Up in lights

Your name is David Strider, and at twenty six years old, you have a mastery over the world of show-biz. You're the smoothest of operators, a creative genius, and you know that all this is going to end very, very soon. What will you do? (( Roleplay account for Alpha!Dave of Rebelbent. ))

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

You're all the gender of the character you roleplay unless you tell me otherwise. No exceptions.

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

congratulations on your newest box office hit. it is total shit. and not even in your weird ironic way.

Congratulations on your newest case of the bitchfits, kiddo.

You'll be in my prayers.

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Thinspo blogs more like no get the fuck out of here.

Nobody wants to see that shit.

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

barbarjwjeane started following you

What.

Why are you-

What are you even doing here?

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Gotta get going if I want to make it to Lalonde's in any decent amount of time.

Catch you guys later.

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Shit spewing monster, huh? All right. I guess it's hanging a little to the left. But really, I have some serious overhauling to do on the smuppet website and I'm not looking forward to it. What's good in the movie biz?

Making masterpieces, swindling suckers, the same good shit as always.

[lethalelegance-blog]

What a pleasure to hear that your newest creation is already in its processing stage. Will it be another masterpiece in the level of staggering hilarity? Some stairs perhaps? 

But anyways, that sounds quite inviting if you phrase it like that. As you know I am a classy broad, and wine is a topic in which I traverse quite often. You must choose wisely my dear, it would be a nice challenge for you.

On that point though I have to say that I am still in the possession of only one cat, even if that might seem disappointing to you. Frigglish always liked you. He will be ecstatic to see you again. 

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Well, if you want a synopsis, I could give it to you like nobody's business.

Alright, so about a month ago, I was shambling around like a damn zombie, more drunk than you would ever believe. I was probably due to have alcohol poisoning six times over or some shit. So I'm wibbling, wobbling, stumbling and swaying like a palm tree in the tropical breeze, and all of a sudden, I have no idea what the fuck happened, but it ended with me in the arms of a scruffy-lookin' hobo as the poor bastard's trying to haul my ass up. It was straight-up animu rescue over here. I was swooning like the prettiest of princesses.

So THEN the guy goes-

Well, uh.

Guess I could probably just wait and tell it to you when I get there, because it's part of the story for SBaHJ and I collect my thoughts better when I'm talking anyway.

Guess it's a trip to the liquor store for me. We're old friends by now.

And okay, now I know you're trying to be funny. The little rat jumped onto me like it was a fucking ambush and nearly bit my ear off. If I'm coming over, you're gonna have to put him in a carrier or something. Seriously. I'm having war flashbacks.

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Is calling you lil man even appropriate? Anyway, hey.

Probably not, since I'm about old enough to have my own shit-spewing monster if I wanted to.

But hey.

There is pretty much no way this could ever turn out to be anything but a completely normal and masculine conversation.

How's it hanging?

[lethalelegance-blog]

At the moment I would be in New York, but I am open for other suggestions, depending on your own location. For time, I would be free on Wednesday and Thursday, or at the moment, but I doubt with your drinking habits, you would be sober enough to face me at the moment. Preparation is the key after all. 

Now, Mr. Strider where are you anyways? Where have your wild vagabond journeys carried you? I would not be surprised to hear that you ended up on the other side of the world, although it would be a bit vexing on the prospect of meeting you.

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Give me a little credit, Lalonde.

Do you think I'd be asking you if I was halfway across the goddamn planet?

I'm in a shitty motel just a few minutes from the Big Apple itself. Been doing business there the past couple days, scouting for people to flesh out the cast for this metric-fuckton of a movie pitch.

My wild vagabond journeys have me less than an hour away from a snooty writer who's probably gathered a hundred cats since last time I've seen her. I'll be damned if I'm gonna walk away without bringing a bottle of wine over to say hi.

What was that kind you liked again? Fucking name's slipped my mind.

[lethalelegance-blog]

Oh Dave, your similes are like always astoundingly accurate, but I do believe you will be able to handle one more read through of my novel, it should not be a task that the mighty Strider should not be able to handle. 

But at the mentioning of fun, your entertainment would be much appreciated, as I am in dire need of something besides Times New Roman font, size 12. The monotony of it all can get quite over whelming, my dear Strider. 

Indulge me, if I may ask so. 

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Just tell me when and where, and I'll try to sober up a little by then.

No fun being wasted when visiting snarky broads, otherwise next thing you know, they've got you trapped in a corner even your most skilful of metaphors can't bullshit you out of.

Fuckin' dangerous game, right there.

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

He doesn't let slip the fact that he owns a well-worn and dog-eared copy of the first in the Complacency of the Learned series. It was presented to him as a passive-aggressive sort of gift, and he often leafs through its familiar if challenges pages when idle.

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

lethalelegance started following you

Rose.

Holy shit.

There you are.

[lethalelegance-blog]

Here I am indeed. Does this please you so much, that you already resort to the glorification of excrement?

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Oh, you know it.

I’m straight up worshipping the...

[lethalelegance-blog]

Ah yes, of course you are, how preposterous of me to presume otherwise. You are the high priest of the grand church of feces, the most notorious of all. People shiver at the mentioning of your name. 

But of course, if you ask so nicely, I will refrain from being a 'raving idiot' for just a second, and indulge you in your request.

Your questions can yield many answers, of various kinds. Why I am not at your place, that can be answered swiftly. It is due to the fact that I have spent multiple hours of gazing upon page after page of typed text, editing the most blatant of mistakes that have escaped me over time. 

But then I could ask myself the same thing, why am I not here, or there, or anywhere near your lovely presence? 

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

So you were fixing up your writing or some shit.

In other words, doing absolutely nothing.

Why don't you fix that and join me for something actually, y'know, fun for once?

I swear to God, if I have to sift through your CotL drafts one more time, my incredibly good-looking head might pop off my shoulders and roll under the table and out the door like a meatball dropped by an incompetent fuck of a kid.

It would just be like "Nope fuck this I'm outie. Going to the bar. Have fun without me, dickweed."

Do you really want that to happen, Rose?

Do you?

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

lethalelegance started following you

Rose.

Holy shit.

There you are.

[lethalelegance-blog]

Here I am indeed. Does this please you so much, that you already resort to the glorification of excrement? 

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Oh, you know it.

I'm straight up worshipping the doodie.

The glorious poo-poo.

The divine dukey.

All this and more (because you know I have more)

Now let's stop being raving idiots for a moment and focus on the important things at hand.

You're there.

I'm here.

We're both... somewhere.

Why are you not here?

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

lethalelegance started following you

Rose.

Holy shit.

There you are.

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

And so, my count grows.

Guess I should be doing something to impress all of you.

So here, little somethin' as a token of my appreciation for putting up with my bullshit.

Just for you.

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Shit, okay, sorry.

Guess I must've crashed hard after getting buttfuck-drunk with one of my writers...

So, how are all my newest ladies and gents enjoying the blog-o de Strider?

[cuttlefishswimsagain-blog]

cinematicmasterpiece started following you

Sup older looking cool kid.

38D

[cinematicmasterpiece-blog]

Sup, younger-looking Empress.

B)