Pairing: MLB!Chris Evans x Best Friend!Reader (female character)
Summary: After 29 years of friendship with Chris, there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for him. When he finds himself in the midst of a PR nightmare at the same time your ex-boyfriend starts lurking around every corner, you enter into a mutually beneficial, strictly PR relationship to save his career and keep your ex away.
A/N: This series contains smut and darker themes that might be triggering and hard for some people to read,18+ only!! Please read the individual warnings listed on each part and remember that your mental health matters!
All of my fics post at 5:30pm CT. TIME ZONE CONVERTER HERE.
🔥 = smut
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All players and scenarios are made up completely. This story does not reflect things that actually happen in the MLB or with its players or with Chris in real life.
I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤
I no longer have a taglist! Please head over to @time-for-a-library and turn on notifications!
series pairings: steve x reader, bucky x reader, stucky x reader (eventual)
Part One Part Two
Warnings: swearing
This story will eventually have mature themes (smut, swearing, mentions of dv) and is considered not suitable for minors. If you are under the age of 18 DO NOT interact with this story. You will be blocked.
Word Count: 2.5k
A/N: Here it is! The third installment of APT 10 B! I just want to say thank you for everyone's patience while I've been on a little bit of hiatus with this story and my blog in general. I really hope you guys enjoy!
You heard him the next morning. It was early, the sun hadn’t even made an appearance yet. A small part of you wanted to get up, help him with his things to make his trip to the airport easier. But a bigger part-your more prideful part-was still reeling with embarrassment from last night and the thought of making awkward small talk with Steve this early in the day was at the bottom of your to-do list.
So you stayed cuddled in the surprisingly comfy guest bed, the thick comforter pulled up to your chin as you laid on your side and listened to the faint noise of him moving around the apartment.
You listened for about thirty minutes, smiling when he would joke around with Dodger or curse quietly after bumping into something. The smile slipped from your face when you heard his footsteps get closer until they stopped right outside your door.
You barely had time to close your eyes before the door opened and Steve slipped inside, whispering a quiet stay to Dodger on the other side of the door. You tried your hardest to make your breathing deep and steady to imitate sleep but it was hard when his comforting and just all male scent wafted around you.
Hesitant fingers ran down the length of your face before the familiar warmth of lips and abrasive scruff met your forehead. You held your breath as his lips lingered on your skin.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was barely a whisper against your skin and you couldn’t stop the shudder covering your body. You knew that Steve noticed but you were thankful when he didn’t make any notion that he knew you were awake. Instead he pushed one last soft kiss against your skin and then tucked the covers tighter around you and left.
You didn’t let out the breath you were holding until the bedroom door clicked, and you didn’t open your eyes until the apartment door slammed shut.
Slowly, you rolled out of bed and lifted your arms above your head, appreciating the small cracks your bones made as your body woke up. You knew that he was out of the apartment, and yet you tentatively slipped out of the room.
Dodger’s head popped up from the couch as you made your way into the living room. Immediately, his tail started to wag as you approached him, soft cooing sounds leaving your mouth.
“Hey buddy.” You leaned down and scratched the back of his ears. “Don’t you look so handsome this morning?”
Dodger, appreciating the compliment, let out a bark. Laughing, you gave him one more pat and headed towards the kitchen. Steve’s kitchen, much like his apartment, was very aesthetically male and modern. The walls were lined with an emerald green tile, wooden shelves and small golden details. The cabinets were a more sage green which complimented the tile wonderfully. You remembered the first time you were here how you had decided that this might be your favorite room in the entire apartment.
With a gentle hum of appreciation, you found your way over to the coffee pot that still had at least half a pot waiting for you. As you reached for the largest mug you could find, you noticed the small piece of paper nestled between the coffee machine and a familiar white, orange and pink Dunkin bag.
Good morning! Nothing better to start your first day off than some coffee and a donut. Call me if you need anything or go across the hall to Bucky. Talk to you soon.
xSteve
You peeked in the bag and couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your lips at the sprinkled, chocolate covered donut that sat inside. Setting the note down, you picked up your coffee and donut and made yourself comfortable at the table.
Your phone felt heavy in your hand as you held it in one hand while the other brought the steaming cup of coffee up to your lips. You wanted to text Steve a quick thank you for the kind words and treat but another part of you, your more prideful and stubborn part, was still embarrassed by the events of last night that the thought of you texting him had you wanting to throw up. With one last glance at the blank screen you decided against it and laid your phone face down next to your plate.
You nibbled on the donut, your thoughts wandering to everything that happened in the last week. Part of you thought that you were going to wake up from this insane dream and find yourself back at your old apartment and still blissfully happy with Justin. But no, you were here, in Steve’s apartment, with his dog and no boyfriend and nowhere to go when these three months were up.
“When the three months is over and you still need a place to stay we can maybe discuss you staying here”
Steve’s words from earlier in the week echoed through your head as you cleaned up after yourself.
You couldn’t actually stay here. Hell, Steve probably would rescind his offer if you brought it up again. You had already turned him down and now with last night under your belt...yeah, you needed to leave as soon as the three months was up.
Dodger’s bark and the distinct sound of the front door opening pulled you out of your thoughts. Spinning around, dish washing brush in hand as a weapon, you were ready to face whoever had broken into the apartment. Instead, you were greeted by a very large, very amused Bucky.
“Careful, you might suds me to death.” Bucky’s deep voice rumbled through the apartment like an echo. Your mouth dropped open, one in shock at the amount of syllables that just let his mouth and two to say something, but nothing managed to come out. Dodger let out another bark, this one more playful, as he hopped from his perch on the couch to greet Bucky.
“I-what the hell?” You dropped the brush into the sink, your wet hands now clinging to the fabric of your sleep shirt as you tried to slow your heartbeat. “You can’t just walk in here.”
“I always do when Steve’s here.” Bucky shrugged, crouching down to pet Dodger. His eyes went from the pup to yours with one eyebrow raised as if to challenge him.
Your hands fell to your hips as you cocked your own eyebrow. “Clearly, I’m not Steve. So please refrain from coming in here unannounced.”
Bucky’s eyes wandered from your face down your frame, your face flushing as his gaze lingered longer than necessary on your exposed legs. Suddenly, you were very aware that you were in your pajamas which consisted of a thin white shirt and a pair of flannel shorts. Crossing your arms across your chest, you cleared your throat.
“Sorry, princess.” Bucky pressed his hands to his thighs and pushed himself up. “Steve told me to drop by and check on ya.”
“At,” you glanced at the clock on the stove top. “Eight-thirty in the morning?”
“Well you know what they say,” Bucky smirked. “If you have something you don’t want to do, just get it out of the way.”
You could feel the muscles in your jaw tense as your eyes narrowed at the man in front of you. If he wasn’t being such a dick, you would probably be a little turned on right now with how utterly gorgeous he looked this early in the morning. (who were you kidding, you were slightly turned on) Bucky’s own blue eyes narrowed slightly, but the smug look stayed plastered on his lips. His hair that had been down when you first met him, was now pulled into a low bun with small strands of hair spilling out to frame his face. He was in a basic gray hoodie and black jeans, but it was like they were made specifically for him, hugging every muscle perfectly.
“You always do everything Steve tells you to do?” You took a step towards him and you felt a sense of pride at how Bucky’s smirk faltered.
“Depends on the situation, princess.” He regained his composure quickly,
“It’s Y/N.”
Bucky chuckled, his hand now on the door handle. “Yeah, I know” Opening the door, he paused before stepping back out into the hallway. “Try not to need me, princess, got it?”
“You know I liked it a lot better when I thought you didn’t talk.” You snapped half out of anger but half out of hurt for the way Bucky was treating you. This was only the second time meeting him and you couldn’t think of a reason for him to have such an attitude already. But then again he might just be bitter.
“And I liked it a lot better when Steve was living here.” He let the door close behind him and you stood there until you heard his door across the hall close as well.
“Well so much for being neighborly.” You flipped him off through the safety of the four walls of the apartment.
Dodger let out a little whine, his nose bumping against your leg before tilting towards the red leash hanging by the door.
“Alright bud, let me go put on some real clothes and we’ll go outside.” You sighed. You faltered, taking one last look at the door, holding back the urge to march across the hell and demand to know what the hell Bucky’s problem was.
A different problem for a different day, you thought after Dodger let out another whine and bark indicating that you needed to hustle up before there would be a different problem all together.
Changing quickly into a pair of biker shorts and one of Justin’s old hoodies, you harnessed Dodger up, locked the door and made your way to the park across the street.
The park was nice, very spacious and sectioned off nicely with a playground to the east, an area with picnic tables and chess boards right next to it and a huge patch of open space and a running trail taking up the rest of the park with benches littered around.
You took up a spot on one of the benches, letting Dodger roam around while the park was still relatively empty.
“Is he normally such a jerk?” You asked Dodger when he came up to sniff the area around your shoes, your interaction earlier with Bucky still on your mind. “Or should I start getting a complex that he reserves being that much of an ass to just me?”
Dodger glanced up, his furry brows furrowed as if to say what?
“Who cares? Right? Not worth my time. I don’t need his help for anything. How hard can it really be to watch the world's cutest dog in one of the nicest apartments in the city?” You sighed, letting your elbow rest against your knee as you leaned forward. Dodger paused all sniffing to come up and push his snout into your open palm.
You didn’t need Bucky’s help. You were self reliant and like Steve said, he was only one call away if anything. You were going to be fine.
Right?
You didn’t have time to dwell on it longer when your phone started buzzing against the wood of the bench; Steve’s name flashing across the screen. You hesitated for a moment before picking up.
“Hello?” You asked as if you didn’t know exactly who was on the other end.
“Hey, sweetheart. Just landed in LA and wanted to check on you and my boy.” You could hear the hustle and bustle of LAX behind him and laughed when you heard a grunt and then a quick apology from Steve.
“We’re doing good. Just at the park, getting some fresh air.” You leaned back against the bench.
“He loves the park.” You could hear the smile in his voice which made you smile as well. “There’s a dog park about six blocks away that he also loves. Bucky takes him there sometimes, so maybe the two of you could go together sometime.”
You made a tiny little grunt of agreement, but the word Bucky just made you frown.
“Yeah, maybe.”
Steve was quiet on the other end and you could hear the busyness dissipate as he got to a somehow quiet area. “Everything okay? Bucky’s gonna come and check on ya in a bit so maybe you could ask him then.”
“He already came over.” You tried to hold back the slight bitter tone in your voice but you knew it carried through. You sighed, not wanting to bring Steve into the apparent beef you had with his best friend and neighbor.
“Why does it sound like that didn’t go very well?” Steve chuckled, but you could hear the slight tinge of concern.
“It went fine.” You lied, hopefully convincingly. “It will be nice to have him across the hall.”
“Okay.” Steve didn’t sound convinced. He cleared his throat before continuing. “Did you see my note and the little surprise I left for you?”
“I did.” Your smile returned. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“Good, it’s hard to have a bad first day if it starts with coffee and donuts.” He laughed on the other end.
“Very true.” You agreed, your fingers playing with the run in your leggings. “Well I don’t want to keep you-”
“I want to apologize for-”
You and Steve both stopped. You could feel your palms get clammy at what you knew he was going to bring up.
“I should let you go.” You rushed out, hoping to end the conversation.
“Before you go, sweetheart, I just want to say sorry.” Steve said, halting any sort of stopping you were trying. “About last night. I don’t want you to think that I-”
“Steve, stop.” You squeezed your eyes shut. “Please. I’m already so embarrassed. I just want to forget it happened.”
“Y/N, honey.” Steve sighed. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. But I’ll drop it if that’s what you want. I just don’t want there to be any awkwardness between us. I like you...a lot and I hope that after this is all over we can still have a friendship. And I don’t want to ruin that before it even starts.”
You swallowed as you took in his words. We are going to be friends so don’t make it weird by trying to make out with me again.
“I agree.” Your fingers now tugging at the loose piece of thread on your leggings. “Anyway, I should go. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yeah. Talk to you lat-” You hung up before he could even finish, resisting the urge to toss your phone into a bush and leave it there.
You didn’t know how you got into a mess somehow with two different men in the span of twelve hours but you weren’t here for it and you were starting to wonder what exactly you got yourself into.
pairings: post defending jacob!andy barber x fem teacher!reader
warnings: none
word count: 1.7k
summary: Reader is doing her best to not let her feelings for her favorite student's dad grow any more than they already have, but it proves difficult when said dad has his eyes on her.
A/N: APT 10 B PART THREE COMING TOMORROW! I REPEAT IT"S FINALLY HAPPENING :) Thank you to everyone for their patience, I appreciate it more than you know.
“He sure is handsome, that’s for sure.” Your ears perked up as you took a sip of your morning coffee. The teacher’s lounge at Crestview Elementary was about as gossip filled as a middle school locker room, if not more. You peeked over the top of your mug to see two of your colleagues, Samara Timm and Kathy Bridges, staring out the window that overlooked the drive where parent drop off was happening.
You could only assume they were talking about Andy Barber. The hot and single parent of Kacey Barber, one of your kindergarten students.
“There’s conferences tonight, Y/N. Are you excited to have some one-on-one time with Andy?” Samara turned to you, confirming your suspicions. “I can’t wait until Macey is in second grade.”
“Kacey.” You corrected, standing up and walking over to the sink to rinse out your mug. “Her name is Kacey. And I’m as excited to talk to Mr. Barber as I am for all seventeen other parents I’ll be talking to.”
Samara and Kathy both looked a little taken aback by your snarky response but you didn’t care. You and every other teacher in this school knew what Andy had been through. You hated that these women only saw him for his looks. Of course he was good looking, you weren’t going to try and deny it, but after having Kacey in your class for the last six months you’ve come to know him as a wonderful person as well.
Without another word you left them in the lounge, making your way down the hall towards your room. You smiled at some of the older students you had previously throughout the years. It was your favorite part of being a kindergarten teacher was the ability to see your kids grow right in front of you, at least for a couple years.
When you turned the corner to your classroom, your smile grew. Kacey Barber stood at the door with her dad, a shiny red apple looking ginormous in her tiny hands.
“Miss Y/L/N!” She waved eagerly, the apple wavering as it tried to now balance in just one hand.
Kacey was as cute as her dad. She had his piercing blue eyes and rosy complexion. Her hair, brown like his, was always pulled into the cutest pigtails.
“Good morning, Miss Barber,” you laughed, crouching down to her level. “What have you got there?”
“Daddy and I watched this movie last night and all the kids brought their favorite teacher an apple.” She leaned forward and cupped a tiny hand around your ear, her voice now coming out in a tiny whisper. “You’re my all time favorite.”
You chuckled as you copied her motions. “Don’t tell anyone, but you’re my all time favorite too.”
She pulled away giggling.
“I also think she’s trying to get into your good graces so you talk her up at conferences tonight.” Andy’s deep voice vibrated through your body. You glanced up at him from your lowered position. You felt the weight of his stare as his eyes never left yours as they crinkled in amusement.
“No need for bribery for that, Mr. Barber.” You chuckled, attempting to stand up.
Quickly his hand wrapped around your upper arm helping you up. You shot him a grateful look before taking a step back.
“Please call me Andy. I feel like we’ve known each other long enough now.”
“Okay...Andy.” You said tentatively. His smile grew as he opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by his daughter.
“Yeah, daddy. I’m a good girl at school.” Kacey said proudly.
“Oh really? So why does all that change when you get home?” Andy teased, reaching down to lift her easily into his arms.
Kacey gave her father a shocked look which only made him smile more.
“Miss Y/L/N! Trevor put glue in his hair again!” A tiny voice called from inside your classroom.
Fucking Trevor.
“Duty calls.” You sighed. “I will see you tonight for conferences Mr.-“ Andy raised his eyebrow in your direction. “Sorry. Andy.”
“I’ll see you tonight, Miss Y/L/N.”
“Y/N.” You responded.
“Y/N.” You couldn’t help but love the way your name rolled off his tongue. He gave Kacey a quick kiss before sending her off with you.
You took her hand as you walked into the classroom. You were about to walk over to where Trevor was sitting playing with the glue in his hair when you felt a tug on your hand.
“You should marry my daddy.” Kacey said easily.
You let out a tiny cough before shaking your head. “I don’t think I’m going to be marrying anyone any time soon, sweetie.” You said half joking, half serious but she wouldn’t know the difference. “Now do you wanna help me with Trevor?”
You laughed as she made a face but nodded nonetheless.
“Boys are kinda dumb.” She said more to herself than to you.
“Just wait, they get worse.”
- - - - -
You had time to kill before your first conference started. You knew you could start the grading you would inevitably have to do over the weekend but throwing your feet up on the desk and watching an episode of New Girl just seemed like a much better idea.
You let out a laugh as Nick Miller made a very Nick Miller comment, once again boosting your levels of serotonin.
“Should I come back?” You jumped as Andy knocked lightly on the door.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Barber. I didn’t even notice the time.” You scrambled to get your feet off the desk and fix yourself up. You could feel your body heat up from embarrassment as Andy just laughed and walked into the classroom.
“If I have to keep telling you to call me Andy, I might need to send you to the principal's office.”
You felt yourself relax at his teasing nature.
“I’m sorry, Andy. I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of...well me I guess.”
“The impression I get from you is that you are a very hardworking, dedicated teacher. One who my daughter absolutely adores.” He said sincerely. “We all need to toss our feet up sometimes. Lord knows I should give it a try.”
“Thank you.” You motioned for him to sit down in the chair across from you.
You wanted to laugh at how his large frame looked in the tiny chair. You hadn’t been able to find a good grown up chair anywhere so you were reduced to using one of the ones from a third grade classroom. Bigger than your chairs in your room but still tiny in comparison to an adult.
“Mind if I just sit on top of one of the desks?” Andy laughed as he tried to get comfortable.
“Please.” The laugh you were holding in finally coming out. “I’m 0-2 right now.”
“Nah. You’re still batting 1000.”
You cleared your throat, trying to hide your blush as you looked down at your notes you had prepared.
“So um, like I said this morning. Kacey is amazing, as you know. She’s so smart for her age and the little social butterfly of the classroom. I think she’s friends with everyone.” You gushed.
Andy’s face glowed with pride. “She never ceases to amaze me.”
“And academically she’s doing great. We have some trouble with math, so I tend to help her a little more one on one with that and that always seems to help.” You ran your finger over the page. “I mean there’s really not much else to say. She’s fantastic and I’ll miss her when the year is over.”
“And she you. She never stops talking about how much fun she had with Miss Y/L/N in the car on the way home.” Andy laughs. “I don’t know if I should be happy she has such an amazing teacher or be nervous I’m not her favorite person in the world. Which I can’t be too upset about, I suppose.”
“And why is that?”
“Well you are pretty great. If I need to come in second place to anyone I’m glad it’s you.” The sincerity in his voice caught you off guard and you once again felt your body getting hot.
“That’s some high praise.” You countered.
“But very well deserved.”
“I already love your daughter, there’s no reason to butter me up. It’s great for my ego but completely unnecessary.” You joked.
Andy let out a boisterous laugh that caused you to laugh too.
“I can keep going if you’d like.” He joked back.
“I’m afraid you’ll run out of material soon. There’s only so many ways you can call me a good teacher.”
“Well I guess we’ll have to get to know each other on a different level.” Andy leaned forward on the desk. “Are you fr-“
“Oops! Sorry!” You and Andy both turned to see Trevor’s parents standing awkwardly at the door. Like their son, Mr. and Mrs. Randall were a little spacey but kind all around. “If you still need to talk we can just wait!”
“No worries, Heather.” Andy waved. He hopped off the desk and you figured he would just walk out but he walked up to you holding out his hand. “It was lovely chatting with you, Y/N. Let’s do it again soon?” He said the last part quietly. You looked down at where his much larger hand was encasing yours.
“Andy...” you glanced past his shoulder at the Randall’s who were making their way towards the two of you. You reluctantly pulled your hand from his grasp.
“Think about it.” He said simply. He chuckled as he tapped his fingers on the apple on your desk before turning around to greet the Randall’s properly. You watched him walk towards the door and looked away quickly when he turned back around to give you a wink.
“My oh my, he is one fine looking man.” Mrs. Randall fanned herself as she giggled like a schoolgirl.
“Heather, please.” Mr. Randall rolled his eyes.
“Oh I’m just looking, Mark.” She scoffed before winking in your direction.
To make a comment on the anon you responded to earlier. (Not specific to you) But as much as fan fic authors preach that they do this for free, some of them complain an awful lot.
I know for myself, I am an author as well as a consumer. I like and reblog anything that I enjoy and almost always leave feedback. It is incredibly irritating to see authors complaining about people liking their pieces but not reblogging them.
If you write for free, why do you expect anything in return? I understand wanting feedback but you are not entitled to it. If you have an issue with that, then maybe you are writing for the wrong reasons.
this is literally why i never try to comment on this discourse, and the one time i do, it’s like everyone comes out of the woodworks.
the conversation is moreso about the importance of reblogs due to the non-existent algorithm. reblogs are what help circulate stories and help creators receive recognition outside of their regular following or the tags. it breaks my heart to see writers, be so discouraged because no one is responding to their work. i think any kind of creative feels this way.
also, there was barely mention of feedback on my original response. i essentially said that it’s nice to leave a comment but it was mainly in regards to reblogging. furthermore, it was the second anon who messaged me talking about their entitlement to writer’s responding to their comments on a story.
“if you have an issue with that, maybe you are writing for the wrong reasons” — i write because i’m passionate about it, there’s plenty of work that i don’t share because i keep it for myself. the reason i like to share my writing is because i enjoy knowing that maybe i made someone happy with these silly little words i write — that i made them feel something, or gave them a distraction from their tiring day.
my reasoning for responding to those asks the way i did, was because i know that most writers are feeling that way. if i have to use my little voice to support them, then you best believe i’m going to do it.
the amount of hate, and nastiness that some readers have toward writers is getting to an all-time high.
so you know what? if a writer asks for a reblog instead of spam liking, or if they ask how you like a story — that will never be on the same level as the vitriol that gets spewed on this site some days.
seeing so many people leave this site, or decline in sharing their work is heartbreaking.
and the reasoning simply being that someone decided to hide behind anonymous, and be rude all because a writer maybe; hasn’t updated a story, isn’t as consistent with posting, their works are shorter than usual, etc.
god forbid a writer asks for reblogs, all of a sudden they’re the worst person out there. so the truth is, no one is entitled to anything. but just for a second, maybe consider why writers do get so emotional in regards to this situation?
writers can experience so much negativity, that the least someone could do is share their work that they apparently like so much that they went through and liked an entire body of work.
there’s a lot of facets to this conversation, and maybe i won’t always have a hot take. but i take criticism pretty well, all things considered. so, how come people can’t simply understand the importance of why something like reblogging is so important to a creator?
like i’ve said, writer’s are held to this weird standard where nothing will ever be good enough. anyways, i’ve said my peace on this. hope everyone’s doin’ well today!
Omg did someone say protective stucky? SIGN ME IN! Can i please be added to the Apt 10B taglist? I'm already obsessed and cant wait to read more ♥️
we LOVE a protective Stucky moment and dont you worry because I have some major moments planned out! You are added my love and I can't wait for you to read the rest :)
I know you sent this a while ago but I'm seeing it now and it means so much to me, even more so now after some personal things I've been going through! So thank you so much, love ya!
Bucky and reader meet up again after a bad breakup.
Warnings: angst with a sprinkle of absolute heartbreak
A/N: this is a repost! And I promise you guys I am working on Apt 10B. I have been in the biggest writing slump as a result of personal and professional things but I am slowly coming out of that slump and hope to have it up for you soon! ❤️
Routine. It was the only thing that could keep Bucky sane. His therapist really pushed for him to develop a good weekly routine that would help him start to adapt to life after Hydra. After Steve.
After you.
It was hard at first. He fought against the idea; he had been stuck in the same routine for years with Hydra and he just wanted to do whatever he wanted. But he soon learned that too much freedom was just as scary as too much discipline.
After months he finally found the perfect routine. Today was his favorite day: Saturday.
Every Saturday Bucky would wake up just before the sun and go for a run down the trail behind his apartment. The trail took him to a small park that had the perfect view of the sunrise. Bucky would close his eyes and let the warmth of the sun greet his face as it rose over the horizon. Then he would jog over to the small diner a couple miles up the road and have two eggs, toast and a hefty plate of bacon. Saturdays were good.
Saturdays were peaceful.
Until this Saturday.
Bucky took a long sip of the orange juice in front of him and started to look back down at the paper in front of him when the door to the diner opened. He didn’t have to look up to know that you had just walked through the door. Your signature scent, the sound of your laughter and the overall lighthearted aura that surrounded you now surrounded him. He sucked in a deep breath, his lungs now begging him for some air.
You looked happy. Happier than the last time he saw you. He clenched his jaw and shut his eyes as he remembered that night:
“Bucky, I want to help you but you have to let me in.” You all but screamed, throwing up your hands in defeat. Bucky fixed his stare on you, his jaw tight and his fists clenched. You pinched the bridge of your nose trying to calm down before you started again.
“You mean everything to me. Seeing you like this, so broken…it breaks me. I just-please, tell me how I can help.” Your eyes watered as you approached the stoic man in front of you. As you got closer though he took one big step back. Your heart cracked.
“This is who I am, Y/N. If you can’t seem to handle it then just fucking leave.” Bucky snapped.
“You don’t mean that.” You gasped. Your heart cracked even more.
He didn’t mean it. Of course he didn’t mean it. But you were right, he was broken and he couldn’t bear to take you down with him as he fell further and further into the abyss of his problems. And the worst part of it all; you were willing to fall with him because at the end of the day you were probably the only person that could pull him back out. And even in this moment if it didn’t seem like it; he loved you far too much to let you do that.
“Actually I do.” He lowered his voice, the tone making your spine straighten and the back of your neck tingle. “Just get out, Y/N. I don’t need you. I don’t want you.”
“No.” You had tried to sound strong but it came out more as a pathetic plea.
“If you won’t leave, then I will.” Bucky said simply, his expression and tone now conveying boredom even though his heart was begging him to shut up and pull you into his arms and wipe the tears that were falling down your face.
“I’m not leaving you.” You stated firmly.
“Fine.” Bucky grabbed his leather jacket that was slung haphazardly over the back of the sofa. “I’m going for a ride, when I come back I want you gone.”
He slammed the door shut behind him, but stopped as he heard your cries echoing through the wood. He fought every instinct to run back inside, scoop you up and kiss you until you stopped crying. He was doing this for you. You would be better off without him.
So with one final breath, he pushed himself away from the door and away from you forever.
“Bucky?” Your soft voice drew him from the memory and he slowly opened his eyes. You stood in front of him now, your eyes slightly watered as you took in the man in front of you. He looked different. His long hair was now short and his scruffy beard was now trimmed. He looked good. He looked happy. He looked content.
“Hi-um, hey.” He cleared his throat and stood up. “Hey, Y/N.”
You both stood for a moment, his eyes falling over your shoulder as the two girls you came in with-he recognized them but their names a distant memory-who were watching you closely. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off when you threw yourself into his arms. He tensed as your arms wrapped around his center but then as the familiar scent of your shampoo wafted through his nose he relaxed. Holding you close he enclosed you in his arms.
God this feels good. He thought.
“You look great, Bucky.” You pulled away, smiling. He couldn’t help but return the smile. You turned and motioned for the girls behind you to come up. “You remember Jody and Lynn?”
“Of course. It’s nice to see you.” Bucky tilted his head towards them but he knew the moment they left he would forget all over again.
How could he think about anything else when you were right there?
“Hey.” The girls echoed.
One of them, Jody, he assumed if he remembered correctly, let you know they would be at the table before once again leaving the two of you alone.
“I‘ve missed you.” Bucky finally said. He hung his head low and you knew that was thinking of that night. He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a nervous laugh before looking back up at you. “I…I’m going to therapy.”
“Oh Bucky!” Your heart warmed as you clasped your hands together in front of your chest. “I’m so happy. So proud of you.”
Bucky couldn’t help the flush that he knew was now covering his cheeks. All he wanted in life was for you to be proud of him. Of the man that he was.
“I owe it all to you.” He shrugged. “You always knew there was a better version of me deep inside and after you left…after I made you leave I realized that I needed to find that man.”
The faint watering of your eyes turned to full blown tears as Bucky in such simple words caused your heart to grow and to crack all at once.
“I am so sorry, sweetheart. For everything. For the way I acted. For how I treated you that night. You were always looking out for me and I-“ he cleared his throat and looked towards the ceiling before meeting your eyes again. “I’m just sorry.”
“Buck, you don’t need to apologize. I forgave you about five minutes after you left.” You whispered. Bucky sucked in a wavering breath and looked down at his shoes.
You were always so understanding. Possibly even to a fault.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but thank you.” Bucky cleared his throat once more before looking back at you. “But how are you?”
This time it was you who looked a little nervous. Shifting on your feet, you gave a weak smile and a shrug. “I’m doing good. Actually, I’m uh…I’m getting married.” Hesitantly, you held up your left hand where a small but glowing diamond sat upon the finger that Bucky always planned to don with his own ring. How he hadn’t noticed it before he would never know, but there it was now. A harsh reminder of what he lost and now of what he would never get back.
Suddenly the coffee shop felt small and the oxygen supply was running low. Following the tips from his therapist, Bucky took five slow breaths and gripped his palms, his blunt nail beds forcing tiny crescents into his skin. He had no right to be reacting this way.
He let you go.
He forced you out.
Of course you would find happiness with someone else.
“Bucky, I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing? Don’t apologize.” He shook his head. “I’m so happy for you.”
You tilted your head in that knowing way, a thing you would do all the time when you were together. Your head would tilt and your mouth would slightly pout as you gave him your best puppy dog eyes. He honestly didn’t think you ever knew that you did it, it was just second nature. And his heart cracked as you did the same action just now.
You opened your mouth to say something but were distracted when Lynn called out to you, both hands holding up coffees as she tried to get you to come towards the door.
“I have to go. Um, dress fitting.” You chewed on the skin around your nail, a nervous habit that Bucky had begged you to break but you wouldn’t.
“Go, I don’t want to hold you up.” Bucky forced a smile and scratched the back of his neck. “Be careful, coffee and white dresses are never a good combination.” He wanted to slap himself on the forehead at his lame attempt at a joke.
Thankfully, you laughed, a sound he would cherish forever, and nodded. “They will be sitting at least ten feet away.”
The two of you sobered up, your laughter fading into the sounds of the coffee shop as you stared at each other as if to take in the other one last time.
“I’m so glad I ran into you.” You whispered. “I…I worry about you, Buck. But seeing you so like this,” you waved your hand in front of him, “brings me a small semblance of peace.”
Bucky couldn’t find the words so he just pulled you in for another hug, his mouth pressing the softest kiss to the crown of your head. The faintest sigh left your lips and as your breath hit the exposed skin of his bicep, goosebumps erupted across his body.
“I always knew you would make the most beautiful bride.” He whispered against your hair before pulling back. “He’s one lucky guy.”
You couldn’t say anything due to the giant lump in your throat so you just nodded.
“I’ll see you around?” You finally said, grabbing your purse and slinging it over your shoulder.
“Of course.” Bucky didn’t know if he could survive another run in with you, especially if the next time he saw you you would be married to another man. “Now go, I don’t want to hold you up.”
You gave him one last wave and turned to leave but stopped and turned around. Bucky stared at you in confusion before shock covered his features as you rushed back over to him and into his arms. He caught you with ease, one hand resting on your lower back and the other on the back of your head.
“I will always love you, James Buchanan Barnes.” Your words were muffled into the fabric of his shirt, but he heard you like you were shouting it through a megaphone. Bucky held you closer, his heart beating wildly against his chest as he tried to digest your words. Too soon, you were out of his arms again and wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your coat. Your watering eyes met him and without spoken words you knew that your sentiments were returned.
“You should go, sweetheart.” Bucky said softly when he noticed both Jody and Lynn watching your interaction closely.
“Yeah, okay.” You sniffed. “I’ll see you later, Buck. Promise?”
“I promise.”
You gave a small smile-a smile that had him wanting to bring you back home with him and never let you go-and then rushed towards your friends who he could tell immediately started grilling you for information. Your eyes met his from across the shop and he just gave you a small wave before sitting back and down and pretending to go back to his paper. Once he heard the bell ring, signaling the opening of the door and the departure of you, he took a breath and dropped the paper back to the table.
He promised that he would see you later, a promise he knew he wouldn’t keep. Seeing you and knowing that you were with someone else? That you were married to someone else? He wouldn’t be able to handle it. He always hated lying to you, but he would forgive himself for this lie just this once.
Bucky and reader meet up again after a bad breakup.
Warnings: angst with a sprinkle of absolute heartbreak
A/N: this is a repost! And I promise you guys I am working on Apt 10B. I have been in the biggest writing slump as a result of personal and professional things but I am slowly coming out of that slump and hope to have it up for you soon! ❤️
Routine. It was the only thing that could keep Bucky sane. His therapist really pushed for him to develop a good weekly routine that would help him start to adapt to life after Hydra. After Steve.
After you.
It was hard at first. He fought against the idea; he had been stuck in the same routine for years with Hydra and he just wanted to do whatever he wanted. But he soon learned that too much freedom was just as scary as too much discipline.
After months he finally found the perfect routine. Today was his favorite day: Saturday.
Every Saturday Bucky would wake up just before the sun and go for a run down the trail behind his apartment. The trail took him to a small park that had the perfect view of the sunrise. Bucky would close his eyes and let the warmth of the sun greet his face as it rose over the horizon. Then he would jog over to the small diner a couple miles up the road and have two eggs, toast and a hefty plate of bacon. Saturdays were good.
Saturdays were peaceful.
Until this Saturday.
Bucky took a long sip of the orange juice in front of him and started to look back down at the paper in front of him when the door to the diner opened. He didn’t have to look up to know that you had just walked through the door. Your signature scent, the sound of your laughter and the overall lighthearted aura that surrounded you now surrounded him. He sucked in a deep breath, his lungs now begging him for some air.
You looked happy. Happier than the last time he saw you. He clenched his jaw and shut his eyes as he remembered that night:
“Bucky, I want to help you but you have to let me in.” You all but screamed, throwing up your hands in defeat. Bucky fixed his stare on you, his jaw tight and his fists clenched. You pinched the bridge of your nose trying to calm down before you started again.
“You mean everything to me. Seeing you like this, so broken…it breaks me. I just-please, tell me how I can help.” Your eyes watered as you approached the stoic man in front of you. As you got closer though he took one big step back. Your heart cracked.
“This is who I am, Y/N. If you can’t seem to handle it then just fucking leave.” Bucky snapped.
“You don’t mean that.” You gasped. Your heart cracked even more.
He didn’t mean it. Of course he didn’t mean it. But you were right, he was broken and he couldn’t bear to take you down with him as he fell further and further into the abyss of his problems. And the worst part of it all; you were willing to fall with him because at the end of the day you were probably the only person that could pull him back out. And even in this moment if it didn’t seem like it; he loved you far too much to let you do that.
“Actually I do.” He lowered his voice, the tone making your spine straighten and the back of your neck tingle. “Just get out, Y/N. I don’t need you. I don’t want you.”
“No.” You had tried to sound strong but it came out more as a pathetic plea.
“If you won’t leave, then I will.” Bucky said simply, his expression and tone now conveying boredom even though his heart was begging him to shut up and pull you into his arms and wipe the tears that were falling down your face.
“I’m not leaving you.” You stated firmly.
“Fine.” Bucky grabbed his leather jacket that was slung haphazardly over the back of the sofa. “I’m going for a ride, when I come back I want you gone.”
He slammed the door shut behind him, but stopped as he heard your cries echoing through the wood. He fought every instinct to run back inside, scoop you up and kiss you until you stopped crying. He was doing this for you. You would be better off without him.
So with one final breath, he pushed himself away from the door and away from you forever.
“Bucky?” Your soft voice drew him from the memory and he slowly opened his eyes. You stood in front of him now, your eyes slightly watered as you took in the man in front of you. He looked different. His long hair was now short and his scruffy beard was now trimmed. He looked good. He looked happy. He looked content.
“Hi-um, hey.” He cleared his throat and stood up. “Hey, Y/N.”
You both stood for a moment, his eyes falling over your shoulder as the two girls you came in with-he recognized them but their names a distant memory-who were watching you closely. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off when you threw yourself into his arms. He tensed as your arms wrapped around his center but then as the familiar scent of your shampoo wafted through his nose he relaxed. Holding you close he enclosed you in his arms.
God this feels good. He thought.
“You look great, Bucky.” You pulled away, smiling. He couldn’t help but return the smile. You turned and motioned for the girls behind you to come up. “You remember Jody and Lynn?”
“Of course. It’s nice to see you.” Bucky tilted his head towards them but he knew the moment they left he would forget all over again.
How could he think about anything else when you were right there?
“Hey.” The girls echoed.
One of them, Jody, he assumed if he remembered correctly, let you know they would be at the table before once again leaving the two of you alone.
“I‘ve missed you.” Bucky finally said. He hung his head low and you knew that was thinking of that night. He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a nervous laugh before looking back up at you. “I…I’m going to therapy.”
“Oh Bucky!” Your heart warmed as you clasped your hands together in front of your chest. “I’m so happy. So proud of you.”
Bucky couldn’t help the flush that he knew was now covering his cheeks. All he wanted in life was for you to be proud of him. Of the man that he was.
“I owe it all to you.” He shrugged. “You always knew there was a better version of me deep inside and after you left…after I made you leave I realized that I needed to find that man.”
The faint watering of your eyes turned to full blown tears as Bucky in such simple words caused your heart to grow and to crack all at once.
“I am so sorry, sweetheart. For everything. For the way I acted. For how I treated you that night. You were always looking out for me and I-“ he cleared his throat and looked towards the ceiling before meeting your eyes again. “I’m just sorry.”
“Buck, you don’t need to apologize. I forgave you about five minutes after you left.” You whispered. Bucky sucked in a wavering breath and looked down at his shoes.
You were always so understanding. Possibly even to a fault.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but thank you.” Bucky cleared his throat once more before looking back at you. “But how are you?”
This time it was you who looked a little nervous. Shifting on your feet, you gave a weak smile and a shrug. “I’m doing good. Actually, I’m uh…I’m getting married.” Hesitantly, you held up your left hand where a small but glowing diamond sat upon the finger that Bucky always planned to don with his own ring. How he hadn’t noticed it before he would never know, but there it was now. A harsh reminder of what he lost and now of what he would never get back.
Suddenly the coffee shop felt small and the oxygen supply was running low. Following the tips from his therapist, Bucky took five slow breaths and gripped his palms, his blunt nail beds forcing tiny crescents into his skin. He had no right to be reacting this way.
He let you go.
He forced you out.
Of course you would find happiness with someone else.
“Bucky, I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing? Don’t apologize.” He shook his head. “I’m so happy for you.”
You tilted your head in that knowing way, a thing you would do all the time when you were together. Your head would tilt and your mouth would slightly pout as you gave him your best puppy dog eyes. He honestly didn’t think you ever knew that you did it, it was just second nature. And his heart cracked as you did the same action just now.
You opened your mouth to say something but were distracted when Lynn called out to you, both hands holding up coffees as she tried to get you to come towards the door.
“I have to go. Um, dress fitting.” You chewed on the skin around your nail, a nervous habit that Bucky had begged you to break but you wouldn’t.
“Go, I don’t want to hold you up.” Bucky forced a smile and scratched the back of his neck. “Be careful, coffee and white dresses are never a good combination.” He wanted to slap himself on the forehead at his lame attempt at a joke.
Thankfully, you laughed, a sound he would cherish forever, and nodded. “They will be sitting at least ten feet away.”
The two of you sobered up, your laughter fading into the sounds of the coffee shop as you stared at each other as if to take in the other one last time.
“I’m so glad I ran into you.” You whispered. “I…I worry about you, Buck. But seeing you so like this,” you waved your hand in front of him, “brings me a small semblance of peace.”
Bucky couldn’t find the words so he just pulled you in for another hug, his mouth pressing the softest kiss to the crown of your head. The faintest sigh left your lips and as your breath hit the exposed skin of his bicep, goosebumps erupted across his body.
“I always knew you would make the most beautiful bride.” He whispered against your hair before pulling back. “He’s one lucky guy.”
You couldn’t say anything due to the giant lump in your throat so you just nodded.
“I’ll see you around?” You finally said, grabbing your purse and slinging it over your shoulder.
“Of course.” Bucky didn’t know if he could survive another run in with you, especially if the next time he saw you you would be married to another man. “Now go, I don’t want to hold you up.”
You gave him one last wave and turned to leave but stopped and turned around. Bucky stared at you in confusion before shock covered his features as you rushed back over to him and into his arms. He caught you with ease, one hand resting on your lower back and the other on the back of your head.
“I will always love you, James Buchanan Barnes.” Your words were muffled into the fabric of his shirt, but he heard you like you were shouting it through a megaphone. Bucky held you closer, his heart beating wildly against his chest as he tried to digest your words. Too soon, you were out of his arms again and wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your coat. Your watering eyes met him and without spoken words you knew that your sentiments were returned.
“You should go, sweetheart.” Bucky said softly when he noticed both Jody and Lynn watching your interaction closely.
“Yeah, okay.” You sniffed. “I’ll see you later, Buck. Promise?”
“I promise.”
You gave a small smile-a smile that had him wanting to bring you back home with him and never let you go-and then rushed towards your friends who he could tell immediately started grilling you for information. Your eyes met his from across the shop and he just gave you a small wave before sitting back and down and pretending to go back to his paper. Once he heard the bell ring, signaling the opening of the door and the departure of you, he took a breath and dropped the paper back to the table.
He promised that he would see you later, a promise he knew he wouldn’t keep. Seeing you and knowing that you were with someone else? That you were married to someone else? He wouldn’t be able to handle it. He always hated lying to you, but he would forgive himself for this lie just this once.
So many are us are unable to write new fics right now for many reasons. Reblog your fics. Be proud! And check out this post and give a boost to someone who may need it. ❤️❤️❤️
