Chronicles from 4.012 Incorrect quotes

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MC: *sneezes*

Ariel: *hands them a picture of himself*

MC: what’s this for?

Ariel: i’m blessing you ♥︎

[chronicles4012incorrectquotes]

Akane: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on

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Joe: The phrase “free as a bird” is often misused. It means you don’t have to pay for them. See a bird? Pick it up. It’s yours now. I have 4 hawks, 10 pigeons, 23 crows, and a penguin.

[chronicles4012incorrectquotes]

Hasiel: WHY IS THE FIRST AID KIT FULL OF GUMMY BEARS???

Joe, bleeding: I thought it would be funny at the time

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Kyeran: Akane and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Maske: *Sighing* What did Akane do?

Kyeran: She chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Akane: Who wants a steering wheel?

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Akane: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Ariel: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Zihel: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you, self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists, self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes.

Joe: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Akane: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

[chronicles4012incorrectquotes]

Zihel: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Ariel: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Zihel: I’m leaving, and I’M TAKING MC WITH ME

Pin, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

[chronicles4012incorrectquotes]

Pin: Why is Valefar so mad?

Ariel: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Pin: And...?

Ariel: He got Zihel.

[chronicles4012incorrectquotes]

Joe: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

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Maske: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

[chronicles4012incorrectquotes]

Maske: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

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Arael, tending to Joe's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Joe: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

[chronicles4012incorrectquotes]

Joe: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Hasiel, not looking up from their book: Spear.

Joe: BLOCKED.

[chronicles4012incorrectquotes]

Valefar: What are your goals?

Pin: To pet all the dogs.

Valefar: No, fitness goals.

Pin: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

[chronicles4012incorrectquotes]

Maske: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Akane: I think you mean cards.

Maske, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I don't.

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Joe: Truth or dare.

Hasiel: This isn't a slumber party.

Joe: I don't know, it kinda feels like one.

Hasiel: We are in jail.

Arael: I choose dare.

[chronicles4012incorrectquotes]

Arael: what are friends with benefits?

MC: uhhh very special sort of friends-

Arael: oh you mean like us?

MC: nO-