Cincy's Gonzo

[cincysfinest-blog]

Delete This Message

Here’s to the words you never said. Here’s to the memories that will never exist. As I lay here with my mind waited down like bricks and you are oceans away. Every time one is crossed, another is built in my way. Between the lines of fear and doubt I stand a solid figure. Stone cold to feeling yet still crumbling on the inside. Beaten down by years of apathetic dreams on the road. Here is to the man I will never be.

    Where did I go wrong? Slipping past my reaches everyday until I could no longer hold on. Fear and Loathing seem to be the only words you can bear to speak to me. Forced to move on into the unknown, live your life. Left behind I can only beat the floor in regret. Fill the room with tears until I drown in my own self loathing. Each day is another mile you move farther away. Only to avoid my name completely. Something I've done that can't undo. I fall into my own thoughts deeper into the dark. Glued to the darkness not even to see the sun shining bright into my room. Not even the morning birds chirping can bring me to reality.

    What is reality anymore? Just a simply joke to be played on suspecting people to make us feel "real"? Reality is perceived by our own perception, one that I can no longer feel anymore. Numbed by my own pain that the warmth of the sun is over shadowed buy the overcast on my life. Rain when I want sun, Snow when I want rain. Nothing is how it should be. "IM HAPPY!" Good, I'm glad. Something is making you feel better when now I only seem like a past erased with content. No regret to press delete.     Every move you make is another mile away from me. All I want is you to turn around. I'm not him, I'm not him.. anymore. I am.

[cincysfinest-blog]

Renew: Doubt

Everybody has their problems. Everybody is blurry. Everybody is used. Take everything left from me and throw it to the dogs. For everything I have been taught and told to follow is fake. This reporter has seen his last news feed, dropped the mic and walked into oblivion. Flames burst from the streets, everyone panics, and thus the end has come. Forget your belongings and run. Everything you have once loved and known has vanished in front of your eyes. My whole world surrounds you keeping you from escaping. Don't try to fight it for it will only get stronger. Everyone will adapt to this new world and forget your name. Where will you go now? The doubt in human civilization only grows stronger by the minute. I can't keep you from learning about this world, but I can keep you from trying. No one will tell you what to say and finally you will renew your brain and think for yourself. This is your time to rise up and fight back. Fight the bastard who threw you in the mud. Smite the ones who told you, you would never amount to anything. This is our time. The renewal of your heart will teach you to love again. Why can people throw around love like a reusable bag. No respect for anyone as relationships tear into a million pieces over four letters. Those same four letters are the ones that made you fall into this world to begin with. For once you will have a purpose in life. People will recognize you for who you are. The masks you spent your life building off will fall to the ground. People will LOVE you for WHO you are, not who you became. You will have a place to call your home at night. The snow will melt around you as the warmth of your heart comforts you from the pain. Take nothing from anyone else. Give your compassion and wipe away the poor, for no longer will they search for a place to rest their heads at night. Why me? You may be asking yourself. This is no time for questions, this is a public service announcement. Follow this guide and we will save the earth from total meltdown. Society has flopped on itself. No longer humans, rather mere drones sent out by the government to enforce new laws. Laws set in order to ensure no happiness is ever seen. We must rise above the power and show the people how to live. We must paint the skies with a rainbow and reign down the new world order. We can do this, together. Do you follow? Or watch the world fall to pieces right before your own eyes? I hope you choose wisely... for it could be the last thing you ever do.

[cincysfinest-blog]

Sometimes we fail, then other times its just our lucky day.

[cincysfinest-blog]

"Some may never live, but the crazy never die."

Hunter S. Thompson

[cincysfinest-blog]

LIFE: 1252

Is there really no way to reach me when I have found the edge? Too far removed from human society to comprehend the social aspects of "fitting" in. I find myself walking through the streets in disbelief. Day by day you see the people walking with their heads down, coffee in hand, running through the routine. Is America simply training us to become drones in this social experiment? Looked down upon for standing out, seeking more to life. Fear takes over my body as the drugs start to kick in. Only able to focus on where my body is moving. Everyone is a stranger. Everyone is fake. Finally the psycho raging behind my eyes sets in. Do I give in? Do I scream out? Do they know? Of course not. I am the only person tearing into a new world. I am one. Hours and this era seems to effect me more than ever. Not able to comprehend who I am anymore. Have I too gave into this social experiment? I am no longer in existence. Erased from the world and no one bats an eye. Finally, I scream begging for answers to this crazed world I begin to experience. Time drags on. ten, twenty, fourty minutes? Who knows. Too concerned for my own well being as the room spins into an oblivion of colors and shapes. Close my eyes in the dark. Open. Shut. Speak. I have this lack of concept. I may be young but I have created and ruled this world. Politicians turned into leaches and snakes that run my government. The streets and workplace full of mimes, mimicking each others movements and mood. Never standing out. Color has been replaced with grayscale filth. The streets paved in lost dreams. Everyday I fall asleep only to be awoken by the rooster shining into my window screaming, "EAT. WORK. SLEEP!" This heathenistic society fueled by hate and greed only runs into a wall in which it cannot recover. Still lonely I embrace the darkness with pleasure. As I drift to sleep, I ride my horse into a better place. A place where people are encouraged to paint the sky. A place where dreams grow on trees and hope is sold at the corner store. How I wish I could grab a slice and show it to this other world when I come home. However this heaven I seek refuge in is just an imagination created by my mind. How could anyone else believe me. I would be thrown into jail for abuse and smited by the disgusting pigs of reality. Its hard to see what's in front of me anymore. When you look at me, you see nothing but a brick wall. Built up everyday and plastered together in such a bond not to be broken. Whats the key? Simply follow the cat into this world. Place your hand in mine and we can forever live on the clouds of a circus. Darkness falls: Daylight dies. This time, forever.

[cincysfinest-blog]

Will we ever be able to see any farther?

[cincysfinest-blog]

Can't wait for summer to get back on the river and take pictures again

[cincysfinest-blog]

Fear and Loathing

I know that tomorrow will shine golden. Is that what you want me to say? The fact of reality is that nothing can stop us from believing an asteroid or zombie attack could be right around the corner. What's to stop our people from rising up with fists of fury to knock down this corruption we call a government. Tomorrow is simply based on our own perception...  "I have a test that I need to study for!" "OH MY GOD, he is taking me to dinner!" "What should we do?" So where does that leave me? When you wake up every morning looking for the pieces of your life, hoping everything is still contained in your body. Whatever isn't there is simply deleted from your memory, no remorse, no sadness, just simply gone. "Am I dead yet? or just breathing?" Back to the lonely world of make believe. If that's not what this world is then please tell me otherwise. Once you lose your mind, there is no turning back. The edge has finally caught up. You will never know where the edge quiet is, but no one will venture to find it. Many have gotten close and think they're miles away. The only who actually know where the edge lies, are the ones who went over it. The ones who kept pushing the limits and have now entered a different state of mind. Not like the rest of us. I have found myself reaching the edge and into a black hole. Only to wake up in the morning in a new home and a new life. Everything from the past is only here to haunt me. Scare me out of recognition. Two big demons follow me around: Fear and Loathing. No one else can recognize them but me. They push me down, force out phrases, and make the choices I can't comprehend anymore. You may be asking yourself at this point, is this man crazy? In fact I might be. See, this new reality that has been created for me requires to lose your mind and give in to this new home. Demons appear without reason. Horses will roam the streets leaving you with many questions about life. NO QUESTIONS. Simply fall into this lucid dream and let your ambitions run wild, because no one can rule you here. Its yours. Mine continues to haunt me in my nightmares. Running away from the truth and my legs give out into the ground letting me be trampled. Helpless I lie on the ground with outreached hands and no one to take my hand. I have to wake up and fall back to "reality" to catch my breathe and stay alive in this world for it is not my time to fall into the dream world yet. I will not let them take me... Not yet. In a better world, I take ahold of your hand and you pull me free from my fears. The demons are diminished into nothing but dust. The streets lined in filth become cleaned and the horses are finally let free once again. A rainbow runs through the sky and once again the cat takes our hand and leads us down a better road. A dream world which will never exist. These words are written as broken as my bones. My views are as twisted as my brain. I'll be just fine... killing time before time kills me.

[cincysfinest-blog]

Early Apology

I spend most of my time thinking faster than I can type. My writings are how I see the world and the people living around me. There will be spelling errors and I won't always be right. Take this page as a break from your mind and a slight peak into mine.

[cincysfinest-blog]

Internet and DAAP,  I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have these things. Probably not as interesting

[cincysfinest-blog]

The American Dream

    What is love? Its dumb to ask for everyone seems to have their own deffiniton. Some everyday girl who seems to find 'love' in every guy she meets might explain it as a one night stand where the guys actually stays in the morning. One Christian girl might see it as the guy who finally fucks her because she has waited for the lord to fuck her into heaven. Some might even explain it as their spouse; who I might add they complain excessively about. No, I'm talking about love at its absolute core. It seems these days we might need a scientist to find this out. These days, in a land of war on house hold goods and anything that disagrees with the greater good, love has vanished between our own eyes.     August 1969, Love was expressed for three days on a farm field outside Chicago, Illinois. They weren't stock brokers, cubical minions or salesmen. They were simple everyday Americans who gave everything they could to come out to this concert that only advertised peace, love and harmony. Once you arrived in the drug infested naked frenzy you didn't find angry dealers looking for money.. You found love. People who helped each other out. They weren't concerned about your color, race or war. Just that you too shared their bond for music and peace. People who helped each other out because there was a shortage of food. Someone who would give up extras they had, to help another out.. Just because they wanted to. There wasn't a deal going down. No one was making a profit. Just pure love at its highest percentage. Something America seems to have forgotten about.     So where does this leave us today? Nothing but a nation full of lizards and robbers. A world that can take a good guy and turn him into greedy selfish bastard who will tell a beautiful innocent girl that he 'loves' her just so he can fuck her brains out and forget her number in the morning. After a couple drinks, I'll forget your name and remember your ass for his friends in the morning. This disgusting faction has only grown stronger to keep fueling the greed and hatred that keeps the world spinning even after the drunks have finally picked their poison and found their way home. This faction not even I can deny. After studying the other sex and finding how they operate leads you into a world of lays and late night treats, but what does it get you in the end? After its all over the only thing left is to call someone else because the insect growing inside of you will have no rest until the next time you can have your dick sucked by an underage whore.     Some things just don't add up anymore. Whether its the song you hear on the radio or the fortune cookie you find in your hand that reads "your life for hire," there has to be an end. There has to be one moment in your pathetic life that stabs you straight in the heart and keeps you from breathing at night. That one person who makes you nervous. The person who every time you go to speak your words become meaningless because her eyes say everything you were thinking. Do you believe your missing out? When everyone else seems to find their love and one by one you are picked off the cherry tree into a basket and forever stuck behind glass. When the only option is change, the only thing on your mind is fucking because you can't stand to be good enough for them. They stand on a pedestal in front of your damned eyes because you can only shutter behind a crowd.     Who knows, someday you too could be there. What's another drink, she's never coming back. Just another night left alone in the darkness left to the flies. Go on, before they find you too. 

[cincysfinest-blog]

Why must I always give in

looks like Im back in the blogging world.. again. Another way for the world to hear whats on my mind. Because I am so much more important than the others here. Rambling on already............