All of Pearl’s dialogue that changed meaning after the new episode Let me know if I missed anything

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@chubbywitchbitch
All of Pearl’s dialogue that changed meaning after the new episode Let me know if I missed anything
I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that
@tabbran please add lemon man story to this
PRESENTING LEMON MAN
That was a wild goddamn ride
god this was worth the read
Me before jungle moon: the rose is pink diamond theory is completely debunked.
Me now:
I reblogged this once and found $999 on the floor.
Reblog the Money Susie and you’ll have money coming your way too 💵💵
Holy shit I just won the lottery this really works
How do you find $999 on the floor?
I Reblogged The Money Susie Thats How .
DO NOT!!! SCROLL PAST!!! THIS!! REALLY!! WORKS!! i didnt really believe in things like these but when i saw it on my dash i thought, well, why not, ive really been needing money for the new game i want to buy anyway. and i hit reblog. the next day my mom gave me $100 in CASH and when i asked her why she said that she just felt like increasing my allowance!!i dont know if shes going to keep on giving me $100 allowance so im reblogging again just to make sure
Fuck it
Does it work?!!! Or is it a fraud?!
Those Who Question The Money Susie Will Suffer 500 Million Years Of Debt
The real question is why the heck she stuffed money up her nose do you hAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THAT’S BEEN?
Wtf why does this work???
New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like down-home folksy expressions you learned from your grandma but are actually just nonsense you just made up
- that man really salts my melon!
- you know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken
- a louse will live on any head it lands on
- don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows
- there’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big
- like digging a pond and hoping for ducks
This was supposed to be a joke and all but as a southerner, these still make sense.
its weird these don’t mean anything but you can still kind of intuit what they would mean if they were things people actually said.
@lexicalpsychopathy I literally can’t help but picture you saying all of these
That man really salts my melon: Salt is actually frequently added to melons around here, so someone who salted your melon would be doing you a favor, or make something more appealing. Even though the framing presents it as a negative thing, so maybe you’d use it for someone who annoys you by doing you a favor.
It takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken: Even if something might seem like a small ask, over time it might add up. A single chicken might eat a small amount of corn in a single day, but over time you’ll find you’ve bought lots of corn. Therefore, something that seems miniscule may in fact be a large commitment.
A louse will live on any head in lands on: Everyone can suffer through bad times and ill luck, regardless of their lot in life. (ie, anyone can suffer from depression, even if they haven’t got it “bad enough”)
Don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows: There are multiple possible meanings for this. My favorite is don’t take time fixing a problem you don’t even have, ie, if you don’t have cows, you don’t have the problem of your cows needing a salt lick.
There’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big: Don’t blame circumstances for a problem of your own creation.
Like digging a pond and hoping for ducks: Don’t just hope something will turn out after one step, actually follow through all of them. Your pond could attract ducks, sure, or you could just go get ducks to live in your pond.
Seriously, every single one of these nonsenses you just made up follow a certain internal logic and make perfect sense.
I’M SCREAMING AT HIS REPLY
Honestly in all of these stories these poetic white men who somehow end up immortal get so bored and miserable because they just sit in their mansion all day doing whatever it is they need to do in order to sustain their immortality and then they just throw lavish parties and organize orgies or whatever and then they’re like “why am I sad I eat three course meals and have at least one orgy daily what MORE could I POSSIBLY need??”
Like???? Damn go for a walk. Do you even KNOW your neighbors? Get a dog and take it to the park. Set up an elaborate fish tank. Go skiing like you’ve been alive for 200 years and you’ve spent 180 of it in your house looking at paintings and drinking wine with other rich assholes no wonder ur life sucks my man.
Buy a canoe.
this post was specifically targeting dorian grey.
HOME OLONE ON THE WEEKEND
[x]
Perhaps many things inside you have been transformed; perhaps somewhere, someplace deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad.
Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet (via theliteraryjournals)
*reads all of this in Linda Belcher’s voice*
Ivan Pavlov’s dogs with their handlers at the Physiology Dept, Imperial Institute of Experimental Medicine, St. Petersburg 1904 .
via reddit
Rejected anthology submission
yo what are you always so stressed about?
me:
In Bed with the Bae
Her: Babe I wanna have a baby
Me: When?
Her: Right now… *Climbs on top of me*
Me: *Throws her off*
*pulls out Calendar*
Me: Uh uh. Look here.. right now it’s September and approximately 9 months from now it’ll be around June, which means there’s a strong chance our baby could be a Gemini. Too Risky. Let’s not.
Molly Mendoza