Writers Folly @cindyls1969 - Tumblr Blog

If I still pinned my crushes up on the wall of my bedroom Sebastian Stan would be my wallpaper

#sebastian stan

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Lazy morning.

Good morning.

@andrewvecchio #marcoovando #moboys #andrewvecchio https://www.instagram.com/p/BoSNpsIAlW4/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1nr6orb7xj27n

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@yoelfernandez19 + @rafaelmiller for @hufmagazine #76 fashion @kpbreen movement coordinator @michaelspencerphillips @nextmodels #marcoovando #hufmagazine #rafelmiller #yoelfernamdez #nextmodels https://www.instagram.com/p/BoMVR-gAjeY/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1dw9fvnzltin3

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Good morning.

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HRT Day #540 10/01/2018

This past Sunday was my 26th Birthday. I gave myself an amazing bath experience at home, complete with 2 dozen roses, bath soaking salts, red wine and a photo shoot of course. Oh yeah, and I broadcasted the whole thing live on the internet, in front of hundreds of people, so there is that. Hahahaha. It was quite an experience, one I will remember for the rest of my life.

My therapy is going fine. It is not always easy. Adult puberty Is equally as hard as it is wonderful, honestly, and I remain excited for more changes to come. I can tell you that I have never loved my body this much, so much so that most of the time im naked. My house is a steady 75 degree’s so I can literally just be naked all the time. I know, it sounds like a lot, but considering what I went through during my teen puberty, constantly trying to mask or hide what was happening to my body… Yeah… Ya girl feels free for the first time ever, now that my body is becoming what I have always felt was right.

There is so much about this transformation that can’t be seen in a photo, and often times the words to articulate my experiences elude me. I find myself staring out the window thinking, writing down random thoughts in a journal. Sometimes I look at previous entries, debating with myself and dissecting how I felt that day, why, and how did I react? Sometimes I think the act of journaling has changed my life more so than the HRT. It is certainly a mechanism that I use often, to make sense of feelings I have had before HRT, but seem so much harder to deal with/accept after HRT. So I guess you could say my emotional capacity has increased a lot, so my heart and mind gotta catch up. Writing a little each day helps with this so much. It helps to remind me of the times I maybe got a bit more emotional than necessary, simply out of not being familiar with feeling things on such a level.

How I protect my heart and soul, how I allow myself to be vulnerable around others, how I understand life… It is all changing. Which as a result is changing me as a person, in ways that can’t be seen, but can be felt or heard. I am learning to articulate these experience as I have them, and even 540 days into my therapy, my transition is still young. I used to be afraid of reaching 30, but honestly the older I get the more she is looking better and better. I challenge myself to feel as good and love myself as much as I do now, when I hit the big three zero.

Xoxo -Alex

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I’m not gonna say I was looking for something else entirely because I was in fact trying to find a gif of Chris Evans when I came across this, but this is not what I was looking for. And yet it is possibly the best thing I’ve ever found.

What the hell even is Chris Evans. What the hell.