Cave Dweller

Death & Rebirth this is for the feelings that I can’t share

[cinnarollslut]

Sometimes the numbness gets me

It’s okay

All of this is temporary

[cinnarollslut]

It all feels played out…

And I try to end it but I love you more

Than I love me

Looking at the door like

When do I leave

I’m stuck in this room with you

Why can’t I stay with you

When it’s quiet I get nervous

I get worried and I’m scared

I wish that we could be together

But with you it’s always bad weather

Just waiting for the next thing that hurts me

Hoping that breaking for you makes me worthy

That you would change for me

Because I love you more

Than I love me

[cinnarollslut]

There is no greater compliment than a child telling you that you are indeed a mythical being

[cinnarollslut]

I don’t know what was real

[cinnarollslut]

I can’t sleep and I’m barely hungry and the tears won’t come out. I feel like I’m carrying so much weight I don’t know how to let it all go. I can’t believe I let myself go through so much undeserving pain. I feel nothing and everything all at the same time.

[cinnarollslut]

I deserve real love

[cinnarollslut]

Why do I keep doing this

[cinnarollslut]

You’ve drained the ocean inside me

Nothing left but sand

And here I stand

With nothing to give

A dying will to live

Who am I doing this all for

You’ve broken me to my core

Shut the door while I lay here on the floor

Don’t call me anymore

[cinnarollslut]

To be loved is to be changed just don’t change yourself to be loved

[cinnarollslut]

How does it feel to know you lost

What could have been the rest of our lives

Souls intertwined

Destined to grow apart

I’ll always love you from the bottom of my heart

But we can’t erase the lines that were crossed

I’ll keep trying to forgive you

To lessen the pain in my soul

At least on my own I know I’m whole

[cinnarollslut]

never again

You don’t want love

You want someone’s trust so you can break it

You climbed inside my heart so you could take it

You made me your home just to rearrange it

[cinnarollslut]

I wish I was spawned into existence as an apple snail egg in one of those apple snail egg crushing videos. Oh to have never experienced the horrors.

[cinnarollslut]

feeling like jaden smith at the grammys

[cinnarollslut]

Reality scares me. We make decisions that can’t be undone. Left with all that comes with it.

Am I regretful? Am I angry? Am I sad?

Happiness is a fleeting feeling for me.

But why do I make these choices - is it what’s meant to be?

I wish I was by myself and then I’ll wish I wasn’t. I want to be held in the vastness of space, endlessly surrounded yet endlessly alone. There is where I can feel at home. No one around to dictate my actions or judge my thoughts; freedom of behavior.

I feel myself disconnecting and I don’t want to go back.

Everything feels five feet away but it’s right in front of me.

Maybe I should leave. I want to leave.

[cinnarollslut]

You hurt me more than anyone

So I’ll forgive you from afar

I’ll have to love you where you are

Far away from me

[cinnarollslut]

Dear my love, forever not meant to be

Can you promise me one thing - that you’ll never forget me?

And I promise our memories will live in the safety of my mind; out of place, another time.

I haven’t always been good with words, but I’ve been working on it

In your absence is where I grow

I’m perfecting the art of letting you go

[cinnarollslut]

I’ve been so eager to take the next step I forgot to make sure it wasn’t rooted in the feeling of running away