle les deux langues, et mon ami parle Français~

[chriscassarcentral]

Hi hello I've been quiet for a while, because I'm still working on stuff for my writings and since it made me reconsider what I share where, I haven't felt been able to finish the new version of my site (the current one works well enough for now), and I had other priorities in the past few weeks, and yes this is part of my other priorities right now!

Rest assured, things are progressing for FGF and non-fictional writing, but yeah, right now? I'm very much focused on helping my dear friend, and the post doesn't say it but the About mention it, my friend is coming to live with us, so the adjustment of it might play a part in being quiet!

I'm pretty excited about him moving in with us, I'm not worried at all, I'm just aware it can take a bit to get used to a new housemate, and who knows how it'll affect what we want to do on a daily basis.

But yeah, I'm the one organizing the fundraiser and running Project S, and like I said, right now I'm focused on helping my friend!

Wish us luck!

[chriscassarcentral]

Additional note: Although obviously the fundraiser is the central surprise, I want to emphasis I'm also collecting birthday messages in the dedicated blog inbox, so you can leave a message even if you cannot donate!

Or even if you can and decide to donate, you can leave a message too~!

And of course, I'll appreciate it if you reblog to spread the word, and speak about it/link to it outside of Tumblr if you want to go the extra mile!

[projectsbirthwaywish]

Hello! If you know me, I'm Chris who runs chriscassarcentral, chrisemrysfics, crossoverfamily, and chrispersonalcorner~

This blog is dedicated to the fundraiser I've made as a birthday present to help a dear friend of mine in need!

As it is a birthday present, I'm also collecting birthday messages to give hope and well-wishes to him~!

The blog theme has basic infos, the about page speak of this a bit more, and the fundraiser itself is on gofundme!

The blog will have English and French, since I speak both languages, and my friend speak French~

Version Française du billet:

Bonjour! Si vous me connaissez, je suis Chris qui suit derrière chriscassarcentral, chrisemrysfics, crossoverfamily, and chrispersonalcorner~

Ce blog est dédié à la cagnotte que j'ai mis en place comme cadeau d'anniversaire pour aider un ami cher dans le besoin!

Comme c'est un cadeau d'anniversaire, je récolte aussi les messages d'anniversaires pour lui donner de l'espoir et des bons souhaits~!

Le thème du blog a les infos basiques, la page à propos parle de cela un peu plus, et la cagnotte elle-même est sur gofundme!

Le blog sera en Anglais et Français, car je parle les deux langues, et mon ami parle Français~

[chriscassarcentral]

Hi hello I've been quiet for a while, because I'm still working on stuff for my writings and since it made me reconsider what I share where, I haven't felt been able to finish the new version of my site (the current one works well enough for now), and I had other priorities in the past few weeks, and yes this is part of my other priorities right now!

Rest assured, things are progressing for FGF and non-fictional writing, but yeah, right now? I'm very much focused on helping my dear friend, and the post doesn't say it but the About mention it, my friend is coming to live with us, so the adjustment of it might play a part in being quiet!

I'm pretty excited about him moving in with us, I'm not worried at all, I'm just aware it can take a bit to get used to a new housemate, and who knows how it'll affect what we want to do on a daily basis.

But yeah, I'm the one organizing the fundraiser and running Project S, and like I said, right now I'm focused on helping my friend!

Wish us luck!

[chriscassarcentral]

Hello!

I wanted to drop by and give a little hello, I briefly worked on my new site at some point in July-August, but the heat and helping tidy up our flat with mom meant my brain didn't really want to work too much.

With that said, I continued toying with ideas and some stuff have become clearer in my head, because apparently that isn't really "work" for my brain, so the good news is, when I'll finally get the headspace to properly note down stuff and work on my sites and also I still mean to do videos, well at least I have clearer ideas of what I'll be writing!

Note that I do hobby writing, which I'm pretty sure is because my brain loves being creative but can't always focus on my original stuff, so having hobby stuff allows to keep my "creative muscle" to be active with something it does want to play with; and this means sometimes I will take a break from original stuff to play with hobby stuff. However, playing with hobby stuff keeps my creative brain sharp, and pretty much allows my subconscious to play with my original stuff~!

In short: as always, if you don't see visible activity, I'm either playing with hobby stuff, doing "invisible work", or giving a rest to my creative brain. Sometimes I'm both semi-resting and semi hobby-creating, as I love being creative with replaying some games that are open world enough (Skyrim, BotW, even Pokemon SV) since I can play in different ways, and create ideas of the personality or make a story in my head out of it. For some gameplay, I even have notebooks to keep track of the "story points"!

So yeah, I'm pretty much always being creative, if nothing else I just daydream ideas, and it is visible results that take work to have~

With me luck!

(EDIT: noticed later the typo, but found it funny because it sounds like I'm summoning luck, so I'm keeping it visible. Obviously I meant "wish me luck!" but now I'm tempted to create an inside joke where I have a sign off for some stuff that's "with me, luck!" and only people who saw this post will know where it comes from~)

[chriscassarcentral]

Hello!

A little post to say that there's still a new version of my site that will eventually replace the one I have right now, and of course I'm still working on FGF plus my other main project Harmonia's Song (which you can glimpse in the previous post in the "progress update" tag)!

It's just that I had some self exploration done in June (I didn't even mean it but the timing was perfect), and there are so many rambles I need to do to settle down all my ideas into something I can share. FGF is massive, and Harmonia's Song is early in development but it requires figuring out a lot of things so there's lots of work going into too.

So yeah, just wanted to drop by and update on the quiet here is because I'm either working "in the background", or needing to rest my mind with hobby stuff or pure rest. But things are still very much progressing~!

Fun trivia: I have an agenda I use to note down a few words about what I rambled on for each date I made a journal file, both to find quicker what I might want to check again, and a way for me to visualize when I've worked on something, and some stuff is purely hobby, but a lot of it is for FGF or will help figure out Harmonia's Song, and let me tell you. That I vaguely knew I did often play with ideas. But there's nothing like actively being able to see how often you made a file to ramble about stuff to realize how much your brain is spazzing. Even when I see empty day(s), I know half the time it's just because I didn't write anything, but still vaguely toyed with ideas.

[chriscassarcentral]

I had a new follower on my hobby blog that stated “radfem sympathizer”, which my first reaction is to become a question mark, thinking “I guess maybe they didn’t see enough of my blog or fics to realize that ideology does not sympathize at all with mine”, shocked me so much I had double check into their blog if somehow I’m not reading wrong their bio, but nope I did see stuff that confirmed they agree with stuff that made my figurative hackles rise. Like, you know, invalidating trans women, trans “ideology”, or the inclusion of intersex people in the community.

There was one thing, however, that made me pause, because it raised a point I never thought deeper into, which has a certain irony because they accuse of not thinking deeper into something, but it’s their post that personally made me think deeper into it and think of counter argument. Which, you know, is opposite of what the post meant to do since supposedly they’re proving we can’t state two specific things at the same time (while using a trans woman as example, because of course that's going to be their target).

So the post in question criticize supposedly double thinking that doesn’t make sense, where you can’t state “gender is a social construct” at the same time as stating you are trans (or in this case, trans woman). That if you state the first thing, you’re supposedly “a man who likes to dress feminine, since gender is performative according to you”, and if you state the second thing, you’re “a woman in nature and it’s not performative/a construct”. What made me pause isn’t that I agreed, but that I realized I personally hadn’t thought about the nuance between the inherent feeling of your gender, and the aspect that is purely socially constructed.

Note that, obviously, this is what I feel like, it was a bit hard to word but I hope it’s expressed well enough. I realized that the statement “gender is a social construct”, for me, relates to the expectations others have about each gender, whereas the statement you personally make about how you feel about your gender, it’s just you expressing how you feel.

In other words, gender is an identity, the way you inherently feel about yourself, however gender has been given a social construct when we were weighed under expectations of how you are supposed to dress like, behave, etc depending on who you feel you are. To be specific, the social construct aspect of gender started as placing expectations on each newborn based on whether they were considered born masculine or feminine, then when the community made us aware of the rights of people who aren't cis, the social construct still remains lurking because it still places expectations on what you’re supposed to wear, be like, etc depending which gender you express your identity to be.

For example: expecting non-binary people to appear androgyn is a type of social construct since others expect people of a certain gender to “perform” a certain way to “fit” their perception of what the gender identity is. Another example: expecting trans women to be feminine is a type of social construct, as again, other people expect them to “perform” feminine. Not all people who have expectations mean ill, or might realize it, and it can be hard when you do realize it and try to not place expectations. Because for many generations our societies have placed expectations so it’s kind of hard programmed into us to expect all sorts of things. It’s a matter of recognizing all of that, and working to self-check, recognize that people of any identity can express themselves in any way they want.

So yeah, my conclusion is how “gender is a social construct” is a statement about others (the expectations others have of how each gender is supposed to be like is what “social construct” means), whereas gender identity and gender expression is all about you, and only you: who you feel you are inherently, and how you wish to personally express this. And how you wish you express who you are should not be limited in any way, you are who you are no matter what.

On a side topic: I do believe people can take time to figure out their identity, in large part due to all the social expectations, however the experiences of individuals does not invalidate the experience of others. For example, someone who realize they might not be cis, and identify as trans, yet later realizes they aren’t trans and are cis, does not invalidate all the people who are genuinely trans or “prove” anything in regards to this “just being a phase” or “just cis people trying to escape social construct”. This can be the real experience of cis people where they are uncertain, and I dare say it’s specifically because they spend time identifying as trans they were able to affirm they weren’t trans, and if they were never allowed to do this, they would have stayed uncertain. Still, ending up returning to identifying as cis doesn’t invalidate people who identity as trans and never change that, the same way never changing your identity doesn’t invalidate people who do end up changing the way they identity as.

So yeah, I didn’t expect myself to make a post like this today, but hey, I guess the timing is perfect, right? Happy Pride to all of you, whether allies or part of the community, closed or out, remember that your personal feelings of who you are and your experiences are valid, and how you want to express yourself is for you to choose!

[chriscassarcentral]

Hello!

So I have started working on the new version of my site not long ago, I didn't start sooner because I needed to work a bit more on what I wanted to do, as well as world-building for FGF. And now I have a lot more solid roots in what I mean to do, so it felt fitting to show up and make a little progress post!

I still want to see to do videos that will be another "social presence" like my blog, but I'll still be on this blog too~!

Below is a sneak peek of the new site, wish my luck finishing it all up!

[chriscassarcentral]

Hello!

A little word of update: I have realized that my current organization doesn't quite work for me, so I have been working on what type of content will go where. At the same time, it helped figure out a few details about my fictional stories, since brainstorming about that part of my site means thinking about what I share.

The rough idea of what can expect is this:

-> All fictional content will be on the same site/site section.

-> Non-fictional content (which will have its own site/section) will be personal sharing, sharing about my writings&being a writer, and philosophical (observations, speaking about topics).

-> Spiritual content (which will have its own site/section) is going to be the more personal approach, a space to share about the way I personally experience life, spiritual topics, and sharing what has worked for me.

Non-fictional and Spiritual content are meant to be viewed as a way for me to share about self-discovery and well-being. In the end, they all offer my perspective and experiences in various ways, allowing the reader to find what they relate with, and what they don't~!

And another important part about fictional content: I always considered all my fictional stories evolve in the same multiverse background (and I mean always as in "since I created my first original character in 2011"), even if I only started working on a "proper" story for it all in the past three/four years.

Why is this important? Because I have decided to "archive" all existing fictional stories, as I will work to incorporate these to FGF itself!

Some will simply become extra (little story that don't connect to the main storyline), while others are intended to be worked into the main storyline itself. I already have ideas of that, I just need to work out details, although who knows how it'll go. Sometimes "working out details" takes only a few days of my brain vibrating with creative juices, other times it takes a while. And that's without counting when new ideas surface and I need to rework my brainstorming.

Still, all I'll say is that things have been going well in working my ideas into cohesive plans~!

On a side note: the fact I will change organization of my site does mean I intend to redo my intro video on my video channels. Quite the fun luck in the end, that I never found the space to make more videos, since they would have been about an organization that is going to change. Another reason to trust it when my creative juices go "not yet" about something!

As you can guess, there is no knowing when you will see the changes happen. There is a lot to work out before I feel comfortable actively sharing about any type of content I plan to work with. Obviously, the first change you will witness is when I will rework my site, and make a new intro video for each channel (which are likely to end up being three, one for fictional content, one for non-fictional content, and one for spirituality).

Still, as always, you can trust that I have been working in the background~!

Thank you for your patience, and wish me luck!

[chriscassarcentral]

A follow up to previous post, as the topic touched there lead me to accept that I need to allow myself time to find my words.

I already knew that I've always felt more comfortable with texting, online chatting, compared to phone calls and direct physical conversations. And eventually I realized it was because it felt a bit stressing to "have" to find my words "quickly" during a direct conversation. Or said another way: I prefer the way most non-direct methods of communication mean I can take my time to express into words what I want to say.

Now that I sit here, it feels obvious that this expand to my writings. Yet, it took me a while to realize the reason it felt pressuring to follow schedules or "try to be active" is because I need to give myself the space and time to find the words to express my ideas. Sometimes, it might happen relatively quickly. Other times, not so much. At times, I need to do other things to let my creativity rest.

And a part of me knew I couldn't force out words. That my ideas would develop in their own time. That I wasn't the type of person who can sit in front of an open page and "words will eventually come". I do believe it can work for others, to take the habit to try anyway, or create space to write. For me, though? It doesn't. Instead, I have to trust that, when I don't force myself to do anything, when I don't pressure myself for anything, things will flow smoothly in their own pacing.

Which connects back to the topic of personal standards, how they apply in professional settings, and why it caused issue for me: I was accidentally trying to follow standards not my own. All around us, "professional" is portrayed as "productive", as "pushing yourself", as the general idea you need to work every day. Worse, it is made as if the public will loose interest if you do not produce in a "timely manner".

But none of these are my own standards. Yes, I want to offer quality, but to do so, I recognized I needed a healthy mindset. And all of the above? That was not healthy for me. So I rooted out every reasons I felt that way, made sure to find the words to express what I understood, then sometimes, like now, I share because it can help those that face similar issues.

In this case, it also allows me to express why I might sometimes be active relatively regularly, and why at other moments, a while can pass with nothing new. I can't begin to express how much I toy with my ideas almost daily. If it isn't one thing, it's another. Putting all of that into words and connecting all the stuff that needs to connect, though? That's not as easy. But it's my own personal standards that make me unwilling to share before I feel confident I have found my solid basis. There's no word to explain it, only a sense of knowing when there is something I can share.

And, in addition to that, I need to treat myself healthily, give myself space to unwind, relax. To not burn out my creativity, to not pressure myself with the vague sense of "I'm taking too long". Managing to do all that sincerely has been quite the work in progress, which I know I've gotten better at. Being able to express it all clearly and share it helps a lot, because now you, my reader/follower, knows. And my mind knows you know, or at least, that this post exist to explain.

On a side note: I will eventually make a video that will for on my non-fiction video channel, because this post and the previous one make together a decent little "essay" of sort!

[chriscassarcentral]

Hello~!

Invisible work has been continuing since my last post, however as you might notice, no perks happened since then. This is in part because my notes for FGF keep evolving, so I can't really share anything yet, and in part because I just don't have the energy to work on spiritual content or the "sneak peak at structure" perk.

I'm actually doing work on both FGF and spiritual content, but as mentioned, it's all what I call invisible work (toying with ideas, making notes, having new ideas, toying with said new ideas, new notes, etc).

So I have no idea when I'll be able to do the perks I wanted to do, or videos (as I still wish to make videos as my "main social presence"), but this is why I wanted to make a little post: to keep those that are keeping an eye on me updated~!

On a side note: I realized something and I thought I would share as it might help others who are in similar situation.

I have a legal status as a independent writer, I don't call myself "self-published" because I don't publish in the traditional sense. I share my works, I am an indie writer, but I chose to share for free, for my income to be solely donations and patronage.

I specify all that, because a mistake I made was to pressure myself into being as professional as possible. In my head, because I had a legal status, I had to do my best to reach perfection. I knew "perfection" is a harmful idea, so I told myself I was just doing my best at "being professional". Except I realized that this, too, is harmful.

I realized there's a difference between "being professional" and "having personal standards". For example, having personal standards is wanting my site to look nice and well-organized, at least in my perspective. Being professional is some sort of vague sense of "I need to be active in some way" and "I need to make updates if I'm not". Although, honestly, updates are also part of my personal standards.

But, yes, there is a difference between simply following personal standards, and seeking to reach whatever "being professional" mean. The thing is: I have no boss who demands me to be professional. I am the sole person who "demands" anything out of me. I'm the only one who decide how I will present myself.

Maybe there will be those that feel like I'm being professional when I'm just following my personal standards. Honestly, right now, the only difference is internal: to stop seeking that vague sense of "I need to be professional" mean I'll stop pressuring myself. In the past, I noticed the ways I was pressuring myself, but not the why. Now I know why. Now I can truly work on the root issue, knowing that any time I start to pressure myself, the actual issue is that I'm trying to follow a mindset that does not work for me.

And in a way, I wonder if "being professional" isn't, in fact, what I described: having personal standards. When you have a boss who demands a certain version of professionalism, in the end, it is their personal standards they are demanding you follow. Sometimes they fit your own personal standards, sometime they don't. But when you are your own boss?

It's just you, and your own personal standards. No one else can pressure you, but at the same time, it is up to you to not pressure yourself.

So yes, I've realized it's just me, my personal standards, and not pressuring myself. It's not necessarily a new realization, however as I mentioned, the actual cause was something I never truly noticed until now. A spiral that starts at "I have a legal status" to go into "I have to be professional" to finish into reaching for some sort of vague sense of "professionalism" that ended up as self-pressure.

And seeing it this way now, it's so clear why: when you think "professionalism", you think about some sort of attitude that is specific to the work place. Whoever you are outside of the work place tends to be "curated" to "fit" within the work place. This means that, when I thought to myself, "I have to be professional", I assumed I have to fit some sort of standards beyond my own. Except, I don't. I'm the only one who chose which standards apply to me.

Honestly, even if I had a boss, I wouldn't want to stay with one whose standards make me self-pressure constantly. However, not everyone can truly choose, or leave those situations. Still, I wanted to share, because no matter what your situation is, your personal standards matter. If you can, don't settle for a work place where you have to sacrifice your own personal standards. If you can't, at least remember that the pressure you feel, it's standards that aren't your own. Find your own standards, make sure to remind yourself of them, and where you can, follow your own standards.

If there is one thing I have learned in the past ten years, it is the importance of your own personal standards, your own moral values, and figuring our a healthy balance between efforts you do of any kind (emotional, mental, physical) and self-care.

I do like to joke, too, that the past ten years have been my "training years", and it's now that I am truly starting my career. Not just in term of "work habit", but in term of writings, how I share, and how I offer myself a chance to receive income in return. Figuring myself out, and feeling settled in myself. As a person, and as a writer.

I hope all this helps, and stay tuned, for I might have my own pace that's fickle at best and slow at not-so-best, but I know myself and I know I will always be inspired sooner or later. After all, the one constant is that, no matter what, I will never stop being creative~!

[chriscassarcentral]

Hello~!

Summer has been quite rough, the heat meant my brain did not want to work too much. Thankfully, it did not stop me from toying with my ideas, however it does mean that I didn't have the energy to do more than that. Beside, said ideas did go through adjustments, being refined more and more.

In the next few weeks, I will be working on what are likely going to be my two biggest projects: FGF, and everything that is spiritual content.

As both requires a lot of invisible work, it means there will not be much to show, and I'm not likely to have the space/energy to do other things (poor videos will have to wait more). I might still find the space to do other things, or be super lucky and do a lot in a day or two, but there is no guarantee.

However, I have ideas for one or two Patreon perk to share relatively soon: one would be a sneak peek into the structure of what I'll share in my spiritual corner; and the other would be "out of context" sneak peek of notes for FGF.

The second might take a bit longer to make, so I will see if I wait and post both sneak peek at the same time, or post the first one I finish then later post the second. In addition, I will keep these patron-only for at least a month, before making them public.

I am super excited though, because everything is coming together and I'm seeing more clearly what I'll be doing with FGF as well as my spiritual content. They are truly my passion projects, although the other little things matter to me too (finishing Bonds of Fate and writing the sequels to Mystic Quest, figuring out non-fiction stuff to share, videos, translations for accessibility to those who speak French but not English, the few ideas for collections and special series I hope to work on).

Still, FGF and my spiritual content are works that come from my heart, being worked because I love it all and I just want to share that love. It means they take priority, and I give myself rest, breaks, self-care to be at my best when I work on it.

So stay tuned, wish me luck, and thank you for your patience!

[chriscassarcentral]

Hello!

I just wanted to make a quick post since it's been a while and I haven't shown any activity since the last video I posted on my channels!

The fun part, I have been quite active! Except its all "invisible" work since it's been a lot of noting down ideas, finding new ideas, organizing my ideas again, plus I've been going between FGF notes and spiritual notes!

So as I said, I have been quite active, yet it's not anything I can show or speak about much since it's all still being organized (and what I do know, well, don't want to risk spoiling too soon~).

This does mean that I haven't had the space for video making, but sooner or later I know I'll sit down to do the videos I want to do. I also do want to make a proper French version of my sites, but we'll see when I get the space to work on that.

Honestly I am glad I decided to open this blog again, as it truly helps to be able to just do a quick text post, rather than try to gather the energy for a small video of update. I love having both ways of social presence~!

Wish me luck with my notes and everything else~!

[chriscassarcentral]

This blog is technically open again as I made my About and Tags page~!

I will keep things super simple here however, but yes, I'm back!

[chriscassarcentral]

Hello!

If you're seeing this, you might have found this blog one way or another, and it is because I know its possible someone will find this blog by chance that I wanted to make this little post~!

In November 2022, I decided to shift from regular blogging to video blogging, as such this blog is solely to preserve its existence in case one day I decide to try blogging here again.

You can find all the needed links on my site !

In case the link doesn't work out well, you can copy and paste the address instead, it is: chriscassar.carrd.co !

EDIT: I intend to return to light blogging here, stay tuned!